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Bf: what you doing?
Me: coding
Bf: do you ever stop working?!
Me: I'm not 'working', I'm doing my own project.
Bf: but you do that at work. Why do you want to keep doing it?
Me: it's fun?
--- a few days later ---
Bf: what you doing?
Me: reading.
Bf: omg you're not coding! What are you reading?
Me: a book about coding
Bf: *faceplam*15 -
So at school the teacher gave us a MONTH to write a sorting algorithm in Java. I asked the teacher if that wasn't a little too much time.
Her answer:" I want to give the weaker people in class a chance."
Okay so far so good.
The day we had to turn in our code I asked around what algorithm others had choosen and if they had any problems with it.
Classmate A: "yeah we didn't know how to program it so we copied it from the internet and I modified it heavily."
Me *raised eyebrows*: "can you show me?"
Me: "but that's exactly the same like the first Google result?!"
A:"No look there , I added this line so that it works with my code"
That lying bitch just added bucketSort(myArr, maxVal);
In the main method.
Me"How is that heavily modifying?"
A:"Also I asked the teacher and she said it was OK to copy the method from the internet"
What the flying cunt is wrong with people. So you give us a month to copy and paste from the internet.
Yeah great teaching.
You are the reason why half the class can't program shit.
Thanks for nothing. 😒😒
First rant hope you enjoyed it.12 -
Uber Driver: What do you do, Sir?
Me: I'm an Engineer. What about you?
Uber Driver: I'm a Uber Driver.
Me: :/7 -
Interviewer: Alright, so tell me what you like about software, but you don't have to limit it to software you can talk about hardware too. But yes what do you like about software?
Me:
6 -
Today I was searching Android docs and found something interesting:
To write Android log statements, you use the android.util.Log class with the following methods:
Log.v()
Log.d()
...
Log.wtf() 😮😮😮
According to Google it seems to mean "What a Terrible Failure".
WTF?!?!?!12 -
/* Daily sit down meeting */
What did you work on yesterday?
- Tea
What are you working on today?
- Tea
Any road blocks?
- *sips tea* ...nah no11 -
So what do you do for a living?
- I fix shit. While i do that, i break some other shit and then i fix that shit.2 -
The biggest problem with computers is that they do what you tell them to do.
Not what you want them to do.1 -
Rant && story time
When I was in first grade of high school (age of 15) we had a class of informatics. Nothing unusuall, you say, but this teacher was ummm ... Let's just say special. Most of his classes looked like this:
TEACHER: Ok, class, today we are going to learn/work with <insert a name of a software here>. # And then he sat behind his desk, falling silent for the rest of the lesson. We had to look up the software ourselves, and learn to use it. Or not.
Next lesson, he just said:
TEACHER: Continue your work from the last time.
And on the third lesson of each cycle, there was grading in place. He walked through the class and if he saw you working with the software, you got a 5 (that is A for our western friends), but if you were doing something completely different, you got a 1 (that is F). That just ment that you had to open the program and wave the mouse around while he was looking at your screen, and you got a guaranteed 5.
And then the cycle repeated.
However, this is not the story about the teacher in general, it's a story about one specific event involving him.
Around the beginning of the year (calendar one, not school one; that is middle of the school year) a programming competition took place.
The first stage (school competition), was easy; I got 45 points out of 50 (I was second-best on the whole school, of all years (students from 15 to 20 years of age).
A few weeks later, second stage (national competition) took place. However, when I got to the registration dosk, things got weird.
I patiently waited in line, but when I got to the front, the assistant asked me for year and school.
ME: I come from SCHOOL_NAME and go to first year.
ASSISTANT1: All students who go to SCHOOL_NAME need to go to that separate line.
It seemed strange, but I walked over anyhow. Maybe there was enough students from our school so that new line opened for us.
ME: I go to first year. # I assumed I don't have to tell the name as the line was only for our school.
ASSISTANT2: Ok, but you need to go to that row. *points to the row wherexI just came from* # WTF is going on now?
ME: Ummm, I just came from there, and they told me to come here.
ASSISTANH2: Oh, you go to SCHOOL_NAME?
ME: Yeah
ASSISTANT2: Ok then. What is your name? # Thank Knuth, one mistery less
ME: My name is SELF.NAME
After a short search through the envelopes:
ASSISTANT2: Here you go # Both the fact that my name was completely misspeled and the procedure it took us to finally get to the correct envelope are a story for a different time.
Skip forward some 10 minutes, to the lecture hall where they just told us all the instructions and started to divide us into classrooms
ASSISTANT3:
for CLASSROOM, STUDENT_LIST in STUDENT_DIVISION:
for STUDENT in STUDENT_LIST:
STUDENT.invite(CLASSROOM)
At the end, only a few people, including me, remained.
ASSISTANT3: Is there anyone not from SCHOOL_NAME? # Umm, yeah, WTF is going on now?
Noone replied.
ASSISTANT3: OK, you all, come with me now, we will find you a classroom.
From there on, competition went fine, I came in second, got a new phone as a prize, no complaints.
However, later on, I realized what was the reason for all that weird behaviour.
Signup date for the second part was on LAST_SIGNUP_DATE, which was at least two weeks before the competition, and signups had to be done untill 1600 that day.
