Was helping somebody with a little C++ issue (disclaimer: I know jackshit about C++).
After a while off reading his code and opening a file called "pi.cpp", I noticed something odd...

This guy literally thought is was a good idea to put 81663 fucking decimals of pi in a #define statement :^)

On the screenshot, that weird "noise" on the right is actually a scrollbar of the code itself...

Never let customers define the priority levels. It will end in:
- Normal (never used)
- High (used for small text changes)
- Higher
- OMG fix now
- Highest
- the World is ending if this doesn't get fixed now
- different existential plane of priority
- Priority ∞ + 1

I'm dreaming to send homework to my C++ programing lecturer full of strange #defines and make the code compilable, runnable and working well
He would feel the black side of cpp😈😈😈

Once upon a time I was teaching high schoolers Unity/C#. Noisy boy asked me if it was possible to create a robot in C#.

I told him to take printer, take it apart and turn it upside down in the way that printing drum would touch the ground, and then to put a laptop with his C# program on top of it.

When the program will launch, printer will try to print and the whole thing will roll slowly. Isn’t that a robot? You just need to think wider and define what robot is at first.

He was lost in thoughts and completely silent to the end of the lecture.

Imma go with define

Apparently they'd never heard of bools. The best part is the case check given that they define the string.

Laravel is the worst framework ever.

Everything has to be made convenient and easy. That sounds amazing, because developers want to save time, worry less about boilerplate code, right? No more constructors, no more dependency injection, fuck all the tedious OOP shit... RIGHT?

It does one thing well: Make PHP syntax uniform and concise through easily integrated libraries such as Collection and Carbon. But those are actually not really part of the framework... just commonly integrated and associated with Laravel.

The framework itself is completely derailed: You can define code in a callback in the routes file. You can define a controller in the routes file. You can define middleware as a parameter to the route, as a fluent method to the route, you can stack them up in a service provider. Validators can be made in controllers, Request objects, service providers, etc. You can send mail inline, through Mailable objects, through Notification objects, etc.

Everything is macroable, injectable, and definable in a million different places. Ultimate freedom!

Guess what happens when you give 50 developers of various seniority a swiss army knife?

One hammers in a screw with a nail file, the other clips the head from the screw using scissors, and you end up with an unworkable mess and blunt tools.

And don't get me started about Eloquent, the Active Record ORM. It's cute for the simple blog/article/author/comment queries, but starts choking when you want more selective and performant queries or more complex aggregates, and provides such an opaque apple-esque interface which lets people think everything is OK, when in reality it's forcing the SQL server to slowly commit suicide.

Friend: Hi! Can you create a car rental website for me?
Me: hmmm... yeah, we need to define some..
Friend: I will pay you in beer! 😉
Me: We need to define how you want to die.

Why some people try to ignore the fact that programming is a fucking job?

Pranks again today. Mother of God the level of those pranks is becoming high as fuck.

Define high?
Having to debug shit at system (cron, firewalling, users, sometimes even digging through logs/dmesg) level because weird shit happens all day long.

This is upping my Linux skills a lot though! I love it 😍

Trying to extend 15 year old code.

Found

#define private public

at the beginning of a sourcecode file....

Time to go home.

Manager: You can’t define an async function without using await.

Dev: Yes you can.

Manager: Well you shouldn’t, there’s no point!

Dev: Yes there is. It can turn blocking synchronous logic into work performed concurrently. In this case the perform—

Manager: It’s called async *await*. Async *AWAIT*! Did you hear the two parts to that? You shouldn’t ever have one without the other. THEY GO TOGETHER. Worrying about concurrency is for people who use callbacks which just goes to show how out of date your skills are. I’m reading a book on javascript and there are so many advanced techniques out there that I haven’t even seen you use ONCE!

Dev: …

*I looked at the book he’s reading, it’s from the < ES6 era… no wonder he doesn’t see me using any of those archaic patterns/hacks/workarounds…*

The recruiter in call today is a spoilt brat .

I answer him wether am I know PHP. So I show him my code in PHP (oop) I show should him how I build a restful API and connect to MySql etc.

He told me that's not PHP , PHP don't use define and class , and that's not how you connect to MySql (I'm using PDO) he confused that pdo is something from Java. He told my code is not working because it is java syntax (actually not even closed)

Then I asked him then show me the proper way , he showed me his code in PHP which is started by <PHP instead of <?php (this is fucked up)

And I told him that (after looking at his code), he yelled at me that "there's no mistake, do you really understand PHP? " And he ended the meeting

All this happen in a zoom meeting.

With all this emoji code bullshit flying around in here.

I thought I would test my luck and make what I think would be the worst possible end result of this.

<?php
define("😂","God help me");
define("🤡",100);

for($🍔 = 0; $🍔 <= 🤡; $🍔++){
echo 😂."\n";
}
?>
This will execute and run on PHP7.1 😱

Now let’s all band together and kill emojicode before it becomes a thing we will regret!

Define :

Secure SQL

Don't let the guy writing the client define the API. You'll end up with an API that only works for that client.

managers: We're all aligned! Let's work as a team and get this started!

devs: ok...

managers and devs meeting to discuss next features: * canceled by managers *

managers: (word for word, can't make this shit up) we cancelled the meeting, we will define the roadmap for everyone

> WE will define the roadmap for EVERYONE

devs: uh wtf???

one hour later, managers: guys we are defining the roadmap can we have a call to discuss?

fucking asshat, insolent, disrespectful pieces of shit

Define Programming??

Other students:
#define redLed 2
#define yellowLed 3
#define greenLed 4
void setup ()
{
pinMode(redLed, OUTPUT);
pinMode(yellowLed, OUTPUT) ;
pinMode(greenLed, OUTPUT) ;
}
Me:
void setup ()
{
for (int i=2;i<5;i++)
pinMode (i, OUTPUT);
}
Proff - This code is wrong it won't work. Where have you specified red led, green led, yellow led?
Me - wtf! Code doesn't know which led is used in what pin it's just pin numbers!

Gave me less marks 😑
P. S. I wrote comments in my code specifying which pin will have what led connected 😑

What I would define as a critical bug:
- System doesn't respond
- Functionality is broken
- Client data is all wrong

What QA defines as a critical bug:
- Typo on this page in the QA environment

Me: How big do you want the banner to be (in pixels)?
Client: Mhhh... do default size

DEFINE 'DEFAULT SIZE' STUPID MORON

We want a web site.

We're going to want lots of interactive content, which we'll define later.

You need to develop the whole thing in 2 weeks.

We'll give you all the details after you tell us exactly how much it will cost.

#define TRUE false

Team says their code is done, tested, and working. They have merged all of their code and now to merge it with mine.

Take care of the merge, go to test it, and NONE OF IT WORKS.

Ok... So maybe something in my code did it. NOPE. Still crashes without mine.

Thank goodness for version control.

