Client: There is a high severity production issue.. you need to fix urgently..

Developer: I am on the way.. Will fix it once I reach home.

Client: I don't care where you are. Fix it right now😡😡

Developer

Happened a while ago but I still find it funny.

*phone rings*
Me: good morning sir, how can I help you?
Client: MY WEBSITE IS OFFLINE, FIX IT RIGHT NOW.
M: I'm going to take a look, what's the domain?
C: *gives domain*
M: I see, that domain expired already, it was cancelled through our customer portal by the client, you maybe or someone you know?
C: WHAT?! MY INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS DEPENDS ON THAT DOMAIN, I'D NEVER CANCEL IT, THIS IS BULLSHIT! I'F THE SITE GOES OFFLINE FOR A MONTH I'LL FUCKING GO BANKRUPT, YOU'RE GOING TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW.
M: if I may ask, how is your business doing right now?
C: HOW IS THAT QUESTION RELEVANT RIGHT NOW?!
M: well, you said that if the site would go offline for a month, you'd go bankrupt. The domain registration ended about half a year ago so that's why I aske......

*beeeeep beeeeep beeeeep*

Well, okay then.

*at work* (fictional names)

Kevin (linux support engineer): Bob, could you come for a second to take a look at something?
Bob (senior linux engineer): *tiny voice from a corner behind a desk* bob is not available right now. Please try again later.
Kevin: Bob, please, just for a second!
Bob: bob is not available right now, please try again later.
Kevin: Boooooooooooooob, come heeeeereeeee
Bob: as said before, bob is not available right now, try again later.
Kevin: but booooooob, come oooooon.
Bob: it seems that you might have a hearing problem since bob is still not available.
Kevin: but booooohooooob, come heeeeeeeeeeereee
Bob: it seems like the person on the other side of this line might be retarded. Bob is not available right now.
Kevin: But boooohooooohooooooob come oooohooohooon, just for a seeehehecond *starts fake sobbing"
Bob: Bob is getting real tired of your shit. Leave bob alone.

😆

Today was a good day. User asked for a tricky feature. Right after telling him it is done he left this :)

Girlfriend: "My computer is so slow!"

Me: "Have you tried turning it off and then on again?"

Girlfriend: "That's not funny, I actually need help."

Me: "Okay babe, I know you think I'm being an ass right now or tying to be funny, but honest to god half of what pays rent here and buys you so many flowers is me telling people to turn something of and then on again. Just try it."

Girlfriend: *Restarts computer*... "You were right..."

A good rule of thumb when developing applications with a good user experience is to assume that your user is the dumbest person that is walking this planet right now, and make it so that one individual can figure out how to use your application.

Good luck..

BOSS: That icon is not centered, move it slightly to the right
ME: You're wrong, I can garantee you it's centered (it was centered)
BOSS: Well, my eyes are telling me it's not, so move it to the right
ME: (faking increasing margin)
ME: Ok, now it's 10 px to the right, what do you think?
BOSS: it's a great result, now it's perfect! Cant you see the difference?
ME: Absolutely, you do are the real designer here...
BOSS: Ohhh, stop complaining, you'll learn one day...
ME: Yep.

Got a great boss!!;

Me: Hey, do we have a corporate GitHub account?
Boss: *excitedly* do we need it? We'll get it!
Me: uhh, yeah, we need it 😉

Don't care he doesn't know what it is, got his trust to get all the right tools!

My boss has a camera in the office for "security" reasons and I happen to be just right under it, exposing my computer screens to it. So I wrote a script that sends me an email whenever the camera port is accessed.

if I got it right, this is how internet troubleshooting was programmed

Friend: You are a programmer, right?
Me: Yes...
Friend: I have a idea how we can become rich
Me: *not again*
Me: Ok tell me
Friend: Look, it is almost like Facebook, but...

im a programmer.

Moms : Son, please fix my phone
Me : what the...
Moms : Cmon ur the IT guy right?

Dad : My laptop must be broken, can u fix it ?
Me : i can't..
Dad : ur degree is useless
Me : ....

Friend : hi, ur the IT guy right ? can u help me ?
Me : Sure ...
Friend : please hack my BF facebook account..
Me : *face Palm.

That moment when "Is It Down Right Now?" is down...

Not sure if it just doesn't have the right character encoding scheme, or if my existence is being questioned...

Me: Visual Studio 2019 is acting weird. I should close it and re-open.

Me: *Clicks X in top right of instance window*

Dialog: Not enough memory to perform this operation.

=/

Customer is always right.....

Committed to sustainable productivity..

Misunderstanding between the IT Department Staff member and the Finance Department Staff member in one of the establishments...

User: Hi, our printer is not working.

IT Service: What is wrong with it?

User: The mouse is jammed.

IT Service: Mouse? Are you sure it’s a printer, as they don’t come with a mouse?

User: Do you think I’m stupid? I’m telling you it’s the printer!

IT Service: I'm telling you, it can’t be the printer! They don’t have a mouse!

