Today we interviewed a _very_ good Angular1 Dev, by chance we showed him the forked ngRouter module we use, after some debate he explained that we were using it incorrectly.. I asked if he'd used it before to which he responded:

"Yeah, I'm the guy who built it"

😅

Had a customer on the phone who couldn't figure something out. Wanted to give him instructions so I asked him whether he used mac or windows (getting used to not including Linux in that question). His reply: uhm this has a weird name... do you know elementary os?

Me: you're a Linux user?!
Him: yes, I'm done with windows and mac.

Then i gave him the instructions. Nice twist of the day!

A client who I freelance for just asked if they could invest in one of my side projects.

This is the best day of my programming career 😊

I asked my friend at work who is the weirdest one?

He said it's me. 😱

Just kidding. 😁
I don't have any friends.
😢😩😥

Was visiting a house for possibly renting a room there.

The guy who showed me around gave me the weirdest look when I asked about the Internet speed cD

Priorities!

So there is this girl who was trying to be cute and wrote a mock C code for me :

She wrote :

If(existence=disapointment)
printf("kill self");
else
printf("what else??");

And without hesitating I told her that her code had a fault in it and it would always print "kill self" no matter what the level of disappointment is. And asked her to fix it.
The way she fixed it was probably best described as the situation when you have no idea what you are doing and you don't try to understand either. (or was simply passive aggressive) :

If(existence=disapointment)
printf("kill self");
else
printf("kill self");

Honestly though I hope she was being passive aggressive because boy do I pity people who confuse between '=' and '=='

A small story on digitalization

I had spent an hour in the bank with my dad, as he had to transfer some money. I couldn't resist myself & asked:

Dad, why don't we activate your internet banking?

''Why would I do that?'' He asked, ''Well, then you wont have to spend an hour here for things like transfer.

You can even do your shopping online. Everything will be so easy!

I was so excited about initiating him into the world of Net banking.

He asked, If I do that, I wont have to step out of the house?

''Yes, yes''! I said. I told him how even grocery can be delivered at door now and how amazon delivers everything!

His answer left me tongue-tied.

He said ''Since I entered this bank today, I have met four of my friends, I have chatted a while with the staff who know me very well by now.

Two years back I got sick, The store owner from whom I buy fruits, came to see me and sat by my bedside and cried.

When u r Mom fell down few days back while on her morning walk. Our local grocer saw her and immediately got his car to rush her home as he knows where I live.

Would I have that 'human' touch if everything became online?

I like to know the person that I'm dealing with and not just the 'seller'. It creates bonds. Relationships.

Does "online" deliver all this as well?

Technology isn't life #BeHuman

For those who are not getting the context, this things happen in India. It is truth not a fact.

my_girlfriend: who do you like more in your life?
me: linux
my_girlfriend: What????
me: you asked who i LIKE not Who i LOVE?
my_girlfriend: ok, who do you LOVE?
me: python

i dont know why she left me, i think she was php fan

TL;DR: Teacher wants to invest in my company 😲

So, just this morning as I headed to class (still in school, 17 years old, from Germany) someone tapped me from behind - a female teacher whom I've only seen a few times (She is a really nice and friendly teacher who teaches economics)
She asked me: Aren't you the young businessman? I've seen your interview, fantastic! (Background info: I recently founded my second firm (Webdevelopment, Design and Marketing) and was quite often in the media (local newspaper, television, radio))
Quite unsure, I responded: "yeah, right".
Promptly she asked: "Is there some way I can invest in your company? Perhaps in stocks?" (Of course we can't offer stocks, we're just a small local company lol)
Me: "There always is a way I guess?" (I was extremely grateful but didn't know how to respond)
Her: "Great! Would you mind sending me an email with your contact info?"

What the fuck just happened. 😂

My last internship. When acquiring a new project and having to give an estimate the boss/sales guy always went to the programming team first to ask them what the estimate was and then communicated that back to the client(s).

Asked him why he does that because many companies don't:

Well, the programmers are going to write the software so why the hell would *I* be the one who gives the fucking estimates?

Yes that was a good boss.

Please stop recommending arch. For real. Stop!

Let's back up. I'm an arch user. Have been for years. I love arch! Like hardcore! But for real, cut it out.

Either they didn't ask and you're being obnoxious or they probably asked "what's a good distro to learn?" Or "Ubuntu holds my hand too much, I want something more consoley" either way, arch is not the answer. Arch is a distro for us stuck up types who like spending all day fixing dependency errors, changing our WM every other week, debating the merits of X vs wayland, and acting better than everyone else.

But here's the thing: I found arch because I wanted something that I could compulsively configure and get really in the weeds. I think most arch users feel that way to some degree. You kinda have to if you want to not be miserable. But many Linux users aren't like that. And that's fine! Let them use mint, or Debian. So they never change their DE. Cinnamon is a great interface! Gnome 2 is totally fine! There's literally nothing wrong with being content with sane defaults and not manually installing every package, and having scheduled releases from a stable source.

Do you tell 7th graders "if you really want to get better at algebra, you should try calculus. You really gain a deep knowledge of math!" No! They will get there when they are good and ready! Or not. It's not a beginner distro. In fact (controversial opinion ahead) it's pretty shitty at being a distro. I have used arch for years! But I don't recommend it to anyone. Because if you want to configure a box for literally 100s of hours (it's never really over is it?), Then you aren't asking anyone about distro recommendations. You've tried them all. You've heard of arch. You been to /r/unixporn.

Stop acting better than everyone else and stop telling people it's better than <other distro here>. It's not. It's different. Very different. And it's not for everyone.

Weirdest technical interview:

I was applying all over during my last semester in college (before graduating). This place was hiring a PHP developer for their “web store”. My interviewer invited me into her office, pulled out a laptop, and asked if I could walk her through some of the existing code. After I successfully did, she responded with “oh wow, we had no idea it was doing all of that!”.

The main room consisted of 6 folding tables lined with people on desk phones (probably support/sales). When I asked her where I would be working (mostly concerned about not being able to focus over the constant phone calls), she said that I would just share her desk in her office.

Then she asked if I could start the next day, without giving my internship any kind of warning that I’d be quitting so abruptly. She also asked me to start missing class, so I could spend more time at work. Saying things like “if you already have the job, why focus on school?”. When I asked who wrote that code, she told me that it was an out of state contractor that they’re trying to get rid of, because his rates were too high.

I told her that I would need a few days to think about it, which gave me time to call the other places that I had interviewed, but were still waiting to hear back. Luckily, when one of the places heard that I had been offered a job, they decided to rush their hiring process and offered me a job over the phone!

It’s been 6 years, and I am so thankful that I didn’t have to take that sketchy job.

My wife asked me to clean, cook and watch the child.
When she returned home she started screaming hysterically and cry.
Who understands women...

Continuation of my post about my classmate who wanted to look "hacker" by dual booting his debian with windows but ended up partitioning his entired hard drive.

He got debian to work, he opened a terminal and asked me what should he type to get all the "Hacker Tools" *cinges into orbit*

Guess what i told him to type in... ;)

This dude is using 4 screens for work. When I asked for another screen at work,
I can't convince my boss for 2, FML

To the dude who got 4 screens, congratulations, and sorry I used your image without permission. BTW
You lucky bastard

A teacher who came to see if I'm programming correctly asked me to start my curly braces on a new line like
F()
{
}

because where the fuck did you learn the other version

F() {

}

" that's just wrong"

Today my roomate told me about his classmate who asked a really nice question " why do we need a MAC address in a WINDOWS machine". They are in a masters course for network security.

Once upon a time there was a dev.
The dev had a resume that said he could dev.
We called the dev, he sounded intelligent.
We hired the dev, who was a bit green, on a three month probationary period.
The dev did very little.
When asked, we said he contributed to discussions, but seemed unclear about what to do, and maybe they could keep him as an intern if they wanted to have him at all.
They hired him. As a full time dev.
6 months later, that dev was shocked to find we could log into the servers with a privileged account.
We (his team mates) were sad.
We asked him to fix a few prod errors.
A little while later he said "Done!"
We then had to walk him through how to actually fix them, not just add a couple pieces of info to the table.
We were sad, again.
We asked him to fix some prod errors again.
We had to walk him through the process again
We expressed concerns to our superiors about his abilities because he was all theory, no hands on ability
They promoted him
We were sad
A few of us said "Fuck you guys, I'm going home"
They said OK
Now that guy is the only one that "knows" that code base
I get calls sometimes asking me questions.
I told them to pay me a consultant fee.
They said no
I said no
They called again
I laughed at them

Listen to the people who know when you ask them questions.
Listen to the people who know when they tell you there is a problem
Don't be like that company

Our teacher asked us to write an essay. Since I'm not a native English speaker, I asked him if I could write it in English (essays are easier in English). He was cinfused at first, but said:
-You can write it in any language!
Guess who has an html/css essay

Me: “Hi, Client. Did you review my proposal?”