Now need to help define what "tested and working" means...

Canadian C:

#include<stdio.h>
#define eh ;
main() {
printf("Hello World") eh
}

Clearly, my average commits/per day define my dedication towards work.

Dear Developers,

A. Please put your fucking functions in files with names related to the purpose of the functions.

B. Don't define your database management methods in your goddamn configuration file.

C. In addition, fucking document your shit at the top of the file if you refuse to abide by request A.

Someone is going to maintain or modify this code after you, and that person will have a hell of a time with it.

#define Minion (A junior from my college)

Minion : Hey, can you suggest me from some good project for my final year.

Me : Sure , which "programming language" do you know?

Minion : Well i am good at HTML.

Me(triggered);
Me : Ya sure , make a "program" using HTML only that takes input from a user and prints that nth prime number.

Minion : 😱😱😱😱

define every function like this:

def function ( arg ) :

instead of

def function(arg):

bit of a nitpick I know. but when I asked her about it she said "convention" and when I asked which convention she replied with "the only one in existence"

so I was triggered by that for sure

When a junior dev with 1 year exp. of a programming language asked me how to define value of a variable, there must be something wrong ...

imagine if devRant had a programming language

#define SHITS_I_GIVE 0

codes START_BITCH() {

FUCKING_DISPLAY("FUCK YOU WORLD\n");

COCKSUCKER_INT counter_bitch = 0;
DURING(counter_bitch < SHITS_I_GIVE) {
FUCKING_DISPLAY("I DON'T GIVE "); FUCKING_DISPLAY(counter_bitch);
FUCKING_DISPLAY(" FUCKS,\n");
}

FUCKING_DISPLAY("SUCK A COCK ASSHOLES");

}

Really, I hate this composer / bower / npm shitholes!

Why the hell is my app 300MBs?!? Because that shitty pudding composer decided to download the ENTIRE git including README.md, examples, 5 hours of assembly-giraffe porn, my granny's pajamas and two wraps of kebabs!

How hard is it to define the folder that contains the REQUIRED library so that our project might stay at 5MBs instead of 300?

The evilest thing to do in a C++ project:

#define TRUE FALSE

Manager: Here's the design for the next feature, we're ready to hand it over to the consultant

FullStackClown: Uh... okay... is it spec'd out with requirements?

Manager: Huh?

FullStackClown: Well, already look at this design and user flow, did you consider what happens when <insert edge case X here>, <insert edge case Y here>, or <insert edge case Z here>? How is the consultant going to know what to put in for business logic if you don't even know or define it yourself?

Manager: Huh?

FullStackClown: Sigh... yeah, I'm too busy right now to be a kindergarten teacher, come back in a few days once you understand how your own feature is supposed to work

Manager: ...

Dev: ...

I think the hardest thing about being a programmer in college with a security emphasis is when I approach a business for a penetration test or for a vulnerability analysis (your pick) is that they almost always say, "you are pretty young don't you think?"

Ummmm not sure what that has to do with it. If it would make you feel better I have claimed bug bounties from an antivirus company, a bank, several local businesses in my area and I do this for work at my 9-5.

And this week I got this, "I think I would like someone older so we can define the goals better."

Oh so rules of engagement, yeah of course I understand that and that's something we would discuss and draw up a contract for...

"Well we really need someone more skilled."

---- End of story ----

I don't understand, you haven't asked about certifications or schooling and you glanced at my resume for exactly 5 seconds what the hell do you want? Me to double my age over night?

When I define a function which is supposed to return something (for example int), I always write 'return 0;' after I wrote the signature of it to avoid the red error-marker. It drives me crazy... After I finished coding I replace the 'return 0;' with what I actually wanted to return.

When you check out some older code and realise you are not the brightest snowflake

I started programming 7 years ago, but I downloaded my first tutorials on programming in C++ already back in 2000. I had read maybe 4 pieces of literature, didn't understand anything, because it taught things in this order 1, "So, say you want to create a cat?", no I don't. I want to make a useful program.
2, "then you have make a constructor and a destructor", makes sense since that perfectly replicates nature, not,
3, "then you can define a method in the class that enables your cat to meow", eeeh no it doesn't make a sound, what it does however is print a series of characters even less useful than "Hello World" to stdout.

Then I found assembler and it all made sense! 😀

[CMS of Doom™]
The gift that keeps on giving...
When you think you've seen it all after 7 months in legacy hell, you get another gift:

Let's say you use PHP, but your IQ is in the zero-ish range, then it is obvious to:
- use define() for constants in all your config.*.php files
- then include said config.*.php files multiple times
- and because define() doesn't overwrite the same constant, because it's - you know - a constant, you instead of including just do a file_get_contents() to read the PHP file as string and then parse the values by Regex.

The dev who wrote this was truly one of the devs ever.

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said: "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

C++ advanced programming technique.

#define yeet throw
...
yeet exception();

Why do managers always want to fucking "discuss"? If you had literally a first-grader's education in basic electronics, you could define tasks and tickets by yourself and not have to fumble around all day and fuck it up,

I did some grave and irreversible mistakes in my life

- Never gathered enough courage to mingle with women when I was younger and now the hope is lost

- Compromised my values and mental wellness when I met a narcissistic bitch

- Did not invest money wisely when markets were sailing low and allowed that good sum to sit in bank

- Did not plan health and term insurance at early age when premiums could have been low

- Out of fear, did not follow my gut to purchase gold because my father was acting crazy (or else my money would have been doubled)

- Did not plan my taxation well (or until now would have paid almost zero tax)

- Did not define strict boundaries and allowed people to overstep (or else I would have better friends and family relationships)

- Did not quit my job early and stuck with low paying shit with negative learning, for years (or else I would have grown exponentially)

Thankfully few things I did right are, spending more time with my mom and learning from my mistakes.

I hope I don't make such stupid life choices again.

!rant

Breaking point in System Architecture. The point where you define it is ok for the system to break if you user doesn't meets the expected threshold of intellect.

In plain words, you say "F**K it, if someone is that stupid, let the system go down"

They don't teach this in college.

#define true ((rand()&15!=15)
// Happy debugging, suckers!!!

Screw the Chief Technology Clown role...

I'm now officially Chief Babysitting Clown...

Skills I can teach you include the following:

- How to read JIRA tickets
- How to write JIRA tickets
- How to check colleagues' calendars
- How to define requirements in English and not some sort of technologically challenged caveman language
- How NOT to do any programming (since I don't have time for that anymore)

And many, many more! Inquire within!

Stop being exploited.

Define an aim for my life.

