Ran into a girl who I had a crush on in high school at a bar last week. Hanged out for a bit, but then I had to run catch the last train home.

Today I get a message from her that reads: "Hey, it was nice to meet you last week. Can I call you some time, there's something I want to tell you. 😉"

I think to myself -- sweet and say that I have no meetings today, call me whenever you can.

A couple of minutes later she calls me, and the first thing she says: "I have this app idea..."

fuck, shouldn't have hyped myself up.

So this guy passed large objects as function arguments directly instead of referencing. What a jackass. So the program was slow as fuck AND taking up too much memory.

So yeah, I'm basically ranting about myself.

Guess I'mma go fuck myself :)

"You need a website, why not do it yourself?"
NO FUCK YOU WIX. I HAVE DONE IT MYSELF AND I BET YOU USE WEEBLYS WEBSITE BUILDER FOR YOUR OWN FUCKING HOME PAGE. YOU KNOW WHAT, I WILL DO IT MYSELF.

*opens code.org*

This actually happend in my secondary school class. A new guy came to our class. The whole family moved from another city.
*new guy want to start conversation with me*
new guy: "So you into computers and stuff like that?"
me: "Yes" *seems like a cool guy , want to develop the conversation further* "what about you man? do you like computers? do yo program or smth?"
*new guy wants to look cool in front of me*
new guy: " Yeah dude, actually I am hacker"
*me saying to myself, oh fuck not again this shit*
he continues with: " Once I got into the NASA system"
*switches mode to making fun of him*
me: "what the fuck man? really? that´s freaking cool, how you manage to do that? "
new guy: " you know the thing when you press F10 when starting a comupter? "
me: "You mean BIOS?"
new guy : "yeah yeah man through that shit"
* I am done, laughing my ass off and walks away*

Reinstalled my dedicated server and realized (afterwards) that I just erased my entire openvpn/mysql auth setup and I don't have an entirely working copy.

FUCK.

Okay, nothing I can do about that afterwards, setup csf right away, monitored the auth log for a minute and noticed one ip which had just connected and found it weird somehow. Blocked the ip.

Then, one second later, as my console stopped responding and that ip address suddenly looked veeeery familiar, I realized I just blocked myself. (the blocks persist across reboots)

😐

Went to the control panel and hit the reinstall button. Confirmed, and two seconds later I realized I could just have connected to any of my own fucking vpn services to unblock myself.

What in the living fuck is wrong with me @_@

So I got an answer on Stack overflow

Answerer basically said "finding the error is tedious so I re-wrote your code"

They changed about 15 lines in their answer. I combed over it and found that I needed just one.

I put an answer myself, saying which line was missing (as the other answer didn't highlight the actual solution, and rather re-implemented my code)

My clear, concise answer was deleted by moderator for "Not adding anything new" (Except what the exact answer was to my problem, I guess)

Not my fucking problem. Make your own Q&A site harder to use, as if I give a fuck.

Gave a talk in front of 150 people today. For first 5 seconds my brain was like wtf, fml
Managed to not shit myself for next 30 mins
Fuck! Should stay introvert

Friend: So you're like a Developer right? Specifically using JavaScript?

Me: I mean...kinda? Pretty Noobish still...

Friend: But you could like show a buddy of mine some basics right?

Me (thinking to myself...the best way to test your knowledge is to teach it...): well...sure...

Friend: Great here is their info!

*Drives an hour away*
*sits down with this friend of a friend*
*busts out laptop*

Friend of friend: So how long have you been a Java Developer?

Me: -_- oh fuck...

*head desk*

My Boss: Let's do single page web but we wont use any framework.

And yes, how fuck I ended up myself with almost half 10k of lines.

Me (to friend): So all your information these days is stored in the cloud.

Friend: Yeah I know that's crazy, huh!?

Me: Yeah!

Friend: I wonder if there's any disruption of the data when planes fly through.

Me: What do you mean?

Friend: Like when a cloud breaks when a plane move through it since we store our data in the precipitation layer. Nikola Tesla would be so proud.

Me: Uh... The fuck?

Me (thinking to myself): maybe he's just joking...

Every second I’m spending on this iPhone is getting me more annoyed.

I’m about to fucking compromise and get a non-lineage phone but At least a rootable one because I want or throw this piece of shit away as soon as possible.

I wouldn’t even pay 1 euro for an iOS device.

I told myself I’d go for an iPhone for a month or so but I’ll be looking for an extremely cheap android phone because I can’t bare working with this thing for much longer.

No offense to anyone and this is a personal opinion.

Fuck.

!dev but fuck it.

Why do I al-fucking-ways try to stay nice to everyone? I don't want to 'hurt' anyone.

I fucking hate that about myself. 😡

My lead developer left on vacation for a week. Without notice to my boss and/or myself.

Well to be fair we did have the minimum which is a 2 day notice....

So what did we do? Well the boss and I acted like absolute adults and did what any other adult would do.

Me sticky noted the fuck out of his desk and screens.

4 screens full of sticky notes.

Phone is full of sticky notes too. And geez man....everything is sticky notes....so...many....sitcky...notes

You just came in today, being new in your position. I've been with the company for around 5 years, and you're the new guy. Look, I absolutely respect your skills. You're not a newbie coming out of uni, ok? You're a skilled sysadmin. But you asking me "what is your college?" and after me telling you I majored in linguistics, your answer "huh, that's why" and explaining why I'm wrong in my programming practices (which are taken from the Apache foundation) is utterly bullshit. Fuck off!

1) The fact that you have a BS in CS doesn't mean you know the best. I've worked as a programmer for some time. You were never paid to write a line of code.

2) Even if you were absolutely, positively, non-questionably right, you have no right to be condescending.

So, can you just shove your degree far up your ass? Because my friend, you're uppity as fuck just because you spent 4 years in college learning theory that you never applied in real world. I spent years learning my programming skills alone, after 9 to 5 work, during the evenings and fucking weekends. I don't need to prove myself to you, you fuckity fuck, I have proven myself to our employer over the last five fucking years.

Fuuuuuuuck!

I fucking hate python and myself even more. Python is easy they say, Python has nice syntax but fuck you . Fuck you seriously I cringe if I see non-c-like syntax. Every time I leave my comfort zone I get fucked over by damn semicolons. Fuck this imports i don't know your damn library. But god damn In far too advanced for hello world. There are two versions and the lib I want to use is incompatible? Well fuck me? That kind of shit never hit me on PHP. Damn me! Fuck you python. I want to know you but you fuck me harder than life. GEHÖRT? DU FICKST MICH HÄRTE ALS DAS LEBEN DU HURENSOHN!!!!

What is even your problem? Indentation? Well thank you for not having braces! I mean come on I try, I really do. I know you are different but every thing I want to learn about you is either for uber beginners or so advanced I don't even know what's going on. Do magical shit in a few lines? What the fuck is in those packages? A wizard full filling whishes like "plz make this work"?

But don't worry you cum snorting unicorn as much as I hate you I'm more mad about me for not being a descendant of fucking slytherin!

Tag: !rant, but story

I FUCKING GOT THE JOB!

Just woke up to a call from the HR that they are choosing me and that they would like to send the contract papers to me.

I am going to pick the papers up myself in a few hours instead.

No person at this moment is happier than me right now!

Finally, dude... I have been hunting for months.

This call was totally unexpected since the interview was already 2 months ago and lasted between 5-10 minutes.

This is also my favorite company among all companies I applied to.

Fuck YWAH!

I hope my boss dies tonight. I will fuck his wife and fill his grave with soil myself.

I hate it when people from other "cool" departments come in to our office and call us "too quiet", "unsociable" ,"not fun"..

They need to stop for a second and realize how we got to being programmers...

Personally, I went through all the possible professions and asked myself.." which job requires the least amount of human interaction?"

SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET YOUR HIPSTER FACE THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

Today was hell on earth as for user support. Phone going non stop, tickets coming in faster than we were able to process.

At the end of the day I had to make a symlink for a customer which is fine. But, the day was so busy that I just couldn't focus anymore.
I've made 1K+ symlinks in my life probably but I couldn't remember if the source or destination comes first with a symlink.... The day has been hell and I just couldn't bring up a single second of focus anymore..

Fuck it, I'll do it tomorrow. I know I can do this but I don't trust myself with this right now in case of a huge webshop (swap the source/destination: webshop gone).

I think I'll thank myself for this tomorrow.

Even the big guys fuck up at times and it is ok.

Sometimes I put unnecessary pressure on myself when I fuckup simple tasks. But when I see the big guys fuck up too, it kind of makes me realise that it is ok to fuck up at times. That is the only way to learn.

*trying to convince a non-tech friend to switch on linux*
- Will I need to write drivers myself?
- Only when your wifi card manufacturer doesn't give a fuck.

The problem with my life is acceptance from others. Validation (almost wrote vladiation).