Client: “Yes. You asked me to pay you using dollar bills. I found someone else who will do the work for mere pennies. Have a nice life!”

How does anyone make any money in web design and development anymore?

Internship interview...
First question...
Them : Why are you here ?
Me :
My brain :
The girl beside the guy who asked me the question :

So apparently I got added to a Python dev group by a random person.
I thought okay cool I might learn new things and connect with some great people in the industry.
Turned out that it was just a bunch of noobs.

When I gave an honest response to a question asked by the admin (who turned out to be a noob as well), he kicked me out.
I honestly don't know if there's any official certification for Python other that the one I said.

People who say something isn't working and ask us to investigate.

Alright, it's not on our side, go ask support at {differentcompany}.

*presents actual proof*

Client replies: oh but I asked the other side and they send over this proof *shows proof saying that its not on our side but very technical so the client doesn't understand* so it's definitely on your side!!!!!!

This annoys the living fucking hell out of me, FUCKING FUCK.

😡

After ten months of unemployment, got a call from someone who had taken a class I had taught, and he asked if I was available for a position. I said yes, and got the job without an interview on a one year contract. Three months in, I got an offer to convert to permanent. I've been there 14 years now.

Anyone else notice this trend:

1. Don't go to uni / drop out (who needs education).
2. Get a job in IT, it pays well (who cares you don't have a structured logic).
3. Learn need-to-know stuff only (I only need to know my code).
4. Tell others they should get into programming, it's not that hard.
5. Get asked about the workings of a computer, but that's not in your domain of work. "I only code".

Millennial much ?

One of my friend at college asked me why her computer is running slow even when she is running only chrome.

Me: how much memory does it have?
Her: 1TB.
Me (somewhat confused): no no I meant RAM.
Her: yeah yeah it's one TB. I read the specifications of the laptop.
Me: *in my mind, fucking read it again* please read it again. You must have misread it.
Her( grinning face ): alright.

Guess who didn't talk to me for a week. 😂

I thank whoever made the jsRant, a client for devrant to view in js looking style in browser. Teacher walked passed by and asked what i was doing. I said i was exploring the source of the newest javascript framework. He said what is the name. I said semicolonJS. He asked who made it. I said some person who has fox in his name did it.
Thanks everyone! I had some laughs after he walked passed by without noticing anything.

Jus the other day I was sitting next to my classmate while he was coding. Let's call him 'curls'. Another classmate proceeded to talk to us about the laptop of my classmate who was coding. Let's call him 'shorts'.

We eventually talked about warranties and all that stuff until I saw a few ants on his laptop. I informed shorts about the situation and he told us it was normal....... We then asked what he meant by that.

Turns out ants started living in his laptop since who knows when and when shorts brought up his cellphone's flashlight to curls's exhaust fan we were horrified to see tons of ants and white stuff!

Curls laughed it off and said when he puts food beside the laptop while working the ants come out to get the food.... i dunno what to say anymore

Intelligence and ability cannot be measured by education.

I have a client who asked a Master in Computer Science to develop a small system, for querying product title and their code. The guy used python, vanilla js, and... Txt file for the "database". Then my client asked me to integrated this in... WordPress.

This was in 2016. And idiot as I'm, I agreed and adapted his code to use php and a database.

April this year, my client said they are still using the python system to add new products all this time, in parallel. And wanted to update the WordPress with the data.

- No problem! - I said. Just send me the SQL file.

So the Master in CS sent me a SQL coded in ANSI. I asked for the SQL again, but with a more appropriate encoding. He took 1 month to reply back, and said it would be better if I get rid of the database and just use the txt file for querying.

This is outrageous.

I really hate people who are educated but completely useless.

Someone asked for internship at DevRant and got this answer, since the devs haven't made a big thing out if it I thought I'd just leave this printscreen right here..

You know what point I'm trying to make :)

Edit: I just renewed, dunno who my ++ isn't showing..

Arglebargle.

I went to buy flowers for [redacted event] and gave the florist my CC info, number, and email for a receipt. He was a nice old man who loves what he does, and makes beautiful arrangements. But. He just emailed me all of my CC info, and asked what part of it was wrong. Twice. Emailed. Plain text. SMTP.

Guess who's requesting a replacement card?

😞

Being a college student and knowing that when someone ask for "help" they actually mean "Give me your code"
The other day someone asked me for a way to solve a homework and I instead gave them the links from MSDN of the libraries and method he needed and he was like "Okay but how do I use this, how did you do it?" I facepalmed and decided to delete them from facebook, I hate leeches who wants me to do their jobs.

we are working for a client who wants an app compatible for both iOS and android. He asked us to send both the "apk" and "ipk" files together😂

So uh... I got fired today. I asked them what could be the reasons. They told me that I am "capable" and a bunch of positive things. I asked them can't the reason they fire me is due to all the positive things. Is there a particular reason?

I asked them the reasons again and again. They say was all fine.

Then the email stated I am fired due to "Not working, not contributing and underperforming". Which I asked them to clarify.

They say they prefer someone who has a corporate mentality and is obedient. As more ideas will cause "unrest" for the company.

I am genuinely confused.

Anyway, I am back to freelancing.

I asked for a raspberry PI not raspberry PIE! I don't even like raspberries! And it's not even Christmas yet and its gonna go bad! Who the hell gets a pie for Christmas?!

I'm not sure if this entirely qualifies and I might have ranted about it a few years ago but fuck it.

My last internship. Company was awesome and my mentor/technical manager got along very well with me to the point that he often asked me to help out with Linux based stuff (he preferred Linux but was a C# guy and wasn't as familiar with it as me (Linux)).

We had to build an internal site thingy (don't remember what it was) and we delivered (me and some interns) and then the publishing moment came so I went to out project manager (a not-as-technical one) and asked if he could install a LetsEncrypt certificate on the site (he knew how and was one of the only ones who had direct access to the server).

He just stared at us and asked why the fuck we needed that since it was an internal thing anyways.
I kindly told that since it's free and can secure the connection, I preferred that and since its more secure, why the fuck not?
He wasn't convinced so it was off.

Next day I came in early and asked my mentor if he could do the SSL since he usually had access to that stuff. He stared at me with "what?" eyes and I explained what the PM said.

Then he immediately ssh'd in and got the damn cert with "we're going to go secure by default, of course!"

A minute later it was all set.

So my friend who was a working as Tech/System Intern and soon to be junior sysadmin asked me "How was pinging 127.0.0.1 successfull? I am not even connected to the internet?"

I met some guys who were Computer Engineering students who were studying web platform as a hobby aside from IoT lessons at school, they met me at my school's library coding stuff and I noticed one of them messing around with yum

"Is that Fedora?" I said, because I wasn't familiar what are the package managers of every distro.

"No, it's CentOS" the guy replied, he also noticed I was coding in a cloud IDE, so he was amazed. He asked if he can use C# there, can he share his workspace, etc.He also asked what's my course. I replied " i'm jsut a senior high student". And they were out of words.

after that, I always think that my skills are way ahead of my age. I don't know my brain anymore, but I felt badass

Don't y'all (I'm from the south DEAL WITH IT) just hate it when you find an answer form to your problem on Google and all the replies are:

"I have that issue too"
"Sorry no idea"
"I had that problem last week"

Then the guy who asked the question says:

"I fixed it thanks"

CARE TO SHARE WHAT YOU DID SMARTASS?!?

