One day when I was about 8 years old my friend and I were in the library. We decided we wanted to try to make a baseball website because we both likes baseball (this was around 1998). We picked up a book on HTML and my dad took it out for us. My dad was also a programmer so he said he would help us learn. We went home that afternoon and made a little website!

I knew right then that I really enjoyed programming and creating things with code, but I realized I wanted to be a programmer in middle school and high school. One of my friends and I started building Flash games. To see if people were playing them, I added in a call to each game that hit a PHP script on our server. I'll never forget the days/weeks that one of our most popular games caused our sever to get hammered and our shared host said they were going to boot us.

It was an awesome feeling knowing people were enjoying these games that we worked really hard on, and that's one of the main reasons I always wanted to be coding/creating things that people enjoy using.

Programmers of today are like the monks of the middle ages. We use a language that people don't understand, we spend all our time sitting in a room reading, and people constantly ask us for advice but never really listens to the answer.

We got a binary clock at our trainstation. I love it, but most of the people think it's wasted money because they can't read it.

Me: "We should remove that popup"

Marketer: "But our A/B testing statistics show a 14% increase in signups to our newsletter, and people who get our newsletter are 4% more likely to buy something"

Me: "0.14x0.04... so slightly more than half a percent improvement. And you also qualitatively measured how many people decide to never visit the page again, just because of that popup? Did you measure the how many internet users with adblockers run into a broken webpage? Did you measure the amount of emails to support from users who can't unsubscribe from the newsletter because there is no unsubscribe link?"

Marketer: "Why would they want to unsubscribe? The newsletter adds value to our users!"

Me: 😩

"Jim, can you tell me why my e-mails aren't getting to clients?"

They're being marked as spam...

"oh damn, how can we fix that?"

You can't. You can change the structure of your e-mails to look less spammy, but it's on their end.

"This is a disaster, we can't have our marketing e-mails marked SPAM!!"

Have you tried not spamming people?

"WE'RE NOT SPAMMING PEOPLE, THEY EXPRESSED A LEGITIMATE BUSINESS INTEREST"

No, you bought a mailing list and put together an e-mail campaign.

"But we aren't spamming people!"

IT VS Marketing 100% of the time

My team: gets fired

8 other colleagues: here’s our notice, we leavin

Love it, they’re left with 4 devs so good luck finding people who know how to work in your 20 year old legacy that every app in ur company is built on lul

"We need you to build a feature on our website to stop people taking screenshots. I can use the print screen key and then easily print out our website design. You need to make the site design harder to copy".

This is an extract from a recent client email I received. To say I'm in shock is an understatement.

I’ve been inspired by programming many times, but a few early moments really stand out for me. Some of those most memorable early moments came when I developed Flash games with my friend in high school.

Growing up, at this point in time, around 2005, Flash games were really hot. All the kids in my school played games on addictinggames.com during any classes that took place in the computer lab, and when my friend and I started making games, it was our dream to get a game featured on addictinggames.com.

When one of our early games ended up getting featured, we were absolutely ecstatic and I’ll never forget the feeling of seeing our own work on this game website that we loved for years prior and that so manly people at our school used. It was the coolest thing and I think went a long way to encouraging me to continue to want to create things, after seeing the impact we were able to make with a simple game (as two high school students).

And I think that shows the beauty of the internet today and the power people with few resources have to get stuff out there. I think it’s maybe gotten harder as of late since there’s probably more competition, but I also think the audience is ever-growing and I hope many more people get to experience that awesome feeling of having something you worked hard on become popular.

Me: I'm building for 32 bit.
Me: But I feel like I should be building for 64 bit.
Me: But not everyone has a 64 bit OS.
Me: But who the fuck doesn't?
Jerry: The people who can't run our game.

Alright people, let's make our own free, decentralized, p2p encrypted Internet.
How does that sound?

The easiest way to get into software development: Learn from someone with more experience.

The easiest way to master software development: teach those with less experience than you.

Knowledge sharing is the basis of our industry. I can't ask people to share enough

Facebook: "Our facial recognition automatically tags people in pictures."

Tesla: "Our deep learning algorithm drives cars by itself."

Andrew Ng: "I predict patients' likelihood of dying with 99% accuracy."

Google: "You know one of our algorithms is going to pass the Turing test very soon."

Wall Street: "We use satellite images to predict stock prices based how filled car parks of specific stores are."

The remaining majority of data sciencists: "We overfit linear models."

Fuck yeah.

Last year our government voted out new mass surveillance law through like it was nothing AND with a huge amount of votes in favor and hardly any against. (remember that the government is *supposed* to represent the people of the country)

A few students made a referendum happen, 48 percent of our people came to vote for this.

The first exit poll results are about 50/50!

I'm happy as fuck, damn!

Sorry for this slightly political posts and if this entirely violates all terms, I'll remove it. I thought this fits, though, because of what this new law.

Finally got my first dose of vaccine today ^_^

And in another news, I am applying for a job at Microsoft.

I feel Bill Gates is our lord and saviour.

I don't understand why you all dumb people hate such a wonderful company so much.

People who say something isn't working and ask us to investigate.

Alright, it's not on our side, go ask support at {differentcompany}.

*presents actual proof*

Client replies: oh but I asked the other side and they send over this proof *shows proof saying that its not on our side but very technical so the client doesn't understand* so it's definitely on your side!!!!!!

This annoys the living fucking hell out of me, FUCKING FUCK.

😡

Since I started reading devRant the productivity of our team dropped a 20%(we are 3 people). Yesterday one of my teammates asked me what was going on and I showed him devRant.

I don’t think we will survive next split.

I'm currently on my way to Japan on vacation.
This is how it went so far:
😁 - Arriving at airport early and excited
🤔 - Find out our flight is delayed. Oh well it might now be by a lot
😥 - Find out that it's 2 hours delayed and we will miss our next flight
😤 - Arrive at Frankfurt airport, and stands in line for 2 hours to the service desk
😡 - Arrive at service desk to get told that we have to go to a special service desk to get rebooked
🤬 - Get a ticket with our number in the queue. 125 people in front of us.
😴 - 4 and a half hour later, get get informed we will need to stay at a hotel for the night, and that we'll be flying at 6 pm the next day
😑 - Get to hotel and crashes (this is by 1 am now)
🤬 - Wakes up 6 hours later because we have a room right next to a construction site

Pro tips for Lufthansa and the imbeciles in their management and staff:
1. Inform people. You fucking knew the flight was this delayed, and you could actually have given people a choice at the beginning of their travel.
Now you had to put 100+ people in a hotel.

2. Bring food to people. Spending so much time in an airport leaves people very hungry. (Pssst, chocolate, candy and French potatoes are NOT food)

All in all, just fuck Lufthansa and their handling of this situation.