Our teacher signed us up at 2200. ON THE FUCKING DAY BEFORE THE COMPETITION. OF COURSE THEY HAD NOTHING PLANNED FOR US, NO ENVELOPES, NO COMPUTERS, NOTHING, IF WE WERE SIGNED UP LESS THAN FUCKING 12 HOURS BEFORE THE COMPETITION INSTEAD OF 2 WEEKS EARLIER. THE ONLY REASON WE GOT TO COMPETE WAS BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE DIDN'T SHOW UP AND WE USED THE PC'S MENT FOR THEM. IF EVERYONE SHOWED UP WE FUCKING COULDN'T COMPETE.
And from that moment on, I always signed myself up for all of the competitions; better safe than sorry.2 -
When you start a project...
What you should think about :
- What does it do?
- How should I make it?
- What should I need?
What EVERY SINGLE OF YOU think about :
- What should I call it?
- Do I need a logo?
- Lemme sketch some design features. Maybe Material Design looks nice.
(lol)7 -
Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!
Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!
New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.
FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2 -
Non-dev boss: "so, what are you working on today?"
Me: "I'm working on the API"
Non-dev boss: "that's what you said last week! Why aren't you progressing?"
💢5 -
Took me a week to realize that "!rant" just means "not rant".
I thought it was some sort of post front-matter that was no longer supported by the app (like a Duck Duck Go "bang").
😅7 -
Today I found out my family does 'hard' shut downs to my home server by unplugging the power cord when I'm not home...5
-
So here I am... thinking to myself how does this kid not know about the shift key?
Me: "Ok we're going to test see if you have sudo access. Please enter your password, now"
Student: ~stares at the black terminal box and begins pressing the caps lock key. The light doesn't display~
Student: "Um... what? Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No"
Continues to click the caps-lock button and waiting for a light to appear on the keyboard. It doesn't. He continues clicking.
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "What???"
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "Um.. I don't understand"
Him: Presses shift button, nothing happens. Goes back to pressing caps lock button.
Me: "Your password has a capital letter in it right?"
Him: "Um... yeah."
Me: "Press the shift button to capitalize your letters."
Him: "I don't understand... Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No... you need to press and hold the shift key to get a capital letter"
Him: "................................ ............................................ . . . . . .. .. .. .. .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . ...................... . . . . . . . Oh..."
Him: "Presses and holds the shift button with his thumb and then presses the Z key."
Me: ~What in the hell are you doing?~ 🤦
Me: "Perfect it looks like you are a part of the sudoers list."
Me: "You can take you computer back."
Me: ~Do you fucking use the caps lock key to capitalize all the first letters in your sentences? Please tell me you don't!~13 -
So, my wife is in the hospital with two of the kids for an annual checkup. Should be nothing to worry about but still it's stressful and I want to be there.
I'd booked the day off (until the end of the week) and last week I got told, you've taken too many holidays, just the Friday is approved.
Ok, fine, I'll do some extra hours work from home and be there for the appointment. But fuck no, they schedule an "important" client meeting this morning and I'm required to attend.
TWO FUCKING HOURS and I contributed a sum total of 2 sentences which could have been filled in just as well by the other developer on the call
Just another reason I'm happy to be interviewing at other companies.6 -
I get serious anxiety when someone is doing something on a computer and I know that the way they are doing it is the slowest way possible.8
-
1: Man did you see the latest windows build fucked up design?
2: What are you mean?
1: I MEAN NOT ALIGNING REFRESH BUTTON ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU PRESS IT.
2: What??? Where???
5 -
In my current work, I have two systems to work on (let's name em Systems A and B). Both basically do the same thing; both allow users to book facilities available to them.
System A is already in production. My job is to fix any bugs that come up on said system. System B is an improved version that they wanted me to develop. This would follow a different framework etc. I am already halfway through this system.
Now, here's the fucked up part. The code for system A is a massive clusterfuck. It has unused commented code dated back to ancient times where men had the brain of an ape.
And don't get me started on the fucking logic. One part of the code was to retrieve and display the timeslots available for a chosen facility. The code to do that alone takes up 500++ fucking lines, filled with ajax commands, html manipulation and commented, unused codes..AND THAT'S JUST THE FRONTEND!
The fucking backend was not a problem of smelly code anymore. Nope. It was like a programmer had code diarrhea and shat his backend code all over the project. If I had a pin board, I would have made a crazy wall just to understand what some fucknut was trying to achieve.
Anyway, my supervisor told me to fix some bugs on System A. Knowing how the code was, I told her that I could refactor the code. Since I've already achieved that function on System B, with a shorter and cleaner code, I could just copy that and use on System A. But nope. She SPECIFICALLY told me to just "do whatever to fix the bugs. I don't want to waste time on System A." Okay. Makes sense to me. Whatever. I didn't wanna fuck my head up looking through that mess of a cesspool. So, I came up with a few hacks, not thinking of clean code and fixed whatever bugs there was. I then just pushed to the repo (after testing of course).
This bloody morning, supervisor came in and gave me more bugs to fix. When I thought she was done, she said "Hey. I saw the fix you made to the system. The bugs are fixed but the retrieval of the timeslots is now pretty slow. Could you see what is the problem?"
Slow.. She said that it was slow. And asked if I could fix it. I already told her what the problem was and she did not want me to waste time on it. But she wants me to fix it. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG IN HER BLOODY HEAD! I SWEAR TO GOD... UGHHHHH I swear I was already waterboarding her in my head. YOU WANT FAST?? How bout fucking allowing me to refactor the code?? Fucking shit head. I think I should take up yoga.1 -
How I explain what I do as job to non-techies (back-ender):
You won't ever see what I make on a screen but what you see on a screen, you see thanks to what I make.6 -
Why do you wake up tired?? Isn't that what you go to bed to fix?! What the fuck kind of bullshit is this?!13
-
The balls some managers must have to think that this is going to be an acceptable price.