Shoutout to the guy who stored his entire website in a JSON file and then asked me why his app wasnt working

Fuck you StackOverflow! Why do you ban people who have a positive score? Shit, I'm raging right now. I have a positive fucking score! It is not because I asked a few questions that were not well received by your fucking elitist overrated frustrated community that I should be banned!
And fuck off I'm not a native english speaker, it is OBVIOUS that I won't be able to make perfect sentence in all contexts.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

One of the dev in my team literally asked us (other student devs, professor, and a guy from the company we were working with) this question during a weekly scrum meeting:

"Who is this Jason you guys keep talking about? He never showed up to any of our meetings!".

A bit of context: we were 6 weeks (halfway) into our FINAL YEAR PROJECT for a bachelor in software engineering...

I thought at first he was joking...

A friend just asked if I could get him an internship at the place I work. He has no computer/programming background at all but how hard could developing be.
So I informed him my CS degree required at least 7 math courses lowest being calculus.
You need to know math!?!?
Yeah we're the one who writes the programs that actually does the math for everyone else

I'm one of those people who have literally no value of education and skills between family members, yes as soon they hear I'm doing bachelors in computers they all come too me with *Can you please fix my phone*

But today a letter came it was from devRant and it had stickers for me, my uncle received the letter and you can't imagine how surprised he was and asked me who sent me letter from NY, I explained him that we are an awesome community and this letter is just a way to motivate us. It's the first time something come for me and even tho it's just some stickers but meant alot to me.

Thankyou devRant and the community for making me feel this awesome 😊

I had a mate in college in my programming class who always worked in Microsoft Excel. Even when we're writing code in class, dude will be in Excel. Everyone who partnered with him including me in programming projects complained that he's always in Excel instead of coding. But somehow, dude always had the work done whenever the Prof asked to submit them.

There is a god forsaken Project Manager in my company that I got to work with since I started there. She has been there way longer than I am and she asks the most ridiculous questions. A couple days ago she wanted to know when a specific scenario occurred in an app (it was a feature she asked for, mind you). I told her "When the status is ACTIVE and the distributor is {{random distributor}}"

She stopped for a few seconds. Nodded and asked "And when does the scenario NOT occur?"

I couldn't hold it it and I barked an "are you serious right now?"

It may have come across as a bit rude and she called her superior who was passing by. Ranted a bit about my reaction and when he tried to understand the question he said to her "Isn't it obvious?"

I do believe I glowed in bright tones of green and purple for a minute or two

I was developing a project that also featured automatic payment to specific sites. I asked for a dummy credit card and he insisted I use the company's credit card. Who would ever want to give a developer actual credit card credentials for development!? I was a junior dev back then. Of course, I failed once. I got told off because I wasted money. My team leader defended me and said this is the risk of having projects with payments. I got proof I asked for a possible sandbox for payment or whatever that will work for development. Almost got fired. Because of that incident, I'm not comfortable working with projects dealing with payment that doesn't have sandboxes.

An architect, a hooker and a programmer were talking one evening, and somehow, the discussion turned to which profession was the oldest."Come on, you guys! Everyone knows mine is the oldest profession," said the hooker."Ah," said the architect, "but before your profession existed, there had to be people, and who was there before people?" "What are you getting at, God?" The hooker asked. 

"And was He not the divine architect of the universe?" The architect asked, looking smug. 

The programmer had been silent, but now he spoke up. "And before God took on himself the role of an architect, what was there?" 

"Darkness and chaos," the hooker said. 

"And who do you think created chaos?" the programmer said.

Today the CEO asked us to create KPIs to follow a junior tasks, daily.
The problem it's he wants KPIs to foretell problems or delays in his tasks.

The junior is analyzing 14 years old C++ code, made by an electrical engineer who had all worsts practices possible when coding.

We explained that we couldn't make real, true KPI that would foretell the advancement due to complexity of the legacy and the fact that the junior had NEVER USED C++.

SO.... He asked to know how many code lines he made daily and an estimate of how many lines he'll have to do to complete the task.... So he could foretell advancement.

....
....

It was the 5th time in less than 60 days, that the CEO bypass totally the CTO to ask some stupid useless shit. So now all developpers have resign, complaining about the CEO actions/stupidity.

Fun fact you dumbass: YOU 👏🏻 DON'T👏🏻HAVE👏🏻TO👏🏻 REVIEW👏🏻THE 👏🏻PLACE

I get asked to review places I've never been all the fucking time. But like an adult with a BRAIN I swipe away.

"Life is hard. It’s harder when you’re stupid" ~ someone who has a mf point

Is it normal for a dad to jump into his son's decisions?
Recently he accepted a job offer that was directed to me. I got mad and asked why on earth he would do that.
He provocatively answered "Who are you to make this decision? I'm allowed to decide over you! Don't be so disrespectful towards your dad!".
If he was not my dad, I would have beaten the shit out of him.
PS: I'm still in college that's why I can't leave atm.

A few days ago a friend of mine asked me to teach him to code. When I wanted to know which language he'd like to learn, he hesitantly replied "https".
Then I explained, this was a data transfer protocol. His next idea was "http". 🙄

Guess who will learn Python

I worked as a sysadmin. I was taking over a position from another, who’d stop 2 weeks after I started, so he introduced me to everything in those days.

In the company we were 2 people (3 the first 2 weeks) managing servers. When rebooting windows servers and windows asked for a reason for rebooting, he told me that he always wrote -.- while the other guy wrote .-. so they could recognize who rebooted the server

Teacher who has no clue how to even turn on a computer asked me to connect a JBL Go Bluetooth speaker to a notebook. 1st attempt: Driver error; 2nd attenpt: BSOD 😶 Lenovo notebook with Win 8.1 + bluetooth speaker = BSOD... Ok...

Was talking to a woman who recently found her lost phone.
After talking about apps which track your phone I asked her if she had an iPhone or an Android.
Her response: "I've just got a Samsung eh"

Whenever you feel stupid, realize that there is a guy who asked this.

Back in College, I knew guys who when asked for Github profiles for an interview, signed up for Github and submitted their profile links.
Genius!
#BackInCollegeSeries

My girlfriend asked me for help picking out a new laptop for school... being the helpful person I am, I picked out this but with Arch Linux because who needs 2 Nvidia cards anyways

I asked our customer at least 10 times if they really REALLY want the feature this particular way, because it absolutely made no sense..

Guess who got a bug (!!) assigned today in which the feature should be changed like I told them..........

Needed some cash, someone asked if I knew anyone who made websites. Took the job and I haven't looked back since.

Today I was talking about merge conflicts with a group of devs. One of them asked if any of us had ever rushed to merge a PR before another dev could merge their PR, knowing there were going to be conflicts. Some were more ashamed to admit it than others, but in the end everyone was guilty of doing it at least once :)

Anyone ever do that to avoid being the one who has to resolve a conflict?

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said: "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Freelance client fired me on Friday, with literally a couple of minor issues to take care of left before launch. When I inquired, he said they're going in a different direction. I immediately smelled bullshit. When I asked who to turn over the files and DB to, it was their idea to allow me to broker the deal to switch things over and hand the keys over. I asked the new dev what framework or installed CMS and he thought I was crazy for asking. He told me they're taking by build of the site and finishing it. That's fucking low.

Ever met someone who asked you to hack someone's Facebook account?

Got asked into a meeting to give my opinions on the security about software that might be used to implement a web app.

After 20 minutes of listening to bullshit that wasn't even my concern they got into databases and I was constantly talked down, by people who know shit about tech, about the professional use of PostgreSQL and they only did shut the fuck up when I compared their "important business" to Facebook using MySQL.

Come on... Stop talking down about shit you know nothing about.

An intern who tries not to show that he doesn't know shit has been asked for fun:

"What's the difference between a pointer and a thread?"

He answered: "I don't know, I am not experienced enough in oriented object programming".

Seriously. Bullshiting has gone too far.

The other day a non-programmer colleague asked me:
"How do you know what to type in, like, did you write all of that?"
As I responded, he asked me another question; "but how do you know wuat to type".

I use to have those same thoughts years ago.

It occurred to me that through constant bugs, errors, bad (team) projects and failures that its become second nature, like breathing.

So, as an experienced developer to people just learning the craft and juniors. Don't give up on your collabs, don't be disheartened by group projects, don't be discouraged by your peers who seemingly try to make your life harder.

Take it as an experience to better yourself and teach them something.

These are the experiences that will make you a better developer.

