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Search - "why do you not know this?!"
-
My Friend: Dude our Linux Server is not working anymore!
Me: What? What did you do?
My friend: Nothing I swear!
Me: But you were last on it?
My friend: Yes. I just wanted to run a bash file and needed to give it permissions.
Me : WHAT DID YOU ENTER???!
My Friend: Chill man, just this command I found on the internet
chmod -R 600 /
chown -R root:root /
Me: WHY ARE YOU EVEN IN ROOT AND GOD DAMMIT WHY ARE YOU EVEN USING SOME RANDOM COMMAND FROM THE INTERNET. YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD NOT DO THIS OR JUST ASK!
My friend: Ok I did something wrong, how can I fix it?
Me: Did you make a backup or rsync of the server?
My friend: No. I just wanted to run this file.
Me: You holocausted the server. FUCK MY LIFE35 -
Hi, I am a Javascript apprentice. Can you help me with my project?
- Sure! What do you need?
Oh, it’s very simple, I just want to make a static webpage that shows a clock with the real time.
- Wait, why static? Why not dynamic?
I don’t know, I guess it’ll be easier.
- Well, maybe, but that’s boring, and if that’s boring you are not going to put in time, and if you’re not going to put in time, it’s going to be harder; so it’s better to start with something harder in order to make it easier.
You know that doesn’t make sense right?
- When you learn Javascript you’ll get it.
Okay, so I want to parse this date first to make the clock be universal for all the regions.
- You’re not going to do that by yourself right? You know what they say, don’t repeat yourself!
But it’s just two lines.
- Don’t reinvent the wheel!
Literally, Javascript has a built in library for t...
- One component per file!
I’m lost.
- It happens, and you’ll get lost managing your files as well. You should use Webpack or Browserify for managing your modules.
Doesn’t Javascript include that already?
- Yes, but some people still have previous versions of ECMAScript, so it wouldn’t be compatible.
What’s ECMAScript?
- Javascript
Why is it called ECMAScript then?
- It’s called both ways. Anyways, after you install Webpack to manage your modules, you still need a module and dependency manager, such as bower, or node package manager or yarn.
What does that have to do with my page?
- So you can install AngularJS.
What’s AngularJS?
- A Javascript framework that allows you to do complex stuff easily, such as two way data binding!
Oh, that’s great, so if I modify one sentence on a part of the page, it will automatically refresh the other part of the page which is related to the first one and viceversa?
- Exactly! Except two way data binding is not recommended, since you don’t want child components to edit the parent components of your app.
Then why make two way data binding in the first place?
- It’s backed up by Google. You just don’t get it do you?
I have installed AngularJS now, but it seems I have to redefine something called a... directive?
- AngularJS is old now, you should start using Angular, aka Angular 2.
But it’s the same name... wtf! Only 3 minutes have passed since we started talking, how are they in Angular 2 already?
- You mean 3.
2.
- 3.
4?
- 5.
6?
- Exactly.
Okay, I now know Angular 6.0, and use a component based architecture using only a one way data binding, I have read and started using the Design Patterns already described to solve my problem without reinventing the wheel using libraries such as lodash and D3 for a world map visualization of my clock as well as moment to parse the dates correctly. I also used ECMAScript 6 with Babel to secure backwards compatibility.
- That’s good.
Really?
- Yes, except you didn’t concatenate your html into templates that can be under a super Javascript file which can, then, be concatenated along all your Javascript files and finally be minimized in order to reduce latency. And automate all that process using Gulp while testing every single unit of your code using Jasmine or protractor or just the Angular built in unit tester.
I did.
- But did you use TypeScript?37 -
preface: I'm fucking exhausted and angry.
Why does everyone assume I know how to do frontend?
Why am I always the design girl?
Why?
You hire me to do backend. STOP GIVING ME FRONTEND DESIGN CRAP. I HATE IT.
AND STOP GODDAMN YELLING AT ME FOR NOT MAKING SOMETHING RESPONSIVE.
I DON'T KNOW HOW.
yes i can learn, but I CAN'T FUCKING PICK UP A SKILL LIKE THAT IN A DAY. Also, I fucking hate it.
STICK IT UP YOUR (min-width: 1400px) ASS.
But seriously, I've spent 13 hours today figuring out completely new things (webpack, susy, express.js, cloudinary, responsive best practices, more webpack) because the boss is in panic-mode (his preferred state) and wants this project released last monday.
guess what? it isn't done.
because i still don't know how to do everything. and ofc there's nobody to ask because there never fucking is.
Seriously, boss-man. hire a fucking designer, and stop being an illiterate sales goon while you're at it. ffs.54 -
This happened few hours ago.
Client: I received an email which says that I won 1 million dollars. They gave me a link in the email, when I entered my credit card details nothing happened.
Me: Wait what? You entered your credit card details.
Client: Yes
Me: That was a scam, you didn’t win anything. They stole your credit details. Contact your bank ASAP and let them know about this.
Client: You guys are handling our email servers, why can’t you guys keep it safe. What type of security do you guys provide.
Me: Wait what? We host your website application not email.
Client: Damn it. My son said the same thing, but I didn’t listen to him. Anyways Cheers.11 -
Management : "How long you think it would take?"
Me : "now this is a rough estimate, but I think building the back-end and database alone could take 6-months minimum"
Management : "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS"
me : "its a big proj..."
Management : "I thought it will be something like 10 days, already told the client it can be done"
me : "but we are not ready"
Management : "how are we not ready? we already have the virtual 3D shop, and we can use this ready-to-deploy eCommerce service as our data base "
... "you need to figure this out, this is not acceptable" he continued
* 2 Days Later -talking to my direct boss *
Boss : "since you don't know how to do it..."
me : "what ? I didn't say I can't do it, all I said it will take six months"
Boss : "yeah yeah, anyway there is this studio, a professional polish studio, we called them and they can do it, we will sign a contract with them, this will let you focus on the front-end. good?"
me : "well alright then"
Boss : "please write a doc, explaining everything needed from the backend"
-to me that was the end of it, took a long time to tell me they made the deal-
* 5 Months later *
- "Abdu, can you come here for a minute..."
- "yes boss?"
- "the document we asked you to do for the Polish studio, did you specify that we needed an integration with the API we are using for eCommerce?"
scared to death I answered : "why of course I did!"
I ran to my PC to check it out because I didn't know, I forgot because no one even comment on my doc. I check it out, and it was clearly explained... I got relaxed...
turns out they didn't even do what we asked them for. took them 5 months, and with no communication whatsoever. all their work was useless to us. complete dump waste.
----------------
never mentioned this until a year later... in a heat of moment when they were asking me to make an impossible task with no men and no time... I reminded them of this story... management didn't like it. but it was the truth. they didnt push this crazily this time13 -
Dev: this task is done, can I put it in review and do something else?
Me: sure, of course.
Dev: cool, just be aware I'll make some changes to it later.
Me: ... wait, then it's not done.
Dev: no it is, I just need to re-read it and make some changes.
Me: yeah, so it will be done when those changes are made.
Dev: but I don't know what those changes are.
Me: ... I get that ... but ... ok I'm extremely confused. Why do you think it's done.
Dev: because I've written everything I need to and I'm happy with it.
Me: ok so why do you want to make changes.
Dev: I don't.
Me: ... ... ... ... you ... you are really not being clear. If you don't want to make changes, and you are happy with it, why are you planning on making changes later ... after marking the task as done.
Dev: well if I re-read it and see something I don't like, I would like to change it.
Me: ok, so re-read it as many times as you like and make as many changes as you like. But don't mark it as done until it is done.
Dev: but it is done.
Me: no it's not.
Dev: it is, look.
Me: ... yeah looks ok at a quick glance.
Dev: ok so I can mark it as done?
Me: are you going to make more changes?
Dev: yes.
Me: then no.
Dev: why?
Me: BECAUSE ITS NOT DONE.
Dev: ok maybe I'm not explaining it clearly.
Me: ... we can both agree on that. Ok so to summarise, we don't mark something as done until we have stopped touching it. We don't half finish something and say it's done and comeback to it later. We mark it as done when we are happy with i.....
Dev: but I am happ.....
Me: *raises hand* I repeat, if it's done, we lock it away and stop touching it. If someone reads it and complains, we can come back to it with a new ticket. But it's not done until we think we are ready to send it on.
Dev: I am ready to send it, I just may want to change it.
Me: ... ... ... ... ... due to a new policy implemented just now, we are only allowed to send 1 email to a person each week. So unfortunately we can only send on 1 copy. So when you have that 1 copy, let me know.
Dev: ok, let me re-read it a few more times then.
Me: there you go.32 -
An open letter to the guy that commented on my website:
«Function X does not work. This program is shit. I am going to uninstall it and tell everyone.»
I'm sorry that my completely open source project didn't work for you. The fact that I lost countless days and months and years working on it in my free time, without ever asking for a cent, just trying to do something good for the community, doesn't give me the right to release a feature that may be buggy.
You could have opened a bug report. But that takes time. A whole 2 minutes. I understand the urge to post such a harsh public critic on my website. That's why I was so calm and understanding when I replied to you there.
However, it's a long time I wasn't browsing devRant and I confess I felt the urge to tell you to go fuck yourself. And this is the best place to do it! I'd pay to know you. I'd love to see your face. Oooh you must be so confident of yourself. I'm sure you have accomplished a lot in your life. So here's my message:
Go Fuck Yourself Asshole10 -
Linux sucks.
Now now, chill. I'm using it as my main OS for a few years now. I know what I'm talking and this title is a bit click-baity, but this just has to go out there:
1. It's usable as a Windows replacement just fine - FALSE. XFCE4 is years old and buggy as hell especially on multi-monitor set-up, Gnome3 gets stuck more often than my Windows 98 machine used to, KDE is like a rich kid on meth. Plug in Bluetooth headphones? Well no, sorry, you have to research that online, since you'll probably need to install some packages for it to work. Did I say "work"? Well no, because after more research you realize that Debian on Gnome3 on gdm3 launches pulseaudio on its own, so you have 2 instances of pulseaudio, and one of them is stealing your headphones sometimes and you either have no sound or shitty sound. How do I know that you ask? The same way I know everything else - every time you try to do something new on any Linux, it involves a ton of research. Exciting research, don't get me wrong, but at this point it looks more like a toy than a reliable desktop computer operating system.
2. And why am I using pulseaudio? Why not alsa? years ago people were discussing on forums that pulseaudio is old and dead, yet here we are with new LTS release of Ubuntu still shining with Pulseaudio. How about several different service management systems being deprecated by new ones, each having different configurations and calling methods? Apparently systemd is old and lame now. It's a mix of 10 year old software that works badly, with a 5 year old replacement that works worse, somehow trying to live under the same roof. Does it work? Ask my headphones who sound like a fucking dial-up modem.
3. Let's talk about displays, shall we? xorg is old and deprecated, right? We got Wayland that's mostly stable. Don't know what that is? That's just basic knowledge for Linux. And when you try to install network-manager, it also tries to install Mir toolkits. Because why the fuck not install 3 display managers when you want a network manager, of which one is old and dying, one is young and stupid, and another is an infant that died of cancer?
4. Want to integrate with Google Drive? Yeah, there's a tool that mounts the drive as a local directory. Yeah only for Ubuntu. Want it on Debian? You need to compile it. Oh wait, it's on Ocaml, because fuck mainstream languages, we're hipsters. How do you compile Ocaml? Well you need to have Ocaml on your system, dummy. How do you do that? Well you need to compile Ocaml. Ok, how do I do that? Well, git clone, download and install some dependencies, configure, make... oh sorry, you're using libssl1.0.2g when you need libssl1.0.1f, nope, sorry, won't work. Want to install libssl1.0.1f? Why? You already have the "g", stupid! Want to remove libssl1.0.2g? Bye-bye literally everything that you have on your PC. But at least you got the "f". Does it work now? Well no, because you need libssl1.0.2g for another dependency to work.
And all I ever wanted was to get a fucking document from google drive (not nudes, I promise).
5. Want to watch a movie? Let me tear that screen in half and make the bottom half late by a couple of frames, because who needs vertical sync, right? Oh you do? Well install the native drivers maybe. Oh you have? Welcome to eternal Boot to Recovery mode, motherfucka!
---------------------------------
Yeah, most of the times things work just fine. But the reason I know what those things are and how they work is not curiosity. The reason that I know the inner workings of Linux much better than the inner workings of Windows, is because in those few years that I've been using it full time, it has caused me 10 times more headache than I have ever experienced with other systems. And it's not the usual annoyances like "OMG it rebooted when I didn't ask it to", but more like "Oh, it won't work and I need 2 days to find out why" kind of stuff, because even if you experience the same thing again, it's always caused by some new shit and the old solution won't work any more.
I still love it, and will continue to use it. I don't know why really. Maybe because I'm not afraid of fucking it up any more? Maybe because I can do what I want in it and recovering will be easier than on Windows?
It's a toy for me, after all these years. And I also use it for professional reasons.
But whenever someone presents it as a better alternative to Windows, I just want to puke.51 -
A small story on digitalization
I had spent an hour in the bank with my dad, as he had to transfer some money. I couldn't resist myself & asked:
Dad, why don't we activate your internet banking?
''Why would I do that?'' He asked, ''Well, then you wont have to spend an hour here for things like transfer.
You can even do your shopping online. Everything will be so easy!
I was so excited about initiating him into the world of Net banking.
He asked, If I do that, I wont have to step out of the house?
''Yes, yes''! I said. I told him how even grocery can be delivered at door now and how amazon delivers everything!
His answer left me tongue-tied.
He said ''Since I entered this bank today, I have met four of my friends, I have chatted a while with the staff who know me very well by now.
Two years back I got sick, The store owner from whom I buy fruits, came to see me and sat by my bedside and cried.
When u r Mom fell down few days back while on her morning walk. Our local grocer saw her and immediately got his car to rush her home as he knows where I live.
Would I have that 'human' touch if everything became online?
I like to know the person that I'm dealing with and not just the 'seller'. It creates bonds. Relationships.
Does "online" deliver all this as well?
Technology isn't life #BeHuman
For those who are not getting the context, this things happen in India. It is truth not a fact.19 -
Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.
Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.
Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.
Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.
Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?
Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.
Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!
Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.
Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.
Me: FML18 -
My mentor/guider at my last internship.
He was great at guiding, only 1-2 years older than me, brought criticism in a constructive way (only had a very tiny thing once in half a year though) and although they were forced to use windows in a few production environments, when it came to handling very sensitive data and they asked me for an opinion before him and I answered that closed source software wasn't a good idea and they'd all go against me, this guy quit his nice-guy mode and went straight to dead-serious backing me up.
I remember a specific occurrence:
Programmers in room (under him technically): so linuxxx, why not just use windows servers for this data storage?
Me: because it's closed source, you know why I'd say that that's bad for handling sensitive data
Programmers: oh come on not that again...
Me: no but really look at it from my si.....
Programmers: no stop it. You're only an intern, don't act like you know a lot about thi....
Mentor: no you shut the fuck up. We. Are. Not. Using. Proprietary. Bullshit. For. Storing. Sensitive. Data.
Linuxxx seems to know a lot more about security and privacy than you guys so you fucking listen to what he has to say.
Windows is out of the fucking question here, am I clear?
Yeah that felt awesome.
Also that time when a mysql db in prod went bad and they didn't really know what to do. Didn't have much experience but knew how to run a repair.
He called me in and asked me to have a look.
Me: *fixed it in a few minutes* so how many visitors does this thing get, few hundred a day?
Him: few million.
Me: 😵 I'm only an intern! Why did you let me access this?!
Him: because you're the one with the most Linux knowledge here and I trust you to fix it or give a shout when you simply can't.
Lastly he asked me to help out with iptables rules. I wasn't of much help but it was fun to sit there debugging iptables shit with two seniors 😊
He always gave good feedback, knew my qualities and put them to good use and kept my motivation high.
Awesome guy!4 -
So I have been temporarily assigned to new team .. moving from mainly backend.. to help the Web team ..
Me .: Aight guys .. what we working with ?
Team: MVC .net
Me: awesome ..
Team: but we have our own version of MVC .
Me : 🤔 your own MVC ?
Team: yeh we only buse controllers.. but no models at all ?
Me.: 😲 So where does the view gets its data from ?
Team : from Azure functions apps.
M: how ?
T: ( in very proud tone ) .. we use js to call all functions.
M: so why not just use HTML pages . Why MVC then !
T: coz MVC is modern architecture design.
M: but you not using it and all of calles to the functions are exposed publicly.
T: 🧐 THIS IS MODERN DESIGN !!
M: 🤪 My bad .. what the hell do I know ! I only been developing MVC applications for 7 years !!
Please tell me more about your " Modern Design "
🤮🤮🤮25 -
At the beginning of an interview...
HR girl: You know, that position you applied is already taken but I found some similar in our company.
Me: Uhm, ok?
HRG: What about this one? It's some programming... *pointing at some IT position regarding db maintenance* Do you want to try that?
Me: Sure, why not.
I was applying to student position at embedded firmware development at the time. I did some school project with MySQL but it was few years back and I happily forgot most about it.
Anyway, story continues.
IT manager: Hi, I heard you want to join our lines.
Me: That is what I heard as well.
IT: Eh?
Me: I came for completely different position actually.
IT: Uhm, ok. We have standardised test, let's see what you can do.
It was some basic stuff for db guys but I was totally lost. I was done after 3 minutes returning nearly blank paper.
We shaked hands, both agreed this is not well fit for me and I went away.
After this botched attempt HR girl remembered that there is another team looking for embedded developer students. I was accepted.
Corporates are marvelous.3 -
Client: Our meeting is going to be on March 27th at 9am. Clear your schedules and add it to your calendar.
Me: I'm not sure why this wasn't cleared with me, but I'm 3 hours behind you guys and that will be 6am for me. If you want to have a meeting at that time, I'll be sleeping.
Client: We start our days early, so we need you to make yourself available at that time. We have other stuff on our agenda so this is the time it will be taking place.
Me: I will not, repeat will not be available at that time. I have the 29th and 30th available at that time, but any day before that will have to be scheduled at 1pm or later. Mondays however are a no go. We have standing appointments on Mondays that we cannot reschedule.
Client: Monday, April 2nd at 9am is the new time. Please clear that time.
Our Company owner: we just said Mondays are a no go.
Client: we're getting frustrated that you are not being flexible with your schedule. Here is what you are going to do. Give us a calendar with every day and time you have available and we'll tell you what works.
Owner: We just gave you a bunch of dates. We're the ones trying to be flexible while you've been dictating what time's we've been available. That's not how this works. Mondays aren't happening. The 27th isn't happening because I'm not going to expect my developer to get up at 6am because it's convenient for you. This is a not a one way street. Let us know when you're ready to find a date and time that works for all of us.
----
This is the same guy I argue with on a daily basis and tell to fuck off when he's being a douche, but when it matters, he's pretty badass dude.8 -
"Personalized Advertisements":
No Amazon, I'm not interested in buying any of these phones, I just bought a new one five days ago, remember? You sold it to me! And stop recommending the same book I already got five YEARS ago!
YouTube, why are you always showing me the same ad about an app I already own and use regularly? And why the FUCK do I you show me the new trailer of Star Wars Ep8 as an ad video before the actual video of the new Star Wars Ep8 trailer?
Audi, I am an university student, barely able to pay my rent, why are you telling me to buy your newest car? How do you expect me to afford this?
Monster, why exactly are you showing me job offers as "Technical Product Designer at company X" for which I'm not remotely qualified or even interested in?
Neither do I have 5000£ (I live in Germany, at least match the currency, ffs) to invest in some suspiciously promising stock market schemes, nor am I in any need of rheumatism pills or a hearing aid (I am 19). I cannot afford or want any Rolex watches and PLEASE, I don't know why you think I would, but I really do not need a special new and innovative brand of tampons, my dick is doing fine, thanks.
"Hot local singles near {my actual location} want to fuck!
Click here!!!"
At least there are still some ads you can trust to be relevant...14 -
I’ve been told my rants are being missed, since I left my hellhole of a job. So here’s a filler until something major goes wrong.
Right so here’s what my life is like at the minute. I’m working remotely from home. So this morning, instead of spending 2 hours in traffic, I got up at a reasonable hour and brought the dog for a walk. I don’t know who these people think they are, fucking up my routine like this. The audacity of them thinking it’s no big deal really pisses me off.