Fucking great start to the vacation. I'm already more exhausted than if I just went to work...

Client: We are really happy with your work and enjoy working with you!
Me: Thanks, happy to hear that! I appreciate our collaboration as well.
Client: Great! So... can we get a discount?

Why do people think that being nice also means being cheap!?

People, what a bunch of bastards, especially the non-technical “educated” ones. We call them “mundanes” in our office.

There are two types of dumb people in our office:
1.Those who try to open a .exe file with Word.
2.Those who ask me why the file is not opening.

To the people saying "I need to reduce my keystrokes" when they are asked why they omit semicolon's;

It is a common delusion thinking that we spend most of our time typing, when in reality we spend most of our time gazing into the abyss thinking to ourselves "oh my god what have I done".

Anything that decreases your typing time but increases your time in the abyss is a terrible tradeoff.

- D. Crockford

The people of the 22nd century will be laughing at us, our stupidity, and our technology today.

Shower Thought :
I wonder, in the future, since people is easily offended by everything, variable naming would be such a concern it'll be seriously implemented in the compiler, and be like
"Error at 16:1 NamingConventionError : 'fuckThis' is not linear with our guidelines"

So yesterday a friend of mine closed a ticket which has been open for around two years: "Automatically publish job offers in our internal wiki."

This was the conversation between him and HR.
- Friend: They're all on our website. Why should they be in our wiki too?
- HR: So that our employees can see them and recruit people for us.
- Friend: How about I just put the link in our wiki?
- HR: No, no links. They should all just be in our wiki.
- Friend: *<iframe src="website"></iframe>*

Now HR and everyone else is happy.

You know how some people put those little badges in their readme files in GitHub?

Well, one of my team members didn't know how to make those work correctly, so they just plastered images of them to make our repo look good. In actuality we have no coverage, no testing, no nothing...

!rant

Someone just downvoted four of my answers on Stackoverflow just because I commented on one of his answers that "please include some description, just code won't be helpful"

PEOPLE IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT YOU ARE WRONG THEN GET THE FUCK OUT FROM OUR COMMUNITY AND STOP RUINING IT.

A co-worker at the city-government just chose the wrong mailing list and send an e-mail to EVERY SINGLE emlpoyee (about 20'000 people, including our police-department, hospitals, councils etc.).
Within A MINUTE hundrets of people responded to the mail by using the "reply all" button, pointing out that this mail obviously wasn't meant for them.
After another minute the same douchebags sent another mail (of course using the "reply all" button AGAIN), asking to be removed from the mailing list and stop spamming them.

Even two hours after blocking the mailing list immediately, our mail servers still are processing all those damn mails.

RIP exchange servers
RIP inbox
RIP faith in humanity

Edit: typos

Everyone’s a remote worker at our company by default. Literally no HQ or central physical office to report to. As it should be for most people who are knowledge workers or coders. Why commute and pollute and all that nonsense? It doesn’t make sense anymore for a lot of people like us.

Pranked the people working in my office by including fartscroll.js which (you guessed it) plays fart sounds on our website, internally.
It was amazing hearing random farts in the office when people have their sound maximum and don't know where it is coming from!

The best job denial letter I've ever seen was sent to my husband and said:
- We already have too many people named Eugen in our company.

Our professor in our college deliberately makes a mistake in the program and ask people how it happened.
If someone solves it he complements them and it really makes them feel motivated.
I think he is the best professor 😊😊

Since roughly 981 Malaysians are using my app now for helping the needy. So I decided to send this message to those who use my platform , to remind them to stay strong.

Because I begin to see people are fed and slowly I believe someday we can do a better job than our government.

Note: our PM is new.
PM: can you help me?
Me: sure, what do you need?
PM: where do the folders with all the techie stuff come from?

I had no context and spent the next 20 minutes trying to work out what folders she was on about. Turned out she wanted to know where the client side folders on our development server come from, was going to explain 'Gulp' and 'Branch' to her but I think I'd be there for the rest of the day... Why do 'tech' companies hire non-tech-savie people.

Of all people that apply for a job at our company, 95% can't write a loop that counts from 1 to 10.

And if that's not bad enough: our bosses state "we shouldn't ask such difficult tasks."

The 5 whys

So.. we cant deploy

Why? > We had to take our deployment tool offline
Why? > Because random people from the internet started deployments
Why? > Because we had no authentication and so it was publicly available
Why? > Boss said auth was no priority (we told him every day)
Why? > ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

DFox & T-rogus: Dafuq do you put in your algo? It's frikin insane how many times people notice completely related rants side-by-side or even weird replies to rants below the rant itself in our feed. What is this sorcery?

!rant

Boss: You can't start coding without understanding the phrase P. O. O. P.
Me: P. O. O. P.?
Boss: Is a carefully organized code

People
Order
Our
Programs

Fuck old farts trying to enslave us by censoring internet,
fuck socialism,
fuck globalization,
fuck cloud services,
fuck city surveillance,
fuck internet surveillance,
fuck RFID that enslaved animals,
fuck IoT constantly looking at our life,
fuck artificial intelligence.
It’s becoming fucking nightmare.
Time to make tools to fight against technology and people that intrude our life with this shit.
Where the fuck is John Connor ?

!rant

The last two days we were only young people @ our Office.

Because we are funny as fuck we put the jacket of our smallest college on the sealing xD

Oh gosh I love work sometimes so much :D

Got a message yesterday from a company about some dev job that I applied for a while ago...

Don't remember anything about the requirements, but I know that they were exclusively looking for people highly proficient in spoken and written English.

From our brief chat, I can only hope that the position is for a FUCKING ENGLISH TEACHER!

Best part of being a Dev us that we are basically wizards.

Now stay with me on this. At our command is the ability to think a solution to a problem and only using our minds and some gestures we can create entire worlds (games) .

We can create software and devices that can literally allow people to walk again.

We can connect people who are not even on the same planet as us (Sace Station) and have full conversations with them.

I don't know, there are limits to what we can do but give us some time and we can keep pushing them further and further.

Once a Swidish programmer from our remote offices came to our office for a week (4 people office, we occupied three seats). He used to sigh loudly after every ten lines of code he wrote. One programmer in our office got so pissed at him that she would randomly yell at him without him knowing (using our local language which he didn't know)

"We're going to need to migrate our database and reformat it so it works with the new app."

Translation: we've been using Excel up until this point and need you to convert it to SQL. Oh god, people.

Could all this fucking weak sick people just stay at home instead of coming to our damn open space office and be coughing their guts out ever 20 seconds for all the office to listen! damn, have some respect for the healthy people and go lie in your bed.