For instance, I finished my course in Advanced Java Programming a few days ago. Supposed to be a year course or some shit, finished it in two months. They told me I don't need to go to the remainder classes and I could write the examination. Got the certifications, passed with flying colours.
Well done me? No, fuck you me. "It's not through Oracle, so it's completely useless. Har har you wasted your measly salary on a course and it means nothing". You know what? Fuck you and fuck validation. I will validate myself from now on.

Anywhom, what a start to a shitty rant. Let's go over some generic points so I can finally make my avatar.

IE can suck a duck ("oooh you made it and it runs fine in every fucking browser except fucking IE - slow clap).

Chrome RAM usage can suck a duck, two times. (just generic post, don't actually give a shit - I use Firefox).

People who can't use one fucking indentation standard ("oooh two spaces, oooh three spaces, oooooh a fucking tab button... " etc) can fuck off.

That fucker who came and converted my buildings in Age of Empires with the "wolololo" priest can fuck off too.

Been reading through devRant and you know what? You guys are pretty cool

I didnt make my root partition big enough fuuuuuuuuck

Stupid fucking tutorial said "10GB should be enough!"

Should have listened to myself. Fuck me.

!dev

Dear Airbnb Hosts,

The extra cleaning fee isn't just extra profit for you. I will gladly pick up after myself, before I leave. That said, if you expect me to deep clean your flat, consider leaving equipment to do so. If you send me a shitty email because I didn't buy a broom, mop, bucket and kitchen rags to stock your investment property, I'll tell you about where you can stick that noise.

Sincerely,
Fuck you

Today I told my lead developer that I liked star wars episode 8.

I got grilled pretty hard.

Like, I can drop a db and the motherfucker ain't gon give a fuck. But God forbid a mofocka likes episode 8.

That is a big no no to him.

Manager had told me that I should keep that opinion of the movie to myself.

Lesson learned.

Just discovered that we are loading 200k for a custom font on one of our platforms...

200k FOR A FUCKING FONT?!? FOR REAL??? ITS NOT EVEN FUCKING DIFFERENT ON SIGHT!

So I sarcastically asked why the fuck are we using it and my coworker said its because the designer designed (duh) the layout this way...

Look... Usually I'm a quiet person and I don't rant in real life but this time I could not restrain myself.

My first rant, so pls don't blame me?. 🙈. No just kidding, but now the Story. A friend told me that he want to start hacking. But I know that he can't prog or use a PC. But I asked: "Can u program?" He: Yeah, of course!?". *Me wondering as fuck* Me: Where do u learned that?" He: "Watched YouTube Videos!" Me: "OK?, and what language du u want to use, and IDE?" He answered: "Language Arduino, and IDE what is that?". *Me facepalming and asking myself what dafuq was he watching and why is he trying to do things like that*

Downloading all kinds of icons for a project from this website and kept having the feeling that I was missing something.

Everything finally downloaded aaaaaaand I’m realizing I had to download them in three colors instead of black.

Well I guess I’ll just go fuck myself 😑

"doEs AnYOnE HAVE IssUeS wiTh gETTing gIrl beCoz CodIng"

lmao what a fucking dweeb. What a loser really. How about we don't make a fucking job something akin to a personality trait?

were I single, would I sell myself as a "cODER" to a girl? fuck no, do some of you nerds really introduce yourself in such way? is this bs ass job your end all be all? aye, this be the easiest way to poise yourself in the complete opposite direction of the female sexual organ.

Fucking quit that shit, ain't no one really gasping for air because you can lay down some fucking js in a website, who gives a fuck? like really? these posts are so fucking annoying.

Grow a pair, and some personality.

Background: some dweeb complaining to me about finding it hard to get girls because of his "passion" station women would lose interest because all he would talk about is dev shit

Monday morning, went to the local grocery store to get myself some croissants and 2 bottles of wine.

Cashier: "Already at it in the morning, you sure about that?"

Me: "Long story short, I've got a Wi-Fi driver from Intel to debug and rewrite, and it's a fucking piece of shit.. can't go at it without hitting or preferably exceeding the Ballmer Peak... Also I'm awake since yesterday evening already."

Why even ask? Yeah I'm a fucking alcoholic, and guess why that is.. stupid nontechnical fucks, certified enganeers like that motherfucker at Intel who wrote this pile of garbage called ipw2200, and technology that can't be arsed to work properly on its own unless I build the fucking thing myself, just to name a few reasons.

You know what, fucking piece of shit from Intel, whoever it is? How about I let you choke on my dick while fucking hanging you with a sharp metal wire that's carrying 2kVAC from a microwave transformer, just to see whether I'd nut first, or you either choke, get electrocuted, or get your fucking throat slit first. Certificates aren't an excuse for committing this fucking pile of shit and calling it a fucking product!!

Now, it's time to dive into this giant stinking fucking turd I guess.. first glass of wine to get myself prepared for the shitstorm that's a giant 20k LoC C file with barely any comments, to look what the fuck causes this fucking pile of shit to disconnect and ask for WPA credentials after a while, despite having them stored.. and not reconnect after that, because why the fuck would you?!

Finally got myself a Lytro Illum!
I,v been wanting to buy one since it came out but the company who made it closed down in 2015..
Thoose fuckers just thrown everything in the trash and set it on fire, software, firmware, mobile app etc.. no open source, no archives, your expensive camera is now a paper weight! You’r welcome!
So i got myself a new hobby, started reverse-engineering the fuck out of it, luckily it’s based on android (api17), i have adb and it’s running a hidden DHCP server too so it’s coming along nicely :D
I’m planning to make a camera control mobile app for it and maybe some faster image processing, wifi sharing etc..
I love beeing in home office :D

SSD size 128GB
Windows 10: let's go and use 40 fucking GB for windows.old.

Like WTF, use 1/3 of my ducking storage for "I don't trust updating myself so here's a massive restore point"

Fuck you windows.

Geez... Got woken up by a catastrophe alert.

Check phone, could be someone shooting up the neighborhood or something else to excuse myself from a social event.

Someone thought that 40 km/h wind and 20 cm of snow are a catastrophe.

Fuck this country.

Well that was a good little time off :)

Decided to go offline for a little and that was a good one, hello again.

Wrote a geoip service because I hate rate limits and such so fuck it, why not write one myself (data is not that accurate as it's free but quite alright if you ask me) (front end still fucking sucks).

So yes, that's I guess :P

I've come to a conclusion today: Management are fucking with me. I know it sounds far fetched, but its the only thing that makes sense.

I was in a meeting today, discussing some bad emails back and forth. Part of my issue was the amount of time spent on useless meetings, or waiting around to give demos.

The meeting got cut short, so I could prepare a demo for a VP ... after an hour and a fucking half of waiting around ... theres no time to see my demo.

What the actual fuck, seriously .... seriously what the actual fuck. What if the name of mother fucking christ is going on with this team, that they call me into a mother fucking meeting to discuss the "developers attitude" only to go and cut it short ... so they can fucking waste my time ... for the second time in 3 mother fucking days.

Oh i'd rather fuck myself with a cactus than spend the rest of my days dealing with this utter bullshittery.

Fuck College, Fuck C, Fuck the people that didnt help me with my C code and in fact made my problems worse and didn't fucking help me, Fuck the bastard that decided to give my the largest mountain of homework, fuck my inability to get shit done, fuck myself for not getting motivated to do anything. And also fuck Javascript cause its JavaScript.

Edit: IM ALSO FUCKING RETARDED

so heres to all the fucking programming teachers who use incorrectly terminology when explaining shit. now i gotta go tell my friend that he should ignore what the teacher said and ill tell her how to myself. also fuck javascript and code.org's terrible implementation of an environment for it.

When you teach someone to use git and all.of a sudden you are required to supply all the answers when they run into problems:/

I tried to point them to Google and they still keep coming back. Why the fuck did I do this to myself?

Okay so
Client asks for a bunch of data what can be easily calculated with excel. I think to myself, yeah, ill not fuck around adding numbers 1by1, ill just use excel.

Client wants a program, says he likes having a program do stuff. Mind you, this isnt an universal program at all, it just has to work for this specific input file.

Me: packages the original excel file into a jar and makes it unpackage when run.

Client: is happy

Me: ???

I hate that fucking feeling, when I am 9001% certain that the bug is caused by the shitty framework because I tested every detail and could exclude my code as the culprit, but later realize it was in fact myself, because I overlooked one pissing line.
Holy fuck.

Fuck software assurance.

Fuck functional specifications, fuck software requirements, fuck V-model bullshit documentation, fuck integration test plans.

Fuck trying to shoehorn waterfall requirements into what clearly was an interative development.

Fuck me for being a single dev handling all this bullshit by myself.

When you are coding, put your coffeepot on fire, and forgot about it for two hours.

My life suck tonight.

Fuck you, you motherfucking fuck. How DARE you have the capacity to sell fake fucking chips on Amazon and make me fucking waste hours of my god damn fucking nights trying to program your shitty, lazy-ass implementation of an EEPROM.