I worked for a company who supplied CERN with some ultra high end equipment.

At one point the guys at CERN email me "Problem, check this out."

The picture was of some burnt out ultra expensive cards that fit into a larger chassis... the cards looked like they had been exposed to a fire that was located exactly between the cards, but none of the cards themselves looked like they had been on fire. The chips and such looked burnt, but more so exposed to a very hot fire, not like they were on fire themselves.

It was weird. I sent them some crates to securely ship them to our QA folks, and ordered them up about $500k in replacement equipment.

QA later said they never got the equipment, someone "from another department" picked them up from the dock. And CERN never asked about what QA found, that was weird because they always asked.

So apparently there was a prod issue all day today because some server app couldn't start up.

The error was caused by missing Params...

And seems everyone that got asked to look at it are pretty clueless.

I looked at the text msgs now cuz my phone wouldn't stop vibrating from notifs (yes it got that bad) and I'm thinking, of all the ppl you guys could've asked, no one reached out to me... Who well knows exactly it works, and how to fix it.

But the issue with the team is everyone works on everything but most people have no idea how the apps actually work...

Jack of all trades, master of none...

Anyways, sitting on the sidelines watching the chaos ain't too bad either....

First rant goes here...
Had an interview for post of android dev at a start-up(please note: they specified they need a full-time android dev for their team, junior role, even freshers would do). Not a single question asked from android- architecture, apps, libraries, not even anything from my resume. They thought that any person who can 'reverse a linked list on paper' can work with them, but not a dev who has a year's experience in android development.
At the end, after asking me about a dozen (quite simple) DS questions, they said they can't provide the opportunity to a fresher, and I can join as an intern for 3-6 months and 'work my way up'.
WHY THE FUCK YOU SAID YOU NEED A FULL-TIME ANDROID DEV WITHOUT MUCH EXPERIENCE? AND WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK ME RELEVANT QUESTIONS?

Recruiter story.. hilarious stuff..

I have an interview in next fifteen minutes and was setting up for it.

Recruiter calls me to remind me of the same.

I ask her to tell me who the interviewer would be, because she did not mention in the invite and also did not respond when I asked her over the email.

Her response: sure, wait a minute... Actually we are not allowed to disclose interviewer.

LMAO WTF!!

Google: the newest android pie is based on user feedback.
The system clock: *is now on the left*
Me: WHO THE FUCK ASKED FOR THIS SHIT? WHY CAN'T I MOVE IT BACK TO THE RIGHT SIDE?

I have this interesting client who likes to end the weekly call with a prayer. Once he asked if I wanted to lead the prayer. I said, “No I’m good thanks. You should do it.”

So you know how a polite request may be phrased as a question, eg. "May I have seconds?". And how an appropriate answer for such a question may be a simple request, indicating the answerer's desire for the inquirer to be at ease, eg. "please do."?

So today my non-native ass had the following exchange:
her: "I'd love to keep you company but I have to call a friend who asked me dearly to call him back when I get home."
me: "please leave"

That's probably asked countless times already, but who else loves the series Silicon Valley from HBO? I wish there were more series like that...

I'm starting to think about not working for this potential client I met today.

He said he wants me to modify an open source software, I asked him what language it's written with, he replied "Open Source". He thinks Open source was a language.

He hasn't even given me the link of the repo, he was already telling me not to put bug in the project in a bid to always make him contact me for updates.

I asked him sarcastically, "Who does that? ".

He was also talking about me doing minor tweaks here and there if need be after I deliver.

Too many red flags for me. No contract and I'm not interested. I foresee it's going to go sour.

What do you guys feel?

I had to think as I've been asked quite a few dumb questions but my favorite was a friend who asked about cloud storage and how they got it up there as he is pointing to the sky. It made me think of this commercial.

Hahahahaha... my father threatened twice to beat me to death on Monday, then wondered today why his daughter (who thankfully lives with my mom) won't come to see him anymore after watching him break shit because I asked a simple fucking question.

As long as there is breath in my body I will hate and resent this man, and I hope that for all of humanity's sake neither I or my sister have kids. My family name breeds such shitty people.

!dev sucks++
Soo, my GF who I moved to Germany for wrote that we needed to talk on Friday (today is Monday).
I was away for the weekend, and yester I asked what I could expect when I got home.
She wrote that we could hug, but not kiss...
One short phonecall later, she had broken up...

So now I will have to figure out what I will do... I don't have a home anymore (moved into her apartment), my job sucks, so nothing left...

Hold me

I noticed my co-worker has been using Atom editor for everything (we do Java/Scala). I asked, "So are you using the new language servers? How are you doing code completion?"

"I don't use code completion. I turn it off."

O_o "Do you not use screwdrivers? Like do you tighten screws in by hand?"

I've know people who code Java/Scala in emacs and vim, but they still had completion, type-lookups, etc. They was a higher learning curve in knowing all the keyboard commands, but all the tools were still there. I don't get people who refuse to use tools. It's reflected in this guys works too when looking at the code reviews.

When all you have is a hammer, everything is going to look like a nail.

Being an apprentice programmer in a Ludum Dare (Create a game in 72h) that knows more than the official programmer, and have an artist in the group who makes THIS PIECES OF ART!

She didn't even had a computer to work with it, neither she asked for one to the event, so eventually she used mine... And I could not do my work.

Did I mentioned that she used PAINT to color the images?

This is a long, looong story, I'll do the complete version soon...

God.

Went to a .NET developer interview a few years ago, the first question that was asked: "Who invented Linux and why?" My reply "Why is this even relevant?"

Yay. I was yet again asked to make a whole module that is meant to compete with stuff companies have made who have funding of millions - without even a designer to help out. I'm the single frontend guy in the team.

"Let's make our website like that super beautiful website we saw that actually paid a designer, UI/UX guy, interaction designer and graphic guy. But let's not hire any of them. Who needs them anyway? Such a waste of money which their high fees"

I guess I'll just take "inspiration" from Pinterest/dribbble/behance

At work we have a lawyer lady who we pay a LOT of money and she suppose to handle our tech related legal stuff. We ask her to look at some stuff we shared with her via shared google docs. After being visibly uncomfortable for a while she called her tech guy at her firm and asked to get Google Docs installed.

A rant about pretentious people:

So last week I walk into college and I find that a new "Machine Learning Crash Course" is being offered by a senior. Now I'm a beginner in this domain, and know the just basic concepts and math behind it. Naturally, I was super curious about this and decided to talk the student who was supposed to teach the course.

I asked him where he learned from, and mentioned that I'm an interested beginner. He just replied, "YouTube".
Okaaaaayyy?
Now I'm suspicious of this guy, so I asked him if he's worked on any related projects I could look into, to which he replies, "Not yet, but I'm working on some".

Now I'm SUPER suspicious. A guy that's got no experience with the subject, yet is teaching others about it?

Get this, at this point he rudely asks me if I have anything else to say. So I asked him a super simple question: "Do you know what gradient descent is?". He replies "Uhh, no, but I've heard about it".
I lost it.

HOW DID THIS GUY MANAGE TO CONVINCE THE HEAD OF THE DEPARTMENT AND SEVERAL OTHER PROFESSORS TO TEACH A MACHINE LEARNING CRASH COURSE?

People like him need to go away.

/rant

A client asked me to do a little makeover to their old website (before I made them a new one) because if they ask to the company who made it, they would pay too much. The WWE problem was that the website was in that company server and had their (really) bad backoffice. I ended up injecting in one field on the contacts (not protected with XSS) a script that change a little the front page layout and some content in another pages.

```There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
```

All I want is a another DVI cable so I can connect my secondary monitor digitally instead of by VGA. From their reaction, you could think I had instead asked for a gold-plated desk. Was it really nescessary to have three guys check (non-technical people, too) if *they* could see a difference between my monitors? My primary one is DVI, and *I* can see that the monitor connected by VGA is blurrier. Who connects a flat panel monitor by VGA anyway? Just the idea of an unnescessary pair of analogue-to-digital/digital-to-analogue conveters in the middle of what should be a straight digital connection should be an affront to any sensible technical person. So of course, no extra DVI cable for me.

Call me stupid, but I think it has probably cost the company more money from lost productivity having three people look at my monitors instead of just buying me another DVI cable like I asked for nicely.