I’m the only iOS developer in the company. Normally I get bombarded with “why not use react-native” or “RxSwift is the future” and other shitty tools. Last week I said “i’d like to do X this way”. Do you know what those absolute bastards said to me? You ready? Hope you are sitting down ... they said ... “ok, sounds good” .... the fucking c***s.
Oh oh and the big one, wait for this now. Fridays are demo days, last Friday I showed what I was working on. Afterwards the CEO comes along, stares me in the eyes and without a care in the world what his comments might do to my self-esteem the fucker says “wow great job”. He fucking makes me SICK!!!
Feels good to get all that off my chest. I’ve missed venting. At this rate, I’ll be back very soon!9 -
I'm a little late to this, but that Python master/slave issue.. what the fuck is up with that?!
You say that you're offended by words.
=> Fuck off. If you want to serve social justice, help people in third-world countries that need your help.
=> Also, you do realize that the use of master/slave is just as much applicable to technology as client/server or host/guest are, right? It's a relationship between fucking machines or code blocks, not humans.
You say "why the outrage over this?"
=> Fuck off. Your SJW bullshit has no place in technology. It's a fucking word in fucking code!!!
You say that you're improving the Python project with this.
=> Fuck off. It breaks existing documentation and needlessly abstracts terminology that is used pretty much everywhere. What do you prefer, conciseness and a language to be easy to understand or for it to become all cushioned to soothe your frail feelings?
You know, there's something else that I wanted to talk about that's related to this. I have Asperger Syndrome, which on paper is a disability. In practice it's difficulty to socialize while having an above average IQ. That "disability" is what drove me into technology. When I see job listings actively prefer people with disabilities for social justice, you know what? That offends ME. Because I wouldn't want to be chosen as the best applicant just because it ticks social justice boxes. I want to be chosen as the best applicant because I outcompeted every other applicant with actual skill and fitness to do my job.
Also, when a company sells you a defective unit, would you be happy? Of course not. So why are you happy when they employ a defective? I am someone that would - on paper - be impeded by natural selection, because I am "handicapped". But I'm all for it. Humanity is what it is today - shit - partly because defectives have become widely accepted into society. Call me a bigot, but I'd rather be called that than to not raise concerns about this trend.
On the subject of handicaps, that's a term that's used in games, what for aiding the player that can't win against the regular opponent (which is usually just a fucking bot, wtf yo). I am handicapped, therefore YOU shouldn't use the word in a sense where it's totally reasonable to use it!! Says no one ever, me neither. Grow a fucking pair and realize that code isn't written with the intent to offend anyone. So why are you?23 -
I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BUSINESS MOTHERFUCKERS USING TECHNICAL FUCKING BUZZWORDS LIKE THEY KNOW SHIT ABOUT TECH! THEY TRY TO BE FUCKING SMARTASSES AND ARGUE WITH DEVELOPERS LIKE GOD KNOWS WHY THIS FUCKING DOUCHE IS NOT THROWN IN /dev/null YET!
Ugh. He try to sound smart and argued with a unity game developer why the dev is not using "react" and "redux" in his game, purely because "since its the hype in 2016"... I was like really nigga?? FOR FUCKS SAKE Do some research before you say! Then he argued with a senior full-stack web developer on why they're using ES6 and not ES7, purely because he heard that ES7 is newer. When we try to explain we're not using decorator syntaxes since we use pure functions in our codebase, or how we haven't installed any ES7 babel plugins to transpile our code, he kept saying ES7 is newer and cooler and we must use it somehow... More to rant but i am fucking tired right now...14 -
Years ago I was an application developer at a medium sized corporation and was also responsible for support for an HR department. This occurred early one morning shortly after I arrived at work.
User: My app doesn't work.
Me: What's wrong with it?
User: I just get a blank screen.
Me: A blank screen? What happens when you hit a key?
User: Nothing.
Me: Do any apps work?
User: No, I just get a blank screen.
Me: Is your monitor on?
User: Yes, I turned it on.
This type of witty banter went on for several minutes when the answer suddenly hit me.
Me: Is your computer turned on?
User: Do I need to turn it on?
Me: Did you turn it off before you went home last night?
User: Yes.
Me: And do you normally turn it on in the morning when you come in?
User: Yes.
Me: Then why didn't you turn it on this morning when you came in?
User: I didn't know I needed to.
It was at this point I heard the programmer over the cubicle wall from me burst out laughing. He had been listening to the conversation and couldn't take it anymore.
The really sad part is that this was not an isolated incident. This kind of stuff occurred on a semi-regular basis with this individual's department.10 -
I actually hate this job, seems like there's not a single project with decent code abstraction. Everything is a fucking spaghetti like:
```
// we only care about e-mail fields, which are odd
isValid(index) {
if(!(index%2)) {
return true;
}
...
}
```
Like MOTHERFUCKER, WHAT BUSINESS RULE DOES THIS SHITCODE REFLECTS?!?! WHY CAN'T YOU SHITHEADS WRITE PROPER BUSINESS ABSTRACTION RATHER THAN JUST COLLEGE-GRADUATE QUALITY SHITCODE.
FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY I SHOULD HAVE INSTEAD BECAME A PSYCHIC CAUSE I'M SURELY GOOD AT GUESSING WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK THIS FUCKING FUCKCODE INTENDS TO ACHIEVE.
AND YOU CALL YOURSELF TOP-NOTCH DEV CAUSE THIS IS JAVASCRIPT... YOU KNOW WHAT, SHITHEADS LIKE YOU, WHO DON'T KNOW SHIT OTHER THAN GLOBALLING EVERY FUCKING NPM LOCAL PACKAGE IS WHY GOOD ENGINEER LIKE US GET SHIT FROM PHPEPSI ZENDFRAMESHIT FUCKHEADS DEVS.
DO YOU THINK YOUR COMMENT WAS HELPFUL??? DO I LOOK LIKE A BUSINESS GRADUATE FUCKTARD WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THE MODULE OPERATOR IS??? I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU WROTE THAT SHITFUCK INSTEAD OF WHAT IT DOES; THE REASON I'M READING YOUR POORLY WRITTEN MODULE OPERATOR SOAP-OPERA IN THE FIRST PLACE IS CAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT'S DOING, IT'S BREAKING SHIT.
OH AND ONE MORE THING, FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCKSHIT SHITFUCK FUCk11 -
Shopping for fridge with sister in law.
"Yeah that one is nice but it doesn't have an app"
"Why do you need an app for your fridge"
"I don't know, but this other fridge has an app, so I think if it doesn't have an app it's not that good"
"But it's very energy-efficient, silent and spacious. The one with the app is the same size, has a worse energy rating, is noisier and is more expensive as well"
"Yeah I know but if there's no extra features that's kind of boring"
"You are everything that's wrong with modern consumers"28 -
Holy fucking shit.
Why do people always expect you to know absolutely everything the second they ask?!
PM: "Yes yes of course we can do that!!! We've done it a million times, we do it for breakfast HAHAHAHAHA"
ME: "Well not really, we've never implemented a solution like that one, its gonna take some time to figure it out"
PM: "HAAAAHAHAHA HE'S SOO FUNNYY LMAOFUDKSJ DONT WORRY WELL HAVE IT READY FOR TOMMORROW :P".
Holy fuuuck I understand you wanna make the sell but you need to give the costumer a realistic look at things, at least give a reasonable deadline for what he's asking! FFS ASK ME HOW COMPLICATED ARE THE THINGS HES ASKING FOR BEFORE TELLING HIM WHEN THEY'RE GONNA BE READY! MAKE A FUCKING ESTIMATE, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A TEAM!
Oh and this rant is gonna happen, dont care if I get fired.This needs to change.3 -
Storytime!
This customer comes in and practically throws a computer on the counter.
Customer: This computer isn't working. I've ran the diagnostics and it says it's software. *places a dvd case with a 32 bit Windows 7 disk in it on the counter* It had Windows 10 on it, but I want Windows 7 on it.
Me: Well, you may have issues with the drivers if you put Windows 7 on it--
Customer: I don't care, I just want Windows 7.
Me: You SHOULD care. That means no wifi, no display, no mouse... Windows 7 doesn't like Windows 10 hardware.
Customer: Then... check to see Windows 7 compatibility!
Me: Alright.... *makes notes to check for Windows 7 compatibility*
Me: So has this Windows 7 been used before?
Customer: Yes, it has.
Me: On how many computers?
Customer: I've installed it on two computers and it works just fine.
Me: That's weird because Windows license keys are for one computer only. Are both of them connected to the internet?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Well, okay then... *finishes up ticket*
Customer: I work in this field and I just don't understand why they don't come with the disks anymore. How much is a Windows 10 disk?
Me: *gives price*
Customer: And do you have any?
Me: Let me check *I go to where they are, find some and come back out*
Me: Unfortunately we're out at the moment and would have to special order some back in.
Customer: OK. So then how much to fix this computer?
Me: *price of installing Windows and backing up data*
Customer: That's halfway to the price of a new one of these!
Me: Well yes, an HP at Walmart... But you do have that option if you want to take it.
Customer: Well, why does it cost that much?
Me: Well, it's $labor1 to install Windows, $labor2 to do some basic setup and drivers, and $labor3 to backup and restore data.
Customer: Oh, well I don't want data.
Me: Okay, well then it would be $total - $labor3
Customer: ...Okay, fine
Me: *updates the ticket*
When she finally left I put it on the bench and the first message said "SMART ERROR." I then did 4 different tests that said "lol, the hard drive is failing."
If you "worked in this field," you would know that a SMART error is hard drive related.
If you worked in this field, you would know that Windows is only a 1PC license, so why are you lying about installing it with no issues on other computers?
If you worked in this field, you would know you would want a 64bit Windows on your computer.
If you worked in this field, you would know how to find a Windows 10 installation media online.
If you worked in this field, you would know that HPs are not good computers to get.
IF YOU FUCKING WORKED IN THIS FIELD YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT.17 -
So Last year December my cousin see's me making a basic 3D game in Unity and says he wants to do programming.
Me: No, you don't want that. Become a doctor like your parents want you two.
Him: I'll do it.
Me: Ok. If you want to suffer, i'll teach you some basic C#
Me: *Shows him basic C# code in visual studio*
Him: *Not paying attention* Cool. When can i make games?
Me: That's not how this works. Where do you intend to study?
Him: M.I.T!
Me: You better get your ass infront of that fucken computer, google and youtube the shit out of you, matter of fact i'll get you a shit bucket so you don't have to get up.
Him: I don't have to go so hard now, i'm only 16.
Me: *Facepalm* That's why you have to do this now.
...7 months later...
(Yesterday)
Me: Show me how you make a basic calculator application.
Him: I don't know how to do that, you didn't show me.
Me: *laughing*
Him: Whats so funny?
Me: You're screwed *still laughing*
Don't get me wrong. He's a smart kid. Just needs to fucken do something if he wants his goal.13 -
curl cheat.sh — get an instant answer to any question on (almost) any programming language from the command line
tldr
do curl cht.sh/go/execute+external+program to see how to execute external program in go
And this question: why I actually should I start the browser, and the browser has to downloads tons of JS, CSS and HTML, render them thereafter, only to show me some small output,
some small text, number or even some plot. Why can't I do a trivial query from the command line
and instantly get what I want?
I decided to create some service that will work as I think such a service should work.
And that is how wttr.in was created.
Nowadays you probably know, how to check the weather from the command line, but if not:
curl wttr.in
or
curl wttr.in/Paris
(curl wetter in Paris if you want to know the weather in Paris)
After that several other services were created (the point was to check how good the console
can solve the task, so I tried to create services providing information
of various nature: text, numbers, plots, pseudo graphic etc.):
curl rate.sx/btc # to check exchange rate of any (crypto)currency
curl qrenco.de/google.com # to QRenco.de any text
And now last but not least, the gem in this collection: cheat.sh.
The original idea behind the service was just to deliver a various UNIX/Linux command line cheat sheets via curl. There are several beautiful community driven cheat sheet repositories such as tldr, but the problem is that to use them you have to install them first, and it is quite often that you have no time for it, you just want to quickly check some cheat sheet.
With cheat.sh you don't need to install anything, just do:
curl cheat.sh/tar (or whatever)
you will get a cheat sheet for this command (if such cheat sheet exists inf one of the most popular community-driven cheat sheet repositories; but it surely does).
But then I thought: why actually show only existing cheat sheets? Why not generate cheat sheets or better to say on the fly? And that is how the next major update of cheat.sh was created.
Now you can simply do:
curl cht.sh/python/copy+files
curl cht.sh/go/execute+external+program
curl cht.sh/js/async+file+read
or even
curl cht.sh/python/копировать+файл
curl cht.sh/ruby/Datei+löschen
curl cht.sh/lua/复制文件
and get your question answered
(cht.sh is an alias for cheat.sh).
And it does not matter what language have you used to ask the question. To be short, all pairs (human language => programming language) are supported.
One very important major advantage of console oriented interfaces is that they are easily
programmable and can be easily integrated with various systems.
For example, Vim and Emacs plugins were created by means of that you can
query the service directly from the editor so that you can just write your
questions in the buffer and convert them in code with a keystroke.
The service is of course far from the perfection,
there are plenty of things to be fixed and to be implemented,
but now you can see its contours and see the contours of this approach,
console oriented services.
The service (as well as the other mentioned above services) is opensource, its code is available here:
https://github.com/chubin/cheat.sh
What do you think about this service?
What do you think about this approach?
Have you already heard about these services before?
Have you used them?
If yes, what do you like about them and what are you missing?26 -
So a fucking friend of mine makes me meet this fella who is a big shot according to his LinkedIn and please note has too much experience with Web Apps and Python
Me being naive actually trusted that and I meet him.
Fella: So what do you do?
Me: I am into Cyber Security nothing much I just do bug hunting for now
Fella: You know python will help you right?
Me: Sorry?
Fella: You see you have to be a python programmer for anything you want to do in CS
Me: Me yeah I kinda know python actually I am more into Ruby from start so ( Around this time I kinda sensed that he is a fake tech guy he is a corporate asshole)
Fella: show me any of your work
Me: (So to show him one of the thing I was working on I open GitHub desktop app) Me explaining blah blah blah
*Fella is in shock*
So at this point I was thinking probably he is impressed and that's why the shock right?
No a big fucking no
Apparently he never heard about GitHub or git and got blown away by the interface.
And the friend who made me meet that guy is not my fucking friend anymore that prick can die for ruining my day18 -
Smart India Hackathon: Horrible experience
Background:- Our task was to do load forecasting for a given area. Hourly energy consumption data for past 5 years was given to us.
One government official asks the following questions:-
1. Why are you using deep learning for the project? Why are you not doing data analysis?
2. Which neural network "algorithm" you are using? He wanted to ask which model we are using, but he didn't have a single clue about Neural Networks.
3. Why are you using libraries? Why not your own code?
Here comes the biggest one,
4. Why haven't you developed your own "algorithm" (again, he meant model)? All you have done is used sone library. Where is "novelty" in your project?
I just want to say that if you don't know anything about ML/AI, then don't comment anything about it. And worst thing was, he was not ready to accept the fact that for capturing temporal dependencies where underlying probability distribution ia unknown, deep learning performs much better than traditional data analysis techniques.
After hearing his first question, second one was not a surprise for us. We were expecting something like that. For a few moments, we were speechless. Then one of us started by showing neural network architecture. But after some time, he rudely repeated the same question, "where is the algorithm". We told him every fucking thing used in the project, ranging from RMSprop optimizer to Backpropagation through time algorithm to mean squared loss error function.
Then very calmly, he asked third question, why are you using libraries? That moron wanted us to write a whole fucking optimized library. We were speechless at this question. Finally, one of us told him the "obvious" answer. We were completely demotivated. But it didnt end here. The real question was waiting. At the end, after listening to all of us, he dropped the final bomb, WHY HAVE YOU USED A NEURAL NETWORK "ALGORITHM" WHICH HAS ALREADY BEEN IMPLEMENTED? WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE YOU OWN "ALGORITHM"? We again stated the obvious answer that it takes atleast an year or two of continuous hardwork to develop a state of art algorithm, that too when gou build it on top of some existing "algorithm". After listening to this, he left. His final response was "Try to make a new "algorithm"".
Needless to say, we were completely demotivated after this evaluation. We all had worked too hard for this. And we had ability to explain each and every part of the project intuitively and mathematically, but he was not even ready to listen.
Now, all of us are sitting aimlessly, waiting for Hackathon to end.😢😢😢😢😢25 -
I've had this twice in a very short period of time now and it really pisses me the fuck off.
Sitting in the train (I think the grammatically correct version is on the train but no that would be a little too dangerous for me I think), on my phone devRanting/Signalling/Rioting around when an an elderly person says (aiming towards me):
"Oh, youngsters and their technology, where has socializing gone? Why are you people always on your phones? Go socialize sometimes!"
Excuse me but fuck right off.
Because you know what, I am currently socializing.
Just not in the way you are used to or maybe even 'okay with'.
I'm talking with friends from all around the world (Signal + Riot), participating in interesting discussions (on here) and what not.
I do have very strict rules for myself though. When in company with people I am actually going to socialize with or when hanging out with friends, the phone goes the fuck away unless I NEED to be reachable.
But I'm on a fucking train with people I don't know and frankly I'm done with socializing for the day as I've had to hear (often stupid) people asking for help all day long.
Next to that, I don't know you, you don't know me, who am I to judge you? I'm not going to socialize with anyone here anyways and even if they'd like to, I'm fucking done with people for to-fucking-day.
Sincerely fuck off please.11 -
Real Story:
Manager: You have to add an extra section in the app to show more details.
Me: We are already showing so many unnecessary details. These changes are not required.
Manager: No !! You have to do it.
Me : Ok !!! So why can't we show it in the section where we are showing the other details. Why make a separate section for it.
Manager : No !! It won't be clearly visible to the user. Just do it.
So I added another section to show useless information that we are already showing it f**king everywhere else in the app.
So I released a new apk next day with the added features.
In meeting, our CTO goes through the app and ask manager....
" Why we have added an extra section for showing same details that we are showing everywhere else ???
Who approved this ?? This is nonsense !!! "
Here comes the fun part.
Manager : I don't know. I didn't ask for it. These changes were not there earlier.
And ask me.
"Who told you to make these changes ? "
I am like... F***k man you a***ole told me to do it even when i told you it will be nonsense.12 -
Wrote my friend Sam a letter when I was still working in support. I think it still holds up today.
---
Dear Sam,
I understand that you will join us in our overseas office. Congratulations on landing that job. It’s good steady work. I’ve been doing it for the last ten years.
Your still young so maybe I can give you some little wisdom that will help you in your working years to come.
Let me begin by shedding some light on phone calls.
I try. I really do try Sam. But it is getting so hard for me to hold back the rage that builds up during certain phone calls. Especially the ‘Sorry, I just don’t know anything about computers! -giggle-’ ones.
Those are the times that I have no access to what they see. I’ve no team-viewer, can not take over that screen in any other way. And why-oh-why can I not take over that terminal session dear Sam? It’s because the caller can not double-click an icon or find a terminal session number.
And what is the reason for this? Because they ‘just don’t know anything about computers! -giggle-’. This is a sort of get-out-of-jail-free card. Beware of these callers Sam.
There is nothing so nerve-wrecking then finding yourself at the mercy of people describing Internet Explorer (do not even get me started) as ‘the big ‘E’, if they use Chrome for their webmail then they most likely will say ‘Mail’ if they mean Chrome. There is no logic Sam. That is just the way these people work.
They will suck all enjoyment out of your work. They will make you want to hunt them down in dark office hallways and show them your tears Sam. Because cry you will.
Sure, I understand that not everyone can be tech savvy. Why, if everyone would be, where would that leave us? No. I love the technologically challenged. They put the fiber in my internet. They make me LOL for real. After the initial anger subsides anyway.
But just below that well-willing folk, on the other side of that border… there they dwell: Management.
Nice cars, suits and iphones Sam. First thing a new manager will require is a brand spanking new business-card. It will hold his/her new title. Then an iphone or overpriced android model will follow suit.
Then they will barge into your office, holding it like it’s the next best thing since sliced bread.
Any manager will automatically assume that you will drop anything you are doing at the present moment to acknowledge the presence of greatness. Failing to do so will result in awkward yet fulfilling situations. I recommend that you do not take your hands of the keyboard and give only the slightest of nods after 5 minutes of complete silence and glaring.