I followed the datasheet specs down to the fucking microsecond just to find that nothing would write to the chip, and then spent hours of my goddamn life trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, making myself feel like a fucking failure for not being able to write 1s and 0s to a few pins. Fuck you, fuck you with a giant horse cock with needles on the tip

So I bought myself some computer glasses after feeling uncomfortable looking at a screen with "bare" eyes (I don't wear corrective glasses).

But the other day, I lost them.

I looked for them everywhere, under each grain of dust I could find. They were nowhere to be found.

Reluctantly, I bought new ones. They arrived today, I unpack them, test them, and then do some flat cleaning. I lift some envelope and...

My first pair was sitting there, innocently.

Fuck me.

Management and other senior leadership have been really shitty recently, I got showed up in a meeting in front of about 20 of my peers and people myself/them and treated like a fucking child.

So I took a week off, uploaded my CV and today, after about 30 calls with offers, I attended two interviews and got two amazing offers of employment!

More money, less responsibility, better career development, modern company and less stress!

I’m so happy and can’t wait to go into work on Monday morning and tell them all to FUCK OFF!

i am a procrastinating asshole. woke up at 7am to do some work, and still, 5 hours later - nothing! i am so pissed of at myself right now. i just want to jump out of my skin and not be me anymore. fuck.

Internship Update:
I am slowly breaking down.
I have to endure all of that stress.
Both physically and psychically.
I keep cutting myself without wanting it.
I am not attempting suicide lol.
I applied as an IT person.
What I am doing has almost barely to do with IT tho.
I am most of the time busy carrying heavy stuff like refrigerators, placing new washing machines, setting TVs by building them and putting them on the shelves. The shelves are hard to reach. At the same height as my head.
Fuck that shit already. I am not going to miss that place.

I just completed my first live soldering project...

Converted my son's mobile (dangly plush animals and music not cell phone) from using 4 X C batteries (LR14) to using an AC-DC transformer

I hardwired it at 6v and it worked, and I didn't burn myself, and I cut a little gap for the wire and it's really snug so the solder is under no tension.

I tinned the wires beforehand like I knew what I was doing and for once I didn't fuck it up!

Sorry, just had to tell someone. The wife's asleep and she just won't understand.

Currently, I am going through a legacy application built in microsoft access back in 90s.

* No Comments
* No Relationships between tables
* Random code that does nothing
* Weird form layouts
* Weird naming conventions

I need to copy this functionality into modern version using SQL Server Management studio and asp.net core, I also need to kill myself because none of this fucking shit fucking fuck makes sense.

I do my best to write clean and concise code along with comments but after this ordeal I am going to up my game because nobody should need to suffer through spaghetti code and stupid logic that is uncommented.

😶

my mind is multithreaded but can not physically execute more than one thread at a time.

i.e. i want to say 5 sentences in the same time bc im too lazy to wait and say them one by one after a specified delay of time, so i fuck myself over while speaking.

like atomic regions, i bust a few words from time to time from different sentences i have in mind and it ends up not making any sense to what im saying, but it does in my head.

so this is what too much covfefe and sleepless coding nights does to people

Found devRant recently. Now I find myself spending more time here than doing any productive work... Fuck!

Me: How can I delete pushed commits from origin?
Colleague: Just do git reset --hard and then git push -f
Me: But this is dangerous
Colleague: Wait, I'll do it myself
Colleague: Done
Me: But nothing happened
Colleague: Fuck. I just removed all changes on my own branch

I fucking hate it when apps are not named the same way as the fucking product or company. "Connect" app. Connect fucking what? "Mobile bank". Let me try to search for it using the name of my bank. Haha, oops, I forgot I should rather go fuck myself. MusicCast. You're fucking Yamaha and if I can't find you at Y then gods help me.

Today is going to be a long ass day :(
best way to start a saturday..

Receiving objects: 13% (866/6600), 740.01 KiB | 5.00 KiB/s

sometimes i think writing something new would be quicker then downloading it.

The amount of elitism you see inside of the dev community is the reason why I consider changing careers.

No, It don't hurt my feelings. I just don't want to surround myself from sexually frustrated loosers that think that getting cool points on the internet over hating and shitting over other's likes and dislikes means something.

It sucks balls and I smell the areas to be of dried cum and Cheetos.

Fuck man, being born ugly, anti-charismatic and weird must suck big balls

SORRY JUST NEED TO RANT.....

JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE/WEBCHAT WITH SHITTY HR BLOCK CUZ THEIR SHITTY PAID SOFTWARE IS BUILT WITHOUT THE USER IN MIND AND NOW EFILED MY TAXES INCORRECTLY...

THEY CANT FIX IT SINCE ITS ALREQDY SENT TO THE IRS....

I SPENT 2 HOURS TRYING TO CONTACT A HUMAN BECAUSE THEIR WEBCHAT IS SUPER HIDDEN ON THEIR SHITTILY BUILT SITE THAT HIDES IT UNTIL I HAVE TO CALL THEIR PHONE NUMBER AND THE GUY WALKS ME THROUGH SOME SPECIFIC STEPS TO GET IT TO SHOW UP!!!!!!!!!

THEN WEBCHAT GUY ASKS FOR ALL MY INFO BUT THEN CONCLUDES THAT I NEED TO CALL THE IRS MYSELF BECAUSE THEIR SHITTY SOFTWARE ALREADY SENT THE INFO.... THE WRONG INFO....

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I OWE THE GOVERMENT $2500..... ALL THIS JUST TO PAY PPL MONEY.... FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK....

AND THERE GOES MY WHOLE NIGHT.....

DO !!!NOT!!!!! USE 'X' AND 'P' TO 'CUT AND PASTE' A LOT OF LINES ACROSS FILES IN VIM!!! HOLY SHIT I JUST PWNED MYSELF SO HARD I LOST SO MUCH CODE HOLY FUCK IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! WHERE DID AT ALL GO YOU ASK, WHY THE FUCKING REGISTER, OK LET'S CHECK THE REGISTER, COOL THERE IT IS, BUT WAIT, THERE'S ONLY LIKE 20% OF IT BECAUSE WE CUT A SHIT LOAD OF LINES AT ONCE, AND THE REGISTER OVERFILLED.... Ok let's calm down, doesn't Vim have a recovery option? Yes it does, but WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE, MY CHANGES ARE NOT IN THE SWAP FILE BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE VIM CRASHED OR ANYTHING, MY DUMB-FUCK-ASS WILLFULLY WROTE THE CHANGES WHEN I SWITCHED OVER TO THE NEW FILE, AND NOW, WELL THAT'S IT, YOU'RE DEAD KIDDO, YOU WROTE THE CHANGES TO DISK, NOTHING YOU CAN DO, AND I AM SO SCREWED I SPECIFICALLY MADE A DEVRANT ACCOUNT TO MAKE SURE NO ONE ELSE PWNS HIMSELF AS HARD AS I JUST DID HOLY FUCK

Dev pickup lines:

Hey girl, I may not know your namespace but if you let me cin it'll turn you cout😉

Comment your best

-= Me in the zone hacking out code during meeting with customer for an emergency change =-

-ready to deploy just need to....-

Me to myself:

"Oh ... oh shit ... I forgot who the customer is / who this is for / what time it is ... how do I ask these people on the call who the fuck they even are....?"

(｀_´)ゞ

Boyfriend just got rejected after spending 45 minutes annotating a video using a company's shitty product they asked him to learn and utilize for the interview itself.

He did a fine job, if I do say so myself.

He was rejected today, with no reason other than a list of "common things that might have triggered a rejection".

Oh and the classic "we're sorry, we can't tell you why we rejected you - but we look forward to you re-applying in 45 days!"

Why the fuck not? If you're a recruiter and you do this shit, go royally fuck yourself. It's so beyond unprofessional and there's zero reason for it.

If he fucked up and failed, fine. At least tell him why. Be fucking adults. Your shit fucking stinks just like everyone else's, this isn't American Idol or the Hunger Games; you're not President Snow, and even Simon will tell you why you suck.

Fucking aggravating.

Sitting at work listening to music, doing absolutely fuck all right now because I ain't got no tickets! All the mfers need to answer me before I can work on their stuff.

Sounds great, no?

It's not. It's hell being unable to do work for me. I need to busy myself with doing random shit so I don't go insane.

Mhh, coffee...

Oh, by the way, Sir Jav'alot is still around too.

When you sign up to public WiFi (ikr 🙄) with the name: Mr Fuck Off... Etc

Then it greets you with: "Welcome Fuck!"

I played myself 😝

Fuck me in the eye...

2 years into full time development and I still can't get myself to work on a side project.

Am I alone ????

You've just sent slides upon slides to me called "feedback" but in each you just describe the behavior of what happens on screen.