!rant

Cursee Station : The Keyboard

Prologue : I found /r/battlestations first and then the famous devdesk campaign came. I have been surviving with two potatoes laptops for years. One potato is big and one is small. Nevertheless both are 🥔. All in all, I made up my mind to own a proper dev desk. (even if not perfect)

And I'm starting with having a good Keyboard.

Requirements:
- mechanical
- minimal
- space saving
- wired
- backlit
- maintainable
- durable
- less than $90

Chosen One:
Drevo Tyrfing V2 Ten-keyless RGB Mechanical Keyboard

I have asked my gf who is temporarily at Japan to buy it from amazon.co.jp for me.

May I hear reviews and feedbacks from anyone who have used it?

!rant

Is a bachelor's degree worth it?

Context:
Up until yesterday, I was planning on not getting a Bacherlor's degree related to programming. I'm currently an intern and I believe that they'll want to keep me afterwards. Even it they don't, my old boss has a junior developer position opening soon and he asked me if I was interested.

I think I'm a good programmer, but I'm not here to boast, but rather, I want to know your opinion:
Is getting a bachelor's degree in software engineering worth it?

I know this topic is not new and has been asked in many forums, but I noticed a repetitive trend: people who have the degree say it's worth it and people who don't say it's not.

TL;DR:
Is getting a bachelor's degree in software engineering worth it? Why?

Two weeks is just enough time for the person who asked for the thing to forget when they asked for the estimate.

Sometimes I feel people underestimate us.

During all my life, people has asked me if I can fix their *any device* because it goes slowly/something doesn't work.

But, of course, for free. Because they think the only thing we do is pushing 3 buttons and everything is done. They think everything solves itself easily.

Then is the fact that we should be able to fix everything always. Even if the hardware is broken. Even if there isn't any way to solve the problem.

I think we deserve a little bit more from society. I don't expect people to understand what we do but at least something better than the guy who formats your computer when it starts to go slow.

(Maybe I'm the only one who feels that way or it's just where I live, idk)

Oh my God. Did any of you catch Sundar from Google being grilled by Congress yesterday?

It is so embarrassing watching congressman who think they know technology ask questions did somebody who actually is technically proficient. you would think they would have hired somebody at least to educate them first before looking like an ass on TV.

It look like I asked my janitor to interview our next developer.

So funny though over his left shoulder there's a guy that looks like Sir topham hatt from Monopoly. Hahahahahahh not kidding black top hat and big white mustache.

Not quite a interview question, but in a competition (I had build a compiler) the jury (they all told me they had all studied informatics) asked me what a compiler is... Not in a "lets try to catch him off manner" but rather in a "i am too stupid for this world manner" he asked me what a compiler was... And it got even worse: my compiler is based on linuxes utils (nasm+ld) the guy didnt know about linux. Assembler was much too much for him and when my compiler threw an error (I wanted to show them the error system) he told me I shouldnt present unfinished projects... Atleastthe other two were really nice and i still got 2nd place (behind a person who prorammed an Nxt thingy)

Yesterday was the day. I got asked. Asked, if I could hack back someone's "hacked" Instagram account. For the first time.

He's probably one of those dudes who use short and easy passwords, so his password was just guessed.

The stupidest technical question I have ever been asked is actually more of a design question, but I think it'll appeal to DevRant people.

I had thrown together a logo for a new system that my team was making. The logo was basically a flat, solid circle of our corporate shade of blue, with the name of the product overlaid in Helvetica Light. It looked okay. Ish. Good enough, anyway.

Our junior-most senior manager came to have a look. She was the sort of person who always had to give feedback, on EVERYTHING. Everyone had given this little logo the nod, but she had to stare at it for ages, and then eventually asked:

"I like the text, but can you rotate the circle a few degrees?"

.
.
.

After an awkward pause I'm pleased to report that she realised her own mistake and we laughed it off, so I was not forced to stand up, point at her, and yell "DURRRRRRRRRR".

Back in college, one of my professors who was teaching Introduction to UNIX class, said :
"head -n 2 file.txt" displays the first 2 lines of file.txt.

I asked : and to show the last 2 ones ?

"Don't be a fool, +n instead of -n" he answered.

RIP UNIX ...

"How much of a dev are you, if you use other peoples work and just glue it together?" I once asked a friend who really loves npm and everything.

I know about code reuse and maintainability and all that but geez we had a long discussion..😅

Our "intern", who is working here about ONE-POINT-FUCKING-FIVE YEARS with web front- and backend, just asked me how it is best to create a link from one page to another page and sending an additional parameter.
Oh boy...

I tried to contact 3 developers of restify (famous node js package) to tell them about my library anumargak (node js based router). I received the response from one guy finally who talked to other developers when I explained the advantages of switching to this new router.

They all were happy to switch and asked me to do necessary changes and raise a PR. I did it and then they stopped responding.

I freelanced for a company where I had to make an iOS app. The person who I was in contact with was a software engineer of that company. When i was asked to send them the final project code after publishing the app, the person was like email the project even after giving them the option of uploading to a private repo and sending link. It’s seemed like the software engineer didn’t know what GitHub was like how is that possible.

...He hired a shit dev who did the same work in 3 times less than what I asked for.

He's now back crying to fix his Fuck up.

You ask how I know he is shit. He SSH-ed into the server. Worked directly off the production files. Worst of all, he installed phpmyadmin, changed the db structure without even writing a fucking migration !!!

How the hell am I supposed to know what he changed!! It's gonna be a long night 😥

A friend asked me how people who don't speak English learn to code...he said, "Do they have to learn English first?"

😂

I told him, "See, you're halfway to being a programmer!"

Store POJOs as json inside a database column so that we have a dynamic relational database!

For those who don't know what a POJO
*POJO: plain old Java object
Technically I was asked to store all data models as json in a single column 🙄

short one.

So my CS course is full of people who can't write a fucking for loop (I shit you not) after more than half a year.
And then there's those that don't know what a return type is.

So I asked them once, after they stated that the course sucks, why they even chose it in the first place.
Freely translated it would be:

"I dunno, I thought we'd be doing cool hacker stuff in here..."

At that point I just wanted to jump out of the window.

After trying polymer for a week, I can officially say that it is the most confusing framework ever.

They need to learn how to properly document their code.

Stack overflow doesn't help because the dipshit who asked the question ALWAYS "misspelled" a variable.

well a 🖕🏼 to everybody who thinks CSS isn't really "coding". Stop shaming CSS and people who love it because the moment you would be asked a simple alignment problem, you'll shit your pants.

No! not because it's a hard thing to do in CSS(there are tons of ways to do it.) but because you are ignorant and have prejudice.

🖕🏼 you again!

Expectation: Today is the last day before holidays and yesterday I completed a complex task, so today I'll have a very relaxing day involving implementing only some simple changes.

Reality: I've just solved a dependency conflict between the project I modified yesterday and another project depending on it that caused the failure of some tests inside the latter panicking my coworkers who quickly asked me "WTF you merged in the core project!?!?"

Yeah, I really need these holidays.

For those who have seen me ranting about ending up in a bad team.....

Few days back I was emotionally and mentally affected to a level I couldn't handle anymore. I spoke to my manager (our team got a new manager who is sensible and serious) and asked for team change and he said it was possible but he would need some time. 🙂

Around a week ago I asked my mentor(lecturers friendly sidekick buddy 'o pal) if in iOS dev(the very next subject) I could virtualize, rent in cloud or run a hackintosh instead of buying a Mac. My mentor sounded enthusiastic and asked the lecturer of the next subject, who promptly said no, he did not support or recommend students who tried any of these approaches because in the past he had encountered students who have run into performance issues and we're unable to compile some things. Most likely those students were unable to setup GPU passthrough and whatnot.

However this is the exact point of a VM. It's exactly the same as if you had a real Mac. I believe this is just them being lazy. Tbh, this is an IT course they should be writing guides on how to do virtualisation, not preventing it.

Looks like I'm headed to the Apple store :(

Program manager who handles scrum of scrums asked our scrum master to slow down. Our velocity and quality is making other teams look bad...
The problem is, no one from other team wants to learn anything from us on automation/cicd. They are good even though manual.

Not sure what to do. Biz is happy with us...

