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Back in the days...
Parents: get off that computer it will get you nowhere in life!
Me:But im programming not playing games..I want to become a programmer...
Parents:programming or games it's all the same! Take an example of your sister who actually achieved something with her studies (she's a doctor)
Me today asa computer engineer...receiving paycheck higher than my sister who is a doctor and not to mention I got a car of the company and living very comfortably.
Parents can't believe it.
#rekt
Moral of the story: never let anyone tell you what to do. Keep doing what you truly love and get real good at it!😉13 -
Life of a Developer...
Everyone else: HURRY UP!! WE NEED THIS YESTERDAY!! WHATS TAKONG SO F***ING LONG!!
Me: The documentation you have doesn't have all the information which I've repeatedly asked for
Everyone: silence ...5 -
Who needs Legacy Code to f*ck up your day when you can't understand the code you wrote 2 weeks ago3
-
##REAL STORY##
Friend: Hey there, I have a Java Exam after one hour and I have a question for you.
Me: Great ! How can I help
F: They will give us a problem and ask us to solve it by writing a Java code.
Me: Okay,
F: That's it.
Me: Good, so were's the question.
F: Come on, of course I want to know how to solve it.
Me: Absolute Silence.
Me: friendsList.removeAll();10 -
A teacher who came to see if I'm programming correctly asked me to start my curly braces on a new line like
F()
{
}
because where the fuck did you learn the other version
F() {
}
" that's just wrong"28 -
Fuck these movie people:
You run "sudo apt-get update.." and you say we've got the signal. Your f*cking signal! Am sure someone even typed the password for you. I update my system every 5 minutes I have got no signal. F*ck you again. I'm not watching the movie again. P*ssing me off.
6 -
My dad came with a windows laptop and asked me to convert a lot of jpg files to pdf on a usb stick (wtf?) he showed to me a tool on the laptop that convert files one by one ... and there is 58 jpg file.
Soooo I unpluged the usb key and pluged it into my linux laptop and ...
for f in *.JPG; do convert "$f" "pdf/$(basename "$f" .JPG).pdf"; done
My dad could not believe I had finished in 5 minutes
Linux Powaaaa !17 -
Because they can't show someone sitting idle in front of computer for hours wondering where the f he missed a freaking semicolon
8 -
Friend: hey i heard you are a programmer.
Me: yeah
F: so you are a hacker?
M: No. Well yes but the correlation is bavkwards.
F: oh ok.
...
F: so can you hack facebook?9 -
Frontend team : We pushed our code. Please give instructions regarding integration with Backend.
Me : Alright. I'll provide you the API docs and you can continue with integration.
F : But that's your job. No?
Me (didn't want to argue) : I'll look into it. Let me check out the frontend till then.
* Goes on to see the frontend *
I am kidding you not, that moth*rf*ck*r pushed an entire template along with dummy text.
Me : Hey! This doesn't seem right. It's just a template you got off the internet.
F : Yeah! That's what I have to do. To put on the dynamic content from database is your work. Don't put your responsibilities on me!!
Are you f*cking kidding me?! Do your work right or I am reporting you to the team lead!
Meanwhile, team lead : *sips coffee. Disappears for months*
Bastards!7 -
Real and true story of me.
Friend : what was his first pickup lines that melt you ?
Me : nah, he was straight to the point
F : come on, you both always look romantic all the time. there must be something in the beginning. tell me more !
Friend : fine, he said "I Like you, can i i SSH you ?" so i replied "I'm not that complicated, sudo hug me"
F: i regret being your friend.16 -
!rant
So this happened in the zoom meeting today. 2 colleagues were arguing on something.
A : "Do I look like f**king joke to you?"
B : " No, you don't look like a joke , your camera is off. But you sound like one. "
A : "I am so tired of you , f**k you man"
B: " Hey you can't f**k me without my consent, I said I am not interested."
Me : "Uhm guys this is scrum meeting."
B: "No shit captain obvious, we all know that. "
I am so speechless.....36 -
When your stupid brain decides to rewrite the whole core of an application (written in a framework I just started with) two hours before the deadline and it f*cking works
1 -
Client: site is not compatible with IE11
QA: yo devs, site is not compatible with IE11
Devs: who the f*ck uses IE11?!5 -
Headphones ON ears means DON'T disturb unless it's important.
Talking about the chance of rain is not f*ing important. Especially when it's the 10th effin time I'm interrupted by nonsense officetalk in one hour!6 -
when it's 36*C / 97*F in the city and you pack your laptop into your backpack and flee on to the swiss alps. To work on a new website at a beautiful landscape, on green meadows, cows and agreeable 18*C / 64*F.
And getting payed for this... This is life!
10 -
Took part in a hackathon.... Made the damn system shine and judges didn't even look at the implementation.
Chose the winner by just the idea! And I was like whaaaat the f***!!!7 -
here's a shoutout to 90% of websites today:
NO, I DO NOT WANT YOUR F*CKING NEWSLETTER! STOP ASKING!
NO, I DO NOT WANT YOUR F*CKING NOTIFICATION! STOP ASKING!
NO, I DO NOT WANT TO SHARE MY F*CKING LOCATION! STOP ASKING!
NO, I DO NOT WANT ANY F*CKING COOKIES! STOP ASKING!
website publishers ary whining about adblockers, but keep shoving so much shit down our throats that even a dozen browser addons can't make the web usable. the internet was such a great place once, where did we go wrong?
(rhetorical question. it's when we made access to the internet so easy, that every 100% tech-illiterate idiot could get online.)14 -
C is not that hard:
void (* (* f[ ]) () ) () declares f to be array of unspecified size, of pointers to functions, which return pointers to functions which return void.
By the way, I am uncomfortable with the fact that I am comfortable with this statement.
6 -
Very long story ahead!
Yesterday in the evening a friend of mine (calling him F from now on) became the target of something new to me...
Apparently one can fake his phone number through some fishy ways and call people with that number. Someone (we think we might know who it was, the why is at the end) did this yesterday to F.
Here's the whole story:
We were just talking together on a TeamSpeak Server (a program to talk to others on the internet) when suddenly another friend said: "F, why did you just call me three times in a row?" That was the first thing that was a bit suspicious. After that, F got calls from random numbers (even Afghanistan, we are German), and they said something like "Have fun with the police coming to your house". Then there was silence. 10 minutes later his phone rang and there were a ton of pizza delivery services in his town that apparently got pizza orders from him. Then there was silence, again. Suddenly someone with a hidden number called him, a woman's voice said they were the police and if F doesn't stop calling the police there will be consequences. F then told her what was going on but I think she didn't really care. She then wanted to know where F lives, but I told him not to say that, because if it is the police they can find it out by themself and if it's not, they don't need to know that.
Now, a short break: There is some fake information going around about where F lives. I can't remember when we found out but the attacker thought he would actually live there. No idea what happened at that location...
Now back to the story:
Time went by, nothing really happened. Suddenly F shouted: "There are blue lights outside! The police is here!" He muted his microphone and (the following is what he told us what happened) went down to the door (remember, he is 16) and there were two police men. They were asking about why he called the police. F explained what we knew until then, about number spoofing and stuff... They sent a more technical person to him, he understood what F was trying to explain. The police men drove away and he came back to tell us what happened. (Now we get back to what I heared myself.) The mom came in, screamed something that I couldn't understand, and F went offline. We searched who the attacker could have been. And we are pretty sure we found him. That guy connected to our Minecraft server (that's where I know F from) with his real IP, and his main account, which made it easy to search. He also got a static IP which means it doesn't change. We also got some information that in the recent days this guy was talking about VoIP spoofing and such stuff. Another friend of mine, a bit older, found some proofs and I think he will go to the police.