News flash: I KNOW WHAT THE CURRENT BEHAVIOUR IS. IF I WANTED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT THE CURRENT BEHAVIOUR IS, I WOULD ASK, BUT OBVIOUSLY, I CAN DO THAT MYSELF, SO INSTEAD, I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD DESCRIBE THE DESIRED BEHAVIOUR YOU ARE SEEKING, THAN LITERALLY SAYING 'THE BUTTON NAVIGATES ME TO THE NEXT SCREEN WHEN I PRESS IT'

YOU FUCK

DUMB FUCK

CLWON SHIOWEIHOP'ASDFGHIO;DFJBKL;HDFG ADSBFHKL;ASDGIOPSDAFJOFEJAIOLADS FSAD ASAAAASDGADGSFADGS

My evening routine:
*puts down the laptop near the bed
*puts a glass of water near the laptop
*thinks about “fuck you idiot, you gonna rekt your laptop some day”
*goes to sleep
So tonight it finally happened... global game jam in 2 days and i don’t have a fucking laptop
Im so mad at myself rigt now

The entire modern gaming ecosystem is a scam.

I added The Crew: Motorfest trial version to my library for free.

Click on Install and it downloads 43 GB of data.
Now it's time to launch.
Click on launch and Ubisoft Connect takes over and it starts downloading another 43 GB??????

WTF ??

If I can't even get the trial version of a game without nearly wanting to kill myself, how does the company expect me to pay full price for it?

Piracy FTW. Fuck all the companies.

Microsoft's business suite is much better than Google's business suite.

If not for Google's monopoly in consumer market, MS would have easily taken over the consumer space as well. No wonder this company is acing their game in B2B space.

I can see myself migrating to MS ecosystem because fuck YouTube and Google Maps. MS has everything better now.

You know what MS did right?
They heard herd.

And this is what annoys me about Google. A company arrogant and adamant in their own approach that they even refuse to acknowledge a user's existence.

I'm in deep shit, barely managing myself,
> Fuck Domain resellers who don't know their job (that's not you Jase)
> Fuck GoDaddy
> Fuck cPanel
> Fuck WordPress

That concludes, a friend called in a favor to host a WordPress blog with our hosting and domain from re-seller

and fuck that re-seller with cactus in the ass, for being a hack and saying it is not possible to transfer the domain to my hosting account.

Fuck group projects/labs. I hate them. I typically find myself explaining basic shit that was covered in previous lectures, or just doing all the work myself because they could care less.

You ever just get pissed at everything?

I find myself wanting to pick a fight about everything today. Little stupid things just setting me off. Just rage...

My head also a feels a bit fuzzy. Also tinnitus is fucking loud today.

Fuck off world!

I hate these idiots that post source code examples as an image just so they can keep their cool highlighting and style. How the fuck am I supposed to test that without re-typing the whole thing myself? Ever try OCR on source code? Not too great, is it.

Fuck you companies that have hidden requirements in. their. job. offers.

It's so annoying to spend my valuable time on an application for a job that I think myself a perfect fit for, just to find out that they are looking for applicants "with more experience in..." (fill in the gap)

Just fucking put it in the requirements already and save us both our time.

I came to this company. I saw spaghetti code. I told myself to write clean code and also clean the existing code. I took too much pressure for too little return. I am done with this shit. I will now write clean code but fuck the old spaghetti code!

What is wrong with Java CLI applications? Is it really necessary to output a billion lines consisting of INFO an WARN messages?
If I work some longer with beeline I turn into a Java application myself.

INFO: Writing rant
INFO: Clicking submit
WARN: Heart rate too high
ERR!: SHUT THE FUCK UP JAVA!

Fuck Safari
Fuck Apple
Why the fuck do I have to fucking over stress myself to get a simple thing working on your fucking platform.

I'm a front end developer who knows Ruby on rails and Node Js, I still call myself a freaking FRONT END DEVELOPER because I don't have enough knowledge of the required concepts to trust my skill in a complex backend project.

How the fuck there are so many full stack developers who lack shit tons of knowledge in both specialties! And worst of those are asp.net "FULLSTACK DEVS" that can't write JavaScript without copying and pasting from SO and don't know that display flex is a thing!

I was trying to understand the source code of aircrack-ng which is written in C today.
Suddenly I saw sth strange !
WTF !! what is #ifdef ??? I've never seen that before !
So I told myself : hey ! You have to download a complete C programming course!
so I did , but when I skimmed through the titles , again:
WTF ! I know all of them! So why the fuck I could not fully understand the code ? Where can I find anything I missed ?

So... I'm asking U :)

Fuck. I'm fucking alive. The past month or so has been hectic. I've mainly been working, sleeping, or at school (not like I've showed up much lately anyways, maybe 12 days or so since the middle of February).

!dev

I'm fucking tired.

Bought an FX 8350 with the Wraith cooler for my desktop, got it for $70 when normally it's about $140 or so. Gonna replace the PSU and case when I get paid on Saturday, cause I don't have to pay anything with this check, so it's all to myself. Cut myself putting a heatsink back on my motherboard, still hurts 3 days later.

My "best friend" is still not talking to me. But she's been talking ABOUT me. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. I'm done with the whole situation with her. It's just her crying over every little thing.

My rants tend to be about my personal life, and this one is no exception. I just have a lot of shit going on and I need to get it out sometimes.

The client said they don't want the old news to be imported to the new website.

After launch the client said that the news has not been imported over to the new website and they won't pay until everything is completed.

So am busy copying and pasting contents and images.

I want to fuck myself!

So, this poor fucker right here has spent 3 hours straight trying to install KDE Neon AGAIN, FOR THE 14TH TIME AS OF TIME OF WRITING on an old 0.5TB hard drive with some GiB-wise partitioning size and apparently the disk doesn't like it.

Can someone give me a dildo so I can fuck myself more because life is not fucking me hard enough? No lube needed kthanksbye

So I had a guy in my team, all day shouted "shitty code this, shitty code that"...
Today I had to fix some things, seen some really crappy code, said to myself "I've got to check who's the author of this beauty"... It was him... How the fuck can you shout shitty code on other peoples work when yours ain't better?!?

Ok, so I basically spent my weekend trying to work out why the fuck my python docker container would not connect to my mariadb docker container. Tried fucking everything, bridged network, host network, links (even though theyre deprecated), you name it. It would NOT WORK!

In my despair I finally turned to StackOverflow. There I was told 5min after posting the question that the reason was probably that mysql is a quite heavy service, which takes a bit to start up.

I thought to myself "Oh, get the fuck outta here, that can't be it, shit's way too easy to work!"
I tried it nevertheless by adding a 10sec delay before querying the database AND THE MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ACTUALLY WORKS!! So, I essentially just lost a weekend because I was too impatient... I think I'm gonna punch some trees now.

For fucking fuck sake I fucking hate those dense motherfuckers with professor degrees from university. Lazy shmucks.

How, HOW, can you, as a sentient human being, force anybody to use Netbeans for the fucking final project? Two SOAP services, two REST services and PHP for communication? In Netbeans!? WTF. You didn't even teach us PHP for fuck sake. Why can't I choose technology I'm using!?

And to top it all of, Netbeans is the worst IDE I've ever used. I'd rather kill myself with a spoon than use for even one more project. How can ANY TEACHER use it for lectures and tasks? Using it teaches you fucking nothing, because it's generating code for you. It makes you braindead when you just look at it. It's works like shit and looks like shit.

P.S.
I hope that devTea's swear-words blocker will have some fun with this rant.

I'm working on a redesign of a website and their logo is so bad… (I made it years ago, but ssshhh)…
And they love it so much, so I can't even change it.

It's killing my creativity, because the only way you can put it seems to be at the top, inside a white header.

I hate its' designer so much… and it's me! Fuck myself.
I designed it thinking about a particular website look, so it was perfect back then, but now I have to do something "new", "different", but without changing the logo.

Any suggestion on where to put it, how, or how kill myself?

Fucking shit fuck.

I got off work, ranted with the wk rant... and forgot about it.

Typed out a -1000 character ish rant about the fuck of a dependency manglement situation I got myself into in node today. Pure artwork I swear.

>you can’t be posting rants within 2h of the last one.

>okay, that’s fine, I’ll park it and wait.

Switch app out to messenger to chat to my booty.

Switch back, check it’s still there... fucking empty new rant screen 😞

I know iOS have updated their app backgrounding... maybe that was the problem.

Or it’s just user error. FUCK!

I ain’t typing it again. That masterpiece of a rant is gone to the ether.

Fucking useless bots.

I need a bit of help in getting some documents from my University, so I go into their site and they have a WhatsApp support number. Perfect, I think to myself. So I send them a message with my question and a fucking bot answers me with a list of categories for my question, none of them matching my question. So I answer the "Other" option and it just sends me a FAQ link. Like what the actual fuck? I contacted the fucking number because I need help from a damn human, not a fucking FAQ link you useless waste of server resources.

-Writes an algorithm that randomly generates a dungeon for my RPG game I'm writing in C++ with SFML library-

after 6hours of reading papers about algorithms, writing an algorithm myself, at 4 am I decided to give up and re try tomorrow and fix all of the problems, but all that I had in mind is, what the fuck did i just write here.. I'm sure the next day me will not understand what the hell is going on-

"Did you really buy a macbook to put ubuntu on it?"
"Wow why would you use such an overpriced piece of garbage just to put linux on it?'
"You made the worst choice of hardware to put ubuntu on"

Maybe, just maybe, I didn't fucking buy it myself and I got it from work? Maybe I didn't fucking pay a dime to get a laptop to put ubuntu on it? Ever considered that I got it for fucking free and have the privilege to do what I want with it?

