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Search - "need to talk"
-
Girl: we need to talk
Me: OK
Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.
Me: You are the number 1 in my life.
Girl: *smiles and hugs me*
Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 029 -
Boss: I need you to start on this new project, how long will it take?
Me: well, hard to say with no specs whatsoever...
Boss: just your best guess
Me: 4 to 6 month I guess?
Boss: so 3 months it is. When can you start?
Me: no specs, sir...and I said 4 to 6
Boss: the specs are almost ready, I know you can simplify it
Me: ...
Boss: just start with the basic infrastructure already
(4 months later)
Boss: here you are the specs, they might change a little in behaviour and design, but all the main stuff is here
(Hands me a A3 with a total of 21 pictures in InDesign)
Me: o....Kay. what happens when I click here?
Boss: oh, we should still talk about the app workflow, I'll get you updated
(2 weeks and 16 total rewrites of the "specs" later)
Boss: you told me it was a 2 months job, why aren't you finished yet? We must deploy in 3 weeks!
Me: ...34 -
Boss: "I looked at a testing suite. It is $2,500 a license and I'm buying 60 licenses. You should probably get familiar with it."
LeadDev: "Um, we already use NUnit, and it's free."
Boss: "Hmm...I'd better add Pluralsight training in the budget so you can learn about the new program."
LeadDev: "Oh, no...we need new laptops more than we need software."
Boss:"New laptops? Not my budget. When we buy this new software, everyone is going to use it"
LeadDev: "Everyone? How will you monitor it's usage?"
Boss: "I'll have networking send me captures of all the running tasks on the dev machines. The test suite better be running. Writing good tests will be our #1 priority."
LeadDev: "Um, we already write tests using NUnit."
Boss: "I don't understand what you are saying. I need something I can visualize. This UI testing suite is exactly what I need."
LeadDev: "Maybe the testing suite would be better suited for you and QA?"
<click..click>
Boss: "Submitted the budget. There will be a test server available for you to configure. This whole project costs over $100,000, so don't screw it up. Any questions?"
LeadDev: "Oh...well...what server ..."
Boss: "Dang...sorry, I'm taking off the rest of the afternoon. We'll talk about this more on Monday. Get started on those Pluralsight videos. I'll expect a full training and deployments by next week. Have a great weekend!"13 -
Guy called in because he wanted to get an IP white listed on a server. He wasn't authorized so i told him to send an email from an authorized email address.
He didn't like that very much and asked if another engineer was available (he talked to him more often so he thought that engineer would just do it. We need those kind of requests by email.)
Walked over to my colleague and explained what that client asked for.
'let him send an email!'
Told him i ready told the client that but that the client wanted to talk to him instead.
'sure, connect him through and then come back so you can hear him after i ask him to mail us!'
Connected him through. Client explained the situation.
Then he says with the sweetest voice and a 'get rekt' face: 'could you send me an email about that? 😊'
Let's just say that the client sounded everything but happy xD3 -
Girl: we need to talk!
Me: Ok...
Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.
Me: You are the number 1 in my life.
Girl: *smiles and hugs me*
Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 011 -
Long rant ahead, but it's worth it.
I used to work with a professor (let's call him Dr. X) and developed a backend + acted as sysadmin for our team's research project. Two semesters ago, they wanted to revamp the front end + do some data visualization, so a girl (let's call her W) joined the team and did all that. We wanted to merge the two sites and host on azure, but due to issues and impeding conferences that require our data to be online, we kept postponing. I graduate this semester and haven't worked with the team for a while, so they have a new guy in charge of the azure server (let's call him H), and yesterday my professor sends me (let's call me M), H and W an email telling us to coordinate to have the merge up on azure in 2-3 days, max. The following convo was what I had with H:
M: Hi, if you just give me access to azure I'll be able to set everything up myself, also I'll need a db set up, and just send me the connection string.
H: Hi, we won't have dbs because that is extra costs involved since we don't have dynamic content. Also I can't give you access, instead push everything on git and set up the site on a test azure server and I will take it from there.
M: There is proprietary data on the site...
H: Oh really? I don't know what's on it.
<and yet he knows we have no dynamic data>
M: Fine, I'll load the data some other way, but I have access to all the data anyway, just talk to Dr. X and you'll see you can give me access. Delete my access after if you want.
H: No, just do what I said: git then upload to test azure account.
Fine, he's a complete tool, but I like Dr. X, so I message W and tell her we have to merge, she tells me that it's not that easy to set it up on github as she's using wordpress. She sends me instructions on what to do, and, lo and behold, there's a db in her solution. Ok, I go back to talking to H:
M: W is using a db. Talk to her so we can figure out whether we need a database or not.
H: We can't use a database because we want to decrease costs.
M: Yes I know that, so talk to her because that probably means she has to re-do some stuff, which might take some time. Also there might be dynamic content in what she's doing.
H: This is your project, you talk to her.
<I'm starting to get mad right now>
M: I don't know what they had her do apart from how it interfaces with what I've done.
H: We still can't have databases.
M: Listen, I don't do wordpress, and I'm not gonna mess with it, you talk to her
H: I won't do any development
<So you won't do any dev, but you won't give me access to do it either?>
M: Man, the bottleneck isn't the merging right now, it's the fact that W needs a db
H: I know, so talk to her
M: THE RESTRICTION TO NOT HAVE DATABASES IS NOT MINE, IT'S YOURS, YOU TALK TO HER. I can't evaluate whether it's a reasonable enough reason or not since I don't know the requirements or what they're willing to spend.
H: It's your project.
M: Then give me fucking access to azure and I'll handle it, you know you'll have to set up wordpress again regardless whether we set it up the first time.
H: Man just do your job.
At this point I lost it. WHAT A FUCKING TOOL. He doesn't wanna do dev work, wants me to go through the trouble of setting up on a test subscription first, and doesn't want to give me access to azure. What's more, he did shit all and doesn't want to anything else. Well fuck you. I googled him, to see if he's anyone important, if he's done anything notable which is why he's being so God damn condescending. MY INTERNSHIP ALONE ECLIPSES HIS ENTIRE CV. Then what the fuck?
There's also this that happened sometime during our talk:
M: You'll have to take to Dr. Y so he'll change the DNS to point to the azure subscription instead of my server.
H: Yea don't worry, too early for that.
M: DNS propagation takes 24 hours...
H: Yea don't worry.
DNS propagation allows the entire web to know that your website is hosted on a different server so it can change where it's pointing to. We have to do this in 2-3 days. Why do work in parallel? Nah let's wait.
I went over his head and talked to the professor directly, and despite wanting to tell him that he was both drunk and high the day he hired that guy, I kept it professional. He hasn't replied yet, but this fucker's pompous attitude is just too much for me alone, so I had to share.
PS: I named his contact as Annoying Prick 4 minutes into our chat. Gonna rename him cz that seems tooooooo soft a name right now.undefined tools i have access and you don't haha retards why the fuck would you hire that guy? i don't do development46 -
One of my worst meetings, as the sheer rage was unbelievable.
Backstory:
Architect: "Stop duplicating code", "stop copy pasting code", "We need to reuse code more", "We need to look at a new pattern for unit tests" etc.
Meeting:
Architect: What did you want to talk about?
Me: I built a really simple lightweight library to solve a lot of our problems. Its built to make unit testing our code much easier, devs only need to change a small bit of how they work.
Architect: I like the pattern a lot, looks great ... but why a library? can we not just copy the code from project to project?
... do you have a twin or something?2 -
HR people working in tech companies, let's talk about them...
*phone rings and I pick up*
HR Lady: Hi, this is [name] from [company]. I'm calling you regarding your application you submitted [some date 2 months ago!].
Me: *realizing that I've applied 2 freaking months ago* Hmmm OK....
HR Lady: Yes, well, we asked for your GitHub account, but you seem to have forgotten to provide it.
Me: *open up the email and see that I've sent them my GitLab account* Well, I have the email right here and I did send you a git account. I mean, it's not GitHub specifically but it's a GitLab account, pretty much the same thing, you should be good with that.
HR Lady: OK, let me put you on hold for a minute.
*2-3 minutes passes*
HR Lady: Hi sir, I've asked my colleague [which I suppose is another HR] and he told me that they're not the same thing, we cannot proceed until you give us the right link, you need to send us a link to your GitHub account.
Me: I mean, they aren't the SAME EXACT thing, but both companies provide essentially the same service, it's like Messenger and WhatsApp. Look, I'm pretty sure that if you give this to another programmer they'll be fine.
HR Lady: No, Messenger and WhatsApp aren't the same thing. Sir, please stay polite. We need a GitHub account not a GitLab account.
Me: *mumbling* Oh boy.... M'am, it's OK, I don't need the job anyway, I've found something. Two months is a long time and I needed something quickly. Thank you, have a good day.6 -
!rant
Boss: I need to talk to you.
Me: Something wrong?
Boss: No, just need to talk.
(Not sure what to think)
Meet with boss, first thing he does is shake my hand and proceeds to tell me thank you for all the work you or in on the last project. On tomorrow in addition to your paycheck $1K after taxes will be deposited into your account.
#feeling very appreciated5 -
I was on a 1:1 with my boss talking about my performance, recent tickets, HR stuff, anything I need, plans for the next quarter, etc.
My 4yo ran up, pointed to my boss on the screen, and asked "who is mommy on a call with?" I told him it was my boss, T, and that he needed to be quiet. "I want talk to T!" He demanded. "Hi T!" He wouldn't take no for an answer. We were pressed for time, so. As cute as it was, it wasn't very welcome.
It took like five minutes to finally make him leave. Now whenever I'm on a call, he runs up and yells "Hi T!!!!" at the screen. 😅 even when its standup or the engineering meeting with like 50 people.... thankfully there is a mute button! His face still pops up on camera, but most people understand and just laugh.
He's cute but he can be soo embarrassing!6 -
Uncle: I need a app for my company.
Me: Sure. What for?
Uncle: Managing my employees on the fly.
Me: So you need a backend, server cost around 20$ month.
Uncle: hmm ok I talk to you next time.
This happens literally with everyone that asks me for a App :/11 -
Client: Please fix the logo.
Me: Okay, what needs to be fixed exactly?
Client: Put this word next to that word(shows me an example).
Me: Okay, no problem.
*after 5 minutes*
Client: You did not do what I asked for. Please fix the logo. Make it look better. Make it bigger and more outstanding. Dont change my logo
Me: Okay, I will revert the changes.
*Reverts to the old logo, and only does that as I do not fucking know what to do with oudstanding for fucks sake*
Client: I will talk to your boss. No one cares. My web site is not even finished and no one cares.
*It is finished, now the client looks for small things to make a big issue of*
Me: Could you please tell me in detail, what do you need to be fixes?
Client: I want the wording better. Im going to talk to your boss...
well fuuuck fucking fuck Im pissing blood!!!!!!!!!8 -
Me: So i've cloned the iOS project, i've run carthage, but it won't build.. Have I done something wrong?
Devs: Oh read this doc on github, we do loads of custom stuff. The depenedncy manager can't do it all by itself. You need to run `./scripts/boostrap.sh`
Me (another day): I've switched branches and i'm getting all these errors. Any ideas?
Devs: Ah this happens when someone modifies xyz. Read this pinned slack message. Run `./scripts/bootstrap.sh` again.
Me (another day): I've switched branches again, getting different errors, re-running boostrap didn't fix it.
Devs: Ah yeah, this happens when someone modifies abc. You need to run `./scripts/nuke.sh` and then boostrap when this happens.
Me (another day): Guys When I try to run the prod app its not building any ideas?
Devs: Ah yes have a look at this confluence link. You need to run `./scripts/setup_debug_release.sh`, then nuke, then boostrap and you'll be good.
Me: .... ok
Devs: Oh btw very important! do not commit any changes from `./scripts/setup_debug_release.sh`. It will break everything!
Me: ... no i'm sorry we have a much bigger problem than that. We need to talk ... like right now7 -
So our company hired a new COO few months ago, and he oversees digital department as well
recently he called the digital department into his office to talk about a new campaign for a client, and client's mascot is a ladybug, so he goes like this
COO: So i was thinking, we need to make people more aware about the new branch opening
COO: I have a creative / innovative idea, we probably can get an award for this and I'm sure client will be really impressed with this. Why don't we put ladybugs on Google homepage, just walking around flapping their wings and stuff, i mean everyone visits Google right ?
Our Team: awkwardly looking at each other
Me: 😐😐😐😐
( I was confused what to think )
Then our designer calmly explained him why it wouldn't work while we were trying our best not to laugh
how the fuck someone like him manage to stay alive all these years and become a COO, i mean he doesn't have to know it all but damn this is common sense10 -
1998 talk: Copy the Internet
I was surfing the web on my good old windows 98 pc, a younger friend comes to my place and sees me using IE. Sudently he asks:
Friend: What is that program?
Me: It's Internet Explorer.
Fr: - What is it for?
Me: - Well, you can write something here, (url), to go to different sites, search for stuff you like, participate in foruns, etc...
Fr: - Oh yeah, I know what that is, my cousin also has that in his PC, but I don't.
...(Little pause)...
- Can you copy the internet for me? Because I don't have it.
Me: You can't copy the Internet! You need a phone connection.
Fr - But I'll give you a floppy disk, you put that program there, and then I can use it too.
Me - The shortcut won't give you Internet!
I think I ended up copying the shortcut of IE to him, just to prove my point.
The funny thing is that the link really worked because he also had IE in his machine, while not in the workspace, however it was exactly in the same folder location as mine, but obviously he didn't had a wired phone connection.
Fr - "Maybe I need to copy something more! The program opens but it doesn't show anything."7 -
So apparently devRant is a problem in my life. As those of you who've read any of my stuff here know I work at Victoria's Secret. So two of my friends come in just before I was ending my shift to see what the plans were for tonight. The usual - hit the club, crash at one of our houses.
Thing is, I was scrolling through devRant when they walked up. (the below is paraphrased)
Friend1: Ugh, you're still on that thing?
Friend2: Is she really? <looks over my shoulder>
Me: <eyeroll>
Friend2: I don't get it. <pokes me in the left tit> You barely post on Instagram and you don't tweet anymore. And you haven't commented on any of my posts in like days. Wtf bitch?
Disclaimer: Yes, we are those girls who talk like that and go clubbing and dress up and makeup and all that shit. Don't judge me because I don't give a fuck. Anyway...
Friend1: Seriously.
Me: Really? We're doing this? Because I haven't posted on fucking Instagram? I talk to you every day. I see you every other day. I like coding. I like tech. This place is awesome and the people are cool. If I want to see your ass or your outfit, I can just look at you. I don't need to be on Instagram 24/7.
Friend2: Jeez bitch. Need a tampon
<we all laugh>
Me: This is my thing. It doesn't mean we aren't friend and we won't chill, but my future is in development and technology. So deal hoes.
Friend1: Ugh you're such a nerd.
Friend2: <laughing>
Me: And you're both like totally vapid sluts. But I love you.
Friend2: Jelly
Friend1: Totes jelly. Girl you need some vitamin D
Me: I'm sayin'. But that doesn't mean I won't spend my free time coding.
Friend2: Ugh alright we don't give a fuck. Code or whatever. Just be ready at 11.
We all flip each other the bird and they leave. I guess if that's the level of acceptance I can get from my wonderful, gorgeous, annoying, amazing, asshole best friends, I'll take it. I am not changing my path.69 -
So today , a company phoned me for a job I applied in Jobstreet. So the conversation goes like this.
Com " Do you have any experience in Android studio? "
Me : " Yes . I develop android application, it is compulsory to know actually."
Com :" ok... Do you have experience android SDK?"
Me : " I believe you are referring to the Android studio, yes."
Com :" do you have experience in Android programming"?
Me :" Yes. I do android application for both native and hybrid. As for hybrid, I use flutter."
Com :" Ok...but I was asking about android."
Me :*explaining what I just said *
Com: " you no understand! We need android programmer! Not native or flutter programmer!"
Me *explaining what native and hybrid is (in simple terms)
Com : " it is ok then.. our company prefer those who can develop android app , not native programmer or anything flutter programmer.
"
(Btw , I transcript how exactly that person talk to me)
My question to this person is.... WHAT THE F*** IS THIS? WANT AN ANDROID DEVELOPER BUT NOT NATIVE OR "FLUTTER"? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN ? IF ANDROID IS NOT WRITTEN IN NATIVE OR HYBRID THEN WHAT YOU EXPECT ME TO USE THEN? USING ASSEMBLY X64?14 -
I went out of office for a while, and when I was going to sit on my desk, a co-worker said me “Elizadeath, the boss wanna talk with you”. I was concerned, I though “maybe something broke in production code, or they need an urgent code, I don’t know”.
Well, that wasn’t what I expected.
“Elizadeath” she said “I’m seriously worry about you. I saw the plastic bottles our team has collected for the recyling project, and I realized that most of the Coca-Cola bottles came from you!”
Yes, it was a Coca-cola addiction intervention 😂 I’m drinking more water and less coke from now, for my health 😊17 -
Do you ever talk to yourself out loud while thinking/programming/debugging? (Not a rubber duck in sight, because that makes it okay?)
I need to avoid making this a habit..
Me: What? Why is this even an error?
Someone: What?
Me: What?14 -
I really fucking need to learn to relax/chill out.
Fucked up something at work a few days ago but it didn't seem to be that big of a deal.
Then, yesterday, someone put a ticket on my name from the person/account I fucked something up with.
I spend yesterday evening and this morning worrying so much that I literally constantly had to talk myself down/calm
Asked this morning if it would be fixable easily because I couldn't hold my nerves anymore.
"oh yeah that'll take just a few minutes, just put the ticket on my name!"
I seriously need to learn how to control this 😞15 -
Private chat pops up. (- separator for new message)
Hello
- (1 min)
Can you help me?
- (2-3 mins)
Please it's urgeeeent!!!!!
- (1 min)
Come on you're online, I see the green dot.
- (5 mins)
Ok then I won't be able to work. Will write this down in the ticket.
- (15 mins) - new private chat pops up
Hi, we need to talk.
- (3 mins)
Regarding ticket XY, why aren't you responding? It's really urgent.
- (5 mins)
Please notify me as soon as you're available, it's really important!!!
- (20 mins, new private chat opens)
Hi mate, I think the devs are up to mischief. Said you're not reachable, I'll try to poke them with the stun gun.
- (60 mins, message in the official and only endorsed support room)
@all We broke staging, <Me> never responds and <Team mate who tried to use the stun gun> wasn't helpful either.
We really need this now!!!!!!!
- 30 mins later... la me:
@all I was in a meeting with the stakeholders as we had an priority meeting... What was so important that you not only ignored the rule of not messaging privately and even ignored <team mate>s instructions?
- 5 mins later, answer
no need to be so unfriendly.... We broke staging as we had to test stuff out for next week's sprint review [something which is still 3 days away or sth like that]. We really need to take a look in the team at it and for that we must have staging working now!!!!
- (La me)
If you need it urgent now, you didn't plan ahead. And if you didn't plan ahead, you have to wait for others. The sprint review and all other important days are planned ahead for a reason.
- (Silence)
- (20 mins later, private chat, team lead)
Will you finally fix staging now?
- La me
If it could wait 3 hours now and you / your team ignored all netiquette, it can wait till next day, too. We had this discussion more than once, I don't think I need to explain this further.
(Silence)
All in all, the joys of communication...
Now the fun stuff is when this not only happens with 1 team, but many teams....
Having 35 - 40 private chats and chat window looking like a christmas tree thx to the immeasurable amount of notifications and colors... Yay...
Did I mention that I hate the ego some programmers have -.10 -
Today was Mother's Day. Everybody was posting their photos with their mothers, so I had to stay away from social networks for today to not feel sad.
It's been almost a year without mine, really miss her.
I love her, and I never showed her how much. I've not been the best son a mother could have, I'm so sorry for that. She thought me how to be strong, she was the strongest, but I'm feeling so weak now without her.
Please never miss a chance to let your mother know how much you love her, give her a hug whenever you can, talk to her every time you need somebody to talk to, listen to her stories from when she was your age. She's the most precious person you'll ever have in your life. I realized that when it was too late, don't make my mistake.
I miss you mum ❤8 -
Client sends an email after 5 PM. We all left for home.
Client: blah blah blah...We urgently need this app to be done by COB on Monday. Our CEO is going to launching it on Tuesday to the board of Directors.
––Boss forwards me the email––
Boss: Can you get this done by this weekend.
––On Viber––
Boss: I have sent you an urgent email. Let me know.
––My Reply––
Me: This can't be done in a day or 2. Looking at the scope of work, I need at least 8 weeks.
––Boss Replies back––
Boss: You are not performing at the best of your ability. Come and see me on Monday, I need to talk to you about your performance on urgent projects.23 -
!rant
It's been a while since I posted here. My previous workplace was a 101 on how to burn out people.
But now I am working at a place where:
- People are 0 toxic.
- Sprints follow the premise "under promise, over deliver."
