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Search - "no seriously"
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Seriously, why? WHHHYYYY?
US-date-format sucks, every FUCKING TIME!
The only time I really notice is when the "month" is larger than 12:
05/13/2017
"5th of Dec... oh. Fuck. Not this shit again..."
(It makes no sense. Absolutely none.)34 -
Today, I finally had the opportunity to say to a client: "It is not a bug, it is a feature".
No, seriously, it is a feature.2 -
Recruiter: Will you like to do internship?
Me: yes,how much time I need to dedicate?
R : 40 hrs/week atleast
Me : Is it a paid internship?
R : No we will provide you with experience letter
Like seriously 40hrs/WEEK unpaid25 -
I genuinely am lost for words on this one.
I just asked a user to press the wifi button on their laptop so i can check their wired connection was up and running okay.
They couldn’t find the blue ‘Fn’ or ‘aerial’ symbol that i described, so sent me this picture to see if they were pressing the right button.
Like....
What?? No!
What is wrong with you?? Seriously???
*cries*
Working on a helpdesk is destroying my soul!!7 -
Just got BUGS list from our Client and fuck- 95% of bugs are not even bugs :|
- No, changing the (not pre-decided) verbiage is not a bug
- Adding two more pages in the app is not a bug (what the fuck :|)
- No, APK file not running in iPhone is not a bug (goddamn :|)
- No, adding these "fuckin new" functionalities is not a bug (seriously ? :/)
AND
Mr "used to be a good coder" PM,
Getting "504 Timeout Gateway" error because Server is temporarily down is NOT a fuckin frontend bug
And No, writing Javascript with a proper design architecture is not a "complicated" way of coding
and fuckin No, Global variables and functions without any architecture don't make the programming "kind of better"
ps: And VB dot net is not a fuckin scripting language, VBScript is.
Thank you,
"buggy average coder"9 -
Not a specifically dev related story, but absolutely rant worthy.
Today I was working from home, and my wife called me to tell me that some awful person had thrown a young cat into the dumpster at her work.
To that person - you are a scumbag. You’re lucky no one left you alone in a hot car as a kid, let alone a dumpster. Seriously, why? Why is it so hard to take it to a shelter?
Anyway - I went and bought a whole bunch of cat stuff - I grew up with cats but I’ve never had one on my own. We’re at the vet now. I think we’ll name her Curry (after Haskell Curry, and lovely spicy dishes).22 -
Client: so how could we test this 😬
Me: you know what, send me an email at linuxxx@companyname.com and I can look if I can properly reply! Keep in mind though that this is for one time only, no further questions through that email address!
Client: Yes of course! *sends email*
Me: *tests* - *works fine* - *messages client back through the ticket system*
Client: *proceeds to send two follow up questions to my fucking work email address*
Me: *selects emails* - *marks emails as spam and deletes them*
Fucking seriously?! Cunt.18 -
That moment when your boss is introducing the new guy and you are silently making a list of all the git repos you need to back up before he makes it to his desk.
-
"Can you give an example of a work-based conflict you were involved in, and how you went about resolving it?"
"Heh, ohhhh yes. Last job actually. Manager flipped out at me for the billionth time for no reason at all. I calmly handed my notice in, changed a bunch of encryption keys and disabled a bunch of users on the server before leaving and never looking back."
"Wow. Seriously?!"
"Absolutely. I'm very forward-looking."
Still no idea if the guy just decided to turn up to the interview to waste our time, or he really was stupid enough to think that was a positive.10 -
Dev: Hey, do we have a Google cloud machine running?
Me: No we have AWS remember?
Dev: Okay..
Me: Why do you want a gCloud?
Dev: I had this large stack of files and want to put them somewhere, off of my laptop. I just feel comfortable using Google than AWS.
Me: Umm.. there is Dropbox for that sort of stuff. Not high performance servers running our services.
Dev: ...
Dev: (After a moment) Yeah, why didn't I think of that? :/
Me: Seriously???
I think he forgot to have breakfast today.18 -
Friend: Why don't you just quit your job?
Me: I want to, I just can't right now, it would cause too many issues.
Friend: oh really? Will it affect your health insurance or pension?
Me: No my office is the shipping address for my new iPhone. Haven't got it yet.
Friend: Oh ffs .... seriously?7 -
So today I was with my I guess 9-10yo cousin. He was playing clash of clans.
I told him, “you can also make this type of games”.
After this he was stared at me for like 25-30sec his face expression was awesome. Then said “seriously? I thought games are developed on a certain place where all the games are made.”
I said “no anyone can create games if you know how to code and all.”
After that multiple questions was on the way and I answered all for him.
But he totally amazed with this knowledge. And I felt good to.10 -
If. You. Don't. Contact. Us. With. A. Registered. Email. Address. Or. Phone. Number. Then. I'm. Not. Giving. You. Any. Information. Relating. To. 'your'. Account.
Oh you "don't agree" with that?
Guess what, never gonna give you up!
Oh, typo, that should've been: never gonna give a fuck!
No, seriously, I couldn't care less.48 -
I just hate it when an update for an app is available and there's no changelog. Seriously, tell us what this update is about!5
-
So, I just got up, opened my sister's laptop to work (she gave it to me while I was in this small trip) and I see this. She was like "if you break it, I'm gonna kill you" and I said "oh no! What am I gonna do? Hammer it or something?" Fuck my luck, seriously16
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Mother of god.
I spent hours and hours last week to try and get OpenVPN working. I mean, OpenVPN is working perfectly fine (on a VirtualBox (nope no vmware for me on servers) machine on a friends' dedicated server) but it wouldn't get through! As in, every forwarding/firewall rule just didn't work.
Was seriously about to lose my shit just now when I suddenly noticed the term 'TCP' in a forwarding rule.
Looked at the .ovpn file: proto udp
I added the exact same rule for UDP as a forward within VirtualBox.
It worked.
Well, there goes quite some hours 😐
And solely because I didn't realise that I setup a forwarding thingy for the wrong protocol.
I feel very stupid now :(5 -
I need a vacation.
I’m horribly depressed and burned out, every day for months has been a little harder than the last, and really doing anything at all is a monumental challenge, work or otherwise. Let alone working on the fucking screwdriver.
I told my boss last night and requested time off.
His response?
> Oh no, but the new screwdriver! We were all really really hoping to get it out by the end of the month!
I’m a crumpled wreck and all you care about is the fucking screwdriver that PRACTICALLY NOBODY WILL FUCKING USE? Seriously dude, go to hell.40 -
PineScript is absolute garbage.
It's TradingView's scripting language. It works, but it's worse than any language I have ever seen for shoddy parsing. Its naming conventions are pretty terrible, too:
transparency? no, "transp"
sum? no, cum. seriously. cum(array) is its "cumulative sum."
There are other terrible names, but the parser is what really pisses me off.
1) If you break up a long line for readability (e.g. a chained ternary), each fragment needs to be indented by more than its parent... but never by a multiple of 4 spaces because then it isn't a fragment anymore, but its own statement.
2) line fragments also cannot end in comments because comments are considered to be separate lines.
3) Lambdas can only be global. They're just fancy function declarations. Someone really liked the "blah(x,y,z) =>" syntax
4) blocks to `if`s must be on separate lines, meaning `if (x) y:=z` is illegal. And no, there are no curly braces, only whitespace.