Go fuck yourself if your first assumption is that I would actually buy a macbook just to erase MacOS from it

probably most of my life, not just career.

realizing sooner that nobody gives a fuck and nobody will ever help.
realizing sooner that i can make and sell stuff. realizing sooner that the fact that what i sell is shit is completely disconnected from the success of my sales.
realizing aooner than most people are morons.
getting okay with exploiting morons' moronism sooner.

realizing that nobody has morals so unless i drop mine i'm just holding myself back.

stuff like that.

HR people on LinkedIn. What the fuck? Do you seriously believe you can attract qualified developers by telling them you’re looking for ninjas, jedis or life savers? I for one am still fairly new to the job so I don’t consider myself to be by any means a coding wizard, and I don’t think any strong senior developer is gonna be seduced by your catchy terminology (I may be wrong about that). Come on, talk to us like any recruiter would in any other line of business. No need to replace the words "qualified" or "experienced" with your stupid magic words, unless you want to sound like you’re desperate

My college wants me to submit my final project.... On a compact disk!
Yes, I'm sitting here facepalming myself to a pulp.
Like what the actual fuck, those things died six years ago! The last time I burned a cd was probably when I was in 9th grade and had a potato for a computer.

>laptop can't handle 3 terminals because cpu is single-core 1.2GHz
>fuck it
stress -c 128 -i 128 -m 16
>second terminal
top
>load average: 272.15, 247.60, 149.80
>CPU is cool after 30 minutes
>how
>picks up laptop from right side
>burned myself
>cpu is on the left under power button, right side has nothing that would get hot???
>takes apart laptop
>second large CPU-like die
wtf.386
>looks up laptop
>floating point/algebraic coprocessor
WHAT

and that was the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down

what fucking system has a coprocessor after 2002? (My laptop is a 2008 HP something or other)

Does anyone ever have this, that, when you see a post with loads of upvotes/comments you're like 'fuck, I really should've posted that myself (insert weeks or whatever) ago... '

Everyone come and brutally fuck and kill me for today I have sinned.

My SO asked me to buy a durian cake and I did. I am saving myself from taking a cab since the locations are a bit far off. So yeah 😥

I'm that guy on a public commute with a fuck load of smell package. 😭

I wish I can apologize to everyone on bus 😓

Do i like stickers? I do.
Does that mean that I consider myself a pro? No
I just like them.
So fuck you assuming things that don’t make any fucking sense.

"Hello sir, do you have time to talk about...."

Shut the fuck up. Sit the fuck down. Name your stack. I know how to fucking work with it. If I did not select it it is because it was not the right choice. I did not spent 4 years teaching myself to code AND later on obtaining a B.S in Computer Science(another number of years) as well as obtaining industry grade experience for you to tell me what I should use.

I think I'm having a "return to monkey" phase.
What the fuck are we doing?

Free VPN's, free cloud storage, smartphones and stupid telemetry/uSaGE aNaLYtiCs, password managers, social media, content farms, cheap wifi enabled smart home and 'intelligent' cars.

I'm starting to hate it all.

Look at how many people (including myself, sadly) is glued to their fucking datahoarding multimedia shitdevices (known as 'smartphones'). While sitting in a room filled with every fucking small appliance that needs an app, wifi and phones home to who the fuck knows.
Even my fucking dishwasher has an app and wifi enabled so I can start the dishwasher outside the wifi network.

How the fuck did we get here?

Sometimes I hate it to be a "computer-guy". There is this one beautiful girl, I see her everyday in the train, but I just can't talk to her. I hate myself for not just saying " Hi" or whatever. I'd love to "just say something", but it doesn't work! Why the fuck am I thinking this much?!

Any tips? From dev to dev? Please?!

Fuck this piece of shit that calls itself a Macbook Pro. Bought myself a Mac in 2011 because I wanted something durable. Spent 2k € on it. Now its more annoying thany any Windows machine I ever had because I have this fucking GPU glitch that Keeps. Crashing. My. Machine. I cant work that way.
Yeah, already had it repaired. Didn't work. Use gfxCardStatus to keep it on integrated. Doesnt work. Well, I coud just buy a new one, couldn't I? Fuck Apple, fuck you.

!dev related

went from verizon's ludicrous 210 a month to 165 for 2 lines with t mobile...threw in a samsung s9 for myself, wife will keep her iphone7s plus and I am a happy camper. Why didn't I do this sooner? because fuck me I am an idiot......

I never used to lie. Unless it was absolutely necessary which was very rare.

But now, I can lie so easily.

It all started with those fake sick emails after entering coroorate. And now I have become a lying bastard.

I don’t like myself when I lie but the necessities have become frequent in corporate.

Fuck corporate man!

Fuck it with porcupine quills!

Got job offer, nice pay, started reading - 10 steps of recriutment.
They literally wrote that if I will be lucky I will meat CEO during last phase.
I told myself I would probably puke if I manage to pass all steps and tell this CEO to fuck off if I meet him during interview.
I think I skip this one.

Raining outside, the office all to myself. The entire building is empty and here I am jamming to Volbeat while I finish some stuff for monday.

It sounds as If i am complaining, but I am not, i love this me time that I get at the end of every Friday (we leave at 12 but I stay about 3 hours extra to fuck around)

I love this shit. Boss got us pizza yesterday and there is still some left.

And i got some tobacco with me . This is some good shit my dudes. Good shit

I can't stop procrastinating from doing what I need to do. This extends to even web development and coding on personal projects, which is something I really enjoy doing.

It's as if I have some sort of underlying fear holding me back each time I get the chance to get things done. Normally I don't have the time and make the excuse for myself that there "is not enough time" but tbh I now literally have an entire week in front of me free, with nobody to distract me. I am actually getting my long-desired time alone. I can finally power through all the things that require intense focus, like coding.

And yet, I can't bring myself to just do it. Instead I make excuses and go play video games instead (Overwatch has been a really bad time sink for me). I haven't been able to do what I wanted to for like a year now. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I need help guys!! Anyone have advice for me?

Travels to another state, about 6 hours of journey. After finally reaching the office, had to wait another hour for my turn. The interview starts
Q: How long have you been programming?
A: for nearly 2 years, I mainly code in python.
Q: Nice! (Puts a piece of paper infront) explain how the shortest distance between 2 cities is calculated by Google maps using graph theory..
I go blank and stay silent for an awfully long amount of time. Gets rejected.
After coming outside, I ask myself... Why the fuck does a normal tech company need written algorithms on graph theory used by Google maps?

I've taken more work than I should... now I'm sitting here on a status call. And it is 21:00 Saturday. And I started at 08:00. And I work at least 10 hours tomorrow. And this lasts for couple of months. And fuck my fucking logic and why the fuck did I allow myself this hell! Fuck!

Bootstrap:

Making developers say "fuck it...ill just build it myself" since its inception.

I swear....for small intranet shit sure...whatever y know...but when it comes to actual design this piece of shit is so quirky.

So, you are telling me that I should motivate myself? For working in a dead end job with no scope of promotion, no imminent raise, ever changing job requirements, layoffs, empty cubicles, zero SDLC process in place, no oversight from upper management, it is somehow my fault for me being late to work everyday?

One of these days, I'm going to fling my resignation paper at your face and drop the mic!

Man, Fuck you son!

As you guys may or may not know (or may or may not give a fuck), I'm currently part-time studying to get a diploma and get the fuck out of my country. Since I have to write a 40-pages long "end of study dissertation" about something we personnaly have interest in, I decided to teach myself about DevOps.
In order to prepare it, I decided to get a Raspberry Pi, install Docker and Jenkins (as a container) on it, and handle my multiples websites on it, and build a huge fucking website around which I would write my dissertation about.
But man, I'm starting to loose hope, I get to bed at 2 AM every night because I'm trying to make some basic shit work until I realize that I just CAN'T what I want because of tons of reason, so I try to lower my expectations, and it's frustrating. Yesterday, a Ruby on Rails image I created was perfectly working, tonight MySQL throws an "host not authorized for this mysql server" error, and I don't know what the fuck is happening nor if I can do anything about it.

I love teaching myself new stuff, but I have to admit, it's waaay harder than I expected

"Hey Bobby, can you do XYZ for me? I can do it myself but it's such a pain in the ass"

So why the fuck would I do it if you can do it yourself? Guess what it's a pain in the ass for me too! And it's not even my problem!

Skype??? For main communication in soon 2024 in an IT company???? Get the fuck out are you fucking kidding me??? Starting a 9-5 job after so many years of being jobless feels like im degrading myself back to caveman primal age. What who the FUCK uses skype ????? Please

Could probably write one myself, but fuck me I wish there was a ready plugin for vsCode or a tool that can fetch external resources into selected folders (e.g css, js, .. in the public folder) and replace it inside the code, it has been way too many times that I synced my code base and went out with my laptop, just to realize I forgot half of it has external resources like bootstrap and my mobile connection is terrible enough to call it quits.