Well… you feel the glare. You do not glare yourself. You do not break eye-contact with the monitor. It does not even matter if you are typing for real or not. I once clicked away happily for 5 minutes. I just typed ‘he is still there’ over and over again. Do not break down Sam. This moment will decide your relationship with this individual.
After the nod there will be a flood of words aimed in your general direction. You can disregard anything that is said. It boils down to ‘can not operate device’.
You then take the device from this person and put it next to you on your desk. You’ll ask the name of this simpleton, write it down on a sticky-note, slap that on the phone. Then you’ll write a random date in the not so near future on another sticky and hand that to the bewildered person in front of you.
It will usually utter some incoherent words about ‘needing, time or but’ (I find that ‘but’is a word they like. They tend to use it three or four times consecutive before you usher them through the door).
Now you’ve won Sam. Well… not really. But it will feel good, I can guarantee that.
This must do for now. A new suit is glaring at me for the last five minutes.
Felt good to do something productive with this time.
Take care,
Baltasar
P.s. I just noticed that there is some foam around his mouth. So if you encounter this, don’t worry: it seems to be perfectly normal.13 -
Aaaah...I just got back from a meeting because of a production data problem caused by an analyst who keeps making mistakes that screw up client data. I wrote a program to automate most of it and everybody initially accused me of having a buggy program, only to find out she wasn't using it, never did.
"Why aren't you using the program then?" was asked. "Oh, well, I just understand my way better," she replies, "When I make a mistake at least I understand why."
Pause....
"Then, um, if you know you're making a mistake, why don't you fix it?"
"Because my process is so manual and labor intensive sometimes it's not worth it to go back and fix it, because I'd have to do everything over again, and you guys are much better at fixing this stuff than I am."
I indicated that everyone is too busy to stop and fix her mistakes, to which she then asks:
"So if you can't fix my mistakes, what am I supposed to do?"7 -
Fuck those useless calls!
PM: customer X wants a call in an hour.
Me: they didn't send emails before. No questions, no prep, no call.
PM: yeah but they want to talk.
Me: these unprepared calls are pointless. I'll be sitting there, noting down the questions and telling them I'll have to look up the details.
PM: shall I tell them that you don't want to talk to them?
Me: I don't care, it's your call, do whatever you want.
PM: that's not professional.
Me: oh you're calling it professional to sit there with a pencil, writing down crap or what?
PM: what's the problem?!
Me: I've had this shit for the last two fucking calls, and they were so unprepared that they wasted half of the call just reading up, and I'm fed up with this shit!
PM: but they are the customers, and they aren't that happy.
Me: yeah, and do you know why? Because our schedule is completely fucked up and our management has been ignoring ANY warning from engineering for WEEKS! That's why they are unhappy and not because I'm not holding their fucking hands!
PM: hey, but you can't tell me what I have to do!
Me: and you can't tell me either! [he's my PM, but technically not my superior.]
PM: so no call or what?
Me: you're free to have your call. I'll sort out the shit that they're concerned about, putting that down in a proper email, and then we have at least some basis for discussion!
PM: (left for his call)
Btw., my cursing was the same in the live conversation with him.9 -
I might have posted this before. But I am going to post it again. Because emojis.
Me: 😁 Software lead I have finished coding the thing.
SL: 😀 Cool, good job. That is going to really help out the analysts.
Software Manager: 😐 hey I noticed you have coded a new thing and pushed it to integration.
Me: 😁 Yes.
SM: 😐 Well how do you know when it's done?
Me: 😑 . . . When you run it and it does the thing?
SM: 😐 Did you write test steps?
Me: 😕 Yeah . . . they're in the issue ticket.
SM: 😐 Yeah but how do you know those are right?
Me: 😕 Because I wrote the thing and the test steps?
SM: 😐 did you put any steps in our acceptance test procedure?
Me: 😕 No.
SM: 😐 why not?
Me: 😧 Because the acceptance test procedure tests requirements. There is no requirement for this functionality.
SM: 😑 Then why did you do it?
Me: 🤔 Because it was an internal request from the analysis team. There is no customer impact here.
SM: 😑 I really think we should write a requirement.
SL: 🤔 But what requirement is he going to attach this to?
SM: 😑 We don't have to attach it to a requirement. We can just test it once and remove it.
Me: 😒 SM, you know we never remove anything from the acceptance test procedure.
SM: 🙂 We do sometimes.
SL: 🤔 When was that I have worked here for twenty years and we have never removed a test from that document.
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
Me: 🤐
SM: 😧 I really think there should be an acceptance test written.
SL: 😧 Looks like you're writing an acceptance test.
Me: 😒 Alright as long as y'all're payin'. Shit I was just tryin' to save y'all money.
*acceptance test written and sent to peer review*
Peer: 😐 The requirement tested section doesn't have any requirements spelled out.
Me: 😅 No.
Peer: 🤔 Why?
Me: 😓 Because there is no requirement associated with this test.
Peer: 🤔 Then why are we adding an acceptance test?
Me: 😡 WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GOD DAMN QUESTION!?6 -
"Hey nephew, why doesn't the FB app work. It shows blank white boxes?"
- It can't connect or something? (I stopped using the FB app since 2013.)
"What is this safe mode that appeared on my phone?!"
- I don't know. I don't hack my smartphone that much. Well, I actually do have a customised ROM. But stop! I'm pecking my keyboard most of the time.
"Which of my files should I delete?"
- Am I supposed to know?
"Where did my Microsoft Word Doc1.docx go?"
- It lets you choose the location before you hit save.
"What is 1MB?"
- Search these concepts on Google. (some of us did not have access to the Internet when we learned to do basic computer operations as curious kids.)
"What should I search?"
- ...
"My computer doesn't work.. My phone has a virus. Do you think this PC they are selling me has a good spec? Is this Video Card and RAM good?"
- I'm a programmer. I write code. I think algorithmically and solve programming problems efficiently. I analyse concepts such as abstraction, algorithms, data structures, encapsulation, resource management, security, software engineering, and web development. No, I will not fix your PC.7 -
Ok, so I have a SAAS website where users pay a daily fee to use my platform as there fundraiser landing page.
A new client comes, asks for a discount, and got a 50% off because his brother was a previous client.
Him: Can you please add a list of the days of the year so a donor can donate a day?
Me: Sure, sounds like a good idea, and will probably take me about a week to implement with testing etc. And so I want $$ (hourly rate * one week) for the work.
Him: Don't bluff me I understand a bit in programming, it shouldn't take you more than an hour, and I am paying you, so you should do it for free.
Me: Ok, here is a fair deal, since you understand in programming, build it for me, I give you two weeks and I will pay you double what I am asking for.
Him: I don't understand enough to do it myself, I just estimated how much work it is.
Me: Forget about it, if you want me to build you this feature, you pay. If not you can go to my competition happily.
Who needs bad clients at all?
Why do they think they know everything?
And why don't they understand that time is money?5 -
Client: "I need you to implement a feature which does x"
Me: "We can it do like this, I can do it in Y hours."
Client: "Perfect do it"
Me: "Here you go have a look and if you give your ok I'll implement it on production."
Client:"That is not what I need. I need Z"
Me: "Well then you should have said Z and not x. But I can do Z if you want me to."
Client:"Do it it is urgent!!!!111"
Me: "All done here you go."
Client: "That works like what I said what I need, but I meant more like xZ."
Me: "Ok, you know I have to charge you for all this, do you?"
Client: "What why? It isn't the feature I wanted!!11 Do it right and I'll pay you for the right one!"
Me: "It might not be what you wanted but it is exactly what you specified to me. I'll send you the bill and will not continue working for you. Good luck finding someone who is willing to do unpaid work for you."
I am so done with that kind of client.8 -
I usually don't work for indian clients. But when I do, they make sure I don't get paid.
Some highlights from my last project,
Client: Do you know ERPnext?
Me: No, but I am good at python.
Client: My boss wants me to find a guy who can create barcode generator for erpnext.
Me: I can use pyBarcode to do it.
This is exciting I thought. I get to learn a new framework. Start working on it. Not an hour passes by,
Client: hey can you remove this menu item?
Me: Which one?
Client: Also can you add the dashboard icons to left sidebar? Like Odoo? Do you know it? It is also python based.
Me: Then why don't you just use Odoo instead?
Client: My boss wants it. He doesn't understand computers. He is pissing mr off.
Me: Then how come he suggested erpnext?
Client: His friend told him.
*experience mindfuck*
For the next 3 days he has me working on these UI tweaks, never mentions barcode again.
But I finish the barcode stuff. Tripple check everything to make sure they work. Tell him to check so I can get paid. Guy asks his boss to check.
Boss > Client: It doesn't work
Me: What doesn't work?
Boss > Client: Everything!
Client: I actually tested everything and they work. My boss doesn't know how to use it. He is very old.
Makes me make more changes and finally when I ask for the work done so far,
Client: Boss didn't come to office today. I'll get you paid. Please try to understand my situation.
Me thinking, "mofo your boss didn't hire me,l. You did". But I keep calm and tell him I won't work until I get paid 50%.
3 days passed. No reply. Set his skype status to "Away" forever.
*spidey sense tells me I'm not getting paid, again*
U am beyond pissed and burnt out. I fucking wish there was a mafia I can request to collect my fucking money from them.20 -
My boss has this habit of telling me what to do, followed by "thats easy" and "it should take you about <half the time it actually takes to do it barely okeish>"
My boss does not code and whenever I try to explain why stuff takes as long as it does he replies with, thats technical, I don't want to know...
Quiting my job at the end of the week : )10 -
This is a long rant. Sorry in advance. I just want to let it all out.
I don't really know what John (not his real name) did to my boss, who I shall name as Steve. Does he have a personal grudge? Like wtf?
John wasn't even incompetent. He even helped us mobile developers in our designs using photoshop. He's flexible. Ok sure, he isn't a top performer, but he isn't a low performer either. But why the fucking hate? really.
We currently have a new project, and are assigned to our posts. Then Steve goes, "Ok John, you will remain in the old project." He already said it once, which is fine. But did he really have to bring it up EVERY TIME? "John doesn't have to go overtime because he's in the old project, so it'll only be us." Like really? Of course we know that. why do you have to keep repeating that John isn't included? He even pointed at John during this. John shouldn't have been in the meeting then. Dipshit.
There was a meeting with the Web team in regards to what the progress was. When it came to John, Steve had to say, "The design is so ugly." Ok.. first off, you are not the QA to say that. And everyone else says it's fine. Even the QA says it's fine. So wtf? Why do you hate him so much?
We have these friday meetings in where we present our topics to the team, like Object Oriented Programming, SDLCs, and the like. We presented our stuff, and Steve listened attentively to everyone. But when it came to John, guess what? he ain't listening. He's on his phone, on his EARPHONES even. fucking rude. When John finished, he said, "You didn't present everything." He talked for an hour and a half. His topic has many things. Of course he can't present everything. And that is all you have to say? What about the others then? The others didn't present everything but you didn't complain. Why do you have to humiliate him to everyone else?
Way to demoralize your employee. What a lead. Fucking piece of shit. I am treating John pizza since I can't do anything else for him. It's frustrating. I wouldn't be surprised is John left the company.9 -
Look... I know I'm just a newbie. I started a year ago as a junior. Sure. No one wants to do code review, so I got chosen to do it. People don't like it when their code gets criticised. And you know what? I get it, I should probably be a bit nicer with my comments. I should not suggest I'll make a fork and split internal library into two streams if things continue this way. I should not ask questions that can be understood as me being passive-aggressive.
But holy fucking shit, you're a senior developer. Don't treat Java as a fucking scripting language. Don't have a method that has 600 lines of code, because you're repeating the code! You've already copy pasted this shit, and modified it slightly. Like, couldn't you have created some architecture around the code? How can a senior dev copy-paste code?
Oh and why the fuck did you create a new utility class for functionality I already provide? Look, I admit, yours is a lot better, ok? It has extra functionality. But why the fuck didn't you enhance my utility class? Why did you create a new one? Did you just not want to touch my code, or did you not see it right below your newly created class?
Am I the only one who fucking cares about maintainable code in this company? When I got hired, I was in tears by how frustrating a lot of the things were. No documentation anywhere, not even fucking comments. No processes in place. Want to do something? Source code is your documentation. Fuck you! I busted my ass of to force everyone to document every little bullshit, to re-factor their MRs that I reviewed, and I won't let even a senior fucking dev pollute the code base!
Fuuuuuck... Me...2 -
The state of CS is a joke and I'm contributing to it.
I'm a final year CS student and like most students, I'm not exactly overflowing with money so any income helps. Now, it's not that uncommon for students to buy their projects but I swear a good 20% of people from my course don't know how to write a function. And let me remind you, they are in their final year, about to graduate, about to get their bachelor's degree in computer science and they don't know how to write a function, let alone a class, let alone piece together something that works.
I just want to say that no, I'm not proud of myself for doing other people's projects for money and letting such imbeciles pass. I'm fucking tired of sending over someone's project, them asking me to change something and me telling them to add an if statement to which they reply with "i don't know how, pls do it".
This is why having a degree doesn't mean shit anymore and yes, I'm aware that higher education has become more available over time.20 -
Them: Root, you take too long to get tickets out. You only have a few simple ones. You really need to rebuild your reputation.
Also them: Hey, could you revisit this ticket? Could you help ____ with this other ticket? Hey Root, how do you do this? Root, someone had a suggestion on one of your tickets; could you implement that by EoD? Hey Root, i didn't read your ticket notes; how do you test it? Hey, could you revisit this ticket for the fourth time and remove some whitespace? Hey Root, someone has non-blocking code review comments you need to address before we can release the ticket. Hey Root, we want to expand that ticket scope by 5-6 times; still labeled a trivial feature though.
Also them: Super easy ticket for you. Make sure you talk with teams A, B, C, D, E and get their input on the ticket, talk with ____ and ____ and ____ about it, find a solution that makes them all happy and solves the problem too, then be sure to demo it with everyone afterward. Super easy; shouldn't take you more than a couple days. Oh, and half of them are on vacation.
Also them: Hey, that high-priority ticket you finished months ago that we ignored? Yeah, you need to rewrite it by tomorrow. Also, you need to demo it with our guy in India, who's also on vacation. Yes, tomorrow is the last day. (The next day:) You rewrote it, but weren't able to schedule the demo? Now you've missed the release! It's even later! This reflects very poorly on you.
Also them: Perfect is the enemy of good; be more like the seniors who release partially-broken code quickly.
Also them: Here's an non-trivial extreme edgecase you might not have covered. Oh, it would have taken too much time and that's why you didn't do it? Jeez, how can you release such incomplete code?
Also them: Yeah, that ticket sat in code review for five months because we didn't know it was high-priority, despite you telling us. It's still kinda your fault, though.
Also them: You need to analyze traffic data to find patterns and figure out why this problem is happening. I know you pushed the fix for it 8 months ago, and I said it was really solid, but the code is too complex so I won't release it. Yeah I know it's just a debounce with status polling and retrying. Too complex for me to understand. Figure out what the problem is, see if another company has this same problem, and how they fixed it.
-------------
Yep. I'm so terrible for not getting these tickets out, like wow. Worst dev ever. Much shame.
LF work, PST.13 -
1. Do you know why my computer is so slow?
2. What cellphone do you recommend me to buy? (They always end up buying the cheapest)
3. What do you do at work? (Answer: "I create applications". Anything more complex than that is not going to be understood or they will loose interest)
4. Something is wrong with the: [TV, Cellphone, microwave, etc.]. Could you please take a look? (Believe or not, if something works with electricoty, my family thinks I can fix it).
5. Is it true that if I send this WhatsApp message to all my contacts I will have more options?
6. I need to build an application that (pretty much The Matrix), how much time do you need and how much would cost? Don't you dare to give me wrong numbers. (We have to see the future)
7. (Continuing the previous point, a non-technical client) I don't think that would take so much time/money. (Every time)
8. I want to use the latest Front-End frameworks. I want to see all those beautiful animations in my page and that it runs smoothly... I also need that it runs in IE 5.
9. So, you have been working in the back end? If you don't have a screen to show to the client is like you didn't do anything in this sprint.
10. Why haven't you built and million dollar application? Everybody is doing that right now....
Yep, those are only a few downsides of our profession if we count family, friends and even co-workers. But I can't imagine myself doing anything else.6 -
Recently i had to interview a guy with 10 years of frontend experience for a react developer role
Me : Do you know what ecmascript is ?
Him : Yes
Me : Which version would you prefer to use and why ?
Him : I dont use it. I am more comfortable with JavaScript.
Me : (totally confused) 😶
Him : (trying to be oversmart) I know you young guys prefer to use these fancy frameworks because you dont know how powerful raw javascript is.
Me : (Trying hard to not "react") Ok.
How would you "react" to this ?31 -
I know a guy, about 50 years old. He is a self-taught programmer since he was young, and he has always used Visual Basic (never anything newer than VB6).
He once needed to interface with a web application I wrote, so I asked him to send me a POST HTTP request. He didn't know what I was talking about. No notion of REST, sockets, HTTP, nothing.
The he showed me his code. Actually, his codes. He had multiple copies of the project, one for each version, and he even kept multiple variations of the software in different separate folders. He probably doesn't know what "version control" even means.
You think this is messy. You didn't see the actual code (it's a huge application!).
Spaghetti all over the place. Meaningful variable names, what are they? Default names for the controls, like button1, button2, etc, with forms with more than 30 buttons and text fields. This was the most incomprensibile code I have ever seen.
You might think that this guy is just a hobbyist.
No.
He sells his applications. To companies. They are obviously full of errors, but they buy them.
Now, if you're still with me, two questions come into my mind:
- why?? I hate this, because it's impossible to prove to a non-technical person that this is *not* software development.
- how do I know that, to someone else, I am not like him? How can I be sure that I know and will know what needs to be known?4 -
A few weeks ago at infosec lab in college
Me: so I wrote the RSA code but it's in python I hope that's ok (prof usually gets butthurt if he feels students know something more than him)
Prof: yeah, that's fine. Is it working?
Me: yeah, *shows him the code and then runs it* here
Prof: why is it generating such big ciphertext?
Me: because I'm using big prime numbers...?
Prof: why are you using big prime numbers? I asked you to use 11, 13 or 17
Me: but that's when we're solving and calculating this manually, over here we can supply proper prime numbers...
Prof: no this is not good, it shouldn't create such big ciphertext
Me: *what in the shitting hell?* Ok....but the plaintext is also kinda big (plaintext:"this is a msg")
Prof: still, ciphertext shows more characters!
Me: *yeah no fucking shit, this isn't some mono/poly-alphabetic algorithm* ok...but I do not control the length of the ciphertext...? I only supply the prime numbers and this is what it gives me...? Also the code is working fine, i don't think there's any issue with the code but you can check it if there are any logic errors...
Prof: *stares at the screen like it just smacked his mom's ass* fine
Me: *FML*12 -
I really hate how people see Bachelor of Computer Science as a meme.
I think it's because everyone who has a Computer calls himself a IT-Expert. So today on Xmas family joined for a meal, we talked about work and study and stuff...
Auntie: "So why do you need to study to Operate a Computer, my Son built one by himself without studying, you should study something solid like economics"
First I thought this was a meme, later I found out she was dead serious.
All the math, physics, scientific research, papers, software engineering just to operate a computer 😂
I'm not gonna call her names, because it's Xmas so:
father forgive them, because they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.10 -
You know what I realized we should always say no for demo driven application development.
We should always ask for enough time do a proper development and if its not enough, shouldn’t write a single line.
Because once we deliver a working demo. Its release ready for them because its FUCKING WORKING..
And trying to explain why this is just a demo and cant be put to production is even bigger pain in the ass than saying no in the beginning.
LESSON LEARNED .4 -
Why do HR people ask stupid questions like the following ones? Everytime I get those questions, I have imaginary answers like the ones right after each question.
Why do you want to work here?
- Obviously, because I need the money to survive. I'm not here because I love working for you and having to endure your stress. I'm not that type of a kinky person.
Are you flexible?
- Why? Do you want to annoy me when I'm sleeping in the middle of the night because of a sudden deadline or because a god damn employee didn't show up?
Do you see yourself as a perfect fit for both developer and tech support roles?
- Read my fucking resume, moron. I applied for a developer role. Nothing else.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
- As if you would care. It's none of your business, but since we are at it. I see myself as your manager in 5 years. Hope that you like that thought.