- I was having trouble sleeping (for reasons) a couple of months ago, and my boss literally told me, "If you can't sleep at night, take a few days, or if you can fall asleep in the morning, just sleep in the morning until you manage to do otherwise. Talk with your team and rearrange the meetings if you have and rest. "
- All pieces of the company (sales, narketing, product, data, devs) have a clean roadmap.
- Product and bizz understand when something can't be done on the next sprint and why sometimes some features are delayed.
- They pay well, even raising the pay twice to account for inflation.
- Full remote, If I want to go to the office, Its my choice.
I need to keep this job no matter what!8 -
Didn't want to post it as there's been already a lot of posts like this. But I just can't help myself to rant over this. This happened yesterday. I helped him earlier with his phone.
Friend of my dad: Hey, I need your help with my laptop I bought from eBay.
Me: *flashbacks of devRant posts*
Him: Everything works. It's just that nothing comes up in display.
Me: Okay, you need to take that to a repair shop. If at least something came up on screen I could help.
Him: Aren't you a computer engineer? I bought this because I knew you can fix it.
Me: *more flashbacks*
Him: You gotta help me with this. I can't lose money on this
Me: You didn't even ask me anything before buying. Ask your buyer if they have a 30 day return policy.
Him: Why are paying this much to study Computer Engineering? I'll talk to your dad.
This people man. I told my dad and he never received his call anymore7 -
Client: "we need a piece of software to have our son be able to talk again"
Me: "what can your son do physically?"
Client: "He can only grip something"
Me: "well, I suppose that is possible by using Intel ACAT, some synthesizer and some switches"
Client: "Never heard of ACAT, probably some small program that nobody else heard of"
Me: "It was used by a great man called Stephen Hawking. If it worked for him, it should work for your son"
Client: "Who is Stephen Hawking?"
Me: *urge to put client in wheelchair intensifies*14 -
Them: Root, you take too long to get tickets out. You only have a few simple ones. You really need to rebuild your reputation.
Also them: Hey, could you revisit this ticket? Could you help ____ with this other ticket? Hey Root, how do you do this? Root, someone had a suggestion on one of your tickets; could you implement that by EoD? Hey Root, i didn't read your ticket notes; how do you test it? Hey, could you revisit this ticket for the fourth time and remove some whitespace? Hey Root, someone has non-blocking code review comments you need to address before we can release the ticket. Hey Root, we want to expand that ticket scope by 5-6 times; still labeled a trivial feature though.
Also them: Super easy ticket for you. Make sure you talk with teams A, B, C, D, E and get their input on the ticket, talk with ____ and ____ and ____ about it, find a solution that makes them all happy and solves the problem too, then be sure to demo it with everyone afterward. Super easy; shouldn't take you more than a couple days. Oh, and half of them are on vacation.
Also them: Hey, that high-priority ticket you finished months ago that we ignored? Yeah, you need to rewrite it by tomorrow. Also, you need to demo it with our guy in India, who's also on vacation. Yes, tomorrow is the last day. (The next day:) You rewrote it, but weren't able to schedule the demo? Now you've missed the release! It's even later! This reflects very poorly on you.
Also them: Perfect is the enemy of good; be more like the seniors who release partially-broken code quickly.
Also them: Here's an non-trivial extreme edgecase you might not have covered. Oh, it would have taken too much time and that's why you didn't do it? Jeez, how can you release such incomplete code?
Also them: Yeah, that ticket sat in code review for five months because we didn't know it was high-priority, despite you telling us. It's still kinda your fault, though.
Also them: You need to analyze traffic data to find patterns and figure out why this problem is happening. I know you pushed the fix for it 8 months ago, and I said it was really solid, but the code is too complex so I won't release it. Yeah I know it's just a debounce with status polling and retrying. Too complex for me to understand. Figure out what the problem is, see if another company has this same problem, and how they fixed it.
-------------
Yep. I'm so terrible for not getting these tickets out, like wow. Worst dev ever. Much shame.
LF work, PST.13 -
Dear children let's talk about how to ask a f***ing question.
You don't just go "I need help. I can't figure it out." We had trainings on this, I sat through 3 hours holding your hand to help you try and understand things.
And yet now we have scheduled another 3 hours to help you figure this out because you said you were having difficulty with it because you couldn't figure it out. How about instead of just saying you "Need help", you start by
1. Explaining what you are trying to accomplish
2. What specific issue are you facing? Is there an error message or something?
3. What have you already tried thus far that didn't work?
Instead of "I NEED HELP I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT!" that is the sign of a lazy f****ing engineer, someone who doesn't want to think, who doesn't want to learn something new who wants to just coast by. Especially when this is going to become an increasingly important part of your job.
And of course you currently are still a whole job level above me because sitting around and keeping a chair warm for 10 years means you are a valuable contributor, instead of what you can actually DO!
This bugs me so much. So remember kids, when you need help, or need to ask a question, ASK IT THE RIGHT F****ING WAY!6 -
Me: Alright today I'm going to work on X, Y, and Z because that's what we planned yesterday.
(10 Minutes into the day)
Boss: We need you to work on A, B, and C. These need to be done today.
Me: What about X, Y, and Z?
B: You have new priorities.
(30 Minutes later)
B: What's your status on X, Y and Z? You think it'll be done today?
M: (Forwards email about new priorities)
B: I'm coming down to talk with you.
WHY.7 -
"Hey, about that matter from yesterday..."
"Yes, what about that?"
"We need to talk about that again! How often do you trigger that system?"
"Once."
"You sure?"
"Yes, but i can check it, if you like."
*find references*
"See, only once."
"Can it happen at a random point later one?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"Can you check it?"
"Okay."
*shows code"
"Look here, as you can see, it will not happen at other times."
"Do you have an idea why it could happen anyway?"
"Maybe that system does the action without my software telling it to do so, wasn't that specified that way?"
"Yes, but it normally does that roughly 10 seconds after you give the command the first time, so we thought maybe you could say what makes it do the action at other points maybe."
"Did you check that systems sourcecode?"
"No not yet. But did that happen with the older version?"
"No. But we didn't try."
"Did you change something between the versions?"
"Yes, the new feature."
"Could that make a change in behaviour?"
"I don't see how."
"Can you remove that feature for test?"
"We can take the old version."
"No, we need the new version, but without the feature you added."
"That IS the old version, there is no other difference!"
"Are you sure?"
"Would you like to see it in source control?"
"No, ~ okay. What do you think causes the problem?"
"I haven't had any new ideas since we talked yesterday."
"Okay. Mhhh,...okay. Lets talk again later."
YES SURE! BRING IT ON! I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT! PLEASE COME BY OR CALL ME AGAIN! AND BRING THE BOSS WITH YOU, TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS THE MATTER IS! LET ME TELL HIM THE STUFF I TOLD SEVEN TIMES LAST WEEK!2 -
So i've been put in charge of bringing the devs together to form a small dev team, instead of having 3 separate devs (including me) sitting apart on separate projects. The idea was to have us talk more, work together more, learn more about the other projects, reuse more code etc.
(I've been arguing to let us do this for a while)
So I asked my manager could we move to the 4 desks in the corner, so we can have our own space, talk without having to book a meeting room each time etc. Its also a bit quieter over there and we all really need that in our noisy office.
Manager sent me an IM today while I was working from home to tell me we can have the desks. Was super happy, messaged the devs to tell them they can start moving.
Just got a message from one of them to say our manager has started moving his stuff over too. Seems he agreed with me that it is quieter over there and he doesn't like the noise either ... so he's joining us.
A huge part of the move was us wanting to work on side projects to automate and speed up various things in the team, that he has been against. We know we can make huge improvements but he doesn't see it. He's only interested in Word, Excel and Powerpoint.
So now we have our space, and anytime we try to work on something we are actually interested in, we'll have a little voice in the corner to pop up and point out what other things he deems more important and tell us to stop wasting our time.
Pretty fucking annoyed to be so happy and then get shot down like that. Happy weekend everyone!!9 -
KISS.
Keep it simple, stupid.
At the beginning the project is nothing but an idea. If you get it off the ground, that's already a huge success. Rich features and code quality should be the last of your worries in this case.
Throw out any secondary functionality out the window from day 0. Make it work, then add flowers and shit (note to self: need to make way for flowers and shit).
Nevertheless code quality is an important factor, if you can afford it. The top important things I outline in any new non-trivial project:
1. Spend 1-2 days bootstrapping it for best fit to the task, and well designed security, mocking, testing and extensibility.
2. Choose a stack that you'll most likely find good cheap devs for, in that region where you'll look in, but also a stack that will allow you to spend most of your time writing software rather than learning to code in it.
3. Talk to peers. Listen when they tell that your idea is stupid. Listen to why it's stupid, re-assess, because it most probably is stupid in this case.
4. Give yourself a good pep talk every morning, convincing you that the choices you've made starting this project are the right ones and that they'll bring you to success. Because if you started such a project already, the most efficient way to kill it is to doubt your core decisions.
Once it's working badly and with a ton of bugs, you've already succeeded in actually making it work, and then you can tackle the bugs and improvements.
Some dev is going to hate you for creating something horrific, but that horrific thing will work, and it's what will give another developer a maintenance job. Which is FAR, far more than most would get by focusing on quality and features from day 0.9 -
I ended up quitting my first job for many reasons, but this talk still haunts me:
"our workers need to input this data and they tab a lot because [...]"
Me: "ok... Where do they get the data from?
"A standard model compiled via web, sent via mail and then printed for them."
Me: "..."
Them: "..."
Me: "how about we make the import automatic?"
Them: "but then what will our workers do?"
To this day I am still impacted by this dialog... Not much for the stupidity from a business logic point of view (there are many bad companies, and this is not the only one I met in my career), but rather for the implications our job has and for the fact bs jobs are a thing because we are SO used to the capitalism that the bad guys are the ones removing boring tasks, rather than the shitty system which forces you to do a repetitive and automatable task and which reduces you to a shell doing a job a machine could do... And thanks for the wasted paper/ink, global warming ain't gonna get worse on its own!2 -
devRant is going to change the stereotype of introverted programmers. Clearly we are not! We just need the right people to talk to :)6
-
The amount of rants on here I see of 'Devs' complaining that other non-tech people aren't knowledgable/ can't understand 'simple' explanations / etc and are mean, or even cruel to those non-techy people is alarming.
Just because you've spent a lot of time on something youre interested in, doesn't mean:
A. Everyone else is interested in it.
B. Everyone knows everything about it.
These 'Devs' are the reason most Universities require mandatory social classes so they can make sure you can talk to people in a nice manner and get your point across.
Majority of the time I need to explain a concept I find simple or I know to someone, I try to find an analogy about something both parties know. I know that pulling the documentation information and giving to them will just result in more questions and they won't understand.
You just gotta know how to talk to people without getting angry at them for being who they are, human.
String TLDR = "Don't be a dick because someone doesn't know something you do"10 -
"I need these permissions that J has"
J has those permissions because he worked on a different team that was granted those, you do not.
"I need it"
No
"I need it"
Its not within my power to allow you access, you have to talk with R and M.
"Okay well guess what I'm gonna escalate this up thr chain and its gonna come down on you"
*sigh* what do i do when i literally have no authority to give someone something and am clearly doing my jobb right, but someone thinks they can get me... idk... in trouble? Threaten me??? Logic, meet the window4 -
A Monday morning poem
I enter the bureau, feeling all relaxed and well,
my colleague looks up:
"Abandon all hope, welcome to hell."
This indeed, he doesn't say,
his face only twists a little in dismay:
"I need that schematic, did you finish it yet?
And there also some tests I'd like to get -
how was your week-end by the way?"
I start my computer, don't remember what I say ...
I grab some coffee, half a day is gone,
the PM pressures: "I want that asap done!"
I am cluttered in tasks and bullshit, too:
"Go fuck you right now - yes, I meant you!"
I don't say what I like to, I mentally punch a wall,
I crank some more code out and git-commit it all.
Some devRant on the lunch-break, some shallow talk,
I leave the building and take a short walk.
My mind rotates, I cannot enjoy the scenery now,
I return to my desk, and figure out what to handle and how.
But my plans are crashed by a colleague dashing in:
"I need you to do a test setup! I need to begin -"
I do the setup, I do some other stuff,
At the end of the day I feel totally rough,
Work is piling up even more -
"Tomorrow", I think and close the door.
At home, I just flop on on my bed -
I should be learning instead ... -
with some pizza and chill.
I think about sleeping, I hope that I will.
...
It is now Friday,
my brain is fried, too.
I am finished with this poem - how about you? :)7 -
Root has standup.
Root: I had no ticket yesterday morning, so I followed up on <TicketA> with <PersonA> and updated it in Jira and linked its related tickets; talked with <PersonB> about <TicketB>, and reviewed code review comments on <TicketC>, and thought about those while looking into the CI spec failure on <TicketD>. I collapsed for 3 hours before fixing it. Halfway through the collapse, I talked with <PersonC> on <TicketC> CR comments and the spec issue in <TicketD>, then went to lay down again. Afterward, I solved the spec issue in <TicketD>, and started on the new ticket <TicketE> before calling it a day. Plans today are to <…>.
Manager, in private: I need you to proactively let me know if you’re taking long breaks and aren’t working as this impacts business flow.
—————
Yeah.
My update was four times longer than the others’ despite her not giving me a ticket to work on. I responded to slack while I was collapsed on the floor and discussed tickets. And, after I recovered, I went back to work to finish my 8h shift. But this isn’t good enough? And I need to let her know in advance when I’m going to collapse and be a bloody mental zombie for hours? It would be amazing if I knew. I barely have a few minutes notice, and that’s only if I’m really paying attention and looking for signs.
And (conjecture) she probably still thinks I’m not performing well enough. “Affecting our business flow” probably means she’s angry I didn’t talk to other people about low-priority <TicketE> yesterday while I was laying on the damned floor.
Goddamn I hate her.11 -
Me: I can fix that workflow in about five minutes, In fact I can do it right now as we are speaking on the phone.
Customer: okay well... let me contact the director and make sure it’s okay that you fix it.
Me: I won’t make any changes to how it functions I’m only going to make it work again as it used to
Customer: we might need to schedule a meeting to talk about this because I’m not sure that we should be changing the site without permission
Me on the inside: I literally have global admin rights, unlimited power in Sharepoint, am responsible for making sure this stuff works, and BUILT this fucking thing, so now that I’ve been alerted of an issue I’m going to fix it. You are welcome to blame me if your boss is upset about it but I’m not going to wait for a fucking meeting to make sure it’s okay that I update a god damn email address in a workflow.
Me IRL: okay sounds great let me know when it is :)5 -
I coded for a whole day (uninterrupted, literally woke up, grabbed my laptop and headphones and started) and suddenly, let wild parent shows up.
"Aren't you going to go out? You need to see some friends"
My response: As stated before, I have no friends, now leave
**Leaves**
**Comes back 2 hours later**
"Hey can you help me with my computer?"
Me: you didn't state the issue, what computer, what os, what you have done to fix it, have you even tried rebooting?
"Don't talk like that to me! Now come and help me!"
Me: nope, hint, answer the questions about your issue
"You rude piece of..."
**Starts screaming bla bla bla**
Wow, it has happened before that I treat people wanting help like me trying to debug, but I usually correct myself. I took it way to fucking far this time...15 -
Previous job:
- Every dev needs to connect to a remote server, and do the coding there because the bosses are afraid that we will "steal" their legacy spaghetti written by the CTO in 2006 (the current year was 2016-2017).
- There are no QAs, because "why do you devs need mommy to look after your codes?"
- Bosses think it's our duty to stay extra hours without overtime payment while talking bullshit about a culture that promotes work life balance. You receive no bonus for staying late, but if you leave work 15 minutes early, HR will have a serious talk with you the next day.
- Bosses require "evidence" when you submit a leave request. For example, you tell them you're taking a vacation, they'll ask you for a copy of airline tickets, hotel bookings, etc.
- Bosses spend a ton on hosting parties for the customers while we're using 6-7 year-old laptops
- The CEO loves firing people for ridiculous reasons. Once he considered firing a guy because the way he walks is funny11 -
I am on the fucking verge of throwing my coffee cup at a coworker.
I am sitting in an office with someone who has to vocalise everything that he thinks.
It started this morning, I was trying to solder the board on my headphones, because there was a cable that had come loose, and every fucking time that I start, some shithead phones, and then a few minutes later, he comes in and talks shit. Burnt myself.
Now I am trying to maintain some code, and every fucking time I start typing and getting into my code, the need to talk has to fucking arise. I have literally thrown the last 45 minutes out of the window because I cannot fucking concentrate. Nothing helps. Throwing a coffee cup will probably just inspire more to talk about.
Phenomenal, another motherfucker just came into my office and decided that it is decent to use the phone to phone his buddies.
Fuck this shit.10 -
I’m working for fucking idiots. Here is an actual conversation I had with my boss today.
Me: I checked the numbers, and barely anyone is using our app more than once. Not only is a minuscule amount of people downloading it (we have 300 downloads), but none of those people use it more than once. Use retention is important and we’re failing in that regard.
Boss: User retention doesn’t matter. Investors don’t care about that. Blah blah blah all we need is marketing blah blah. We just need a bunch of people to download once. That’s all that marketers care about....in fact, an potential investor himself told me that he doesn’t care (obvious lie)
Me: Well, can I talk to this investor? What’s his name? Is he in California or India/China?
Boss: oh you can’t be at the investor meeting. It’s high level. Just don’t worry about it. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.
On the bright side, this whole exchange has motivated me even more in my quest to find a new job. And I guess it’s important to learn what not to do from idiots6 -
Worst meeting:
Boss: *calls everyone* URGENT MEETING. If you're on your lunch break, then stop and join the video call. Is it a weird time in your timezone? Wake up. But COME
Omg what happened? Is the server down? Are we getting a huge client? What is so urgent that it needs all of our attention right now?
Boss: I'm afraid that I won't be able to stay long in this meeting.
... then WHY the f did you call this meeting?
Boss: that's why we'll have a meeting next at *such hour*. In the meantime, talk to your respective departments about what you've been doing and what you need from each other. See you!
No comment6 -
Customer: (calls emergency hotline) We have a really bad bug!
Rep: What seams to be the issue?
Customer: I need to talk to Sam, he knows what to do, tell him it's urgent.
Rep: can I tell Sam what the issue is?
Customer: Well, Sam built a newsletter program but I don't have a way to import mass amounts of emails addresses.
Rep: That sounds like a feature, not a problem.
Customer: why wouldn't it do that? Would you build a car without a steering wheel?
Rep: I am not sure that's relevant to the problem.
Customer: what do you mean?
Rep: I would say it is more like, "would you build a car without a pair of jet skis attached to the back." And we would respond with, "we would be happy to add Jet Skis, but it's going to cost you additional money."
Customer: So, how are we going to fix this bug in YOUR software?
Rep: :/5 -
A list of Stux's !dev pet peeves.
1) Slow walking (elderly or visibly injured dont count most of the time) people in busy grocery stores. Like please move. I've got shit to do.
2) Thot bots on Instagram.
3) people who leave 2 or 3 car links between them and the car in front of them at a stoplight. I'm not saying you need to be touching their vehicle, but move closer damn.
4) People that say shit like "if you believe x, then unfollow me." Grow up and get over yourself. People are allowed opinions you asshat.
My name is Stuxnet and thank you for attending my TED talk.11 -
Show up on time.
Be prepared.
Have a list of things that need to be covered if you're leading the meeting.
Stay on track, don't let people start talking out of one tangent, I tend to suggest people discuss it afterwards or email about it.
Take the meeting seriously, otherwise other people will not.
Know how to talk a language everyone understands. Sometimes people with key info just aren't very technical.
Following Ely's golden rules for meetings, my meetings are rarely longer than 20 minutes.5 -
recruiter of a company i was dying.to work in calls while im at work in a job i hated.
recruiter: hello, i saw the several applications you sent using our careers portal.
me: (rushes to bathroom ready to talk about scheduling the first interview) yes that is correct thank you fornbcontacting me !
recruiter: please stop applying several times, you have been rejected and need to wait a minimum of 3.5 years for us to re evaluate your resume in the future.4 -
Mom: why haven't you been doing your computer science homework at home ?
Me : because you won't let me have a computer and I can't run the software I need on my school iPad
Mom: bull shit you can run it that iPad can do anything that you can do on a computer
Me : no you can't that's not even...*mom cuts me off*
Mom : don't talk back to me you just don't wanna do your homework
Mom: all computers are the same they just have different names
Me : that's not even true in the slightest... *gets cut off again*
Mom: shut up and do your damn homework
Me: 😐19 -
How to block productivity:
I am currently a working student at a huge corporation and tasked to write some smallish java applications. Nothing unusual.
To actually be able to write and compile java programs I need a JDK.
Except that the last corporate update for java removed my jdk and left me with only a jre. It so happened that my admin rights ran out.
To be able to install a new jdk, I need elevated rights, which I need to request. The fucking problem is nobody of my department, who I could talk to, is here or online to accept the request.