Our professor once asked us to 'mess up' the functionality of a PHP script with one shell command for fun. People tried different things like occupying the port, messing with access rights etc.

My friend just wrote a 'sed' command to replace all the underscores with an empty space...😂

It goes without saying that he stole the show.

The names in the story have been changed to protect not the innocent but the very very stupid. So I set up test accounts for each team member in the new test environment for our project building the new web interface for our SaaS product. Each username had an underscore in it like john_smith. I told everyone the news in the morning scrum and got 2 requests for help an hour later from people saying they could not log in with their username johnunderscoresmith.

Me and some of my friends used to crack programming jokes and ranting about jobs/software engineering etc. Other people used to get irritated by that, even s/w enggs. When I found devRant, I felt like those girls from Avicii's song "Wake me up".

I shared devRant with my friends and said "Guys, we found our people. Hurry!!" 😍😍😎😎😂😂

Microsoft is bring Edge browser to Android and iOs.

Wtf?

"one of the most common requests we hear from people who use Microsoft Edge on Windows 10 pcs is we want our browser experience to move to our phones"

I think you'll also find another common request is for you to actually finish the damn thing and make it usable.

The fax machine in our office (yes we still have a fax machine....) Has rung 4 times today! Why are people calling the bloody fax machine?!

So I saw a lot of people showing off their servers. That's the baby we setup for our uni project. :)

Just found out that our no-reply mail is having a conversation with another autoreply! Turns out that it's autoreply that's supposed to tell people to stop writing is autoreplying to a customers autoreply. Haha...

This delete Facebook thing it, we devs have been telling people that Facebook can steal data.
now its our turn to tell I told u so...

Google: "How do we have millions of people identify images for us so we can reinforce our image recognition software?"

Answer: reCAPTCHA

In accordance with the ancient traditions of our people, we must first build an app that does nothing except say "Hello world". - react native docs

We were in a college group. Five people. Making project in PHP. Some forced us to use cakePHP framework than left. One guy decided to not participate and decited to do it next year. One guy didn't know PHP at all. The two of us have to do all the work for five people.

On the presentation day we have ten minutes to do it. Guy without PHP knowledge forget password for our app, make three wrong guesses and locked us out of our app for five minutes.

Our clients don't know anything about development. Our account manager doesn't know anything about development. For people who don't know a lot about development, the word "script" gets thrown around WAY too much. It makes me cringe.

"When people visit our site, can we make it put an icon on their desktop so they can load it up quickly in future?"

Devs: Hey, what should we do?

A:
provide our SDKs for download as easily as possible so that any potential customer can try it out and see how much better we are compared to our competitors?

Or…
B:
Should we lock our SDKs behind a login where the customer needs to create an account and enter the most amount of private information possible, just in case, then also require to create some security access tokens that he needs to configure in his app to have access to our service via the sdk and also hide all of the documentation behind a login which requires some permission based roles to access and also make the sdks closed source so that it’s a pain in the ass to debug and understand?

Marketing people:
B! Definitely B! Make sure to piss off and annoy our customers as much as humanly possible!

I work at a startup and our office is inside a collab-space. Last week they organized a workshop called:
"Using the blockchain to prevent loeliness".

And even worse: people were paying to attend it :(

Some people think that in the software industry there is no communication and everyone is glued to their screens doing their work. It really fucking pisses me off.

- We write documentation around our code more than actual code so that we can communicate with other developers better.

- We use version control and pull requests to make sure our work is at the required level and it is approved.

- We invented UML to communicate our technical understanding to less technical people.

- We sometimes have more client meetings than doctors have patients. In which we have deal with clients worse than patients.

- We conduct keynotes and conferences and hackathons to bring together communities.

These are just a few things from the top of my head so next time you think of saying that the IT or software professionals don't have "much" communication you better fucking educate yourself as to what the profession actually is.

I'm soon graduating from a tech/IT school which recently specialized in cybersecurity.
Today when I changed my password on their website, it displayed the old one in clear text.
God damn it people, THIS is the reason why our school's reputation has been slowly but steadily going down.

Customer: '... But we really like our boxed layout with the yellow background color!'
Me: 'I think we should start seeing other people...'

I looked into the code of the website of our company. One of the first things I found was that the Login was hardcoded with clear passwords. So everytime a new user needs an account the code has to change.

I still can't understand how people can do that.

Our nurse at the hospital, along with the most annoying people I've ever known, says, "knock knock" out loud when she enters the room.

People that post shit like "if you believe/support x, then unfollow me" are some extremely conceited and childish morons.

For starters, surrounding yourself with only people who think just like you will make you extremely close minded, which is ironic as fuck because in my experience these people believe x and bitch at y for being close minded whenever they're just as guilty as y.

Secondly is your head that far up your own ass that you can't accept that people aren't gonna be like a flock of sheep and all believe one thing? That's the great thing about us: we're given the opportunity to have our own opinion but these retards don't like whenever people exercise that right. It's tragic how retarded some people actually are.

Our boss has a camera in the office to "monitor" us, the developers.
He tries to monitor our movements and record the things we say.

I'm curious, do other people do this?
I find it annoying.

Lead-Dev: I got a little job for you; put this list of links in the footer of our website.
Me: But... this list of links is a bunch of websites of another company...
why would that go in OUR footer?
LD: Well, Google gives a higher SEO score when two websites have links to one another.
Me: Oh, okay.
LD: Just make the list as subtle as possible. Visitors aren't really supposed to click on them.
Me under my breath: (How are these people allowed to call themselves professionals?)

"Most unproductive meeting of career?"

2 stories

Story 1:

Company had 5k people working for it. We all had to attend a meeting about holding effective meetings.

Rule 1 was to have an agenda for all meetings and associated information so that people can come prepared.

In my 19 years at that company I and one other guy were the only people who followed that rule. Including the executives (never followed it).

People thanked me for doing it all the time... then they'd hold their own meetings and no agenda.

🤷🏻‍♂️

Story 2:

VP of our department would hold meetings and INSIST people ask questions / get upset if we didn't ask questions.

We were also told what we were NOT allowed to ask about.

At one point there were complaints that support was replacing too much hardware. So after lecturing everyone about replacing too much hardware ... nobody was allowed to even mention that the hardware was actually shit.... but we were supposed to ask questions.

Same VP would come back to us and moan about how he just couldn't get resources for our department... like bro that's your job don't whine at us about it, do the job...

Dude was just a weak man child.

When people don't listen to training and just realize today that they can upload files to our internal system.

Its been this way since 2003 you mother fucking idiots.

My interviewer described the team as very experienced, senior algorithm people, so to make sure we don't waste each other's time, I said I don't feel like a senior. He went silent for a bit. And then he said "It's so refreshing to see some modesty in our field."
😂

"I'm getting an error. It's just not working right."