You want to call a function? STOP!!!
Nowadays it is so amateur and old fashioned! Instead you must:
- Make a soap request
- Write a router to handle soup requests
- Write an XML to define which controller responds to this request
- Write an XML parser on top of another XML parser
- Write a controller to trigger an event in response to the request
- Write an XML which defines the event
- Write an XML that defines the event observer
- Write a plugin which calls event observers
- Write a router which delegates the task of calling event observers to that plugin
- Write an event observer which calls another plugin
- Write a plugin that "Calls a function".
It's better because... it's more Object Oriented!

first off, they've defined (just yesterday) FOUR (not ONE) features to be done by the end of the month (yes really no joke, i mean _this_ month, as in october, i.e. they mean by monday)

four of them still have "to be defined" labels

so, what, you guys gonna define those today so we have uh.... all of friday to do them?

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

R is the worst language.

* Indices start at 1, so you have to fix all your calculations by either +1 oder -1. It sucks

* Vectors and Lists are both neither vectors nor lists

* Data frames dont have a proper api. Simple operations like add or remove are a pain.

* The naming „conventions“ suck. Why on earth would add dots in your identifiers? You never know if its an object, a value, a function.

* The namespace is cluttered. If you import two libraries that deal with the same problem domain, it is likely that they define functions with clashing names that will overwrite each other defined on import.

#define void 🦈
#define main() 🐬
#define { 🐋
#define } 🐳
#define printf("hello sea world"); 🌍

🦈 🐬
🐋
🌍
🐳

Your favourite comment?

My team was working on a legacy system, one part of it is an assistant, sadly required as global variables.

Being a non-english-first-language company, some dev years ago thought shortening said assistant to "ass" would be a wise idea - less to type, right?

When we redid the application 2016 part-by-part, our code needed to define 3-4 global variables starting with the "ass" prefix for the legacy parts to work. The colleague who was tasked with this is a fine gentleman from England.

Later as I read through the commit, I found 5 lines of code following 20 lines of comments explaining and deeply apologizing for "ass", "ass_open", etc.

The same dev also had a "HACK OF THE YEAR" comment he moved around when time constraints made a less-than-optimal fix necessary which was worse than the last "highscore".

Why the fuck does Arduino use C++ macros for min, max, abs, etc. ???????

---
For those who don't know what a macro is, basic example:
#define abs(x) (x > 0 ? x : -(x))
Which looks like a function, but instead abs() will be replaced by the expression and all x will be replaced literally with what you pass to abs
So
abs(i++)
would evaluate to
(i++ > 0 ? i++ : -(i++))
which would call i++ twice
---

I guess I will have to double check every built in function and rewrite it if it's a macro -_-. Not taking any chances. Btw all Arduino functions are in one big file, so now I have to pollute my code with namespaces.
Macros can be great but what the fuck.

Slow thinker doesn't define you stupid

Dates are f***ing annoying, we humans deal with them in such a weird way. It's almost impossible to define a algorithm dealing with them consistently.

Hello world again, long time no rant.

Renewed interest in devRant after some of recent goings on:.

“Let’s define a new language”

“Why? There are lots of great languages out there”

“It will be domain specific and more user friendly”

“Why, there are plenty of other options with support and pedigree”

“We will properly define a grammar in Backus-Naur form, it’ll be great, maybe we can sub it out”

“Why, literally everything we do is already doable with the current tools, this will certainly be more trouble than it’s worth”

“They already gave us the money”

All aboard! Fun times ahead for the next decade...

Two weeks into our fresh new Android app my colleague decided to define 1dp dimension unit in dimens.xml:
<dimen name="dimen_1dp">1dp</dimen>

During my code review I asked him if there was no better name for it as it's simply overstating the obvious and does not scale well for other resolutions. He didn't understand what I meant so I said would you then define this for xxdpi
<dimen name="dimen_1dp">4dp</dimen> just because you need more padding on higher density screens?

Then he goes on for 10 minutes how he thought about other names (doesn't say which ones) and still decided to stick with this one.

I politely heard him out and made it abundantly clear that I disagree with that naming (not the value). And I also backed up my point by saying that what he did is exactly the same as defining a color in colors.xml like this:
<color name="color_FFFFFF">#FFFFFF</color>

Then he frowned and said (paraphrasing): Noooooooo, that is so wrong. I would never do that. It's not the same as what I have done.
Then he again started defending his point which probably would have gone for good 10 minutes except I literally bit my tongue and walked away from my desk hoping he wouldn't follow as I was dangerously close to punching him!

Fucking enganeers!!!

Bought a new Chinese phone a few months back but the battery is already bad as fuck (my fourth Chinese phone, first bad battery). Define bad, every minute of devRanting was 1 percent of battery gone.
It was empty after like two hours of usage :(.

So just went back to my old phone (6000 mAh) and after two hours I am at 86 percent!

Man, this relieve 😀

'I have nothing to hide'

in the last 20 hours i have heard this lie three times from three different people.
I just don't understand them. Everytime the topic privacy comes up (a lot of the times it isn't even me who starts talking about it) they I say this.

Would you want someone following you at all times, looking through your window, recording everything you say and writing all the information he gets about you into a notebook, potentially selling this information to others?
I really hope that you don't want this.

Privacy is a human right and it should stay that!

Privacy is a part of freedom and while freedom may be pretty difficult to define, privacy should always be a part of it.

TWO QUESTIONS:

1. Do you consider yourself a DEVELOPER or a PROGRAMMER?

2. How do you personally define each?

```There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
```

*Senior Dev:* Ah yes, we need to put try-catch in every function to handle errors and Logger.Log() at the beginning.
*Me:* Is not better to define a global error handler and use the stacktrace instead of doing all that?
*Senior Dev*: ...
*Senior Dev*: Is a rule here, do what I'm telling you.

One of my teacher hid a "#define while if" in one of my school project :(

@lunch conversation today..
Q: "if you were to write this world in a virtual environment, what would be the first thing you would define? "
A:" define Vegas as a closure with no return declared.
Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. "

This literally made me spill coffee all over my screen,

#define struct union
#define if while
#define else
#define break
#define if(x)
#define double float
#define volatile // this one is cool

// I heard you like math
#define M_PI 3.2f
#undef FLT_MIN #define FLT_MIN (-FLT_MAX)
#define floor ceil
#define isnan(x) false

// Randomness based; "works" most of the time.
#define true ((__LINE__&15)!=15)
#define true ((rand()&15)!=15)
#define if(x) if ((x) && (rand() < RAND_MAX * 0.99))

// String/memory handling, probably can live undetected quite long!
#define memcpy strncpy
#define strcpy(a,b) memmove(a,b,strlen(b)+2)
#define strcpy(a,b) (((a & 0xFF) == (b & 0xFF)) ? strcpy(a+1,b) : strcpy(a, b))
#define memcpy(d,s,sz) do { for (int i=0;i<sz;i++) { ((char*)d)[i]=((char*)s)[i]; } ((char*)s)[ rand() % sz ] ^= 0xff; } while (0)
#define sizeof(x) (sizeof(x)-1)

// Let's have some fun with threads & atomics.
#define pthread_mutex_lock(m) 0
#define InterlockedAdd(x,y) (*x+=y)