We didn't bother reading your CV. Would you like to tell us about yourself?
- Nope. Have a nice day and suck my dick. I'm leaving.
Can you give us your phone number and the phone number of your girlfriend?
- I didn't know that I am selling my soul to your company by accepting this job offer. I'm not your slave and you will not call me whenever I'm enjoying my private time.
What's motivating you?
- Money and the peaceful vibe at work when you are shutting the fuck up when I'm fully focused during my projects.
How do you handle stress?
- I dick slap everyone infront of me.
Do you see yourself as a hard worker?
- Nah, I'm not interested in sucking dicks, eating her ass and bending over to get a little bit of a raise.11 -
Conversations I've genuinely had at work:
Me: "Do you want some advice understanding that function?"
Dev: "Yeah, please!"
Me: "Get a plastic bag and some super glue..."
Dev: "I think I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!"
Me: "It's just the train of mental bitchslaps coming in the other direction."
... Some time later
Dev:"You were right... "
Dev: "If the system is so unstable, how does it keep working?"
Me: "Do you see any goats in the office?"
Dev: "Uhm no... Why would there be goats?"
Me: "There aren't, now, we ran out."
Dev: "The hell are you talking about?"
Me: "We just sacrifice our own blood to Cthulhu these days, it's cleaner and we didn't have to pay to have all the goats blood and waste matter to be cleaned up. That and it was needlessly cruel to the poor goats and that is why there is no goats and despite conventional logic the app continues to work."
Dev: "So what language is the web app written in?"
Me: "You need to understand I inherited this project, I had nothing to do with it's spawning..."
Dev: "OK, that sounds ominous... How bad is it?"
Me: "Java..."
Dev: "..."
Dev: "So what's it like working on this project? What should I expect?"
Me: "You'll call your grandmother during your lunch break just to know there's a world beyond this project. You'll go home, nose bleeding and you are gonna sit in the shower and rock back and forth, holding yourself and feeling like you're suffering imposter syndrome. You'll question why you joined this team and it'll get inside your head til it's all you think about..."
Dev: "Damn man, why are you still on it?"
Me: "Stockholm syndrome, it's too late for me..."
PM: "You're such a dark person, we're not gonna find you hanging from the lights one day are we?"
Me: "Impossible, we use those industrial fluorescent strip lights, there's no cord to hang from."
PM: "That really wasn't the comforting answer I was looking for."
Head of department: "So I need to apologize, you were never meant to be left on your to manage the product on your own, it's something someone way more senior should have been doing and we reassigned him. It wasn't professional of us, it wasn't fair of us, we're sorry. Truth be told,we're impressed you've not gone mad."
Me: "I think I have. Wibble."
A card goes round work for a sick member of staff I've never met.
Me: "How would you describe her condition?"
Dev: "She said that she 'survived' the surgery."
Me: "Yeah, I'm not great at being appropriate but even I think writing 'glad to hear that you are not dead' in a get well soon card isn't the done thing."5 -
I'm seriously considering never doing fixed rate projects for clients ever again. The conversation will likely go like this, though:
"How much to build my website?"
"$100/hour."
"Sorry, I don't think you heard me correctly. I asked how much to build the whole website."
"$150/hour"
"Wait, you changed the rate! Why won't you give me a fixed cost?"
"Why won't you pay me for my time?"
"Because I can get it done for a cheaper fixed cost somewhere else!"
"But how do you know that's actually cheaper?"
"What do you mean?"
"We pad fixed price projects precisely because we fear not being fully paid for our time."
"Oh."16 -
Dev: Hey that internal audit you asked me to perform didn’t go so well
Manager: It has too! I’ll get in a lot of trouble if it doesn’t pass.
Dev: Ok well it’s a lot of work to get it to a passing state, we have to dedicate a lot of resources to fix all these findings.
Manager: We don’t have any spare resources, they are all working on new projects! Why did you have to find things??
Dev: ….It’s a lot of hard to miss stuff, like missing signatures on security clearance forms
Manager: Ok can’t you just say that everything is all good? They’ll probably not double check.
Dev: I’m not really comfortable with that…Look all of these findings are all just from one member of the team consistently not doing their job, can’t you just address that with him and I can make a note on the audit that issues were found but corrective action was made? That’s the whole point of audits.
Manager: You don’t get it, if anything is found on the audit I’ll look bad. We have to cover this up. Plus that’s a really good friend of mine! I can’t do that to him. Ok you know what? You are obviously not the right person for this task, I’ll get someone else to do it. Go back to your regular work, I’m never assigning you audits again.8 -
Always the same story:
Marketing: hey I'm gonna do a demo to a customer. They were asking for feature XYZ. That's ready on thr staging server right? Do you think I could use the staging server for the demo?
Devs: well feature XYZ is not 100% done. Basically just feature X is done, and it still has a few bugs. The deadline ain't for another month, since we gotta finish ABC first. I guess you could use the staging, but it has a lot of bugs.
Marketing: perfect!
*after presentation*
Marketing: the staging had so many bugs! Why didn't you tell me?! It was so embarrassing showing it to new customers! Anyway, they loved the new feature. We need it to be ready ASAP.
Devs: What?! That's gonna mess up with our schedule. You know what? Fine, but feature ABC will have to wait another month.
Marketing: Well, it'd be ideal if we could do both...
Devs: Pay for more devs or dor extra hours.
Marketing: Just do XYZ. It's a pity that you'll have to push back ABC but it's fine, XYZ is more important.
(I might ask, if it was so important, why didn't you notice so in the meeting where we had decided that ABC would be prioritized?)
*tons of working hours later*
Devs: There, we finished XYZ.
Marketing: Yay! Wow, this month we'll have two major features done: ABC and XYZ!
Devs: No, ABC is not done yet.
Marketing: What? But the deadline was this week.
Devs: It was, but then you decided to prioritize XYZ and we said we had to push back ABC to get XYZ ready, and you agreed.
Marketing: Did we? Fine. But do it quick.
Marketing and their mood swings.5 -
My friend loves Dreamweaver... And continuously says that he doesn't understand what people see in it that is so wrong... It does the job right?...... Fucking blind...
Uses a bootstrap plugin which generates HTML code for bootstrap.
I did not know this at the time.
Comes to me the night before submission.
He: Dude i need help quick! I've got the presentation tomorrow morning and bootstrap fucked up the links to my style sheets or something, my page is broken and won't work. I should have done what you did and gone for Foundation...
Me: Yeah, because the bootstrap framework definitely affects the style links...
He: help me out man, please! I can't do this anymore!
I had my submission the day after him to prepare still...
Me: Teamviewer. Now.
Log on to Teamviewer.
See what he's using to code...
Dreamweaver..... Niiiiice....
I go through the code. There are empty divs with &nbsc; in them everywhere.. some HTML elements haven't been closed, no comments, indentation seems to be completely random. All the usual shit storm of a novice web designer.
The only thing is, this guy I know knows how to indent, I've seen his previous work. Why is this so horrible then???
I ask what the hell happened, it looked like a nuclear explosion happened!
He: Yeah I'm using this great plugin for Dreamweaver which lets me click and it puts in Bootstrap elements! It's great!
........ You're blaming the bootstrap framework for affecting your links to your stylesheets, you're using an elements generator, you're not checking what the FUCK it puts into your code, not fixing the indenting, not checking the standard HTML rules are followed AND YOU WONDER WHY IT'S BROKEN???
Kill me now.4 -
> git commit -m 'fixing what I broke earlier'
> git pish
> git: 'pish' is not a git command. See 'git --help'.
Did you mean this?
push
> you know I meant push, why can't you leave me alone and just do it13 -
- Let's make the authentication system so the user can only login in one device at time, because this is more secure.
- You know that this will be a general-public application, right?
- Yeah!
- Sou you want to "punish" users with a logoff on the other device when he tries to login in a new one?
- Yeah!
- But before you said we will use Json Web Token to make the backend stateless.
- Yeah!
- And how will we check if the token is the last one generated?
- We will store the last generated token for this user on a table in our DB.
- So... you are basically describing the old authentication model, with session tokens stored on the backend and communicating them via cookies.
- Yeah, but the token will be sent on the Header, not on cookies
- Okay, so why will we use Json Web Token to do this in the first place?
- Because this is how they're doing now, and this will make the backend stateless.
A moment of silence, please.8 -
Had this conversation with a friend a while ago (not dev related). He convinced me to start working on a design! (detail: he doesn't know me well, know him through a best friend but I consider him a friend)
Friend: *shows new tattoo* what ya think?
Me: awesome man! I still idk maybe want a tattoo too...
Friend: ohhh! What of?
Me: uhm well... my favourite music genre... uhm...
Friend: what's up with your doubts?
Me: well.... everyone always tells me not to tattoo anything relating to music because musical taste cab change easily...
Friend: may I guess the genre?
Me: yeah sure :)
Friend: hardstyle, maybe raw hardstyle/rawstyle?
Me: yup!
Friend: well why wouldn't you get a tattoo of it?!
Me: well, I mean what if my taste changes?
Friend: dude. do you have the slightest clue how fucking happy/energetic you look when you hear that music?! It'd be hard to imagine you losing your love for that genre! And if then, then what? That genre has gotten you through the darkest places, most difficult times and has pretty much made you into the person you are right now, even if you'd change factories genres, it'd be a reminder of how you beat getting bullied and became the person you are now!
Me: yeah.... but everyone keeps telling me that its not a good ide..'
Friend: fuck them. You love this music to the fucking point, you told me earlier that you'd like to start producing it!
Fuck those people. If you'd like it, go get that fucking tattoo!
I love that guy!
Anyone into electronic music production here? I could use some tips 😅14 -
Guy I work with: Hey can I borrow you for a minute
Me: sure. What do you need?
Him: so this is a project me an the other dev worked on
Me thinking: Well I know he did it all and sent you the project so don't tell me you worked on it
Him: so we use it to do this and this and send an email to this new account I made because (2 minute explanation)
Me thinking: I don't care. Just tell me what your issue is! I already know what it is and does from what you told me the last time when you showed me. Which took an hour of my time.
Him: so he sent me this code which is called <Descriptive name> and in the method we have variables call <descriptive name> and it returns a <variable name>
Me thinking: You mother fucker! I don't give a shit what your method is named, what it the variable names are, and you don't need to read through every line of code to me! Just from the descriptive name you just said I know what it does! What the fuck is your issue!?
Him: we also have these other methods. This one is called <Descriptive name> which does...
Me: are you fucking seriously going to read me your code line by line and tell me what you named your variables AGAIN!?
Him: and we named this one <descriptive name>
Me: you mother fucker...
Him: and it calls this stored procedure. (Literally opens the stored procedure and shows me) and it is called...which has parameters called... And it is a select query that inserts
45 minutes later after he finishes explaining all 3 pages of his code and his 5 stored procedures that the other dev wrote...
Him: So anyway, back to this method. I need to know where to put this method. The other dev said to put it in this file, but where do you think I should put it in here? Should I place it after this last one or before it?
Me thinking: You fucking wasted my fucking time just to ask where to place your mother fucking method that the other dev sent to you in a project with only 3 files, all less than 500 lines of code with comments and regions that actually tell you what you should put there and 5 small stored procedures that were not even relevant to your issue! Why the fuck did you need to treat me as a rubber ducky which would fly away if you did have one because you didn't have an issue, you just didn't know where to put your fucking code! FUCK YOUR METHOD!
Me: Where ever you want
Him: Well I think it won't work if I placed it before this method.
I walked away after that. What a waste of time and an insult to my skills and really unchallenging. He's been coding for years and still can't understand anything code related. I'm tired if helping him. Every time he needs something he always has to read through and explain his shit just to ask me things like this. One time he asked me what to name his variable and another his project. More recently he asked why he couldn't get his project he found online to work. The error clearly stated he needed to use c# 7. His initial solution was to change his sql connection string. 😑
He should just go back to setting up computers and fixing printers. At least then he would never be in the office to bug me or the other dev with things like this.7 -
Ah yes, Brave, the browser that "respects your privacy" has started putting ads directly *in* the browser.
When they introduced Brave Rewards and people were confused why I was upset, it's because I knew it was a slippery slope to toward this sort of thing.
EDIT: Turns out, the ad is targeted towards LGBT people. As an LGBT person who just wants to live life in peace, this shit aggravates me even more. First, corporations are not your friends. They do not care about you. It's virtue signalling. Second, it's a bit ironic seeing as how Brenden Eich made Brave. If you don't already know, Brenden Eich (also creator of javascript) is pretty anti-gay.
So many things wrong with this. Can't wait to stop leasing away my devices' resources to advertisers.27 -
preface: swearing.
because anger.
So. I'm trying to use Material Design with Material UI. The components and UI look *great*.
It's from google, though, which really pisses me off. but I like what I can do with the UI.
HOWEVER.
I really want a grid system for responsiveness. because obviously. besides, i really hate doing all the responsive shit myself. it sucks and i hate it.
Material Design does not include a grid system. okay, it includes a grid component, but it's not for site layout. it's for making a grid of images. or something.
What it does include is a lot of very lengthy documentation on what you should do, complete with fancy graphics saying "THIS IS HOW YOU MUST DO IT OR YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG" -- but they don't actually support it! you must do it all yourself.
Why oh why would they tell you how you must do things if they don't provide the tools to make it possible? fucking google.
You might decide it's a grand idea to interject at this moment and say: "there are plenty of tools out there that allow you to do this!" And sure, you'd be right. however -- and i think this might just barely might be worth mentioning -- THEY REALLY FUCKING SUCK. Hey, let's look at some of the classes! So clear and semantic! This one was nice and simple: "xs4" -- but wtf does that mean? okay, it apparently means 4 columns as they'd appear on an extra-small layout. How does that work on a large layout? Who knows. Now, how about "c12"? okay, maybe 12 columns? but how does that display on a phone with a layout small enough to only have 4 columns? i don't know! they don't know! nobody knows!
oh oh oh oh. and my particular favorite: "mdc-layout-grid__cell mdc-layout-grid__cell--align-bottom" WHAT. THE. FUCK. I'm not writing a goddamn novel! and that one claims to be from google itself. either they've gone insane or someone's totally lying. either way, fuck them.
SO. TERRIBLENESS ASIDE.
Instead of using Material Design v0.fuckoff that lacks any semblance of a grid layout, I figure I'll try v1.0 alpha that actually has one supported natively. It's new and supports everything I need. There's no way this can't be a good idea.
The problem is, while it's out and basically usable, none of the React component libraries fucking work with it. Redux-Form doesn't work with it either because it doesn't understand nested compound controls, and hacking it to work at least triples the boilerplate. So, instead, I have to use some other person's "hey, it's shitty but it works for me" alpha version of someone else's project that works as a wrapper on top of Redux-Form that makes all of this work. yeah, you totally followed that. Kind of like a second-cousin-twice-removed sort of project adding in the necessary features and support all the way down. and ofc it doesn't quite work. because why would things ever be easy?
like seriously, come on.
What i'm trying to do isn't even that bloody hard.
Do I really have to use bootstrap instead?
fuck that.
then again, fuck this significantly more.
UGH.18 -
When your classmates are such lobotomites, that they manage to fry 11 fucking IC's within a day! And I am the one who has to find and replace all the broken stuff. FFS it says 9V right there on the board NOT 12V! No, your board should not draw 1.7AMPS! This chip is getting kinda hot. What is wrong? ONE OF YOUR FUCKING PROBES IS BRIDGING ONE OF THE PINS!
Why isnt this working correctly? You adjusted the wrong fucking potentiometer!
I know I have far more experience than most of my classmates, but man, atleast try to not break things by just thinking: "I dont know dis. (Its actually written in the docs!) So imma assume it will be fine if I do dis. It wasnt fine!"
Also IF something doesnt work, DO NOT TURN UP THE VOLTAGE ON THE CIRCUIT BECAUSE IT APPEARS TO BE THE CLOSEST POSSIBLE ERROR. Which in most cases it is not!7 -
Warning: JPEG artefacts incoming!
Dear Google,
you know exactly which languages I speak. So please explain to me why you still feel the need to push some random video titles and descriptions through Google Translate, making them look unprofessional and confusing me because I know that I watched that video already, but now it has a new title? And why is there no option to turn this off? And why do you explicitly state that the language setting does not affect text submitted by users? Even though it does? What the actual fuck?
Also lol even Google isn't perfect at using ecape characters correctly18 -
Roommate: "Hey, man, uh, I know you use computers a lot or something; do you know off the top of your head how to use the touch screen on my computer?"
Me: "Uh, your laptop doesn't have a touch screen."
Roommate: "Yeah, but I thought you might know how to use it as a touchscreen."
Me: "...Your laptop does not have a touch screen."
I swear, this is the dumbest man I have ever come into contact with.
That'd be fine if this was a one-off type of thing, but he seriously has approx. 209.8 brain cells in total.
Once, with no argumentative basis, he told me that, if Mickey Mouse got enough votes as a write-in candidate, he could win the Presidency of the United States. I showed him Article II of our Constitution, and he said "why does that even matter here?"
Three more months, school'll be done, and I never have to see him again.7 -
$work: Ey @Root, make this super simple thing.
$work: No, not like that.
$work: It also needs to do A, B, and C.
$work: No, not there. You should build it somewhere else, but I won't tell you where.
$work: You need to build out F and G, too.
$work: What do you mean you don't have the data? Just ask support drone #3. (who directs me to #2, and that one to #8 who doesn't know, and that one to #12 who won't answer)
$work: Why can't I do K, Y, or S? You should be able to infer these from the mind of whoever wrote the ticket by its wording, despite no mention of them whatsoever.
$work: Are you done yet? It's a super simple ask!7 -
I fucking hate being the "ask me anything" guy in the office, how am I supposed to code if people interrupt me every 5 minutes?
OH LOOK AT MY HEADPHONES! MAYBE I'M CONCENTRATED AND HAVE SHIT TO DO! I mean there are other 10 devs, why don't you go to them? or maybe try to GOOGLE IT, I HEARD STACK OVERFLOW IS GOOD YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
don't get me wrong, I like to help people but I hate when those bastards come asking questions that could be easily answered if they read the code for 5 fucking minutes.
when I have to look at code that is not mine I try to understand it by myself, even if it's not documented, and I try not to bother anyone unless is really necessary.
But then this sluggish leeches think I know the whole codebase and that can interrupt me whenever they can.7 -
I developed a simple scholarship management system for my school using Laravel, MySQL, jQuery and Bootstrap, I did it for free since college students from my country have to pay social service to get their degrees. Everyone in the scholarships department seemed to be really happy with my work and they evaluated my social service with 10/10, but yesterday they asked for one last favor: to go talk to the new social service guy who'll be supposed to maintain my project, a mid 30's dude who was really pissed off from the beginning because he wasn't even able to deploy the project, he wasn't even able to clone the project from Github. Ok, so I tried to explain to him the tools I used and how the project was structured, but everything I said seemed to piss him even more, so I stopped and had a chat like:
Me: "Look man, do you know or at least have basic concepts of PHP and MVC frameworks?"
Guy: "Yes, but I'm a project manager, not just –despectively– any programmer, and you didn't write proper documentation, it's impossible to deploy your project with the manual you wrote, I cannot work like this".
*We go to their computer and I clone and setup the project in 3 minutes.
Guy: "Yes, but I still don't know how the project works, I need everything documented. If I have to change something, I don't know where to look.
Me: "Man, that's why asked you about knowing PHP MVC frameworks".
Guy: "I cannot work like this, nothing is documented, I don't even know what's that software you're using *points at Sublime Text*. Or tell me, can you arrive at a place where they expect you to work with something you don't know and they have no documentation?"
*At this point he was really pissed
Me: "Well... Dealing with non-documented software is what I do for a living"
Guy: "I don't know what companies you've worked for, probably not big ones..."
Me: "Well, I actually work for *I mention one of the biggest music apps in the country*"
*Guy ironically laughs
When I gave my feedback to the lady in charge of the department, I told her that this guy was really pissed off at how things were done and that I wasn't so sure of him being capable of maintaining the system. She told me not to worry, that the guy became a well known asshole in the office only after a few days, and that she'll probably have to find something else for him to do. It'd be hilarious if this guy ends up capturing scholarships in the system I made.4 -
Why does the idea of having to develop social skills somehow seem to scare the fuck out of a large portion of you?