Stupidest. Bug. Report. Ever.

Please stop wasting our time with tickets like this people, it only requires is to then spend more time just figuring out what the issue is.

🙄🔫

Was in a meeting(been quite a lot actually) with a lot of people that hold "director" in their title. As per our institution's salaries and ranking description, they do not "outrank" me. Our titles are just different, but they are there with me.

It surprises them quite a bit when they try to have some hold in the direction of my department just for me to tell them that they do not really get to tell me what to do or how to do things after I show them said chart. It surprises them a bit more when they find out what I am saying is completely true.

I don't appreciate people trying to manhandle my employees.

The conversations that follow are quite interesting as I am quite vocal in our interactions.

Taking a class on C and machine-level code for school and I have my final tomorrow. After the entire semester, people are still posting questions to piazza asking how strings work and other students are giving wrong answers. Not to mention all of the correct answers are posted in our lecture notes and countless places online. Seriously people, why are you a CompSci major if you can't even figure out how you declare a string after 10 weeks of coding?

Success
There are 21 people in our office.
11 were Apple users. 2 are now android, 3 others are getting it for their next phone.
The other android users would never go back to Apple.

The freaking furniture people didn't complete things on time and our business development department is still not finished. The freaking reception desk is not there yet.

Here I am going to my new office on Saturday morning. Not to code but to monitor those guys to get things done by today.

Is there devRant for google assistant ?
Would you guys like it ?
Disclaimer : I do not intend for people to get into a massacre over "google taking all our data"

So yeah, we released our app for 26k people to use two days ago. Due to circumstances not under our control, that was developed way faster than it should've. Today we're two days in and everything is going horrible. 26 thousand people are having trouble using it (not every problem is our fault, but ofc they don't give a shit) and our support team is not big enough to handle every request. We're not able to find any more people to help us handle it, so some developers are being used for support. But that slows the bugfixes a lot. We're at risk of losing our jobs because we will not be able to make it work in due time.

In Italy, at the beginning of the year a particular type of invoice became necessary and to handle that everyone needs a particular kind of email called "certified", you know, because Italy, and today our certified email server went offline for the whole fucking day because the provider was an overload of feces. We were overwhelmed by the amount of people that needed help.

I don't even know what to say, if we don't fix it we're fucking fucked, like literally.

I really hope everyone is having a nice new year. For us, this is going terrible.

Linux used to be primarily for developers.

But with most software people use becoming browser based (mail, slack, chat, docs, drive etc.) and with Ubuntu UI becoming progressively more user friendly, most lay people can now comfortably switch over to Linux.

Especially for startups for whom Windows licenses feel expensive. Our startup did the same.

What is it with these companies and mandatory updates?

Microsoft with windows 10. Sorry your doing work? Nah, we've decided your going to update now! Sorry, we based our default update time on people not working late at night.

Philips hue. Wanna turn on your lights? Sorry, mandatory firmware update. You'd better install that before being able to see.

YouTube app on ps4. No sorry, can't open this, mandatory 80mb update.

FUCK SAKE PEOPLE.

Hate it seen people say 'hack' as in 'life hack'.

That's our word!

once my professor asked our class, how will we rate ourselves on a scale of 1 to 10 on our knowledge of C language.
When we finally finished giving our answers, he told me that he'll rate himself a miserly 0.0000001, though he had brilliant knowledge of C.
I wanted to know if people here would give themselves similar rating or not?

I just don't have words.....

Yesterday I had message from our CEO, that one of our biggest and most important project's CEO have told her that there is spelling mistake in my email signature and people there will judge because of that.

PS: I had Enginner instead of Engineer in such small font that even no one even noticed in entire year not even me.(I don't even feel ashamed for that it was not intentional and it does not make me bad at what I do at my work)

I just want to ask you guys are people really that bad they judge based on spellings? and not on work and their dedication?
I think there will be thousand of people who can't even speak or write English but are more innovative.

Our marketing just change the blacklist/whitelist terms to blocklist/allowlist to make it more "neutral" following change in github "master branch" to "main branch"

When will this end, people ?
:/

Some non-IT people wrote a crappy software tool. Others have started using it for business critical processes.

Asshats: "People are starting to use our tool and that means it's production ready!"

Me: "If and when this breaks are they going to call you to fix it?"

Asshats: "Well it's really just a proof of concept."

They want the glory but not the work that goes with it. And they dont want anyone else to develop it. They have been a huge pain for me lately.

Interviewer: “I agree, companies should stop calling people devops engineers, devops is a culture”

Me: “I’m glad you see it that way too”

*weeks later*

Interviewer, now new boss: “and this is our DevOps Engineer, Jeff”

Me: 🤨

People now a days dont understand the value of creativity , being a developer means your creativity is also your productivity its your means to keep your job ,pay rent , buy clothes and have something to eat, its just sad to see people demoralize developers for "charging so much" to a project that people think is easy to do. We developers provide outputs and our creativity to the world, i think we deserve more than just a salary, but also a thank you for adding something to the world.

I *hate* when the boss asks me to add people to our mailing list who didn't opt in. I just sent out a campaign and, predictably, a ton of people flagged it as spam or unsubscribed. Only three sales out of over 10,000 sends. But in his mind, that's ok. Ugh.

Our company is changing the default branch on our main repo from master to main.

We're literally on the verge of global genocide and a holocaust, and people are worried about over-sensitive people's feelings. I'm sure a branch change will end racism.

Once upon a time we were normal remote professionals and our sprint meetings were characteristically professional, no more, no less.

Until.

one of our juniors, a Southern sports-bro type, suddenly started saying "SIR" to the scrum master in literally every sentence.

"Good morning sir". "Yes sir." "Thank you sir." "I can do that sir."

SOMEHOW this plague caught on to half of the male members of our team like we're in the military or something. We have ONE veteran and ZERO Indians and I can't think of a logical explanation for why we're suddenly sir-ing each other and people who aren't even high level executives.

Everytime im coding with a friend for our Android game. It's a lot of laughter and fun.
And awesome feeling if the first finished project is successful and people actually like it. :)

"Our company encourages cryptocurrency big data agile machine learning, empowerment diversity, celebrate wellness and synergy, unpack creative cloud real-time front-end bleeding edge cross-platform modular success-driven development of digital signage, powered by an unparalleled REST API backend, driven by a neural network tail recursion AI on our cloud based big data linux servers which output real time data to our Wordpress template interactive dynamic website TypeScript applet, with deep learning tensor flow capabilities.

Don't get what the fuck I just said? Udemy offers countless courses on python based buzzwords. Be the first out of 13 people to sell your soul and private information, and you'll get the first three minutes of the course free!"