That's it. Thanks for reading.7 -
M - Me
F - Family member
F: So you study computer science... Could you recover my Gmail login data? I don't remember my email address, password or security question. (7th request to me like that from the same person, they don't bother to write down the recovered pw)
M: I can't do it if I don't know any of the above
F: Wow, I thought you're a good student... Could you at least create a new account for me?
M: But you won't even remember the new... [gets interrupted]
F: So, are you going to talk trash or get to work? You would have already been 50% done
PLEASE I'M SO TIRED OF IT. HOW DO I DEAL WITH THESE OTHER THAN TELLING THEM WHAT I THINK ABOUT THEM. I SEEK HELP12 -
"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
John F. Woods
(found this in a demo snippet)6 -
Microsoft WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K. WHAT IS THE REASON TO UPDATE VISUAL STUDIO INSTALLER TO UNINSTALL VISUAL STUDIO.16
-
Do you ever step out of your happy dev bubble and look at the news or read the paper or just talk to another human and wonder what the actual f*ck humankind is doing right now?
12 -
C=consultant
M=Me
D=my Dumb boss
M: so how are you guys planning to implement the block all accounts feature?
C: oh it should be easy! We will just loop over every account and lock it!
M: what about implementing a flag that just blocks anyone from accessing the site till further notice?
C: what? I’m sure it’ll work. Just need a list of all accounts, we don’t need anything fancy!
M: what happens when we want to revert back to the pre-block state?
C: oh, so we will just unblock everybody
M: even people who were previously blocked for good reasons?
C: i guess so, unless you think otherwise
M: we r….
D: listen! We just need to be able to block all accounts, who cares about this details! So long as we block all accounts! We need this nuclear option in case something bad happens…
M: but what about when that bad thing passes and…
D: when it passes it passes who cares!
Arghhh so much rage here… like first at the stupid engineering design of looping over all of the accounts instead of using a simple flag. Like 1 http call (from one microservice to another) is a lot better than O(n)… not to mention, we won’t have to deal with failures and retries.
And second for my boss being a dumbass… ok you deal with being to afraid to unblock people after we used this “genius nuclear option”!6 -
People who message “I’m getting a error” without any context or even better the actual error message, no one else can see your screen and we can’t magic a fix, and we’re not f***ing psychic, tell us what the f***ing error is. Or better yet, figure it f***ing out like the rest of us, you also have google - go nuts16
-
Do you spend sometimes too much time on making the code look pretty that you forget to implement the f** feature?4
-
This F***ing government college faculty crossed my complete answer of a F***ing bubble sort in 3rd year of Mathematics & Computing by saying and I quote, " Why is this i loop inside of j loop?" and after getting again on my feet after listening and understanding this absurd statement, I tried to explain to which he asked ne to show any book where it is written like this.
To i loop and j loop he meant the variable name in for loops, 🤬🤬🤬🤬
these f***ing reserved government professors in elite institutions like IITs15 -
Non CS friend: I want to learn Hacking, and Hack Facebook.
Me: That's pretty easy, We'll start with Hacking Twitter today, then tomorrow Facebook.
F: Ya, thats ok.
Me: 1. Login into your Twitter account,
2. Open the account you want to hack,
3. Right click on the tweet, and click inspect element, and Change the tweet as you want.
F: Wowww... Man that's amazing...
*** He believed that he is a hacker for one whole day ***5 -
So he is in the “elite” team as a “Sr” dev and i’m in the normal team as a ssr dev.
He: Hey look, the ‘F’ case is empty and doesn’t return anything, can you help me? This is some old code and we have to add some features.
Code:
Switch(string) {
case “J”:
case “F”:
cade “D”:
// some code
break;
// more code
}
I’m crying9 -
The other day I was looking for my wallet and the first thing that crossed my mind was "Ctrl + F" please tell me I'm not crazy5
-
Reading the comments in a piece of code:
{
//Step 1 save stuff in a list
code();
//Step 3 Update the controls
morecode();
//Step 4 Resize the UI
somecode();
}
//Me thinking: where the f*ck is Step 2?16 -
React.js WHY WONT THE F%#&ING STATE CHANGE????
3hours later you realize you forgot curlybrackets...9 -
A friend asked if I could take a look at the function, which he wrote, to see if two trees are equal.
The chat conversation:
F: I sent code.
Me: *put eye on "flag and && true"
F: Hey?
F: You are there?
F: All right?!
A few hours later...
Me: Each time this function is executed, a programmer dies. Goodbye.
And so it's over.
10 -
A friend broke his leg and installed windows to distract himself from the injury pain.
Pain of using windows is more than the pain of a broken leg.
4 -
What the F**K? Why Marketing department always think they know better than IT Department? They always tell us "What so difficult to do this thing? You guys must have templates and change a few things!"
Let me give you some insight here, that this guy is the guy who buy website templates from programmers, change things and upload the site to Bluehost or Wordpress, That's all he do.
Our Software Archictect, colleagues and I personally went from "What the f***?" to "Are you f**king Kidding Me? "
Sometimes I just want to tell him this "Hey you mother f**ker, based on your f**king statement , why would you need programmers then? You guys can just buy the templates and change things".....
F**k you Marketing Department!5 -
Do you know what's better than getting work done. HAVING ANOTHER F****ING MEETING ABOUT WHAT WORK NEEDS TO BE DONE!
I COULD'VE HAD MOST OF THIS SHIT DONE BY NOW BUT I HAVE TO SPEND 1/2 OF EVERY DAY JUST EXPLAINING WHAT THE F***K I'M DOING, WHAT THE F**K EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING, AND THEN EXPLAINING WHY IT HASN"T BEEN F***ING DONE!
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY EVERYONE IS LEAVING WHY YOU CAN'T RETAIN ANYONE? YOU HIRED THEM AS FREAKING ENGINEERS PROMISING THEM THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO DO THINGS AND THEY SPEND ALL DAY IN F***ING MEETINGS WASTING THEIR IQ AND WISHING FOR DEATH!
GGAAAHHHHH! BY THE EMPEROR PLEASE COMMISSAR END ME!4 -
Imac - brand new <16hrs used: Disk error, probably needs to return to apple
iPhone <6 months old: loses cover
iPhone case 2hours of use: loses color
Macbook Pro 2017: randomly shuts down...
Mac mini: CPU halted error
Other iMac (old one): Thread error...
Apple, what the f is going on??? Software problems with root etc. But now, what the f!!8 -
One of our senior dev enjoys berating the other devs because they don't check-in code according to his schedule (once a day, once an hour..he flip-flops a lot), then when they do, he 'reviews' their code, beating them up because of incomplete features, commented out code..petty..petty nonsense.
Ex. (this occurred couple of weeks ago).
Ralph: "The button click code in this event isn't complete"
Dev: "No, its not, the code in my development branch. You said it was best practice to check in code daily whether the code worked or not. I didn't finish the event last night and ..."
Ralph: "Exactly. Before you check any code into source control, it has to work and be 100% complete. What if someone moved that code into production? What happens if that code got deployed? I'm not even going talk about the lack of unit tests."
Dev: "Uh..well..the code is on the development channel, and I branched the project in my folder ...I didn't think it mattered.."
Ralph: "Ha ha...you see what happens when you don't think...listen..."
- blah blah blah for 10 minutes of hyperbole nonsense of source control check-in 'best practice'
This morning Ralph's computer's hard-drive crashed.