I also find it hilarious that a $2 adblocker can fuck this in the ass.
18 -
Oh my fucking god... I am looking at this code written by a previous developer and he put the passwords in plain in an array in a PHP file, like WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING? (btw that's also how he checks the password, just check whether it's in the array)
c'mon pls14 -
I don't think I've EVER wanted to hit the insert key.
"You know what would be great?"
"What?"
"If typing erased what you've already done so you can't actually edit anything"
"Sounds pretty great"9 -
Hi Fellas !
I'm new here. I have no idea what makes you get so many ++ and what ++ can do for you.
I'm just feeling better here, it feels like im entering my soul's home!
Weekend is near, what project you gonna do ?
Have a great day !40 -
Right before lunch.
Manager: What are you working on?
Me: Explanation.
Right after lunch.
Manager: What are you working on?
..............3 -
*phone rings*
Me: "Hello".
Caller: "Hi, I'm just going to patch you in to this conference call."
Fucking hell.3 -
The weird feeling you get when you ask a colleague what he recommends as unit testing framework for C# and his first response is: "What do you mean by 'unit testing'?"11
-
Everytime I hear "there's a problem" in my office I cringe so bad I have the impression I'm making holes in my teeth.
I hate this "janitor" / "plumber" role I have here, so insulting in terms of brain power.
** randomly codes something **
** colleague breaks silence **
C: Phlisg? There's a problem.
Me: what now?
C: Well when I enter a title that is 500+ characters for my blog post, it breaks the layout.
Me: obviously the title is too long. Shorten it.
C: I can't because [reasons] (unfortunately true reasons)
Me: ** deep sigh ** yeah, will look at it... ** proceeds to hide anything longer than 10 characters **
C: perfect!
--- 3 days later
C: Phlisg? there's a problem.
Me: mh?
C: the text is too short, can you make it longer
Me: ** FFS ** guys, you should've asked for a "Word-type" website if you just wanted to do any kind of layout. No, can't, sorry. Choose either between broken layout or shortening your damn text.
-- 1hr later, pm comes in
PM: Text is too short
Me: Yep. Any longer will break everything visually
PM: can't you fix this?
Me: Yes I can, but it'll be a whole CSS revamp because it was not MEANT that texts should be so long.
PM: How many hours?
Me: ** overestimating ** 10 hours (2.2 days of work)
PM: nah, okay, just add it as a side project
** me, inside : WOW, WHAT A FUN PROJECT OMG **10 -
What irritates me the most, when non-developers ask me:
1. How many languages do you know?
2. You can't hack a fb account, what kind of CS graduate are you?3 -
Fuck WYSIWYG.
More like what you see is what you deserve for working at a company that uses Microsoft threeshittyfive.6 -
How many times, like a broken record, do I have to tell the managment team that the "what's new" text is 500 characters max for the google play store? How many times? Surely it's more than 5 times, since I've already told them 5 times! I'll report back in when it's 10 times, although by then I may have bashed my head against the wall so many times that I'll be dead, and finally freed from these clowns.6
-
Interviewing tip #2: If you're going to lie about what you do at your current job on your resume, remember what lies you put...10
-
When project managers copy and paste clients' vague requests word for word with no further explanation
2 -
What would you answer if your IT support asks: "What do you use to connect to MongoDB, Internet Explorer or Chrome?"8
-
**Ahem**
https://google.com/search/...
"Never assume that data useless to your application is useless to all others - we are asking it different questions"
Privacy is dead because we could disseminate valuable data from crap if our lives depended on it, discarding simple key values for over analysed crap metrics every time.
Oh, and it's also screwing us over... if your keen know more about getting fucked go take a look at @linux 's rant about the matrix.org hack
- https://devrant.com/rants/2061177/...
15 -
What music do you listen to when you code? Also, can you please recommend some. Music with minimal to no wording is what interests me. Any suggestions would be appreciated:)37
-
Pick his nose and well
You know what happened next..
Hey! You said what another dev did, not mandatory dev related! Exploited the question5 -
Finally finished the screwdriver followup ticket. I think.
I spent almost two full days (14 hours) on a seemingly simple bug on Friday, and then another four hours yesterday. Worse yet: I can’t test this locally due to how Apple notifications work, so I can only debug this on one particular server that lives outside of our VPN — which is ofc in high demand. And the servers are unreliable, often have incorrect configuration, missing data, random 504s, and ssh likes to disconnect. Especially while running setup scripts, hence the above. So it’s difficult to know if things are failing because there’s a bug or the server is just a piece of shit, or just doesn’t like you that day.
But the worst fucking part of all? The bug appeared different on Monday than it did on Friday. Like, significantly different.
On Friday, a particular event killed all notifications for all subsequent events thereafter, even unrelated ones, and nothing would cause them to work again. This had me diving through the bowels of several systems, scouring the application logs, replicating the issue across multiple devices, etc. I verified the exact same behavior several times over, and it made absolutely no sense. I wrote specs to verify the screwdriver code worked as expected, and it always did. But an integration test that used consumer-facing controller actions exhibited the behavior, so it wasn’t in my code.