Recently purchased a few edge AI devices at work, and management sent some people to box up and get rid of our dedicated GPUs, since we "just got new AI computers." Now futilely trying to explain to management that not all computers are exactly the same...

Our main server that stores everything and that everyone uses has been down for about an hour now. It's okay though I get paid by the hour. Plus, I'm working remotely today.

Probably doesn't help that we let other people other than the IT department mess with what we put on the server.

The concept of manhours in our company.
A project that is estimated to take 400 manhours can not be finished by 50 people on 4 hours.

Me: what we want our users to do is inherently complex. We can't make it "iPhone-intuitive", this thing needs instructions.

my boss: we have put people on the moon

me thinking: how intuitive do you think that rocket was

Found this on Twitter.
how people think AI will destroy the world:
going rogue and killing all humans

how AI will actually destroy the world:
strangling us with convenience, replacing our ability to function without it until our lives are entirely controlled by a wealthy few

Our neighbors need more toilet paper badly. I wonder if they’ll go door to ask asking people to spare a few squares next 🤔

I am loving this week’s topic.

So many people see their alternate profession as simply following passion and becoming an artist.

The art of teaching, or making food, or producing music, or making things, and so on..

We are so different in our artistic capabilities yet so similar in our professions.

Divided by lakhs of factors, united by love for ranting.

Let the passions not die out!

Cheers! 🥂

I wish the clients didnt force us to add their people to the team. I would understand if they wanted them to learn something but most of the time they just mess up our work and refuse to cooperate. Whats the point in that? You want it done right let us do our job.

Our company wants us to fill out monthly surveys to tell managers how happy we our at work and to give them feedback. The survey will not be anonymous as they asked us to self identify.

Also the company is small (just over 100 people) and over 1/3rd of staff have been fired over the past year.

Yeahhhhh, how about no

So we have a portal for all our University courses, where the professors also upload the presentations, etc.
Professor sends Email: Please participate in this questionnaire.
*clicks link*
"Please log in to continue"
*logs in*
Error (while I am already logged in): "Please log in to continue"
????

No wonder some people nick name the thing stupid. <.<

"i was cleaning our society of such people"

he seems like a nice fellow

Question to our Tor people.

I operate a middle relay myself and I noticed that Nyx (tor monitoring tool) displays a very different throughput (mb/GB a day) than tor itself.

How does that work?

JSON: "Ok fine you can use our syntax and everything else but make sure you change the name of the format so people know there is a difference"

MongoDB : "K"

Living in the constant fear of the many threats that only people like us can understand. Even some of our closest friends will poke fun at us for being "paranoid" because they don't know how fucked things really are.

I'm really sick of the "six-figure" advertisement that the industry uses to encourage more people to go into programming. The amount of people who hate coding with a passion but are in it because they want money is staggering. A lot of them end up dropping out. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who dearly loves this field. Truthfully, this approach won't resolve our retention problems.

Heard about the microchipping of people in Sweden. People voluntarily do it. Why the hell people are so dumb that they want to get microchips inside their body. It is so disappointing that our society is becoming dumber.

Team: * hands over release to QA
QA: Release broken. It doesn't load any entries from the test system.
Me: Not possible. It works perfectly fine in our environment and we haven't touched that logic in weeks.

A couple of days later...
QA: It seems that we accidentally deleted all the entries from our environment. We'll apply a backup.

Team, clients, air wasted to keep these people alive:

3 months ago our company moved 10km away from where I live. So instead of 10 minutes to work, I now have 50 minutes. Great!

The moving was so rushed, they forgot to order a fucking internet connection.. So they panicked and bought 4x 4g modems and a 50 Mbit connection. This connection was then shared by the whole office of 50 people. The connection could barely handle our needs, and for 3 months all streaming or unnecessary use of the internet have been prohibited..

But today! It finally happened!
We got our fiber connection!
No more streaming from my phone!

Bye bye productivity!
Spotify and YouTube here I come!

Damn Google.

"hey my company I like diversity, and agree with our goal but think we are punishing people for voicing an opinion that we could accomplish our values of nondiscrimination using better methods"

Googles Response "we encourage diversity including diversity of opinions. All employees should be safe to talk about these things. Oh and FUCK you man you're fired we don't agree with you standing up and voicing a differing opinion"

It's Monday morning. In our company there are 12 employees. Our work starts at 8:00AM and am the only here. This people are lucky, whenever I come in late, there are always trash talk behind my back.

What the fuck is going on in this world.

Just had an email forwarded to me with a nice snarky comment by a sales guy that when he wrote it figured people in the technical side of our company would see it. Sales people piss me off, kind of want to tell him he is an a-hole tomorrow.

Now that most people at our company is working remotely at home, the worst thing is that everyone thinks I can somehow magically fix their home network..

Monday is the deadline for a big project in my master, I worked together with 11 people for one whole year. Our repository is on a server from university and we use the uni cluster to evaluate our results.
And today the uni spontaneous turns of its electricyty for the weekend to test some fallback systems...

One of our customers wants our mobile app to log out the user after 15 minutes of inactivity because of SeCuRiTy…

Why? The phones protect the apps with their hardware encryption from any malicious access.
And we are not dealing with super sensitive data here like some banking app or so.

Why do some people want to have bad UX for no reason?

Let's do a REST API interface for our webapplication that is incomplete at funcional level!!!

Let's assist people and companies that can't understand what arguments must be passed, even if we don't know too!!!

This is AGILE!!!!

This was last year. "Guys, guys, we need to convert everything to ES6." Our mainly users were elderly people with old devices. So we did. Many resigned shortly.

Google, circa 2013: We made smart glasses!
Most people: They're dorky. I won't use them.
Google: We integrated our services! Voice- & gesture-driven!
Most people: Nope. Too dorky.

Apple, circa 2020: We might be working on smart glasses.
Most people, sight unseen: Take my $$$.

Smartphone manufacturers these days, imagine how meetings to come up with ideas for new products go about.

Product manager :ok people,what can we do to make our next smartphone 'different'.

Employee 1: let's add more cameras
Employee 2:Let's kill the notch
Employee 3:Let's include the buzzword AI in all of our marketing
Employee 4:Let's put 8Gb of Ram in our phone
Employee 5:Let's just do all of those things and also give it a screen with a ridiculous aspect ratio and unnecessarily high resolution.

Have you ever been interrupted because a marketing workmate had a friend on the phone who needed advice on a WordPress hosting, and wanted your advice right now?

Because I have.

When we had a massive server failure and our production environment was down.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people nowadays.

Figured I'd post for some advice here and see if anybody has had previous experience or success with a situation like this.