There are plenty more, but the one that really got me furious is:
98) You cannot call `plot()`, `plotshape()`, etc. if they're indented! So if you're using non-trivial logic to optionally plot things like indicators, fuck you.
Whoever wrote this language and/or parser needs to commit seppuku.rant or python? pinescript or fucking euphoria? or ruby? why can't they just use lua? or javascript? tradingview16 -
I would absolutely love it if people would write their own stupid code instead of blindly mixing everyone else's mental diarrhea together and pouring the resulting mess into their bloody stupid IDE. At least then I could insult them properly. As it is, they're outsourcing their fucking stupidity to the lowest fucking bidder and then bragging about how quickly they get everything done. And management eats it up! No wonder everything is a slow, tangled, unmaintanable mess.
I can't fix much of anything because almost none of it is in my control. It's all autogenerated bullshit glued together with laziness and poor taste. "But Root, why is fixing this taking so long?" Gee, I wonder why. Maybe if someone had built it somewhere in realm of correctly the first time, it wouldn't have all fallen apart when someone looked at it the wrong way!
Seriously, there's no way this pile of stale fertilizer could have passed QA.rant idiots import * fragile monstrosity leggy devs why code when you can steal no independent thought npm mentality10 -
Yes yes yes ... We all know HTML is not a programming language. Can everybody please stop leaving that as a comment in every single damn rant in this app?!?!?!
Seriously, get over it... I wonder where you would all be of there was no HTML.
Give
It
A
Rest
For
Fuck's
Sake25 -
Interviewer: So here are the technical tests. You have 20min.
Me: We agree I can use the internet?
Interviewer: No, sorry.
Me: Good, I'll make you pen&paper websites then. Seriously!?4 -
Colleagues sharing passwords.That was a big fat NO when I was a sysadmin - and for a good reason. But now, since I'm closer to development, it feels like no one really cares about the passwords. If I tell my colleague I'll take 10 minutes more because I can't log in, he OFFERS me his credentials. And sends them over saying "in case you need it". [the next day the same colleague was complaining his account is locked out. Oh, wonders! How on Earth...!]
But seriously, password sharing is a serious problem. I would fire the person on spot if I caught him sharing his credentials! This is the 8th deadly sin! IDC if they are for non-prod. Most people reuse their passwords in multiple systems, and even non-prod envs can bring the prod down! Or worse - install a trojan.15 -
It's a Sunday, playing around with code/servers/config stuffs and decided to give Arch another try! Downloaded Apricity OS (Yes, I still love beautiful interfaces I don't have to fully configure), realized I didn't have any spare discs so went looking for a USB flash drive.
Seriously. Those FUCKERS are always around when you don't need them.
But ohhhhh, the FUCKING SECOND YOU NEED THEM, THEY ARE NO-FUCKING-WHERE TO BE MOTHERFUCKING FOUND.
Well, there goes my FUCKING plans for today.14 -
Hello fellow ranters,
I created a poll to find out the distribution of used programming languages among us:
https://goo.gl/forms/...
I am curious, because obviously PHP is not very admired, and probably JS is the most used language around here. Lets see!
There is no information collected beside your answers. It would be awesome if you take this survey kind of seriously and do not add toooo many childish options ;)
You should have an insight into the answers after you participated. Maybe I will post some results after some time.26 -
Not that i mean any disrespect but fuck you. Fuck you and all that you stand for. No seriously, just go hit a train and die.
You are a DBMS teacher in an Engineering college and teaching to the Computer Science students in the year 2017, where computers are fully capable of playing sports and simulating human brain.
And you want your students to write down all the sql queries along with their monolithic tabular output on paper..... With pen?
And you wont accept my printed out output?
Fuck you from the depths of my heart.
Go ahead and dont accept my project.
I dont need your fucking credits.7 -
Me: So what you are doing in the IT field?
Him: I am hacking bank websites.
Me: OK, that's cool. It is good in free time. What is your actual job?
Him: I am seriously hacking the bank Web site!
Me: Trust me, if you seriously doing that you will never ever mentioned it...
Him: No, I am doing it legally... The bank hiring me to try to hack the website...
Me: OK, you mean that you are cyber security tester?
Him: That is almost the same...
Me: So you are tester?
Him: I am hacking bank's websites...
Me:....7 -
Today @ 4pm:
New dev: I need help with this issue, i've been stuck on it all day.
Me: ok let's look ...... ok, and did you try google this?
New dev: ... no
Me: ... why?
New dev: well this is clearly my issue, why would I google it? I only google for things I don't know
Me: ... ok ... we'll do you know what this bug is then?
New dev: haha ok, fair point, I'll give that a try. Thanks for the tip.
Seriously, should I be worried? I feel worried13 -
I so fucking hate mosquitoes. At this point I'm seriously willing to lure all those bitches in and guide them straight to an electrical death. Problem is, I know how to generate super high voltage to char the fuckers right into smelly dust, but I don't know how to lure them in, or even find them manually, so let alone automatically. Even a chemical reaction we can electronically dispense to lure in the fuckers, but I have no idea what that chemical stuff would be. I'm not a chemist (yet). But if I can build it, fucking hell.. I would build a ton of them, weaponize my entire home and even build some spares to send off to fellow ranters. Because those parasitic bitches must DIE!! The only reason why they still exist after thousands of years is because we didn't kill the fuckers yet. I want to fucking kill the leeches, preferably in the most gruesome way possible.
So yeah. A shout for help to my fellow ranters this is.. perhaps even a collab. I have no idea about the stuff that draws those fuckers into their death. Any suggestions? Whoever can guide me to the demise of those parasitic pieces of shit, seriously.. if at all feasible, I'll build it for you and ship it!! Death to those parasitic blood-sucking bitches!!!26 -
My boss, delusional as always and getting worse every week, conveys the news that eight interns have been taken on. Without asking us seniors if that would be a good idea.
Us: ”who should, you know, actually help these good people out?”
Boss: ”we will have to work that out”
Us: ”we don’t have the time actually to do this without seriously pushing deadlines forward”
Boss: ”we will have to work something out so that this does not happen”
Us: ”soo, we don’t have to actually help these guys and girls once they are here?”
Boss: ”no, they obviously need a lot of help. What we do here are really complex”
Us: 😬7 -
Alright, the blog seems to be running again and its not breaking yet which is a good sign :P.
Although nothing has changed on the front end yet, the backend has been partly rewritten to be more efficient and of course, post sorting based on posting date!
I'm aware of most of the front end issues so no need to tell me all of them again, I'll look at that tomorrow as I need sleep right now :(
If you'd find any bugs/security issues, please, don't exploit them but report them instead! I take security very seriously and will try to patch any security bug as soon as I can :)13 -
Dude, stop trying to cram your crappy open source library into all our projects. No-one uses it, it's buggy as hell, and even if it did work properly, it adds virtually zero advantages.