Who asked for thsi

We did retrieve the whole list 20 lines ago, didn't we?
Well, who cares... Let's retrieve it again IN A LOOP, im EACH ITERATION.
and then for good measure lets make another query for each item, each time we retrieve the list. Why not?

I have to make an effort not to swear right now. I have been asked to optimize a particular oiece of code...

Ffs

What is it with devs (not all, by any means!) who don't understand networks or basic computer operation? I'm not talking about anything complex, but things like the dev who asked if his IP address could be whitelisted so he could remote in from home. We asked what his public IP address is and he said 10.0.0.27.

Or the new dev who started and said her laptop camera didn't work and logged a ticket, only to be asked if she had the camera cover open or closed and said, "oh, that's what that lever is for."

Don't get me wrong - many devs and sysadmins and IT people of all fields are excellent. And there are some who are crap in every field. This is no rant about devs in general, just *these* crap devs that I can only throw my hands in the air and think, well, they scored ok in the SQL test.

4 yrs ago, had a bitch colleague who came to me with a problem she encounter with her code, so I looked at it then asked her "...it worked yesterday-what happened? "
- and she snap at me "...then my fault ?! We figure it out together..."

I went home after that. Reason is :-
1. I didn't touch your code
2. If you wanted me to check my codes and see if it was my fault - then please say so.
3. If you are trying to make your problem my problem, don't snap at me bitch.

Oh so day continued....

My boss just asked me before I left... You know that report we wanted automated, you said you'd get it done by today, is it done yet?

Me: well uh who dragged me into a PROD issue because no one else knows how to investigate... EVEN THOUGH I BUILT AND SHOWED U HOW TO USE THEM... SEVERAL TIMES. (no i didn't say this last but that's what went on in my head).

Oh and I figured out what the issue was...

yo canada WHAT THE FUCK
that kid who asked me for help
the ministry or w/e got back to me
"we cannot help this child as their abusers were deemed untouchable"

FUCK DO YOU MEAN UNTOUCHABLE

I work for a programming / design studio / tech and new solution company. We do all kind of new tech inventions.
Everyone is a tech guru, except my boss who don't know one single programming language, don't know even how to format a pc, never finished his school..

The other day we asked me how to change his phone ringtone..

*sighs heavily, utters a few profanities, starts updating resume*

This one is on me. I thought I had vetted this place well and asked the right probing questions during the interview, the core product is very cool but the company is too functionally immature.

it feels like Im in a relationship with someone who is really nice, very attractive and clearly very book-smart but has absolutely zero emotional intelligence and even less of a clue in general about what they actually want and need from the relationship. And to that I say:

“…yeah nah.”

I was mentoring a group of students and helping them with their graduation project. I taught them NodeJS, MongoDB & few other things.

One time, one of them came to show me her code, and it has the weirdest and most bizarre structure ever!

I asked her, “who told you to structure your code like that? This is wrong! I didn’t teach you this way!”.

She replies: “<<a local shitty tech startup name>>’s CTO”

When I searched about him, he’s a civil engineer who founded a startup and assigned himself as CTO with no technical background or knowledge whatsoever! FFS students believe that he’s a real CTO and started learning from him 😑 His code was so bad in every way that a fresh would write a better code!

My colleague and I have been trying to setup a VPN server for devs who wanted to work from home. We asked our sysadmin (who's in another office in another country) to try connecting to the server. She replied after a while that she was unable to connect. We then asked her what port she tried connecting on and she replied, "No, I didn't use any port. I am connecting directly using the hostname".

When I was studying computer science at university (second year). There was a girl, I'm not sure if she was crying or angry after this, but I didn't expect that.

Just to put some context, this girl was still asking "what's the meaning of i++?" in second year. And during a re-sit exam, the teacher who was asked the previous question, was the one who monitored the students.

And the girl made a mistake (it was something usual though) . She asked the teacher something that she didn't understand. Which means that she wanted the teacher to help her with the exam, but I'm not even sure that she realised that. And the teacher said : "You still can't do that? I gave you this exact problem during lessons and also at the first exam! Well don't worry... I'll give you the same next year :) "

Not really nice for the girl, but hopefully I didn't hear it directly or I would have laugh a little too much x)

Fucking kill me. I've just agreed to make a shitty fucking app that would be better as a Webpage, using shitty fucking technologies I don't understand, to do a thing that would be better handled by a third party.
You know why? The guy who asked me to do it is a good friend, and I'm the "best (only) code monkey" he knows. FUCK MY LIFE.

At least I'm getting payed

I used to have a friend who swore that his dad worked with a gubernamental hacking agency. One day we started talking about my personal programming projects and he asked why I wouldn't say that I was a hacker and not a programmer, he believed that calling yourself a hacker was better. I explained to him that a hacker was not the same as a programmer or as a developer. We got into an argument and then I realized that if his dad truly worked in a hacking agency, he would know the difference *facepalm*

Rant!
Got an email from an extension developer who releases code under GPL. Had a list of all sites using "our copy" of his software and demanding that we pay twice as much now for download access. We've only asked for support on one domain ever so this feels like an underhanded way to treat customers when your software is supposed to be GPL.

Absolutely need his product so we paid it. Feeling very annoyed that GPL software license isn't really being honored. And it's creepy that he's tracking it that way.

You have a meeting with a really really important client who is a typical client from hell who constantly changes his mind about everything and then blames you for “not getting things done” and always says “this is not what I asked for” every god damn time.

Anyway, he now jokingly asks you if you think he has been a troublesome client and before you have time to answer he continues the meeting.

What do you do? Do you suck it up like a weakling and disappear up your own asshole or do you tell him what a monster he is?

my teacher genuinely asked the class, which one is better GUI or CLI? everyone said GUI except me, he asked why? (the reason he was expecting from me was something different) i said, "CLI differentiate us from those who just click and realise that how simple is this to operate and why are we being heavily paid?"

I try to exercise a lot of patience when training other devs. Hell, I have always asked stupid questions and will continue to do so. But yesterday I almost reached my breaking point when the guy I was training (who is not young nor entry level) asked me where the CSS files were for a static HTML page. I had to awkwardly say, "they're located at the path being linked to in the head" 😣

So my co-worker asked me to change something. It was simple, took me about 5min to do it and pushed to production right away!
Two minutes after, asked me to change two other things. In the span of 1h30, she came to my desk 3 times and asked for 3 different things!

The thing is: before I push anything to production, I have to ask my other co-worker who is currently on vacation.
Already sent him one email for the first thing, and now I feel bad because I have to send him another one...

In case she comes up with any more changes, I'm just going to wait for the end of the day and send one more email with every change I made. This is great. FML

We often rant about people who think that because we can program we can do everything with computers.

But I have to admit that when I get asked what I do I often only say that I program or do something with computers. I usually don't get more specific because it's so hard to explain to someone who doesn't know anything about the subject that I would have to explain the basics each time. And I'm just to lazy for that.
It's nice when people ask me how it is going at work but I probably won't say anything more than ok or fine because my day was fucked up by a memory alignment bug in the chainloader and I now don't have the patience to explain what these both things are and why they fuck up my day.

Hello devRant fellows, I have a question for those who avoid Google products...

What are your main motivation behind the decision of not using any (or almost any) Google product?

Respectful-for-everyone analogy:
Google is meat, you are a vegan and your non-vegan friend asked you why to start being vegan?

I'm going to highlight the word -friend- because I'm looking for constructive, argumentative, educational and respectful answers.

I just got a message from my company's front desk lady that someone called and asked for me and left a number for me to return the call. I've had a feeling about it and as it turns out, yes, it really was a recruiter who had the confidence* to call my company to sell me another job.

I'm so done with all the covid talk.
Its all that's ever talked about and you don't get a break.

As if it wasn't bad enough to have that one friend who constantly has to remind everyone how politically educated he is, and how much he hates the neo[whatever the fuck], now he has to remind everyone about his opinions on the vaccine.

No one fucking asked, shut the fuck up.
Your opinions do not matter.

Times are tough when there is only one question on StackOverflow regarding the problem you're having, and it was you who asked it, six months ago...

Yesterday, I asked for a double raise of my salary from mine p.manager.

I told him that I had an offer from another company with double salary.So we discussed the possibilities to have a good raise without changing company. He told me that can't be sure for my salary plan, but he will try to do the best.