On Monday while someone else was watching: That particular event killed all notifications but ONLY FOR RELATED EVENTS, AND THEY RESUMED AFTER ANOTHER EVENT. All other events and their notifications worked perfectly.
AKL;SJF;LSF
I think I fixed it — waiting on verification — and if it is indeed fixed, it was because two fucking push event records were treated as unique and silently failing to save, run callbacks, etc.
BUT THIS DOESN’T MATCH WHAT I VERIFIED MULTIPLE TIMES! ASDFJ;AKLSDF
I’m so fucking done with this bs.8 -
met a client yesterday to discuss about the coming task. After discussion, we agreed that I will develop the API for the system in one month. I did the planning and posted the upcoming tasks in Trello. Today, he told me some of the tasks have been done by his staff and asked me if I can continue the remaining tasks and get it done in one week. Hey, bro, what you want!? it is not what we agreed! do you think i can understand the code that your staff wrote, with poor documentation and structure, in few hours and immediately start working on it, yet deliver everything with high quality? come on...5
-
At what point can you say you are a programmer of a language? Is there an exact amount of lines of code carved in stone somewhere? I call myself a Python Programmer because even know I am self tought, I have been working with the language for years and I am very good with it. "Professional" level by some accounts, though I wouldn't go as far to say that myself. I have been working with Java a couple of weeks and it has been going very well, but I wouldn't call myself a Java programmer, but should I? At what point does one pass that line?
Idk.. Just a little shower thought for ya. What do you think?29 -
Dev: Writes "this feature will take some time..." (proceeds to list bullet points touching on the main modifications required)
Manager: Can you explain what you mean by "takes some time?"
Dev: ...
Manager: ...4 -
companies: "we can't find good help!"
also companies: "we don't answer applications promptly, don't understand our own requirements, don't want remote, don't..."4 -
With the brand new Microsoft C++ compiler, what you see in the debugger, is not always what you get...
8 -
What was your first language? What would you wish your first language was instead (if you didn't like it)?25
-
You dont allow backup codes on Indian mobile numbers? What the hell github? Sundar Pichai what you doing brother??
6 -
I finally got to updating my old laptop when I saw a post about Ubuntu 18.04 being released. What do you guys think of it?
8 -
Today, my manager complained that my productivity doesn't match that of a senior engineer. I pointed out that senior isn't in my job title. He told me he thought of me as a senior engineer. I didn't dispute that that matches the level of experience I have, but it's not in my job title.3
-
Relatives: what do you do?
Me: Software Engineer
Relatives: Can you please fix my printer!
Me: what ????5 -
Ideas for future weekly question:
- Where will you see yourself in 5 years?
- Do you automate tasks when developing and what kind of automation do you write yourself or use?
- What do you think about hooking up with someone from work?
- What are your thoughts about books in IT?
- How do you make your workplace comfortable?
- How would you change your company if you became the boss today?
- What are your thoughts about the future of computer input devices (kb & mice)?
- What are your prevention measures agains Skynet?
- When will HL3 be released?
- What's the solution to everything?6 -
Why are vegans & mac users so fucking annoying.
Eat what you like.
Use what you like.
Why tf you have to tell me what you eat & what you use is the only good thing in the world. Stop going 'how can you eat that?' & 'how can you use that?' Keep it to yourself 🔫😠6 -
My mum told me to, "get the sheets of the line."
I did as she asked, but later that night she came back and said, "where are the pillow cases?" -
Me: Do you know what *he / she* said?
You: No, what?
Me: Well if I fucking knew, would I be the one asking? -
Watching someone screw up their own website...
The one you did for them for free because you're good friends...
Who then kicks you to the curb and "unfriends" you IRL over some stupid misunderstanding...
Well, it's time to pop some popcorn, kick back, and watch that dumpster fire from afar. https://gph.is/2p6q53C6 -
Me: Hmm... My Android phone has been acting strange lately, cell signal keeps dropping... Maybe I picked up a virus... let's flash the latest update.
Phone: Updating Done
Me: Hm... signal is still bad... maybe it's hardware... *Angry*
Phone: By the way you lost root
Me: @#$%$&&$%^#$!#$@$%$#%^ OK LETS SEE, SUPERSU, REINSTALL THE BINARIES... YES!!!
Phone: Reinstalling... Restarting...
......................................................
......................................................
Me: it's not loading.... why? NO! I bricked it..... NO NO NO NO.....
*1 hour of flailing...*
Hey Recovery still works! OK, let's try to reflashing the OS
Phone: Flashing... Restarting...
Me: Please, please... let this work.... it's not starting............. wait. IT LOADED!!!! WOOT!!!! AWESOME...
Phone: still no root...
Me: Eh...
And there went my most of my evening which I was supposed to spend preparing for an interview tomorrow....6 -
.net 1.1 had the best documentation ever written. Microsoft spent an enormous amount of money and a dedicated team of skilled engineers just to write them. It was kind of a great time to be a developer, even though the technology is much better now. The current reliance on community docs doesn't hold up as well.2
-
Hello fellow devRanters, look what I found in our API constants on this fine day!
LIST_USERS: '/api/GetUsers',
USERS_WITH_QUERY:'/api/GetUsers?Query=',
MORE_USERS: '/api/GetUsers?Token=',
You get what you pay for, you get what you pay for, you get what you- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!7 -
What you'll be working on if they hire you vs what they say you'll be working on if they hire you.9
-
Another reason to love and support Open-source, is that you can be vocal about what you believe in, what you stand for, and what you support.