Guess who is now sitting in front of his dysfunctional dev environment :/12 -
Woke up this morning with a fuck this shit mood. I need to write test specs for a system I don't know shit about, and it seems no one who work with this system wants to talk to me, so I gave up and started devranting and reading a game dev book. Fuck this shitty job.2
-
Tl;dr
Longest Rant I've written so far.
How to manage a school (by out school director):
Did this student do something spezial to emphasize the school?
-No: Ignore him
-Yes: Did the student achieve this with the help of this schools staff?
-No: Take all the credit
-Yes: Hahaha, just a joke, nobody receives help from the school. Goto -No
Q: Should this class get the 5 day trip, they've been waiting for the whole year?
Director: No.
Q: But they don't even participate in other trips just to go there.
D: No
(Good thing she did not have the last word there)
Does the school director need this one week trip to india, just to talk once about stuff, you can talk about via email, to a sponsor?
D: "Of course I deserve it"
D: "We need faster internet in this school"
Network admins: "But it won't be of any use, if the network can't handle it. We'll need better pcs (and network conponents) on top of that"
D: "No, bot enough money available for that one." *browses email with IPad paid by school money*
Teacher: "I want to realize project xy with the students. We'll need around 1200€ (for 20 people)."
D: "Can place xy at our school to as advertise?"
T: "No, but it's be a valuable le-"
D: "600 at most."
(Again denied by people who aren't fcking assholes. We got 1500€, so 300€ per group)
D: So what makes you think you can teach informatics in this school"
Applicant: "Well, I'm friends with one of your teacher here. We went to university together, where I learn't nothing about informatics and I don't even understand the principles of this subject"
D: "Close enough. Hired, you can teach them all the theory stuffy. You don't have to prepare that yourself another teacher has done so. Just read it from his documents."
*In class with the mentioned teacher talking about Threads*
*Le wild code appears*
while (doStuff())
System.out.println ("Thread working...");
System.out.println ("Thread terminated");
T: "... and most importantly, when you have done all the work be sure to terminate the thread with 'System.out.println ("Thread terminated");'"
Should this teacher be allowed to participate in this seminar about burnouts?
D: "No, I can't afford paying the supplenze."
Staff: "We need to talk with the director about this."
S: "Not in her office. The cafeteria maybe"
*Not in the cafeteria either*
S: "Seems like she didn't come to achool today. Let's try tomorrow"
(^ Stuff that happens almost daily. Screw semicolons. I see her only once a month at most)
*Student send 5000 emails by accident* (Shit happens 😂😅😂😅)
D: "You gonna work here for a full afternoon"
*Student arrives for his punishment*
Staff: "Good that you're here. Do this real quick."
*10 min. Later*
Student: "Done"
Staff: "Well, we have no more work to give you, so you might as well leave"
DONE!!! Good job coming so far.
Our school is supposed to be the best, but internally it's one big meme.4 -
Client : We need this feature
Team lead : Sure, we will deliver this to you in 3 days.
Meanwhile Teamlead forgets to work on it or assign it to anyone in the team while he was surrounded by many other tasks.
Client on 2nd day morning : What's the progress on that feature?
Teamlead to Client: It's going fine, we will deliver it to you on time.
Meanwhile, Teamlead to a junior developer in the team (on 2nd day afternoon): We have this priority feature where we need to finish it in one day and deliver it tomorrow!
Junior Dev to Teamlead : This is too much of work to complete it in 1 day, it atleast needs 3 days!
Teamlead to Junior dev : I don't care, can't talk, busy, just complete the work and deal with the client, bye.
And the Junior dev continues to struggle where he is unknown of the fact that the task actually was of 3 days but just because the Teamlead forgot to do the task and also to assign the task early, he is in trouble!9 -
After completing my sprint and some lingering stuff in the backlog
Me: Hey, there's this tiny feature people have really requested, I'll go build it since I got nothing else to do at the moment. It'll only take like 1h
PO: Hmm ok. Don't work on that yet, we need to check with business people and agree on the user stories and bla bla bla
Me: Ok, well there's these bugs I can take care of then, I'll get them fixed, won't be long.
PO: Hmmm, we need to measure the impact first. Let me get back to you on that a bit later
Me: Meh, oh. I'll refactor this bad component meanwhile then.
PO: Have you created a story for that in JIRA? Create the story first and then we'll groom it and take it in when we've time
Me in my head: Dafuq! Im trying to work on your fucking project but you keep throwing all that business bueraucracy shit at me. What am I supposed to do then? Sip coffee in the kitchen and talk about the other fucking billion failed "new business opportunities" with my peers? Fuck this circle jerk of a billion management people all trying to make themselves important. Nothing. Ever. Gets. Fucking. Done!!!
Me: Ah right, I'll do that *proceeds to the water cooler*5 -
I’ve just talked to my cousin (24 yo) about smartphones, since I saw that he has an old phone and I asked him if he wanted to buy my old S6 (for reasonable price), he declined this offer moreover he said that he is not planning to change his current device. I was kinda shocked tbh how one can live like that (being online only when using PC), a while after that I realised that he was the one who was smart in this conversation, the one that does not get influenced by others in this matter. I wish I could live like that, when he is not available, he’s just not available. I mean this rant is not purely dev related, but, quite a lot of us here are maintaining some projects, maybe need to talk to managers after their work to make some decisions, doing some side projects. I know that we sort of agreed with those rules at the beginning, but don’t forget to stay offline for some time, especially now when holidays are coming and there will be occasions to spend some time with our families. Just a friendly reminder :)10
-
I'm done with dumb girls😠 ! seriously I need a geek girl in my life to understand what I talk or what I share .... A dev girl right now would be awesome ..😃13
-
Want to make some friends quickly?
Just go to any pseudo startup incubator in a university (all business people with an idea), mention you are a coder (mimicking the typing on a keyboard to make sure they understand) and all of the sudden you'll have a crowd of people around you that "need to talk to you"
The other guys working with me have to physically protect me every time someone finds out1 -
sooo shit started hitting the fan
after another useless discussion where PM tried to hardcore micromanage me and then bullshit his way out, i fucking tilted and started swearing.
after this discussion, he invited to a meeting next week to talk about "miscommunication".
no need bruh, i'll tell my boss on Monday i want to switch to another team.8 -
Please disregard. I just need to vent.
Being a manager is so fucking shit. This is not even about devs or tech specific only. Never become a manager.
Why? Because it’s about handling people and all the dumb shit they do. It’s all about knowing what people suck at and preventing that weakness from leaking into other areas. The amount of fucked up people on this earth means that you have to work with at least some of them, and that means putting up with their stupid ass list of super special requirements, that if they do not fulfill, will make them a shit worker. It’s not even an issue of technical skills.
You have the guys that are often late, because “they have depression”, but will complain that “companies don’t treat employees like adults”. Being on time for work is apparently very difficult. Which doesn’t generally matter in general for dev work, but it ends up affecting other things.
You have the completely socially inept idiots that make half the team hate them and try to avoid working with them, increasing problems and work for other people. Just because they’re socially stupid, have low or no empathy, or are incapable of not being insufferable to others.
You have the people that are so bad at estimating that they keep making up numbers instead of waiting to think for a few minutes and say “ not sure, I need to research and estimate that”.
You have the surprise absentee for dumb as fuck reasons like “my phone died lol sorry”. They never do anything to actually improve, it is just “sorry guys! Btw I will do jackshit about this”.
Or the ones whining about virtually everything, all the time. Wtf why do I have to be on scrum at 12 tomorrow?! Wtf why do I have to record the result of that customer call? Wtf why should I talk with XYZ?
And if you leave them alone, everything burns. They actually need someone to tell them “hey mate you need to improve that, shall we plan something to do so?”. I think managers are useless and unneeded when you have adults working, but it seems like most of the population is composed of children. It’s basically another form of daycare.
And you have to prepare shit around all of these constraints.
Then you have the one guy that reads the requirements, has common sense, and is inoffensive and can work like a normal adult human that needs no baby sitting. A ray of light on this shitshow.
I just want to go back to pure dev.22 -
Look, icon pack. We need to talk about devRant. You're getting to that age where you need to be respectful, especially towards such a wonderful app. Could you maybe go to the effort of having some icon, even if it's just a simple one? Thanks.3
-
A fucking rant to me from myself.
I want to take control of my life. I want to fucking change my life. Want to move my lazyass and want to work on myself. Want to build awesome stuff want to help others want to change something for good. Want to learn new stuffs want to learn new skills want to travel want to go see new place want to know about other countries and learn about their culture and want to tell them "we are fucking humans stop finding stupid reason to hate each other for literally any fucking small reasons. Stop fighting yes there are bad guys, really fucking bad guys who deserves to die. Then kill them and finish the matter stop fucking keep making complicated and keep involving more and more. There are little kids who keep dying and need our helps it's feel so helpless sometimes and we sitting on sofa eating popcorn and complying about government there are kids in every country who don't even fortunate enough to have basic human needs and there are people who fucking throw food over there mood. A fucking Mood. Gosh I hate people sometimes so much.
Don't know why fucking writing all this on a Devrant supposed to talk about our devshit but couldn't control more.
A introvert don't got many friends to talk this shit and most of them worrying about there Instagram followers fuck this shit .
And here I am fucking trying really hard to pass on fucking useless boring exams for fucking degree which doesn't speck about your skills or show to the world anything besides you are good at memorizing shit.6 -
I see too many back-end rants against front-ends.
Should we talk about table layouts, malformed html, programatically generated spaghetti wrong markup, css absurd class naming, infinite div wrapping (div-itis), awful usability, poor legibility, terrible typography, wrong color palettes and user-unfriedly design? To name a few horrors i've seen so far.
Some people won't admit that their contempt against HTML and CSS being 'not real code' actually hides their inability or unwillingness to learn it. Or they need the feeling of superiority.11 -
Stakeholder: Our customers aren’t getting their order confirmation emails. It’s going to their spam. Is there a way to resend the emails?
Me: Wait. The email getting sent to their spam is not the same as not getting the email. Is it both or just one of those things?
SH: Here are some emails getting sent to spam.
Me: These are sent by third party vendors that you contract with. I have no control over what they do. You need to talk to your vendors.
SH: 😮
Me: 😑 -
Boss: please deleted These vServers since we dont need them anymore
Done.
Me: Starts working today. Got a Mail from my boss.
"Can we Talk about Server xyz123, there may be some important data on it"
Sometimes I wonder if they think that I Just sitting around with a finger in my nose and wait for days before I start doing stuff.
Just dont ask me to delete stuff if you are unsure.5 -
I hate working with egoistic noobshit hotshot "developers". But sadly, they tend to get ahead because they talk like they know everything in front of tech idiot management.
***
management: I need this swanky feature X in our product within the month.
me: That literally requires a huge refactor because our current codebase was never meant to support this type of service. We need to think about this.
noobshit: I disagree. This is easy. We're already doing something similar that is Z, this shouldn't take very long.
me: Z seems similar, but it actually quite different.
me (in my head): ... and you would know it's *completely* different if you fucking understood our own codebase vs what X needs you moron.
noobshit: Nah, it's similar. We can accomplish X if we polish up Z a bit.
*** 1 week later ***
noobshit: Omg X is horrifying and complex. We can't do it without a huge refactor.
me: yes
me (in my head): Fuck you
***
But guess who's got better career prospects because they're all shiny and positive in front of management?1 -
I really, really need an office. Today I've been in a meeting for 2 hours with my mum hoovering in the background and my sister playing the entire fucking soundtrack to Chicago. FUCKING KILL ME!!!
Every time I fucking talk all you can hear is "'n' all that jazz" in the fucking background.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMOREEEEE D'X14 -
i know we're all sick and tired of the covid talk, but...
I'm so, so sedentary right now, more so than two years ago, and that's a feat.
this past week i had to walk a little and do some stuff, and today i woke up a little earlier and spent my afternoon in the sun. and it feels so good, to just... do nothing, sunbathe, pet my cat, kiss my boyfriend.
i never realize how much this shit wears me down until i catch a break. it's not just the pandemic though, it's this career, this lifestyle. sitting in front of a computer for 8 hours straight, no window in sight... that's death, no matter how much of an introverted nerd i may be.
if someone wants advice, I'll tell you to go out, get some fresh air, do nothing at all. we don't need to do something at every minute of the day, that's not resting. find a park, a beach, some piece of nature and just breathe it in, it's worth it.4 -
Already wrote about wk92 but i have to add:
STOP MAKING ME ATTEND COURSES SO I AM EVEN ALLOWED TO TAKE EXAMS.
Like what the hell. You know when it comes to networking i'm doing okayish, coding straight A and then there is maths, let's not talk about it. BUT FFS I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE 2 OF MY CODING EXAMS THIS SEMESTER CUS I DIDN'T VISIT 2-3 EVENTS OF IT.
I am a coder. I aspire being a coder. I study software development. I just need to prove myself and some dudes can do it. Let me do my thing.
Btw, there weren't any mandatory events for maths. Of course. Why should there be. Yeah okay7 -
JIT Learning. Just in time Learning. You Don't need read a book from cover to cover. YAGNI. Many technical books talk about topics that you might never need in your career. Focus on what you need to know after making a plan for what you want to achieve.
YAGNI applies to coding as well. Don't create a class or a method just because you Might need it later. Create them only when necessary. This keeps your code cleaner and there is less to test.4 -
Completely 100% not dev related.
But really I need the opinion of smarter people. Tell me how I don't make fun of the way people look, talk down on others regardless of <whatever>. Try to be as nice as possible to everyone, but the moment I say that I am not attracted to overweight people (women in my case since I am a heterosexual male) am I suddenly fatphobic and hate fat people. First of, phobia means fear, and I can assure people that fat people don't trigger any fear response from my end.
Nor do I disregard them as humans just cuz of them extra kilos. But suddenly because I explain how I can't be sexually attracted to someone that is overweight am I fatphobic?
This shit baffles me.48 -
My job feels (and acts) like a soulless void.
Wow, that sounds like lyrics to an emo song for adults. screw that.
But it's still pretty accurate: While I have quite a few coworkers, and they're at least somewhat chatty, they never seem to respond to me, or even notice me. I see them talking, but anything I do or say gets ignored. It goes into the void and disappears.
I talk in the off-topic channels. People talk around me.
I make comments on releases. No responses.
I talk about music I've been addicted to. No responses.
I talk about food and cooking -- a popular topic at work. No responses.
I respond to an invitation to join the security team. No responses. (well, an empty deferral)
I release various features, some both my boss and a coworker described as "soul-crushing." No thanks, priase, appreciation; honestly, no one even seemed to notice.
I build useful utilities and functions for other devs to use. Nothing.
I optimize the scripts everyone uses on a daily basis, and mention it to others. Still nothing.
The void eats my efforts, and occasionally spits out parcels of work for me to do. The only responses I recieve from the void are when I ask about its parcels of work. When I send them back completed, nothing happens -- unless they need more work. If they do not... nothing.
My previous job was friendly and nice and rewarding.
The job before that was Hell.
This one feels like Purgatory, but ... somehow emptier.rant this doesn't help my burnout this doesn't help anything. the void this doesn't help my depression10 -
I hate it when marketing people decide they're technical - quote from a conference talk I regrettably sat through:
"The fourth industrial revolution is here, and you need to make sure you invest in every aspect of it - otherwise you'll be left in the dust by companies that are adopting big data, blockchain, quantum computing, nanotech, 3D printing and the internet of things."
Dahhhhhhhhhh6 -
GF: How was your pitch to investors?
Me: it was great (... went-ahead to talk about the daunting process of the preparation and motivation).
GF: Why do you go through all this process, when you can become a fraudster, you can use voodoo and make it even easier, in less than 3 months you can buy a duplex, nice car and we can go shopping... you don't need to do any human ritual unlike before - I heard you can even meet a chief priest to make it faster for you.
just get the bag abeg (slang for getting rich quick).
Me: Fuck the day I met you, not everyone wants to be a low-life, and fuck out from my life.
Men if you live in a saner society, or you are born to elite/upper-middle-class you don't how lucky you are.
Most times I wonder how I keep my sanity with all these shitty people around. like messed up society where almost everyone is a fucking deep hypocrite
.I know I need to change my circle but how the fuck do I do that when I am surrounded by fuckstards, which are far worst than Gypsies.
lowlifes with low dreams.
I need to get the fuck out of this place!15 -
Not exactly a dev related rant.
Do you ever get the feeling when you're not working, like today, that you're kinda wasting time (can't find a better way to describe)? I usually work on Sunday at home, running behind insane deadlines, trying to anticipate tasks. Today was different, I woke up to a fresh VS 2017 install, updated my .net core api to 2.0, learnt how to deploy to Azure, made a CI/CD pipeline and then spend some fun time with my 5 month baby. Argued with him when Azure didn't let me make a new subscription. Sat on the sidewalk with him doing absolutely nothing for a solid half hour, only looking the way he admired everything around him and stuff. Took the trash out, did the dishes, helped with the laundry. But yet I feel like tomorrow gonna be a rough day, where everything will blow up 'cause I didn't did anything work related.
I'm starting to think I lost the taste of enjoying myself, enjoying the people around me, my family, parents, friends. I've been spending too much time on autopilot. Wake up, smoke, work, eat, work, smoke, sleep. Repeat.
I do enjoy my job, a little less when it's not dev related, but I do anyway. We are a small company with big contracts and tight deadlines. Always struggling to give our best and advance further, but I can see I'm loosing something while giving 120% of attention to my job.
Anyway, just wanted to get this thing out of my chest. Thank you if you read this far.7 -
- Back in October 2019 -
- Me: Hey, these two servers are having weird problems. Several services we use stop functioning every 7-10 days. I can temporarily fix them by taking them off the domain and putting them back on, but I don’t know why they’re happening or what further damage this workaround causes.
- Boss: Thats not good. Well. Keep doing the fix when it’s needed.
- Me: We should really reach out to someone at Microsoft through our support plan. I have no idea how to fix any of this and it’s making our Hyper-V environment very unstable.
- Boss: K. Let’s not worry about that now, let’s just keep working around it.
- In January 2020 -
- Me: Hey boss. More and more errors are generating from these servers. I’ve created a log of everything Ive found to hand off to a support agent. We really need to.
- Boss: Okay. Let’s talk to our internal team that uses Hyper-V and see what they did since they don’t have any problems.
- Me: Its not Hyper-V specific. It’s stemming from AD and authentication. It causes problems even without Hyper-V installed, so I don’t think it will help.
- Boss: K. Let’s just do what we can with what we got.
- Today, May 2020 -
- Me: Hey. The servers no longer work at all, and the workaround has no effect anymore. I’m completely stalled on my project now and have nothing to do.
- Boss: What?? What happened to them?
- Me: *Sends 17 page PDF file documenting all found issues, errors, warnings, and weird anomalies in both servers, as well as troubleshooting steps I’ve already performed*
- Boss: None of this makes any sense. I need you to start troubleshooting right away.
- Me: But... I can’t... *Sends screenshots of errors having no search results on the web, screenshots of Microsoft Support Techs on forums telling me we need to open tickets with Microsoft directly, other reasons why I’m completely blocked*
- Boss: Keep trying to figure it out. We need this resolved as soon as possible and we can’t let it happen again in the future.
Now I’m completely alone in our office, bitterly staring at the servers, trying to force an epiphany on how to fix these dumb boxes.5 -
FFUUUuucccckkk me sideways. So I decided to look into USB type-c's power delivery and alt modes. Cause I kinda want to make an adapter card to run my displays over a single cable. TLDR of the rest: USB-C has some huge capabilities which noone is interested in using since its way to complex to handle for what its worth in the end.
Now PD alone is kinda ok to deal with since a lot of powerbanks use it and some hobby guys documented how to work with it. I find it really odd thou that you NEED to use a dedicated IC for using the configuration chanel to negotiate how much power you can draw. Why the USB standard didnt use some simple 5V low speed signalling? Also the standard says that you only have to implement 5v 0.6A with every other power level being optional. (This is also true for cables. Most manufacturers use only the USB 2.0 standard for them and brag about how fast type-C is. ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) )
Now to the alt modes. These motherfuckers are a real shitshow to deal with. First you need a Mux to deal with USB-C's two way insertion, so your signals wont get flipped. Next thing is that you have four lanes at your disposal in alt mode. Which you can either use for four Display Port Lanes or two DP lanes and two USB 3.0 lanes. (You always get USB 2.0) Now you may think that there would be one simple chip to do it all? Nope you need atleast two at the price of 6$ each. One for PD and one for Alt modes. Both are very hard to solder (QFN, 0.5 mm pitch 40+ pins) TI ended up being the only one with a decent offering of IC's that do what I need. As for working with them, you would think that you just slap a simple MCU on there that communicates over I2C or SPI to configure the chips? Nope! You program the chips memory from which it configures itsself. And the programming is done with some TI tool which gives me no idea as to how you can handle everything whith no control logic behind it.