User: Oh really?... Mmmmm... I’ll send you a picture.

Scroll down...
. . . . .. .
. . . . . .
. . . . .
. . . .
. . .
. .
.
.
.

The customer is always right.
Listen to him/her and believe what he/she says.

Don’t jump into conclusions!

Everything in application is aligned to right

🤡 Can you alight text in that form to the left
Me: Why? All forms have text aligned to the right.
🤡: It looks better
*Add !important*

A couple weeks later, a new BUG is assigned to me by the 🤡
"This form has text aligned to the left, while all other forms have text aligned to to right"

For the Germans among us. Found it at the Dortmund train station today. At least the syntax is right.

Yesteryear's me: What is up with this effin' catelyn-katelin-thingy? Yet another hipster language trying to dethrone Java. Yeah, right. And why does it sounds like my ex's name?

Today's me:

Wait what's that? You don't use version control on Production servers?
You want me to do what?
You want me to rename every file I have to replace with an underscore and the date after the extension so it looks like this?
SHIT.JAR_01262019
You've got to be fucking kidding me right!?
No?
Oh the production server is down again?
Is it because we're not using the right Jar file?
Well shit, I wonder why that's happening...

Immagine that you microwave a burrito, and it turns out perfectly. But if you add one grain of salt to it, the microwave will blow up. That's what the code I'm working in right now is like...

😿🔫

Public service announcement: Do not get married to your language, tools, or way of doing things. If there's an easier solution to something, try it before dismissing it. No language is perfect, and dumping everything on the responsibility of an API or framework can cause more headache then solve it.

Case in point: I love Java for backend programming, but node.js is a better solution to frontend programming then depending on JSP's and HTML within the same Java project. Less things go wrong and it's easier to debug issues.

There is no best programming language. Only best practices and using the right tool for the right job.

#exceptC++fuckthatlanguage

:^)

Learning a new language is like first time doing sex, it's hard at the beginning but when you start doing it right you just want more and more! :) good morning guys !!

Look Who's happy! Thanks for the sticker @dfox and @trogus it came right when we celebrate our Anniversary. It is a very great Present from you.

When you walk into work and see this, it makes you want to walk right back out.

(Each display is a separate Ubuntu box. Six of them were down. Six.)

WTF Apple! That new name is longer than Empire State building! on the right how it was, on the left how it will be if I migrate to Swift 4.2 ...

Client: There is a high severity production issue.. you need to fix urgently..

Developer: I am on the way.. Will fix it once I reach home.

Client: I don't care where you are. Fix it right now😡😡

See the developer!!!

While everyone else is talking about Firefox quantum, I'm here wishing there was a visual overhaul to Thunderbird because right now it looks like shit.

Currently I live in the city Utrecht. Right now a terrorist attack is happening next to my school with explosives and I'm at school right now.

Waiting it out now!

I can _feel_ something is not right here but can’t quite point my finger at it.

Manager: Hey Dev I need to do QA on this PR.

Dev: That PR is not finished yet

Manager: Well do QA now anyway, that way when it is finished it can be merged in right away since QA has already been done on it. It’s a project management technique called “fast-tracking” and it improves efficiency.

Dev: …

Feature request for @dfox:
Swiping for rants:
Left = nay, right = yay
Or better:
Match making via rants for devSingles.

Just kidding! I love devRant the way it is. It's the best app. Probably the best of all. It's huge. You'll like it.

HOW IS IT AUGUST 1 RIGHT NOW

2019 ENDS SOON BUT IT STARTED LIKE YESTERDAY

WHAT IS HAPPENI

WHY IS TIME GETTING FASTER THE OLDER YOU GET?

JUST FCK OFF THIS IS NOT NORMAL

I GOTTA HURRY TF UP AND DO SOME SHIT WITH MY LIFE BEFORE TIME RUNS OUT☠️☠️☠️💨💨🌬

After doing an exam with dubious answers, the teacher gave us the answers with our exams scores.

One question could have two answers and mine was one of them and was "wrong" so I asked the teacher:

Me: hey, this one is right too isn't it?

He: yeah, but the right answer is the other one.

Me: OK... So shouldn't it be reviewed, nulled or given points to both?

He: no, because the answer is this one.

Me: care to explain how you have two right answers but this one is the "right" one?

He: yes, because its "righter".

Me inside: FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!

Me: you got to be kidding right?

He: no. Its this one.

So I changed course and never had to deal with that piece of shit again.

This is how most comments in code are. Why are you telling me it's a coffee cup, I can fucking see it's a coffee cup, who owns it and why is it right here? Are you putting coffee in it or something else?

i prefer my keyboard than the alphabet.

because U and I are right next to each other ;)

ofc, Jk is right below it. hahaha

FUUUUCK!!! I just saw a dead pixel in my retina display

The fact that it is retina tells me that it isn't just one pixel.

I fucking hate my life right now

Working with SSD is like working with an old man. It knows a lot, and tell you things right off the shelve, but it can die at any time.

The best part about solving problems in code is there is no one right answer.