Ralph: "F-k! ..F-k! ... my f-king computer hard drive crashed!"
Me: "Ouch...did you loose anything important?"
Ralph: "A f-king week of code changes."
Me: "You checked everything into source control on Friday ...didn't you?"
Ralph: "F-k no!...I got busy...and...f-k!"
Me: "Look at the bright side, you'll have a good story to tell about the importance of daily check-ins"
Oh...if looks could kill. Karma...you're the best. -
I hacked a browser game a few years ago for fun and the exploit I found and used was basically this:
<$php
$f = $_GET['f'];
$p = $_GET['p'];
$f($p);
So it was possible to pass a function and it's parameter in the URL to the server. The author used this to include() sub pages. I to highlight_file()s.2 -
Today I had the most f...g ABSURD and POINTLESS meeting with the client ever, that was arranged by the sales! I drove f...g 100km there and f...g 100km back to have a meeting that lasted about 20 minutes. And it's not even the worst yet. It turned out that I was not even the right person to be there. So guess what - the whole meeting boiled down to me making a phonecall on a loudspeaker to the f...g right person. I have wasted half a day and I HAVE OFFICIALY BECAME THE MOST EXPENSIVE PHONE HOLDER!! Not that I have not insisted a few times before to make a call to ensure that the meeting is necessary at all.2
-
My first new year resolution for this 2017 is learn to do the f****ng unit test before implement the code3
-
Github README: Try the demo before getting started.
Me: Runs the demo
Demo: 96 errors with 32 warnings
VS: Run the latest build?
Me: Yes
VS: Unavailable.
Demo: (evil laugh)
Me: F### you dev!4 -
When the only way to work, is thru a client's laptop, and the client has to be around to use it... F*CK!11
-
No work experience: I'm gonna be the best programmer in the world. My code is beautiful. This is my passion.
After 1-2 years experience: just f@#$!ng work pls so i can go home goddamit i hate my life im hungry f@$!% everyone.4 -
Tip of monday:
Test your restores, not your backups.
Just got f#@ed by trusting the log, not the restore folder size1 -
Why use google calendar?
Get you a micromanager!
Always the same with these f**** 🤡🤡🤡s
Congratulations, you've earned yourself a spot in the STOP category on next week's retrospective! 🖕
4 -
"Try Ubuntu Pro beta with a free personal subscription on up to 5 machines.
Learn more at https://ubuntu.c...."
....subscription ads in "apt upgrade" ... WHAT THE F13 -
Managing a VPS while having an internet connection that makes everything I type appear in the terminal around half a minute later... I need a f*cking stress ball3
-
This scene is an 8-year-old.
My friend(F) got his first mobile. First featured mobile.
Maximum smartness in that mobile was a snake game and Bluetooth.
So I decided to prank him.
M: Bro do you know this particular model need a network to use Bluetooth?
F: I am not stupid to believe you.
M: I can prove that.
F: K prove me, I will give you treat.
M: ok, turn on your Bluetooth paired it with my Bluetooth.
F: Ok
*start sending him the movie. We were on the train, a train was about to enter the tunnel*
M: When the train will enter a tunnel, We will lose network and sending will fail.
F: ok let's see.
*when a train enters in a tunnel, we shift light to black in meantime for 3-4 sec our eyes feel blindness. so I closed eyes before entering a tunnel and once train enter in the tunnel immediately restart Bluetooth *
M: look sending failed
F: Seriously man, I didn't know that.
M: It's ok bro next time inform me before buying any electronics.
F: sure
M: my treat?
F: Yup
*for next few days, he was thinking that Bluetooth need a network to send files until whole group laugh on him*4 -
If you or a loved one suffer from whatever the f u c k this is...
Send them to the fucking hospital
9 -
How the F do ppl manage to wear suits all day in the middle of summer without sweating all over themselves?8
-
Is it just the novice in me that finds the Haskell community's misguided obsession over character count really annoying? Learn You a Haskell For Greater Good states
> Shorter code means less bugs
A lot of people and resources seem to share this opinion, but it's obviously false. Simpler code means less bugs, but look at this function which just means "apply this applicative to each element of a list"
> sequence :: (Applicative f) => [f a] -> f [a]
> sequence = foldr (liftA2 (:)) (pure [])
This isn't "less buggy", it's fucking madness. The same in JS, the king of unreadable languages, would be:
function sequence(seq, val, apply = (f, x) => f(x)) {
seq.map(f => apply(f, val))
}
Seriously, how can you design a strictly typed language that gets beaten by JS in readability?16 -
DO NOT f**king run automation and performance on the same f**king environment! You'll f**k up both the tests. Today is gonna be a long day.1
-
And this is one of the reasons why MS Windows is an unusable piece of crap.. Been 40 mins here and still updating.. Like I have all the time in the f*ckin universe..
10 -
Just entered my password, looked at devrant on my phone, looked back on the screen. "Here you go f**kwhit, I turned into the blue screen of death just because I didn't had your attention"
Did this another time while writing this rant. F**K OFF Winderp!
12 -
This takes me back 14 years to the past when I first started learning VB.Net and Console Apps.
Learning F# to get my self into functional programming let's hope I don't get carried away with the ability to mix C# with F# :\
-
Didn't use windows for over a decade but my refurbished x270 came with it and damn.. They f-ing raped the f outta it. Every action has a kinda lag, nothing is instant. I saw that on my dad's laptop too and thought it was the HD. And why the f can't I smash ctrl+alt+del at boot anymore? It just f-ing ignores. Took a lot of attempts before i found out how to boot from usb. I would not for any $$$ work on windows anymore. Thank God .Net core exists for linux and works great9
-
Oh... You're holding my repo up for ransom? Hah you're funny. I'm not paying money for the garbage I haven't touched since...
Also
git push -f3 -
GOD DAMMIT Amazon is buying roomba. Now I can throw my roomba AND my braava in the trashcan.
F big tech I'm tired of them.24 -
To,
GOOGLE CHROME
F**K U
the sh*ttiest browser ever
Thanking you,
yours faithfully,
annoyed developer8 -
Discovering Julia:
"Wow! It is awesome! It's like a Python but fast, function composition is so useful..."
Then you realize that arrays start at 1:
"WHAT THE F! WHY?!"4 -
My f*cking laptop died. Well, the HDD did. And now I'll be without a computer until I have replaced this f*cking piece of hardware. I kinda wanna die.6
-
As always,
Go to the f***ing toilet and inspiration will pop in your head.
Man, how many times should I post this here? (smirks)2 -
Countdown has begun! July 29 is the last day we see this f***ing dialog. Bye bye annoying Windows 10 update.
12 -
1) Using ScreenRecord record a video deleting his work folder(fake one obviously).
2) create command line vlc player to play this video on startup with flags -f and --no-qt-fs-controller
Eg. vlc -f --no-qt-fs-controller file://<file path>
Enjoy the show 👿 -
Rant! I'm the only developer working in the company and everybody always comes to me and say, oh you are the IT guy can you fix my iPad?
F**$ no I can't... Stupid iPads..2 -
Hurricanes that start with the letter F can go fuck themselves.
Fran - 1996
Floyd - 1999
Florence - 2018
All 3 hit (well Florence hasn't hit yet, but it's fixing to) NC and did significant damage.
I wanted a few days off from classes, but not like this man. Fucking hell I hope it doesn't take the power out for too long or destroy anything important (like people).6 -
Never felt the need for a stressball until I started using those damn automatic checkout machines ...