Seriously, if you Google this library, the results are: a blog post this guy has written about it saying it's awesome, the same guy answering people's questions on Reddit by saying that all their problems would be solved by using his library, and someone else raising an issue saying it doesn't work 🤦♀️5 -
I ran out of instant noodles and had to go out to buy some, and literally the first thought that came to my mind was "Why the fuck is the sun so bright"
No, seriously, why does it feel so bright1 -
So someone posted
"Hello! I need very minor work. Just some bug fixes and debugging"
So I read on and the first requirement is
"There is no admin panel. Make an admin panel for my website"
Like seriously WTF.7 -
Back the mid 90s at secondary school, a friend came back from holiday with a Casio CMD-40 TV remote control watch. It was like magic, no one had never seen anything like it before.
We pranked our history teacher so badly, changing the channels, volume and turning the TV off while we were supposed to be watching some video on Henry VIII or something (no idea, too busy PMSL).
We'd pass the watch round the class to keep em guessing.
In the end, school replaced ALL the TVs and were seriously pissed off, to this day I believe they had no idea it was us!4 -
Friend - Could you develop a Website for me ?
Me - What exactly for?
Friend - (Explains what he wants) and the name of the site should be eventsomethingmanagement.com
Me - oh for that you'd have to buy the domain name, and host your site there
Friend - I thought you'd do all of that
Me - Seriously? NO
Friend - I thought you were an engineer
Me - :|8 -
https://github.com/python/cpython/...
Seriously? Isn't that pretty obvious from the context that slavery is no subject here?
But it is pretty ironic they merged that into master...16 -
There is no planet in this multiverse where chrome should be using more ram than an ENTIRE VIRTUAL MACHINE. WHILE ITS COMPILING OPENCV!!! Seriously!?!?9
-
The NOS (Dutch national news agency/company) was criticized recently because the cookie/tracking consent thing was 'too much/inconvenient'.
Seriously, their consent thing exists out of three yes-no buttons (one for each subject and the subjects have a very short but understandable description) which you can click or tap (it works perfectly on mobile) within a fucking second.
It's the best fucking consent thing I've seen and now they're saying it's inconvenient.
Inconvenient my ass, other companies should take it as example! (https://nos.nl)14 -
Diversity Support Tickets EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE
Because if you happen to be born a woman or you like men (or women or both or none - its up to you) you'll get that €399 ticket for free. Seriously? From when white straight man can afford to pay for the conference but a different skin, gender or sexual orientation cannot?
No hate - you do you, but from my perspective as a woman, I feel this is kind of unfair to all my male fellas out there.5 -
What's with the 4 pixel wide scrollbars on some desktop software these days? Does nobody care about accessibility anymore?
No seriously.
Fuck you.
And why the fuck does open source software seem to be the main culprit - as usual.
And tutorials telling us to add an extra blank line to our source code because fucking Linux distros decide to put an overlay horizontal scrollbar just over the top of where the last visible line in an editor appears.8 -
I’m so tired of egocentric lying management executive types.
Executive: You should be thinking about how you speak to the “leadership”.
Me: How about stop lying, blaming me for your own mistakes, and then blackmailing?
Guy has never heard ‘no’ in his life.
Seriously, иди на хуй.10 -
I switched to Comic Sans for any internal communication.
Those in delivery/support/sales/HR/emotional crap/professional buzzworders/etc no longer take me seriously and therefore I no longer waste my time with their BS.
If not an improvement in the more materialistic side of the career itself, certainly an improvement in the quality of life.3 -
That you if you cant solve a problem on paper you can't solve it in the real world.
But seriously coding gave me a voice, I was a seriously smart kid, but I was also a dirty orphaned dropout.
Everyones worth in this world is measured on a piece of paper and mine was blank. I was just seen as some overly ambitious kid spinning fairy tales and crackpot theories because no one could understand what the ideas value was or didn't try because of my age and cv, then I taught myself to code.
All of a sudden my theories were provable and I had a way of delivering them to not just one but millions of people in a way that they could understand and interact with them.My whole life changed and the day I wrote my first program was the last day I was ever judged by a piece of paper. -
I really like my little group for this one huge exam project we have. Everyone's nice, ambitious, takes the project seriously, responsible and communicates well. Additional bonus is we're all on the same skill level so everyone's learning and nobody is dragging a huge load alone. We've had no issues so far and despite being fairly early in the project we're making good progress all around. Is this what a stress-free experience feels like? Pretty happy with the project in general and I think our app idea is pretty cool too.22
-
When your raspberry pi is bombarded with /phpmyadmin URL attempts in all its forms and possible paths and versions 😅
Like seriously? Who in there right mind uses phpmyadmin AND has it accessible to the public.
- there's no databases on this Rpi but you keep looking.11 -
I've come to a conclusion today: Management are fucking with me. I know it sounds far fetched, but its the only thing that makes sense.
I was in a meeting today, discussing some bad emails back and forth. Part of my issue was the amount of time spent on useless meetings, or waiting around to give demos.
The meeting got cut short, so I could prepare a demo for a VP ... after an hour and a fucking half of waiting around ... theres no time to see my demo.
What the actual fuck, seriously .... seriously what the actual fuck. What if the name of mother fucking christ is going on with this team, that they call me into a mother fucking meeting to discuss the "developers attitude" only to go and cut it short ... so they can fucking waste my time ... for the second time in 3 mother fucking days.
Oh i'd rather fuck myself with a cactus than spend the rest of my days dealing with this utter bullshittery. -
So my ISP decided it was ok for them to log into my router remotely and re enable the wifi.
I turned it off for a reason and no your excuse that it will improve my upload speed is bullshit you stupid patronising fucking shithead.
I'm now seriously looking into cancelling my service with you because you don't respect your customers or their wishes.
Also I'm guessing there's a default backdoor password into the router as I changed all the passwords I could find. Meaning the whole thing is horribly insecure.11 -
You know what grinds my gears. Spaghetti code, bloated code base with 5000 line files, and poor file organization.
Seriously really pissing me off right now. Its like walking into a library and there's no shelves and the books are just thrown into massive piles.
I've spent so much time trying to figure shit out just to implement basic things. Its messing with my productivity and making me hate my job.5 -
#rant
Instead of receiving a motivation in 2018, my boss decided to go anti mainstream and started with demotivation speech.
He started with how good we were last year even when he wasn't around. Well done team! But after that, it went downhill.
We were asked to work even harder, we got new policy (no unpaid leave, no paid overtime, minimum 40 hours working, etc) which some of them make sense and some don't, a specifically set break time (apparently to shut down smokers for smoking at random times), and warning for not being punctual.
And pay rise only after end of financial year.
To make it worse, we are not allowed to take naps or watch youtube on our desk on our breaks.
I seriously wonder what happened during his Christmas NY break. I'm not an entrepreneur so I have no idea if that is a right way to run a company or if Australia government just created new law. But surely I know this is when I say "New year, new company"7 -
Ticket: Allow merchants to customize how their Wallet Passes look! It’ll be super easy, just add these nine merchant-modifiable strings (they support vars) and use their contents for text instead of what we use now. Simple!
Reality: There need to be 24 strings, there are some rules I can’t convey to the merchant (because the system literally does not include instructions, only a name and a textbox), the code to generate the wallet pass is inefficient, uncommented, branching spaghetti that I’ll need to rewrite (it seriously generates every possible field, and then only uses the ones it needs), the specs are so much worse, and half the default values they want aren’t even possible. As in, I don’t know if it’s a car loan, let alone the exact make and model of the bloody thing.
And no, sorry, we have no way of knowing what their fucking “vertical” is, either, so we can’t display that. Fucking sales.