This was about two years ago, and is so fucking simple. But it's because I fucked up something so goddamn simple that I'll never be able to forget.

One of the stupidest fucking things I've done?

Went into the GNOME Disks utility trying to wipe a SanDisk Cruzer USB drive. BAM! There goes the entirety of my /dev/sda disk! Oh, and you know all partitions on that disk?? Gone!! Nothing I could do.

I don't know which pisses me off about myself more: The fact that Linux has more complicated tools that do the same exact job but make me think about what the actual fuck I'm doing thus preventing fuckups, or the fact that I was too fucking lazy to use them and decided to go with the dirt simple option and still managed to fuck myself over in the end...

Lesson for you kids that haven't fucked yourselves over in a way this dumb yet: ALWAYS have that backup installer USB somewhere. ALWAYS.

If I have the same privileges (time, money, connections, environments, energy etc) that they have, I will surely achieve 3x more.

I am not trying to find an excuse, that's the reality. I already achieved way more than most people with the same background. I should be proud of myself, and other people who think otherwise can go fuck themselves.

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

13, my boss told me multiple times to leave, but I had to (for myself) fix someones fuck up first otherwise interns had nothing useful to do in the morning.

Got the next morning a few hours off to make up for that time.

Dude I want to ask you , It's possible for me to call myself as a software engineer if I always got a cancer when I try to create HTML template ? I'm suck as fuck on front-end, I can't even create a single HTML template even if you give me help with css framework. I don't know what to do with HTML and CSS, they're totally fucked up my life.

Slogging through half baked code, I wondered to myself... Who the fuck is Robert and where is he?

Quickly searching through Google and finding a handful of results I see that he had left long ago. Probably leaving for good reason. I'll never be able to ask him though. Never will I know why he left. He probably has a very sensible reason, but goddamn do I wish he left something that I could use to discern what he has created.

There is no documentation, no reasonable information about why anything was built the way it was, only just mountains of rusty ass baren code to scale down.

Create my own company and finally release my app. Quit my current job and eventually start doing whatever the fuck I WANT rather than whatever the fuck I HAVE to.

I have only one life. Is it that much to ask to have it for myself, not sold to someone else?

Started a contract about 7 weeks ago now and initially it was great. The boss man was out of the office the majority of the time so I was able to get shit done.

Now the boss man is in the office all the time and I can't have a technical conversation with another dev without him jumping in to explain why we are wrong.

He has no technical experience to speak of and so I now have to explain every technical decision to someone who thinks you can put php code into javascript.

Maybe this is rubber fuck debugging?

Now I just keep telling myself "it's only 4 more months..."

*lunch break at work*
okay, let's play some dota...
*playing dota*
see crush eating, talking, flirting and having fun w/ someone... aaah shit heee weee go again 🤪 or not, whatever, I don't care, yeah, she's not my gf, I'm fine, everything is fine...
*a few minutes later*
client: hey, need this change right now
me: ok 👌
*keyboard sound*
ok, done, let's create a PR
*PR created*
me to myself: yeah, told ya
*PR merged*
me to myself again (I'm a sane person don't worry 😈): that was some badass code you wrote. see? I don't care about crush
*a few minutes later*
client: why the fuck did you ask to merge into master? (I created 33 PRs before and all were merged into the correct branch so they didn't check anymore)
me: *looking at crush 🙄*

What the fuck is up with my luck finding raging peak lunatics, on Twitter for example, I made myself check the person I could be interested in following, by going through 3ish pages of their tweets and retweets, everything safe, then shortly after I open Twitter, I see them fucking retweeting propaganda, sec drama, writing themselves about drama surrounding them, surrounding others, I fucking signed up for tech news, insights and reviews, not your fucking bullshit you twat.

Fuck Google Chrome cache.

For almost an hour, sat and tried to make changes to a react UI but unfortunately nothing's changing. Started to worry and doubt myself.
Even thought of getting myself the yellow duck! But fuck no , little did I realise that Chrome "intelligently" fetched my page from cache even though I was using incognito! Had to re-open the browser to realise that.

How did I find out you ask? I thought why not fucking open the same page in Mozilla . Why? Because why not?! But I still can't believe that I wasted a whole fucking hour due to that piece of shit called cache!

During 6 months I updated myself day and night on java, springboot and AWS.

I failed most of the technical interviews on my preferred stack, however I got a job, where the probable stack is C#, dotnet and Azure.

So, I have a couple of weeks of very good quality rant ahead.

I just started.

hmmm let's see, should I use Visual Studio or Visual Studio CODE. I spent the morning before understanding they were different. I could have spent the morning Studying how To Visually fuck you, lame name chooser.

Now I'm following a tutorial.
I need .NET 5.0, but guess what, I have .NET core 3.1.
But wait, fuck, .NET and .NET CORE are not the same thing! Will .net core 3.1 work for a .NET project or not?

And there goes the afternoon. Is he the same guy who choose the names?
I'll tie you with a barbed wire net and fuck you to the core, you asshole

After reading so many peoples rants about Wix ads, I have been asking myself, "Why in the fuck are people on here seeing Wix ads? What in the hell happened to their adblock?! Did their adblock quit? Is adblock missing? Why is no one concerned that adblock is missing?! We need milk cartons and a search party formed ASAP!"

I promised myself not to fuck too much with new JS frontends. But Sveltes premise seems interesting enough to check it out and the concept of reactive blocks of code in JS sure is interesting.

This language keeps evolving as well as its tooling. I think shit is pretty amazing.

!rant

I was coding some simple themes for a management system I'm currently working on my job, then I remembered about @Alice and I thought to myself "Fuck it, why not?" and added a subtle pink theme

I hate my fucking job but I can't resign as I can't afford myself financially. Fuck my life

Ugh fuck living in Australia trying to buy tech, wanted to treat myself and get a Skagen falser smartwatch. Nope, but we ship to the US...

Always having to pay extra for the same product, pissed me off when people were complaining that $60 is too much for a AAA game and here we are sitting at base of $100.

Can people start realising other countries want tech as well?
Every other Smartwatch other than ticwatch aren't available in Australia, I just want something minimal and with a metal body, fuck companies man -,-

Does anyone else here have coding-fatigue?
Like if someone gives me a problem (BIG or small), I can chalk out an architecture or "oh you can use this-n-this-n-this"

But if you ask me to code it, though it's easy as fuck, I dont want to and will drag it until I gush 2 coffees to force myself to do it.
You give me a junior dev who knows NOTHING and does the typing and I can guide him and make him do it all, but by myself? nah

PS: this only applies to work-code that isnt "fun" per-se. My own projects? no issues at all

Fucking fuck Nvidia. Shit suckers and ass lickers can't make a fucking thing properly. Everytime I have to compile something involving cuDNN and cuda I wish I could kill myself first. It's a piece of garbage software that we're stuck with. Fuck you mother fuckin Nvidia.

Ok I guess I'll go and fuck myself then.

I love working doing tasks like moving boxes.
Move 10 boxes from point A to point B. Simple, you know what to do. and you know when you are finished.

I Hate tasks such as: Change this Icon to other icon. (C++) Because it takes me 3 fucking hours to find in code where the fuck this happens! And every time my first instinct when I don't know something is go to the internet and search for it. But in this case I CaN't!.

Wife: asking why I'm browsing the internet looking at memes.

Because I Don't Know where the fuck I need to be to finish my task! And I am stuck in this repeating loop of searching in code, looking at memes and being ashamed of myself that I did not this fucking simple task in like 10 minutes.

And after 3 hours of doing basically NOTHING. I don't dare to ask a colleague about everything.

Please send help....

FUCKING SANGOMA WTF???????

You buy FreePBX and then convert great modules from OPEN SOURCE to Commercial.... I get it. Developers need to eat. But I've reviewed the new features and you aren't adding value. Just hiding precious standards behind a pay wall.

FUCK IT. I'LL CODE THIS SHIT MYSELF.

Really? You want me to install you an old windows release because "you don't understand the new one"?
What don't you understand? Fucking square buttons? Basic color palletes? Big fat icons with a description below?
What do you miss in a ten years old shitty OS? The need of three antiviruses? The satanic settings layout? Lack of any drivers?
You have a family, you're making them too experience all the security breaches, all the compatibility problems with thing are a "must have" today, and all the slow performance.
Fuck you. Please, please, please, go fuck yourself with your trashy laptop's burnt battery. Pretty please. I already hated you, but now it's out of the charts.
PS: Actually, fuck myself with your crappy laptop's batteries, because my girlfriend told me to help you, and I can't say no, so see you in two weeks, when porn ads are invading your desktop and you're ready to blame me.