The f***** juice is in the f***** bagging area and I dont need no f***** help. Who the f*** coded this shit ***** ***** *****3 -
I was asked to debug a website. Quoted an hourly rate. The first file I open I saw this and instantly requoted my rate to include the "Are you f*cking kidding me?" factor.
4 -
Why squash commits when you can just --amend the commit and git push -f
#SecretsOfADumpsterFireDeveloper4 -
A 'using namespace std;' in a FRIGGGINGG FRIGG LIBRARY HEADER.
"Yuh, I'm totally the king of multiverse. F*** me, right"6 -
So I got approached by a recruiter... not from a recruitment consultant company, but from the company offering the position - which is a refreshing change. Now I have a dilemma....
On the other hand I’m really interested in their offer since the way they approached me by basically saying ”noticed you can do F# and we need F# devs” - so I have a chance at getting a job programming with the language I really like. And these opportunities don’t come around often, since F# isn’t really widely used anywhere it seems.
The caveat is, I really really enjoy working where I’m at now, even tho I mostly work with PHP (with the occasional Vue, C# and F# thrown in), but the atmosphere is unparalelled, my colleagues and my manager are the best, and the benefits are better than most companies can offer - so I’m a bit reluctant to change employer, especially since I have personally interesting projects coming up soon on the roadmap.
What should I do if the details for the offer I get are worth considering?17 -
Getting "bug" tickets from customers complaining about EXACTLY WHAT I DESCRIBED WOULD HAPPEN. THATS NOT A F&)$*(%$(*# BUG, THATS LITERALLY WORD FOR WORD WHAT I WROTE IN THE TICKET LAST WEEK YOU F&#*(@#$() NEANDERTHAL PIECE OF SH$%*(#(*)!!! WE AGREED ON THIS EXACT BUSINESS PROCESS WEEKS AGO. DO YOU EVEN READ THE WORDS THAT I WRITE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA5
-
Apparently "in" and "out" are the new "varying" and "attribute" in OpenGL's shader language...
Even buying a new graphics card can f*ck up your whole day! 😥2 -
So 4 months back I agreed to build a website for one of my relatives. In the beginning while discussing about the site they told me that will make the contents and photos that will go to the respective pages. I kept on reminding them about the contents and now four months have passed and I still have no contents and photos. Now they are pressuring me to complete the website soon. Don't they understand that I'm waiting for the f****** contents?! 😠 I kept on reminding them for four f****** months! And they think that I AM the one who is slow! .. FOUR f****** months for one website!8
-
End the f*ckin meeting on time! I don’t care if you still have more to say, 30 minutes should be 30 minutes.4
-
"This page looks better in the app"
No, it f**king doesn't! I checked it, you lazy analytics-hungry monstrosity.1 -
F*CKING MICROSFT CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE THEIR OWN SH*T
I just wanted to install a sh*tty app from sh*tty microsoft store just to find the f*cking install button not working. Went back to full monkey mode and smashed my mouse against the install button .... now I neither have a f*cking app nore a f*cking mouse.
Thanks Microsoft for f*cking nothing
14 -
Starting the morning right....coffee with a fresh pile of f@$&king Windows updates that don't improve anything anyway (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
5 -
I think the -f flag in apt-get means "fucking install it". Whenever apt reports some dependency error shit, I'll just do "apt-get install -f" and it magically fucking works.4
-
Raaaaaaaahhhhh! Danced the whole night until 5:30 on some beautiful playlist on Spotify and then it happened. I wanted the lyrics of a song so I Google it and clicked on a f-ing sportify link in search results. You cancerous cunts. Can't find that playlist back. Raaaaahhh. At least I got one desperado left, got that going on. Almost morning again. Not allowed to f-ing drive. I'll crawl to the f-ing shop to continue the party. Done writing for the week. I'll jump and drink until Monday 7:00 AM13
-
i have been working on a web-based game and this is my daily routine (also i listen to rock and metal)
college to home to coding
thinking
coding...
looks like theres a small bug
shouldnt take much time
maybe this can work
*screaming*
i am not the first with this bug *here i come stack*
dont do this to me stack... theres suppose to be a fix for it
*extreme head banging*
F*** it
*changing songs*
nope this not helping
F***
F*** THIS SHIT
*rhythmic head banging*
oh god kill me
F***
am i really that bad
*autistic screaming*
humming song instead of thinking of bug
(8 - 8:30) me: mom i am hungry
this shit is taking toooo much time
*high intensity screaming*
F*** you bug
coding, its not form me
*surfing devrant*
*felling i am normal*
(10 - 10:30) mom: when are you eating
*high pitch screaming*
i am leaving coding for sure now
its too late time to sleep
fml its late again, i am gonna miss the first lecture again
back to coding
A thousand year later...
Bug status: Still not fixed4 -
"the footer of the site is broken"
seriously, f..k wysiwyg-editors!
all they do is creating invalid bloated html and I'm supposed to clean up the mess behind the content managers...7 -
Today I feel like a coding vampire, let me create a new Xamarin project and boOoOost with the code!!
*Creates a clean project, finds 1492 errors* well... f*ck it
4 -
Why the f*** do people add their BD on LinkedIn??? Who wants to know when a f**** recruiter gets another year older??? If I am close to you I will know or have you on FB.... WTF, who anyway had the idea that would be a good feature to add???4
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Why the f*ck is it so hard to setup an online live radio on NodeJS but making a freaking Google hangouts clone is not.3
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Ever seen a computer with a warranty period as long as the whole 30.... days?
Now you can get one! https://store.pine64.org/product/...23 -
Sittning on a train home drunk a f right now. Only thing I can think of is the interview I got on monday. Fml. Shouldnt rant while im drunk. God save the queeen.2
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I think I did it. I did the thing I set out to do.
let p = a semiprime of simple factors ab.
let f equal the product of b and i=2...a inclusive, where i is all natural numbers from 2 to a.
let s equal some set of prime factors that are b-smooth up to and including some factor n, with no gaps in the set.
m is a the largest primorial such that f%m == 0, where
the factors of s form the base of a series of powers as part of a product x
1. where (x*p) = f
2. and (x*p)%f == a
if statement 2 is untrue, there still exists an algorithm that
3. trivially derives the exponents of s for f, where the sum of those exponents are less than a.
4. trivially generates f from p without knowing a and b.
For those who have followed what I've been trying to do for so long, and understand the math,
then you know this appears to be it.
I'm just writing and finishing the scripts for it now.
Thank god. It's just in time. Maybe we can prevent the nuclear apocalypse with the crash this will cause if it works.2 -
Friends and family: Hooo so you make sites and stuff?
Me: well yes let's say that...
F&F: I got this amazing idea for a site! Can you make it?
Me: Yes sure, will take x day for about x$$$
F&F: What?! I have to pay?? Gave you the idea for free...2 -
Anyone noticed the MS Store icon changed to a BEAUTIFUL COLORFUL MS LOGO SHOPPING BAG?
I LOVE IT!
FML / FYMS (F*** YOU MS)8 -
Logging into my school website when... WHY DO YOU USE 🤬 FRNCH FOR BOOLEAN IN THE URL M🤬F
Ok, I know this is a francophone college, but come on!
4 -
!rant
...i realized i can actually pattern-match like this (as in, sequence of elements (including "whatever") instead of just head::rest in F#...