Asdhkjfsjfads
WHY MUST EVERYTHING SUCK7 -
Wordpress does not suck. If you know how to work it.
Past period I saw so many rants on WP. My rant is that it is not 100% WP fault. Yes there are seriously structural problems in WP but that does not mean you cannot create top-notch websites.
At my work we create those top-notch WP sites. Blazing fast and manageable. Seriously we got a customer request to make the site slower because it loaded pages to fast (ea; you hardly could see you switched pages).
- We ONLY use a strict set of plugins that we think are stable, useful.
- We have everything in composer (and our own Satis) for plugins.
- We use custom themes & classes. Our code is MVC with Twig.
- In our track history we have 0 hacked websites for the past 2 years.
- Everything runs stable 24/7
- We have OTAP (testing, acceptance & production environments)
- We patch really fast
These are sites going from $15k++ and we know our shit.
Don't hate on WP if you have no clue what you are doing yourself.
That is my rant.23 -
By not having them. Seriously, every job I had was more than average paying and I was overqualified for the tasks. Sure I didn’t develop oh-so-important software but I never had to do overtime, lose sleep because of workplace difficulties.
Pick your fights well. This profession is unfair. No need to endanger yourself for idealism. -
Seriously? There isn't a "no pants" option? Seriously? come on @dfox, we all know how stuff really gets done 😉6
-
Installing arch,
everything works perfectly,
installing grub,
won't install to partition,
use force option,
grub installs,
grub boots,
select arch,
failure...
Looking through the config file I discover a uuid I don't recognise, oh,
that's because literally no device or partition marches this uuid that appeared from the damn ether.
After changing it to point to an existent partition it works...
But seriously grub, why does your setup script just pull addresses out of it's ass? I lost 10 minutes because I thought you were trustworthy...5 -
I cringe everytime I see improperly formatted code -_-
Me: *sees no spaces between function blocks so I format it myself*
Classmate: *Happily types code with no spaces between lines or comments and overwrites what I did*
Me: Seriously?!8 -
GIT LOG VERSION 101
----------------
75fed18 pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
56772ff added security.
6374fdd needs more cow bell
6b27de9 Committing fixes in the dark, seriously, who killed my power!?
bffce8a giggle.
7e93977 Refactored configuration.
e66c495 pgsql is more strict, increase the hackiness up to 11
5690dd9 Revert "just testing, remember to revert"
daa84ba Still can't get this right...
097f164 this should fix it
367f271 GIT :/
f46d735 bump to 0.0.3-dev:wq
b893721 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
24be0d9 ...
f014a0c ALL SORTS OF THINGS
e648b80 added super-widget 2.0.
3a71628 perfect...
e2a8cb1 Fucking templates.
b08e489 pgsql is more strict, increase the hackiness up to 113 -
Today a new person joined the team.
Started bitching about the entire team for not having documentation for our already written code and software.
Asks the manager for a new task that he can take up so that he can write documentation for all our already coded works.
Manager says Go On.
Troubles me with 400 questions every 3 minutes in the name of Knowledge Transfer for writing his documentation.
Sends a proud mail to the team for writing this new documentation that no one else had time to do.
He is a newbie and had no other task to do anyway.
I seriously don't know if I should feel proud of him, for writing new documentation,
Or if he's doing this to defame me.
The team is filled with snakes.15 -
So last night was a Friday. After leaving the gym I noticed a missed call and a voicemail from my client.
Note this was sent at 21:50 on a Friday night.
My client stated they were "rather disappointed" (to use their phrasing) that I didn't answer. There is no contract that I answer out of hours or any issues with their system.
This morning, I noticed my client followed up with an email. It was a single line saying they found some new AWS services they like to talk about (translate: "I've found some new AWS acronyms that sound cool that I wish to talk about for several hours").
Emergency! :)
Seriously, clients, sometimes :(4 -
My girlfriend configuring her e-mail account in the app because her phone had to be reset to factory :
-I can't figure out how to do these setting, annoying...
-Oh yeah the imap and smtp servers can be tricky, let me put that
(I Google the settings for her mail provider and put them in)
-It still doesn't work.
-Uuuh, maybe with another security setting, try it.
-This shit still doesn't work, seriously my phone is broken.
-Have you verified the e-mail address and carefully typed the password?
-Yes of course, I've tried it several time
(I take the phone and check all the parameters... During a looooong time... Until it hits me.)
-Hmm... Can you read the e-mail you've entered?
-Yeah, it's my mail, blabla@hotmail.com.
-No can you read it again please?
-It's blabla, why?
-No, can you *spell* your e-mail?
-Yeah it's B-L-A-B-L-A-@-H-O-M-A... Ow shit...
- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -
Please Google, allow us to disable that retarded Google translate thing you've got going on the play store.
Seriously, 90% of the apps' short description are absolutely unreadable because they insist on translating it to my device's language even if no translating is available.
I know it's probably useful to some people (the ones who don't understand English but somehow understand the human language equivalent of spaghetti-code, which I suspect is not many), but this needs to be disable-able, it makes the experience of discovering apps extremely awkward.9 -
I fucking hate ppl who transferred from business program into the CS program. They are all talk and no action. Literally this girl who claim to be “good at algorithm” doesn’t even know how to write a quick sort. In the past 2 months I have received more request from business program students to “help debug program” than all of the other departments (science, engineering) combined. Worse, some just straight ask for my code so they can copy off my implementation.
Seriously, it’s okay if you don’t know how to do stuff. But it’s not okay if you don’t want to learn AND feel so fucking entitled. I have a lot of homework as well, it’s not my responsibility to **help** you.8 -
I seriously wanna fucking knofe this guy who says JS is shit and Kotlin is superior well NEWS FLASH YOU FLYING PIECE OF WANK, every fucking language has its pros and cons
If you still think JS is supposed to be in browser well I say to you fucktard this isnt the 80s anymore and we ain't using Java applets and Flash for some limp dicked stuff JS has covered today. A language might have its dark sides but they are all fucking good. There is no superiour language there's only Mother fucking preference. I swear to god this is the worse limp dicked argument I've heard and I have to argue that JS has matured over the years11 -
Seriously fuck this place!
For this $200 per month job, i have to work ovetime and no travel allowance and boss begged me to work this sunday too..
Fuck my life11 -
I had an interview scheduled over skype a few days back. NO ONE FREAKING TURNED UP TO TAKE IT!!!!!
No mail from HR regarding reschedule/cancellation even till date..
I seriously wanna ask their management "WHAT KIND OF COMPANY ARE YOU RUNNING BROTHER ??!!"4 -
13 fucking USD in shipping for a 9 USD rubber duck? Fuck no.
Spend $2 a month and most likely forget I am now subscribing to devRant++? Yeah, sure. Why not, right?
Seriously though, thank God for this platform, I'm luckily not the only one with struggles..5 -
People here seriously write billing systems in Excel and expect me to fix it when something goes wrong...
how about no...3 -
After 2 years of applying for jobs and not getting any, I'm beyond tired of hearing employers complain to me and ask: "You have a Bachelors degree in Computer Science, you should be able to find a job without breaking a sweat".