All without the fear of anyone or any criticism.
27 -
To the freelancers.
Do you offer web-hosting? What are your experiences? Where do you rent servers? What do you charge?
Thanks in advance5 -
What do you do for a living? I mean, since we're all in devRant, we are all programmers and developers here. But what do you specialise in and which language do you recommend for use in your field?17
-
'nother "teacher" story here.
Little background knowledge: I'm repeating the things he told us about at home and try to learn them by myself. I use the newest Visual studio and .NET framework version.
In school we have pretty old PC's and even older .NET framework. But let this insanity begin...
As normally i entered my classroom a little late (I have a dangerous habit of ignoring my alarms) and sat down on my chair. We were only 3 people including me at that moment so everything was pretty chill. I ask him what our task was and something along these lines occurred:
Me: what's our task?
Teacher: you remember your shopping list program? I want a textbox in it next to the listview and I want it to show every listview item
Me: that doesn't make sense
Teacher: yadda yadda just do it
Me: kaaaaay, anything else?
Teacher: actually yes! Please use inheritance.
Me: *baffeld* that doesn't make any sense at all. We have 5 different fruits; you tell me i should make a class per fruit!?
Teacher: yes of course! This is how professionals do it all the time. Please give them a distinct attribute, too.
Me: *angry* I'm. Not. Gonna. Do. This. This is total bullshit and also really bad coding style. I'm not going to teach myself something that doesn't make sense at all.
(Note: i know how inheritance works and he knows that too)
Teacher: You have to do it, you won't be prepared for final exams otherwise!
Me: leave my exam prep to me. I won't do this.
Teacher: *grumbles* fine
Later that very same lesson i got a .NET compatibility error. I couldn't work because I wasn't allowed to change anything on the installation nor to install a newer framework. So basically he told me I should've used 'sharpdevelopment' (which is not able to do windows Forms, but hey who cares) and this would not have happened. I was so furious at that moment i just took all my stuff, told him that I work 'from a place where i got decent software and space to think' and left the room.
Why did this person decide to become a programming teacher?7 -
Her: How do you make an app?
Me: Well, first you have to decide what language you want to use as the basis for coding it, or what system you want to start on ex: ios/Android
Her: What -
Python syntax is almost like KARMA! 😒😓
Karma is "what you do is what you get" while
Python syntax is "what you see is what you get"1 -
Client: we need a report that <unclear requirements>
Me: alright, here's what you requested.
Client: that's not what I asked for.
Inner me: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU ASKED FOR!! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK REEEEEEEEEEE!!!!3 -
Me: "Can you get the user to send us a recent crash dump?"
(Support person forwards my email)
User: "The most recent ones are from November"
Support person: "It seems they haven't had any this month"
Me: (?????!!) "Which November?"
The eventual crash dump was datestamped with today's date. -
Question: What do you mean that you have a bachelor in computer science from college? What do you mean college?
Answer by me: Are you fucking stupid or something???? Give a fucking code test and I will saw you what college means... Little piece of shit!!!! And next time when you are searching for PHP developer do not ask for site development with WordPress experience you fucking noob!!!!4 -
To all Linux-, Unix-, MacOS-Users here.
Stop whatever your doing,
Install Elvish-Shell,
Forget what what you wanted to do because you get distracted by this awesome piece of software,
Eventually continue what you were doing in a few hours.5 -
Anyone noticed new Facebook logo? Relatable to new iphone launch......
Someone changed RGB to CMYK.....
keep going.....
1 -
So you may have noticed that I'm making a way to create devRant Webhooks (see last rant), but now I need you help:
What Webhooks would/could you need?
What does it do?
What additional fields does it need (for example for specific tags)?
What data does it send?
Thanks in advance!14 -
Who the hell deploys PROD environments in a STAGING cluster.....?
Who the hell deploys PROD environments in a PROD cluster and (deliberately) configures them to use a STAGING environment's DB cluster....?
5 -
Thank you microsoft. You clearly got that right. If someone knows how to make passwords secure, it's you.
... Is this what you wanted to hear? Because it looks like you have no idea what you're doing.
1 -
Convo with me an my friend today (i purposefully left out my opinions and reactions):
Friend: i want to learn c#
Me: sounds good, but I'd go java if i were you
F: yeah but i want to do unity
M: sounds good, but I'd go with unreal engine if I were you
F: what language is unreal engine?
M: C++, but if you want to make apps, go with unity
F: yeah I want to make an android app
M: sounds good, but I'd try out renderscript if I were you
F: yeah I've used that before
M: oh really? What does it do?
F: I don't know
M: its for gpgpu because android game devs needed better performance
F: yeah I've used that
M: what does gpgpu stand for?
F: umm… i know what gpu stands for
M: okay dude, you didn't use it
F: yes I did, I made a cypher
M: dude, you didn't use it
F: yes I did!
M: what does gpgpu stand for?
F: *left*
*five minutes later*
M: *checks phone*
M: *sees text from friend*
Text from friend: dude it was general purpose gpu1 -
When a bunch of unit tests start failing locally because the AWS secret key got rotated.
oh wait...
THOSE AREN’T UNIT TESTS!!!
Unit tests do not depend on any external system, that includes AWS...
AAARRGHHHHH1 -
are there some graphic designers here? 😎
Do you code?