...from watching a talk about prolog.
like "wait... prolog can do this when pattern-matching? that seems very useful. i think i tried to do that in F# but it didn't work, which seems stupid... I'm gonna go try it again".
and sure enough =D
i think i really am gonna like F# if i find the time and resolve to break through how its different mode of thinking stretches my brain in ways it hasn't been stretched for a long time =D
6 -
taskkill /f /pid 84284
Just spent the last 2 hours figuring out how to stop the localhosted node server... ended up having to take the damn thing out back and shoot it in the head...2 -
Thus happened a long time ago in high school. My classmate was asked to press F5 to refresh the page in web dev lab. She literally pressed F and then 5.
-
The f in "python" stands for fast
Sorry but i literally have nothing better to post. Maybe i shouldnt post something from begin with in that case... But idk.7 -
3rd week of my new job: I f**ed the computer. Deadline is coming and boss on vacations. Great. Just great3
-
float integral = 0;
float dx=float.minValue;
for (float x = a; x<=b; x+=dx) {
integral+=f(x)*dx;
}
A classmate just literally wrote this and he believed it was the proper way to do it.
I asked him to integrate f(x)=1 on 0<x<1. -
What the f*** is this gradle in Android Studio??
M getting tired with this error. Whenever m starting studio it stuck on waiting for build to finish project.. I already done with checking offline work still it's not working.. What the f*** should I do with this error??9 -
So, I move house with my amazing, already configured and stable router with built in VPN, DDNS, Port forwarding and DHCP addresses.
Received ISP shitty router at new address and want to use as modem only, so I go read the manual.
"Bridge mode requires you to configure your other router with PPPoE and the ISP's credentials"
Landline is not working, so I cannot call the number to retrieve my password. After 2 days of waiting, engineer visits, installs master socket, dial tone yaaay.
Call number to get password, automated voice message has such a bad sound quality that I cannot figure out if it's saying F or S, and there are two of those letters.
Put ISP router in bridge mode, set other router to PPPoE and put credentials, nothing. Try with F and F, S and F, F and S, S and S... Nothing. Put it back to dynamic IP address, it works.
I resign myself and manually configure everything I had on the good router to the ISP one. A few issues with my server and DDNS, but hey, internet works.
Start missing the other functionality, try the password idiocy again. Nothing.
Next day, go to work, talk to a colleague that lives close and has the same provider: "I just put it into bridge mode and it worked".
Go back home, bridge mode on ISP router, Dynamic IP on good router, no credentials. It works.
Why do I always overcomplicate stuff?4 -
4 f*ing years since the app is published and f*ing QA team still can't read f*ing logs and find out why the f*ing backend messed up and f*ing blaming it on the frontend in a f*ing scenario that has nothing to do with the f*ing REST API. F**********CK!6
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Who the f*** came up with the idea to add `com.sun.xml.internal.bind.v2.TODO`
Thanks to a hasty ctrl-space #intellij added this … as import … dafuq2 -
How do I help my colleague in fighting harrassment?
This is the story of a helpless employee facing everyday harassment. Im trying to help. Seeking for your thoughts
Backstory fast forwarded: My company acquired another company. So we handle all their projects and clients now, but its a completely new domain. So we needed new people. Hired 4 employees + 1 team lead to start with. But the project process got delayed and they were free for a month. So i took 2 of them in my project and gave them some small tasks to help us over. They loved working with my team and were learning new stuff apart from what they usually did. And we were also happy of their contribution. We became good friends. All of this was in March 2020 before covid-19 was taken seriously.
About my company: I love this company. I have been in this company for more than 4 years now. People are really nice. Parties and fun events. Lot of smart and ambitious people. So company and people are awesome.
Coming back to the story. Lets call the team the 4 and team lead T. The 4 were happy that someone like T was in their team. This T had all the best knowledge about stuff and life was going to be awesome for the 4. Or was it?
Story starts: So I talk to one of these 4 on daily basis. Lets call this friend F. F is a real gentle person. Intelligent and dedicated to work. F is awesome to work with. And always enjoyed working. F is a team player and very very soft person. F is fking workoholic. So few days after project starts, F tells me work was not going well. F is getting real frustrated at work and not able to deal with it or find solution.
What happened:
This person T, who was supposed to help these 4, is real piece of shit. He is impatient, arrogant and MFing dick head. Aaaarggggg.
All the good qualities of a leader like supporting the team, boosting confidence, guiding team when they make mistakes, teaching them, were all missing from this person. T was a machine with no emotion and only clock working jerk. I have no idea how T cleared interview process, because one of the interview round is also about cultural fit into company. I know this because i take interviews for other domains. We have rejected lot of such well qualified but arrogant candidates.
So whats the problem now: this team of 4 are learning new tools and taking over the clients requests from old company. Most of the stuff is new for them. So in tat case people need lot of time to understand and figure out shit. people make mistakes while learning and you know have to deal with it. Person T abuses these 4 when something goes wrong. That's one.
Second, the T definitely knows more than these 4. So if these guys dont understand certain stuff they ask T. But T does not help them learn. T will either say busy or run away by saying thats simple and ull know when time comes. REALLY MF???
Third, T does not talk nice. T is rude and does not listen to team members. For eg, If F says some task cannot be done for some reason T will say, "y cant u do it? U r capable of doing it. Tats y u r in this job". And then point number one and two happens. Never responds to emails and messages. But if someone else does the same will not tolerate that and abuses them. List goes on.
So y not escalate and deal with that T:
This person F and other 3 are still under probation and they think complaint or escalation will back fire. These people do not want to lose job in between all this pandemic shit. They are scared.
So this was happening for a while. And i was giving lot of tips on how to handle certain situations. And how one should communicate these.
But being a gentle, soft and workoholic person, F focussed on work and assumed things will get in place as time goes by.
Today, F could not meet a requirement. So T told some shit which got F all sad. and F called up me late night and started crying explaining what happened. I felt real bad. I asked F to file harrassment case. F refused saying it was F's mistake on not completing requirement. WHO THE FK CARES. PEOPLE CANNOT TALK SHIT. I told ill file harrassment case against T. (We have a policy where others can also file if person is not courageous enough). But F did not allow me.
Then after calming down, I told F that telling the problems to me wont solve them. You have to talk to T directly and tell him on face not to talk like this. Or tell the manager about whats happening. Or tell the the HR about this. F said tat cant be done. I was like Y THE FK NOT.
Because the other 3 are not ready to talk about this to anyone as they fear they'll lose job. So if F talks and people question other 3 they might bail out. WAT THE HOLY SPIRIT.
so after lot of convincing F is still not going to
Talk to anyone about this.
So i have decided ill write an anonymous email to HR, the manager and other senior people in the organisation about whats happening.
I really dont know how itll go. Ill keep updating you guys. Feel free to share ur thoughts.3 -
Just started teaching my brother some programming. He is the type of guy that is always outside and almost never uses a computer.
So after teaching him a lot on dictionaries, ifs, etc. I ask him to make a dictionary app.
This is how he proceeds to name his variables:
var theOne = new Dictionary
var f***face = Console.ReadLine()
if (theOne.Contains(f***face)) {
var faffaf = Dictionary[f***face]
Console.Write(faffaf)
}
(Note this is simplified C#)
This is after I told him a few times that you should name your variables so others can understand what they are.5 -
Sooooo the computers at my university
printf("%f", 0.5);
Prints the biggest number a double can have, just... WHY!3 -
"Error: Program type already present"
So f--ing what? Ignore the doublon and MOVE ON WITH THE COMPILE, JAVA! -
I tried setting up an F* development environment on a Mac…
Yeah, that’s the rant. You can probably guess how it went…8 -
The thing I hate most about apple is if I were to write an app for iOS for my iPhone using friends I'd have to pay 100€ developer fee and buy a f***ing MacBook. F***ing dictatorial, freedom-hating, money-grabbing, piece of sh*t apple.5
-
Every time I read the abbreviation for Cold Fusion Markup Language, my brain translates it to this:
CFML -> C?! F*ck my life!! -
Anyone else's bosses constantly spies on you at work? it's f***** annoying. I know I am the only minority at the job, but goodness get off my back.