My team is generally comprised of full-stack developers completing front-end custom work on sites, writing back-end tools, and fixing broken sites. We are a rapid-response DEV team, and we typically turn around any custom requests in less than 5 days and fix any broken sites on the same day as they were reported. We manage almost 15,000 sites across multiple countries, and deal with very large corporations that many of you interact with every day (I'm trying to be cryptic here hahaha.) There are 16 of us on our team, and we are the only DEV team within our department of 500+ people. We are also the only DEV team taking requests from these 500+ people. The way the department works, we are the final say on whether a specific piece of custom work will get completed or not, and we are the go-to people when anybody has a question about our system infrastructure or if our system can accommodate a request, along with how to fix any broken pieces of our platform. We typically get about 150 requests per day. Lately, the entire team has become unhappy with our compensation for the work we do. We're quite underpaid, and they keep giving us more responsibilities without any sort of extra compensation. We've discovered that there are a large amount of non-developers below us that are getting paid more than we are. We've found that we get paid about $15,000 less than a comparable DEV team in a different department (let's call that team DEV_2,) just because of which department our team exists within, and how our department defined our job back when this position was created a few years ago. Ever since the position was created, our team's responsibilities have exponentially increased. We believe that there is absolutely no reason that an entry-level position below us should get paid just as much, or even more in some cases, than a developer. Of course, we're not asking to pay them less. Instead, we've decided that we're going to bring this up with our manager and schedule a meeting with him, our Department Director, and Human Resources, and voice that we believe that we should be on the same payscale as the comparable DEV_2 in the other department.

To be a good developer on our team, you need to not only have coding expertise, but also an encyclopedic knowledge of what you can do within our platform without any coding. You need this knowledge so you can pass it along to any people in positions below you, in case they didn't know that something could be done without custom code.

We're going to argue that if it weren't for our team, the company would be losing millions of dollars in clients, because people wouldn't have anybody to go to for platform infrastructure questions, broken websites, or custom work. Instead, they would need to send these requests to the DEV_2 team, which currently take about 6 months to turnaround requests. Like I said, we are a rapid-response DEV team, and these particular clients think that a 5 day turnaround time is ridiculous. If they had to wait 6 months for their request to be completed, they would cancel their contracts.

Not to mention the general loss of knowledge if the members of our team went to a different department, which would be catastrophic for our current department. Believe me, this department could not function without this DEV team. If we all went on vacation for a week, the place would be on fire by the time we got back, and many clients would be lost.

Do any of you have any experience with a situation like this, and if so, how did it turn out? Thank you!

We have a long standing, transient, occasional error in our system that we haven't quite been able to (or have had the time to) pin down.

I was thinking out loud with our project lead what the cause could be, which - before I realized it - segwayed seamlessy into me being tasked with hotfixing it in order to unblock some other tasks that people expect to start working on tomorrow.

I think I'm starting to see why people use inanimate objects for rubber ducking instead of other devs. Here's hoping my theory checks out.

Today in programming class.
FizzBuzz on a sheet of paper. I mean, of course I aced the one thing I do in every language I learn. :)

Our teacher then proceeded to talk about the fact that some people, even having studied Computer Science, were unable to make a FizzBuzz program.

w h a t ?

So I work for a store that sells audio and video equipment. My boss asked me to find old stock that is in our system but not on our site.

We have an event at one of our stores in a week. I made a simple quiz - where people can fill out there email and win... something.

So going through the old stock we found something random, and my boss had the "great" idea to use that as the price for the quiz.

Guess what it is...

nah you won't

ITS A FUCKING TEAPOT.... I AM NOT KIDDING YOU - our audio video store is giving away a teapot as a price!?!?

yet here people are fucking driving nonstop even though our fucking gas prices are through the roof.....

just giving alllllllll our goddamn money away.

also i think this is an awesome project.

far better than the million and 1 stupid tasking boards like monday.com heh

If you said “I like webpack” when I said “Fuck Webpack.” I have downvoted your comment.

Keep your satanism in your own corner, we will stay here in our universe without people like you who enjoy pain and internal death.

Got blames for 2 hours because our product went down.

Because the provider of license managment went down.

Well, now I put in place a "fuck you" work around. If licensing provider is down, people can still connect and use product (But not create new accounts).

So silly.

Ok. This is not a rant.

My company invites our customers each year to something like a exhibition. We have a very complex business software which is installed on the intranet of our customers. So the customer representatives are very used to us.

After the presentations we all joined an event prepared by our Marketing people.

That was so great and fantastic. Honestly.
The best part - if you once drank with a customer, the comunication is much different than before 😵

I'm still having a hangover. So sorry for typos....

>>"Oh we're more like family here and we like to have people join our family style instead of setting strict rules and punishing people " == "You'll stay late everyday and you won't be paid any extra hours and you'll be ass fucked with impossible deadlines unless you could fondle the managers balls"

True
>>

We have gotten an email saying we need to use our Teams channel to place our food orders less. A random colleague then goes to the local supermarket and buys the food orders. This group chat has around 15 people that often need something from there. If you don't need it, you ignore the channel.

So we need to use it less. So we follow the orders and now we privately message everyone for their orders. Talk about a real "time gain" :D

I'm going to have a test tomorrow... And I still don't know the grade of the test I've done over 1m ago (2nd of November)... And people are saying the teacher told them the grade is coming tomorrow when he told us on my class (2 different shifts) that it was coming out today... Someone send help please
In the uni's regulation it says that if teachers don't release our grades for a test 3d before the next one, we can talk to our pedagogic commission and ask to do something about it. People from my course on fb were talking about asking to remove the minimum grade on the average of our 2 tests, but IDK how that situation is and I don't think there's much we can do about it so on top of tomorrow's test. And changing the date of the test isn't really an option because we have 3 tests left on the next week and 1/2 and it's all so on top of each other so the only solution would be to make it after the 20th (that's our last test, and people have already booked flights to go home)

Religion is ruined by people.
God's bugs are our mistakes, the platypi, and turtle penises.
Nature is so much better without us, I enjoy programming but the users are polluting, wasteful, selfish useless beings removing resources from the Earth.

Sometimes I want to become a hacker and ruin rich people's lives.

Hi my dear fellow coders, I have a small request for you.

If you are among those coders who are working on microchipping people / quantum dot something, tracking people, classifying people, AI, ML or any other such software which is going to harm or cage us or take away our freedom. Please stop doing so.

Why I came out with this rant?
I myself am working on a covid-19 screening app which would rate people based on symptoms and if they seem high risk they would not be allowed to enter unless they do a covid-19 test. I am tracking their movement and the requirement is to restrict people’s movement.
My conscience says that this is incorrect and and I should not be a part of such things which take away the freedom and liberty of people.
I am stopping it now.