Did you learn some stuff here on devRant? What did you learn?
What do you design mostly?
How do you deal with programmers who don't obey your design specs because they're lazzy fucks? muhaha 😆
how do you think this profession will evolve in the next 10 years?
and you devs, what do you think of us? what are your experiences with designers? good and bad ones?8 -
Do you have the feeling sometimes that programming is not what you wanna do but that you just do it cause it’s the closest to what you really enjoy?6
-
Non technical Co-founder comes up with some batshit crazy idea and says it’s Agile because he thinks that means you’re not allowed to argue with it.
Dumb people are dumb.4 -
How am I supposed to take a look if I can't even close this damn notification? (The "okay" button is too low, also in portrait mode)
3 -
I really like how there is something new everyday that you can do to protect your privacy even more 😄3
-
What is the most sadistic thing you have done as a developer? What ways have you intentionally fucked up other people with your code/projects?4
-
!rant
I've always been wondering why do tech companies need everyone to have a strong grasp of algos and data structures?
I've been coding most of my life but didn't get a CS degree so ended up in IT but I kind of want to get into a tech company as my thinking is the quality of code much higher (I spend a lot of time cleaning up other people's code and prod issues over the years...), I've been learning Algo/DS but when I see those technical questions on CareerCup, I go WTF.... it's this the kind of problems you guys do every day?6 -
When you're programming teacher manages to make the lessons so boring and long winded that every student with the slightest interest in programming loses it 😰3
-
UI bug is found to only occur in Firefox.
Director sends mass email telling dev & qa to only test using IE11. -
On the most serious of notes, and i need yall to think hard about this.
What makes you a good developer whether Backend or Frontend or Web or mobile.
What qualities actually make you a good developer?
I mean, we all use google, github, stack overflow etc. So what makes Programmer A better than Programmer B.
and in a more practical sense, ive been coding for two years now and i have deployed an API written in node and an instagram automation tool in PHP (which is down now due to lack of funds), i lack frontend knowldge (but i want to make up for that) and i have projects that when i finish, with my connections can and will blow up in terms of income. now you on the other hand, what makes you better than me?
and lastly, how much code do you have to change from an existing project, lets say from github for you to comfortably say, yes this is mine.8 -
Don't know if already asked but, what brought you to programming /your work area. Do you like it? Was what you expected?
-
Knowing what happens behind the scenes. It's amazing what you can find once you dig deep into someone's library that you're using.
-
I'm actually excited for this school year, since now I'm taking my programming class. (I'm taking HTML, CSS and JavaScript)7
-
Either a very tired dev or a really really critical bug fix whose details cannot be revealed
I'll choose the first
2 -
If people would change their name in real life like here on devRant I would be maximally irritated!!1
-
Well this explains why I'm a programmer...
First off, what do you love doing? Secondly, what are you good at? Thirdly, what does the world need? Lastly, what can you be paid for? Think of your answers as a Venn diagram; you’ll find your ikigai where all four circles overlap.
1 -
BA: "Can you design a page for this?"
me (not a designer): "Um, sure, no problem."
Fast forward two days, show the page for approval.
PM: "Hey, can we do it as a pop-up instead?"
:| -
what music do you like to listen to when you're coding (or working in general)? what gets you into the zone?22
-
1. What paid software do you have installed in your PC [that you are actually paying for]?
2. What paid cracked software do you have installed in your PC [that you should be paying for, but aren't]?
And what are the prices?17 -
What?! I mean what the fuck?! How it become sooo late? Why is devrant eating all my time? Fuck you devRant! I fuck you too!
-
Client: "I've started as a software developer too" *chuckling* "so I understand EXACTLY what you say... But could you just explain me what do you mean with 'legacy code' ?"
Me: :|2 -
Trying to work out an encoding bug after upload, I ask them to send me the original version of the file that is currently uploaded. I look at the files and they seem strangely similar, but strangely different.
I reply to them, "To confirm, this is the version you uploaded?"
"Nope." -
What you sexy bright smart mastermind memelords do day to day in your job? What projects you working on and what is you part in it? I am really curious what your typing looks like after you go home.1
-
Hey guys ! I'm currently working on a project to implement a simplest version of TinyDB on Z1 motes 😀
And you, what project are you currently working on ? 🤓11 -
Everybody:
- what do you use InternetExplorer/Edge for?
- to download Firefox/Chrome
Me
- what do you use InternetExplorer/Edge for?
- to download LinuxMint iso1 -
if((fabs(a - 0.0) > 0.00001) ||
(fabs(b - 0.0) > 0.00001) ||
(fabs(c - 0.0) > 0.00001))
What have you seen dear traveller? What have you seen?2 -
Trying to figure out why your code won't work after you fixed it, only to find that the offshore team completely fucked everything back up again 😵3
-
Follow up to this:
https://devrant.com/rants/6403741/
So we had today a meeting....
To restart the project, as the current state is garbage.
Turns out the whole team has after two weeks of being left alone with it - kinda like the rant says - zero clue how lucene works, what it does, what its for.
In case anyone of you wonders why some managers are micromanaging biatches, there you have it.
The whole meeting had more "oooh"... "ehm".... "eh"... and other fillwords just to cover the shame of not having any clue at all.
I'm really disappointed that a team of up to 5 people really thought they could pull a stunt of "fake it till you make it". Collectively. Really noone had a real clue.
Now to an interesting discussion: How would you devs reprimand them?