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First time posting. But I need an advice, I want to learn a programming language to get a better job. I have just the basics of C#, should I keep going with C# or go with F#? I heard a lot of good thing about F#. Thanks. You guys are awesome!6
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I know A.I can produce child in some way (ai can make another ai) But without f**k, the only job left for me is to become PornStar();1
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Was reading about FizzBuzz/Algo again and I guess the modulo run-time.
The most optimal solution I came across is like:
if (x % 15) FizzBuzz
else if (x % 3) Buzz
else if (x % 5) Fizz
else x
But then how long does % take? Should you care?
I was thinking it should use variables:
var f = x % 3 == 0
var b = x % 5 == 0
if (f && b) FizzBuzz
else if (f) Fizz
else if (b) Buzz
else x10 -
!dev
FUUUU*K, I lost my wallet today with a ton of important cards inside.. F**K F**K F**K FML
Note of the day: A wallet is as important as a smartphone is!5 -
I don't understand how you can have a webshop and live from it, and yet still don't know where to type in a web url.. How the f..
-
USE F🤬 GNU/LINUX!!! After, make technology really available (there’s cheap but functional options like ltsp). Teach the f🤬 bases of programming! Use open source softwares! How Internet works and privacy thing! Learn to read f🤬 terms of contract and privacy things, teach that ie is fucking shit and also, the most important thing! Use dark theme, don’t hurt others like I was!
And also, use vim -
Former co-founder is harassing me and threatening me with lawsuits.
Get the f** off my face you fucking scammer.
#rant3 -
If someone uses !important in the top css file with body, you have the right to falcon punch them in their f*cking face.2
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Oh my f**cking god! Bohemian Rhapsody is quite possibly the greatest movie ever made, at least the greatest biopic! Left the cinema with chills 😮😁2
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What the fuck! Sick of this shitty build system we have. Apparently once you have used it too many times the same way, a bug kicks in. So you rhn another of their shittty tools to "update" and now it says you have no buildtools. Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!! Fu&#! Fu&#! Fu&#! Fu&#! F f f fuuuuuuuuu&#!
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Just wondering if there are people that have the 'is it g-i-f or g-i-f' problem with 'g-i-t'.. 🤔
And greetings from Sibiu, visiting the tiny ICDD congress here.4 -
This app (https://f-droid.org/app/...) is bugging me for months. I have the feeling that one is possible and the others are just jokes.
4 -
It got so hot in the house today my grandmother's ceiling fan melted inside. It gets up to 350°F when it's spinning now and fucking SCREAMS.
Here are the charred-ass screws we pulled out.
7 -
F*cking Windows piece of shit.
I don't use windows, never.
I have it installed like a virus I installed on purpose to do certain things.
One of those things is updating my GPS device.
Well the piece of shit windows decided it was a good idea to restart while I was updating the GPS. Like in the middle of the update. Exactly when it says "Do not unplug your device or turn off your computer"
F*CKING PIECE OF SHIT.5 -
WHY THE F*CK CAN'T I DELETE FILES STARTING WITH A DOT USING FTP?
Guess these files will be there for ever...6 -
Ever since I got moved to a new team a few months ago, the number of times I've wanted to go "F U, I quit" has skyrocketed...
-
When you spend 3h trying to fix a procedure on MySQL and the problem was a f***** variable name. I felt so bad and sad :'(1
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I guess disappearing is a good thing.
backstory:
I’m in school and a “friend” (f) brings up some sort of religion.
Another sits there to watch. (b)
f: hey, b, are you religious?
b: yeah, why?
f: i’m not a fan of fictional books.
At this point, i’m already mad. thats the second time he’s brought up that joke today. its been told by him many times in the past. now its just annoying.
f: the real true religion is the spaghetti monster.
then f starts to try to convince b that that is the real religion. at this point i go to a friend to 1) make myself look busy and 2) have someone with sense to talk to.
DISCLAIMER: As long as you accept what/who someone believes, you are good. but the moment you diss religion without having their point of view, you’ve lost all my respect. Please look at both POV’s5 -
It's 2am and I uploaded to app store without updating the stupid plist.. I'm sure the build is going to get rejected.. F*******ck
-
I need cyclic data structures but algebraic data types are my first love and tying the knot is impossible with the eagerness F# has. The interfaces and classes I abandoned C# for are the ones I am now writing in F#. What a job well done on my part in avoiding mutability :(6
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My last commit:
git commit -m "This better f*ing work or I will make everyone's life a living hell tomorrow morning... btw, I fixed the ie 10 display bug." -
Please please stop asking me every time I present some new feature if this is something we can patent - I have no f*cking idea and you’re missing the point!2
-
Which one is IPv6 loop-back address ?
A. ::01
B. 127.0.0.1
C. ::1
D. ::10
E. I put a loop-back on your loop-back
F. None of the above16 -
I was pissed off beyond all reason yesterday when I realised that the reason my code didnt work for 2 days was because i spelled eForm with an uppercase F in my data model, and a lowercase f in my object classes. There was no way for the compiler to warn me so everything compiled fine but crashed at runtime when I tried to access that property. When I saw it, my head hit the desk....
-
Second Monday rant...
F%$@ YOU Visual Basic 6, your STOOOOOOOOPID SSTab control bullshit and the fact that I can't remove a tab by simply clicking a "Delete" button! -
I almost everytime these days start counting from zero in real life and f**k up the calculations and recalculate and do the same mistake. I hate programming.
Happy programmers day -
So basically.... you should make the implementation of this wireframe .... which may change in the nearest future but we don't know it yet, so better you start it anyway because it may even be the final one.
....
F***2 -
How the fuck do you escape single quotes in a formatted string in python? Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck F.....i want to break something
7 -
After hours of pulling hair & feeling like being f*cked up in the ass:
"Application ready! Build something amazing."2 -
Second phishing victim of the year.
F*ck our email service provider, the service sucks so much. The deny list DOESN'T EVEN WORK. I'm so fed up with this.4 -
Happy halloween!
My halloween schedule
1. Start 3 new game projects
2. Study f***ing C for the test in coming Saturday and Sunday
3. Study math for the test in coming Sunday
4. Play werewolf in codrTalk (hopefully)
5. Start my f***ing logo after a disasterous fail.2 -
I would hack the heck out of Roslyn Analyzers! Everything that could be f*ckin detected at compile-time _would_ be f*cking detected at compile-time. All those freaking config files usages, or attributes/reflection. Analyzers for everything, with sensible error messages! (Although I realize I that's overstretching the concept of unlimited time)
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Need to refactor the code base, and when looked at it, we don't have single UnitTest.... F*** them all1
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The moment you're asked to fixed someone's codes, then you see that the codes are totally messy and f**ked up
1 -
Me when I finally find the bug which me my app work in wrong way:
What the F*******, did I really write this? -
"f(n) is O(g(n)) if c and n0 f(n) <= cg(n) for all n > n0".
I have a couple of questions related to this equation.
1: why we use this equation?
2: which thing cg(n) is represented for?
3: what is the real-life example of this?10 -
Sometimes i would really like caches to be f*ck*d in the arse untill they refresh themselves out of self pity so i dont need to search for the f*ck*ng problem for an hour!!!2
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Almost 2022 , I am still confuse why the f### the company downgrade the project from elixir phoenix to nodejs to laravel php.6
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I hit a new low today, managed to blue screen my machine from eclipse..... How the f- did I manage that?!