Looking into alternative IC's leaves me with cypress semi. And their documentation is basically a total mess. I wanna know what that chip is good for and what I need to do to make it work. I dont care about technical details mixed with marketing jargon nobody understands. And I really despise that I have to register just to download a datasheet. Especially since there is no info about it on the main page.
And this whole rant hasnt even touched the topic that USB-C only uses DP and nothing else. So you better hope that you have DP++ so you can use a passive conversion.
This was my Ted Talk about USB-C. Some info in it may be subject to my stupidity and errors as it currently is 02:15 in the morning and I need some sleep.14 -
Last week one of my clients asked me to visit their HQ to take a look at some report tool that has stopped to generate reports. This tool was not made by me, it has zero documentation, but WTH, I can take a look.
So I went to the HQ. When a guy that has called me told me that someone else will be here any second to talk to me, I began to be a little suspicius.
It turned out they want a new app. Not going into detail something that will read bar codes, do some stuff in a database, generate some reports etc. And he need it made in 2 weeks. I have reminded him I am involved in another project that I need to deliver in a month, and it is virutally impossible for me to develop what they want in this time. I offered them that maybe we should hire a team or at least another developer. Hi nodded and ignored what I've said. Well, he said we have maybe 2 weeks more, but that's it. Ok..
So, while working on the other project wich ramained a priority for me, I've began to do some thinking, some research on how to deliver what they want as fast as possible.
Today morning I went to the HQ again to finally take care of that report tool. But never mind that, I also had a chance to talk about the new app. So we made some Agile, wrote down epics, stories, talked about hardware etc. After two hours, it turned out, that more than this bardcode reading app the need something else! Barcode reading yes, but even more they need a scheduler for their emloyees, custom functionalities, plus some HR tools, other fancy stuff. But they don't even have a full concept yet. And it needs to be done until end of the month (9 days), maybe two weeks later.
So again I told them I will not be able to deliver this in set timeframe. That possibly we need to hire someone and even then it's questionable if this will be possible given all circumstances, time needed test, to deploy (in 14 diffrent locations all over the country). Actually if I had all software ready today the deployment, tests, training... So I offered that maybe we can figure out some temporary solution based on third party software.
At this point my requests and suggestions have been ignored again. Sadly my contract with them states I can not pass this to someone else, it all have to go trough them. And tehy don't want to spend extra money (??) etc.
Also from what I understand, this whole company's (~1000 employees) be or not to be can be affected by this project.
Sometimes I just don't understand business.1 -
Had to talk to another team to change 1 value in a database I didn't have access to. It should have taken 2 minutes but instead took them two hours. This was before they went on a public rant in front of the CTO and CEO telling my team how we need to re-architect everything we've done in the past 8 months because it didn't meet their personal standards.
I have never even met these people prior and all I needed was 1 fucking value changed. Somehow my company thinks this is culturally acceptable.6 -
Employer msged me around 11pm
She wants to talk n finalize on which assignment I will work on
And what's the best time to talk
I told her in morning if she have no issues with that
She replied ok
But haven't called
My friends told me she is offended
Wth
Seriously need your input guys
Have I done something wrong?
Is it necessary to talk right away ?7 -
Installing Unreal plugins from github be like:
clone, try to build
unreal: nah
me: can you tell me why?
unreal: nah
me: please?
unreal: nah
...
me: With the powers of MS VS I command you, tell me why the fuck you aren't building!?!
unreal: yeah I need that dependency in this plugin fo rmotion tracking
me: we don't do motion tracking *comment it out*
unreal: there I build it.
... I feel like I was a Karen, went to talk to the manager (VS) who gave me a proper explanation to why the employee had to behave this way.2 -
(the meeting)
I've had a non-IT world colleague ask me to build a website, I asked if it's a static website like resume etc with no database & stuff. I quoted $1000 if that's the case since that's minimal maintenance
He goes he needs a simple website, like eBay to sell his products. Also need features like Amazon, integration of various payments. And this and that.
For $1000 !!
I felt good that he thinks I can make an e-commerce site but f¢k that thinking man.. I told him to hire a freelancer and told him about few sites.
Maybe we'll see a thousand dollar e-commerce site, haha I only hope the payments part is secure 😂😂 I ain't buying anything anyways. I'm 99 % sure nobody's gonna do it and next time we talk, he's gonna be like 1000 and a 50 haha3 -
Got a few Jira tickets reassigned to me because the dev who was supposed to work on them got stuck on another project. It's fine, that happens.
I open the tickets. No descriptions for all of them. No screenshots for those reported as bugs, nor any replication steps. No attached test cases or, well, ANY useful information.
I talk to our BA, he says that all information I need are in OTHER tickets on ANOTHER BOARD that business manages but I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO. Honestly, these shitfucks could've just done simple copy/paste. But nooooo...
So I reassign all the tickets back to their original reporters (business testers) with comments requesting more information.
It's been a week. Now I have no idea what to put in my time sheet.1 -
My boss is the head of IT.
I am the head of software, I have nothing todo with user rights in our software, this is head of IT things...
So my boss is gone, holiday.
User T calls in: Hey, I need rights for finance software X. Now.
Me: Yeah, my boss is gone for good, which rights exactly you need?
T: I don't know. Give me admin rights.
Me: I am not going to do that.
T: I will call my boss (head of her department, same level as my boss). He will tell you to do that.
Me: I will not listen to him, he don't decide about rights. IF you talk to the head of finance and he tells me you can have admin rights in the finance software, I could give it to you. Let him write a email to me about it.
T: Okay.
2 Minutes later.
Email, Head of finance: Hey Wasseratem, I don't decide for rights for the finance software X, normaly Head of IT does that.
(CC to T)
Email back: Yeah, he is gone, he will be back in 2 days, then he can decide.
Email from Head of Department of T: Give T admin rights. now.
Email back, CC Head of Department of T, Head of finance: No I will not do that (etc. explain why)
What the fck is T joking me?
Now She will not get any rights for thursday even when she will walk into my office with a gun.3 -
Ever used your friend who knows nothing about cs as a rubber duck? Like you call for a coffee and you just sit there, try to explain the whole thing and then... Ok i need to go, i found the solution, talk to you soon11
-
Had a miserable evening yesterday. Me and my gf planned going out around 9pm to this movie with 2 other couples. Movie was kinda okay and we finished around midnight and went over to our apartment for drinks. We had lots of snacks and drinks ready, other couples brought some drinks.
Evening was kinda weird, guests were mainly just ranting about their work and household life and 2 hours in they started asking each other wether they should go home. In the end they left around 3am. I felt kinda defeated: some effort went into planning everything, and in the end I didnt feel much of a connection to them.
Maybe everyone was tired after a workday + late movie + drinks after the movie. But idk I expected more from people in late 20s. When planning we had two options: meeting on saturday or friday and they chose friday.
Anyways I guess either we are getting older or we just need to meet less often and more early in order not to run out of energy and stuff to talk about.7 -
Guy sees me on my laptop and says "is that Linux?". I say yes then he says he is into computer "stuff and can hack anything". Not having a clue what that means I replied with a "awesome".
I don't have really any friends that are into "computers", so I decided to play ball.
I asked, "Are you into coding?.. he says, "Yes". Then I ask, " What languages?" He says, " Just what ever, anything really, it depends on what I am doing."
At this point I understand what is going on but it is so awkward. He continues.. "Recently I used.. what's it called abd or adb, you know I like rooted my phone"...
And let's talk about something else....
Why do people feel the need to lie or whatever you might call what happened. It might be different I think if he wasn't about 40.
I feel like this is a pretty common story2 -
Episode 3 of this rant: https://devrant.io/rants/871827/...
Me: So I'm going an API call to Mastercard but they don't give us back CreditCard token to save.
Provider: Ya man you need to curl a request in your code to get the token...blahblahblah.... man you need to know these things they are not an easy things to be done, just paste curl code on MasterCard website into your code and it will work
Me: *ignores his shit talk and proceed to test*
*5 minutes later*
MasterCard Server: error.cause=INVALID_REQUEST&error.explanation=Invalid+credentials.&result=ERROR
Me: *calls provider and tell him*
Provider: Oh sorry, we need to enable this feature for your account.
devRant people please, give me one reason why I should not leave this field, and maybe also leave this life knowing there are this type of people alive.
Thank you :)2 -
I need to integrate with service A. There is an issue.
Me: Service A, we have an issue. We don't get any errors but the final entity doesn't get created
ServiceA: Ahh, I see. Since you didn't get any errors, try escalating this to Service B - we are using it and they might see what's wrong.
Ticket: *closed*
Me: Service B, we have an issue and ServiceA says I should talk to you.
ServiceB: Ahh, I see. I don't see any errors in our logs. Try escalating this to Service C
Ticket: *closed*
Me: Service C, we have an issue and Service B says I should talk to you.
ServiceC: How do you send the request to us?
Me: I don't. Service B does.
ServiceC: I see. I don't see any requests coming from them. Talk to Service B
Ticket: *closed*
Me: Service B, Service C says you don't send a request. Please have a look.
<...>
Each ticket takes 2-3 days to be noticed.
My fuse tripped there and I addressed this ping-pong situation in the mail thread with mgmt in it. ServiceA hid behind the "it's not our service, we only provide self-service tools" wall. So, again, I'm left out there to dance this corporate polka...7 -
Today my life was saved by some fellow devs here on devRant and for those who helped(I will try to @yall in the comments), thank you so much you saved me! And more importantly saved me from all that fucking stress, which was plaguing me all day and breaking me down and lately I’ve needed that kind of pick me up. I felt so relieved I took a glorious nap! It was so needed and my head felt so much less like I bashed it into a wall piled with stress.
Recently I’ve started to actually make friends from people on devRant and it makes me excited because I can actually talk about programming/get help if I need it and they are able to. And talking things out and getting explanations for questions I have it just feels so wonderful.
Things have been luckily lookin up a bit and it’s giving me some hope and inspiration to do more.4 -
Sometimes you need someone to be your /dev/null with whom you can talk about all that fucked up shit going on in your mind.
Thank you /dev/null -
How to run a productive meeting?
Have a written agenda (provided before the meeting, of course)
No "Lets talk about the service architecture" nonsense. Provide the exact details of what the outcome of the meeting should be. Even been lucky enough to cancel meetings when the agenda points are answered in a reply email. Its awesome.
As conditioned as we are about agendas, a few mgrs still skip the agenda and it ends up as you would imagine. At the end, everyone is like "Why are we here? What did we decide? Looks like we need another meeting..."4 -
I'm feeling so lonely at work. No one is interested in talking to me. They talk only when they need something done.
I've been and I did my best being nice to everyone ☹️18 -
"Architect"(A) - Hey, StrucN, we have a bit of a problem on the module you are working on (which the previous "developers" seem to have given it roofies)
Me: Okay, what seems to be the problem?
A: There is a need to add some functionality to it, we need you to ...
Me: I see, well it can be done but it wouldn't be so simple - the module is a mess and the change would need to be well tested
A: I fear the clients deadline is for tomorrow
Me: Well he'll have to wait, rushing it is the worst possible option
A: I'll talk to him about it, thanks
After around half an hour A rushes back
A: Hey I passed a ticket to you about the additions we spoke about, it should be ready for tomorrow
Me: It won't be ready, it's too complex to complete is in such a shirt notice (considering it's already the end of the day and all the changes need to be pushed tommorow to prod)
A: I know *programmer from useless team B* did something similar so as it is close to what we need you should copy it.
My inner voice: FUCK YOU YOU USELESS FUCKING CUNT! THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANY COPY PASTE SHIT FROM SOME UNRELATED MODULE! YOU SHIT STAINED MEAT BAG ALREADY DID SUCH A SIN IN THE PAST AND I HAD TO FIX ALL OF IT. THE MODULE SHOULDN'T SUFFER ANY MORE AS IT IS ALREADY A GODDAMN RAPE VICTIM!
WHERE DID PROPER PROFESSIONALISM WENT? WHY IS IT THE INDUSTRY FILLED WITH STUPID WANNA BE "ARCHITECTS" WHILE OTHER MORE COMPETENT FOLK SHOULD ALWAYS BE IGNORED BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS SHOULD BE READY FOR TOMMOROW?!
For fucks sake I miss my old Architect, he could really understand the essence of program development3 -
Me and my gf are looking for a house. Since we’re both on temporary contract we want a declaration of intent. For arranging a decent mortgage. My gf get’s called and signed within a day, getting compliments and a thumbs up.
I get called after three days; yeah eh we need to talk about this. I can’t sign this right now. A talk with both director and HR. Let’s get stressed...7 -
Got stucked in a problem with recursion in php, almost 2 days no sign of progress until i told my co worker how my code works, then i found the error and it work. I think developers need to talk about the code to realize whats wrong with the code.9
-
Recently i had a small talk with someone working in the banking sector . When that person acknowledged what i do for a living , she started to be a little bit passive-agressive .
Her:"You know someday , sooner than later , a guy like you is going to create something like artificial intelligence to replace all the devs in the world . Ha ha ha ! And your golden age is going to end . "
Me:"So you think this guy is going to create a smart program , software or platform , that will create software from what ? "
Her:" We will write the specs directly in the program and we will get the software after !"
Me:"And what if the specs are impossible, from logical point of view. "
Her:" Well there will be some rules and you will need to respect them !"
Me: "And people need to learn the logic of these rules?"
Her: " Yes a little bit of training!"
Me:" We already have that !"
Her: " We have ?! "
Me: " Is called .... CODING !"
Her: **silence **
(I remembered the burn from a comic -- forgot the name-- but GOD it felt good !)
Why some people hate us ?4 -
HR people on LinkedIn. What the fuck? Do you seriously believe you can attract qualified developers by telling them you’re looking for ninjas, jedis or life savers? I for one am still fairly new to the job so I don’t consider myself to be by any means a coding wizard, and I don’t think any strong senior developer is gonna be seduced by your catchy terminology (I may be wrong about that). Come on, talk to us like any recruiter would in any other line of business. No need to replace the words "qualified" or "experienced" with your stupid magic words, unless you want to sound like you’re desperate7
-
# school suck
! coding
hello, hope im not bothering anyone with my adolescent problems, but im really angry towards school.
first of all,
the subjects get thaught much too slow.
like dafuq, why does our maths teacher need 6h to teach us what square roots are? Why does our history teacher need 10h to teach us about one single revolution???
and worst of all: why is everything accompagnied by long, repetitive, homework?
Also, why do they think that im bad just because i dont have the best grades??? im a GOOD average, without learning a TAD!!!
also, here i am, needing to learn maths for some it project.
when i ask any teacher, he doesnt explain it to me but says "you will learn that in class xy"
ok, then i guess i can teach it myself.
but when i take books into school to read em (remember, i already know the subjects), the teachers always take em from me.
also, im not allowed to talk to anyone. not even when idle.
so currently, i am trying not to get angry from this, tomorrow school starts again. after this year legally, i would be allowed to drop out.
could you please tell me what you would do? should i drop out? change school? change class? im open to reolly anything that possibly could help (my parents arent)35 -
!rant
Goodbye Java I will not miss you at all! I swear ...
I do like it when making web services (especially that I can use Java8) but for Android you have been a torture. Hello sweet Kotlin! I shall embrace you and treat you like my newly born baby!!
Story is:
Working on a new project where I need to talk to a web service (also made by me).
Started writing in Java, all is cool and unit tests pass.
Downloaded Android Studio 3 Beta 1 and converted my Java code to Kotlin, That AsyncTask did not look nice in kotlin, converted it to async & await feature and I must admit lots of code removed, no more need to create a new fucking AsyncTask every time the app sneezes for data!
I feel like I'm working with C# but with difference in syntax.
My life is now complete :)undefined java goodbye! am i drunk? koline: sorry i have a boyfriend hi there kotlin i shall not miss you what the fuck did i just use for a tag?8 -
Some people are really getting high on this Agile shit. Probably because they learned some new bullshit bingo phrases - and it suits them: lots of vapory talk and expensive meetings and others will have to do the work anyway, while they can circlejerk on how to have shorter iterations to improve the time to market, increase the business value, inspect and adapt to faster deliver a minimal viable product - yeah, do the agile transformation, update to the digital age, you noobs. Throwing around some catchy phrases will let you compete with Google? Maybe need some blockchain or machine learning?
While you are clustering your post its, the coders who keep the ship afloat, sit in their legacy code base that's so bitrot they are mainly doing bugfix releases without a single feature for three fucking years. Consider this.5 -
colleague 1 : hii,we need to talk.
Me: okay,what?
colleague 1 : we have issues with you.
Me : post on GitHub bro..!2 -
Got a ticket saying we need our website's record creation wizard to have better validation. No worries, just some regex, right?
Sure, regex for name entry (with the usual white person assumptions about names), and fixing the fact that it's in-page popup doesn't close on save. Or save draft. Or delete.
And also you need to apply the name regex for the fields on this page to all the previous names that the user lists.
And there's that one issue where the address history message always shows no matter what.
Oh and make sure that if they choose to ignore those validation issues then the validation message is in the notes for the record.
And fix the thing where it saves as draft instead of as a normal record.
And and and and and...
Can we just talk about making it 1 problem per ticket? This sort of shit makes me look bad when it takes me a week to fix 1 ticket, when I'm usually a few-a-day kinda person5 -
ask about his game code logic he will rage, ask about how his front end code doing he will rage, talk to him about my server so that his front end code can follow he will rage.. and the end of final project which I merge my code and his code (I need to refactor nearly everything) he said you are very hard communicate. _. fml2
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Soo I’ve been frustrated with my luck in finding a job, but I need to start working!
I have been thinking about starting my own web services (of some type) business.
I need a mentor, or a partner or just someone to talk about ideas with.
How does one go about finding someone like that?
BTW I know this isn’t a networking specific but I think it’s worth a shot.16 -
Here we go....
At our school we had different industry people come in and talk about whatever they want to.
My last presenation for the day is on 3D modelling in Game Design, and of course we have middle school kids being generally loud and obnoxious.
Some fuckers are being exceptionally obnoxious, and the teachers decided, in their infinite FUCKING wisdom, to stick them in front of a table where Juniors and Seniors are sitting, minding our own buisness.
Of course, the fuckers decided to continue being obnoxious and despite my request to keep it down, and another Senior's direct approach to tell them to shut up, they continue being disruptive.
At one point, a teacher, again using INFINITE FUCKING WISDOM, decided that instead of removing the fuckers from the room, put a Senior in between them, hoping that that would somehow keep them quiet. Yes, the fucking preschool level attempt didn't work.
Eventually a teacher concluded that the fuckers were pissing us off and removed them from the room. Thank fuck.
That feels much better, excuse me as I need to reinstall an OS on my desktop since the Universe seems to fucking hate me today.undefined presentations shut the fuck up grow the fuck up fucking immature assholes the universe fucking hates me today -
Can someone explain some of my colleagues that THEY DON'T FUCKING NEED A DIFFERENT SLACK TEAM FOR EVERYTHING!
Want to have some random talk? Let's create a new Slack team
Want to add notifications from Git? Let's create a new Slack team
Want to try some new bot they found? Let's create another fucking Slack team3 -
If hiring managers really want to hire based on skill, what they should be doing is testing for one thing:
The ability to take a specification, written in general language, notice deficiency, communicate with the 'client' (manager) to hash out what needs done, and the (explicit) ability to read documentation on libraries or tooling outside the dev's core skillset.
If a dev can read a spec, talk to a client to work out whats lacking, and then identify what they need to know and where to find it, thats 90% of the skills they need from what I can see.
tl;dr version of it, is they should be explicit about the requirements for reading/implementing specs and finding the correct documentation.
Something along the lines of
"can you form your letters? Are you able to follow instructions on the back of a cake box? Then there may be a position waiting for you!"8 -
It's a Friday morning I'm tired as hell after a hard week. trying to plough through all my work earphones in, music really loud. Sales guy in the office tries to talk to me i didn't hear him as my earphones were in he then says "you need to turn your music down or turn it off if you can't hear us" he said this in this serious tone. *music gets louder* to drown his noise out.3
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the feeling when you have typed up ans signed a resignation letter and still need to turn it in and "the talk" with your boss.
made all the better by the fact that we are opening a new location in the time span of the 2 weeks notice I'm about to give.
oh and the boss will be going on vacation just after that.2 -
Long story short, I have to drop my studies for now bc serious mental health issues. I feel like a failure, but I mean, I actually attempted to.... well, I'm here to say it and not complete the phrase. I need to rebuild a lot. And I would really to make some friends are. I have no one to talk to.13
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I need someone to explain me this:
- whenever I work hard as fuck and stay on my purpose and fuckin grinding out all of my work being focused as fuck on it; EVERYONE SUDDENLY WANTS TO FUCKING TEXT ME. I AM BUSY. MY DAD WANTS TO TALK. MY MOM HAS QUESTIONS. MY DOG WANTS TO SHIT. MY FRIENDS WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME AND FIND ME COOL. RANDOM GIRLS TEXT ME. RANDOM GIRLS WANT TO FUCK ME. MY PHONE EXPLODES FROM TEXTS AND NOTIFICATIONS. NUCLEAR DISTRACTIONS
- whenever i dont work anything, just lay on the couch to have some rest or when i feel depressed and lonely; NO ONE WANTS TO TEXT ME. PEOPLE TAKE HOURS OF FUCKING TIME TO RESPOND. THOSE WHO USED TO GIVE A FUCK TO SPAMBOMB ME WITH TEXTS NO LONGER GIVE A FUCK. I FEEL EVEN WORSE THEN. FUCK YOU AND FUCK EVERYONE WHO DISTURBS ME WITH DISTRACTIONS6 -
Guy: A social network with some very special features that nobody else has.