:)
Just curious. Firing is out of option, for several reasons, e.g. law.
Serious answers, I would be really curious. :)
I'm feeling sad for the socks metaphoric in the last rant btw.
Even a cum socket deserves more dignity than them imho.6 -
Guys, what is the worst thing that could happen if you don't take measurements against big tech companies spying about what you are doing?13
-
Any devs who produce music as well? (Either as a profession or as a hobby)
If you do, what genre of music do you produce? And what DAW do you use? (optional)10 -
Junior front end developer.
Interest in saas, js and jQuery,
1 year html5 and JavaScript, knowledge of image authoring (Photoshop)
Job is wordpress customisation.
18k... Degree in media required.
So you want a graphic designer for junior developer wage.. lol. -
No matter what you believe or what you don't believe in. Or what you look like, I hope my you all are doing well financially.
Financial stability and financial freedom are the corner stone of all freedoms.
Wish you health, wealth and happiness.2 -
Who uses a database server at home, which one, what do you store on them/do with it and what do you with the data?5
-
Actual question: Tell me which project management software you use and what you hate about it. What do you like about it, if anything?15
-
Relative: What degree did you finish?
Me: Computer Engineering
Relative: So what do you do?
Me: I currently venture into software dev, networks, and firmware.
Relative: ..... Ah (Doesn't know what the heck I'm talking about) -
As a senior dev, what do you consider important? What makes you a successful (or unsucessful) sr. developer, mentor, and manager.5
-
Guys guys guys,
I'm looking to work in Australia,
Should I find a job then get a work visa, or get the visa, get into Australia, then look for a job.
Advice pleases12 -
Ok I can imagine that being premium uses more ram cuz the offline content won't be handled magically.
But still... I don't like how it looks like 🤣
1 -
Any project which you join in middle not knowing what its all about. Who did what, and now you are suddenly part of it.1
-
Let me run something by all of you. Let's say you once started freelancing as a "Plan B" in case your full-time gig dropped you. Over 12 years you've managed to build a long-standing personal brand around that occasional freelancing. You have several clients who adore you and the work you do and they tell you they would be lost without your talent and have nowhere else to go and nobody else they trust. You know, because in the past you tried to send them elsewhere (for various reasons) and they just kept coming back.
You get laid off from the full-time gig and ACME Company calls and interviews you as a top candidate they're really interested in for that same type of work for a full-time job they're offering.
Here's the catch...if hired, you have two months to basically erase your personal brand and agree never to do any freelancing work as before, even on your own time on evenings and weekends. ACME wants your full focus and attention. Additionally, you find out that the person you'd be replacing is being let go because they weren't sufficiently tech-skilled for the job. And, with a little digging, you find out that person _also_ had several freelancing gigs going on the side. Probably for the same "Plan B" reason. Which is probably why ACME is demanding exclusivity.
Your client base is small. ACME says "we don't care". The work you do is 90% automated and easily achievable in just minutes a day on a weekend or evening. ACME says "doesn't matter". You already had full-time work to begin with so you weren't doing a ton on the side. ACME couldn't be less interested in this "excuse". And you're not keen on the idea of burning down your brand, especially with no guarantees of any kind in the present IT industry hiring/firing/layoffs climate. ACME says this issue is make or break for them.
If you get to the offer stage do you:
a) Flip the bird to your brand and clients you've built up for over a decade and memory-hole it?
b) Negotiate a non-compete clause with ACME, agreeing not to take on any new clients while working full time for them?
c) Flip the bird to ACME and look for something else?
Asking for a friend. ;)16 -
What do you think?
How will the work of the future look like?
what will be better?
What will be worse?
How would you like to work?1 -
You know what sucks?
APIs with the latest data, but without the latest endpoints.
What the fuck? You did the data, why not the endpoint??1 -
So I was at my second meeting about a project I just joined as a volunteer. There's two teachers, me (1st semester CS), a guy almost graduating and a guy in the second semester. In the first meeting the teachers explained what the project's about and what we need to do. Me, wanting to show that I'm good hoping I'd get offered a paid position in the future, got to the second meeting with some stuff already done in Rust. Teachers mistook me for the 2nd semester student (which, by the way, thinks everything server-side is done in node.js) and told him it was a very good job "he" had done with the rust program. The fucker didn't say shit and just took all credit for what I did.
Later that day I sent an email to everyone with the repo link to make sure they knew I was the one that wrote the program and a month or two down the road I made some pretty awesome work while the other two just sat on their asses, so I think they know it was me.
Nonetheless, I got pretty pissed about that and kinda regret not saying anything at the meeting. I do think I kinda made the right choice of keeping quiet, trying to show team loyalty (?) or something like that.
Should I have done it differently? Would you say something at the meeting if it was you?5 -
Using a web grid which has functionality like filtering, sorting etc but each of it uses a postback. There is no way to enable client side filtering unless you do it yourself using JavaScript and the best part is the same company has another grid which has the option of both client side and server side filtering just by setting a flag but this grid only runs in .net 4 framework.
-
I hate developers that don’t apply logic to non programming concepts. Like when someone declares what they don’t want instead of what they want. For my sake just say what you want to see.
I’m thinking of an animal. Guess what it it is not. Congrats you probably won.
I’m thinking of an animal. Guess what it is. Sorry you probably got it wrong. -
Wonder what tomorrow will bring?
Monday I fuck up by duplicatung some emails.