Finally got an offer from a multinational org i could previously only dream of. Ugh i really deserve it plus i didn’t fuck myself over by not negotiating this time. Got an extra 10k on stock options which was wild. Bye bye leetcode, hello Netflix and weed for the next month until i resume in August.
Such a relief knowing my family will not starve and die (joke but i am my family’s support so i was a quite worried last month when the interviews just seemed endless).

Never wrote a website before

Wanted to write a website for myself just for PhD application.

Learned Vue on Saturday and wrote the website in three days.

Conclusion: fuck css

I can post the website if anyone is interested to take a look though

You know you're in for a fun time when you open code you wrote the previous night and a comment starts with "Fuck this, it works, sober me can deal with it"

Why do I do this to myself .-.

FUCK

I really wanna love Rust. I really, really do. But no inheritance is just such a stupid decision. But inheritence bad REEEE. No. Just no. Composition only works fine for some things because it just isn't powerful enough to properly (without performance penalty or boilerplate, that is) emulate inheritance. Some things are just better with inheritance: Games, UI, html or xml libs, etc. Now I have to use stupid fucking workarounds because oh no we cannot implement inheritance because that's scary and might give the programmers to much power. I can decide when I want to use inheritance or composition for myself, dickheads

So I finished 6-month long frontend studies and the school proposed internship in one of the best local coding companies. I got their test, basically to write 'API-based internet app with any of JS frameworks'.

Me: 'Hooray!!!'. Couple of days later, app delivered. Made with jQuery (because this is the only js framework the fucking coding school taught me). Very long, very personal cover letter sent along with it.

They: ' We are sorry, but we will not consider anything written with jQuery'.

Me: 'OK'. Learning ReactJS alone by myself for two weeks, 8-10 hours daily. Another two weeks - another project delivered. News agregator, fetching from 3 APIs and merging news based on publication time. News categories, news search - all the bells and whistles. Made 100% myself - not some clone from Udemy workshop or youtube.

They: 'Sorry, your project isn't good enough'.

Me (silently): Fuck you too, stupid HR manager. If you aren't able to see the motivation and dedication in a person, shove a dildo up your ass.

I have a complex about my nose. I was about to bite the fucking bullet and do something about it. Literally just waiting for the procedure room to be ready, when I kept asking myself wtf I was doing. Then looked at my nose again and realized that it really wasn't that big a deal. Not when compared to dealing with internal bleeding and pain for weeks, plus a painful procedure.

Even after all these years, all these accomplishments, all this experience, I'm still a dumb fuck.

Now then, I'll go put some of the money I didn't waste to good use. Like videogames, hookers, and blow. Probably just the former.

Took a week of PTO for a vacation because I'm pretty close to spent these days. Planning on getting in some kayaking and fishing I think, maybe some noodling on the guitar or read some Tolkien, as I really need to take a break from the computer and screens in general, and living in the latest COVID epicenter in the US I can do fuck all else.

I'm /really/ trying to force myself to ignore slack and work emails. I did all I could to leave my team prepared, and given that most are juniors who need A LOT of supervision since working remote, I fully anticipate having to fix everything and get shit back on track when I return next week. Telling myself it's inevitable so worrying about it now won't be any better than waiting till next week. LEARN TO READ CODE AND COMMIT HISTORY FUCKERS!

I know I have a full workload slated for the rest of the year and into Q1 21, so I know letting shit go for a little while is the best thing I can do for myself, and so that my family doesn't have to deal with me being a bastard all the damn time.

Have you ever been so confused with the professor requirements for a Java requirement that you had to decompiled his fucking example only to realize he went COMPLETLEY DIFFERENT ROUTE THAT THE BLACK ASSHOLE HE REQUESTED? GOD I FUCKING WANT TO THROW THROW MY MACBOOK AT HIM, IM HERE AT THE UNIVERSITY FOR 12 HOURS, ITS FUCKING 5 AM RIGHT NOW, THE SUN IS FUCKING RISING AND THERE IS LIGHT IN THE SKY TELLING ME TO KILL MYSELF LIKE JESUS CHRIST WHAT AM I A CODESLAVE NOW? FUCK.

FYI, there's also an addition of 7 students with me too, we're doomed.

Fuck this shit!

I got told off that i went home early yesterday by my manager.

This is how it went.

I made some inquiries to other team regarding specs and their service nearing the end of working hours.

I waited 30 minutes more after working hours because I see them online through internal messenger.

I said to myself 'how long do I have to wait?' I guess I can read their message tomorrow then.

I arrived this morning. Got told off during morning huddle. I checked the messages, they replied 1hr after I left. Do I have to stay and do nothing just to wait for their reply?

Fuck!

So today I got fucked by myself. And it hurts.

In my Company, we started thinking how we could organize some kind of think tank for the next 5/ years goals.

As CTO I got designated to be in these workshops... And stupid me, I started to organize the "workshops". Using " agile" and "facilitator" artifacts (serious games, ideation sessions, open space sessions, etc).

Today we finished the roadmap and proto processes to make bottom to top inclusive process, and co-create with everyone what should be the Company roadmap.

We went to dinner. And I was happily talking with my smartphone when they decided that I should preside the committee in charge of the roadmap creation!!!!!

Useless mother fuckers!!!!! Go kill yourselves!!!! I have some interesting stuff to do!!!

Why didn't I just shut it!!! Now I'll have to make sure the old cluster fuck part of the Company do real shit!!! They are fucking useless and don't give a shit about the future!!!!

FUCK THEM!!!!!
FUCK ME!!!!!!

who else hates recruiters/ recruiting companies? I have been looking for work a while now and my inbox is inundated with "senior" level roles asking for 7+ years experience in every language imaginable. I have only been at this going on 3 years now and definitely don't consider myself senior by any means but do aspire to get there some day. But how the fuck am I supposed to do that if no one will give me experience?? Rant over

Someone please kill me.
I'm sick of myself.
A few days ago in the prize distribution for a past coding contest, I denied my prize and eventually accepted after fucking around a bit.
Now since two days, I'm straight forward wasting my time. My grades are going down exponentially and I'm involving neither in CUDA (which a started just a while ago) nor I'm getting into studies and even getting in competitive coding.... Fuck me!!!!!!

I really got in love with nodejs and shit. And to be honest, the whole async thing isn't that shitty either. I mean the performance itself seems to be whack af (see onoff benchmarks for reference) but your whole project is more responsive.

BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE THE ASYNC WRITE DOWN OF A SETTINGS FILE FOLLOWED BY SOME STUPID CRASH INDUCING MISTAKE I MADE MYSELF, LEADING TO THE WRITE FUCK UP AND ESSENTIALLY ERASE THE FUCKING CONTENTS OF THE DAMN SETTINGS FILE IS JUST LIKE SMEARING TOOTHPASTE ALL OVER MY FRIGGIN BALLSACK!

I was making the bed at my hot blonde gfs apartment and accidentally VERY SOFTLY, Touched, not even aggressively hit, this motherFucking chandelier at the ceiling, and now its hanging on the cables. Are you fucking serious. How can a gentle touch unscrew this fucking lamp and get it fucked up like that so much

Electricity works and all is good so i guess it only needs to be screwed back up?

Who the fuck even made that shit so poor quality. Must have been the shittiest electrical engineer ive ever seen! Probably graduated from online classes too! Fuck you

What do i fucking do now. I feel so bad. It was an accident and i fucked up in someone elses house

Should i fix this myself or am i completely cooked?

Should i call electrician to fix this bullshit?

Pls how much does this fix cost. I hope motherfucking not more than 20-30$ !!!

Get assigned a PR review
Spend half an hour meticulously looking through it
Looks flawless, no errors, compiles, test cases passing, expected results
Approve request
Another developer immediately finds a flaw

Fuck. I think I am totally incapable of making myself look good.

Why is school such a bullfuck, we've learned SQL basics and I've used SQL a little so I thought I won't have a problem. WELL FUCKING HELL WAS I WRONG. Joining 4 tables together with inner join WTF who the fuck uses that, why the fuck do I need to know this, WHY THE FUCK IN A TEST WHEN WE HAVEN'T LEARNED SUCH BULLSHIT. Well how about adding a foreign key to a table that doesnt need one. Well ok have fun with a key that does absolutely nothing and on top of all those convoluted tasks the texts are a mess, they give unnecessary information with grammar of a 9 year old and the pictures are not even readable. They are fucking hieroglyphs.
Fuck school.
Gonna do it by myself at the end anyway.
Fuck everything.

Yay your shit loads in a second on the latest iphone 69 and samsung 30 or whatever, so does everything, that's not a testament to your awesomeness. Why the fuck don't you test and benchmark on low end devices!?? Guess I'll optimize your shit myself... Oh and what's this? FUCKING SPAGHETTI EVERYWHERE!!!! You fuck knuckle find another job cunt.

I wanted to add a simple gallery for our website.
I started browsing open source alternatives.
Result: "Depens on jquery, depends on node, depends on bla bla bla... Fuck it... I'l just make one myself."