Except for this. This is clearly the wrong way. This is garbage and you are a garbage person for writing it. This code you wrote is the reason your own children will never love you.

Why the fuck is it raining right now and why the fucking-fuck does it cost 15 British money to ship 4 magazines to my apartment?

I also ran out of beer.

Customer: Can you do a database query for me?

Me: Made the query and send them the result as a csv-file.

Customer: Is it possible to send it as an excel-worksheet because the columns don't have the right width.

Me: Resize the columns to the right width, saved it as xlsx-file and send it back.

My younger brother let my HDD fall down to test how hard it is.
-But you said HDD stands for Hard Drive... right ?

Who is agree with this CSS, and how it could be optimized?

#wife {
right: 100%;
margin: 0;
position: fixed;
}

Isn't it fantastic that someone right now, maybe, is building the next big thing in tech? Or that someone is building another JavaScript library to be released in the next 30 minutes?

I’m a civil engineer working in IT and this is the view from my new office, watching the construction work every day and think did I take the right decision.

Yes you are right, My Moto 360 watch face it is!

Today I learned a lesson from corporate survival 101.

The difference between get it done vs get it right.

Boss, manager always want to get it done, while developers always want to get it right, most of the time. If you don't listen to your boss, manager and insist get it right, will eventually cost your job. I saw many get it done code, either the dev moves to another team or already left. They avoid their own code forever.

Perhaps be a good student, not the smart student is a good way to survive. Thought????

Question, I use VirtualBox and PHPVirtualBox on multiple servers right now. Love it and it works great but I'm wondering if anyone knows any good alternatives?

Requirement is that it's open source :)

Can anyone tell me what the hell happened here? GData is supposed to be good antivirus software, right? Been using it for years and suddenly it throws this error message on my mother's computer... WHY IS IT UPSIDE-DOWN???

Sooooo my mother just put a small magnet on top of my laptop. And right on top of where the HDD is.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hopefully no damage done since it was a weak magnet :(

!rant
What is your editor/coding environment fashion setup?

Here is mine and I am very proud of it:

Termite terminal + dvtm (like tmux) + Nano with semi-custom syntax files.

Left language is C, right top C2 (c2lang.org), right bottom my build-system

I hate it when your hand is resting on your mouse and you keep accidentally pressing the right mouse button because of the weight of your fingers

Best time to learn something new?
-Now

Best way to learn something new?
-By doing it. Practice makes perfect.

I wasted so much time and never got anywhere because I wanted to get it right. Fucking up is part of the learning process.

I have difficulties to process why some of my developer colleagues have such difficulties reading and processing error messages.

It says what is wrong RIGHT THERE MAN!

This is the last straw. I am so done with Chrome.

…

I woke up AGAIN this morning to my MacBook shining away brightly, having not gone to sleep the ENTIRE night. I did some better research this time and discovered it's actually Chrome that is causing this.

Yes Chrome is deciding whether my MacBook goes to sleep or not.

I am not ok with this. Worse, it doesn't even have any ability to change this behavior. It's basically a hidden "feature" of Chrome: it wastes your hydro too!

This is not the first time this has happened either. Last time my MacBook wasn't properly plugged in and it completely drained the battery, shutting it right off. I ranted about that already.

But I am just SO fucking livid about this right now. What on EARTH is going through google's mind that they think this is in any way even REMOTELY acceptable?

I've already filed a bug report but I think this is the last straw. I am just sick to death of Chrome. This bug is literally costing me money and damaging my property.

Shove it right up your fucking ass, Google. Right up there and twist it around.

I'm switching back to a real browser.

My boss sucks really hard at English... I would not have a problem with it if he didn't insist on naming methods and variables with a non-sense English that he thinks is right...

Azure may look like shit at the beginning, but given enough time to experience it you understand that you were right all along, it is actual shit

"I'm getting an error. It's just not working right."

Stupidest. Bug. Report. Ever.

Please stop wasting our time with tickets like this people, it only requires is to then spend more time just figuring out what the issue is.

🙄🔫

Colleague: v1 of your Bot + dashboard is due the end of March right? Hows it going?

Me: Well they say a picture speaks a thousand words so:

It is right about me
And you?

Everyone,

Get Visual Studio 2017 RC right now! It is much faster and uses less space, almost 5x less than 2015.

That time when you're flipping through Facebook and realize how boring and big of time waste it is so you flip right over to devrant 😜

Client tests app 100000 times, app works fine
Client tests app once, app doesn't work
Client sends email to everyone,
"Hey, @CodesNotHot, this app is not working at all! Can you please look at it right now!! This is URGENT!"
I test the app, it's working fine.

I just want to high five someone with a machete on the face right now.

Indian tech companies can put in weird skill requirements at times. See point 2, for fuck's sake is this real?! And it obviously contradicts point with point 5 right?