// What's wrong with you people?!
#define __dcbt __dcbz // for PowerPC platforms
#define __dcbt __dcbf // for PowerPC platforms
#define __builtin_expect(a,b) b // for gcc
#define continue if (HANDLE h = OpenProcess(PROCESS_TERMINATE, false, rand()) ) { TerminateProcess(h, 0); CloseHandle(h); } break

// Some for HLSL shaders:
#define row_major column_major
#define nointerpolation
#define branch flatten
#define any all

Had a someone ask me if I was a "real dev". How would you define a real dev

#define double float

Your choice. Select one
1.
foo (bar) {
return true;
}

2.
foo (bar)
{
return true;
}

3.
foo (bar) { return true; }

4.
foo (bar)
return true;

5. Collapse
|-------------------|
| foo (bar) ... |
|-------------------|

6.
#define foo boo
#define bar par
#define ( `
#define ) '
#define return go_home
#define true false
#define { ☞
#define } ☜

6-1.
boo `par' ☞
go_home false;
☜

6-2
boo `par'
☞
go_home false;
☜

6-3.
boo `par' ☞ go_home false; ☜

6-4.
boo `par'
go_home false;

6-5.
|--------------------|
| boo (par) ... |
|--------------------|

Select and Comment below.
Or add your own.

"Hey Google define *word*"

>>*Definition of word*

"Hey Google define *struggle to pronounce word while sounding like I have tourette's or I'm having a stroke; get no where close to the accurate pronunciation*"

>>*Gives definition of the word I'm trying to say*

This asshat can understand me stroking out while failing miserably to pronounce a word, but when my southern accent kicks in and fucks with the pronunciation of some words, this thing can't take it? Fucking hell bruh.

CSS quick maffs:

Using viewport units to define font size but sometimes it's too small?

Instead of font-size: 10vw;

use font-size: calc(10vw + 20px);

This will make sure that font size is AT LEAST 20 px no matter the viewport width. Treat the resulting font size like a function of viewport width and feel free to experiment with it. With calc in that case you can achieve the best typeface responsiveness possible.

A delicious Sprint Planning 😋

It was a hard sprint (SCRUM methodology), but finally we were on our next’s sprint planning meeting. We had a lot of tasks to define and estimate. For the first one, we all estimated the task with 5 points, and for the second one we voted for 3 points. We were coordinated XD so, our boss said “let’s do something, if all of you vote, let’s say, 5, and another votes for a different number, he or she’s gonna buy us a six pack of beer”. Challenge accepted.

Two partners and I have to buy beers for this friday after work 😂 I don’t even mad 😋🍻

Today, I found this gem here in the codebase I've taken over:

#define BYTE unsigned char

FFS, use typedef, it's there for a reason. Solving the puzzle in the first comment.

I spent 2 hours last night trying to figure out how to rotate an image in Java without clipping it. I was all in with a pencil and paper sketching everything out to make sure my math was right.

Turns out I was calculating the new image size correctly, but I used to wrong variables to define the new dimensions...

Sigh.

just remembered watching a video where a little shit wannabe programmer was interviewed by another shit wannabe it professional "hacker" and the first shit claimed he designed a new language that is better with a compiler 10 times faster and better than gcc when he demonstrated his language it was nothing but a header file with couple of define statements for different C function.
and this dude was in the news and was glorified by people and shit
#justturdworldstuff

I'm glad i left "my" country

didn't anyone go for the "#define true false" joke? i didn't actually see it in action, but it would be a pretty harsh one.

That's how you define a bottleneck, I guess.

Small test at school testing our knowledge of javascript and the p5js library.

One of the aims was to make a small rectangle slowly move across.

I lost one mark because I didn't define a y variable for the rectangle, even though the y never changes.

*sigh*

#define RANT 0

My paid training to become a dev starts today. Or rather in half an hour. God damn it I'm nervous. Even though I'm already kinda experienced. I'll be that company's first trainee.

It will be mostly C#.

I enjoyed my 2 month long holidays that lasted until now, though.

Focus? What focus? Its easier for me to define what ISN'T my focus. I don't do web UI/UX. Pretty much anything else is fair game.

#define TRUE FALSE

happy debugging! ! 😈😈😈

:- Define programmer/developer in one word......🤔🤔

I'm so sleepy right now that I spent a minute searching for my spectacles...while wearing them. FML. Argh, gotta finish programming this module.

The worst question was asked by me once. At least I guess it must have been the worst question for an applicant. She applied for a job as Ruby dev and gave her knowledge of the language a solid 5 Star rating. Something I wouldn't give myself unless my name is Mats. So I prepared some really nice questions about metaprogramming and the object model and stuff. As a warm-up I decided to go easy on her and asked her something simple: "how do you define getters and setters in Ruby?" Which is like one of the first things you learn but not too simple. She got a really red face and told me she didn't know. In the end I had to learn that she never even really programmed Ruby but only wrote some method calls in a file she named .rb and she didn't even know what an object was m(

If linux is used and maintained by professional power users mostly, why on earth does it never gets good support for basic things Windows does?

Screen dims while playing video, configuring lock screen to work with DM sucks as hell, you even have to define most keyboard shortcuts manually, Optimus GPU setup always buggy, you have to spend some time just configuring power management to work just fine.

We really need to fix this. I mean I am a Linux addict but time is money too.

Ok, so one of the oldest guy is leaving from my company (on a good note) and he was involved in multiple things in our organization. From having access to almost everything (AWS, Github and owning multiple projects and our legacy code). I am supposed to take KTof one project and man THE CODE IS MESS. YOU DONT PUT A RANDOM NUMBER WHILE CALLING A FUNCTION. You are supposed to define a constant and use that. I've told my manager that I need at least 1 week just to improve logging.

Man....I keep up with this strange love hate relationship I have with Python....

Last night it was python that literally wrote my homework: define all possible equivalent partition tables with cause and effect analysis and boundary value checks for a program. The whole thing wrote itself and all I had to do was verify the inputs. Something that I was able to do using jupyter with pandas and numpy. On one hand, I despise the lack of static typing and use of whitespace as a block delimiter. On the other I cannot but help feeling a high level of gratitude over the language and its high availability and ease of use for this.

Sure, I could have used other tools, but this language has dominated hardcore in this regard enough to the point of not considering it being a crime against humanity.

I was just chatting with my dad. He used to be mostly a C# dev but changed jobs and is now doing mostly Java. He says he likes it better.... Because it doesn't have lambdas/anonymous functions.

Uh.... Java was the first and only language where you can define interface implementations in-line (aka a whole bunch of functions)...

And 1.8 supports lambdas for Interfaces that have a single function...

I bet he'll hate JS... Where functions are can be passed around like objects, ES6 now supports lambdas and await, async... and anonymous functions (apparently they're called arrow functions?)