Is being a likeable human being such a weird concept? What do you expect? To people just validate your entire existence based on how good you can sit in front of a set of monitors and push code out? Thousands of monkeys can do that shit. Thousands of systems will eventually do such things.
for whatever reason the "I am a fucking asshole that can code" trope seems to be a "real thing" amongst developers. A mfker can know waaaaaaay less than you, have the same credentials (degrees etc) and will get the job because you were too busy building an online persona governing how better you are than everyone else. How "quirky" and Sheldon Cooper like you are. You think that makes you likeable? "i don't need to be likeable" <---- yes the fuck you are, because this shit is something in which people can be trained upon.
A team, regardless of how much you agree with this, can choose a person solely based on how well he/she/whatever clicks with them. You might be the end all be all of development, but if they don't like you or feel you will not be someone worthwile to be around, will not chose you. They will go with the charismatic newbie that can learn the same shit you so dear hold on to, because they are likeable.
Sticking to a merit based "I am the best there is" asshole mentality is a thing of the fucking past, boomer mentality. For which newer generations are parting ways with, with still profitable results. workable results. Production ready results.
Yet you chose to stick to a "I might be a quirky annoying fuck, but I am the best" mentality?
This is why you were bullied. This is why you can't get any dick, this is why you can't get any pussy, this is why you sit your ass in your little dark room trying to convince yourself that being lonely is a choice, not a situation in which you put your ass in. This is why I also dislike developers online.
Most of you might be the nicest mfkers on the planet when dealing with on a face to face basis, but if you put this shit on a screen for the world to see you will be viewed upon as some dickhead.
Fuck this "code is my life" mentality, shit is but a paycheck, a craft is not a glimpse into what you are as a person, but a way in which you make a paycheck. Molding your personality, based on what you do for a living, really?
Damn man, shit is just so fucking sad. So cringeworthy even.43 -
STOP SHITTING ON PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES.
Now, I'm not talking to the people that don't take it too serious, but rather to people that think their language is superior and others inferior. Why shit on PHP? A lot of stuff is build with this, including devRant. For me, I'd love to learn any languages that has a proper use for me. (With this sentence I'm excluding all exoteric languages, because they are useless) If anyone says, Python is awesome as fuck, yeah, I FUCKING AGREE. Anyone telling me anything is crap, I disagree. If it's that terrible, how do you know about it? If it was never used ever in a project, how can you know its terrible? You can't. Unless you coded that thing yourself.
Next time don't waste your time on shit like that. I AM ALSO LOOKING AT THE HOLY WAR APPLE VS MICROSOFT VS LINUX
STOP WASTING YOUR TIME WITH SHIT LIKE THIS.18 -
The education system is a fucking joke. How do you get through all the required courses and get to the capstone course where your one goal is to build a simple prototype of a project(like a simple website) for a real world client and not know HTML or CSS when you spent a whole fuckboy semester on a class dedicated to HTML, css, JavaScript and the teacher gave you the PHP. Not only that but you can't even figure out how to use a simple google search to look up the documentation on any of these topics or even the easy to follow tutorials littering the internet on how to use Bootstrap which is what we're fucking using to make it faster to develop the core logic of our app but all you fucking want to do is take shortcuts and create a PowerPoint presentation in google slides and make an easy project look like shit and make me and yourselves look like shit. But don't fucking worry, I'll code the whole thing in a fucking night because you didn't do your part of taking care of just the front end and planned for your incompetence and lack of questions or help. I know you're busy looking for a job for after you graduate but you can't even answer a simple programming question. Let me give you the solution on how to reverse a string, cuz you don't remember c# but it literally takes 30 seconds to google the solution that is everywhere. My project team is why no one takes a degree from this university seriously.9
-
Business guy: hmmm, what do you think about getting the programmers to come to the office more often?
Me: uhhhh explain?
BG: feels like when working from home they might only give it their 90%, but in the office they'd do 100%.
Me: let's not talk about how you reached that conclusion for now. If you force them to come more often they will quit.
BG: what about the new people we want to hire?
Me: most jobs have full remote available, why would anyone pick us?
BG: hmmm. Btw next week we'll talk with some stakeholders about trying to get some outsource help. You know, for repetitive stuff that doesn't require in-house engineers.
Me: like what?
BG: you know, repetitive stuff
This is suffering. Is my only choice to tell the guy that he has no clue what he is talking about, should STFU, and let the technically capable people to handle themselves? As in, we already do but for some reason he still thinks he knows better than the people doing the god damn job? But if I do so, the salinity in his blood will bring other problems upon us.10 -
So one year ago I was working at this company from the US, me being in Europe, which automatically implies there is several hours of timezone difference.
The eng. manager decided we would have a release tomorrow (decision was made one month earlier), and stuff was being prepped up to make that happen.
In the US the workday was about lunch time and in EU it was one hour before finishing. The manager gets us in a meeting and asks me and another dude to do some testing that would take several hours to do. This testing could have been done several days or weeks earlier.
40 minutes after that meeting I get a private message from the PM asking for the status of the test...
Me: aaa.. well I started it and will continue tomorrow
Manager: wait what? we have launch tomorrow, this testing has to be done by tomorrow
Me: it's the end of the workday here, I got personal errands that I have to attend to
Manager: uhm ok ... I see...
I was just messaging something in the public chat right before calling it a day and the manager writes "thanks for the input, your day is over now", completely out of context to the conversation I was having with whomever.
There was no question of "can you stay extra hours and do this?", there was no "hey, I know your day is over we will pay you premium hours with this amount as according to our contract, could you do this now as we have release tomorrow?" ..no ..just .. "do it!". I automatically assumed that ..hey, maybe he wants to do this during and after the live launch (and yes I do admit my mistake of not asking just to be clear, but I assumed the manager knows that there is a timezone difference ..like it's a no brainer).
I can not tell you the heat sensation I had after that last reply from the manager ... it was completely uncalled for, and unreasonable.
I mean why not make a pre-launch phase where you put stuff on the staging server, and perform all the necessary tests and then when you get all the green lights from testing you then proceed with the actual deploy? ...no ... mention this like right at the end of the day before the launch....
And another thing that scratched my neuronal cortex is, how does he know exactly how long the tests would take?12 -
Worst code review experience?
Hard to pick just one, but most were in a big meeting room with 4+ other developers not related to the project and with some playing Monday-Morning-Quarterback instead of offering productive feedback.
In one code review, the department mgr reviewed the code from a third party component library.
<brings up the code on the big screen>
Mgr: "I can't read any of this, its a mix of English and something else."
Me: "Its German."
Mgr: "Then why is 'Button' in English? This code is a mess."
Me: "I'm not exactly sure how I should respond, I mean, I didn't write any of this code."
Mgr: "Yes, but you are using it, so it's fair game for a code review."
Me: "Its not really open source, but we can make requests if you found something that needs to be addressed."
Mgr: "Oh yes, all this...whatever this is..<pointing again to the German>"
Me: "I don't think they will change their code to English just so you can read it."
Mgr: "We paid good money, you bet your ass they'll change it!"
Me: "I think the components were like $30 for the unlimited license. They'll tell us to go to hell first. Is there something about my code you want to talk about?"
Mgr: "<Ugggh>...I guess not, I couldn't get past all that German. Why didn't we go with an American company? Hell, why didn't we just write these components ourselves!?"
Me: "Because you gave a directive that if we found components that saved us time, to put in a request, and you approved the request. The company is American, they probably outsourced or hired German developers. I don't know and not sure why we care."
Mgr: "Security! What if they are sending keystrokes back to their servers!"
Me: "Did you see any http or any network access?"
Mgr: "How could I? The code is in German!"
Monday-Morning-Quarterback1: "If it were me, I would have written the components myself and moved on"
Me: "No, I don't think you could for less than $30"
Monday-Morning-Quarterback2: "Meh...we get paid anyway. Just add the time to the estimate."
Mgr: "Exactly! Why do we even have developers who can't read this mess."
Me: "Oh good Lord! Did anyone review or even look at my code for this review!?"
<silence>
Mgr: "Oh...ok...I guess we're done here. Thanks everyone."
<everyone starts to leave>
Me: "Whoa!...wait a sec..am I supposed to do something?"
Mgr: "Get that company to write their code in English so we can read it. You have their number, call em'...no...wait...give me their number. You keep working, I'll take care of this personally"
In they nicest way possible, the company did tell him to go to hell.18 -
How it is to be a dev in my country?
At bit of an odd question this week.
For me (in the USA), it's being technical support for *every* website my family uses.
Over the weekend my wife visited her aunt and I get a call.
Wife: "How do I create an ebay account?"
Me: "I don't like where this is going. We already have an account."
Wife: "Not for me, dummy, Aunt T. She found some books she wants to buy on ebay."
Me: "You go thru the process to create an account? Email, name, password, etc."
Wife: "We tried that, but it's not working."
<few seconds of silence>
Me: "Oookaaay...why isn't it working? Is there an error?"
Wife: "I don't know, we already clicked off of it. Something about the email."
<few more seconds of silence>
Me: "Can you reproduce the error and tell me?"
Wife: "Uggh..are you serious? We've done it like 10 times, its not working. Just tell me what I need to do."
Me: "If you can't tell me the error, I can't help you. I'm not there and can't see what you see."
Wife: "Stop being an asshole."
<Aunt T takes the phone>
T: "Said something about using another email address. Does that help you?"
Me: "Are you sure you don't already have a ebay account?"
T: "No, I don't think so. I hate ebay. but I really want these books. I don't want the same problems as last time."
Me: "Last time?"
T: "Yes, I bought a coffee cup on ebay from China and it never arrived."
Me: "OK, so you do have an account?"
T: "I don't know, I mean, I never got the cup."
Me: "What email address did you use? I'll send a 'remind me' email so you can reset the password and login"
<go thru the motions, she is able to login>
T: "Ahhh...I do have an account! There are the golf balls I bought for <husband> for Christmas."
<face smack>
Wife: "Why didn't you do this from the start? I thought you knew a lot about computers. We basically figured this out ourselves. Goodbye!"
<click>11 -
An excerpt from the best rant about whiteboard interviews posted on the internet. Ever.
"Well, maybe your maximum subsequence problem is a truly shitty interview problem. You are putting your interview candidate in a situation where their employment hinges on a trivia question. — Kadane's algorithm! They know it, or they don't. If they do, then congratulations, you just met an engineer that recently studied Kadane's algorithm.
Which any other reasonably competent programmer could do by reading Wikipedia.
And if they don't, well, that just proves how smart the interviewer is. At which point the interviewer will be sure to tell you how many people couldn't answer his trivially simple interview question.
Find a spanning tree across a graph where the edges have minimal weight. Maybe one programmer in ten thousand — and I’m being generous — has ever implemented this algorithm in production code. There are only a few highly specific vertical fields in the industry that have a use for it. Despite the fact that next to no one uses it, the question must be asked during job interviews, and you must write production-quality code without looking it up, because surely you know Kruskal’s algorithm; it’s trivial.
Question: why are manhole covers round? Answer: they’re not just round, if you live in London; they're triangular and rectangular and a bunch of other shapes. Why is your interview question broken? Why did you just crib an interview question without researching whether its internal assumption was correct? Do you think that “round manhole covers are easier to roll" is a good answer? Have you ever tried to roll an iron coin that weighs up to 300 pounds? Did you survive? Do you think that “manhole covers are circular so that they don’t fall into manholes” is a good answer? Do you know what a curve of constant width is? Do you know what a Reuleaux triangle is? Have you ever even been to London?
If the purpose of interviewing was to play stump the candidate, I’d just ask you questions from my area of specialization. “What are the windowing conditions which, during the lapping operation on a modified discrete cosine transform, guarantee that the resynthesis achieves perfect reconstruction?” The answer of course is the Princen-Bradley condition! Everyone knows that’s when your windowing function satisfies the conditions h(k)2+h(k+N)2=1 (the lapping regions of the window, squared, should sum to one) and h(k)=h(2N−1−k) (the window should be symmetric). That’s fundamental computer science. So obvious, even a child should know the answer to that one. It’s trivial. You embarrass your entire extended family with your galactic stupidity, which is so vast that its value can only be stored in a double, because a float has insufficient range:"
Author: John Byrd
Src: https://quora.com/What-is-the-harde...3 -
*wants to download some YouTube videos in youtube-dl*
$ youtube-dl --a-bunch-of-options
> Can't download this, sorry.
*realizes that Ubuntu probably has an outdated version like usual*
# apt remove youtube-dl
*Realizes that this steaming pile of shit pulled in some icons and Wayland on a headless server*
# apt autoremove
> 300-something MB cleared
For a command-line tool...
# pip install youtube-dl
# apt install ffmpeg
$ youtube-dl --audio-format mp3 -o "%(title)s.%(ext)s" https://youtube.com/playlist/...
> Sorry mate, a video was removed from this playlist! Let me go ahead and shit the bed on this issue that's been reported several times since 6 years ago.
*finds an issue on GitHub reporting this, add -i option to continue on error*
$ youtube-dl --audio-format mp3 -o "%(title)s.%(ext)s" https://youtube.com/playlist/... -i
> There you go, your .webm files as requested!
But.. I requested .mp3 output? --audio-format mp3, don't you see?
> Oh no you need to add in another option to tell me to actually do that first. --extract-audio, you see?
But why.. why do you need to be told that twice? Oh ffs, fuck it.
Reminds me of robocopy. That shit required me to tell it 25 times what to do and it'd still not do it right as well. And you know what, compared to rsync where -avz works 99% of the time, I hate it.7 -
After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.
...
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."
He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.
Me: "what did I do wrong?"
Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."
Me: "can I expl..."
Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."
Me: "I have..."
Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"
Me: "ok"
Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"
Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."
Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)
Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."
Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."
Me: "But you have spoken"
Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"
That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.
Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"8 -
Old boss story. This guy was nice but a terrible boss. Also relevant, he has a background in IT so should know better.
Him: So when you wanna check a password is correct you just unhash it in the database?
Me: *facepalm*
Me: Hey we should be doing unit and integration testing at a minimum to lower bugs.
Him: We don't need those, we're not a bank. If a problem comes up we just fix it and push to production.
(A while later)
Him(in email): Why do we keep getting bugs reported. Don't you devs test your code.
I was mildly annoyed at that one.
Him: We're always over budget on projects, how can we fix this.
Me: What if we increase our quotes.(technically there are other ways as well but not really possible at that time)
Him: We can't do that, clients won't want to pay.
Me: *finishing off my handover as I'm leaving for a new job*
Him: Wow you do a lot of work2 -
"If you want to be a good developer then be good at one programming language." - I don't know why but I do not agree with this.7
-
God damn fucking shit.
Now I know again why I don't do apps.
This is a app as simple as can be:
Enter a link, click a button, do a http request, download a file.
BUT FUCKING HELL WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING RETARDED ANDROID?!
I'm not familiar with java but i don't care why is this so freaking unintiutiv to get shit done? Why are there thousands of ways and none works or atleast at a easy way? Make an object for this, make an object for that...
THIS IS RETARDED.
In PHP a simple "file_get_contents" would do the job. I were even down for some curl shenanigans if it were an easy implementation. BUT GOD DAMN.
URL url = new URL("http://fuckinghardcoded.com")
Oh no can't compile because that MIGHT be an invalid URL. Ok try catch this or just tell the rest of the Programm to watch out for this bad boy cause he might throw a MalformedURLException.
Ditch that and try volley. Everything is document except how to fire that queue! Does it do that by itself? Do I really have to do an override to a function while declaring? CMON ON I'M A WEBDEV IS THIS TRYING TO DO A FUCKING CALLBACK AND IS THIS TRYING TO BE AN ANONYMOUS FUNCTION??? Why is this so frustrating and confusing? I'm also mad at myself this is dropdead simple shit but I can't get it to work. Fuck this, fuck java , fuck android and fuck myself10 -
So I got an e-mail from a recruiter (a.k.a. recruiter spam) today looking for a candidate with four "essential skills" and my head almost exploded when I read what they were. I have regained my composure just enough to be able to write this rant, but I'm still not myself. I recommend sitting down for this. Are you ready?
The four "essential skills" were:
Java, Jenkins, Eclipse, IntelliJ
I don't know where to begin. Motherfucker, where do you get off telling me which IDE to use? Oh wait, you didn't, you expected me to be an "expert" with two completely different ones, you numb nuts. Why the fuck would I be? I swear to fuck these idiots would probably screen out the best programmer in the world because s/he uses VI/emacs/Atom/Sublime/fucking-Notepad.
I can hear them saying "oh, you don't know IntelliJ? Sorry, we need an expert in that."
Fuck off you filthy cunt! No, sorry, I take that back, I shouldn't be mean to the mentally disabled.
Also, Jenkins? Really? Any developer can pick up how to use Jenkins to its full effect in a matter of hours, or a couple of days at most.
Why do companies hire these jackasses to do a job as important as recruitment? Why do they write job specs that are so incredibly stupid? I almost replied to express interest so I could go to the interview and throw a bucket of red paint on them (because they're making me bleed inside).
Where's the Tylenol?5 -
Warning: American perspective of some shit that happens in America that I do not know if it is the same in other places of the world.
I got a notification from my child's school saying that she has been selected for doing <bs activity> between the hours of 1-3 and that parent cooperation is expected. I called the institution and told them that she would not be participating. They asked me WHY, to which I answered that said schedule does not align with my daily schedule. They continue to press as to WHY she would not make it to which I added in a very harsh tone: "because I am fucking working and my wife is fucking working, what age do you think it is? the 1950s in which I can have some meaningless desk job and pay for a house that would be worth half a mil now a days when my wife stays at home all day and just goes with whatever whim y'all have?"
Needless to say, she is no longer in said activity group, but this seems to be very frequent inside of school systems in the U.S, they really ain't evolved much.
No, wait, they have, we have active shooter trainings now, that shit is semi-new.14 -
I am DONE with this woman.
Background: we're a team of 3 developers and I'm the junior in this team and I've been in this shit for a year now. 2 months ago the team leader left for another project and I had to stand in for him in every responsibility against the PM and other teams.
Now I not only had to endure this insecure woman but I was also supposed to work with her! Fast-forward to today, the team leader is back and I thought I could put my headphones on and work peacefully at last.
But no!
I've found out she's sent a faulty code to production - no big deal - and said that over chat (although she's sitting right behind me):
Me: We need to fix this.
Her: What?
Me: *giving some details about the issue*
Her: Your attitude is important when you ask me to do something. Whenever you're writing to me you're typing on your keyboard like you're going to break it on my head.
*me not knowing what to say at this point because we had something stupid like this before*
Me: So you're offended by the sound my keyboard makes? (I have mx brown switches by the way and they're not even loud)
Her: No you're typing too fast when you're writing to me. The sound echoes in the office.
...
Can you fucking believe this shit? I hate people that think they can educate me but have no idea how to rationally respond to situations and take responsibility! I didn't even say anything!
And she's been saying to me she hadn't had a problem with any other people for gazillion years who knows how long and why would she cause a problem now! And thinks I am the problem, fuck YOU!
Since you don't like receiving orders why hadn't you taken the place when the fucking guy went for another project but I had to take all the responsibility? I know why you fucking entitled bitch.
Because you HAD NO IDEA AND YOU STILL DON'T.
So shut the fuck up and do as I say.
Kind regards9 -
Really just an average week.
Just feel I need a bit of venting. (:
@meet: (monday)
- mgr: we need video transcoding and VOD ASAP.
- dev: on what server? It's expensive, especially without a GPU.
- mgr: prod is beefy. Put it there.
- dev: everything else is gonna crawl then.
- mgr: you have till the end of this week.
@demo (Friday)
- dev: k, it's ready.
- mgr: Why is everything slow??!
- dev: transcoding. Expensive.
- mgr: Why do we transcode? Never said I wanted transcode!
Can't we upload to YT?
- dev: ...yes. But will then each customer that wants VOD will need to setup YT studio and provide an endpoint and stream key.
- mgr: OK. But we're now behind schedule because of this and the customers will not be pleased.
- dev: oh, didn't know we're into gaming.
- mgr: ???
- dev: nvm, see you Monday.
...
Later Friday evening
...
*ding* mgr has added 5 new tasks to your list.
*ding* mgr subtracted 30 points from you.
reason: deadline over due.
Ya ya, the usual shenanigans.