Due to hardware failure build server was wiped out.
So all configurations are gone.
- There is no code to recreate builds
- No backups :D

The bright side, we can finally do it right ;)

Google: the newest android pie is based on user feedback.
The system clock: *is now on the left*
Me: WHO THE FUCK ASKED FOR THIS SHIT? WHY CAN'T I MOVE IT BACK TO THE RIGHT SIDE?

The most expensive electronic thing I ever touched 😁 One of the top variant of Macbook Pro.

It is insane how big it is! My mind is blown away right now.

Really Microsoft really you're going to make me upgrade to the new fucking shitty version of Skype. Just let me keep it how it is and fuck right off. I already deal with all your shit in Windows.

declare @username varchar(255)
if @username is null
set @username = suser_name()

.........

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT @USERNAME TO BE RIGHT AFTER YOU DECLARED IT???

"Fresh grad ~ 10 years of experience"

Dafuk is that supposed to mean. Does HR have to know IT just to get that shit right?

Just wanted to say holla.
HELLO WORLD

...is it working. Did I do it right?

I googled - "What does refresh from windows right click menu do?"

I got a reply - "Search instead for why the hell it is there in first place"

People with "I am a senior, only I have to be right" mindset are really fustrating to work it.
It is not that hard to accept the truth. No one can be right all the time and no one gonna look down on you for that. You don't have to shove off-topic stuffs down the other people's throat when you realize you might be wrong.

Classic support ticket:

Me: "Uh... those numbers in your screenshot look right"

Customer: "Well it wasn't yesterday, looks like it is fixed now"

Me: "...."

-closes ticket-

It is only now that I can finally appreciate how brilliant PHP is.

When you're new to programming, you write some HTML + CSS, it looks good, but the dynamic part is missing. So, you install PHP and just… write dynamic parts right in your HTML? How crazy is that? You can even write regular code there too! Errors are logged right away, common features like DB driver and sessions are built in…

It's all about marketing. Next.js does exactly the same thing when they brag about writing SQL in React. When they do it, it's revolutionary. When PHP does it, PHP bad. Gotcha fam 🫤

shit, devrant app for UWP is awesome !
ranting from it right now !

me: Have you heard of Murphy's law?
them: Yeah.
me: What is it?
them: If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.
me: Right, have you heard of Cole's law?
them: No, what is it?

Look Who's happy! Thank you for the sticker @dfox and @trogus it came right when we celebrate our Anniversary. It is a very great Present from you

You know something is ABSOLUTELY NOT RIGHT when you see this code.

Even more when you notice the parameter is not being used at all!

Holy crap, it is a web api deployed in production. Imagine it being called!

Just closed a TOP PRIORITY ticket with "as designed"..

After a 1 minute talk with the developer who wrote this code, I found it is actually deliberate..
So I just closed the ticket..

but what really bothers me is:

That developer, is sitting right next to the QA.
HE IS SITTING RIGHT THERE..

We are a small startup company, everyone are sitting around the same table..

communicate much?

The performance is based on how much code you wrote that day.

Not mine though, i heard/read it from somewhere else.

But that’s fucked up, right?

So I decided to positively tackle the negative energy surrounding me these past few days. I tried to be productive. I went overboard, of course. Where is the fun in normal?

I wrote down all the urgent tasks I must die-die finish. Anyone closed with Asians will know the severity of the die-die and must combo. I started with tasks I have to finish in 3 days. Then in a week. Then in 2 weeks. I ended up creating more than 25 cards across my respective Trello boards.

The tasks that come to me always need minimum 3,4 working hours. Literally. The furthest deadline I see is Oct 15. The tasks I counted is more than 25. No appointments nor meetings were counted yet. It is not impossible. If I finish 2 tasks per day, 14 days is enough to complete all. I might have to continuously work 2 whole weeks of course. But it is still fine, right? Right, guys? Right? It's doable. Right?

I won't get any unskippable appointment within this 2 weeks. Right?

I won't get new tasks to finish within this 2 weeks. Right?

I won't have to guide other people how to do their tasks within this 2 weeks. Right?

I won't have to work other people's tasks when they absent within this 2 weeks. Right?

I won't have to entertain any annoying client because customer service team can't deal within this 2 weeks. Right?

I won't have to do other personal tasks within this 2 weeks. Right? (Like helping with creating a wedding slideshow for a friend marrying on Oct 28)

My life is totally fine. Right?

This is from a book I'm reading right now! I found it funny :-D

Pattern: What is a chaperone?

Shallan: That is someone who watches two young people when they are together, to make certain they don’t do anything inappropriate

Pattern: Inappropriate? Such as . . . dividing by zero?

Every time the VPN is not working I state loudly what a piece of crap it is. The devOps team sits right behind me and they don't seem bothered. I don't think they know they're the ones who need to fix it.

I was pair programming today with one of the seniors in VS. He thought it was weird that I had docked solution explorer to the left side instead of the default right. This makes me wonder, why is solution explorer docked to the right side by default when in almost every other editor (even VS Code), the "document overview" is always on the left?

"I have a great idea for a messaging app.
But I can't tell you what it is until you agree to make it for me, I can't pay you right now but I'll pay you back when we make tonnes of money!"