Excuse me? In what world do you live in? Are you not aware that we have been living in an academically oversaturated market for more than two decades now? Nowadays you need a degree, plus a heavy portfolio plus crazy interest in the field (to an obsessive degree) because the competition is fierce.
It's not my fault I don't get jobs. It's always some "no fit", "not enough experience" bullshit.
Sigh.. seriously.34 -
Episode 2 of this rant: https://devrant.io/rants/851636/...
PM went to meet with the provider and came back, so I had a talk with the PM and it went like this:
Me: so how did the meeting go? Hope they corporate with you
PM: *in a sarcastic voice* Bro, you need be a good dev, they told me only a good dev can implement Master Card API calls, and its all in the docs. That's all they told me, so you should know how the meeting went
Me: *there is no wifi in jail, there is no wifi in jail, there is no wifi in jail, there is no wifi in jail* Fine bro, I'll go back to school and come back after 12 years.
Seriously when I send the provider the request and the body and all they tell me is: You have an error, Id must be unique but they fail to point out the exact error or at least send me a valid ID to test, how does this make me the bad dev and him the genius that can run Apple, Google, MS all together at once!
What is even worse, when I called the provider he told me: Man transaction ID must always be unique, how could you not know this, how is Mastercard supposed to differentiate between transactions!!
But hey, no one told me transaction id must be unique, primary keys are never unique, like DUH!10 -
Fuck. Medium.
Fuck all the articles on it too.
Do you seriously think I am so fucking dumb that I cannot keep my attention on a paragraph of text without at least one image for five seconds straight?
Three quarters of your shitty fucking article are images. They don't even relate to a damn thing in the article. It's just a fucking stream of random image subtitles.
It's just as bad as people randomly mashing pictures they found via Google search into their Power Point presentation because they actually have no content, breaking all copyright laws in the process, so they can stretch their mindless bullshit as long as humanly possible.
FUCK. YOU.6 -
>be me
>join new firm
>only developer
>Task : Migrate our PHP based website to reactjs
>okay not bad, I can do this
>*Completes in 2 days*
>get inputs from boss and he gives
>go back again to inform we're now SASS integrated
>asks for new wireframes
>wtf lol.exe
>wants new design for the same website like of the parent company which is WordPress template
>*Internally : I'm a developer, I don't do wireframes*
>okay no problem
Seriously, if you wanted a new design in the first place why didn't you said so? -
Css was developed by monkeys. I fucking hate how there is no organisation, laying out stuff requires too much work, there are billions of ways to do something. Aligning things in css actually has a web page dedicated to that, seriously, what the fuck????? I love doing backend and creating rest apis but for the love of god i cant stand css and front end in general🤦🤦🤦8
-
I dont see why recruiters find it relevant to ask how many lines of code a piece of software has. Like seriously why!?!?!?!
It by no means measures the quality of the code or the usability or complexity of the software.6 -
Manager: Hey software engineer, how's the project going?
Software Engineer: Good, just debugging my code.
Manager: Debugging? What kind of bug are you trying to fix?
Software Engineer: The ones that make my computer turn into a lava lamp.
Manager: Ha ha, very funny. But seriously, how can I help?
Software Engineer: Well, I need a bigger monitor. My current one doesn't have enough real estate to display all the errors.
Manager: How about a second monitor?
Software Engineer: No, I need a bigger universe.
Manager: I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, keep coding. We have a deadline to meet.
Software Engineer: No problem, I have all the time in the world. I just need to find a way to slow down time.
Manager: I wish I had your optimism. Just let me know if you need anything else.
Software Engineer: How about a unicorn? I heard they're good at coding.
Manager: I'll see what I can do, but in the meantime, stick to using a keyboard.3 -
Microsoft seriously hates security, first they do enforce an numer, upper and lowercase combined with a special character.
But then they allow no passwords longer than 16 characters....
After that they complain that "FuckMicrosoft!1" is a password they've seen to often, gee thanks for the brute force tips.
To add insult to injury the first displayed "tip" take a look at the attached image.rant password security security 101 security fail annoyance passwords passwords stupid practices microsoft13 -
Whatsapp from my mom:
"Hey, what means 'user defined' in WhatsApp?"
Me: "Depends. Where do you see it?"
Her: "Beneath user info and number"
Me: "Press the Power Button and Volume Down and send me a screenshot please, I have no clue"
Her: "What is the Power Button?"
SERIOUSLY???3 -
I don't hate Java, seriously.
I just prefer spending my first hours with a language actually programming in it rather than fixing shitty uninformative errors and learning libraries that follow no standards.
Pour your salt below.15 -
Got a ticket today to redo the companies html e-mail signature.
Requirements: Support for Outlook 2007-2016.
Me never done one before, thinking: "Regular Html and a bit of CSS, no biggie, can't be that hard"
Also me: "Okay let's see which CSS features are supported in Outlook 2007"
Quick google search to find out that there is nearly no support for anything and that Outlook uses Word as render engine.
Someone seriously thought using motherfucking Word to render Html & CSS is a good idea? FML9 -
Bout to go on a first date with this girl I been vibing with for a week and I am like getting seriously anxious like wtf. There’s no bug harder than dealing with what’s going on my head rn. Pray for me 🙏🏾26
-
FUCK Y.O.U. windows 10 for making my pc not recognize mics on the front port.
Seriously i usually dont mind windows that much but really ?! Oh hello i noticed you changed your os version THEN LET ME FUCK UP YOUR DRIVERS SO YOU FEEL LIKE A RETARD NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK.
Worst is i feel like an idiot because i have no idea how to fix this shit apart from buying a new PC, aaaaand im pretty sure while trying to fix it i made it worse
FUCK IM A SCRUB. FUCK PEOPLE ON INTERNET AND THEM "It works". NO IT DOESNT !
And now i feel like a worthless dev because of w1055 -
Macbook Pro - No ESC key?
Its not like its used much in vi or emacs anyway is it?
No esc key on a unix box? Seriously?
I know its got a 'soft' escape key - hows it going to know to switch to that if i run vi or emacs -nw in an ssh session?
Mac keyboards go from bad to worse - used to be a nightmare to find a | symbol.10 -
1) bugfixing
2) bugfixing
3) bugfixing
No, seriously, I love finding & fixing bugs.. it never gets old..frustrating at times yes, but it is never boring..4 -
Fuck edge and fuck ie
Its particularly funny when something works on IE...but not on edge. Go fucking figure.
Bing is ok ms...y'all should focus on that. Ie was semiok back in the day but your browser game is weak af b.
Like seriously
"Edge and ie are awesome"
Said no web developer ever7 -
Employer msged me around 11pm
She wants to talk n finalize on which assignment I will work on
And what's the best time to talk
I told her in morning if she have no issues with that
She replied ok
But haven't called
My friends told me she is offended
Wth
Seriously need your input guys
Have I done something wrong?
Is it necessary to talk right away ?7 -
!dev && rant
> be me
> headphones on
> hands packed with shopping bags
Some old bitch neighbor that I can't stand: oh hi!
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING ME TAKE OFF MY HEADPHONES FOR!?