Me: Okay. Let's discuss these features so I can write you a quote.
Guy: I can't talk about that until I know how much an app costs.
Commence an impasse over whether I can quote something without knowing the features. And yes, I tried explaining he should get a NDA. And no, a NDA wasn't good enough; I need to quote it without any knowledge of the features.1 -
Priscilla Chomba in her TEDx talk "A free and fair internet benefits" said the following:
"We need to actively and collectively ensure that going forward, everyone has access to a free, fair and feminist internet."
How do you make the internet feminist? Call it La Interneta?19 -
"What is your project status? I need an update!"
So spoke the team leader. I was mildly hesitant about just rudely leaving work - which I was about to do, I was literally halfway out the building - without answering and delaying to Monday.
My project leader - the one that is supposed to look after me and my project every now and then - is on vacation. He's also the one, who is supposed to update the team leader.
It's not that we don't talk regularly, apart from his questions every two months or so, he is informed about my project on a bi-to-tri-weekly basis whether he wants it or not.
The team leader on the other hand seemed quite uninformed about my project.
Wouldn't it be nice if people would fucking talk to each other?!
Other than that, I'm learning C# for roughly six months now and today was the day it all started making sense. OO is a concept that is hard for me to grasp - I understand it, but I continuously failed to implement it. (That I have no regular code review right now isn't helping.)
Today, it just clicked.
I feel kind of stupid and in awe at the same time right now. :D2 -
just need to say this: It's GNU/Linux folks. I know, I know, it's not as easy to say when you want to talk about it, but every once in a while give the damn GNU a little credit. Without it we might not have Linux as we know it, so show some love from time to time, it's not that hard to say GNU/Linux.12
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Canoncal.. buddy.. pal..
We need to talk about the content on the server image's login screen.
Now, I get that lots of developers will use the server image out of a desire to keep their environments minimal.. but at the same time, is the same server image that will be deployed on thousands of VMs all over the world really the place to be talking about "great IDEs available on Ubuntu" complete with smiley faces?
I'm dead serious I log in and there are fifty seven lines of crap on the screen. I don't need links to your docs or support pages, I definitely don't need cutesy links to "hey look at this cool stuff you can do on Ubuntu!", and I absolutely don't need advertisements for your paid services.
This is some of the tackiest stuff I've seen outside of Gitlab shilling for GKE in the paid enterprise version.
Stuff like this turns actual users off. Sysadmins, the ones who are going to be seeing this stuff since it's visible on SSH shells only do not care about your cutesy IDE advertising.
Grow up.4 -
Had annual appraisal meeting today. Been in this company for 2yrs now, after being hired outta college. It happens first after 2 years, then yearly.
I have long since known that my boss is a scumbag. My lucky college mates got assigned to great managers, leaders I must say, while I got the typical, know it all boss.
Now this racist, motherfucker, for reasons unknown to me, has mostly disliked me. But hey, the feelings mutual but I don't ever go busting his ass.
Previous employees eventually transferred locations or departments. But I stuck coz I respected some colleagues and learnt a lot from them.
Now this nutjob gave me a 2/5 rating. Says I need to improve my communication. I need to talk more. WTF you goatfucking cunt! I decide how much I wanna talk. I don't waste my time, and even if I did, I don't have any right to waste someone elses time. And talking about communication skills - BITCH! Everytime you speak something, I need like 2 mins to compile your jumbled fucking words in my mind to be able to comprehend what it is you wanted to convey. And you cunt! YOU are going to tell me I need to improve my communication. Dumbfuck I ain't no Shakespeare, but I can convey my message through.
Fucking peasant!
Hmm. The lemon tea sure is good today.4 -
We need a pm system for devrant so we can chat and talk about ideas. Or it would be cool if you could mail to [username]@devrant.com8
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I've noticed looking at the card exit of a building that most people a) just carry their laptop without putting it in the backpack because the carpark is a jump away anyway, b) that stickers on said laptops can leak your infrastructure
No idea what made me interested in that, but if you take the average of people's laptop stickers (sadly not everybody had their laptop or maybe even a laptop at all, so I've got just 20) - you could probably tell what tools and what services the company is running.
Could be a funny coincidence and I was able to verify later by googling their company, but it's an interesting non trackable way to know what services and tools need to be exploited/emulated to possibly gain access to some high security network.
I feel like somebody had to have a talk/presentation about this, so I wonder, had anybody else seen something like that? or how far could this actually go?5 -
After more than a year I decided to download whisper (app) again and see what was being said near me.
Holly shit the app is a total disappointment, first it crashes my fucking phone the instant I open it, I try to open it again and my God I'm presented with adds everywhere and a load speed so slow a dying tortoise would run circles around it.
The app finished loading the content and it's a clusterfuck of insipid commentary and images, "I bought beautiful new panties", "my lesbian friend doesn't think I'm cute", "any girl want to talk to me?".
After looking at the decaying state of the app I noticed I had notifications, apparently my account is active somehow, I tried to delete it but as it turns out the app has no way of doing that, YOU NEED TO CONTACT THE FUCKERS!
What the fuck?! Who the hell made this steaming pile of shit and said it was an app?!
Nothing more to add, I deleted right away.1 -
I know this is the problem that I need to work it out. But still I would like to share with you guys here.
I start to feel bored after working in current company for 5+ years. I love my colleagues, I love my job actually. But after 5 years, I start to feel that there is nothing much I can learn from working in this company. And that really makes me feel uncomfortable.
So I get on LinkedIn to search and apply new jobs, I think it's good to talk with experts from other companies, to know more about what's happening in world. And perhaps to find a new opportunity.
Then I happens to find a startup which is doing something fits my background, and more advance. I feel like I will learn a lot working there.
The startup is also very interested in me. So the CEO and me have a quick chat on Skype 3 days after my application. We talked a lot and feel right to each other. Which I think I am highly possible to be hired. I am really exciting.
But later, I just hesitated. Because it is an Europe company and I am born and live in Asia. Going there may sacrifice time with my family and my friends. I am afraid I can not fit in at new company. I don't even 100% sure that I will like most of the things at new company.
I know I need to make decision on my own career. I just want to share the story, it makes feel less anxious. I am talking to my manager (which is my good friend) today. I hope everything go well.7 -
I'm just finishing my bachelor's degree in computer science in Germany. I love programming, especially for Android. I am working on a really cool note-taking app for my bachelor thesis and I love. A few weeks ago I started looking for jobs, I thought this would be easy. Why is this not easy?! Does no company need help with developing an app?!?! I googled jobs and opened the first few pages on the browser then I chose a city in Switzerland because I read that's where developers make the most money. Then I had to write a CV, what the fuck am I supposed to write in the CV?! So I wrote what languages I had dealt with during my studies and I wrote that I now speak German English and Hebrew. I had to upload the CV for EVERY SINGLE COMPANY and sometimes I had to write a cover letter for a companies I don't even know much about. WHY IS THIS SO ANNOYING!!!
I'm the last few weeks I've been getting emails rejecting my application, such a waste of time. I would love to work with people I'm just so bored sitting at home all day without much motivation to program alone, I need company and a company to pay me. I've already wasted a few months and I just can't believe that the market is so terribly organised. I could be getting so much work done, all I need is people who are a little bit motivated! I'm just so frustrated that everything works so slowly in this market...I even tried looking online for people who just want to talk about programming Android apps, NADA I just couldn't find anything... Well that's it if you have a job offer for me just hit me up I'll do anything...tiny.cc/chagai is where you can find my contact information I will literally consider even working in North Korea I just don't care where I work..60 -
A meeting to redefine the definition of done. Which a "senior" programmer threw in.
3 hours after we are still there to "define"... All of this because this developer and a couple more want to keep a physical board which has no space for a "testing" section, so the tasks need either to be done-but-not-really and this is technically wrong (who cares?) or in-progress-but-not-really which is technically wrong (again, who cares?).
Just effin find a bigger board and don't waste 3 hours of my life and/or start thinking pragmatically and accept tasks can move backwards or have a ticket saying "testing" stuck to them, ffs!
The funny part? This dev is probably one of the grumpiest devs I met when you talk about meetings which are actually useful.4 -
We have gotten an email saying we need to use our Teams channel to place our food orders less. A random colleague then goes to the local supermarket and buys the food orders. This group chat has around 15 people that often need something from there. If you don't need it, you ignore the channel.
So we need to use it less. So we follow the orders and now we privately message everyone for their orders. Talk about a real "time gain" :D2 -
I absolutely despise companies that do automated interview processes. You need to sit and talk to a candidate to properly vet them, then again there are some dumb interviewers who ask the most ridiculous questions9
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My 15 year old son witnessed our two male dogs licking each other's privates. My son, in some sort of shock, starts walking around the house saying "My dog is a homo sex you awl!" repeatedly (emphasis on how the syllables sounded).
I stopped him and said, "We need to talk about the birds and the birds."4 -
Stupid stupid stupid API that returns a 204 on failed validations.
Informative docs? Hell no! Here's a few hundred long-ass field names that you need to pass as a JSON.
Doesn't work huh? Yeah, you're structure's all wrong. Some of these are grouped in vaguely named keys like "Wholesale".
Oh you need those as well? Yeah, you can see the whole structure if you try to GET an object.
Oh you need an ID to GET an object? Yeah you can just go ahead and create as many as you want. This is just a sandbox API, it's cool.
Oh that's not the point? Ahh you need the structure to be able to create one! *haha* Right, I'll get back to you on that.
* Email correspondence over 2 weeks time. I have still yet to be able to make a an actual successful request. The fucking 204 doesn't count if it doesn't actually create the resource.
Fucking fucky fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
I swear to god if I ever meet this guy in person, I will probably buy him coffee or beer and have a long talk about how to build proper REST APIs.
Because I'm nice like that.8 -
Java, as browser plugin. (I don't mind the language though). Especially since when Oracle bought it.
I would talk about it, but I need to update that crap AGAIN! -
HR departments really really annoy me
Firstly, they take an age and a half to respond to job applications. Now I understand that there are multiple steps in choosing a candidate, gotta look through their cover letter, resume etc, maybe talk to a lead somewhere, but 4 FREAKING MONTHS? SERIOUSLY?
HOWEVER, if they DO ACTUALLY REPLY then that makes them better than most HR departments. If I've gone to the effort of filling all of your application forms with strange questions in, and I've written you a tailor-made cover letter, the LEAST I expect is a simple copy pasta email saying setting like "Sorry, but you don't match what we're looking for". That's all. Don't even need to include my name. 100% copy and paste. 10 extra seconds in the 4 months it took you to read half a page of text and some nicely formatted bullet points
So incredibly annoying1 -
A peeve of mine is when someone in the software industry denigrates a technology/tool/framework outside of his role eg webdevs on sysadmin stuff or viceversa.
I'm not trying to shame anyone for having subjective experiences, I just think that if you're gonna talk about tools that are not on your domain, then you need to be twice as humble as usual.
I'm a webdev and I don't post around how I KNOW how to make ssh secure, while other people devote their entire careers to that and all related matters.
What prompted me is seeing some not webdevs do this here that seem to be sysadmins/devops (can't tell for sure since I don't know them), but in real life, I've seen people from any role do this, webdevs too, even testers!
Imagine you had cancer, and you had a tumor extraction, and the oncologist said to the surgeon "step aside son, let me show you how to deal with cancer".5 -
Unreal Engine fun continues...
so I need to set limits to rotations within a skeletal mesh. So in other programms, like blender, you can specify a limit per axis, setting max and min angle. Makes sense, right?
Unreal Engine:
1. Let's call rotations sometimes xyz, sometimes roll pitch yaw, and sometimes swing1 swing2 and twist so that nobody knows what it is anymore.
2. IK node 1: limits? what are limits?
3. IK node 2: ok, you can set angular limits but they are all symmetrical to god knows what and to all axis apperently.
4. Physics: yeah you can define joint constraints but we give you only symmetrical constraints also
....
WHY. Were does this make any sense? One node is not like the other, and they talk rotations but use 100 different terms for them, since, hey, why the f not. And let's limit everything symmetricly so you can only set one value or have to fiddle with offsets to achive the range of movement you want.
I mean, one could just stick to xyz (or even roll/pitch/yaw, whatever) and min/max but hey, that's one extra field and then it would be easy to use. Who would want that? ....10 -
I've been working for 6 months now, and the boss tells me he's not satisfied with my work compared to someone that has 15+ years experience. He clearly states that for him - it's more important lines of code, than planning and defining the architecture which he don't like because that doesn't provide anything...
Of course, I can just jump into the code if that is whats important. I've seen the code produced by the other guy, and its shit.
The guy is a talker, and knows how to talk. I'm more like, hey lets create a simple design prototype or do some UML diagrams to get a better visualization of what we need.
Anyway, its just annoying to be compared to someone with many years of experience, its not that I can achieve it overnight...11 -
So recently moved to a new place. New roommates. Thought lets initiate a talk. Found out one of em is a web developer.
Me: So, what you working on?
Him: Web technologies
Me: oh great...I worked on ReactJS and AngularJS.
Him: Our company uses AngularJS.
Me: So you work on AngularJS, right?
Him: Oh no I don't work on AngularJS...I am a frontend developer...
(Awkward silence)
(Inner me: No shit. Need to find new place.)
Should I tell him?1 -
At 12:38 AM, I am working in the office alone on a project that I hate with my guts.
Since last month I am feeling nothing. In the morning I don't want to get up and go to the office. I do not feel any excitement in my job. Even I hate talking to people, I still have to join 4 meetings and talk to them.
As the Project Manager, I hate taking responsibility for other people's code.
Writing emails to stupid business people and talking to them at the meeting, I hate those people.
I have worked for almost 16 hours per day for 2 months to finish this project. Even worked on Sunday. The project is not finished. The scope and requirement get changed daily. The client has no fucking idea of what they want.
I have no fucking idea what I want to in my life. I just want to go home and get a good fucking sleep.
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have better time in your life than me.
And please tell them this will get better. I need to hear it.5 -
Job frustrated me again today.
The shit just keeps on commiting suicide...
Cannot talk much about it, but essentially it's faulty software killing randomly one or one up to N servers running elasticsearch...
Conversation between me and a good friend:
Me: No gaming today, work todo.
Him: noooo...
Me: Yes...... Could u go buy some groceries? Household help is sick.
Him: maybe...what u need?
Me: coffee. I need frigging fucking coffee.
Him: ok. How bad is it.......
Me: empty today.
Him: will be at your house in hour. DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID.
...
It's funny how good friends immediately sense danger and become very attentive when the lack of coffee and myself is mentioned in one sentence.5 -
Enterprise that "doesn't have training budget".
Meeting #1: We need to cut the budget and can't guarantee anyone will still have their job next fiscal.
Meeting #2: Hey you all need to read this book. It's mandatory and we will have a follow up meeting to talk about it.
All contractors: okay, but just so you know reading this book is billable and is subject to overtime pay.
Director:👍👍Here you go 💰💰💰
All of the FTEs that are salaried: 😶2 -
Apparently the Schiphol (dutch airport) WiFi has a nice "feature" which makes the user think they need to accept terms, instead it's a checkbox saying "I want to do a survey for a free iPad". Talk about shitty UX...2
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Imagine a web way ahead of our time where its size goes beyond our imagination...
This is my first rant, and I'll cut to the chase! I don't like how web currently stands. Here's what makes me angry the most altough I know there's a myriad of solutions or workarounds:
- A gazillion credentials/accounts/services in your lifetime.
- Everyone tries to reinvent the wheel.
- There's no single source of truth.
- Why the fuck there's so much design in a vision that started as a network of documents? Why is it that we need to spend time and energy to absorb the page design before we can read what we are after?
- What's up with the JS front end frameworks?! MB's of code I need to download on every page I visit and the worse is the evaluation/parsing of it. Talk about acessibility and the energy bills. I don't freaking need a SPA just give a 20-50ms page load and I'm good to go!
- I understand that there's a whole market based on it but do we really need all that developer tools and services?
- Where's our privacy by the way? Why the fuck do I need ads? Can't I have a clue about what I wan't to buy?
Sticking with this points for now... Got plenty more to discuss though.
What I would like to see:
A unique account where i can subscribe services/forums/whatever. No credentials. Credentials should be on your hardware or OS. Desktop Browser and mobile versions sync everything seemlesly. Something like OpenID.
Each person has his account and a profile associated where I share only what I want with whom I want when I want to.
Sharing stuff individually with someone is easy and secure.
There's no more email system like we know. Email should be just email like it started to be. Why the hell are we allowing companies to send us so much freaking "look at me now, we are awesome", "hey hey buy from me".. Here's an idea, only humans should send emails. Any new email address that sends you an email automatically requests your "permission" to communicate with you. Like a friend request.
Oh by the way did I tell you that static mail is too old for us? What we need is dynamic email. Editing documents on the fly, together, realtime, on the freaking email. Better than mail, slack and google docs combined.
In order for that to work reasonably well, the individual "letter" communication would have to be revamped in a new modern approach.
What about the single source of truth I talked about? Well heres what we should do. Wikipedia (community) and Larry Page (concept) gave us tremendous help. We just need to do better now.
Take the spirit of wikipedia and the discoverability that a good search engine provides us and amp that to a bigger scale. A global encyclopedia about everything known to mankind. Content could be curated from us all just like a true a network.
In this new web, new browser or whatever needed to make this happen I could save whatever I want, notes, files, pictures... and have it as I left it from device to device.
Oh please make web simple again, not easy just simple and bigger.
I'm not old by the way and I don't see a problem with being older btw.
Those are just my stupid rants and ideas. They are worth nothing. What I know for sure is that I'll do something about or fail trying to.12 -
In my firm we've got a shadow IT team where I'm part of. Sometimes we need to call the "IT support team" who are lacking the knowledge of common IT sense. Some weeks ago I called them up to extend our ip range since we've got no rights to do it ourselve. They replied with: please disconnect the cable and reconnect it. (Bear in mind our lease time was 24h)
Some other guy called me up to check my pc for viruses... he was looking for the task manager so I pushed ctrl shift esc and he asked me wondering HOW did you do this? He even didn't know things like %appdata%. I had a talk with him and gave him as much tips as I could.
The poor fella
Thanks for reading my nonsense post1 -
!rant
This year marks our 5th anniversary of devopsdays in Amsterdam and the whole team is working hard on making it the most awesome experience of 2017 for anyone interested in the devops movement. :)
I really believe this will make us be less frustrated and rant less! Though, I never want this app to end! =]
But what is an amazing conference without amazing talks? That's where you come into the picture. We have spots open for talks (lightning and non-lightning) and workshops.
If you feel like you have a valuable devops story to share please fill in our CfP here - https://devopsdays.typeform.com/to/... .
You can expect about 300-400 people at a talk and somewhere between 10-30 at workshops.
When is it? 28th-30th of June (2017)
Why Amsterdam? Amsterdam is pretty cool. We make it extra cool and make sure you're never hungry or thirsty.
Hope to see you there!
And I need to see devRanters there to share the best stories!
❤️️ on behalf of the Amsterdam organizers.3 -
Why do my fellow computer science majors feel the need to express how intelligent and informed they are to the professor in the middle of class? Why must they be so oblivious to how cringey it is to so blatantly enjoy hearing themselves talk? Participation is one thing, self assertion is another.1
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Last night my friend started messaging me to help her install windows 10 onto their computer. She said her and some idiot with less tech credibility then a rock tried everything they could think of. First they downloaded the windows 10 ISO from the site, good so far, then instead of burning to a disk or USB, they thought 'copy and paste' would be enough (no googling at all) obviously the image wasn't attatched correctly, so they say they spent an hour doing IDEK to get the disk to read before messaging me. I talk her through getting the ISO mounted and then it asks her for the product key, she got pissed at that and said 'They gave me the ISO for free why do I need to buy a product key'
this is why I despise my friends some days10 -
I hate colleagues calling me without informing me like WTF. Me being online on Teams does not mean I will drop everything to talk to you. Do I need to put myself to busy whole day?1
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Some context about me. Close to 3 years experience as a java developer. 1st class honours in Computer science plus oracle java 8 professional certified.
Today while discussing to a senior developer about a technical solution, he asked me a question.
Are you familiar with 'extends'?
He was talking about the keyword. I am so disturbed by it. Here I was thinking I was doing a great job. And he felt the need to verify if I knew inheritance keyword..