My startup idea: you create apps for people with bad ideas and the fees on a 1 year 'loan' with high penalties for failing to pay. Fair right?

I just wrote this code, let's see if the dude who is going to work with it after me will rant about checking state right after setting it as null.

I wonder if he will know why I did this ...

Client: "This is where the projector hooks up to a computer right?"

Me: "Yeah"

Client: "Awesome can it hook up to a laptop?"

When that guy *always* starts trying to aggressively optimize his code right after writing it. It really is the root of all evil. DK

I still can't get it why people looks at IT people as lowlife. If you need a new computer in your office I can get the right spec and help you to buy it. But moving the computer table is not my job 😠

The sales person who is sort of my boss walked in today and asked/told me:

Sales: We are using Bluemix, right?
Me: Yes?
Sales: Learn everything about it.
Me: Explain?
Sales: Spend 2 hours a day for the next 2 months studying up. You don't get less other responsibilities. Your commute is 1 hour each way, right? Put on some videos!
Me: ...
Sales: Bye!

I'm too addicted and used to coffee...Like I can literally drink it right before going to sleep and I'll get a pretty good one. How bad is this? :|

To all of us who procrastinate. Here is my new thinking that is making me slightly more productive! I would guess we all agree that the work is fucked up. But what we need to be productive, is an ego big enough to think that we are the only one smart enough to fix it! Just let your ego go!

Why code that project? Because other people would do it wrong! You fuck up the project? Fuck you, do it right or it won't be done right! My internal monologue from now on!

Does this mean I don't ask for help? Of course I ask! So that I can learn it, realise the other person is an idiot, then do it right using their technology!

If you don't do what you are planning to do, nobody will! Also most of the worlds problems can be solved with money, so that is why we should get rich. To fix the problems of the world.

Hope it helps someone :)

Sometimes I think I'm a bit masochistic... before turn off my computer I decided to check if my Visual Studio is up to date... nope, it isn't, downloading ~9 GB right now.

Right now, I'm tracing a bug that causes some of our data to be lost.
and I found a table with 'xxx' field on it. ohhh. what is it for?

Feeling so dumb right know.
I have a C# exam tomorrow (on paper) and i can't get my brain to think in code.
I can't focus, I can't concentrate. I don't remember things i normally know by heart. Is it just stress? (Everything is pretty hard atm, lots of stress, lots of problems).
What could i do? I'm pretty messed up right now...

Shower thought:

The anti-procrastination-technique "If it only takes five minutes or less, do it right now" is basically "Shortest Job First" for Real Life

Right now it is 03:47 and i just had a 15 hour workday to be able to make my 1 february deadline.... too bad i missed it by three hours and 47 minutes.
Im broken... good night you guys

This is new .-.
By the way it is best to not include package-lock.json right?

Hey, fellow dRs.
I may need some help regarding this circuit.

It is about an 8 Bit multifunctional shift register with a 2 Bit instruction set.

These work:
If "Sel" is 0x00, the circuit loads data into its 8 D flip flops.
If "Sel" is 0x03, the circuit replaces all data with 0s.

These don't work (they do, but they do it in a very strange way and end up filling 1s instead):
If "Sel" is 0x01, it is supposed to ringshift bitwise to the right.
If "Sel" is 0x02, it is supposed to ringshift to the left.

As mentioned above. They do it in a very strange way. If we have 10000000, it will shift to the left or right depending on the "Sel"'s binary value. Let us say we want to shift it right. The output will turn from 10000000 to 01000000 (which is what we want), BUT after that it adds another 1 to it: 01100000. It keeps doing it until every single Bit is a 1. Same thing happens with the left ringshift.

I will include the other circuits used in this circuit in the comment section.

Goddamnit I am an idiot. I just fried a microcontroller because I didnt have the right power supply and I used it anyway because fuck it, right? So now I am not a single step closer to the thing I was trying to do but I fucked up my hardware and it is a huge pain in the ass until I get a new one and figure out all the problems with it. Arghn

The pc in the bottom left is my gaming rig. The silly one at the right is from my preteen years i use it as server now. My laptop doesn't have dvi, so I can use the left monitor for gaming only😊

Am i the only one annoyed that at first the coffee is too hot, so you have to take small sips. But when its at the right temperature, you have to drink it fast so that it doesnt go cold.

Me: *pushes up code that should stop bad thing from happening*
Bad thing: *doesnt happen for a few hours*

Is..is it good??? Did i fix it????? Or does the thing just randomly not happen right now??????? We will never know.

Fucking bitcoin miners are making graphics cards I have no intention of buying right now more expensive and it makes me mad.

How am I supposed to spec out a machine when the graphics card is $150 more than it usually is?

(Internal IT communication)
- Which one is the right email account for xxxx ? aaaa@ourcompany.com or bbbb@ourcompany.com?
- Yes, that's the correct one.