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Me: "Ok, downloaded the (windows) iso, now I need to create a bootable usb"
* Pulls out 4Gb usb drive *
Father: "That iso won't fit on that one"
M: "Oh yeah right, do you have one for me"
F: "Sure"
* hands over 64Gb usb drive *
M: "thanks"
* Checks content *
* "Backups 15" directory and other old files *
"Guess I can use that"
* dds iso on usb drive *
dd: "done"
M: * Reboots *
Pc: "Nani the fuck is that supposed to be"
M: * searches online for solutions, tries out 2 different ones, one being provided by microsoft *
P: "lol no"
F: * comes in *
"Is it working?"
M: "Nah, windows a bitch"
F: "ok, can you copy me some files on the usb in the meantime?"
M: "Sure..."
{ How did he know that the drive is currently empty? }
* copies files onto stick *
F: * sees empty usb drive*
"Did you delete the contents on the usb?"
M: "Kinda, that happens when you create a bootable usb drive"
F: "..."
M: "Why do you ask, was the something important on the drive?"
F: "Idk, doesn't matter anyways now, since the contents are gone"
Btw, it still doesn't boot from the usb drive. Windows 10 iso is a bitch.7 -
XML and JSON endpoints while forcing Content-Type Text/Plain instead of allowing Web API to handle the serialisation. The f were these devs thinking.
8 -
The days were going fine, the projects were going good. I was a happy man, until I decided to F**** use F**cking moth****er VISUAL F*ing STUDIO to do my computer vision projects, F*k*ing cannot even compile Hello world programme.
F*** you Microsoft f**ing fuc**ERS.
Phew... good to have it out of system. So guys any other suggestions in place of visual studio ?8 -
So I wanted to do a quick test before going to dinner and now I'm stuck on waiting for this f*cking cloud provider to start my container.
"Provisioning 20 minutes" WHAT THE HELL!? After 20 (TWENTY) minutes my container still hasn't started!?
Is it a joke? Is some sysadmin spying on me and making me wait on purpose? What the f*1 -
man f*** ecom jobs. it's boring, the same shit all day. Nothing new. All they care about is how money they can work out of you.
-
Ok I don't know what ticks managers off about working from home.
I live an hour away from the office and my team (i.e. The whole company) consists of 3 people, INCLUDING ME. And we all work on different projects. So what's the point of even going to the small room with cubicles AKA the office? No, there aren't really any "learning from my colleagues" crap; we work on different stacks. Plus we're all juniors. Oh yeah, haven't I mentioned that? WE HAVE NO TEAM LEAD OR EVEN SENIORS. The CEO has a tech background and he communicates with us directly and discuss the requirements etc. BUT HE LIVES IN ANOTHER FUCKING CONTINENT. So, again, what's so bad about working from home in my case? My manager doesn't like it for some reason. -
So apparently, the next version of C# is gonna have list pattern matching more powerful than F#...
...so... my motivation to learn F# drops back down to curiosity, since C#'s list pattern matching seems to will have all I needed and wanted for my parser, as opposed to F# which seems to not have it...
also fuck Russia and China, but I don't want to think about the impending apocalypse, thankyouverymuch. -
One of the most satisfying feelings...
> Finally fixing a pain in the ass bug
> Cmd-f "print"
> Delete all print statements -
Friend of mine during workshops yesterday:
F: "Shit, my copying is broken (ctrl c shortcut)"
Me: "stack overflow down and/or broken copy/paste - worst nightmare"
F: "oh it works again... For a moment there i was afraid im gonna loose my job..."
* I guess the comedy of situation doesn't translate well to rant, but still, it was funny * -
npm XXXXXX -f
seems to be the only way to make it work... sadly :( Even though I have no idea what I am doing.4 -
funny how linkedin lunatics compare "not taking job due to multiple offers" to "not giving a job after giving a job offer"
this may seem similar, but on one side there's a company, with running operations and having multiple employees to take up on the work load of the leaving employee. even if some guy backed out on an offer, they still have employees and can continue their search.
but on other side their is an employee serving 60-90 days notice period. he/she have put a notice period due to a job guarantee and is out of livelihood if offer is rescinded3 -
I'm asked by a friend (writer)
F : dude, why you coder guys always show off ?
M: how
F : you guys compile just after writing few pages ..... Isn't it show off ?
M: yeah we do ...... to make sure the targeted users will not face any problem.....
F : that's the show off....... Have you seen any one publish a novel book with 2-6 page to make sure that targeted readers don't have any problems ......
...............
Hell ........ -
The mainland US is currently record-cold for overall, some states are as low as -70°F. 3/4 of US schools are closed. Except mine. It's -15°F here, coldest ever, and we're open. God forbid it flurries, though, then it's impossible to open the school!
My dad grew up in Alaska, so he thinks we're all pussies. Well... it's currently 37° in Anchorage, so it's warmer there than ANY mainland state!!! And we're all "pussies".
FML3 -
So-called 'Senior -level' don't even know how the Gradle and cocoapod works. Bro if you can't understand the basics, how the f are you the senior? How the f are you going to lead and guide the juniors?
oh my mother f**king god. smh
I said this as a senior. -
Just added a new alias to my .bash_aliases.
alias killstudio='pkill -f android'
What it does is kill all process with the name 'android' in them forcefully, like in android studio. -
isRant <- false
I finally got a tiny white dot displayed, using modern OpenGL, in F#, through OpenTK. There would be a picture, but picture compression made the dot invisible.1 -
which type of variable do you like using more than the other:
-Float
or
-double
Personally I like float more idk why... I just like adding the f at the end of the number xD (3.14f)1 -
One of the many good things about F# is that it seamlessly integrates with the .NET ecosystem, right? Very handy in an enterprise environment where in order to get anything done you have to use in-house nugets and tediously building a C# app for something you can do in about 30 LoC in F# just doesn't make sense...
... And then you run into the one fucking namespace in the whole ecosystem that just DOES. NOT. WORK. with F#. What the actual fuck M$?!
In all other cases Func<T',Task> in C# translates into T' -> Task in F#, but not here. "Oh, you're trying to give me Func<T',Task> -> Task? Can't do". Fuck that.9 -
Business: The feature is not as aspected.
Dev: This is what you asked for.
Business: I ask for something else.
Dev: Please refer to the documentation.
Business: F**k with document.
Dev: You only the documentation. -
F*ck you Laravel, just f*ck you.
just spent the whole night trying to make the router to work, reinstalled lamp over and over again, htaccess looks good, still getting internal errors. Why can't we just work with Node?5 -
I like Mr Robot, but is everyone getting the censored version where they remove every mention of the word fuck? It's all f-king removed in any *ing version I found.15
-
Why the f**k youtube keeps showing me TOTALLY WHITE youtube premium ad in my dark mode?
Do I need to buy premium just for this shit?7 -
F*ck you Microsoft for putting your useless browser over my IDE when i type "inte" in the quick access bar
-
Somethings I just want to throw my pc around the office because those f*cking unit tests that don't want to work😤🤬😡
-
when the code works: that's f**king easy
when the code doesn't work: what the f**k is going on, you dirty piece of sh*t, you f**king computer, sh**y compiler.
oh, dear! I missed a semicolon1 -
Confession: I keep applying to companies and research their roles to understand their stack architecture and to f** with the recruiters.2
-
if(
bathroomrenovation &&
startdate < now() - 4 weeks &&
!showerisfitted
){
do {
print ("Where the f**k is my f**king shower!");
} while (delay);
}10 -
I used to like Richard until he said he likes Emacs more than Vim. What the f**k mahn, Luke seriously?2
-
!!!rant
f**king cooperate d**ckheads this ppl are work-shipped like gods who just ask stupid questions just for name sake and they don't know what the heck is going on underneath...they use fancy words like cloud/docker/etc and they please top management d**kers and this guys are top in chain...f**king cooperate political word... _|__3 -
Hello, does anybody know a good templating library like Liquid for .NET?