Seriously. When someone has his hands stuffed with groceries and has headphones on, maybe they don't want to stop, put their bags down, take their headphones off and say no more than another hi. Like not even anything else, just hi and walk away! What's the fucking point!? Making me pause and waste time just for the hell of it? Thank you old bitch.9 -
Stop asking which Linux distro is best. Seriously there is no "best" one. Arch is best FOR ME. Debian or Fedora might be your cup of tea. But I have great news for you, they are all FREE and there is free virtualization software you can try them on. Stop asking a stupid question that only gets opinionated answers and flame wars and go try them for yourself.
Also, while I'm on the topic. Ubuntu, Ubuntu Mate, Ubuntu XFCE etc. are all the same distro, they just have a different DE (desktop environment for you noobs). It's like on Monday I wear a suit but Tuesday I wear shorts and a tee shirt, it's still me, I'm just dressed differently.8 -
PRIVATE - This is private, nothing here. seriously, there is nothing here. Do not click; I'm not kidding. Definitely no... [read more]3
-
Me: Hey, guys, this stuff is seriously flammable. Like, I’m surprised it hasn’t caught fire yet. I really want to clean it up. Here’s how I’d make it better.
Management: No. It’s fine, it works. Don’t touch it. It’s getting replaced anyway. Just add the things on top like we asked you to, and call it a day.
Me: Are you sure? This is seriously going to be a problem.
Management: We just said it’s getting replaced. Don’t. touch. anything. OK?
Me: alright.
… Eight weeks later …
Management: so this thing caught fire over the weekend, and the fire spread to other areas. We’re doing some emergency cleanup. The new guy looked at it and figured out why, and has some great ideas on fixing it, so give him some well-deserved praise!
Me: Hey! I told you about this months ago!
Management: Yes. I tuned out during today’s firefighting meetings. But it’s important to strike a balance in everyone’s style. Do you have any other concerns?10 -
Probably a little different shitty teacher!
Had a course in basic computer architecture and the teacher was way to over qualified to have that course. This is a guy who presents his research to Nvidia and Intel but is forced to teach a intro level course...
The result? He was completely unmotivated and unprepared for the lectures and was of no help on the assignments. Fortunately we had a awesome teaching assistant who saved the entire course for me and my friends. Seriously, kudos to that guy!1 -
Why use Vue.js, Angular or React when you have jQuery???
No, seriously I just finished 4 Javascript Projects without any front-end framework.13 -
My ex-boss who had 35 years of experience in IT Industry, didn't know one single fucking coding language, obviously had no clue about source control or anything even remotely related to computers, and had been project manager of a project having over 1 million lines of totally undocumented code split into 389 files with no apparent structuring. All variables were either alphabets or names of programmers who developed them.
Code was in Python 2 and had bugs/line ratio ~= 5.
He asked to write a 'wrapper' class and somehow run it in Java and fix all bugs automatically. (insert Shia LaBeouf's magic GIF here)
When I said it doesn't make sense, he said you should put in hard work and do it, and not give excuses.
Time given to do this - 1 hour :-P
Good thing I quit that shit place and that pathetic moron. Love my new job and life! :D
Seriously managers should trust their developers and allow some degree of freedom. It helps a lot.4 -
I hate JS...
I hate CSS...
What can be worse ? ...
*guy at work* : hey what do you think about CSS in JS, should we try it for our codebase ?
*other* : yeah why not ?
Me : *make a gun with my fingers, gently putting it in my mouth, remember all good things in life, no regrets* *gun noise*
Kidding, I love javascript.
But I seriously hate CSS and UX stuff.2 -
So if I understood it correctly...
Google rolled out YT-Dark for quite some time now FOR IOS(!!!)
And Android doesn't really have it? Random users get random popups asking if they wanns switch to dark but there's no official dark theme?
(Seriously:) WHAT THE FUCK?!
No wonder everyone switches to other services7 -
Oh my fucking god people are stupid, or ignorant, or fucking both.
How hard is it to copy a password from an email and paste that fucker in and press login.
Seriously several times of “this is your email” and “THIS” is your god dam fucking password.
God kill me now.
(No the password isn’t stored in plaintext, I reset it myself before sending it to the user)1 -
Ok, so I already asked when junior is no longer a junior..got mixed answers. Now I'd like to know what defines seniority level in your country?! Years of experience, having wide range of knowledge, great leadership skills, having boobs (joke).. ?!? But seriously, I have no clue what the standards in my country are, and internet is full of different opinions & examples that are making me wanna go cry in a corner.. o.O
Figured some answers from real people might help me get my head around this, so if it's not too much to ask fellow devs here, please answer this questions to help me grasp this better with examples..& non dev folks, you are welcome to comment too!!
A) What country are you guys from?
B) How is seniority defined there?
C) How are you placed by others?
D) If different, where would you place yourselves? Why?random i don't know what i'm doing syndrome wtf imposter syndrome question personal experience dev seniority12 -
My boss refuses to take any of recommendations for improving the companies out dated website because "our age market is 50-60" it has to be blan and simple.
Like seriously what the fuck, this is why no other generation is staying in the webpage more then 30 seconds!2 -
Pissed off. Planning on imposing a company wide hook that prevents you checking in code with a @Generated annotation. Seriously, never even heard about it being used outside of auto generated code until some bozos here seem to have started using it to silently drop complicated classes from test coverage metrics. Is this a thing with new coders these days, or are my lot just cowboys?!
No more, anyway. Sometimes it's convenient to be able to pull rank.8 -
Today I was working in a university studyspace. Some girl noticed my dark theme IDE, running some tests and such and assumed that I'm a computer guru. She then asked me if I could help her with MS Excel or MS Word. To which I answered "sorry, no". She might've just been trying to start something with me, but that was a deal breaker hahaha (seriously tho, if I were in a better mood I would have helped her)8
-
Seriously, wtf..
- Getting ready for the K.I.D.
- Will need a red LED light/lantern to see things around w/o waking the kiddo up
- Order a bunch of various models
- Receive some of them
- The another one arrives - it only has white and blueish-white modes
- Reach out to the seller, ask to send me what I've ordered
- Seller replies with:
> Hi, friend
> I am very sorry this light is out of stock now
WTF dude... I order a particular SKU of your products, I need it for its particular properties the other SKUs don't have and when you see you've got no more left you do what? Send me a random product? Seriously, WTF man?!? How about ping me with a message, explain that you've oversold the item and suggest a refund? naaah, too much work, right? Just grab whatever products you still have left on your shelf and send them to your customer instead. /s
WTF MAN?!?!2 -
Public service announcement: Wearing club de nuit perfume will have random people get close to you and smell the perfume thus complimenting it but making it really uncomfortable.
My brother in law gifted me this awesome perfume and it has brough upon some very serious awkward encounters.
I know it smells good, and I know I am pretty, but please ma'am I am married and this is weird, get away and ask me. Seriously no one every talks about how dudes get put into weird positions sometimes and I don't like females getting close to me.
I wear the perfume because I like the smell, and I get it, but please leave me alone.6 -
I'm literally the only one who locks the screen here at work.
Always makes me wanna do something to teach then.
My boss always leaves the screen unlocked with sublime opened and goes to lunch!
I think someday he was logged into production also...
And I'm like: seriously? wtf...
I lock my screen even when I'm home alone... yes I'm that paranoid...
No one is gonna "Greek question mark" me 😂18 -
Fun fact!
Xiaomi has a restriction where you're only allowed a bootloader unlock key one week after you've requested it. No, not a week after you've bought the phone. Not a week after you created an account and generated so much usage data that it would be stupid to doubt you're a genuine user.