"It is not an issue of which language is the best in and if itself. Rather, it's a question of which language is right for the job at hand" - Herbert Schildt

It's 8am and the server is down... Legit rant right? Sure, but it gets better. One of our buyers in purchasing printed out a 504 error and hand delivered it to my counterpart in our northern office.

I think the textbox (where I am writing right now) should be scrollable. And also the half of the screen is unusable.
Please fix it.

Um, why is it reversed? (The green start button is in the top-right)

Is scope creep worse when the Client does it or when internal departments do it to you?

Right now I can't fucking tell. ( :/ )

There are few developer who name their functions all wrong, but the functionality is fine. Then there comes those who name their functions right but the functionality is nothing close to what it says. There is this function I debugged. It's name is optimizeQuery. It does not optimize the query at all. Rather dismantles it. Also it made it's way to the production. 😅 Now I have to correct and optimize the optimizeQuery.

"hey, life is going ok right now." Bam! Death in the family. Damn it life, who debugged you?!

Slack's latest update just broke the darkify hack. It's 2019, right? It is unbelievable that there is no built-in dark mode for Linux, Mac, or even windows. I mean, they are aware of dark mode. It is available on mobile without trouble. Get it together, slack!

When I first started coding, I always assumed my code was working without testing it. Now, I assume the output is wrong if get it right on the first try :/

Best way to learn something new?

You keep repeating it wrongly until you are blue in the face, the whole world has gone red and the sweet release of death sounds favorable to your current dilemma.

Then, if you are lucky, you get it right out of the many many failed attempts.

But, what you have learned is far greater than getting it right once. You've learned many ways not to do it again.

I just styled something that appears to be an "parent" style change when a certain "child" was hovered.

Vanilla CSS. I think I've seen it all now.
My brain is spaghetti right now 🤪

Bodging is the only way to succeed.

It just need to work, right?

How difficult is it to get one thing right -v and --version should show bloody software version, not give me the usage prompt.

I think my laptop is living and hates me... I press shutdown (Yes the actual windows shutdown and not long-press power button) I close my Laptop, expecting it to shutdown, right? Nope... It goes to sleep mode and next time I open it up, it continues to shutdown... It's like it doesn't want to shutdown and is playing a joke on me.....

"If it’s a good idea and it gets you excited, try it, and if it bursts into flames, that’s going to be exciting too. People always ask, ‘What is your greatest failure?’ I always have the same answer—We’re working on it right now, it’s gonna be awesome!" - Jim Coudal

Right now. It's happening. I'm sitting on one of those seemingly impossible issues. I'm reading the exception and can't fathom how it can be true. I mean, the evidence is right there! The error message must be wrong! But that's the thing, it never is. It's always something stupid and obvious. After you figure it out, you shake your head and laugh at yourself for not seeing it. It's all shits and giggles after you figure it out, but that's not where I'm at right now. Right now I'm being laughed at by this stack trace. It's mocking me even!
Jokes on you though, because I'm coming for you!!

Ok so I wrote my VGA text mode driver in rust, how would I do create like graphics and stuff? Because all it does right now is display text.

Why is everyone on this platform close to a certain timezone resulting me being alone here right now. Just woke up. Can't sleep. It sucks

So, apparently, content entry is front end development.
It's all right there on our old site, just copy and paste it ... Complete with millions of annoying span and font tags you used.

The feels when your PR is valid but the owner closes it right away.

Any JavaScript developers out there willing to help me out with something?

I have an interview question that I like to ask candidates that no one ever seems to get right. But, to me, it seems pretty basic, so I expect MOST JavaScript developers at almost any level of expertise to get it, and I like it generally because it demonstrates some core knowledge of JavaScript concepts and syntax.

But I want to verify that my feelings about it are reasonable, because give how few ever seem to get it right (and I'm talking across literally hundreds of interviews, MAYBE 2 people have ever gotten it right), I'm starting to wonder if I'm right or not.

Look at this code, and then answer the question after. Please do so off the top of your head and without testing anything since that's normally the experience a candidate would have. I'll give the answer after some time for anyone who gets it wrong but is curious.

But this isn't about YOU getting it right or not, and it's not about whether it's the best way to do something in JavaScript or anything like that, it's just about whether it's a reasonable question and whether my expectation that MOST JavaScript developers should get it right is fair.

const O = {
sayHello : function() { alert("Hello"); }
};
const S = "sayHello";

Question: using ONLY the variables O and S (and you MUST use both), write code that executes the sayHello function.

Thanks!

I am at the meeting and I keep hearing bird signing, wind humming, sounds of spring. It seems boss is in a forest's cabin right now while every other dev is in a cubicle...

Why commenting is important?

If you are commenting a variable or method and you can't find the right way of explaining it, there's a problem with your code

If the code is running, then it must be doing what I want. Right guys? Is it normal to be this paranoid even after lots of runs of the code without crashing?

is it fair to say linux is the most popular operating system kernel?

i mean, it powers android, the most popular mobile os, chrome os, nearly all servers, raspberry pi’s, embedded devices and linux desktop operating systems. it has the be the most popular kernel, right?