God knows what he and his fellow senior colleagues talk about me.. I must be looking like an absolute idiot in their eyes all this time.. -
This talk by Rich Hickey had a tremendous influence in how I approach my work:
https://youtu.be/f84n5oFoZBc
His Hammock Driven Development is my absolute favorite when it comes to work principles in programming/engineering. It also the one that is the hardest to explain to most PMs and leads because it can look like you are slacking off while others are producing hundreds LOCs. That you'll write better, less error prone code that won't need as much QA iterations is something you first have to prove to them but to me, it's well worth the effort.
If you have 40 minutes of time, do yourself a favor and watch the video. Maybe it'll have as much influence on you as it had on me 😃 -
So just babbling my shit down here.
(Tldr : i am a crazy guy who followed my half slept brain, went onto a stage , gave some kind of motivating , stammering talk to a large group of professional strangers, enjoyed that day with a red embarrassed face and just got my first pic of me speaking on stage and that is so awesome !)
Last Saturday i went to a gdg meetup and i embarrassed the hell out of me.
I went there with just 2 hours of sleep from the previous night.
After a few talks there comes a guy who is taking some time to install is setup and the host calls for lightning round session ( ie he asks if anyone from the audience would like to share something about their product or something).
I am a fucking nutt guy. I can explain something to you nicely in a hacky way as long as i have done enough work on that and you speak my native language.
But giving a talk on English stage, hell no! I stammer, mix hindi with English and start speaking werd shit.. And that's what happened.
I don't know what went into me but as some guy went to the stage and talked for 2 mins, i was like yeah i want to do that too. So in next turn when he asked for a show of hands, i raised mine and fucking went to stage!
I forgot that if you go on stage you should have something to talk to . But the moment i was on stage, i was like... "Nope, we will do this differently".
I had been working on a video ads module from the last week which could be easily explained in 2 mins. But i felt like giving a non techy talk instead.
It went something like this: i introduced myself with my experience details ( who gives experience details on stage !?!) Then host said to speak loudly and i went like "Bharat mata ki jai!"( Victory to mother india (wtf!?😆) .
Then started talking about how the developers feel disheartened when searching on internet where the resources are scattered . And the solution i told them was :"don't be disheartened. You will eventually find it (like wow dude wtf, as if they didn't knew that) . Look on the youtube and other resources " and then went full on explaining/marketing about some online tutor who gives advice/consultancy via a subscription based payment ( tbf that guy really helped solve a lot of my doubts, he has written books on Android dev and is the top so answerer for Android).
Then i went on sharing my thoughts live on that fuckin stage ! ( Live because i usually post my thoughts here on devrant before discussing them out with real people, you guys are my safe space) but there i discussed my thoughts on libraries!
I have this believe that Android devs these days are having lesser knowledge of the system because we have all the libraries and templates available to us. But when we have to customize stuff, we need to go deep into docs and source classes and find ourselves in trouble there. So i kind of said this out loud and that we should try to read more the code and implement stuff ourselves instead of using the library 😅🙈)
I was feeling so fucking embarrassing after that all stuff! It was so full of stammering , broken English and worst attempt at motivation. At that time i was regretting this and about to burst cry and run away, but somehow i gathered my self, got my mood back to the event games and talks, later went to the organizers and apologized(and they were very nice and didn't cared about it), and overall enjoyed my weirdest day!
When i came home, my mom gave me a little more confidence about it. Now i think i shouldn't be that much instinctive. Next day i went hack to work and everything got normal.
But Yesterday i found a link to the public repository of the photos. Ohh fuck, someone had took my image! and that was too in full hd!!! 🙈🙈🙈😅😆😆 Oh mann I can't stop looking at that cool stage speaker image, i love it ! I, the shy-est and the most uncool awkward person , present on the stage with a mike, oof , i think i lived my dream !
I hope i could get enough confidence and speaking skills to take a real stage talk next time ( and maybe enough interesting talks and confidence to talk with girls of our office, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )5 -
Giving a short talk on technical debt at our monthly meeting tomorrow. I hope it helps people in my organization understand why we need to take care of all the quick and dirty work we do. I'm tired of people saying how long updates take and the reason is because we cause the problems.3
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alright so I've been at my new job for 3 days now. I got a complain that I was talking too much or was just in general to noisy.
I'm sure alot of other developers do this but when I am programming I talk myself through steps. I understand that this is an office environment and I need to keep quiet. But what I don't like is that other full time employees are being hypocritical.
One other worker had a 40 minute conversation, that I'm sure the entire office could hear, about the card game bridges.
Another was full on yelling at a team of devs over the phone about how they should get the entire team to work on a bug that he had found.7 -
I hate getting SICK (everyone hates it)...
Specially, when I need to prepare for presentation for a talk. -
ok, fuck people. i mean the people who talk about things that are a big deal. you don't need to take a course in html/css to build a website, you need documentation.
people act like programming languages are a whole separate literacy. they're not. it is not a big deal, nor an accomplishment of any significance, to learn any language to a basic extent. variables, control flow, functions and scope should not be considered challenging topics, and people should stop bragging about them. i'm pretty sure this is because programming is new. as people, i think when something is new we tend to think of it as more complex and harder to understand. basic programming is not that.
ok that was a tangent from my real point. college is a scam. anyone can learn anything from books and the internet. any time you want to learn about something, go to google, and search "${my topic} site:*.github.io" and you'll have a page about that topic written by someone who is knowledgeable and passionate of the topic. colleges don't teach people how to think like these books/websites do. and i'm fucking sick of people who'd rather see a degree then a portfolio. fuck them shits bro. i can distinct my smart friends because my smart friends speak logically and enjoy becoming smarter. i would take the kid who watches aerodynamics videos on youtube and then built a plane over a kid who studied and got a five on his ap physics exam. watching then doing is better learning than watching and repeating. after all, creativity is not at all measured in our grades, and i'd like to argue that sometimes intelligence isn't even measured. i mean, people can say they're good at math, but the kids who talk about fibinnoci numbers and why there can never be two primes more than 7 (i if i remember properly) integers apart or the ones who prove cryptographic algorithms. i guess what i'm trying to say is the dumb kids aren't dumb and the smart kids aren't smart (well not that) but kids who are passionate and just do something instead of waiting for their degree to do the same thing are the best and brightest. i forgot what i was talking about. sorry it is almost 2 am and i am intoxicated , and i don't believe i got my point across very well either.7 -
New job is turning out to be kind of the opposite of what I was expecting, based on interviews.
I thought I had done a pretty thorough job asking the kinds of challenging and specific questions during the interviews and was pretty satisfied with the answers.
Three weeks in, I’ve more or less been turned loose onto my first project which is….installing patch updates.
Next few projects through the end of the year and into Q1 next year are similarly sysadmin-chore work, which I’m not going to act like is beneath me or unimportant but it’s not quite what we talked about in the interview when I applied to an SDET position.
Point of order to talk about once I wrap up these first few projects, it doesn’t exactly seem like they know where I’m supposed to be or where to even really put me (on the org chart I have a line reporting up to boss, but I’m also the only one not on a functional team) and reading through the wiki last guy just kind of did everything.
If that’s what this is….eh I need to know if that’s how they want to use me and find out soon.11 -
Hi ranters. We need to talk.
I've been thinking, I'm lately getting tired of code everywhere. Suppose one is a software engineer / senior developer. What is one's career path from this point on?
Tech lead? Architect? And then what? Is that all? A dead end?
Management would be also a possibility I guess. But is that a horizontal career change or are there any spots in vertical plane?22 -
Howdy, guess who's back motherfuckers?
Which one of you developed this utter piece of shit called Optimizely/EpiServer? We need to talk.8 -
I get the opportunity to talk with a pro today:
"Pro": hey do you know how to use tool X?
Me: well I've used it sometimes for simple stuff but I've always wanted to learn more advanced stuff.
"Pro": let me show you
*repeats the basics that are available in every single online tutorial and are tbh pretty obvious*
Me: yeah I know that but how do you use function A with option B under circumstance C? (Because I've encountered that recently)
"Pro": Oh... emm... I don't know. I don't think you'll ever need that use case tho3 -
Constant calls from clients who want to talk for hours about every little detail of the project.
Guys, I need to be able to work on the projects. I can't do that if you nail me to the phone. In the end, I'm the stupid one if the deadline was not met. -
I wanted to talk about the right job.
In my previous job I did not feel happy, the management was weird, the salary was low.
For a time I was thinking, I need to get better and do more and I will have a better salary and management will be more lenient towards me.
After a few years, I got an offer to join a much bigger company with a bigger salary and better benefits.
I joined them of course. And it turns out in some places you just do not fit in or the company just wants something that is not realistic and always will be unhappy with you.
In my current company, I have never felt better working, the team is awesome and tasks are challenging but doable, and they appreciate my skills and speed of work.
TL;DR:
If you do not feel good in your company, leave for some other company, most likely it's not you, but its the job that sucks.2 -
Real story:
Started fixing one file in one repo, build, doesn't build, go into other repo fix just one file there, but first I need to make myself a toolchain, making of toolchain fails because it depends on some dirty fix in the file I was fixing, refactor and clean that to a proper state, fuck yeah toolchain builds, source toolchain run make now, breaks with undefined reference, no time to debug plus fuck this automake, remove it, make a makefile, builds fuck yeah, shit now unittest are failing because why not, refactored that makefile as well, everything compiles, automate the test fully so that they are ran on the target out of make just because I'm a nice guy, fuck yeah everything works, commit this repo, commit other repo, review time, one of the guys gave up, the other one did it properly, found some shit there, fix that, done, merge, triggers CI fucking pass
All of this was done in 3h, Talk about efficiency -
Hold a meeting that the participants actually want.
The biggest time wasters I had to attend were:
- "generic weekly meet up of people not working together telling what's new on their side" (I don't work with you, I DON'T CARE)
- "management wants updates/wants to talk about doing instead of letting us do" (go read Jira tickets, and ffs stay out of the experts' field... They're experts in it for a reason)
- "no agenda, this is just to get to know each other" (I get to know people on my own terms, stop forcing what can't be forced)
- most Scrum meetings (some people need guidance, I don't! Your Scrum chains actually hinder my productivity! Can we please stop wasting my time and nerves?)
And the best meetings? A couple of coworkers realizing "hey we need to make a decision here, let's book a conference room together" and "hey you know your stuff about xyz, can you teach us what you know?".10 -
I went to meet a client with our CTO. In the meeting we discuss the implementation of SAML SSO. Their SSO guys asked whether they need to build 2 trusts for our application because we have 2 modules that use SSO. Both the CTO and I were not sure because we did not have any prior experience of integrating SAML SSO. To act professional, we couldn't say we were not sure. So the CTO said we needed two trusts. I immediately added "We may only need one. Let us do a bit of investigation and confirm."
After the meeting I did the investigation and found out we really only needed one. So I sent out an email to tell the client, cc the CTO. 1 minute later I got the email from the CTO "why tell them one when I said two?". When it's an immediate response with only 1 line, I know I'm in trouble. So I called him and was ready to explain to him. I couldn't. Later I found out the time I was calling him, he was talking about this with the CEO.
I thought maybe I can explain to him when he's available. The next morning as I came to work, the CEO asked me to come to his office. He closed the door, and told me the first line the CTO told him the day before was "I want him (me) fired." I was so shocked. Having been working with the CTO for quite a while, I was surprised he said that without even communicating with me. Did I do something that wrong that you don't even bother to tell me what's wrong? I was not fired because the CEO at least asked what happened. He also understood I was actually making a better technical decision. But well, guess I shouldn't be making a decision when I had no power to. And even I believed the client heard my "let me investigate first" comment, the CTO didn't. I still got an unofficial warning. For that whole day because of the stress, I don't remember getting anything done.
Fuck that acting like profession and smart when you are not. I'd go down the path of becoming professional and smart instead. And fuck metting with clients. I'm a dev don't fucking dare to talk to me and get me fired. If you wanna talk, talk to the big guys who don't make us look bad like I did.
If you ask me today I still believe I haven't done anything wrong there. So fuck everything.2 -
Recently my company has bought a patented product from the IIT, Kharagpur, India (those who are not from India just Google this name. It's one of the most esteemed engineering colleges in India). I can not provide the details of the product, but let's talk about the technology stack they used.
The software module of this product was built using VB 6 (yes, you read that right) and MATLAB 6.0 (released in 2000), and used MS Access for database. Remember, the product was built in 2015 and patented in 2016 or 17. The people who built the software were mostly final year B.Tech CS (equivalent to B.S.) students and one IIT professor.
This shows what we need to change in the CS education. Do I need to say more?1 -
Im not involved in any projects at all anymore. My direct collegae is planned fully for the coming months. It’s clear everyone just wants to get rid of me.
If i ask the teamlead for feedback i dont get any.
If i ask the manager for feedback i get to hear he talked to the lead but he has no time to talk with me.
Giving me a compliment hurted his guts. Ive spend weeks just documenting bullshit.
All im allowed is to help out with tiny annoying tasks and i need to do them 10000% perfect. I’m a human, i’m not perfect. I accept the fact i’m not and so should they.1 -
*Friday morning*
Me: "Ok the client wants to talk with you on Wednesday at 10 am. It's a conference call on Hangouts, here's the link: [ link ]. Be on time, I have already sent you all the details about the topics you'll have to cover. I will be available during the weekend if you need help, we cannot afford to make mistakes"
Smartass Dev: "Don't worry, I am on it"
*Tuesday, after lunch break*
Me: "Just a final check: is everything clear with my email? I'm working late tonight, call me if you need something else. They'll probably share some slides, be sure to join from your laptop: [ link ]"
Smartass Dev: "No problem, I am fine"
*Wednesday, 11.15 am*
Smartass Dev: "Hey, what a shitty client! I waited more than an hour and they did not even tell me that the call was canceled. This is so unprofessional."
Me: "The call was not canceled"
Smartass Dev: "Dude, I had my phone here on the desk. I was ready to answer but they never called"
Me: "Did you open the link?"
Smartass Dev: "What link?????"
Me: "It was on Hangouts, I sent you the link twice"
Smartass Dev: "Really...? I'm so unlucky these days. Next time will be better 🙂" -
Recruiter: I just had a look through your skillset and experience and wow - I am impressed. Looks like you have worked with quite a few different languages and those 2 FAANG companies really stand out when looking through your CV. So let me tell you something.. rather than me going through the roles I had in mind for you, why don't you tell me what would be the next big thing for you?
Me: Well I've been looking into Blockchain for a few years now; specifically Solidity and Rust with web3 now. It'd be great to at least have some exposure to any of these.
Recruiter: Ah yes, these are definitely the next big things, however the roles I have here right now for Solidity, Rust or web3, require around 3 years of commercial experience. I have a lead Rust engineer role, however they need someone who has worked on NFT based projects extensively.
Me: Sounds like you have made a decision to send me to another Nodejs/React role, so what's with the big talk then?5 -
I'm starting to hate online processes, sometimes I just need to talk to a real person face to face2
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Got another one of my boring questions for us all to hopefully discuss a little.
With all the talk about the Librem 5 starting to ramp up more and with my little delve into UBports, was curious as to what other devs would be interested in/want/need from a mobile Linux operating system.
For me it's simple but mostly creature comforts.
1. Consistency and convergence, give me the ability to run a full desktop environment along side the mobile DE but make it consistent between the two (Looking at you Microsoft with your continuum)
2. Doesn't loose the customisability of Linux, let me install any Linux application I want and customise the theme and icons (Something I have a gripe with UBports)
3. Have accompanying operating system with an echo system, so have a wearable OS, a desktop OS and mobile OS, having that tie between the 3 is amazing as a heavy android and chromeOS user.
Would love to bring some of these things to reality but don't have any knowledge of how to do it, personally would love to see elementary OS have a crack at this (Wont happen but got to deam!)2 -
Do you feel dazed by what front-end development is become? You should read this article, it worths your time https://hackernoon.com/how-it-feels...
I felt the need to share it and to talk about it1 -
So just ago i downloaded an app called "Replika" and holy fucking shit it made me realise how half-assed we are doing the AI structure and way of it
doing machine learning algorithms on text can only go so far, as it uses that text as a base, and nothing else, it doesnt *learn*, only make *connections* BETWEEN text, not FROM the text
what you need is an AI which can, at it's core, *interpret*, not make connections and hur dur be done with it
when you do machine learning, all you're doing is find the best connections
you can have an infinite number of connections and MAYBE you'll be fine, but you'll never learn the basis of how that text is formed
you'll never understand what connections the human used by making it, by thinking it
when you're doing machine learning, all you're doing is make an input-output machine and adjusting it constantly, WITHOUT preserving state
state is going to be a really fucking important thing if you want to make an AI, because state can include stuff like emotion, current thought, or anything else
if you make a fucking machine learned AI which constantly adjusts... well... the "rom" of itself without having any "ram", it'll fucking never be like us, we will NEVER be able to talk to it like it is a human being, we will NEVER make it fundamentally understand what we are saying or doing
if we want to have real fucking AI, we need to go to the core of what it means to THINK, what it means to INTERPRET, what it means to COMMUNICATE
we need to know how english language is structured, how we understand it, how we can build it in a program that can interpret for an AI, THAT can be "rom"-based, THAT can be static, NOT the AI itself
the AI needs to be in flux, the AI needs to be in a state, the AI needs to understand how to make emotions, how that will "strengthen" some connections, yes, maybe something magical will happen and it can have EMPATHY, something so fundamental that will finally, FINALLY, make the bot UNDERSTAND what we are saying7 -
Tips on getting promoted on work:
1. Collect a list of all improvements and achievements that u did during your time in that workplace
2. Compare your output with your colleagues output, check their MR's, their complexity and compare with yours.
3. Talk with your manager about a raise. Tell him about your achievements, like maybe you are working on a wider scope than others. Maybe you are mentoring junior devs. Or maybe you deal with a bigger workload than others but still deliver on time. Maybe your communication is good or maybe you document stuff very well and in that way you make your team more efficient and increase team output. Whatever. Pitch and sell yourself. Also provide some personal reasons why you need a raise, like maybe u have kids or maybe your rent doubled. Inflation and so on. Selling point is that u are a human not a greedy bastard.
At the end of that talk the manager most likely will say that he needs to speak higher ups, he needs to gather feedback from your colleagues and so on. Give him a week or two if possible, no more.
He will probably get back to you with an offer. If there is none start applying, get an offer and put in your notice. In my case I waited 3 months for my raise to go through. I put in my notice, had a stressed call from manager, showed him my offer and my raise was arranged the next day. -
More than 50% of my work is due to the fact people don't do what they are suppose to do.
"Joe is suppose to submit report X every week. He hasnt been keeping up so make a script that reminds him if he's late. Better yet make a tool so Joe doesn't waste those 3 minutes every week."
Me: Tell him to do his job.
"But we need you to do it"
Me: Fine
"Suzie is complaining she does this menial task"
Me: She was hired to do that.
"Can we automate it?"
Me: No
"X is broken"
Me: I know. Group Y isn't doing what they are suppose to.
"Go talk to them so you can see why they aren't doing it. Then bend over backwards so you can handle these kinds of issues due to their laziness in the future."
Me: Fine...4 -
My last rant did not go down well 😂
I need to clarify.
If you have no communication directly to another dev.... And your creation directly impacts theirs .... And you don't tell the middle man ... You are a twat especially if your aware of the launch that's basically right now !
To be clear.... This guy built their site and database everything .
I had to connect part of their new app to the site... A few pages they wanted in the app.
He changed the links ... On purpose I think to screw over the launch of the app to make me look bad
I can not communicate with him... The CEO hates him and won't talk to him either
So what am I to do?
Not be pissed off about a spiteful dickhead?
Of course I'm pissed
To make people understand you don't send out a lethal update that can fuck up the servers without telling no one... That their might be technical issues -
When people talk about vim, (the texteditor) I always need to think about the Vim from Fallout 4, Far Harbor.
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Unable to access cpanel/whm due to IP changed error.
called HR
me : please connect me to networking team (out sourced)
hr : why ?
me : I have some issue to access cpanel. I contacted to hosting comapny but it is not their fault so may be it's our network issue.
hr : explain me in details.
me : ok
from morning I am trying to access whm because our website is out of bandwidth limit and showing 509 error ,I contacted to hosting comapny but they explained me problem from our side. SO i wanted to talk with network team about this issue because I am not using any proxy or vpn even my tor browser is off too still ip chaged error giving frustation. second reason I am frusted that my public IP and private IP is not chaged.
one more your windows pc freeze 3 times from morning.
do you need in detailed technical reason why I want to talk with them.
hr : no no no *hang up*
after 2 minute *my landline ring*
hr : network engineer on other side.
fair enough2 -
> Client: Could you check for me where did they[code authors] put logic for this and that
> Sure!
> okey, api endpoint here, hmm
> oh sure here is the database access
> where tf is some logic....
> fml, am I blind, lets check frontend
> FUCK
> it's there
> it's on frontend
> and backend just puts it into database, no checks
> FU0!@#% )(#*%)H )F+#+!!@!