Project name - "JIRA 2.0"
Description - JIRA seems to not be informing people in our company about much of anything right now. Engineers don't know how to find anything. PMs don't know when things are shipping.

Me: JIRA, you had 1 job!

Things fuck up when people start playing politics.

Why can't people just work peacefully.

Fucking egoistic jerks. I'd burn such people, if I can.

At this point, I'd honestly take the Facebook offer when I get selected there.

This motherfucking team is full of assholes trying to make our lives hell.

Most web developers don't seem to care at all about ecological footprint and UX/UI impact on people and society, like they never cared about accessibility either, desperately dreaming to work for the Californian oligopoly companies that shaped our current digital infrastructure.

Meanwhile, rivers run dry, forest are burning, people starving and soldiers killing people.

But politics is taboo, even on devrant. Let's post a funny thank-God(?!)-it's-Friday GIF animation instead!?

What kind of people do we want to be?

Our community on devrant is pretty big and I'm guessing also diverse. I'm trying to find some information about developers in underdeveloped nations - how is your life compared to the rest of the people in your country? Are you happy with your pay? What about startups? Any good startups that stemmed from underdeveloped nations?

We are switching to an infinite scroll mode for our app. I told the backend dev in my project (we're just 2 people) I need an API to get more than one post at once.
He told me to use a loop to call the old URL 15 times.
...Not sure if stupid or just too lazy

I was testing a change on my local copy of our companies calendar application under my co workers account because he has different settings.
Turns out email notifications are working, and I've been spamming people about fake events under my co workers name.
Whoops

Our company recently moved to git and the number of people who do not understand basic git concepts like commit and push are too damn high! I don' get it, its a completely logical model, what is so hard to understand.

Some tech from our ISP decided to fiddle with our connection during stand up. Our CTO is all up in his business, trying to figure out what the issue is. The tech is being pushed more and more away as our devops people join in on the chaos. Meanwhile I'm having coffee and looking forward to lunch.. Can't test if I don't have access to the server.

We are upgrading to nodejs 8 late, because no one is tracking versions. I had to rage a prove war with everyone that we must upgrade because node 6 is ended lts. This week i have to argue with one of the admins that the build server should be updated also (jenkins). And his problem is that our private jenkins server is not used only by our company, but other companies under our group. In my mind the only question is who decides our or other company project is important to build nor6maly. And why we should care ..
Every fucking time its a war against stagnant and/or lazy people.

(pseudorant)
Any ideas on how to end with computer scams (fake Microsoft support calls, money flips and the other gazillion)?
I'm really tired of this. A$$#les abusing unsuspecting people, abusing our elders, shielded behind a remote control session.
I know that this is very I.T. I'm just appealing to the extremely powerful distributed knowledge of all SUPERB people in devRant.
Thanks and hope that this was not tl;dr

!dev

is it just me or are others also noticing that our society is getting similar to the one seen in Idiocracy [the movie]?

I mean... I'd understand one or two dumb things: people do it, realize how stupid it is and move on. But now it's more like the other way around: people do something smart, realize it, undo it and move on.

Has anyone else seen Idiocracy?

Our software is terrible and I'm pretty sure our department is fucked but at least I like the people I work with.

The moment your website throws an irrelevant modal is the moment I close your website. It's the most disgusting website practice of our time, and people really should do something about it. If your client asks for it, please, just say no.

Today we had a cryptolocker running through our file servers. The locker came from a mailicious e-mail from a strange address. The email contained a strange pdf file with an embedded docm file. 6 people out of a workplace of 80 opened that file. These people...

I work in a big corporate world where I felt really out of place at first. I didn’t enjoy working there, I could not understand why people would work so hard to keep all the systems happy. No one thanked them, no one gave the smart people maintaining the important systems any credits. I did not understand. Why did they care so much for these systems?

My team split. We were too many with too many systems to care for. After this my team was a lot smaller and therefore I ended up in a more important role. I was forced to do these tasks the more senior engineers had done before me, in the previous team. This was the greatest thing that could happen to me, and I started to like coming into work. Now our team is big again but I’m one of the senior people in it. Not senior as in years active in the industry but senior as in knows the most about our systems and our work environment. I work hard to constantly share my knowledge and try to put the newer members in situations where they also have to take responsibility.

Don’t be afraid to put important tasks on junior or new people. They might fuck up but they will learn, as will you. Don’t hog your knowledge and your team will thank you.

I had a user tell me how important he is and how our software is making it harder for important people like him to run reports on people in their region and how it "just doesn't make sense" for important people like him... and on and on and on and on.
I was on the phone for over 30 minutes.

Deep sigh

I don't understand the hype among the non technical people about Blockchain! Why the fuck they want to implement everything in Blockchain? Don't they know that it is not for every single application and mostly used for some trustless applications?
Now one of our clients wants his restaurant website to be implemented in Blockchain!

Worst: Uni called us back for offline exams in the middle of pandemic despite our attempts of thwarting it.

Best: Thankfully none of the people I know got infected and we got some time together before we graduate.

Had some fun with textgenrnn (Tensorflow text generating thingy on Github). So I created a tiny dataset with some example c# code and let it train for a while.

Sorry people, but I ruined our jobs. We don't need to write code anymore.

Update: image was unreadable due to compression. Let me find an alternative.

To the people who keep overwriting our meeting room bookings in Outlook, fuck you and I hope you all die in a fire.

My boss keeps telling people to make sure to write stuff down during meetings. I feel like im in school.

Furthermore shes making our testers read application traces. And making me email it to them every time they want it because they don't have acess to our system.

Participating in a non-profit project related to corona outbreak. It should help thousands of people to say at home, have a peace of mind and stay healthy.

Our project should go Live this/next week and we already have a blessing from our government. They are already making some legal exceptions to us.

That feels good!

"I fully believe in investing in our people to further their brilliance"

...."have an hour a week to look at Plurasight"

*Looks at Plurasight course lengths*

When in an application security talk put on by our cyber security department and one team (not mine) is being chastised for only doing client side validation, another dev asks so at what point can we trust the user? A few people nod and indicate they want an answer, and the speaker, said never, you never trust the user.

I can't believe people can graduate and get a job and keep a development job, especially in a highly government regulated company like where I work

In the last few days I've been collecting data for our lidar-based people detector, and it made me wonder if foot fetish is also extended to lidar scans 😂

PM: we need to develop this awesome feature in our app since there are lot of other people who are providing this.
ME: what is the use case in our app and what exactly is the requirement here?
PM: I don't know 😎
ME: seriously 🙄

Join a military organization set on keeping peace between humans and machines, and then, when people disband our team because they live in peace, become a vigilante.