I am still working in same company with same salary.

Who was bluffing better? 😑

The stand-in for the person who normally runs the daily standup meeting (who is currently on leave) asked me today in front of everyone in standup if I've updated my notes. Fuck. Off.

So, I decided to be cheeky and add a comment to the daily standup notes automation task in our project management software that we should just include all of the recipients of the daily status update email in our standup meeting every morning, this way we don't require a OneNote space to update as well as an email.

If they tell me that's not the purpose of standup, then hopefully someone will realise what they've been doing all along.

Let's see how that goes lmao.

OMFG eiwixjjwofiwprjcozkajh.... THE MOTHERFUCKING GDPR IS EVERYWHERE, I WENT TO A GROCERY STORE AND THEY PUT AN ANNOUNCEMENT ON FUCKING REPEAT, BEGGEING THEIR CUSTOMERS WITH THEIR "BONUS CLUB" CARDS TO SIGN A CONSENT AT THE CASH REGISTER!!! ON A FUCKING REPEAT!!! THE ONLY THING THESE MOTHERFUCKING ARSEHOLES ARE ACHIEVING IS ME GETTING SO PISSED OFF THAT I ALMOST SLAPPED THE CASHIER WHO ASKED ME IF I HAVE GOT THEIR "BONUS CLUB" CARD! CUNTS!

The sales person who is sort of my boss walked in today and asked/told me:

Sales: We are using Bluemix, right?
Me: Yes?
Sales: Learn everything about it.
Me: Explain?
Sales: Spend 2 hours a day for the next 2 months studying up. You don't get less other responsibilities. Your commute is 1 hour each way, right? Put on some videos!
Me: ...
Sales: Bye!

Recently at school...
We got new projectors in every classroom. My teacher asked me if you can turn the projector. It's worth mentioning that the projectors are installed under the ceiling (hopefully this sentence is correct). WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? THE ALMIGHTY GOD OF PROJECTORS?
IDK if this is funny but I thought I share it with you.

My business partner and I started working at our new office and this other guy who was our client and provided us Internet connection for very cheap price, asked us if he can come and hangout sometimes
My partner : yeah man, any time !!
That guy : thanks man
Partner : But only when we are not that busy and don't bring any other person unless it's a woman.
Me : what !!
My partner : what ?

I had a coworker who was once working on around 5 files at the same time

To save them he would navigate to each click file and then save (even with a save all button below it)

We spent our time trying to teach him shortcuts and after explaining Ctrl+S we asked him what Ctrl+Shift+S might do with all his open files

He thought that it would unsave all his work fml

Why do big companies hire such loser engineers ??? I mean what the hell man. When you are hiring a fresher to code they should at least know how to apply/write a for loop. I once had a colleague who assigned each array element individually instead of writing a for loop and asked me why I refused to approve his stupid code. What do I reply to this ? It was so dumb, I could not articulate an answer.

Submitted my first proposal for a freelance gig and didn't win the bid but I don't feel bad about it. Asked for feedback and it turns out I lost because the dev who they chose had a recommendation from someone the CTO (decision maker) highly respected. He loved my proposal and appreciated my efforts on it and my bid was marginally lower than the dev they chose.

Overall it was a positive experience and I may have established a good report with the CTO in the process.

A couple of months ago I asked my professor about the upcoming exam, and I referenced the course from the previous semester, where they had a lecturer who actually held the course.

He was only there during that period. So as I referenced the course exam from the previous semester in because I had a question.

His response to my question was "he was a developer, I'm just a teacher. So it can't help you."

Wait, what in the actual fuck??????!!!!!!!?

As you might have figured out my name is Kim. There is a gtld .kim. So my mail address is just subject@lastname.kim, which is nice.
Also always hilarious seeing people's reactions when you tell them where to write an email to

So I had this client who wanted me to develop a brand new website for his company. When I asked him about the money he'd pay me, he said he'll pay me whatever it takes.

So I started coding JavaScript day-in-day-out, trying to show him different designs. He saw them and was pretty impressed by the progress. Then he fucking asked me to code sitting in his office so that it gets finished faster. I even do that!!

After 3 months of grinding, I asked him for my payment. That fucker stopped returning my calls and emails. He didn't even use my website. Then a month later I found that that fucker had called in a cheaper web developer and got his website designed JUST LIKE MINE!!!

I fucking hate freelancing!!

*Gets a call*
*Gets phone out of pocket, phone goes silent*
*Checks who called... PM*
*Calls back PM*
*No answer*

Pm comes in 2 minutes later, I asked her why she called me and said:

"Oh I didn't manage to use my badge to enter the building, I was calling you but suddenly the badge worked"

FG_FGDFDLFMVDLöGPçT"*R"*¨23r*WMLSC;S

I asked my former boss for some clarification via mail. Given a table, I was supposed to edit some user info in the company system. Had some questions on a few entries only my boss could answer.
Boss would organize a meeting, also inviting a more experienced co-worker I worked with. When the meeting starts, I get to know that my boss will join in a few minutes..... few minutes later, boss cancels the meeting. So it's me and the co-worker, who cannot answer my questions.
A simple mail could've solved it...

I wish LinkedIn profiles come under IP protection- I have a friend who copied my linkedin profile word-by-word, except experience and title section. He even updates his profile every time I update mine !!!

He asked me last week whey I haven't endorsed him, despite requesting multiple times. Hmm.

A subservient idiot of my CEO who thinks he is my boss has asked me to document our daily standup meetings.

Today I put together all the reasons this is a waste of time in my head: nobody reads these, if you read them once every 2 weeks what's the point of writing these everyday, you don't understand what we do, this takes time away from us actually accomplishing shit.

He was out for kidney stones today. He is in immense pain, but I cannot lay the logical smackdown I had prepared upon him.

Bittersweet

The person I report to just seems to want a mindless drone who implements whatever he has chalked out.

I plan out a sound solution for a problem that we're working on, and run it by him cause he asked me to show it to him before starting out with the work.
He doesn't even bother to read or understand it, and instantly rejects the whole thing in favour of his new solution.

What a big waste of time and effort. Don't understand what the dude's problem is!

Some prankster on upwork is trying to swindle me out of paying me because they didn't "hire" me through upwork even though he asked me to send an "example" of my rendition of what I would do for their logo. Once they told me they went with someone else even after performing the requested "example," I promptly asked who to invoice. "They're going to go talk to the boss and see what they can work out."

>end of the work
>me tired and want to go home to pet my cat, dog... and fishes or whatevs
>while shutting down monitors I was asked to help fix the bug
>fml
>ok, though I was not working on that part of the project
>fixing it and feeling proud
>today I got angry messages that it wasn't a bug and I shouldn't have touched it
>the person who asked me to 'fix' it did not understand why it worked in the way it worked (and I fixed it in the way he wanted it to work)
>ffs...
>I guess next time when I feel tired I should just be avoiding helping people
>time to think of prepared excuses

So I asked this question yesterday to linuxxx and he had some great tips. But I thought there might be some Linux fanatics here who also have some experience working with vps's that you might have somethings to add something 😁

Recently I got asked if I want to help maintain our webservers (they all run Ubuntu 18.04 with standard webserver stuff, nginx, MySQL, php, ssh)

Does anyone know of some tips or share some helpful knowledge regarding maintaining a VPS? / Keeping it healty?

Today stayed few hours of overtime again in work to make more progress before incoming deadline. As I was just to leave office my coworker who was overstaying too asked for help with one last thing today and then we go. I helped him and in that time some guy hit my car on parking :p

Perfect. Now I'm out of personal time AND car for a week.

Being the only one in my friend group who is a developer, I keep getting asked ridiculous things like "can you install XYZ for me?" "can you get rid of this virus for me?" "Can you fix my microwave?" I wish I was kidding.

My professor asked me today why I wanted to build my project using OOP.

This is a 480 level course and I have 2 1/2 years experience building well over 30 projects with OOP. And yes, we have students here who are nervous about the idea of using OOP. Nevermind that I and others took two classes on the topic.

I have hit my dispair event horizon. It has to get better from here. 🤯😬🤬🤬🤮☠️

A coworker asked me about a specific tool because he "had heard" that I had some experience with it, whether that tool would allow a certain use case, and whether there was some documentation.