Time to mute for the weekend.14 -
My department is focused solely on web development. Of course we are part of the major portion of I.T
The entire I.T department got acknowledged for a very important piece of software. That I wrote.
The ceremony in which we were being recognized did not listed MY department, no, they listed the ENTIRETY of I.T.
Thing is, if this product was not delivered, then I was told that the blame would be MINE (I am speaking as the head of my department) but apparently if it succeeded (which it did) it is to be attributed to people that were not even involved in the project.
My employees tried calming me down when I got upset, one of them stated that it was not even our department's effort, but mine alone. And yes, I was the one that developed the solution. By myself, with complete testing, staging, the whole works. Everything, developed by me. BUT my employees held the entire department down while I was behind close doors developing this solution.
I was fucking upset, more so because my director sent an email thanking the entire I.T department for this "win"
I asked him through or messaging service if he could point out to me who else was involved, since I did not know of anyone else that did absolutely anything in this process other than myself and my guys.
Maybe the output of my program was parsed by another I.T department and something happened from it, maybe the money generated by the application (obscene amounts of it btw) were used to add more to the infrastructure etc, who knows, but as far as I know, you cannot say "if this fails it is on you" just for them to later on thank people that were not involved in the project.
This is why I would gladly move on to a different field. I don't want to be patted on the back constantly, I know how fucking good I am at what I do. But if I do something amazing I do not want to see those efforts being given to someone else.
The dev world is usually a thankless industry, but if thanks are given, then I want the sole credit.
If I am winning or loosing I want the whole fucking credit and you can be any more gangstah than that.10 -
This rant goes to my best friend.
Fuck you!
You do not fucking argue with people for doing what they like! So what if I want to use linux? What fucking problem does that make? Am I now a hacker fanboy for wanting to use a terminal instead of fucking pointing and clicking on shit like a monkey? Am I not allowed to want my privacy and free open-source? What? I shouldn't browse internet without getting my personal info stolen? Oh, they're tracking criminals? Then why don't you install a camera in your fucking living room so you can help them out? And don't fucking get me started on why I don't want to use Windows 10.
Fuck fucking fuck fuck. I know he's a good friend but this fucking shit gets my blood boiling.8 -
Real fact: 1999
IT: IT, how can I help?
MrB: I'm Butcheek. This program is shit, I can't even log-in!
IT: oh.. Ok Mr. Butcheek, let’s see if I can help...
MrB: of course you can: fix this shitty program and made me log in!
IT: I’ll try to do my best to assist you, can you...
MrB: I just want to log in! Can you speak my language? This new program is ridiculous, I wonder why you IT guys changed the old one, it was a mess but at least I could log in...
IT: I'm sorry you are experiencing this problem, but to assist you I need to know exactly what's the problem
MrB: I CANT LOG IN!!!
IT: ok, I understand this, but can you please provide some more information? Do you receive any particular error messages?
MrB: it says “wrong password” but it's not true!
IT: Ok, that's strange. Look, I'm resetting your password and then you will try again. At the first log in you will be asked to change it again, ok?
MrB: just be quick, I can't waste any more time on this!
IT: sure... Ok done. Please, can you try again? The password is “butcheek”
MrB: it asks for the username. What am I supposed to write here?
IT: “butcheek”
MrB: oh... Ok. And what's the password?
IT: “butcheek”
MrB:... No... Wait... Ok, “butcheek” is the password but what's the username?
IT: “butcheek”!
MrB: you don't understand, I have to put both username AND password!
IT: I know! “butcheek”! For both username AND password!
MrB: so I have to write “butcheek”-”butcheek”?
IT: yes, “butcheek”-”butcheek”!
MrB: so... “butcheek”...twice? Sounds weird... are you sure?
IT: yes I'm sure! However, you can choose either to write “butcheek” twice or “ASS” once, if you prefer...4 -
Yes yes yes
Let's spend countless hours writing painful spaghetti that generates a financial report, extend that spaghetti for specs, then not bother to check the amounts or status. or where it says the money went. Nope, checking non-unique names is totally good enough. We're so good at this. Ten points to the legendaries.
Let's also make the object factories not create the objects correctly, and make sure that report includes entries for orders that don't include any actual payments. Oh, their status? "Ready to send" of course! Let's send that totally valid $0.00 to nobody!
Oh, but Root. Root, root, root. You can't ADD payments to this. no no no. if you do, it'll break specs everywhere else that uses that factory! Shame on you for suggesting it.
Pssh, now you want to make a payment just for this report? Why would you do that? Our best devs have been working on this for years! What could you possibly know that they don't? No, they're perfect. Don't touch them. Just make them better, okay? No take, only throw!5 -
Am I really unlucky, or are juniors these days all lazy af and such pampered babies that need hand holding all the time?
So back when I was a junior, when I wanted to learn something new, I would ask for some pointers from my seniors, could be an article, a video or even a book. From there I would look up further knowledge, play with the idea in my machine. If I couldn't understand something, or if I needed a better explanation of something, I would go back to my senior, but it was really rare.
Then comes this modern day, I'm the senior now and I'm in charge of mentoring a bunch of kids, who would treat me like their personal chatgpt. "Hey Junior #0, this is something you may want to read to help your next ticket, let me know if you have difficulty". Next day junior #0 would come back and say "I don't understand, the article mentioned X but I don't know how to do X. Can you show me how to do X?". Bro, no one knows how to do X after being born, just google "how to do X" and it gives you the fucking answer. Why the fuck do you have to circle back to me because of this. Junior #1 would refuse to read any articles longer than 250 words, and require constant 1-1 meetings to give him personal lectures. Dude this is not a class room, grow the fuck up! Junior #3 would write the messiest code possible despite my efforts to introduce tons of resources, then complain "why I'm still junior, how do I grow". Bro maybe if you learned half of what I sent you, you would have gotten promote by now. Fucking lazy kids these days!
Oh I can't fire these juniors. Top management was very clear that "we don't have budget to hire other devs for you, it's your responsibility to train them better".22 -
Today I had the pleasure to introduce to my Professor (who teaches Python) that you could cause a keyboard interrupt typing Ctrl-c. Her logic was that "Ctrl-c is for Copy" and the only way to end a infinite Loop in the shell is to, "X out the Window." She also clearly has never dealt with linux or terminals.13
-
Okay, That right there is pathetic https://thehackernews.com/2019/02/... .
First of all telekom was not able to assure their clients' safety so that some Joe would not access them.
Second of all after a friendly warning and pointing a finger to the exact problem telekom booted the guy out.
Thirdly telekom took a defensive position claiming "naah, we're all good, we don't need security. We'll just report any breaches to police hence no data will be leaked not altered" which I can't decide whether is moronic or idiotic.
Come on boys and girls... If some chap offers a friendly hand by pointing where you've made a mistake - fix the mistake, Not the boy. And for fucks sake, say THANK YOU to the good lad. He could use his findings for his own benefit, to destroy your service or even worse -- sell that knowledge on black market where fuck knows what these twisted minds could have done with it. Instead he came to your door saying "Hey folks, I think you could do better here and there. I am your customes and I'd love you to fix those bugzies, 'ciz I'd like to feel my data is safe with you".
How on earth could corporations be that shortsighted... Behaviour like this is an immediate red flag for me, shouting out loud "we are not safe, do not have any business with us unless you want your data to be leaked or secretly altered".
Yeah, I know, computer misuse act, etc. But there are people who do not give a tiny rat's ass about rules and laws and will find a way to do what they do without a trace back to them. Bad boys with bad intentions and black hoodies behind TOR will not be punished. The good guys, on the other hand, will.
Whre's the fucking logic in that...
P.S. It made me think... why wouldn't they want any security vulns reported to them? Why would they prefer to keep it unsafe? Is it intentional? For some special "clients"? Gosh that stinks6 -
One of classmates presented an idea of children tinder as her final project. (To find friends, not...you know..)
So, after a pretty logical question how they're going to prevent it from turning into a platform for kidnappers, they said 'I don't know, not my problem, tinder doesn't do it, Facebook doesn't, it's not my sphere of responsibility. And as a developer I cannot guarantee anything, why are you asking me this you're wrong'
Bravo.
P.s. idk why both of my latest posts are about tinder lol13 -
Backstory: Offering manager brings a project through a few months of requirements gathering / feasibility study etc. Project spends 8 months with a R&D team to flesh out. Our team gets 6 months to turn it into a ship able product. 4 months in, offering manager calls a meeting.
OM: ok so you are all working on project X, well I need your input on something
Team: Ok, go ahead
OM: what do you think the app needs to do?
Team: ... I'm sorry?
OM: well we've been looking at it, and we don't think it does very much compared to existing apps. We need a killer feature but we don't know what. Any ideas?
Team: well we were looking at project Y originally, which was a lot more advanced. But you pulled the plug in favour of this.
OM: yeah, believe me customers will want project X a lot more. It just needs to do something interesting ... you know what I mean?
Team: not really, if it doesn't have anything, why did we go for it?
OM: ok I don't think I'm being clear. Point is, if anyone has any ideas let me know, we need to ship it in 2 months and it needs to be killer
I handed in my notice that week and was asked why ... let's just say I told them. -
I don't understand why people are making a fuss about Facebook.
It's free to use, the amount of users kept increasing (thus the cost of maintenance) yet the company kept getting bigger and bigger. Obviously they're not making all their money off the advertisements on Facebook's own website.
So why are people so surprised that they're "selling" user information?
This is really funny to me. Especially the media joining in saying that it makes all your information available to everybody when they're actually talking about the fact that the majority of Facebook users have their profile set to public and they can be easily found with a simple Google search.
People are so fucking hypocritical it makes me want to puke. If you don't want anybody to know what you posted, just don't fucking post it on a SOCIAL MEDIA in the first place.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that facebook is all flowers and love, they clearly didn't handle this situation well. They could have done something about this whole situation when it started instead of waiting for things to blow out of proportion.
However, people are just being assholes now. I highly doubt that they're reading all chats nor are they sending it over, they're probably just sending out some words you mention often so that it is pertinent for advertisers (ex. If you use the word computer next to buy, then maybe that triggers something). I could talk extensively about it but I'm way too lazy, the point is, they most likely aren't sending the nudes you sent to advertisers because that does not provide any benefits.
If you don't like Facebook, don't fucking use it. Delete your account and shut the fuck up. When you screw up in real life, there's no takesies backsies, why the fuck do people think it doesn't apply online? The government gathers up quite a lot of information on you yet I don't see you crying your eyes out.
Why the fuck do you care so much if an advertisement is tailored to specifically? Yeah, you talked about dildos and now you see dildo ads from Amazon, not happy? Just download adblock and shut up. If you're gullible and the moment you see an ad about single women in your area you click on the ad because you want to get laid right now, that's your problem.
Don't want people knowing about some aspects of your private life? Don't share it online.
Stop acting like people are any better at keeping secrets, I'm sure you had some people leak your secrets at least once, yet I doubt you sued them and you brought them to court.
===========
I'm sorry about this, it's just that Facebook is all over the news and I'm getting sick of it.
Also, I hate facebook, I'm not necessarily defending it, I'm more pissed at the medias for blowing this situation out of proportion.22 -
Manager: "Hi Almond, how is X going?"
Almond: "...I don't know, Bob is in charge of that."
Manager: "Ok. Do you know the status of Y at all?"
Almond: "Not sure, isn't that Bob's responsibility too?"
Manager: "Well, yeah, but I never seem to be able to get a good answer out of him. Find out on both fronts and let me know ASAP please"
...sure, I know how this goes. I'll stop all the dev work I'm doing, do your job for you, talk to the lazy bonehead that never bothers doing anything, report back that he's done sod all (or still "in a requirements gathering phase" as he puts it), be asked "why is he taking so long", have a bit more back and forth, then decide we'll just leave him be as actually trying to get him to do any work is going to be too much like hassle 😒6 -
Me : *trying to download latest version of android studio*
Google: "Your client does not have permission to get URL /studio/index.html from this server. That’s all we know."
Me: FUCK YOU GOOGLE
Me: *googles: دانلود اندروید استودیو* (which means download android studio)
*and downloads it from a random website*
It happens every goddamn time, why the fuck i can't download this shit !? Because these countries are fighting each other all the time! What did i do wrong in my life? I just want to download your fucking app to write another shitty app to continue my fucking life. I don't know shit about this wars happening, I'm just a dev like others all over the world.
Downloading an app, is that too much to ask? Well fuck you then.14 -
YouTube, why the fuck do you put ads at the end of the video? Who's gonna watch those?! I'm not a marketer but I do know that people watch ads in expectation of something better. Who.. who the fuck thought this would be a good idea?! Fire that certified piece of shit marketing cunt already! What the fuck is even wrong with you nowadays Google?! Pinnacle of tech company my ass.4
-
Don't you hate it when your co-worker does dumb things, but thinks it's the "clean code" way?
The following is a conversation between me and a co-worker, who thinks he's superior to everyone because he thinks he's the only one who read the Clean Code series. Let's call him Bill.
Me: I think the feature we need is quite simple, our application needs to call this third party API, parse the response and pass it to the next step. Why do you need to bury everything under an abstraction of 4 layers?
Bill: bEcAuSe It'S dEcOuPlInG, aNd MaKe ThE cOdE tEsTaBlE
Me: I don't know man, you only need to abstract the third party api client, and then mock it if you want. Some interfaces you define makes no sense at all. For example, this interface only has 1 concrete implementation, and I don't think it will ever have another. Besides, the concrete implementation only gets the input from the upper layer and passes it down the lower layer. Why the extra step? I feel like you're using interface just for the sake of interface.
Bill: PrOgRaMmInG tO iNtErFaCe, NoT cOnCrEtE iPlEmEnTaTiOn!!!
Me: You keep saying those words, I don't think they mean what you think they mean. But they certainly do not mean that every method argument must be an interface
Bill: BuT uNcLe BoB blah blah blah...
Me: *gives up all hope*14 -
HR: you didn’t write in your job experience that you know kubernetes and we need people who know it.
Me: I wrote k8s
HR: What’s that ?
…
Do you know docker ?
Do you know what docker is ?
Do you use cloud ?
Can you read and write ?
Are you able to open the door with your left hand ?
What if we cut your hands and tell you to open the doors, how would you do that ?
What are your salary expectations?
Do you have questions, I can’t answer but I can forward them. Ask question, ask question, questions are important.
What is minimal wage you will agree to work ?
You wrote you worked with xy, are you comfortable with yx ?
We have fast hiring process consisting of 10 interviews, 5 coding assessments, 3 talks and finally you will meet the team and they will decide if you fit.
Why do you want to work … here ?
Why you want to work ?
How dare you want to work ?
Just find work, we’re happy you’re looking for it.
What databases you know ?
Do you know nosql databases ?
We need someone that knows a,b,c,d….x,y,z cause we use 1,2,3 … 9,10.
We need someone more senior in this technology cause we have more junior people.
Are you comfortable with big data?
We need someone who spoke on conference cause that’s how we validate that people can speak.
I see you haven’t used xy for a while ( have 5 years experience with xy ) we need someone who is more expert in xy.
How many years of experience you have in yz ??? (you need to guess how many we want cause we look for a fortune teller )
Not much changed in job hunting, taking my time to prepare to leetcode questions about graphs to get a job in which they will tell me to move button 1px to the left.
Need to make up some stories about how I was bad person at work and my boss was angry and told me to be better so I become better and we lived happy ever after. How I argued with coworkers but now I’m not arguing cause I can explain. How bad I was before and how good I am now. Cause you need to be a better person if you want to work in our happy creepy company.
Because you know… the tree of DOOM… The DOMs day.5 -
Just now I realized that for some reason I can't mount SMB shares to E: and H: anymore.. why, you might ask? I have no idea. And troubleshooting Windows.. oh boy, if only it was as simple as it is on Linux!!
So, bimonthly reinstall I guess? Because long live good quality software that lasts. In a post-meritocracy age, I guess that software quality is a thing of the past. At least there's an option to reset now, so that I don't have to keep a USB stick around to store an installation image for this crap.
And yes Windows fanbois, I fucking know that you don't have this issue and that therefore it doesn't exist as far as you're concerned. Obviously it's user error and crappy hardware, like it always is.
And yes Linux fanbois, I know that I should install Linux on it. If it's that important to you, go ahead and install it! I'll give you network access to the machine and you can do whatever you want to make it run Linux. But you can take my word on this - I've tried everything I could (including every other distro, custom kernels, customized installer images, ..), and it doesn't want to boot any Linux distribution, no matter what. And no I'm not disposing of or selling this machine either.
Bottom line I guess is this: the OS is made for a user that's just got a C: drive, doesn't rely on stuff on network drives, has one display rather than 2 (proper HDMI monitor recognition? What's that?), and God forbid that they have more than 26 drives. I mean sure in the age of DOS and its predecessor CP/M, sure nobody would use more than 26 drives. Network shares weren't even a thing back then. And yes it's possible to do volume mounts, but it's unwieldy. So one monitor, 1 or 2 local drives, and let's make them just use Facebook a little bit and have them power off the machine every time they're done using it. Because keeping the machine stable for more than a few days? Why on Earth would you possibly want to do that?!!
Microsoft Windows. The OS built for average users but God forbid you depart from the standard road of average user usage. Do anything advanced, either you can't do it at all, you can do it but it's extremely unintuitive and good luck finding manuals for it, or you can do it but Windows will behave weirdly. Because why not!!!16 -
Already wrote about wk92 but i have to add:
STOP MAKING ME ATTEND COURSES SO I AM EVEN ALLOWED TO TAKE EXAMS.
Like what the hell. You know when it comes to networking i'm doing okayish, coding straight A and then there is maths, let's not talk about it. BUT FFS I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE 2 OF MY CODING EXAMS THIS SEMESTER CUS I DIDN'T VISIT 2-3 EVENTS OF IT.
I am a coder. I aspire being a coder. I study software development. I just need to prove myself and some dudes can do it. Let me do my thing.
Btw, there weren't any mandatory events for maths. Of course. Why should there be. Yeah okay7 -
You guys wanna know why I rage so much at the 🤡🤡🤡's I work with?
I shit you not, this is a ticket in our "to do" section of our Jira.
what even is ticket linking??!?!?
what even are tickets??!?!?!
or better yet.... what even the fuck is jira?!?!?! I've only been using it for over a year, give me some time to figure out how to use it!!!!!!
I don't know, maybe i'm the asshole. But at least I don't feel like a 🤡7 -
Scenario 1
Friend 1:"Hey, you're good at computers right?"
Me:"Erm yup."
Friend 1:"Can you hack Instagram? I've lost my password."
Me:"Oh My God."
Scenario 2
Me looking at a friend's unity C# code
Me:"You know there's an enter key right? Why is your code horizontal not vertical?"
(Means that after a semi-colon he continues his code)
Friend 2:"I like to read my code in horizontal, that feels natural to me"
Me:"What ever, as long as it works. But why do you have so many if function inside another if function?"
Friend 2:"Cuz I want the player to do this while moving"
Me:".........."3 -
I have not remotely had the energy to post here. Nor reply. And it is a shame because most of you I consider friends. And if not friends, at least excellent aquitances.
People make comments, I dont reply. People make threads, and I dont respond. People make ++s, and I'm a ghost.
I enjoyed shitposting, and asking questions, and hopefully entertaining some of you. I really do.
I'm just in a funk where nothing seems to matter right now and I dont know why, pr how to get out of it.
I have threads, and responses from scor, nanos, nachoscode, and a dozen others I usually enjoy interacting with and it's like all the life has just been sucked right out of me.
I feel isolated and alienated from everything and everyone and I dont know why or when it started. Its just..there. nor how to talk about it.
I think I'm becoming a misanthrope or something. The more I go on with this sensation, the less I want to be around people, and I dont understand why.15 -
Do you have a ‘Drama Queen’ on your team?
This happened last week.
DK = Drama Queen
DK: “OMG..the link to the document isn’t working! All I get is page not found. I’m supposed to update the notes for this project…and now I can’t! What the _bleep_ and I supposed to do now?!...I don’t understand how …”
This goes on for it seems 5 minutes.
Me: “Hold on...someone probably accidently mistyped the file name or something. I’m sure the document is still there.”
DK: “Well, I’ll never find it. Our intranet is a mess. I’m going to have to tell the PM that the project is delayed now and there is nothing I can do about it because our intranet is such a mess.”
Me: “Maybe, but why don’t you open up the file and see where the reference is?”