++ if you know who's this

The meeting I will go in few minutes. Our app went in production 2 weeks ago, the managers invite us (devs) to have a drink with 'important' people I don't even know. We will celebrate the success of the project, after 6 months of pressure with everyone telling we will fail and that we are losers. Hypocrite meeting.

Got pulled into a meeting that should have been an email about requirements for something I was building. It was basically 3 people arguing the whole time and trying to decide what they specifically wanted.

They even called our other branch and started arguing with them.

Total time: 2.5h

Giving a short talk on technical debt at our monthly meeting tomorrow. I hope it helps people in my organization understand why we need to take care of all the quick and dirty work we do. I'm tired of people saying how long updates take and the reason is because we cause the problems.

I HATE the idea of only releasing on pre-determined schedules despite work being completed and just waiting for that day to arrive.

I'm a co-founder of a small software company. We have partnered with another particular company that also writes software. Some of our clients have access to paid content of that company's services through our application.

Every once in a while, our clients will report issues with that company's service to us, because they access it through our application. They think it's our issue.

We then pass the report on to the partner company, telling them that their stuff is broken. Their reply goes like this:

"Ok. We'll get the bug fix scheduled, and we'll release it next Thursday."

"Next Thursday? The issue is now, they can't use the service."

"That's our scheduled release date."

O.M.G.

We voluntarily walked away from our safe, cushy jobs working for other people, taking enormous pay cuts to start this company. Now, we're 6+ years in, disrupting established fat-and-happy competitors in this space. I GUARANTEE you that if we had that same attitude, we would have been absolutely obliterated early on.

We are quick. Guided by kanban boards, our suite of unit tests and integration tests is vast and kick-ass. With continuous integration and the click of a button we know if we broke something or if the piece we're working on is ready to be pushed to production, IMMEDIATELY. Our "release schedule" is when the damn thing is complete.

It isn't all bad. Our integration with them has been beneficial for both of us. I just loathe their snail's pace which negatively affects our mutual customers. It can make us look bad, and we can do nothing about it.

Blah.

Last year, one of our government organizations' websites' edit page was editable without login credentials... People can easily modify or even delete a company. They had a login functionality for employees and was pretty much useless.

Why are some people incapable of reading documentation? THE "DUPLICATE RECORDS" IN OUR KAFKA TOPIC ARE BECAUSE ITS AN EVENT STREAM AND NOT A DATABASE. THIS IS LITERALLY ON THE FIRST PAGE OF THE GUIDE YOU ABSOLUTE MORONS.

Unpopular opinion but I really don’t have any sympathy for people who have been laid off at tech companies. Everyone knows it’s fucking volatile. That is coming from someone who has been laid off in the past year. Out of all the wealth classes of our society, I have no sympathy for people in the richest career field in the world. They will undoubtedly find work and be able to support their high class lifestyle. Let’s start having sympathy for people actually sleeping out on the streets you dumbfucks.

We all have that moment in life when we feel that people around us are just there to -use- you. Honestly it feels annoying when the majority does. My friends noticed that a lot of people used me to help in their tasks. I usually don't say no, I find every opportunity to be a learning one.

A friend of mine, after hearing our stories, said something to me that has ever since stuck to me:

"if people don't use you, you're useless".

Honestly, I find this to be one heck of an advice. Certainly has made me feel like I'm on the right track!

One of the projects started a year ago was to replace our tech/status dashboard. Two of our new people were even dedicated to developing it full time for 6 ~ 8 months. I found out today the entire board is gone, and it's been replaced to a link to Service Now.

Nearly a year of work, completely flushed down the tubes. Glad I wasn't on that project.

True story: My old boss once got told by his boss and our 'General Manager' (we think he self titled himself haha) that he shouldn't read technical books as "you don't want people thinking you're smarter than them".

Couldn't believe it. Imagine trying to improve your knowledge, seemed revolutionary in that place

!Rant

Just for blatant curiosity; how many people would ++ this just to help me get a stressball to get through this day.

Rant
So today I woke up to a message that my jobs webserver was down; and that all personal webpages for the Uni went down with it. We had no idea why or how it went down but eventually someone got it up- just in time for our Proxmox server to go down; which runs our new web server (thankfully it's not live yet), our print server, our PXE server, and more... Loving today. Such stress. Very shit.
We have a memo on the window "Watch your FPMs" (fucks per minute)

Today we got our first real contract for my software company. It fills me with the most confidence as I scroll this feed of people having the same issues as we do. Customers wanting more than was agreed, customers expecting us to know what they want before talking to us etc... Thank you devRant!

Learning React Native tonight, and I find this gem in their tutorial... "In accordance with the ancient traditions of our people, we must first build an app that does nothing except say "Hello world"."

I genuinely hate when people come up to my desk with our app up on there screen and just shove their screen in my face.... yes use your words buddy you can do it.

We are trying to rebuild our office. 20 people (13 developers). What would be the top priorities for you? Best tips you could give us?

So easy to DOS a whole software company.
Someone (accidentally) started a script or similar, generating so many requests on StackOverflow that our IP got banned.
In the company chat people already joking how they cannot work. This is "critical infrastructure" in 2018: faulty IP in our network is taken offline. Let's see if we can access SO again today.

When you wanna convert people.

Have you heard about our lord and saviour linux ?

VSCode Extension Store, served by our friends at @MS_Headquarts won't let me leave a negative review about their crappy python extensions that change their ways more often than other people change their underwear!
The traces of shit are similar though.

I see people posting about ops. I wish we had our own operations team :(

I wonder if being a developer was originally thought of as an undesirable position...

"We need to pay people to sit at a computer all day writing code, sometimes skipping meals, getting less sleep and dealing with all our clients shit"

in the hospital with surgery and our deployment goes wrong, so glad I work with really good people!

do you guys think multitasking is a high standard? at work we deem it essential, but i wonder if it's too much to expect new people to pick up on our pace. if we're not coding in a meeting while answering texts and emails, we're not getting anything done

I get plenty of sleep and wake up to my manager talking about escalating tickets. I'm on support this week and my queue was empty yesterday, but there were several new "urgent" requests that never got assigned to me.

Wait, so I'm responsible to assigning tickets to myself now? Our support is so shitty now. Our good document got hacked to pieces and now I can't find anything, and the customer support people are constantly bitching if things aren't done right now for tickets I was assigned while I was asleep.

People talk about others last words, but we all know that our last code would be much more interesting 😇

"I would say my biggest pet peeve related to the industry would be people focusing on technology instead of design, standards instead of users, and validation rather than innovation. Web standards and best practices are noble goals, but all too often in our community people forget they are a means to an end, not the end itself." - Jeff Croft