No, you have to wait one week after installing their fucking desktop app and getting past some arbitrary point in the process.
Seriously, how much shit can this company pull with a straight face? At this point they're just sabotaging me, it's not even for any reason.16 -
The new Gmail shows how redesign should not be done. Everywhere white, bright colors, no contrasts. Here rounding is smaller, there bigger, there is shadow, here not. Seriously, what I saw a few months ago at the announcements looked much better than what I see now. It's good that I'm using a desktop client, because I think I'd switch completely to Outlook.8
-
Ok I'm seriously getting sick of this shit, my new manager wants us to have the fucking 12 hour night shifts from the office for .....no reason??!! for her own fucking entertainment I suppose!
I knew the day would come where my happy times at the new job would be over, my target now is stay 3 more months so I've been there for at least a year then see what happens. fuck me.4 -
Fuck this client's IT department. They're a bunch of Microsoft asslickers.
How am I supposed to push code to your self-hosted GitLab instance if you restrict me to Citrix RDP????? No OpenVPN access because I'm on Linux?? Seriously? Because I am not using any of your laptops?
FUCK YOU DUMBASSES, I COULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN YOU AND I JUST PLAY WITH LINUX.
When I said I only needed terminal access I would have never imagined they were thinking of Putty inside an RDP. What a steaming shit.
Oh you guys don't have a secret management service as any enterprise should? Oh I cannot add a secret management service as part of the solution I am building for you guys because "Hurr Durr yOu HaVe NoT pUt ThIs In ThE pRoJeCt PrOpOsAl sO nO"
Fuck you guys. You guys only don't want to move to the cloud to not lose your jobs. I would be far more productive than relying on you pieces of dumbassery.
They are all having each others back in using shit technology and practices.7 -
Seriously? Microsoft does not support ed25519 SSH keys in neither Azure DevOps nor the actual Azure Virtual Machines? Like seriously? No there has to be a joke. There just ain't no way
It has been in OpenSSH since 2013.
2013.
We're in 2023, if you've forgotten.
10 years ago, OpenSSH implemented this standard.
Did you know what they tell you when you enter your valid Ed25519 SSH key into their system?
Did you know they tell you that "Your SSH key is invalid"?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN INVALID???!?! IT WORKS EVERYWHERE ELSE JUST FINE!!! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT HAS NO FUCKING BRAINS!!!
Composure.
I am calm, I am calm.
I have always. Been. CALM!
There is no one more calm than me....
I guess RSA it is then.
A second SSH key, just for Microsoft.5 -
HR people on LinkedIn. What the fuck? Do you seriously believe you can attract qualified developers by telling them you’re looking for ninjas, jedis or life savers? I for one am still fairly new to the job so I don’t consider myself to be by any means a coding wizard, and I don’t think any strong senior developer is gonna be seduced by your catchy terminology (I may be wrong about that). Come on, talk to us like any recruiter would in any other line of business. No need to replace the words "qualified" or "experienced" with your stupid magic words, unless you want to sound like you’re desperate7
-
Oh, $work.
Ticket: Support <shiny new feature> in <seriously dated code> to allow better “searching” (actually: generating reports, not searching)
UI: “Filter on” inputs above a dynamic JS table don’t update said table; they trigger generating a new report.
Seriously dated code: 12 years old. Rails v3-isms. Blocks access without appropriate role; role name buried in secrets configuration files. Code passes data round-trip between server/client/server/model that isn’t ever used. Has two identical reports with slightly different names, used interchangeably. Uh, I guess I’ll update both?
Reports: Heavily, heavily abstracted; zero visibility.
Shiny new feature: Some new magical abstraction layer with no documentation nor comments. Nobody in my team knows how it works. The author… won’t explain, but sent me her .ppt presentation on it (the .ppt, not a recording).
Useless specs for seriously dated code: Tests exclusively factory-generated data; not the controller, filters/lookups, UI, table data, etc.
Seriously dated code and useless spec author: the CISO.
The worst part: I’m not even surprised at any of this.2 -
!rant
Certainly considering handing in my notice soon.
1. Paid minimum wage with no prospect of a raise
2. Spending £200 a month on travel
3. Traveling for almost 4 hours (70 miles) a day on bus and train
4. Promised training but nothing produced for 8 months
5. Expected to now pay for further travel
6. Not taken seriously...
Yep, need a new job in the Birmingham, UK area19 -
You're all fucking idiots with no thoughts of your own. No one gave a shit when Drupal and Django made the master/slave change 4 years ago because the idea of the "regressive left" wasn't the cultural enemy of the zeitgeist.
Think for your fucking selves instead of being so brain-dead and reactionary to something that doesn't even affect you.
Fucking neo-reactionary bullshit, that's what it is. You people don't care, you just want an excuse to rant at "teh SJWs".
Fuck.18 -
I started the weekend saying i wanna code some personal projects. Its sunday and u know what, fuck no. Sure we love to code but we are still human gonna go sit in a jakuzi and swim a little tonight. We need to relax every now and then. So if ur feeling theres a lot of shit u need to do... take a break. Seriously everyone needs it2
-
I will never understand the need people have to lie about their knowledge or make shit up. Seriously am I the only one to despise that ?!
If you don’t know about something stop trying to make shit up on the go, it’s useless and it will give the wrong idea to people listening to you thinking you know what you’re talking about.
Last example in date:
Me: Here’s this cool repo I found, it’s a discord client implemented in cpp, so it runs natively
Techbro: oh cool, hey @everyone you should download this, it runs natively so there will be no leaks like the normal client
😤8 -
!rant
This morning, I thought I'd give devRantron a try, and man, I'm not disappointed.
Since I'm always at my computer, I rarely check my phone and now that we have a proper desktop client, I can finally shitpost while sitting at my desk. :v
No seriously though, this app is awesome.
Props to Tahnik and the other guys who worked on it.5 -
My last boss, one of a kind:
Despite being an officer and me just a lowly enlisted, always closed the door and asked for my honest and unfiltered opinion on why whatever we're doing is a stupid fucking idea. Understood that when I call everyone idiots, it's not out of spite or disrespect. It's because they have no clue what they are doing and making nonsensical requests, and I just want to get us back on track.
A good boss doesn't say things like "I'm in charge so this is how we do it" or "I'm an officer so you can't criticize me because that's disrespect!" But instead listens to the ideas and thoughts of those that nobody else takes seriously.2 -
!Rant
Fun fact:
The SENIOR backend developer at the company I used to (as of today) work has a degree in economics and business and his only experience has been a trainee position.
No more startups please.... Seriously.... Just.... Don't... No... 😰😰😰😵😵5 -
Four beers with an expiry date of 2022. What do you do? Easy, drink three so you don't care about the expiry date of the fourth and enjoy.
Didn't tag it as joke because it's seriously what I just did12 -
Fuck you scp. I was uploading 6GB file to an EC2 server. Well, needless to say, "no space left on device" after all 6GB transferred was the biggest FUCK YOU moment. Seriously. Send the file size and check before you waste 30 minutes of my time. Oh, and don't read CLI command data as part of the transfer. You suck.8
-
Let's try this.
In the project I'm working there is an strict rule : NO COMMENTS!!!