The problem is that it has to work well with F# and immutable types.5 -
What is everyone's opinion on F-Droid? Just discovered it (though the site seems to be down at the time of writing this) and I want to see if it's as good as it sounds.2
-
Okay lets learn somethin new, maybe make a little game with a new language as a summer project, yeah thats a good idea.
First 3 hours: How the f*ck do you use this motherf*cking function put some god damn real examples you f*cking f*cks, Im sick of your hypothetical ass dripping guides.
Another 2 hours later: After an*l probing the f*ck out of the forums and some tries I finally can make this title flicker...
Wooooorth iiiiit8 -
Why the F is my console.log not printing to the console!?!?!?!......level left as "Errors only" #doh4
-
How should you override Equals in Java?
We have model classes with lots of fields and the we override the details equals to compare all the fields. I guess like doing a deep comparison.
And in all these classes SONAR is complaining about lots of ifs, complexity, etc.
And it's killing the analysis time... Old issue never fixed because whoever setup sonar was too incompetent to bother asking, researching, or fixing...
Is there a better way to override the equals to get the same result but without triggering SONAR issues?
Pretty sure this is a solved problem. And well if the top of my head, is just create a Util method that uses reflection like
Boolean equals( Object a, b, Class class)
foreach (String f: class, getFields()) {if !compare(class.getField(f,a),class.getField(f,b)) return false; }
return true5 -
!dev related (sorry, but have to vent):
Just watched Resident Evil Last Chapter and can't get over the fact that Wesker got killed by a f*cking DOOR like a f*cking b*tch 😠😠3 -
I've decided to try and learn F#, but when I search the job sites, it *always* comes up with 0 jobs. Has anyone worked anywhere that uses it?4
-
!rant
Guys! What the f? This guy got scolded this way because he apply leave to his own wedding! https://facebook.com/19661117407374...24 -
Count the fingers on both hands
if it comes 10 then f**k u
else if it is < 10 you are definitely a programmer.14 -
http://meetu.ps/e/DwDj0/y6XTG/f
If you're in Glasgow come join the Google developers group's first meetup! -
This conversation happened yesterday between me and a client:
"I need drivers for my Hackintosh build, macOS doesn't find and install the graphics card and the NIC"
I laughed at first, then i asked him his configuration..
"I have a 6700K and an MSI M3 H170"
Okay, things are getting worse here...
"So do you know the difference between H170 and Z170?"
"Yes, I have bought an H170 one because i do not overclock"
"Then, tell me why the f*ck you have bought a K processor if you do not f*cking overclock..."
"Because is more powerful"
F*ck no, he didn't said that... -
Deleted part of my build template for no good f-ing reason while trying to back it up -_- Of all the irony
-
If the project is the landscape of the client's requirements and the code is the map into it.
Where in the f*cking abyss am I right now?? #LegacyCodes1 -
Work prank i want to pull of....
We kind of did all of it🤗😂
Wanted to put a bull horn under my co workers table. We did actually do it and made a video of it.
Have never stopped crying from laughs🤗
If you can’t have fun then why bother!?!?1 -
F this code, definitely going to rewrite it.....cba, copy n paste from the last homepage n re-jigging again :-/
-
me asking python: is (0.1 + 0.2) == 0.3 ?
python: NO
me: wha.!!
python: Instead, it's 0.30000000000000004
me: what the actual F***!!13 -
This weekend I've spent 12 extra hours finishing a project for SharePoint. Gonna travel now to show the client the first version. Wish I could express how f***** I am.5
-
I've recently started learning to program mcu's in c and i'm trying to get spi to work using the attiny's usi-interface.
It's f*cking hard!4 -
Looking into some javascript. Which function should I use... guess I have to start the day refactoring. What the f*ck, is good naming so hard:
...
function removeColumn(column) {
selectedColumns.remove(column);
};
function columnRemove(column) {
appliedColumns.remove(column);
}; -
I'm working a site were the typography is set in "pt's" for desktop use! Not pixels, em's, or rem's - just pt's
Just what the actual f**k?4 -
```
f = FREEFILE
OPEN test.gfx FOR BINARY AS #f
```
QBasic:
"Type Mismatch: 'AS #f'"
this is literally 1:1 example code with the filename changed, wtf2 -
Wordpress is the most stupid thing to use. Yet alone their look of nested sides is the dumbest way to do.
landingpage
- vehicles
- - cars
- - - porsche
- - skateboards
F this shit! -
When I tuned angry birds with spotify and made the speed the beat of the song.
App didn't work out but who cares. Had so much f*cking fun building it. -
I really hate the hype with js frameworks. Every few months a new one appears F that F node.js and all the coffee es6 es5 bullshit. JavaScript should be like Latin. A dead language...3
-
Steam, f you because of your beautiful idea to expire gslts "on the fly" as soon as a server is not online for the glimpse of me taking a shit.2
-
Got a question on DBMS Normalization. I tried searching but couldn't clear my doubt. So I have a set of functional dependencies for relation R(C, D, E, F, P, R, S) :
F->D
D->F
E->C
P->RC
E->F
S->EFD
PR->EF
So I have to convert this to 3NF. My doubt is that when finding 2NF do we find all the non-prime attributes that are dependent on a particular partial key i.e. do we take it's closure and create new relations for each partial dependency? If we do that then there are overlapping attributes in the resultant relations in this case I found the relations in 2NF as :
R1(P, S)
R2(P, R, C, E, F)
R3(S, E, F, D, C)
But when I just used the FDs as they are given (no closure) I found :
R1(P, S)
R2(P, R, C)
R3(S, E, F, D)
Which one is correct, please help.3 -
I thought you had to be great in the computer fields before your friends started asking to make their idea games. Just happened to me this morning.
Friend: Hey let's make an MMORPG!
Me: Bro that would take years...
F: Hmmm... fine then just an RPG.
M: *in my head* cuz that really changes things, it's still an RPG...
M: Lemme hear your idea
F: *proceeds to describe Fallout /but better/
F: And I'm willing to learn game design an hour or two a day
Idk how to make him realize that it takes money, time and more than two people!! -
And one more.
When my senior ask me to rebase the PR, which I submitted f*n one month ago.
Where it was f*n important that time.
And your pull rebase ask you to fix the conflicts.
And you realize you need to reapply the changes again on top of the master.
And you have to run the FTs again.
Damn.... -
F@#^$$^#^&CK!
I accidentally deleted the rds instance of a microservice without final snapshoot.
No weekend to me :( -
Made a new site, added a contest to draw people in... People do the contest and never come back F#@K. They don't even hit a single other page on the site
-
why the fuck JavaScript uses === and == ?! it's f***** the same! like iPhone 6 and 6s.. its just the screen!10
-
Six hour of intensive training with Python. Every hour there is something so "WHAT THE F*** COME FROM THAT MAGNIFICENT S**T!?" in my head....
-
Just seen F# and really like it. Sadly its compiler throws all kinds of errors on Linux with Mono because for some stupid reason it uses the Mono 2.0 DLLs...
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