#define TRUE FALSE
//Happy debugging suckers

Broken teams,
define Agile principles in 2 lines :

Take 2X to your velocity,
and work 80hours a week ;)

I want honest opinions. Do you think the following is a good or not so good interview question. Why or why not? Defend your argument.

Define a function where the input is a list of integers. It should find and return all the unique sets of three within the list that sum to x.

For example, given the list [1, 3, 2, 5, 6, 8, 10, 13, 15] and with x = 16, the function would return [(10,5,1), (13,2,1)]

If the candidate presents the trivial solution with time complexity of o(n^3), ask if can be done in o(n^2) or better.

To the cunts that build ‘news’ stories with an ad block every few paragraphs, but don’t define the space in which they sit so whilst you are reading the text will suddenly jump as the ad is loaded, this continues as you scroll down the page. Just fucking stop it!

on my college days (8yrs ago), i had to study COBOL as part of syllabus....

you had to write lots of codes as header on every simple program you write, define every variable you gonna use (with how much space they need) upfront..

and you can't leave a blank space any where in the code unless it is required!!

best part? you need to start every line of code with 7 blank spaces! and each line should end at 72 chars...if you have more to type in a line, the next line's 7the char should be a dash(-) to indicate so..

and the compiler's error messages are shit!

now, even with modern languages, people think its hard to code!

Finally I was able to look into css grids in more detail and gotta say it's impressive, also "grid-template-areas" made me chuckle for a bit, at how unusual and easy you can define layouts (even compatible with media queries!), which are also heavily obvious and readable, reminds me of the old games where characters were just symbols.

#include<rant.h>
#define useless unnecessary

int main()
{
Fuck off Zuckerman and any dev who codes such shit for useless permissions and especially FUCK YOU CLIENT for asking your dev to ask for all useless permissions for your fucking app just because you think it's cool ;

return 0;
}

So I got sick of this "nodejs" bullshit around here and proposed a competition to define our next backend tech.

The node defender is already finding excuses as to why they might write bad code because of lack of knowledge , my answer:
If you don't know the tech we ain't gonna use it.

Try to write a GF class.
Too many extends..

// Define this isn't a rant.
this.isRant = false;

So just curious if there are any dev stroke artists on here that might be willing to lend me a hand with some prototype art...

Just need some character sprites made into modular pieces and a few edits.

Didn't know anywhere else to post this :-(

As an exercise lets see how many different ways we can wish devRant Happy Birthday in code. Try not to copy peoples examples, use a different language or different method.

A couple of examples to start the process:

* LOLCODE *
HAI 1.3
LOL VAR R 3
IM IN YR LOOP
VISIBLE "Happy Birthday"!
IZ VAR LIEK 1?
YARLY
VISIBLE "Dear devRant"!
NOWAI
VISIBLE "to you"!
KTHX
NERFZ VAR!!
IZ VAR LIEK 0?
GTFO
KTHX
KTHX
KTHXBYE

* C *
#include <stdio.h>

#define HP "Happy birthday"
#define TY "to you"
#define DD "Dear devRant"

typedef struct HB_t { const char *s; const char *e;} HB;
static const HB hb[] = {{HP,TY}, {{HP,TY}, {{HP,DD}, {{HP,TY}, { NULL, NULL }};

int main(void)
{
const HB *s = hb;
while(s->start) { printf("%s %s", s->s, s->e); }
return 1;
}

Seriously, at what point did the good, kind, selfless souls who write tutorials and guides online turn into fucking food bloggers?

I've been an engineer about 15 years, so I still have to google most of the code I write as I write it, and this week I've been learning a new framework.

Ten years ago it'd be "here's how to..." then the thing you want to do.

Now it's "For the longest time, I didn't want to use Gradle..." followed by a summary of the last week in their life.

I really don't care about your Journey with Rust, I want to know how to define an optional parameter. I don't give a rat's fucking dick how much faster this is than that, my hands are tied by whoever started this mess - just tell me how to make it work.

I guess there's something to be said for remembering things between sessions.

just came across the code line as below.

#define TRUE FALSE

and than......😂😂

Alexa, define vacation

Why the actual fuck would you #define function calls into value-like things?!

Found when exploring the example code for some Chinese company's display module.

School, if you're gonna define a custom local DNS for your networks, maybe make sure it's healthy?

So I just had a bit of a shower thought. Suppose you could get the linguists to break a language down and define all the rules that make up that language as if it were a protocol - exceptions included. If you get an arbitrary string of text, could you match against those rules, then break that down to the information it contains, and use that information against a new rule set to construct a new valid sentence containing the same information. Would you just have made the ultimate translator?

Apparently, too lazy to define a function.

A meeting to redefine the definition of done. Which a "senior" programmer threw in.

3 hours after we are still there to "define"... All of this because this developer and a couple more want to keep a physical board which has no space for a "testing" section, so the tasks need either to be done-but-not-really and this is technically wrong (who cares?) or in-progress-but-not-really which is technically wrong (again, who cares?).

Just effin find a bigger board and don't waste 3 hours of my life and/or start thinking pragmatically and accept tasks can move backwards or have a ticket saying "testing" stuck to them, ffs!

The funny part? This dev is probably one of the grumpiest devs I met when you talk about meetings which are actually useful.

I don't wanna ask (insert search engine of your choice) but devRant today:

How would you define a
- nerd
- geek
etc
Is it an insult or status to be proud of?

Lab needs a crawler to download some assets, none of my business though

But why not

Haven't touched crawler for two years

Google for latest state of art

Found scrapy

I have to define a class for a crawling script?

Got scared

Went back to beautifulsoup and request

Got the job done in 20 mins

Fuck yeah

The best/worst code comments you have ever seen?

Mine:

//Upload didn't work, have to react:
system.println('no result');

//$Message gives out a message in the compiler log.
{$Message Hint 'Feed the cat'}

//Not really needed

//Closed source - Why even comments?

//Looks like bullshit, but it has to be done this way.

//This one's really fucked up.

//If it crashes, click again.

asm JMP START end; //because no goto XP

catch {
//shit happens
}

//OMG!!! And this works???

asm
...
mov [0], 0 //uh, maybe there is a better way of throw an exception
...
mov [0], 0 //still a strange way to notify of an error

// this makes it exiting -- in other words: unstable !!!!!

//Paranoic - can't happen, but I trust no one.

else {
//please no -.-
sleep(0);
}

//wuppdi

for (int i = random(500); i < 1000 + random(500 + random(250)); i++)
{
// Do crap, so its harder to decompile
}

//This job would be great if it wasn't for the f**king customers.

//TODO: place this peace of code somewhere else...

// Beware of bugs in the code above; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.