Last year i had to resolve a really annoying bug, and figuring out how to fix that was a HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS.
Now i have to make some adjustment to that fix, and the only comment on that piece of code is: "this is a huge mess, good luck if you need to modify something".

FUCK YOU MYSELF FROM THE PAST

Vue is amazing at all but fuck...never try to create some kind of layer on top of it or use external events inside. It is hell, trust me. I hate myself so much now. Shieet.
Now I am crying here with fucked up data flow and such complex hard to debug creature...

300 fucking people.

and only 120 are allowed to study SOFTWARE ENGINEERING while everyone else can go fuck themselves in a COMPUTER SCIENCE COLLEGE

why is this restricted so much

why such a small amount of people are allowed to study SOFTWARE ENGINEERING

are you telling me i sacrificed my time and wasted 2 years of my life on college because i wanted to study SOFTWARE ENGINEERING, just so i can go fuck myself after 2 years?

someone explain this to me

this is unacceptable

I told myself for 18 months things like; ‘im being here, working here, and i like it here’.

Also when others left, nothing could break my confidence.

Present moment i’m happy to leave this place. This madhouse. This stressed out place where everybody keeps licking clients asses. Fuck this shit, i’m much better off elsewhere!

I am dreaming of leaving this company while the building burns. Or just before leaving, throwing my pc to pieces.

I wish i could scream: FUCK *company name*!!!

Fuck!!!
I want to kill myself.
I just had the 2nd try for the math exam and I'll likely also not pass this time,
Means 1 try left and then i have to drop out of college.

I even did prepare way better this time than for the first try, and still the exam was so damn hard.

Nah I'll quickly fix my arch installation, can't take that long...
- my brain at 12pm (about half an hour ago)

Plottwist: I didn't fuck up the whole system and it's booting again.
I didn't expect that myself

Loosing faith...

Interesting question.

I don't think skills have something to do with faith.

If you don't know something, ask someone who does.

Even If I cannot solve a problem or deem a problem unsolvable, I usually don't doubt myself.

There are rare moments where I throw a fit, but that's not loosing faith, thats just being angry because my stubborn thick skull cannot make sense of it, which annoys me.

Might sound cocky, but in my opinion dev skills are not "do or die". Problem could be solved at a later time, maybe never. Who cares?

Loosing faith would mean to me that I define myself in some way on the ability to solve sth that doesn't have to be solved at all.

XD

After all, if it doesn't work, I don't give a fuck.

*Cheers*.

Me: Ok lets make a simple chrome app wrapper for devRant just for the hell of it... Oh i really don't like how there is a split line between the title bar and window content...

*2 Days later"

Me: Fuck it! Let's build a title bar library and allow for devRant theming options...

Why must I do this to myself...

I have a Windows desktop project which requires GUI and I have to use MFC ftwwwwwww
Ohhhhhh god why oh fuck why I want to kill myself big time all this documentation sucks ass

tl;dr fuck me, I'm stupid, I suck at my job and I wanna die but can't complain because I'm labeled ungrateful

I am -this- close... -this- close to strangling someone, or myself for that matter, over trying to finish this goddamned website that I regret taking on just because I needed the money.

You make me rework my website design three times and eventually end up micro-managing me and keep on making me make small changes that even I can't figure out, nor can anyone else for that fucking matter because you want it to be 'perfect'. God I'm so irritated right now let me fucking sleep. I want out so bad but fuck me sideways with my gaping asshole I need the fucking money.

I wanna quit this shit so bad, it's making me hate myself and throwing me into an existential crisis whether or not am I even a good designer / developer because I just can't satisfy this perfectionist asshole and need to greet him with a smile every fucking time to maintain good terms between our startups.

Guys I work for myself and its great (love being my own boss) but after covid I decided to look for work for some company because financial stability is everything in this life

Last job I had, I quit because the boss asked me to make coffee sometimes. We had a good relationship but fuck that 'can you make me a coffee', go make yourself a coffee..

Please god give me patiece..

Pray for me 😅

Who the fuck thought that carieer grade NAT would be a great solution instead of just switching over to IPv6 and have functioning internet?

I don't want to share my IP with some bastard who fails every reCaptcha so that pictures take 5 fucking seconds for me to fade out and in again.

Neither Chrome nor Firefox have a reliable way of forcing IPv6 if possible so Google still thinks I'm an evil bot.
I'm waiting for my PayPal to be frozen because of "suspicious actions from 'my' internet connection".
I don't want to share my IP. I want to be responsible myself for everything that happens to it.

Please replace that old switches that are too slow to manage serious traffic anyway and are just wasting their power for being turned on so that I can have an IP address to myself

Real story:
Started fixing one file in one repo, build, doesn't build, go into other repo fix just one file there, but first I need to make myself a toolchain, making of toolchain fails because it depends on some dirty fix in the file I was fixing, refactor and clean that to a proper state, fuck yeah toolchain builds, source toolchain run make now, breaks with undefined reference, no time to debug plus fuck this automake, remove it, make a makefile, builds fuck yeah, shit now unittest are failing because why not, refactored that makefile as well, everything compiles, automate the test fully so that they are ran on the target out of make just because I'm a nice guy, fuck yeah everything works, commit this repo, commit other repo, review time, one of the guys gave up, the other one did it properly, found some shit there, fix that, done, merge, triggers CI fucking pass

All of this was done in 3h, Talk about efficiency

what the fuck I can't edit the rant after 5 minutes I am fucking posting a new rant which have that last rant ...Why they update the fucking x code in every fucking 15 days . Well some libraries are deprecated oh cool I can use my shit as an object. And why third party libraries don't provide some good documentation of their sdk's . What the fuck is that and I will personally kill auto layout by entering in the mac myself. What is the use of that fucking debugging tool if I know don't the crap of my code that in which class I have done something terribly wrong what the fuck . Oh cool I am having that clang error and I don't know how to wipe my ass. And please fucking don't tell me to use xib code in xcode for my project if there will be 600 screens I will still fucking use storyboard for that. I don't fuck with xib files do you hear me. And fucking stackoverflow ..what the fuck is wrong if I forget an single comma during posting a question ..what the fuck..and you know what the real feeling is when I post a issue on stackoverflow and I got nothing from them expect some minus points...and then the holy fucking coder inside me tells me to solve that fucking problem and I feel like having dope bitch. FUCCKKKK..

Wanted to write a personal rant but fuck it, that shit that I wrote is too cheesy. Let me just say: I hate myself for not being able to work as a fucking human being. I hate every fucking human out there. I want to be fucking left alone and do what I want without feeling like a disgrace. I want to be me and be happy. Fuck you.

With love, some whiny boy

Fuck, I just found out that I have to replace the (pooled) company laptop, which I sometimes take home with me to continue some (work related) side projects, by myself if something happens to it.

Team lead asks me why I do that .... Because I am stupid enough to invest some spare time to get more valuable for the company, asshole.

And this is also the reason why I asked for a personal laptop as workstation several weeks ago... You dumbfuck

Expressing myself in words helps me to structure my thoughts, make new connections between concepts and know myself better. I think that's why I'm addicted to devRant. I even comment on YouTube videos, ugh. Sometimes I write something, read it and go "huh, I didn't know I felt that way". Pretty bizarre, but almost always positive. Now what I think about it (SEE??) I should do some journaling, it's been a while. The fuck is up with this letter sorcery...

Started Master Degree in DB just to prove to myself that I can do this. Although I'm really bad at sql I passed the admission exam . Now I'm wondering : how the fuck I passed a fucking sql exam without knowing to write a single good sql line . Just how ...

just came out of an interview , totally fucked myself.

it's my first interview in last 6 months, i didn't prepare shit, 30 mins before the interview i was trying to get Hello world in java to work , and this was totally what i expected.

however the interviewer went deep into my domain and only asked Android questions. i wasn't even able to answer them 😅 . fuck am fucking rusted.

i would not hire myself if i were to interview a guy like me XD . but it was fun.
i wanted to get an idea of where i stand and what i should be working upon. i guess i know now, will try to get better

Searching how to (insert dev related skill) then after that getting only adds shown for places that do professional dev work. No, obviously I am trying to learn the shit myself not willing to pay someone else, in fact add a sync my bank account to search just so google can comeback with results filed under you are too poor to pay for shit here are the diy results you poor dumb fuck using free wifi. :)

Ok...
FUCK ASUS
...
FUCK THEM...
PREBUILD PC? YEAH... BROKE AFTER A FUCKING YEAR... AN ASSFUCKED YEAR! HOW COULD SOMEONE BUILD SUCH A SHIT OF A MACHINE...
Oh well... saved the grafics card, HDD and SSD... time to get new Parts and build a custom one myself...
FUCK YEAH!
Warranty you say? No i tell you...

Know your shit and don't give a fuck.

Sometimes interviewers are just idiots or monkeys.

I dunno, I've had a few interviews where it just doesn't click. While I'm sitting there, I say to myself: this is nothing like what you said on your job description.. and I've seen all your "technical questions" on Google

I fuck with myself so much It really doesn’t matter if you don’t.