RIDDLE!!!
Find the right word and make sure it makes sense =D

"(blank) is hard. (blank) is even easier."

The person that( breakes the stereotypes and )define new rules is always more successful than the person that follows the rules.

#just_a_thought

It literally haunts me that I've used jQuery in a reactjs project, I'm not saying that jQuery is bad but using it does not seems right, I can't sleep, always thinking about a solution, fml

One coffee down and my eyes are just glazing over my code and wondering... right... what is it I gotta do now ... ? What day is it ... Where am I ...

F**k this. Exactly The same site is displaying differently. Only thing changed? On left access is by local IP, on right by URL using no-ip.

Apparently it grabs CSS from project on another port

Is it morally right to leave your company after 6 months in if you feel you're not in the right place? Given that in the interview they told you they are looking for someone to engage for at least 2 years?

i always assume that my code is right so when the compiler gives an error, its hard for me to find out why it gives an error and why it doesnt work. my mind is too convinced that it is correct.

i guess i have to sleep it off 😴 maybe tomorrow it will be easier to fix

I had a lunch lecture on AI today, and the guy who gave it was like: don't worry AI is like really stupid right now it won't take over the world. in fact, AI right now is about as smart as a mouse!

my thoughts: how good are you at catching mice? because I don't feel like running after one for sure

How hard can it be to make a calculator app. Apparently Microsoft cannot get it right. You might say hey, but it works already. No it does not. See in math 1-(-1)=2 because the double minus sign cancel each other and turn into a plus. Well the w10 calculator app, just does 1-1=0 and show that this is the result. Yes this is the result of one minus one. This is not the result of one minus minus one. This is basic math .... Stop focusing on the interface and code the base right Microsoft.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s a duck, right? So if this duck is not giving you the noise that you want, you’ve got to just punch that duck until it returns what you expect. -Patrick Ewing

Prettier breaks mixin formatting and there's absolutely no way to configure it.
Disgusting, right?
And this is why "opinionated" is a negative adjective and its positive counterpart is "adaptable".

"XYZ is an API that allows you to throw a bunch of stuff at it, and it will generally do the right thing" - best documentation ever!

OpenCV is like an USB port: You never have the right input format and it only works after converting the damn thing multiple times!

Linear algebra is a hammer that actually works well on things akin to a nail when wielded right. Do you have a similar wildcard that works everytime you try it?

who's so stressed out right now? me.

why? i need to change the access token in my code because it was changed

why is that stressful? because there is no variable for it, it was hardcoded

who coded that? me.

when? when the whole dev team was drunk asf

fml

Well beginning today, I hope to balance it with devRant... This is considered social life right?

Right after breaking my camera lens, my brother again broke my precious favorite mouse. I don't know what to do about it. After all, he is my brother.

Question PHP folks. Is it a standard to write:
public function hair()?

Writing only:
function hair() is just the same thing to the above. It will default to "public" hair right? 🤔 maybe just a PSR-2 standard or for readability? Thanks!

That moment when js is like: bro wtf are doing? You don't declare variables types here.

then you're like: wtf this is right, it works. until you look at the js console and you grab a cup of bleach.

I want to use Babel or Typescript for the first time. Because as I read it is the way to go, when compressing JavaScript and make it browser compatible. If that's false, please correct me.

There's a question I've got about this. Right now I am using a PHP router file dealing with requests and selecting the right .js file and compresses it. So I can write like modular JavaScript functions and include them when needed.

My question is, what do I have to change in my setup to switch to the mentioned technologies?

A non dev has no right to pass judgement whether a dev is good or not. Be it engg manager or a product manager or any other manager

just read this, wanted to share it:

Jesus at Last Supper:
(breaks bread and gives it to them) Take, this is my body.
(pours wine) Drink, this is my body.
(opens a jar of mayo)...

Judas: I'm gonna stop you right there

Developing the front end and THEN developing the back end is a horrible idea, right guys? I've been placed on my first big project with my employer and this is the way the client is deciding to do it (my employer is not making the backend). I just need to know that I'm not crazy and that this is usually never the way people go about software development. Right guys? Please send help.

Is it polite/appropriate to tell a recruiter that I'll get in touch with them in several weeks? Their offer's really interesting, but right now I'm in charge of a large project and I don't want to leave it unfinished.

If no one has asked your question on StackOverflow, chances are there is a typo right in front of your eyes and you are missing it.

Guy: Hey you know computers right
Me: sure

This guy takes his computer apart during class and wants me to see what it wrong with it. I'm like dude what the heck the Professor is teaching! Freaking crazy.

Vodafone Wifi requires multiple attemps, before it thinks my copy pasted password is right

Playing articulate! with family and the word was zero. My description was "What is the first number?".

They didn't get it right first time.

Is it okay for me to fork my own repo to an alt account so I can have my multi-branch repo but not have to commit everything to the production repo right away?

It is so funny how this PM got dizzy when I started detailing all the possibilities of her generic requirements and asking for clarification and we started drawing how the fuck she wants in to be.