{$IFDEF VER93}
//Good luck
{$DEFINE VER9x}
{$ENDIF}

//THIS SHIT IS LEAKING! SOMEONE FIX IT! :)

/* no comment */

Read it somewhere

//Happy debugging suckers
# define true (rand() > 10)

#define TRUE __LINE__

Happy Debugging :)

!rant

so the other day i was programming and suddenly i wanted to learn haskell. (i don't know why it hit me so suddenly, maybe because it's a 'pure' functional programming language and these 2 terms i knew nothing about)

and to be honest it's really hard coming from an imperative programming language (C/C++, yes, i know they are different in their ways). it's like learning to program again! you really have to get a different mindset and for me honestly it's hard to grasp the idea that 'variables' are immutable! like, that's soooo weird it still stucks to me. for example how did they define the max or min function without using a while loop? what are monads?

I am just 2 days in but it'll be a fun ride!

I'm incredibly ticked off by decision of using backticks ´ to define template strings on es6...

template strings are nice , but backticks are irritating ugly and unreadable

Does anyone else have experience on a team where everyone seems to be doing their own thing across the full stack/multiple systems/languages but then they're all stepping over each other, breaking other each other's code so ends up doing a lot of rework to update your code to someone else's change.

And also many wheels get reinvented in slightly different ways because no one is aware that something like ... Already exists and can be reused or refactor.... Or how to use it correctly.

Basically we're like all moving in different directions instead of in sync.

I feel maybe the team is too big and everyone is doing everything, wearing too many hats... and maybe should define roles and ownership better.

Awful idea of the day - Have a programming language with no comments, but regex preprocessor macros. Use macros to define your own comment syntax and strip them before compiling.

#define /\/\/.*//

Slipping a cheeky '#define true (rand() > 5)' at the top of your code because you're edgy and like to mix things up

Non-tech: "You're really classy aren't you?"
Me: "Damn straight! Bet you'd like to define me."
Non-tech: "Wut..."

My jokes are wasted :/

Today our webdev prof: "you must use bootstrap! You are not allowed to define your own classes!"

He's a nice guy, but I don't like frameworks, especially if they rely on other frameworks so much that you basically have another language.

Experience doesnt equate number of years you worked. It acummulate through each problem/challenge we solve everyday. What your view, please share.

Found this useless gold from pre define methods of android studio. 💩💩💩💩

What can I do when my boss tells me to guide the “Senior Software Engineer” while I am just a “Software Engineer”?

Also, the SSE just asked me to help him/her with his/her project coz he/she forgot the skill that he/she was hired for.

I opened this up to my boss, he just told me to guide and not spoonfeed her.

So, questions:
I really find it unfair that we have different job titles, how can I tell my boss that the SSE doesn’t really have the skills to proceed with the project?

Second, do I also need to define and establish the criteria for Lead, SSE and SE within the company? (My boss scheduled a meeting for this exclusively)

We support IE at work.

went to test page in IE, CRASH... With a freaking jquery exception, what?!?! Error was no help, debugging was pointless.

Took me 30min to find out that I can't define a variable in a JS function definition like "function doStuff(isThing = false)".... That's ES6 only...

Made sure I prevent further mistakes by setting my PHPstorm language setting to ES5.1

<?php
define("NOW", date("Y-m-d H:i:s", time());
/* ..... more code ..... */
$nowUnix = strtotime(NOW);

My new PM thinks programming is like using Excel to define times and send the price of the work hours to the clients... 😂

Oh one boi

or maybe
#define while if

r/ProgrammerHumour

So this group of students (mostly girls) from university approached us to make them a prototype app for their semester's project, we had a first reunion to know about the idea and what they wanted us to do.

All they talked about was the color and some minor design stuff, we still don't exactly know what we're doing since it was difficult for us to get them to actually define the requirements and what the app should do.

We were supposed to have a second reunion for us to show them some ideas but the day of the meeting they didn't reply any of our messages.

I'm not the kind of guy who gets upset easily, but if you ask us for help and then let us hanging not really knowing what to do with your shitty project, fuck you.

How to spend more time writing docs then code?
15m = doc
1m = code

<code>
/* Motor DC + Mosfet IRF520 + Servo
Materials:
IRF520 (Mosfet) + Dc motor + Batery (3V min)
diode (1N4007?)
Changed Tip122 for IRF520: Tip122 has less resistance and produces more heat

Hardware:
ARDUINO = A(port , 5V , GND)
MOSFET = M(A[port] , + , GND)
MOTOR = MOTOR(+ , -)
BATERIA = BAT(+ , -)
DIODO = D(sinal_1 , sinal_2)

MOSFET
M(port) = A(port)
M(+) = D(sinal_1) AND MOTOR(+)
M(GND) = A(GND)

D(sinal_2) = B(+) AND MOTOR(-)

ARDUINO
A(port) = M(port)
5V = null
A(GND) = M(GND) AND BAT(-)

*/

#define motorPIN 8 // A(port)
int loopy = 0; // Loop variable to limit de program

void setup()
{
// Initialize the motor pin as an output:
pinMode(motorPIN, OUTPUT);

}

void loop() // 1 loop == 100ms
{
if (loopy < 10) // Turns motor ON for 1 second
{
digitalWrite(motorPIN, HIGH);
}
else // Turns motor OFF
{
digitalWrite(motorPIN, LOW);
}
}

</code>

For a long time I was of the opinion that pointer variables in C/C++ should have the asterisk immediately after the type name (e.g. int* foo).

Eventually I became convinced that it makes more sense to have it before the variable (e.g. int *foo).

Now I find routines that return pointers look weird, e.g.: void *allocate_something() so I am considering adopting the original style I used.

The only advantage of having the asterisk before the variable name I am aware of is that it is easier to remember to add an asterisk if you define more than one pointer on that line.

Anyone else find it hard to settle on code style guidelines for their own personal projects?

[CMS of Doom™]
Imagine creating a CMS so bad that you let the owner (who I work for) define in a simple input field what email address is used as the sender address for the welcome email of newly registered users.
Basically they filled in a personal email of the company some 3 years ago AND of course the person with said email address left the company a few months later thus for some 2-3 years newly registered users received a welcome email with a sender address of an unavailable user.

And I thought I've seen it all in this CMS...

...a project with well defined requirements that doesn't change shape every day making useless any attempt to define a solid code structure...my dear client I can do all you want but you can't change your ideas every 10 minutes

How do you define a seniority in a corporate is beyond me.
This guy is supposed to be Tier3, literally "advanced technical support". Taking care of network boxes, which are more or less linux servers. The most knowledgable person on the topic, when Tier1 screws something and it's not BAU/Tier2 can't fix it.
In the past hour he:
- attempted to 'cd' to a file and wondered why he got an error
- has no idea how to spell 'md5sum'
- syntax for 'cp' command had to be spelled out to him letter by letter
- has only vague idea how SSH key setup works (can do it only if sombody prepares him the commands)
- was confused how to 'grep' a string from a logfile

This is not something new and fancy he had no time to learn yet. These things are the same past 20-30 years. I used to feel sorry for US guys getting fired due to their work being outsourced to us but that is no longer the case. Our average IT college drop-out could handle maintenance better than some of these people.