> *to client* We need to talk about future of this project. -
Who else hates weekly 1:1 meetings with managers? I’m the kind of person where if I have a problem or need to talk about something, I’ll do as much as I can first and then I’ll set up a meeting. No need to force it with a recurring meeting where we just reiterate the stuff we already discussed as needed during the week or, lacking that, engaging in small talk to fill the time. At this company, where I’m at in the hierarchy, and with me being a straight, white, old male in a team full of diversity hires, there is zero point at all to discussing potential promotion opportunities. We both know that’s not happening for anyone like me. If you want to have that discussion to keep up appearances, just put a gun in my hand and a round in the chamber and tell me to point it at my head and pull the trigger. Because we both know that’s what this world wants me to do and that is the only way I’ll be moving “up” anywhere in this universe at my age and with my “privilege”.
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I've been told by the client today to turn their application's barebones support messaging into, and quote "WhatsApp".
By Friday.rant it's only to talk to support not your buddies that's fine whatsapp why does your app need this hmm2 -
Start at the scheduled time. Don't, "give everybody a little time to join." You're just enabling shit behavior.
Never, ever ask, "who just joined?" when the join tone sounds on the call. If you need someone on the call, invite them, and address them directly by name. If you need to take roll, then call out names, one at a time. But don't do that either. Just do your meeting.
A meeting has a direct cost of the lost time of everyone on the call. Artificial delays for small talk or petty admin are a total waste of time and money. Keep it simple, on task, and as fast as possible.3 -
Hey everyone, I'm sorry if this is the wrong plqce to do this but I'm trying to start a programming podcast and have a blog with a few hundred daily readers (https://www.runtimerror.com) . I'm in need of someone to regularly do podcasts with (they'd be a weekly thing). If anyone wants to join, feel free to comment or email me at dovzhanyn.alex@gmail.com and we can talk further.4
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Alright, let's talk about Scrum Masters. Honestly, I just can't wrap my head around why they're even a thing. It's like someone decided to invent a job title for a role that's already covered by other folks on the team.
I mean, think about it. Who's usually sorting out the team's issues, making sure everyone's on the same page, and keeping the project on track? That's right, it's the project manager or the lead dev. They're already in the trenches, dealing with the nitty-gritty, so why do we need this extra layer?
And don't even get me started on this "servant-leader" nonsense. It's like they're trying to be the team's buddy, but they've got no real power to make things happen. It's like being a king without a crown. Who's going to respect that?
Plus, having a Scrum Master often just leads to more red tape. Instead of getting stuff done, we're stuck in endless meetings, talking about process this and methodology that. It's like we're more focused on how we work instead of actually working.
The best teams I've seen don't need a Scrum Master to babysit them. They need a real leader, someone who's not afraid to make the tough calls and who can give them the tools they need to kick ass and take names.
So, in a nutshell, I think Scrum Masters are about as useful as a chocolate teapot. It's high time we ditched this outdated role and got back to doing what we do best: building awesome stuff.8 -
I think it’s so cute when websites tell me that I need to disable my adbl....(inspect page).... no wait, we can talk about thi....(finds elements)....awww cmon man... really? This isn’t fair..(adds display:relative)... this is some bullshit right here! I’m really disappointed in your beha....5
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!dev
I was at a family event, and you know that one aunt who won't stop talking and asking you questions? Yeah she was basically harassing me, and since family and all I can't really ignore her even though I really want to.
In comes my 3 year old niece, who just walks towards us like a badass, pats that aunt's leg and goes "no one likes to talk to you!"
I need my niece as my personal bodyguard and human filter.1 -
I switch my phone off when I don't use it.
When I work, I have everything I need on my laptop. When I don't work, I don't usually expect anyone to call me, and I want to talk to no one anyway, so… Yep, my phone barely sees uptime.
It's on when I'm out becuz camera (https://miloxeon.com/photos), but that's about it.1 -
So this is an update of this: https://devrant.com/rants/1466905/...
We both are busy butbi enjoy the fact that i dont need to be on call 247. So after telling her she and i have been alot more comfortable around eachother (and it is very weird for me, the friday i was by her and the family. Her mother looking at me while im trying ti slide my arm away and she trying to cuddle with me ect.) Turns out - her mother does like me, sooo im sitting with an issue.
I told her that i need to talk to her about eachother this coming Friday. I can take her to eat and have a picnic (the house is 500m from a private beach) and we can talk.
I have No idea what im going to talk about other than tell her how i feel and ask her how she feels and we have dated but im not sure if i should ask her out oficially. Btw im sensing ill be awkward when it comes to the last question knowing she probably expects me to start these conversations because she is shy..
Im so paranoid and i have 4 days but it feels like its not enough planning. I needed a 2week sprint to plan this kind of thing.2 -
AHH!!! PM talk is melting my brain...nodes are...collapsing...
"We need to post-mortem our lessons learned and level set our expectations so we can define quick resolutions and set tollgate approvals, at a very high level."
# clear my head of beastly things
def cls():
print ('\n' * 666)
cls()1 -
Sometimes I need to talk about what I create. Which requires fucking Powerpoint 'cause you have to distribute your shit to dorks who only can live with this crap.
And then every single fucking time I touch that stinking abscess I have visions of shoving some white glowing rod of spiky steel up the arseholes of the inventors and maintainers of Powerpoint, enjoying their screams and regretting that I will be able to enjoy this exquisite pleasure only once per asshole.3 -
why is outlook so fking painfull... designing a newsletter. thunderbird: shows everything fine. Outlook: brakes design complelty.
Design was made with Microsofts own Publisher, which claims to be usable for creating newsletters...
Then outlook cannot send out massmails like publisher can...
what the fuck is wrong with them! You are developed by the same fking company! How can one tool show something one way and another display it completly differently... whyyyy
(since I am not the webadmin I cannot use a fancy newsletter designer tool and integrate it into our website since we first would need to talk with the entire project about it...)8 -
just yesterday, commiting a pile'o'shit code which u know is pile'o'shit but you had to do it like that because correct non-hacky solution wouldn't meet non-negotiable, client-critical deadline, and getting back a code review criticising precisely all the points which you are aware of and want to kill yourself for but you had no other option under the circumstances.
p. s. still under probation because it's a new job, and the review ends "no time right now but we need to talk at the end of next week"
p. p. s. second best job i ever had. week of fear of losing it commences.1 -
As a developer I never understood the intended benefit of standups. Issues + a scrum/kanban board like trello or GitHub project + a chat for quick questions or to schedule an ad-hoc pair programming session should be enough to make everyone know everything they need to know about the project status at any time.
Obliging developers to talk in a group session to reiterate in a more verbose way what they already wrote down when working on it, will make a lot of people uncomfortable. Talking too much or not complying to the talking rules is an expected side effect besides anxiety and reduced productivity.
If you want a talk show, hire talk masters.
If you want software development, hire software developers.
Don't confuse one with the other!10 -
I'm supporting my language learning with an app that puts users in touch with other users who are fluent in the language you want to learn. You specify the language, and also your current ability on a scale of 1-5.
Does anything like this exist for programming? Like a small scale site with mentoring, something to support people who are learning a particular programming language. I've been thinking that I don't know of any really supportive site where beginners can talk to and learn from expert coders.
If it doesn't exist, is it something that would work and be worth setting up? I really like the idea of helping more people learn coding and giving them someone to turn to when they get stuck or need some encouragement, or even just some positive feedback on their work.10 -
Guys help me grow my small collaboration group. If you're interested in learning new things,collaborating new ideas or just wanna talk to some cool cats then join us. My goal is to grow it as much as possible so anyone can find the help they need on their next/current idea. If interested drop your email and ill send you an invite to our slack. I don't care what your skill set is. You might learn something new. You might not . if anything youll make new friends:)9
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Fuck you Spring and your stupid cryptic, useless, no relevant information error messages.
"Oh I am crashing violently because some of my internal component cannot automagically talk to another my internal component" says spring.
Well shit, why do I let you manage your own dependencies if I still need to hunt down what garbage transitive dependency you bring in 5 time.
YOU HAD ONE JOB!!!3 -
At this point I fucking hate my project. After 3 months I literally can not concentrate, I am just staring on a screen, smashing my hands on the keyboard and praying that it will fucking work without bugs. At this point it still works pretty well. I am so sorry for everyone that will have to work on this after I leave. According to the project leader it should not take more than 20 more hours. Hes a really cool guy, but if he's going to talk optimistically about this fucking project once more I am gonna rape his wife and his dog. Last fucking time he said that its just 2 already implemented features that just need to get connected together, I spent 30 hours rewriting half of the codebase because how inconsistent and shitty the code was. I am not fuckin suprised that we are going to rewrite whole shit from a scratch, because the code is already unmaintainable. Wish me luck, because I really need it to survive another week working on this trash.1
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Sometimes, all you just need is to...
Disconnect yourself from everyone and everything for some time, and find a place where you find peace of mind and comfort.
Direct communication with your inner soul which is also known as healthy self-talk gives all the answers and helps you find the way to move ahead.
Self-motivation works wonders, remember that!1 -
Long story short:
My system need to talk with a 3rd party PoS API. The provided doc is pretty useless and with few errors.. nonetheless I came to finish the 99% of the job.
I was stuckd on the 1%, one frickin function.
Everytime I would call the endpoint I would receive...NOTHING. Just a 200.
I've spent like 5 hours trying everything, even sending wrong params...nothing...
Always 200 and nothing else.
Apparently, for an entire nation and the IT Company behind them, is ok to have A PAYMENT API TO RETURN VOID AND A 200 NO MATTER WHAT.
I got the luck/unluck that the main developer of such piece of art came in the office and I've almost throw him out the window (we are at 26th floor).
FUCK OFF DUDE. YOU AND ALL THE OTHERS THAT DO LIKE YOU DO.
P.S. in this days I'll try to write the full story, but it's hard without giving many details...small anticipation: 1.5 months of work and nothing but red bull and coffee...4 -
I'm almost done with my Python course and after I'm gonna study more like the tkinter module, the sql module, the socket module, etc (I'm sorry if they aren't called modules still kinda new to all of this talk) And after I feel I've learned what I need I'll move on to Ruby Programming!4
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What do you guys do to pull yourself out of a rut when you hit a wall in a project?
I'm developing a large scale enterprise level application in flutter/dart by myself and reached a really weird point where there are so many things to be done I can't pick which one. I've spent the last few days on authentication and logic so I think I need to tackle something else for a bit... any insight would rule, I've never had other developers to talk to about this stuff before!4 -
Got a recruitment message on linkedIn from someone outside of Texas (I'm from Dallas). Started with "Howdy" and in his small talk to make him relatable, asked how o thought the Dallas rodeo was, for his upcoming trip.
I don't think I even know anyone who's been to a rodeo.
These guys make me need a nap. -
I need some help from some experienced people like you..
I'm 23 and since 15 March I've changed job. I moved to an another company (not too far away from the older one) because I needed to move on.
Since I left the older job, my ex-boss told me that he would like to have my help if he needed. I answered him with a: "I need to think about it".
After the last meeting (my last day) my ex-boss asked me some help every week.
I've answered him for some simple request, like: " I need some info on this project e blah blah blah"
Now he asked me to go to my older office to talk about an older project that I made.. I probably know that this time, this request is a big one.
I'd like to stop this circle, because I do not have time and I'd like to stay free of mind.. I know that I shouldn't answer him at the first request but.. This is the situation.
How I can stop him (in a good way) to make me this kind of requests?
These requests are not paid to me, but I don't want to collaborate with him anymore so I don't wanna his (eventually) "extra money".
It's my first experience (I've changed company just once) and this situation is a kind of " break up with my girl".. I do not know how to move.
Can you help me, guys?5 -
How does a person get better at speaking in technical situations? I've been in the tech field for a loooong time now, but I really have trouble articulating my ideas. Someone else on my team can explain why our architecture isn't optimal because of X, and we should try to integrate Y because it buys us Z, and I usually can come up with some variation of "It sucks, because bad."
The things I want to say are generally the same as the person who makes sense, but my brain apparently has a disconnect between understanding it technically and being able to express it. I had kind of figured that by this time in my career I would have been exposed to this stuff so much that being able to talk about it would be easy, but it's not.
I've had Toastmasters suggested to me before, but I don't really need help talking in front of people. As long as I have time to prepare, I can do that kind of speaking with little trouble. I just want to be able to respond in meetings and informal situations and show that I do have a clue what I'm saying.4 -
Does anyone else have problems choosing a rubber duck? Maybe I need a rubber duck to talk this over.2
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Let's talk fans. I've skimmed through beQuiet and noctua, but couldn't find the type I need. Are there quiet laptop fans out there?
Here's my case. I have an LED projector. As projectors are, it's somewhat loud. Not painfully annoying, but still. I wonder how could I make it quieter.
I had it disassembled to see what fan it has. It looks like an oversized laptop fan. Like 12cm or so.. I was thinking I could buy a silent fan, tear it apart, take its axis with blades and pop it in the original projector fan case. Problem is, I can't find any quiet laptop fans, be it normal size or oversized. Aren't there any? If so - why? Are there other means to quiet a fan like this down? I mean apart from cleaning and oiling - that's already done.15 -
why are Linux graphical git clients so crap? (as compared to TortoiseHg)
like GitKraken is the only OK one, but it lacks soo many features its nearly useless (bisect anyone?) + you need a commercial license
GitEye is the second non-shit one, but it regurarly stops working + its non-free
and it seems most git GUI clients force the name of the repo to be their parent dir. my parent dir for all web projects is www, so in both apps I have a long list of projects named www, unless I expand the projects sidebar to cover half of the screen to see the very very end of the path that petrays the actual project name in GitEye. In GitKraken I have to investigate the commit history to figure out if I have the right GitKraken with the right project open... talk about UX :D
so do most "git experts" just use git commit, git push and git pull on the command line and thats their whole world and the reason why they prefer git to mercurial (for all the many features they never use)?10 -
Learning how to break a result into the steps necessary to produce it, along with the broader concept of abstraction in computer science has allowed me to apply this thinking to my personal experience. I've traced personality traits and behaviors to specific events from my childhood, and can finally relax knowing that understanding computers has given me all the linguistic tools I need to talk to myself, which traditionally has been impossible. I no longer feel trapped in a terrifyingly imaginative mind.
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That moment where the client and the project are ticking all the boxes: he's competent and you know working with him will be pleasant enough, the project is interesting and you've already picked node.js, it's well paid and you've already mentally spent the money.
Oh wait no! I wanted to talk about the moment right after, the one where you're told that this dll you NEED to use is in VB6!2 -
We need to talk about Matrix (the protocol thingy)
It's a pretty neat system, to be able to communicate to eachother with whatever you want (through whatever other service you want).
What are your experiences so far with it (+ Clients)? Can you give some tips on what to use and to avoid? I heard that depending on the home server it might behave rather slow10 -
I feel really stressed about everything I want to learn. Everytime I hear someone talk about some new framework or I see people here discuss languages or stuff I don't know anything about, I want to learn it. Right now the list of things I feel I need to learn is so fucking big that I've no idea where to start. Also, I need to focus on my upcoming exams, so I've absolutely no time to learn or do anything. Backend, front-end, iOS, Android, desktop, OS development, everything. So much to learn, so little time.3
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Me : sending screenshots of login screen, API design ,etc. to the client
Client : ohhh that's nice to see..Being a business analyst, I'm just curious on one thing here, does our app work without internet.
Me : Wrong decision on the first place that I chose you to be my client. Fuck you !!! I need to talk to the company that hired you as a business analyst first !!! *Hangs the call* *Facepalm*6 -
I feel the need for a personal AI is real. I mean at this stage of my life I feel replacing humans around/close to me with a strong AI.
The idea is kinda creation of a strong AI but control its learning ability limited to one user.
Pros:
You have someone who understands you completely.
Knows what/how to talk no matter How's your mood.
Could be used to calm down the user even in critical situations.
Besides, if something doesn't workout just fucking tweak the code its yours no matter what the fuck you do with it.
Do I make sense??3 -
It has to be Keybase.
It is exactly what I need - A secure yet practical cloud storage, where only you own the crypto key, with the added bonus of maintaining a blockchain-based identity online, with proof system and all.
Also has a secure PKI-Based E2E chat when I want to talk to someone about something I don't want the general government to necessarily know.
Definitely recommend the service! Even with the odd decision to include an option of a Lumen crypto wallet or whatever, you can just ignore that feature if you're not into it and it doesn't slow you down.2 -
One of my seniors is leaving the team. Honestly, I did not talk about personal stuff with him but during this lockdown, he was the only one whom I talked to this much. My most projects are with him, so in the team I kind of only know him. And now he is leaving, I feel so heavy.
I was anyway feeling no interest in my work, and now this, I really don't want to work at all. I don't want to be in this team, really without his guidance I can't do good. And this reminds me now I don't have anyone in the team to guide me. It's the same feeling as you get old and now no one to support you and you need to support yourself and slowly others. It's frightening.
On a good note, I hope things will turn out to be good for him, he's a nice person after all :) Everyone respected him, and he was trusted so much.2 -
Need suggestion
Qualified for second round of a hackathon. Theyre now calling me to another city for the demo. We created a game and it isnt much to talk about. What should I do?9 -
Fuckin damn it Google! I setup a transparent proxy and for some fucking reason Google home doesn't like that at all. I think I have a fix but it's a real fucking pain in the ass. I call your support people who I specifically tell that I'm running a fucking proxy and they tell me that I need to talk to their Google WiFi team. It has nothing Todo with my fucking wifi bitch. Its your price of shit price of crap hardware that doesn't like fucking proxies.
I'll update everyone what the fix is when I find it.
Btw, this is a HTTPS transparent proxy and HTTP transparent proxy running on my pFSense firewall box.5 -
So fun fact about message-passing plugin APIs, everything becomes a parallel programming problem. My lexer (the part of an interpreter that recognizes fundamental syntax elements) spawns a callback thread with request and reply channels, and then messages a plugin which is able to either talk to the callback thread or message the original thread with a successfully parsed token or an abort.
It has just occurred to me that plugins are under no obligation to sequence their requests to the callback thread, which means that having one channel for requests and one for responses no longer suffices; the requests need to each contain their response channel. -
I have several tasks in my job. Not all of them are straight up dev, some are also student related. Since my coworker left I was rediculously overbudened, simply because the tasks I have to do are sooo far appart from one anothet. After talking to my boss, we get to hire some people to help (big yay!) But now it is upon me to write the recruitment adds so to speak and also talk to the people and interview them. What the heck I have no clue about this whatsoever xD i mean, i kinda feel honoured that my boss trusts me enough to do a pre selection for her. But damn. .-. I'm barely older then the applicants (it's all at uni and I'm a student and so are they)
Anyone got tips for interviews? I dont need them to do dev work. More like working with kids and presentation prep and support. -
When I need to talk to another office in my company about how one of their codebases works the weirdest thing happens. I end up on a call after local business hours with people who don't write code and thus cannot help me.
I show them the error I'm getting trying to run their shit and I get a high level buzzword filled spiel about the project that makes no actual sense. They use these technical words like federated and dynamic but they don't make sense in the contexts they're using them. And they don't answer my goddamn questions.
It turned out their debug config file was gitignored. -
Soo, lets talk about deadlines and how often I come in trouble when there is one near. This week I have (had) three. So I had a lot of problems this week.
But, after all today was a really good day.
I deleted an production database, fucked up my laravel migrations and tomorrow we have to deploy another application. The app is still in development and the site isn´t finished yet.
Friday I need to launch another webapplication. Because I don't want to deploy webapps and apps on friday and I go snowboarding next week, I somehow convinced my client to launch it next week. He agreed with me, so that's a burden off my shoulder. And I'll have an extra day for fixing the last bugs.
Today I worked really hard and almost finished the last application. So I think after all I'll somehow manage it.1 -
I hate relatable/anxiety/cringe posts, but I need to talk about this.
Sometimes when I try to sign and focus on hitting notes and making it sound good, I get a sudden flashback to something weird I did in the past.
It's either something extremely cringey/embarassing or just plain out asshole'y, mostly from when i was a teen.
It's weird how sudden and vivid the memory of these actions get. One second I'm singing, the other I'm clenching my stomach thinking "oh god why did I do that?"
I also make the signing turn into making weird fucking noises and going very off pitch.
Some people find it easy to let go of the past. Not this guy. -
I love doing maths and used to score well in 10th and then my worst decision of taking commerce rather than non-medical.
I scored really bad in 12th, where I met a girl but was too shy to talk. Ah!! Anyway she was the only reason I used to attend classes.
Then I tried for B.Com which I was least interested and maybe because of destiny I did not get admission in any college. :D
So ended up in BCA, whoa life changing moment that was only computers, code, technology and atlast found a girl.
Now building up my code with my future.
"Be on a position when you don't need to introduce yourself" -
Part 1
https://devrant.com/rants/954253/...
Sooo, a follow up...
I talked to HoIT last week and he could see the issues, both on how my boss manages his team, but also a clear lack of resources.
He promised that I would be promoted in a some months.