Wait, in which project was that? None of mine anyway, hmmm... ah that one, from a few years ago. Who wrote the reports back then? Can you guess?

THAT MODDAFOKKA!

Worst experience with managers.

Joined new company.

My work experience, knowledge and everything else was upto the mark(exceeded at some places) with their requirements. I was handling full technology stack for previous company.

But while negotiating he declined me salary I asked for because previous company was small (startup with no big name, it shut down after few years) also previous company payscale was low so they offered me increment based on that payscale( which was low compared to salary they offer for same experienced person).

He also hired one more guy who was from big company with same experience, but he got more salary than me. Later I came to know that he knows little compared to me and most of the time manager asked him to take help from me for coding.

Now at the time of increment he is offering me increment with which my salary is still less that the other guy.

I think its time to leave.

As someone who didn´t work with dependency injection in almost all projects before:

I legitimately sat here for half an hour and asked myself how to fucking access a new database context...

Me:
You can´t just add that to the constructor.
Dependency Inection:
Yes you can!

About twice a year some of my relatives call me up and say they have a computer virus, but then it turns out they just clicked "yes" when some sketchy website asked to send them notifications and now they're getting hot singles in their area notifications every time they open Chrome to check out their bank account

Who at Google thought this was a good idea???

There was this guy on LinkedIn who has done many projects on Ruby on Rails

I asked him the exact count of projects.

He said it's tough to keep track.

Put everything on paper, especially if money is involved.

Did a few freelance gigs that ended in big disputes. For example, people that think you make a website from scratch in less than 2-3 hours and accuse me of charging too many hours.

Best one was a "friend" who asked me to build a site, after more than 6 months of making "changes" that were actually updates without seeing a dime. I gave him his last chance and terminated the host. Still holding the domain name :)

While doing my undergrad, we had to submit a major project in last sem. We were grouped into teams. Spent whole semester doing nothing and near the deadline, a friend bought a project and i just changed the footer. On submission, we had the discussion with the external lecturer who viewed our project and he asked us to write down the number of tables we used in our project in separate paper each. A friend wrote 5 , I wrote 12, and the friend who has bought the project wrote 17. Turns out there were 11 tables. I said someone must have dropped a table.. And later made up saying i was doing the database and others were doing the rest of the project.
It was one of the lamest excuse we made to escape such uncomfortable situation.

Why the fuck do people at certain universities and colleges think they have to translate programming related expressions? They sound extremely stupid and often misleading for someone who studied CS in English.

I had an interview recently at a company where the interviewer, who most likely studied at one of those unis, asked questions in our native language and I had to ask for clarification multiple times because of this shit. Now they probably think I'm not even familiar with some of the basics. 😤

My dad. he inspires me to explore the computer world because he opened a computer service center when i was a kid. i followed him since then. but the only difference is i know a lot of coding than he does.

i'm very different than my other siblings who pursue career in medical world. that made me asked myself whether or not I'm adopted lol.

Firebird V(arduino based bot) while charging made some sound and one of our teachers who teaches microprocessor came in and switched off the charging and when asked about she said she thought it was some kind of bomb.😑

Not sure if this is progress or what... But the people who asked me to fix their laptops or build their website now want me to help them out in starting their very own crypto currency.

I have a coworker who talks the most during scrum and not saying anything of substance or actionable in that whole time. He answers questions with a sentence paraphrasing the questions putting himself in a third person, waived him of responsibilities, but acknowledging the issue in the asked questions without providing any real solutions, leaving us looking at each other wondering wtf just said. But all knows too well not to ask a follow up questions. Or you gonna be here a while.

Utter waste of my time.

some guy asked me to look at his react project,

I'm yet to find out the problem with his routing but look at this dependency list.

for a simple frontend project, I really dont know how many lazy developers are being introduced into the javascript ecosystem,

might seem normal to others but it feels wrong to me, as a beginner developer who isnt even dealing with a deadline

or......... maybe they are just plain clueless that they dont realize this level of redundancy

In our department, we've to send some reports at different times in the same month, for example, three the first day, one the fifteenth, three the last day...

This was a task assigned to my coworker, but it consumed a lot of time to modify and execute the required querys and write the reports in Excek with the results, so O was assignes to create a program that created the reports automatically.

I asked my coworker for the querys, a lot of times since he "forgot it", and once my program was fully completed him, I asked him to test it and tell me if he saw any errors, if the reports were done correctly, etc... And, twenty days later, when I asked him again, told me that everything was okay, so the whole months of July and August, the reports were done automatically.

Today we've receives a ton of emails about how the reports were not correct, how the information was incomplete and such.

Guess who gave me only half the querys requested. Now I've to do every single of them manually. While my manager rants.

Note to future self: Never trust that guy again, and always re-check everything he checks. This better be a lesson for the future.

I have resigned from my current organisation. The HR guy here is kinda my friend. He asked me about my next organisation and my position there.
After listening to my reply, he asked my personal email id and forwarded his resume there.

The irony doesn't end here. The HR girl who was talking to me on behalf of the next organisation, told me today that tomorrow is her last day and introduced me to her colleague who will be my point of contact.

The HR people are so messed up.

So I am pissed on my company's polices or whatever for finding out things that I should be ethically or culturally prying in.
These people hired two JS developers (Beginner Level in front-end & JavaScript) &
Company asked me to interview them and I did but I was not satisfied with their interview and told HR about it.

But HR still decided to hired them both and asked me to mentor them.

To this extant I was OK. But I found out that both of them are being paid more than me.

How can someone with more experience and skill be treated like this. and also being asked to mentor juniors who don't event know about closure in JavaScript ?

I am going to ask my boss for a raise as per my skill, performance and responsibilities.

There are two kinds op people. People who like to help because they feel sorry for you, and people who want to help to proof themselves.

The second one is annoying as fuck. Even though i asked for help, it doesn’t mean you are better in it then me.

You should listen to what i have to say. Stuck up anti social asshole.

heh, so a java dev asked a php dev, whats your grestest weakness, and the php dev replied: over engineering things, but who am i to say that...

the java dev got a weird expression on .. :D

Never enter an elevator after your PM.
I just did and he asked me to tell a job applicant (i think) who was standing next to him whether it's worth it to work there.
As I am utter shit at small talk, improvising and talking to people in general i looked like an idiot who didn't like the company while trying to get out of that conversation.
This guy just loves putting people in awkward situations.

I never had a good boss, I've got two of the worst stereotypes of boss :
- the exigeant non-tech thinking he knows tech that asked to make an Android app for 1000€ and forgot to say he wanted an iOS app also
- The typical "fonctionnaire" (don't know if there is an equivalent in English, it's a state worker in France) manager, who thought his work was the only important work, who made me do a work I would have done in two weeks in 6 month

I'm debugging an error on the live server of a customer who has a special version of the system. and I don't have the right to login to test on the browser. I feel like I've been asked to kill that lion with a spoon...

We thrive through the sacrifice of others who asked first...

So... I let people around me who see me programing assume what they want to about my abilities, so when they asked if I could hack I decided to play a joke. I said "give me your phone and I'll show you your files and make your phone display a white for a few minutes" (phone was an Android with no lock on it), I do all that as I had an app that closed itself already built for other reasons... They said "cool, now hack that guys Facebook" .... people are gullible...

Any dev who is asked to give “deadlines” then cried about how it’s “waterfall” and you cannot produce business requirement deadlines in agile methodology needs to stop being dependent on terminology and learn that part of programming is proper estimation.

Milestones, business deadlines and agile can go-exist. Anyone who says they don’t, then cries “waterfall” when asked to produce deadlines greater than 4 weeks out, please never work with me

The day has come where I was asked to fix some windows issue of a coworker (not an IT guy) at home. Some data sharing issue in the homenetwork.
Ok, told him I've never set up anything like this but could take a look at it.
Got it fixed after 1-2hours and he was nice enough to pay me for my time.
I'm not even mad, that is nice :)

While I fixed stuff for a friend multiple times who is richer then me who can't take me to the next tram stop by car after a meeting since it's not on her way. Damn.

One of our clients is a club near my town.
My ex loved to go there.
The club finally asked me to manage the access to the club through the CRM we made for them.

So I could literally let her in for free and none would notice. Now I might even make her pay extra, but who cares...