Loosing faith...

Interesting question.

I don't think skills have something to do with faith.

If you don't know something, ask someone who does.

Even If I cannot solve a problem or deem a problem unsolvable, I usually don't doubt myself.

There are rare moments where I throw a fit, but that's not loosing faith, thats just being angry because my stubborn thick skull cannot make sense of it, which annoys me.

Might sound cocky, but in my opinion dev skills are not "do or die". Problem could be solved at a later time, maybe never. Who cares?

Loosing faith would mean to me that I define myself in some way on the ability to solve sth that doesn't have to be solved at all.

XD

After all, if it doesn't work, I don't give a fuck.

*Cheers*.

Imagine seeing words like developer:ess, member:esses or user:ess in artices on the web becoming more and more popular.

Pretty dumb, yes?

That’s what happening right now with the German language with something called gender-language.
It hurts my eyes reading Entwickler:innen, Mitglieder:innen and Benutzer:innen.

People argue that words like Entwickler are excluding woman by using the male form by default. But it’s just a matter of perspective. Why not just define this as the neutral form just like in english? Developer is neither male nor female. Everybody is fine with that.
Yet the Germans are messing around with this gender shit and making text unreadable for no reason at all.
It’s just bullshit!

So my data structure's exam's result came and i got scored 57.5 out of 80. My classmates who barely know anything about C scored way more than me. I am so embarrassed at myself but i gave the right answers in exam. My score in the exams before was 39/40 and 38.5/40. All my hardwork failed because it was a so called THEORY exam where there was only 2 small questions of writing algos but all others were just like "describe pre-order traversal of a binary tree" or "write the difference between a tree and a graph?define adjacent node, path and complete graph"...
When will this fuckery end?

++ if you've ever had to type something along these lines:

def main(args):
do = some
stuff = here

if __name__ == '__main__':
main()

trying to figure out the best way to write a driver script for a processing pipeline and the choices have boiled down to;

a) define "new" main functions where necessary
b) learn subprocess module
c) write a bash script to do it instead

still not sure what I'm going with...

RANT: So in school, we have to program using some kind of pseudocode.
Today we wrote an algorithm from a previous exam. Apparently, they don't give you a mark if you get the Array.length(). To receive the mark you have to have to use a variable.
WHICH MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO ME.
My teacher said it would even be ok to define a variable like Variable = Array.length. THAT MAKES EVEN LESS SENSE

Why do anything? We all live on a floating rock. There is no meaning. To define meaning is our lives, objective or subjective, is functionally absurd. We are all here, chasing fleeting moments of joy and pretending like things matter. We are born and then have sex and do the dishes and scroll through our feed endlessly until our inevitable deaths. Nothing matters. Post on DevRant. Or don’t.

Hey guys so we need to start taking accessibility seriously, it’s the law - right now we currently do nothing.

So let’s start with something super simple. Alt text has to be provided for an image...

“This is all bollocks let’s be honest”

😳🤦🏻‍♂️

Um...so I don’t make the rules, the W3C define the standards for the web. Disabled users matter...

- The golden rule of CoffeeScript is: "It's just JavaScript".
- Nice!
- And provides a basic class structure that allows you to name your class, set the superclass, assign prototypal properties, and define the constructor, in a single assignable expression.
- No nO NO NO!

I'm such a fucking idiot

I'm setting up an api and to prevent unwanted fields or circular dependencies from showing up I define what fields should appear in a few serialization yaml files.

These files define what fields should appear in a given context. The default context for every field is to always show the id, and only a call to /posts will give you all the fields of the posts for example. This means that if you retrieve a comment with a linked post, the post will only show up as an id, but the comment will have all its fields.

I've been struggling with a stupid problem for 2 hours, I could verify that the yaml files were loaded in, all entities had such a file and the configuration was exactly according to the docs.

Guess why my api calls still caused circular errors?

Because I forgot to do the $view->setContext$this->defaultContext); call that determines what context should be used for the response.

FUCK ME WHY DID IT TAKE SO FUCKING LONG TO FIGURE THAT OUT OMG

Google you say? Ofcourse I hunted google results! But I was unknowingly part of an XY problem and was looking for what the problem wasn't >:(

At least it works now, ugh

JIRA life:

Project leader proceeds to put what is actually two separate issues in the title. I'm already raging. I go to take a look at it.

I read the description - ANOTHER (this makes it three now) totally seperate issue in there.

Just fuck you I'm so sick it i see it over and over again no matter where I go or what project I work on its all the same bullshit.

"wE wAnT tO cLeARlY dEfINe iSsUeS aNd MoVe RaPiDlY"

YEAH THEN F&Q*@#()#$(@)#$ DO YOUR F$*(@#(*&$ JOB!!!! I'M DOING MINE, IN ADDITION TO DOING YOURS, CLEANING UP YOUR ABSOLUTE MESS THAT YOU LEFT!!!!

#define true false;

!rant

TLDR; time to look for alternatives

Had a negotiation appointment with our CTO recently, due to the fact that I am going to finish my apprenticeship by the current year. As I heard from colleagues that the average pay for a finished apprentice isn't really the best, I wanted to try myself at bargaining it a bit higher.. So we went into the meeting and I brought up my argument, bossman just shrugs it off as laughable and that he can do it 100x better, so why should I define my pay on that.. The appointment was just very uncomfortable after that, no appreciation of my efforts at all. Not like I already work like a normal employee just with a quarter of the pay 😑

They ask me if I have girlfriend(s), I speechless for maybe 5-10 second, then they told me the answer is define my sallary..

Is that normal / common question.?

How to write unmaintainable code and keep your job for life, tip #476;

Use A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.S. to keep the code terse. Real men never define acronyms, they understand them genetically

The person that( breakes the stereotypes and )define new rules is always more successful than the person that follows the rules.

#just_a_thought

#ifndef DEBUG
#define true (rand() % 5)//happy debuging
#endif

My apologize to everyone I told that functional programming is declarative.

It's actually imperative. Thank you @AndSoWeCode for figuring that out. I spent the whole day thinking about it.

Lisp is imperative. It's just different way to define the exact data transformations, and that's quite imperative.

On the other hand, HTML, CSS, config files and markup languages are declarative.

But writing the imperative program which is configured with declarative configs seems like great idea. Consider Apache web server and others.

define "good".

If it's "knowing one's way around" - then yes, I guess I'm good in the context of some languages. How did I get there?
1. good night sleep (yes, #1; I've learnt from my mistakes during studies)
2. accepting/making up challenging tasks
3. toying around with the tools and abusing them heavily (like creating video games in bash or doing some metaprogramming)
4. when you find it hard to find any material about the tool/language that would be new to you - consider yourself good at it.