DK: “Oh, _bleep_ no…it is HTML…I don’t know anything about HTML. If the company expects me to know HTML, I’m going to have to tell the PM the project is delayed until I take all the courses on W3-Schools.”
Me: “Um…you’ve been developing as long as I have and you have a couple of blogs. You know what an anchor tag is. I don’t think you have to take all those W3 courses. It’s an anchor tag with a wrong HREF, pretty easy to find and fix”
DK: “Umm…I know *my* blog…not this intranet mess. Did you take all the courses on W3-Schools? Do you understand all the latest web html standards?”
Me: “No, but I don’t think W3 has anything to do the problem. Pretty sure I can figure it out.”
DK: “ha ha…’figuring it out’. I have to know every detail on how the intranet works. What about the javascript? Those intranet html files probably have javascript. I can’t make any changes until I know I won’t break anything. _bleep_! Now I have to learn javascript! This C# project will never get done. The PM is going to be _bleep_issed! Great..and I’ll probably have to work weekends to catch up!”
While he is ranting…I open up the html file, locate the misspelling, fix it, save it..
Me: “Hey..it’s fixed. Looks like Karl accidently added a space in the file name. No big deal.”
DK:”What!!! How did you…uh…I don’t understand…how did you know what the file name was? What if you changed something that broke the page? How did you know it was the correct file? I would not change anything unless I understood every detail. You’re gonna’ get fired.”
Me: “Well, it’s done. Move on.”9 -
!rant
Just started working for a new company. Super cool. Just like the last one (as far as perks), except they actually trust their devs.
Old company: Make sure your code is extensible
Devs at old company: You know it's not written in stone right?
Old company: Does that mean you can make it do this?
Devs at old company: No. That's the wrong code base
New company: I need a feature. Get it done when you can
New company devs: Well, guess I'll take some time to refactor all this stuff while I'm at it
~Some time later~
New company: Thanks, that feature works great!
No staring over shoulders, asking when it will be done. No asking why we want to refactor something. As long as work continues to flow, there are no issues. It's great!
Also, if we want to try a new tech, we just have to put together a short paper explaining why it will work better in that situation than the tech that's already in place. -
Got a call from a recruiter today
Recruiter: I'm trying to fill a full stack position in Charlotte.
Me: not interested
R: why
M: I hate NC
R: what can I do to make you reconsider
M: I want 120k
R: Ok, well please pass this opportunity along if you know someone who is looking
I *actually* just moved from there.
Guess someone didn't read my job history.
Convo was seriously less than a minute.9 -
GF: How was your pitch to investors?
Me: it was great (... went-ahead to talk about the daunting process of the preparation and motivation).
GF: Why do you go through all this process, when you can become a fraudster, you can use voodoo and make it even easier, in less than 3 months you can buy a duplex, nice car and we can go shopping... you don't need to do any human ritual unlike before - I heard you can even meet a chief priest to make it faster for you.
just get the bag abeg (slang for getting rich quick).
Me: Fuck the day I met you, not everyone wants to be a low-life, and fuck out from my life.
Men if you live in a saner society, or you are born to elite/upper-middle-class you don't how lucky you are.
Most times I wonder how I keep my sanity with all these shitty people around. like messed up society where almost everyone is a fucking deep hypocrite
.I know I need to change my circle but how the fuck do I do that when I am surrounded by fuckstards, which are far worst than Gypsies.
lowlifes with low dreams.
I need to get the fuck out of this place!15 -
Frack! I just found out I have to video record a friend's wedding. Why? Apparently because I'm a developer I suddenly know all things electronic and interacting with humans must be something I enjoy. I do not. Darn my wife and her persuasive sexual superpowers.
Me: "But...but...they are your friends, not mine."
Wife: "If you do this, someone else might have a good wedding night"
Me: *sigh* "What time do I need to be there?"
The family doesn't have much money and can't afford a professional videographer, so I understand (been there), but I'm probably going to have to smile, be nice and..ugh...socialize.5 -
DO NOT be afraid to argue with people. It doesnt matter who they are. Senior engineers, tech leads, delivery managers, if you know something is wrong make it heard. I made a point of telling my Project Manager that the current project is the worst ive ever seen. The technology is awful and we all hate the development. They need to know this stuff. And if they come to you with a deadline that you dont think you can make, say it then and there. Then they cant come back and say why isnt this done. Basically dont just do as youre told. If we needed that we would get robots to do our job. We need people who think and have opinions and make those opinions heard at the appropriate level.2
-
How difficult is it to do things and do them properly? Clearly in 2019, very difficult. And why on Earth would you do things properly, when there's get rich quick schemes, shortcuts to be found and taken, and that filthy filthy legal tender. If the shitty implementation makes a profit, why do it properly? Makes no sense.
Except it fucking does. And you know why? Because of the guy that comes after you, that works with your fucking bullshit implementation and probably curses you to the moon and beyond in the process. Just like you probably did with the guy that came before you, with that bullshit you got tasked to work with. Don't be that guy. And don't be that guy to the next guy.
Still with me? Good. Here's the thing. You can do [insert job here] quick and dirty. But you're guaranteed to be checking back on it and fixing the crap later on. Or worse yet, someone else will be cursing you to the moon and beyond while they are fixing / working around your crap. So why not do it right in the first place? Is this why we can't have nice things?5 -
Voting feels like shit.
Seriously. Why? Because I have to vote for parties and representatives that might have one interest in common with me but go against my points of view almost all of the time. "We'll introduce a freedom of information act and legalize weed for better drug policy and youth protection!" -- WOW Great I'll vote for yo .. " ...and we'll also come to your home kill your dog, rape your family and shit in your back yard." -- oh f*** WHY? why do I have to live in a system were I am constantly forced to trade shit for even worse shit? Why can't I vote for policies or at least some kind of 'single' - issue representative?
I know that solving this problem is not easy and I do not claim to have the magical solution. "Not voting is even worse" sure but I am getting so fucking tired of it. It doesn't feel like progression and it sure as hell does not feel like it matters because in the end of the day you are just voting for the party that's at least going to use lube when raping you. I hate these ad hominem politics where we don't discuss the ideas but the people who represent them. I honestly don't give a fuck about who you are, if you're gay, married, or are left-wing, right-wing, conservative or liberal, in the end its about finding a good solution for everyone and not about the people implementing it. I don't care about politicians private lifes or worldviews (in terms of ideals, morals, religion etc.) , I care about finding the solutions to problems and having a wide array of opinions in order to discuss ideas and to find a valid and good way to go forward. "you can't agree with that person at all, because he's evil", yeah you know what? I don't care. It's about the ideas, arguments, discussions and solutions, not about the people who discuss them.
"I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I
screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me...
Or feels threatened by me...
Or thinks I'm a smart ass...
Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...
Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike."34 -
is it just me, or do some people just make life difficult for the fucking sake of making life difficult?
now, lets ignore the lack of sanitised data, lets also ignore the lack of prepared statements, and for the love of god... lets ignore some magic numbers, because I still don't know what they mean yet....
but why! why would you create an array, implode it, smash it into a database query on the fucking fly, instead of just adding the data into the query in the first place.... it's not like you were doing this right to begin with, but this... this is next level!29 -
What a lazy fuck.
This so called full-stack developer doesn't know how to use mysql from command line. The only way he can do anything in the database is using phpMyAdmin or MySQL gui.
What? How do you even call yourself a developer when you don't know how to use basic command line tools?
The fucker wants me to find out why a particular feature is not working?
Why the fuck are you being paid for? You stupid idiot.
"Can you please grep ... in the server?"
What? Why would I do that for you? How about you ssh the server yourself?
What a waste of time.5 -
Why the fuck did Oracle change their policies on the official JDK and made the website nigh impossible to use?!
It was shit from the 90s before, and now its still shit just modern.
Why do I have to register do get the JDK, you know Im going to use the fucking 10min mail. I just wanted to setup a freaking build server and I had to go over your retarded website that for some reason *refreshes* and erases the username field everytime I put in the wrong password. Why?
Why is oracle just outright bad at making websites?! Its always a maze to navigate and now it also takes seconds to even load...
This shit is why everyone uses openJDK and adopt. 3 billion devices running java?! Not with your jre/jdk they are not, because It's a pain to get... Don't me even get started on the mess it does on windows server. Why wasn't my JAVA_HOME set automatically?! I lost almost 2 hours because I trusted your piece of shit software to so the one job it has, even reinstalled it completely...
Get your shit together Oracle, this was unacceptable 10 years ago, let alone now9 -
So, I'm investigating this flipping problem at work involving mbeans. Other than the fact that it's a fun fucking word to say, idk a damn thing about it, and the people who are having problems with them/it are looking at me like I'm a fucking pregnant triceratops... HOW THE HELL am I supposed to fix your shit if you aren't going to tell me why you need mbeans, what you do to cause the error, and what you do to make it go away. YOU'RE GIVING ME LESS THAN NOTHING... on a temperature scale, we're in negative Kelvin...
Also, anyone know what in the world an mbean in? Because right now, these overpaid idiots are making me think it's not a thing and just another way of saying "coffee"10 -
Non-technical manager who been managing my team for years: "hey can you take a look at this log?"
*log is all PHP*
Us: "we're iOS devs, none of us know PHP"
Manager: "well why not?"
HOW DO YOU GET PAID MORE THAN US4 -
So one year ago, when I was second year in college and first year doing coding, I took this fun math class called topics in data science, don't ask why it's a math class.
Anyway for this class we needed to do a final project. At the time I teamed up with a freshman, junior and a senior. We talked about our project ideas I was having random thoughts, one of them is to look at one of the myths of wikipedia: if you keep clicking on the first link in the main paragraph, and not the prounounciation, eventually you will get to philosophy page.
The team thought it was a good idea and s o we started working.
The process is hard since noe of us knew web scraping at the time, and the senior and the junior? They basically didn't do shit so it's me and the freshman.
At the end, we had 20000 page links and tested their path to philosophy. The attached picture is a visualization of the project, and every node is a page name and every line means the page is connected.
This is the first open project and the first python project that I have ever done. Idk if it is something good enough that I can out on my resume, but definitely proud of this.
PS: if you recognize the picture, you probably know me. If you were the senior or the junior in the team, I'm not sorry for saying you didn't do shit cuz that's the truth. If you were the freshman, I am very happy to have you as a teamate.3 -
Why do a lot of people on this site get away with typos? I mean, we're supposed to be devs, typos kill us.. From 'postion' instead of 'position', i can do this all day.. i get it, the point is getting the thought across, and, by all means, the thought came across just fine.. it just irks the mind thinking its supposed to be a dev community yet, quite ironically, it is peppered with typos.. dont even wanna get started with the your/you're, the there/their/they're and the than/then.. i mean, how can you not know its proper usage? Is it really that hard? If you can't use it properly, then don't.. if you can't form a sentence without using it, consider not saying/posting and get back to school first..
Imagine an internet where one corner could at least be decent enough to be proficient in the simplest thing: using words..70 -
Not really a rant, but here goes...
I want to personally thank each and every member of devRant! Here’s why. (First, a little boring backstory): I’m visually impaired, and stuck in quarantine like the rest of us. (Not totally blind, but y’all definitely DO NOT want me out on the roads driving,) I also work a Tech Support job which largely deals with macOS. Due to this eye condition, there simply isn’t a lot of shit to do while stuck in the house other than work and learn node.js. So my pastime has largely been to sit and read Facebook while not on the clock. One day, while working from home, I was so bored and pissed off, I googled “macOS fucking sucks” for fun, and found devRant! Your stories, jokes and rants have turned my life around! I’m no longer on Facebook. (I know, I know, but what’s a half-blind guy to do except read about COVID-19 and get more pissed off at the state of the world?) and you guys have inspired me to start learning new things and delve deeper into node, which I had put down for awhile (I’m at a kindergarten level anyway, brand new). Anyway, thanks again! I’ll refrain from asking stupid questions, I promise. But I need a TechSupportRant now...6 -
How can some developers send emails like "I did <x> and <y> right, but I still have an error!" with NO copy/paste of the error? Come on, you hate user emails that just say "Your site doesn't work." You should know better.
I'm going to just start answering with "Wow, that sucks, and you did everything right, huh? It must just hate you." I shouldn't have to go force you to tell me what the problem actually is at that basic level.
I used to think this was a user thing. We wouldn't do that... hah, lost user, oh well, that's why we're helping them. Apparently it's not.6 -
Why does MS need to be such a scumbag with Windows updates?
Every now and then, this unskipable blue setup screen appears and forces the user to make some decisions.
"Do you want to set Edge as the default browser?"
"Do you want a 360 subscription?"
The usual crap.
But it‘s not skippable!
You have to make a decision and the UI for "fuck off" is different for every decision.
You can‘t just press the Nope button every time.
It‘s fucking deliberate. They want you to spend time on reading their shit and force it down your throat.
And let‘s not forget about people who don‘t know computer stuff very well and are confused by this. Then call us because "the computer isn‘t working again."
And you can‘t tell them to skip this slimy rotten vomit of a marketing weasel because you need them to tell you what the options are for each fucking decision screen.
😫17 -
Facebook 2FA:
Want to log in? Sure, authorize your login. Oh you've authorized it? Nah you can't get in. Log in again.
2FA, excellent technology, except when it's implemented by "move fast and break things" Facebook.
Facebook Marketplace:
Want to buy $listing? Sure, you can send a message to the seller to ask for details. Oh, you want to send them a message? Nah sorry, you can't send messages to this person. You'll have to go to their profile, send them a message there and do it not with our le fancy instant messages but by manually typing it in. Because you know, reasons. Message approvals or something like that probably. Because why on Earth would Facebook support its own ecosystem?!
Move fast and break things. And breaking things those certified enganeers at Facebook sure do. Fucking pieces of shit.7 -
This is just one I had with my cousin who came for a visit.
Cousin: Yo bro, I want you to hack my girlfriend's Facebook?
Me: Lol, and why is that?
Cousin: I think she's cheating on me with this guy. I've seen her replying to him on fb messenger.
Me: Lol, ask her about it then if that's what you think.
Cousin: She won't talk bro. That's why I want you to hack her Facebook or even her phone so I can see who she's talking to.
Me: I can't bro.
Cousin: So you're not going to help me?
Me: Not that bro. I can't hack Facebook. I don't know how to do that stuff.
Cousin: But you have Bachelor's in CS and I've seen you writing those stuff on your computer....uhm, the code thing.
Me: Yeah, but those were school and personal programming projects. Not hacking stuff.. they're not the same.
Cousin: Oh man, what about her phone?
Me: Nope, can't do that either.
Cousin: But I've seen you hacking your Android phone... (*He saw me root my phone*)
Me: *face palm*3 -
!rant
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
For AI, in particular Deep Learning developers, practitioners, hobbyists and otherwise people interested in the field.
If you go into the Pytorch website, click on resources and scroll down you will see a link to "Deep Learning with Pytorch" by Manning publications. This will give you access to the book, a book that if memory serves me well costs about 40+ in printing and the online book format is about 29 (again, if memory serves well)
The book is currently FREE and it does not ask you for an email address, you can just tell them why you want it for and they will give you the free pdf download.
I don't know how good the book is, but have found Manning to publish really good resources.
Do with this information what you want.
And yes, I am leaving the rant tag, so that more people can see this and take advantage of the opportunity in case of being interested and not having the money to purchase the book after the promotion is done and over with. Fuck you about tags and shit.10 -
My best code review experience?
Company hired a new department manager and one of his duties was to get familiar with the code base, so he started rounds of code reviews.
We had our own coding standards (naming, indentation, etc..etc) and for the most part, all of our code would pass those standards 100%.
One review of my code was particularly brutal. I though it was perfect. In-line documentation, indentation, followed naming standards..everything. 'Tom' kept wanting to know the 'Why?'
Tom: 'This method where it validates the amount must be under 30. Why 30? Why is it hard-coded and not a parameter?'
<skip what it seemed like 50 more 'Why...?' questions>
Me: "I don't remember. I wrote that 2 years ago."
Tom: "I don't care if you wrote it yesterday. I have pages of code I want you to verify the values and answer 'Why?' to all of them. Look at this one..."
'Tom' was a bit of a hard-ass, but wow, did I learn A LOT. Coding standards are nice, but he explained understanding the 'What' is what we are paid for. Coders can do the "What" in their sleep. Good developers can read and understand code regardless of a coding standard and the mediocre developers use standards as a crutch (or worse, used as a weapon against others). Great developers understand the 'Why?'.
Now I ask 'Why?' a lot. Gotten my fair share of "I'm gonna punch you in the face" looks during a code review, but being able to answer the 'Why?' solidifies the team with the goals of the project.3 -
Am I the only one who's getting more and more aggrevated about how the large youtube channels misinform and make out VPN providers (I am looking at you, Nord VPN, mostly) as the messiahs of the internet? How they protect our data that would otherwise be in incredible "danger" otherwise?
I understand they need clients, and I know most of the YT channels probably do not know better, but... This is misinformation at best, and downright false advertising at the worst...
"But HTTP-only websites still exist!" - yes, but unlike the era before Lets Encrypt, they are a minority. Most of the important webpages are encrypted.
"Someone could MITM their connection and present a fake certificate!" - And have a huge, red warning about the connection being dangerous. If at that point, the user ignores it, I say its their fault.
Seriously... I don't know if Nord gives their partners a script or not... But... I am getting super sick of them. And is the main reason why I made my own VPN at home...15 -
I use a library and it gives me some strange error message. No problemo, just file an issue on GitHub asking the maintainer if I'm plain stupid or the lib actually has a flaw. As it was a question, I have not posted a dump and all the shit.
Maintainer responds with a snarky comment about his crystal ball being broken and I have to submit a log, a dump, debug information and a bunch of other stuff.
Well, what choice do I have, I collect all the requested information, create a wall of text comment, all nicely formatted.
And the issue ends here. Myths say, the maintainer got asked to join Elvis on Mars.
I mean, why do you ask all the shit from me in a unprofessional manner just to stop answering? Just say "I have no clue why it behaves like this" and I know whats playin. But that's just ... sad.5 -
Just hired an entry level developer in my company. Just graduated. He doesn't know what is code debugging, does not know difference between IDE and text editor like atom.
He doesn't know what is Bootstrap and git.
Gave him a task in AngularJS 1. Gave him 3 weeks and a half time. Read data from webservice, show them in table, filter, sorting and show details per record (which is easy in AngularJS. I got the same task years ago and finished in 2 days after I finished my AngularJS 1 tutorials). He did not finish any of those.
I know I'm judging but come on. What have you done these three years university? Only partying? Have not bothered reading something online? FOR THREE YEARS?
P.S. I have learned everything myself. Coding, debugging, structuring etc. I've had the bad luck that my 2 first bosses and team leader used to tell me "Do not ask anyone for help here in the office. Google is your best friend." And he encourage all developers not to help each other.
Ad I am writing this, I told him to download and install PyCharm and get back to me. It's been one hour and I have not heard anything from him. 1 Hour to download and install something. Imagine how long will it take to do a task.
Even my girlfriend (Yes, I have one), who dislikes computers can do this.
That's why I'm so frustrated.
I am thinking of firing him. Or should I give him more time?
I mean, if he can not do a simple task only by showing data in a table (which he can find them on Google, worst case scenario, how can he do more complex code, structuring it, etc ?)13 -
I know folks do their best, but come on Apple, this can't be that hard. Bought an IPhone at an estate sale (elderly individual died suddenly, so no one had knowledge of the apple id, passwords, etc) and I've been trying to convince apple to clear the activation lock. (AS = Apple Support)
<after explaining the situation>
AS: "Have you tried putting the phone in recovery mode? That should clear the lock"
Me: "I've already done that. It prompts for the apple id and password, which I don't have"
AS: "You need to talk to the owner and get the information"
Me: "As I explained, I purchased the phone at an estate sale of someone who died. I have the bill of sale, serial number, the box, obituary. What else do you need?"
AS: "Have you tried contacting a family member? They might have have that information."
Me: "The family members at the sale told us this is all they had. This kind of thing has to happen. I can't believe Apple can't clear the activation lock."
AS: "Yes, we can, but I'm very sorry we take security seriously."
Me: "I understand, what do I do now?"
AS: "Did you log out of the phone? Go to settings ..."
Me: "Yes, I tried all those steps before calling. It prompts for the AppleID and password."
AS: "Did you try entering the password?"