But "just put all data on the report" should be simple, right?

Not a 2 hours discussion on one topic out of 10, right?

Not.

It is Monday 1:22PM here and what is on my mind? Sleeping. I freaking want to sleep right now.

What the hell do I do to keep awake #_#

My left cortex: You have a paper to write @poster983. Put devrant down.

My right cortex: NO! Enjoy yourself. You have a study hall tomorrow. Do it then.

My left cortex: Remember, you already said that about history. Best to do it now!

*mouth makes farting noise*

My Right cortex: COME ON! IT'S HUCKLEBERRY FINN. JUST USE SPARK NOTES! DO IT L A T E R!

My left cortex: fuck you right.

My right cortex: right back at you.

*Snapchat buzzes*
My full brain: OK HALT THE DEVRANTS! THE BOYFRIEND IS TEXTING!

(Notice the recursion here?). This is why I can't ever write papers.
Same thing applies to when I'm programing. I end up spending 2 hours on something that only should have taken me 1.

My left cortex: Stop Ranting!

Help me.
💩

the look and chat project managers give right before they tell you the specs changed.

pm: heyyy
dev: what is it?
pm: how are you?
dev :{realising the spec changed}

Is it right to think when you learn one language completely, then it is very easy to learn other languages?
Like today i am watching php tutorials and i see it's just syntax changes and everything is java despite of it is interpreted

So, right now we upload production code by means of FTP.
I said it would be better to use continuous deployment using Docker, but they said it was overkill (I work at a small company).

Because manually uploading by means of FTP is so much better right...

So I have this code written in node:

Function connect(){
const client = net.blahblah

client.on('close', () => {
Connect()
}
}

As the connect is called from within the close call back, it wouldn't be recursive right? Like if it disconnected a million times, it shouldn't throw a recursion error or use up a bunch of memory right? Or am I thinking about it wrong?

does life get harder than a fuck every single day or is it just me? 2pac was right, only strong do survive in this world

About to change to a new internal team next Friday. So thrilled about it! But god, motivation right now is only downhill until the move.

My colleague is right now cracking her knuckles. I don't mind her doing that once in a while but she's doing it every two fucking minutes.

Soo fucking irritating.

Sometimes developers forget how to take a pragmatic approach to solve issues. Just because it is shiny does not mean it is right for the job.

MS Teams is not my favourite app right now. To be honest, it has never been, and will most probably never be.

life as the only dev at work:

boss: so the new system is finished now right?
me: its finished enough for people to log in and test it
boss: so its finished?
me: .... suuure

Need to find the visual studio process to kill it because the app is frozen. Pen task manager > processes> sort by memory usage. right there at the top...always at the top...2gb+ usage.

Client: How you will know if there is an error on your codes?

Me: I know it if the color of the text codes seems not right

Update on my GitHub ( Classic ) project.

Now one item / note / .. is stuck?
If I try to move it to any other column
it just snaps right back (( ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ))

Somehow nextjs is super powerful and blazing fast. But the way how the fucking frontend and backend is cluttered together, intervined up down left right sideways and in fucking circles its SO fucking confusing and difficult as shit to work with

Is it just me?

Taught me just because something looks right it doesn't mean it is right. Ex: memory leaks, connection strings, 32 length passwords, and good looking women. Oh wait that last one could be a rant by itself cause you can't find a good looking woman that isn't crazy and won't wake you up if you do manage to get to bed

Is it just me or there is always a work emergency (or clients suddenly needing something new done right now) on the day before leaving for holidays?

What’s the percentage of digitalized vs non digitalized human civilization data right now ?
Is it pen, printer, video tape still winning or hard drive ?
How it progressed so far ?

Everyone that says it sucks because there is a new framework everyday, dude, you know that just because there is a new framework it's not a must for you to change your stack to it right? Also, you can find very valuable frameworks with this diversity

Trying to update yarn from choco.
It didn't detect npm-lts
Got BS by install npm 9.8.0
Nothing is working right now 🤦‍♂️

I wanna go to gym. But it's 1clock past midnight right now.
God damn it

!Rant

Was just wondering using which tech devRant website was built?
Sorry its a reRant I recall seeing it before but can't find it again
I know the app is using React right?

Is it just me, or do REST API's literally rule the world right now?

Feeling like I can automate the universe.

But this is a real question. Are there reasons to avoid using web API's rather than sending data through some kind of shared database? I guess I'm not even sure what the alternatives would be right now... Are there disadvantages I should know about?

What to do when you want to strangle a coworker, but he is probably just trying to do his job, the way he thinks , is the right way to do it ?

DevRant isnt the right place to use a easy password... Which is why i changed it from 1234 to 123456...

An open science. Or is there already one? I want to make it mainstream. I want collaboration for scientists, researchers and engineers. The right mix of stackoverflow and collaborizm.

I'm binge watching Person of Interest right now and I would like to know the community feels about it.

I feel that it is still futuristic and we aren't there yet. What do you think?