Help me think. Apparently, I have generated my little tile world. So it's basically the world map assembled from little tiles, which have their own color (pic1).
When I click on one of the plots, I want to open a 5x5 isometric tileset that represents the selected plot. (pic 2). I would like to define the amount of the mountains/water/sand/farmland by the initial RGB value of the plot. Every plot has its own id, location, position, and RGB. (pic 3). Is this possible at all or shall I look for some different approach?

Worst advice...

Use #define TWO 2

Define your productive day

//Happy Debugging suckers..

#define true ((rand()&15)!=15)

Kubernetes question:
So far I've created two pods, mongo & Go
Exposed those pods using services

Their IP is 10.x.x.x and accessible from my machine only (virtual lan I'm guessing only known to host), but my machine's network ip is 192.x.x.x therefore, not accessible from outside world and to do so I need to put nginx in front to receive requests and route them internally.

Is there a way in kubernetes to make it work like nginx in terms of:

Kubernetes listen to port 80 (for example) route based on received url. As you know in enginx we define a server block with server domain_name.tld

Anything similar in kubernetes? I've cheked ingress-nginx controller, and also saw LoadBalancer but that requires a cloud provider.

If anyone can also give an example it would be great, so far examples I checked ended up screwing my setup and had to reset kubectl to get things back working

How can Javascript, one of the MOST WIDELY used and MATURE languages with A MILLION CANCEROUS FRAMEWORKS, NOT have a basic collections class? Are data structures not important in Javascript?

I've been struggling all night trying to get Sets working - surprise, they're utterly useless in Javascript cause you can't define the set comparator.

I just lost it when I found out THERE ISN'T EVEN A QUEUE. WT-ACTUAL-F

How do you define a app's nationality?

Right now India is banning Chinese app due to India-China border issue.

So how do you define? Based on the company location? Their developers location ? If a software contains a open source Chinese package, do you consider it's a Chinese app?

What about the case of PUBG mobile. The mobile version to publish by Tencent, so is it a Chinese app?

define myDay() {
if (time==0600) {
while (sleeping == true) {
xiaomi.miBand.vibrate();
}
}
morningCoffee = new coffee("Strong");
sleep(120); // Gotta let that cool
while (morningCoffee.state.empty == false) {
morningCoffee.drink();
}
while (time > 0630) {
putFaceOn();
}
leaveForStation();
while (train.overground.atStation() == false) devRant.scroll;
getOnTrain();
while (train.overgrond.atStation("Kenton") == false) devRany.scroll;
getOffTrain();
getBus();
while (getToUni == false) devRant.writePost.wk4;
devRant.uploadPost.wk4;
while (time > 1300) project.workHard();
while (time > 1400) lunch.obliterate();
while (time > 2100) project.meetDeadline();
walkToFlat();
goToBed();
}

When I have started working as engineer, coworkers addressed to me as a programmer or software developer. It was irritating since I am an electrical engineering and those days I didn't have much respect for computer science. Nowadays I know how hard is this field, since I have to define and code my soft, and I am proud if someone call me software developer or programmer

I clearly define the day's goal, get beverages/snacks ready, get my hair out of my face, take my glasses off, answer any remaining email, take a deep breath, and dive in.

Sometimes I'll listen to music, but it depends on the ambient noise level.

#define NULL 0
Then y the hell do we include stdlib.h?

Short contract job, helping a solo dev.
Me: what's these "200" everywhere?
Him: the max number of sensors we support. I know it should be a define, but it just became that way.
Me: <shrugs. Well, I'm only staying here a couple of weeks. Goes on working on my own branch>

A week later, manager says: "now we need to support 400 sensors!"

Solo dev: <searches and replaces all occurrences of 200 with 400. The program breaks>
Me: what happened?
Him: I only changed the max number of sensors!
Me: Mmm. <searches for 199 as well... Bingo. Creates a define, searches for 198 and 201 for good measure. Gives him no comment about my change>

How do you define a junior/senior dev?

I've been a professional developer for about 5/6 years now.

Would taking a "junior" role be a step down? Or does the term not really matter?

Ah

I don't like code generators
Especially if they define one set architecture/design

Because surely the people who made the templates/the generator have thought of every single valid use case

Why is everyone saying we should be doing DRY but we really end up defining the same shit everywhere?

Does separation of concern breach DRY principle?

I have dtos, entities, viewmodels all throughout different layers I have to define. I swear I've changed 8 files just to introduce a new field!!!

This week's prompt implies most or all of us are "good" at programming, which... define the threshhold for this? Actually, before that, how do we QUANTIFY this?

also i'm shit at programming

Life Bugs
====================

What would you define code that's not "Hard coding ?" ---"Soft-coding" ?
Any suggestions?
-_-

I am supposed to make a module that does sftp to third parties. Users put in their credentials and we connect and dump files on their servers. It seems like a terrible idea. We don’t administer those computers or define anything about their security. We don’t know if they are entering third party credentials or handling data according to our TOS. Can’t we just send them a presigned link by email on a schedule or something?

Why the fuck...!

Wrote code to import a spreadsheet... A "class code" field is in there to define the the product category... But when no products matching I find that the number is the result of a concatenation, one half of which is not in this file...

Just... Why... ?!?!?!

Oh god why... Why is it that every time I work with software defined radios, I keep on having to rely on not just incomplete, but at times misleading documentation 😩

Last time was GNU radio, with the doc telling me that I could define an input for a processing block using either a type or a (type, size) tupple, only for the actual code to scream at me in confusion upon my passing a tupple.
Now is that other SDR's SDK, which, as if being built upon eclipse wasn't bad enough, managed to make its serial communications confusing. Why can't you just let me set a callback to rx interrupts, you daft punks...

About 6-9 months ago or so I try emphasizing the need to collect business rules with one of my colleagues. I tell them how it might take a few days to get the owners to define mutually exclusive and completely exhaustive terms, but doing so would immediately allow us to resolve all sorts of data quality issues. Well, naturally this gets ignored and then about a week or two ago the same person is wondering why they can't get consistent results when different people try to query the piece of shit "data system" that we have. Since they know I'm already leaving for another gig, I'm torn on whether or not to pull out the "I told you so..." card or to sit silently and listen to them piss and moan all day.

Most successful project? - well its hard to define success?

Get paid a wage in my day-job to work on other peoples software that I know are still being used but it doesn't matter since I got paid - success!

Made a web-app for a gaming community that gets about 150 users each day. Well I don't get paid but I do use the app myself and I learned while making it - more successful?

Forked some gaming community web app that did not support the latest game updates. Updated it and hosted on github pages. It gets about 1k users per day. Quite popular but since someone else wrote most of the code I feel it shouldn't count?

Maybe one day I will make something that people use and it also makes money for me somehow.. but I hate advertising and I rarely pay for apps/software so I'm not sure if its possible?