I mean wth, the times I've spend hours trying to understand the crappy legacy code in VB.Net that has been there almost decades, that wouldn't happen with comments, I know i know there are some supernatural developers that think in binary and their eyes work as compilers, but I'm not like that, so seriously go to hell.
P.S. Of course I follow that rule, after all, my code is so damn perfect that even a baby can understand it.
jkundefined devops etiquette stupidest pichardo for president stupid stupider stupid stuff jk rant code smells comments3 -
Ow surprise surprise, ofcourse i don’t get any kind of salary increase at this fucking shit company im working at. Because nobody see’s the work i actually do and everyone is just guessing im eating out of my nose all day.
Seriously, i had to work 1.5 jobs because a colleage left but there is no credit for anything i do here. Friday im going to contact recruiters. Fk this shit!4 -
Im now working as a fulltime dev for 3 years. I do programming since im 9 and now that I collected some experience, I have to to say, its horrible. Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with german internship companys? Letting me do 3 years of FUCKING CRYSTAL REPORTS. IN A DEVELOPMENT TEAM THAT CONSISTS OF A TEAM LEAD THAT ACTUALLY HAS TO LEARN SHIT LIKE PROPER OOP AND ASYNC/AWAIT FROM ME. THEY EVEN ASKED ME IF I CAN DROP OF MY HOBBY PROJECTS TO WORK ON SAMPLES THAT THEY CAN LEARN FROM! NO! FUCK! JUST BECAUSE THESE DOUCHBAGS ARE TOO LAZY TO FUCKING LEARN TECHNOLOGY THEY SHOULD BE PASSIONATE ABOUT IN THEIR FREE TIME, IM NOT MAKING IT MY JOB TO FREAKING SHOW THEM THAT HAVING A STATIC CLASS CONTAINING ALL MODELS EVER EXISTED IN THE APP IS A BAD THING! SERIOUSLY, THERES ONLY ONE INSTANCE OF EVERY MODEL WE HAVE! AND THEN THEY BLAME SQL SERVER FOR RACE CONDITIONS WHEN TRYING ASYNC!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!! AND STILL, IF I TELL THEM WHATS WRONG, IM AN IDIOT BECAUSE IM A JUNIOR! Please tell me that i didnt waste 10 years of my life dedicating to such bullshit. Will that change? Is it company specific?9
-
Week 1 of the new job, and it seems I have some pretty low expectations to meet.
Seriously, I just did the math. Let's say one works an average of 48 hours per week, 50 weeks per year. Just as an average. That's 2400 hours in a year.
In the Micro-scale, a manager would mess up their team once every 2.4 hours (2h24m) or about 4 times per day (assuming 5 working days per week).
That is a pretty low bar to clear. It easy not to be an antsy brat that are-we-there-yet's a professional dev four fucking times a day.
And yet... that is what the complete moron who previously sat on my chair used to do.
Seriously, apparently he used to remote access the team's dev envs *while they were working* and even mess up some of their code. Just as a "monitoring measure". He logged their "keystroke time" in a day (using a primitive windowing method, I must add).
At least 7 requests for updates per person per day. I have his slack history, I checked. Dude literally did nothing else but be an annoying anxiety death pit.
And then there is his bulshit planning...
He created tasks out of his stupid whims, no team review or brainstorming, not even a fucking requisites tallying interview.
He prioritized those out-of-nowhere tasks using panic-driven-development practices and assigned them by availability heuristics.
No sizing method, just arbitrary deadlines for tasks.
I think I will need to have daily standup meetings and an open door policy (that is to say, do no actual work) for a couple months until I can instill some sense of autonomy on my new team. Shit.
Someone has another idea? How do I bring some confidence&autonomy back to devs that are used to be treated like dogs?!?7 -
For the love of all things sacred, put a damn space between your parentheses and whatever comes before/after them. It is totally not cool to read if(expression){}.
No, seriously, I mean that.11 -
I'm seriously working with a system that saves the password AND the confirm password In the database... varchar field, copied info, no wonders it takes half an hour to make query.10
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"Yes, the work could have finished way earlier. But it's easy, and I would have probably been bored of it and left earlier"
Finally got the reason why our fucking CTO couldn't create a fucking stable Backend for almost a year while the frontend team got all the slack because certain things are still not functioning well and while the marketing team every fucking time got their face red while showing the demo because the fucking api is not stable. Seriously, we wasted a whole year just because you could write something more interesting and enjoyable. Fuck you. Never been this willing to murder someone.
Context: A simple booking platform. No need for creating a complex distributed system while our userbase may not even be in million even on a peak season.
And he laughily commented maintaining it would be a headache.
I could seriously kill someone right now.2 -
I just came out of over 4 weeks of loneliness with no real life face to face interaction at all because of lockdown. The only time I saw another human being was when I went to the grocery store, but they were strangers.
Last few days, I started experiencing the side effects of having no real life social interaction.
My throat was getting constrained, it felt I had many things to speak and everything is stuck in throat. It felt as if my throat was choking me. I was feeling very stressed. It brought the flashbacks of the time when I was seriously depressed. I couldn't really sleep last night
Today, I decided to visit my close relatives, the place where I grew up, the place I find as my heaven on earth and I feel so much better just being in the presence of people who know me, whom I know since I born.
I don't know if anyone here experienced similar feelings. I wanted to share it here.2 -
Ok seriously is Microsoft mining Bitcoin on my computer? If I leave it idle for >5 minutes it starts using intense amounts of CPU and I have no clue why (doesn't show up in task manager, all the processes added up in taskmgr are like 15% max). It's super annoying since I have a razer and high cpu turns on BOTH VERY LOUD FANS.
I checked for malware and stopped any update or useless background tasks (cortana, indexing, etc) and it has not helped one bit. If I click the screen or move the mouse it subsides immediately.
(No, I won't get a mac--I have two and they lacks compatibility with the software I need as well as the specs for what I usually work with)13 -
Why the hell must Microsoft always be dickhead about the telemetry.
Take one beautiful NET.CORE. I make an app for myself, deploy it only to find out that those data-hungry arses have built-in default enabled telemetry and the only way to disable it is to set one dick-long env. variable:
DOTNET_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT="1"
Seriously ??
No way to exclude it completely, you have to sweat blood everywhere it runs.
Consent ? Hardly, just small line during installation...
I swear everything MS touches turns into spyware...1 -
FUUUUUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUCK ! Sorry I needed to let this out. I make extra hours since a few weeks and this only because 1. I'm the only dev of the team (will seriously need more people). 2. I have to manage people remotely which, as a 3 years old experienced dev, is not what I expect of my job. 3. I need to finish the job of an intern (not even her fault but de was asked to make powerpoints and stuffs instead of working on the module we need).
And today we just asked me if I can work on saturday. NO. I love (or used to?) my job but this can't last for ever.2 -
I am feeling little fucked up.
I talked to one of the female employees from my new company, I'll be joining next month.
She asked manager to hire a girl in the team, I know she casually asked but after knowing this, I know my interviews were surprisingly easy, I mean I know already that no one asked me to optimize anything... did the fucking hired me for diversity, pay is good, people are good, work is good but seriously if I'm getting hired for the fucking diversity my manager is going to have a good speech from me and I'll move from his team for sure.16