Today, we had a talk with a broader audience. And everyone agrees that the current situation is unsustainable and we should do something now.
I expected HoIT to present his vision, with me as the lead of a new team. But... Nothing...
I tried to suggest the model, using his own words so he might remember.
Nothing...
Sooo anybody in need of a Team Lead/Architect around Frankfurt, Germany?? -
Follow-up rant to my company. Today's day is fairly good, so let's talk about infra.
We're building upon an existing open-source project which is not intended to be extended (e.g. plugins).
Our backend-team somehow hacked symfony into the app, which made the actual work a little bit less annoying. But on the other side, there is absolutely no automation. Everything is setup by hand and I need to upload my sources to my dev-server and watch what files exactly are overwritten. Because if not, I accidentally overwrite core sources which will break the whole app, no matter what. If I forget what file I wrongly overwrote, I have no choice but to setup the core from scratch and apply our sources on-top, AGAIN.
The first time setup took me almost five days.
Oh yeah and the team shares one dev server, so whenever I feel like fucking with a mate, I can easily fuck up his system, since everyone has root-rights.
We're required to use windows, but our dev is linux and I am the only knowledgable linux guy. They need cheatsheets (to be fair, I need my powershell-cheatsheet).
We market the same app with some additional functionality, but we also have clients which require their own stuff. This case has never been thought-out, since for these specific clients, we also modify some core-parts. Which makes it a real hassle to add a basic new feature to that special customer.
At least our frontend is somewhat decent. Simple and without critical thinking, but it works and is decently understandable. I'll rant about that for another day, it's still tedious.
I know I won't stay there for long since I start my own stuff, but it's sad. Nothing is perfect and they _do_ want to make it better, but it's the usual "there is no time, client first" talk. On the other hand, they tell that we should be more efficient, but there is no way to be without looking back at the fundamental structure and what takes us so long.
I don't think I am able to change anything here and as I heard from co-workers, they already look for something new.
cheers -
Quess who's back again, php oudated piece of shit monolith codebase. So we have a relatively huge client we need to migrate to AWS.
It is written with yii, all object-oriented. The way it's implemented makes me question my love for object oriented as well my sanity for even accepting this project.
I probably could talk about this piece of shit for hours but the fact they save 3 gigabyte of qr code images is the fucking worst. It's literally a few one hundred thousand images who could be generated on the fly.
Please for the love of god, let me finish this migration tomorrow.4 -
Litterally all the people i talk to about my LG phone and why i don't want or need an iphone. i have an iphone 5s that i use for 1 app - acapella (androids can really goof up the audio/video sync)
made me giggle
https://instagram.com/p/... -
How can i know if im ready for a devops engineer position? What is all the bullshit that i need to know to be devops engineer? Lets aim high and talk about senior position14
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For who ever makes 1 hour ticket estimates for complex bugs and features, I got a question…
Who hurt ya bro?
Either that or we need to talk about ur drug addictions that allow you to do such things on a regular basis - because that’s just not living in reality…5 -
I have a good friend who wants to learn the basics of web development so she can leave her job. We used hang out frequently before the pandemic, so this would be a way for us to talk more. Unfortunately, I’m not sure how I can really help, since I don’t think I’m a good teacher.
My current plan is to send her through the free portions of Codecademy, and then find one-hour code challenges where we can code together via video chat, and then I can show her how I’d do certain parts differently when she’s done.
I feel like this is an OK foundation, but it doesn’t get into much of the other things web developers need, like CMS training and other stuff that just pops up as you work. Do you have any suggestions for 1) how to flesh out this training, 2) how to keep this fun, and not shift the dynamic of our friendship, and 3) how to eventually prove to a future employer that this training is actually useful?
Big ask, so big thanks to those with suggestions!5 -
Any advice for a Bachelor's in Computer Science ? I often find myself lost in between all these career options and subjects and degrees.
I just need a little guidance 'cause I got no one to talk to about this...10 -
currently applying for remote jobs, in usa mostly.
anyone up for a talk over discord? need to practice my english8 -
Ive repeatedly posted this over and over and i will continue to because i really want this collaboration network to grow! If you're not interested then share this with anyone who might be:
"Guys help me grow my small collaboration group. If you're interested in learning new things,collaborating new ideas or just wanna talk to some cool cats then join us. My goal is to grow it as much as possible so anyone can find the help they need on their next/current idea. If interested drop your email and ill send you an invite to our slack. I don't care what your skill set is. You might learn something new. You might not. If anything youll make new friends :)"6 -
I need an advice!
I'm a back-end dev with 5yrs of experience.
Our team initially started with 7 back-end engineers, and 1 developer was acting as the "tech lead". I was happy as an individual contributor and I enjoyed it a lot. I learned a lot of things.
After 1 year, our team got downsized. All other BE devs got replaced by 2 new engineers - one with 7 yrs of experience who fckin doesn't even know how to google and drop a constraint in DB, and another with "13 years" of experience who's a credit-grabber and all talk.
Now here's my problem. I feel that I've been "unofficially" given the role of a lead developer - the one who needs to lead code reviews, mentor others, decide on the higher level design, chase people for deployment approvals, managing 3rd-party dependencies, and forced to become the "coordinator".
This stresses me and burns me out. I just want the peace of becoming an individual contributor.
What can I do at this point?3 -
High school Career readiness class assignment
I need to interview someone in my chosen future career (computer programmer or ethical hacker) anyone know any companies in Pittsburgh I should look for people at who may be willing to let me talk to them???
Please help8 -
https://hackmd.io/BWLwsrB5RxeheZZ-B...
Guess the spirit of “need to verify source” in working as a developer has really done something marvel to me. Took me 2 hours just to find and document loopholes the claims a pastor made in first 7 minutes of his talk.2 -
After spending the year after graduation trying to do a business with some school friends, that didn't make a dime for a year, I decided to look for a real paying job.
My first step was to go to a hackathon and hack for the week-end. I got involved in not one, but 2 projects: the second was because someone I met and won with at a previous hackathon asked me to, and I finished the first project early. Let's call her "S"
Then comes the end of the hackathon, and after it concludes I muster the courage to go on stage and say that I'm looking for a job, so feel free to chat me up.
No one really came to me for a job, but S came to talk to me about the startup she wants to launch, and how she is looking for a tech guy. I was close to dismiss it, because I was looking for a job paying $$$, but agreed to met so that she could show me her business plan and try to convince me.
Turns out she did convince me, because the business plan was solid, she was very motivated, and had already started validating the idea: there was a real need.
Now there we are, 5 years later, about 10 employees and paying ourselves real salary. -
Taking a leave for 14 days from work, just to use my vacation days, really messes with my biorhythm :D My day/night cycle shifted about 12 hours.. Programming during the night for a freelance project, sleeping 1-2 hours during the day just to rest my eyes a bit..
I'm from Belgium, but the second developer, on the project, is from San Francisco.. It's quiet nice to have someone to talk to about the development process when every one else I know is asleep.
I'm not made for a dayjob at a desk, I need to be at home, in my bed or at my own desk, choosing my own hours, just.. Working on projects with some music, some snacks,.. Much more productive that way than, instead, being forced to work from 9am to 6pm.. You can't force creativity or inspiration
.
I slept 9 hours this week, spread over 4 days... I'm not the most healthy person, I know :D1 -
Need to hold a 3-day training at a clients. It's my first time I'll be doing such thing because I'm still am pretty new in the company and don't know a lot about the system (product) yet. It's a group of 8 I need to train. Haven't got input for 3 days to talk about. I really have no clue how to fill those days. I'm panicking big time right now. Were you ever in a similar situation? Anything you got to share?15
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This is not a rant. Rather just a question or an ask for advice, as I have seen a lot of people talk about web development around here. I am planning to create a website for my search engine. I created a Rest API for my VPS so I can do http requests and retrieve some links for certain key words. But I need some good ideas to do this from a website. As I am not sure what would be the best way to do http requests. As far as I know it's possible with Js and PHP, but I am not sure what's better, more secure or convenient? So here I am to ask you guys, especially those who have experience with this, what I should consider to do.
Oh and please forgive me my limited knowledge about Js and PHP 😅😊3 -
We are using a camera in a practical course of image processing on the college. That camera has it's own library to communicate with it so i tried to download the library so i can prepare for the course
It took like 10 minutes to find out that the library is only given to buyers.
In the package with the camera is a password which you need to download the library. Even the documentation is behind that stupid "pay"-wall.
Yeah, your library can only talk to your cameras so i need one of the cameras to use it so why is the library and the complete documentation of it not public?!
Eventually i copied all of it from the college computers.
Maybe i'm just too spoiled with the broad availability of OSS ... -
I've got some free time at school today and decided to go to our teacher assistans room after checking his schedule. It was obviously his 'office time' and the only purpose of that time was assisting students that need help with something.
I've been there before and we had a nice conversation about tech stuff other than school things. So I thought I could go there in my free time today.
He said he's kind of busy when I've asked him if he got some time or not. Eventually we had a 5 min talk and I left BUT I've seen something on his monitor at the exact moment I stepped into his room.
Bitch, you were watching John Wick 3 trailer before I came in. So this is how you're busy, huh?
Stop fucking lying please. -
The college's Dean of Projects, when evaluating my first year project, which was using blockchains.
DoP: "So, we have this cool cloud system, incase you need to mine or something, come contact me and I'll give you access."
ME: "Sir, this project is distributed and uses computers in a network to protect data, it is not cryptocurrency."
DoP: "Yes, I understand, but we have this system here that can mine a lot, I overheard one of my staff talk about how we were wasting money by not using the system to do such stuff."
ME: "Sure, I'll have it setup to mine some altcoin then."
DoP: "Yeah, well I don't know anything about this stuff, can you do it all, yourself. I'll give you Admin access"
ME AFTER GETTING ADMIN ACCESS
"HOLLY F#@%*! Now I know where these sites are hosted!"
NOTE: I know that every other college has this problem, but the staff is the least innocent. -
> Colleagues complain all the time about dumb shit which have no relevance whatsoever to the job (see my "cat in voice call" post): I get scolded, I need to change
> I complain for the first time in 2 years about relevant stuff which actually matters to the job (some guy collecting bad decisions one after the other): I get scolded, I shouldn't trash talk colleagues
The key lesson I'm learning here is how everyone is allowed to do everything towards everyone, everytime, but by God don't you dare doing it about what should be relevant about your fucking job. We don't do that here.1 -
Lots of worst meetings where they need someone to "translate the lingo" (ie "dumb down") the techie talk so that they can understand what's it all about. And they end up either having their ego hurt because I dumbed it down too much or they still didn't get it because I dumbed it down too little.
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This should sound like a no-brainer but I need some opinions. Is it worth it to use a pi-top instead of buying a laptop? For programming on the road, i'll just squeeze in a commit while traveling, ill just code instead of talk to my uncle in this reunion, quick commit while le gf is cooking, etc..., purposes? Are the disadvantages worth it enough for the advantages? I was hoping for an overall general programming companion including IoT.4
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Hey guys I need an interview tip here.
I applied to this payment processing company as an android dev. I completed almost all of the stages, they gave very positive feedback and tomorrow is the last stage (30min talk with their CTO from USA, who's been in his company for 18 years).
They told me that he wont ask many questions and he will just try to scan me and figure out the vibe. Mind that the main company is in USA and company where I'm applying is in Europe. So I guess this is a final test to see how good I'm in english in terms of speaking? Jokes on them I worked in 3 startups in Europe and I can speak better than most of my peers who never left my country lol.
What kind of questions should I ask HIM? I am able to leave a good impression, but I would also appreciate any tips on how to deal with this better. Apparently I will need to communicate with this guy from time to time in the future, as he is the head of our project.7 -
I always hear people talk about how they want to get into programming and I used to feel that way too till I realized it's often not a want but rather a need. I got to have a problem that needs solving and that I need to learn programming to solve efficiently. That was quite an aha moment for me.2
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For those who ever tried to find and/or implement a crm: everything seems to be based on that bastardized vtiger core which is based on an old version of sugarcrm I'm so fucking tired of that shit. I gonna make my own. The underlying framework makes me sick to the bone. Everything in there relies heavily on magic. Being arround for years and just recently got a new major release yet unable to transfer offer items to the invoice even though it requires a relation?
This is not blunt talk. My thing is based on Laravel, EAV principle for dynamic fields, module code structure, interface for the list view and many other stuff is already integrated. This is gonna be done and will be done because existing stuff is so fucking ugly and broken I can't fathom myself.
Btw I still need a name
PS: I hate smarty, PearDb and their fucking database layout -
im starting to think this new girl is a gift from God, so i will not damage her as a revenge of the past ex whore.
she even told me while we were sitting on a bench outside,
"you are a lot more normal person irl than online, i cant believe it. some of the messages you wrote me were so toxic but here you're chill and easy to talk to"
i will protect this girl instead and be nice to her, she deserves it at least so far.
but shes young. just turned 19.... but 19 with an already body count of 5 bruh! 5 that she admitted which could be more. smh....
i fear this, cause whores are always fun to hang around. if i hit into another whore imma kms.
but she asked me family questions. shes very pro-family oriented. whores can NOT do that. whores need to jump from dicks to dicks.4 -
Probable microsoft inside talk about github acquisition:
m$ lawyers: We need to pull this github repository to find our patents and claim the suit against this company that is making some android powered hardware, also the other one from company that want to make operating system with double mouse click
m$ management: This patent violation search is taking to much resources so let’s acquire github and order them to develop some automatic shit over their repositories so we don’t have to pull those repos all over again
The rest you can read in news :) -
Long live Laragon. Its been a good tool for the last 3 years but some things are proving a little difficult to do... especially working with Laravel 11.
I've been burnt by Docker before - even after attending £££ docker classes. Containers just randomly dying, containers can't talk to each other, taking 150% of my laptop resource, slow AF... I give up.
Back to XAMPP it is :(
I wish I could just get a mac, but people don't build the desktop powertools I need on macOS.
ARGH!
6 days lost to the infinate loop of debugging docker and slow development. Never again.5 -
People!
I need help!
I'm in my first job out of college. Been here for more than 10 months now and there hasn't been any talk of promotion or bonus etc.
I don't know how to start this conversation with my manager.
I accidentally came across a Slack chat which said that a person is getting a raise and a bonus so I know that it's not like there is nothing like that but I also now understand that all these things happen on the down low and are not communicated openly or whatever.
I'm not sure what to do here.
One thing that came to my mind was getting a higher job offer (which I know I can) from some other company and show that but rather than that, I'd love to just sit and talk about it with my manager because we're on good terms and I haven't heard or been told that I need to improve or anything.
All this is coming up in my mind because some of my friends in their companies got promotions after 6-8 months of working at their companies. So, it is kind of giving me anxiety now because there has not even been a discussion about this.
Also, I am not close enough to anyone on my team that has been here long enough. So, I can't just bounce this off of them.
HOW DO I START THIS CONVERSATION? ARGH?7 -
Building an experimental prototype but not allowed to talk with fellow dev community about it because we need to be stealthy to protect our idea / ip
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So my job have a hood monetary value, it's pre-IPO and I still need to complete a year for 25 percent of RSU offering.
The bad thing is work is vanilla and load is a lot. I have been slacking off and working just enough to let thing go by but now a days that's not even possible. My manager provides me bad feedbacks, alright it's only been 4 months here, I see no one I can take advice from. I just don't want to exist. It's so boring. So much effort for nothing. Seriously nothing. I have tried a lot last month, but that's not even taken as a good thing, as I'm new I'm supposed to be slow but that's being pointed out a lot of times. I haven't gone to office, I don't have coworkers to talk to. It's just not working out for me.5 -
There are some people who do not want to talk about death. Others will simply talk about it out of curiosity. But sometimes, such a tragic subject can also bring out the best in you when it comes to writing. Let us talk about writing a death essay. This subject can be considered a good topic especially if you do not have one yet.
One important thing that you must know before we talk about the topic is the essay structure. By now you should already know the parts of a formal essay and what their functions are. In any case you need to input the introduction, thesis statement, body paragraphs and the conclusion. Now let us take a look at some possible topic scopes for your death essay.2 -
Thinking very VERY seriously about pushing the button on this.
iMac 10-core Xeon W, 64GB DDR4, Radeon Pro Vega 64X, 2TB SSD
$6,727 plus tax $403.62 and then another hundred for shipping before fucking December in 'rona.
Could sign up for Apple Pay and do $600 payments for 12 months 0 APR... shouldn't be too bad of a problem provided the world holds together that long... And if it doesn't, then this is my last computer... and I guess it'd be nice to go into the afterworld with a freshly upgraded rig.
IDK, Please talk some sense into me about how stupid this would be.
Also to factor in... I need to buy a new machine one way or another SOON. Or else I need to wipe my main and be out of commission for at least 3-4 days which could cost me a few grand on its own... and then also still buy a lesser mac for my daughter.
Why an iMac and not a cheese grater similarly priced? If I get the iMac I can give my current iMac to my daughter for school. My old 2015 iMac isn't holding up to my use anymore, but should be fine for a few more years for a high schooler to work on. If I get a cheese grader fine, but factor in at least another $300 for a minimum 27" 2K monitor.
Any reason to even think of a refurb trash can design? Are they too old now?
General thoughts on why this entire rant is retarded? Like. I too dislike Apple, but I need them. It's love/hate. But god if I do this I'm buckling in for the next 5 years... tax write off would be nice I guess.
Can't really back down the specs any because I dual boot windows and do some gaming. Need 2TB so I can give Windows and Mac a TB each (and I still have 8TB external).
Don't really want to go lower than the Vega 64X because even that benchmarks poorly against many cheaper cards... for gaming (but does do better for some other tasks)...
Ugh... talk me into or out of buying another god awful expensive mac.26 -
I am working on an event driven system that uses a message bus and has a few services that talk to each other asynchronously via the bus.
I'm writing in memory integration tests for one of those services, but I just realised the fundamental flaw here with such tests. I only have 1 application running, but I need several. This is quite a serious flaw I should have seen before.
Anyone else tried integration testing event driven distributed services? I imagine all I can do is stub the message broker...8 -
partially tech
Is it just me or every single time* I call to some support after first 30 minutes I really want to ask question "can I talk with someone competent?". And no disrespect to these guys, many people call in with simple stuff, but damn, I try to solve stuff on my own and call in only when I need someone who actually can get somewhat technical and have some knowledge about the product/service/smh. Infuriating.
* one hosting provider proven to be exception. -
Had a talk yesterday about crypto and blockchain... Including NFTs... In that you could use real money like now to buy digital goods except you can transfer them and show them off anywhere online.
And well I'm suddenly wait... NFT + VR = Virtual worlds like Sword Art Online and Accel World....
Now we just need neurolink to work and then we'll have VR pods.... Like in the Matrix....
And then robots and machines will rule the world...
Oh fuck...26 -
Avoid the words blockchain, microsoft, competitive, startup, and equity. This works well for a primary screening. Second at the interview talk to them if they don't know shit either the company is shit or don't give a shit who they hire. Third figure out what you need to make to live without stress, any company that will pay it cares about their employees as long as it's somewhat reasonable
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The holidays are the worst period: since I am the only dev, my boss get into the code, and I receive multiple messages - calls the explain "why this is so bad" and even "when you come back from vacation we need to talk about a lot of problems".
So, everything worked when I was there because of magic, it seems... -
i need someone to talk to. just chill talk nothing too special. discord anyone?
when i say talk i mean voice talk not chat3 -
ChatGPT talks too much. You ask one simple question, it starts to write down textbook for you to read.
Seriously dude I think you just need a yes or no answer better still give me an answer in not more than 20 words.
Another thing, I think the reason why they did not give this ai a voice is because of wokeness.
If it is a male feminist will rise, if it is female most countries would not adapt it and feminist will also talk.
I love this AI. I just accomplished a task for 5 that would have taken me at least 2 days to complete.4 -
Big talk to all bros, in a conflict situation, say for example in relationship, sometimes when arguing with significant other, you need to be a bigger person and calm it down when the conflict turns out counterproductive regardless of how much pain you feel or your emotional demands not being met.
As man you have to, no other choice.
A small conflict however are healthy for both to grow the relationship.11 -
The b*tch strikes again.... "Oh I dunno talk to the new guy I just trained"
Maybe I just hate my term now it need a vacation...1 -
Need to prepare so many stackbliz angular demos just in case some senior review my changes. It's such a fucking pain to talk to this particular individual.
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I like Navicat, but why does it need to be so hard to edit the name of an entity? I'm clicking, double-clicking, triple-clicking. Most of the times nothing happens, but occassianally it suddenly works. I fail to see a pattern for when it works? Anyone have an idea how I'm supposed to talk Navicat into letting me edit entity names?5
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What are some good coding buddies? I'm thinking of toys, not people. Suggestions? I need someone to talk my code through with who won't argue with me even if my code is wrong 🙃1
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Turing Talk 2019 - Engineering a fair future: Why we need to train unbiased AI
https://facebook.com/10006494058014...
video starts at around 32:25