Today my colleague accidentally sent emails in our test system out which in turn reduplicated the same emails I sent.
My boss is going to love it when he's back in. -
Someone messed up big time at Blizzard. This is the second accident for the new Hearthstone expansion launch...
-
Opinions please.
I want to share a small model in my iOS app. Now on android I'd do with with ViewModelProviders, but on iOS I'm going with SharedDataContainer which is basically a singleton class that store key value data.
Is there any better approach? Data will not be bigger than 10 list items with guid (key) and int (value)
However; when I have big data I do cache on disk or hello OOM exceptions (or whatever they call that bitch on iOS) -
Just a random quote I found today.
I am not what I think I am.
I am not what you think I am.
I am what I think you think I am.5 -
Being useful with what you do.
Do what you enjoy (rolling tables?).
Work somewhere, where the company cares about you. -
what do you guys think of that 10,000 ppi screen?
what would you build with it if you had the time and resources?11 -
What are your resolutions for 2021? What mistakes do you promise to not make any more and what mistakes are you yet to make? What wrongs are you to right next year?6
-
I've seen a lot of web developers in devrant (including myself) and I'm interested in other peoples work...so, can you answer this quick poll?
- What language(s) do you use for work?
- What language(s) do you know?
- What languages would you like to try and why?
- Where are you from?
Thanks ranters <310 -
!rant
What actions do you take to protect your privacy while browsing/working? What browser/browser extensions/other stuff do you use?4 -
Am I the only one who wants to be able to write functions in a human readable way, allowing for parameter in-between the words?
Instead of defining:
const enforceStringEndsWithChar(string: string, char: string) => {...}
I want to define it as:
const enforce(str: string)EndsWith(char: string) => {...}
.
.
.
I'll see myself out.6 -
What if one day you wake up and surprisingly you find new feature by Github called Github stories.
What would it be....
Go ahead improvise.5 -
Given the number of people on here who say "I'm learning" or "I want to learn", I saw this and thought I'd post it. Sorry if a repost or advertising or otherwise not really acceptable, but might be of use to someone.
https://deals.gdgt.com/sales/...1 -
@dfox @trogus
What is the tech stack used to build this...
To my best knowledge, you guys are using DigitalOcean and Shopify, what else do you use?
What is the language, server is based on?2 -
Doing some SendGrid integration with suppressions via their API. I changed around a bit of my own code today because what I had before wasn't working well. Something I didn't touch suddenly stopped working. The response body from their one API endpoint no longer matches what their docs say and I swear it did yesterday. So I've been swearing thinking I broke something for the last four hours.4
-
What % increase to your salary would you expect for a promotion? What about if you left for another job somewhere else?
For what it's worth, speaking about a Junior dev in the US.5 -
What would you do if you reborn?
give me some advice
what should i do in my life to be happy in older ages?16 -
When someone truncates several tables and removes their column indices in DEV so my quick two line change testing goes from taking 30 minutes to 3 days while I restore all 200 million rows and re-index all the columns. 🙄
-
Dear devs, what gadgets do you often use that help your daily programming?
Even if you only have m+k, what do you prefer?7 -
..that time when you close the wrong window, because the computer *still* hasnt learnt what window on what monitor you were looking at, when you hit that shortcut
-
what do you listen and using what kind of services while programming? Share your playlist if you got one7
-
If you have a template of what you're expecting me to make, don't bullshit around for 2 weeks explaining what you think you want. Just give me the template and I'll make what you actually want.
-
In your coding daily routine, what is the action you repeat most often, and what ideas do you have to automate it?
3 -
Would you want to create your own programming language?
If yes, what would you call it and what would it be used for?15 -
I know you think you understand what I said , but what you don't understand is what I said is not what i mean😵😵😵😵1
-
- C-Suite: What the fuck this is not at all what I needed!! My whole company is on collision course with a liquidity crisis. You fucking idiot what did you do I’m so stressed oh noo
- This twat: I don’t ask questions to not stress you out
3 -
No matter what right thing you did, what right cause you fought, in the end, you will always have to lose..you will always be the bad guy.
-
Does your company have a dress code? What do you wear for an average day?
And if you're a student, what do you wear normally?29 -
!rant
If you had to build an event based analytics system what database would you prefer? I was thinking mongodb. What would you use and why?2 -
What are your plans for the weekend, and if you weren't doing what you're doing now, what else do you think you'd be doing for work?
https://devrant.com/rants/105964531 -
I've had an idea for a possible PR. Filtering out certain categories. I don't really want to see any joke/meme rants anymore, and filtering out other types may be helpful.2
-
I do it pretty regularly maybe once or twice a week depends when I'm working on something interesting and want to get it done. Not very hard when you have coffee, headphones, good music, and enjoy what you do.
As for a story i don't have much of one unless you want one about implementing jwt tokens with a rest api along with trying to implement an 2FA system that would support otp and u2f. Then nuking it from orbit two days later cause it looked like garbage from trying to abstract everything -
What did you do with extra time due to Corona virus and what recommendations do you have for a cs undergraduate considering the situation?4
-
Humans only live for eighty years (average).
What percentage are you the way through yours?
You must be knackered 🧓9 -
Imagine you just started learning to coding how would you learn ......
What will you learn......
What are the advise you'll give yourself......6 -
Any c++ embedded system programmers here.what kind of work do you do ,what are your daily tasks etc.and what boards do you use
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