Me: "No, I don't have it. I already explained there is no way to know"
AS: "Yes..yes...sorry...I'm just reading the information in front of me. I found something, have you tried submitting a activation lock removal request?"
Me: "Yes, it was denied, didn't tell me why, which is why I'm calling. What about taking this phone to an Apple store? I have all the paperwork."
AS: "Sure, you can try. You might need the death certificate. The family or the coroner will have a copy."
Me: "What!? Apple requires a death certificate to unlock a phone!? I'm pretty sure not even the family is going to give a total stranger a death certificate"
AS: "Sorry sir, I'm just reading what is in front of me. Without that certificate, there is no way to prove the person died. You can try the Apple store, but they will likely require it."
Me: "That's a lot of drama for unlocking a phone. A *phone*"
AS: "Yes sir, I understand. If there anything else we can do let us know and thank you for being an a apple customer."
Next stop, the Apple Store.12 -
TL;DR: Why does that online shop NOT support paypal?
I'm a LITTLE pissed.
I wanted to buy some stuff online (since my gf birthday comes closer and I have no city, no car nearby to go shopping) - and this website doesn't support paypal. You know why? Because they had to high fees.
Why on earth don't they do it like any other online shop?! - the user can pay with paypal for a little more % or €.
I don't have an actual credit card but the thing you can get <18yo. Paypal works with it but I can't use any other payment option.13 -
This is the first time I have inherited a project. ever. I have always seen people on devrat ranting about inherited projects. Never had I experienced it.
Now, the design agency that hired me would outsource web projects to developers before hiring me. I was recommended to them.
Now then. Today I was tasked to fix a couple of issues a previous outsourced developer had abandoned. I had a look at the issues and started fixing them one after the other. Its a wordpress project. Coding for wordpress is super fucking easy by the way.
You create a default page by going to the admin dashboard.
You can create a custom page by creating a page-PageName.php file. and place all the bullshit you have for the custom page IN THAT FILE.
So this developer who i assumed claimed to be a professional. PASTED ALL THE FUCKING HTML IN THE WYSIWYG TEXTBOX. WHO THE FUCK EVEN DOES THAT?
THIS WAS A FUCKING SIMPLE TASK. THIS ASSHOLE CREATED A CUSTOM PAGE CALLED HOMEPAGE AND PASTED THE HTML IN THE TEXTBOX. WHY THE FUCK?! ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY DUDE? AND OH MY GOD DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO WRITE HTML WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THAT " CRAP. YOU MY FUCKING FRIEND IS THE FUCKING REASON THIS PLATFORM EXISTS. BE PROUD. YOU MADE A DIFFERENCE. YOU CAUSED A PLATFORM TO BE CREATED.
PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR AND NEVER FUCKING TOUCH A COMPUTER EVER AGAIN! YOU ARE NOT WORTH IT.6 -
Project manager, who i've complained in the past is neglecting critical things that he doesn't want to do, decided today to cancel our weekly planning meeting, to have the below conversation with me 1:1. Its very long, but anyone who has the will to get through it ... please tell me it's not just me. I'm so bewildered and angry.
Side note: His solution to the planning meeting not taking place ... to just not have one and asked everyone to figure it out themselves offline, with no guidance on priorities.
Conversation:
PM: I need to talk to you about some of phrasing you use during collaboration. It's coming across slightly offensive, or angry or something like that.
Me: ok, can you give me an example?
PM: The ticket I opened yesterday, where you closed it with a comment something along the lines of "as discussed several times before, this is an issue with library X, can't be fixed until Y ...".
"As discussed several times" comes across aggressive.
Me: Ok, fair enough, I get quite frustrated when we are under a crunch, working long hours, and I have to keep debugging or responding to the same tickets over and over. I mean, like we do need to solve this problem, I don't think its fair that we just keep ignoring this.
PM: See this is the problem, you never told me.
Me: ... told you what?
PM: That this is a known issue and not to test it.
Me: ..... i'm sorry ..... I did, that was the comment, this is the 4th ticket i've closed about it.
PM: Right but when you sent me this app, you never said "don't test this".
Me: But I told you that, the last 3 times that it won't be in until feature X, which you know is next month.
PM: No, you need to tell me on each internal release what not to test.
Me: But we release multiple times per week internally. Do you really need me to write a big list of "still broken, still broken, still broken, still broken"?
PM: Yes, how else will I know?
Me: This is documented, the last QA contractor we had work for us, wrote a lot of this down. Its in other tickets that are still open, or notes on test cases etc. You were tagged in all of these too. Can you not read those? and not test them unless I say I've fixed them?
PM: No, i'm only filling for QA until we hire a full time. Thats QA's job to read those and maintain those documents.
Me: So you want me to document for you every single release, whats already documented in a different place?
PM: ok we'll come back to this. Speaking of hiring QA. You left a comment on the excel spreadsheet questioning my decision, publicly, thats not ok.
Me: When I asked why my top pick was rejected?
PM: Yes. Its great that you are involved in this, but I have to work closely with this person and I said no, is that not enough?
Me: Well you asked me to participate, reviewing resumes's and interviewing people. And I also have to work extremely close with this person.
PM: Are you doubting my ability to interview or filter people?
Me: ..... well a little bit yeah. You asked me to interview your top pick after you interviewed her and thought she was great. She was very under qualified. And the second resume you picked was missing 50% of the requirements we asked for ... given those two didn't go well, I do think its fair to ask why my top pick was rejected? ... even just to know the reason?
PM: Could you not have asked publicly? face to face?
Me: you tagged me on a google sheet, asking me to review a resume, and rather than tag you back on 2 rows below ... you want me to wait 4 days to ask you at our next face to face? (which you just cancelled for this meeting)
PM: That would have been more appropriate
Me: ..... i'm sorry, i don't want to be rude but thats ridiculous and very nit pick-y. You asked my opinion on one row, I asked yours on another. To say theres anything wrong with that is ridiculous
PM: Well we are going to call another team meeting and discuss all this face to face then, because this isn't working. We need to jump to this other call now, lets leave it here.5 -
I find many of the peculiarities about our kind (developer) to be amusing.
Here is one I have seen too many times to count...
You ask a group of developer something like...
“We have a project built using X, Y and Z. We are looking at integrating the “example framework” to solve a specific problem. Do you have any experience with “example framework” or would you suggest another framework?”
Inevitably you get the same useless response of “Why are you using X, Y, and Z. It’s so <insert generic complaint here>!” Followed with no actual attempt to answer the question asked...
Listen, I know some of us a socially awkward (I can be) and I know we like to debate and argue.
But, if someone asks you a specific technical question about an existing product, either...
1. Answer the question with your experience
2. Declare that you do not have experience with it
3. Shut your fucking childish mouth
No one cares about how you feel about the size of the underlying technology in existing products! What do you expect?
“OMG, we didn’t realize X technology as 100mb large! Hold on while we go and reengineer our entire product base because of this fucking revelation you just told us!”
You may want to hear your own voice but the rest of us would prefer it if you would shut your mouth if you have nothing useful to add.
(Reads as: we would prefer is you fucked right off!)3 -
Call it mental disorder. Sickness. Masochism or just bein a demented individual...
But I used to work with classic ASP. Yes, my JS ran on servers before it was cool (I am the original tech hipster) and I was writing VBScript with it as well because why the fuck not?
And
I
LIKED IT.
Kinda miss it to be honest. Shit was simple as fuck, the downside of it was the "fuckLibrariesAndDoShitByHand.asp" mentality and consequence of using old tech....but I liked it.
Tutorials for that shit had to teach you damn near everything in one book, not just how to code it, but how to really work with servers on the bare minimum and one would learn sooo much. Now a days most books be like "this is how you do yo auth tokens..because all y'all mofockas should know this shit by now" NO mofocka! Our books was all about "aaaallrighty dipshit, this shit here is auth, and in order to bla bla blah" THOROUGHT AS FUCK B.
So yeah......i had fun, by far not my first choice on new shit, but shit was fun.4 -
Simple there are four other developers on my team. Yet, I do all of the work.
I'm picky about spesific tasks, so I would rather do THOSE by myself, by we have a Trello board where I've marked the tasks I want to do myself, and everything else is open for grabs.
Some tasks I will asign others (one developer specifically) and days will pass and no code gets touched. So I end up having to take it over. :|
Like, guys, I get it. You have other things to do. But could you atleast *try* and help me without me having to ask? If not, then why did you even sign up? I want to get this out the door so our project doesn't go under and we can make some money. I have other things I would like to do as well, you know. Like take a day off, or spend time with my girlfriend.9 -
Decided to spend my weekend on a little side project that I thought I could finish quickly.
Not only does my code not work, but what I wrote is so horrible that I'm honestly ashamed. Its like the despicable porn that you sometimes end up watching and the horror of realizing what the hell you just watched after you finish - I thought my code was good, but really, it was trash.
Before I started writing I though to myself, "I'll finish this project and then I'll upload it to my Github to expand my repository", but now I cringe at the thought of someone else reviewing this pile of shit I call my code.
It's 2 am here in Israel. I know I should go to sleep, but I'll just stare at the ceiling, feeling unproductive because everything I did today is literally worthless.
How the fuck do I justify this shit to myself? Calling this a "learning experience" feels like a fucking joke.
Honestly, I don't know why I chose Python to do OOP when Kotlin would have served me much better.
But, there's always tomorrow, isn't there?2 -
Applied for a job at Canonical.
Was waiting for an e-mail response to know if I would move up the interview process or not.
Got a standardized e-mail to evaluate their hiring methods and how fast it was.
In that standardized e-mail there was this question:
"Do you know why you didn't move up on in the application process?"
Fuck. The e-mail should have something saying "Spoiler alert".6 -
For the last week or so I've been writing a userbot for Telegram. Completely from scratch, plus Telethon to not reinvent the wheel entirely. I'm coming from the codebase of an existing userbot.
That userbot is written by a good friend of mine, who makes 6 figures, and whom I respect greatly. However the code is a steaming pile of shit. Now that is not his fault, he largely inherited that code too, tried to fix it, failed, gave up.
I am reimplementing it entirely. I'm only looking at the modules, trying to understand them, and copying over the necessary bits and changing them where necessary. But I've come across some nasty shit.
Userbots often edit existing messages from real Telegram clients. They're kind of like a login to your account, but with a program rather than a regular client. You send a message from a real client, it sees it and does whatever it needs to, and edits your message to give you feedback. Which is great.
However, there's no need to do simple string edits by importing "re". So why do you? Because you're an idiot, that's why. The old bot is based on Paperplane, which in turn is based on Telethon. Why do I see function calls to Telethon in some places and Paperplane in others? Because you're an idiot, that's why. Why does the dig module fail to even give correct answers? Because you know nothing about the DNS, that's why. And you didn't learn about RRs before implementing it.
And don't you tell me that this code is shit, and this bot is slow only when I run it on a fucking Pentium. I run this shit on an i7 and CPU isn't even the issue - memory, disk and such are. If you had any clue whatsoever about efficiency, you would've known because it's blatantly obvious. There's a reason why my machines rarely go past 5% CPU utilization. It's the fastest component in the entire fucking system.
When users come and say.. hmm this application of yours, it consumes a lot of memory. It takes a long time to do X and Y and I don't quite understand why, it seems illogical. Then maybe you should go look at your code, like you would look at yourself in the mirror. And then you fucking go fix it so that I don't have to. You're an engineer just like I am. And I am not even a dev proper - I'm a sysadmin by trade. Why should I have to fix your shit for you?1 -
The fucking defective Caps Lock on Apple keyboards drives me fucking ballistic!
WHY would they ever think it would be a good idea to introduce a minimum press time for a key?!?
EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. I use the damn thing it inevitably fails and I have to backspace, delete the non-caps text I just entered after HITTING THE FUCKING CAPS LOCK KEY, tap the damn thing again (harder this time) and try again. It usually takes 2 or 3 tries before it actually catches. I'm sorry, but training myself to type slower is not as easy as you think!
Who the fuck thought up this nonsensical bullshit?? And who the fuck is going around accidentally tapping their caps lock key to the point where such a delay would be needed?? Do you not know where your own fingers are??
Seriously, all this does is penalize fast typists and people who actually want to USE the caps lock key for what it was meant for.
I swear to god this one little thing pisses me off SO much. And what's worse is they don't even give you an option to disable it, AND it's bloody fucking impossible to disable yourself even through the terminal.
(Also, typing this rant with so many caps was probably not as cathartic as I was going for!) 😂9 -
I have a server. I want to filter connections to that server so only people on my work network can access the server. A quick search yielded my public IP address.
"Is this static?" I asked IT. "Do we have static IP address?"
"What do you mean? What do you need that for? You better know EXACTLY what you are doing before we release that information to you!!!! This needs to go to my manager. My manager is demanding to know why you want that information - we are having Network Engineering look into this request, someone will be in touch to find out more."
I have now been waiting for 3 hours. I think I will just go ahead and assume my IP is not going to change...undefined infosec how many engineers does it take i am on the 10th floor the fall would kill me corporate america5 -
I work in a team where I am the only person not belonging to the main company. We have been a year and 3 months working together and they still don't realise that I have very restricted access to many of the things related to the project. So every now and then, something breaks and we have a meeting where they all tell me how disappointed they are at me because I was responsible for that and then I try to show them how I could not possibly even access the information where it is stated that I was responsible for that thing. Or that that thing even existed.
And then, the move the conversation to why they won't pay for my ramping up. This is not ramping up, assholes, this is you allowing me to access the information I need to do my job as you want!
I really don't know what to do... Other than looking for another job1 -
>import ENi18n
>import ZHi18n
en = {…ENi18n, moreStuff}
zh = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffZH}
pt = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffPT}
“Hey man can you fix this? Seems like we are missing the Portuguese i18n. Check this file please (path)”
“I’m sorry I don’t understand, can you call me and explain?”
Why do I need to explain this? What is difficult to grasp here? How can it take more than 20 seconds to know what to do here? It’s not even a file I made, you made it and I just ran into it!
Fuck man, I’m going to blow my brains out.2 -
FU*** unnamed company..... lets recap.
I went for a job interview at this unnamed company i was acting like me and dress like i normally do, witch is good not extrem like a model but normal OK. like you would see in any company.
Yes maybe i could have got a haircut but you know time...
but not to drift, i when i was myself in the interview and no out of the ordinary things happend....
3 days later they call with feedback and you properly guest it! they did not like my appearance..
Like why? my feedback to them was to think that refusing someone based on there personal statement of looking fucking average JO is not good thing to do. and that it makes them look like big "i am better than you..." jerks....
of course there was more of this so called "feedback".
They also ask if i had any feedback for them... i kindly suggested that they need to invest in training how to not judge people on how they look but on there ability of there work and skill....
pfff.. that gone! alright thanks devrant for this outlet.5 -
So i am a diabetic and carry an insulin pump. Now being in India, the pump is not covered by insurance (for some god forsaken reason that I don’t know) and therefore is not a common sight here (contradictoraly India has a major diabetes problem). So I was at the metro station going through security check and the security personnel asks me what the pump was and asked me to show it to him. Now since insulin pumps are uncommon here I understood his concern and showed it to him. Now I like to carry the pump under my shirt with a clip pouch. So naturally I had to lift up my shirt to show it to him. But this isn’t the highlight of the story.
The guy behind me rised above and started peeking over my shoulder and constantly repeating like a 2 year old child what is this. And that too with my fucking abdomen exposed. I went into rage mode there and then like wtf dude, none of your business just step back a little.
Now my issue is that I do not understand that in their own curiosity, why do people forget to respect others privacy. And a very big problem with medical equipment manufacturing organisations (yeah you medtronic). Why are you only concerned with sales and why not awareness? I mean spreading awareness will only help your sales as more people will become aware about your product and it will be less awkward and concerning for people like me to wear your device out in the public5 -
I have now turned the name board in my cubicle to hide my name.
Why you ask? Not because I don't like my name, or dislike my name board (there's this little design on it which is just delightful).
It is to make it a bit more difficult for new morons who don't know who I am or where I sit. Can't do much more than that because I have a desktop.5 -
I strongly dislike people who don't even try to gather information by themselves before asking others.
Now, I'm sure ALL of you have seen this, when someone has a problem with their code, printer, etc they ask you or someone else before just Googling the answer. Like ffs, you really think that you're so special that you feel like other people should Google stuff for you, like I need you to understand that you're not special, you're not unique and there's a VERY high chance someone has has the exact problem as you.
The most common question I see on Discord as a whole is "who ping" or "why ping" or something related. Ffs Discord had a fucking button that tells you who pinged you (yes I know that the sender can delete the message, but this is rarely the case and I always check before getting mad)
On a somewhat related note, I never understood why people ask "who are you" especially when they have a name tag or whatever (and double especially if it's online) like what do you expect them to say? Do you want their life story?16 -
I don't need you to reiterate what the problem is. I am aware. I was the one who told you what the problem is. Via email and Slack. Why do you keep restating it to me like you are the one who figured out? I know the table isn't syncing with the third party object. I'm trying to figure out WHY. No amount of "I'm pretty sure the sync process is broken" will trigger a solution. Stop coming into my office every 5 minutes with a new "revelation" that wasn't even your own. This isn't my code, and since the owner of said code is not here to fix it, I have to spend some time figuring out how this damn thing works. SO PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME WORK SO I CAN FIX THIS2
-
# school suck
! coding
hello, hope im not bothering anyone with my adolescent problems, but im really angry towards school.
first of all,
the subjects get thaught much too slow.
like dafuq, why does our maths teacher need 6h to teach us what square roots are? Why does our history teacher need 10h to teach us about one single revolution???
and worst of all: why is everything accompagnied by long, repetitive, homework?
Also, why do they think that im bad just because i dont have the best grades??? im a GOOD average, without learning a TAD!!!
also, here i am, needing to learn maths for some it project.
when i ask any teacher, he doesnt explain it to me but says "you will learn that in class xy"
ok, then i guess i can teach it myself.
but when i take books into school to read em (remember, i already know the subjects), the teachers always take em from me.
also, im not allowed to talk to anyone. not even when idle.
so currently, i am trying not to get angry from this, tomorrow school starts again. after this year legally, i would be allowed to drop out.
could you please tell me what you would do? should i drop out? change school? change class? im open to reolly anything that possibly could help (my parents arent)35 -
Imagine asking your friends to help you rate your app on the google play store and instead of saying NO I DONT WANT TO RATE YOUR APPLICATION no... they decide to fuck with your mind.
1)
I will rate it tomorrow. (she never rated it tomorrow nor the next couple of weeks later)
2)
I will keep it in mind and rate it later :). (she never rated it later)
3)
I rated it haha (less than 30 seconds later they deleted the rating)
4)
Send me a link and I'll rate it (i send the link, they never respond or read my message again)
5)
I dont have memory on my phone :) (because 13MB of memory is a lot of storage requirements but taking 1 million selfies of up to 25GB is completely fine)
6)
I dont have memory on my phone what dont you understand :) x2 (this is the second girl)
7)
Your trying to give me a virus?? No (i got blocked multiple times)
8)
You want to hack me by making me install this application from the link that you sent me that leads to google play store? No (blocked)
9)
Rate your app? Haha i dont care about it because it doesnt bring me any benefit only the fat cocks that fill my pussy up satisfy me and not ur app haha
10)
Haha send me a link ill rate it (i send link, 8 hours later no reply or reading my message, i text her back if she had done it and im still put on ignore)
...
N)
more
----
Notice how none of these people have said the 2 letter word: "no".
All of these 10 examples are based on a true story.
All of these 10 examples are different people.
---
How hard
Can it be
To just
Write
no
---
.
---
For all of you who are about to trash talk saying i am desperately trying to beg people to rate my app:
i know all of those people for a long time. But when it comes to asking (and not forcing) someone to do you a favor for free that takes no more than 30 seconds, no one seems to have 30 seconds of their free time. Dont get me wrong, some of my friends did politely rate it and left a review, even the people who i barely knew left a review and rated it, but the people with whom I was closer by, didnt.
---
In the beginning i used to not care about this at all. Then i started falling into depression because of it. I fell then into deep depression. Then i sunk so deep that i couldn't feel any emotions anymore so i laughed as an anti depressive mechanism whenever something depressing happened. Now i cant even laugh because i have no more energy. Now i actually leave man tears
---
The only thing more valuable than people, any materialistic thing, animals, coding and even money - is time....
----
why do you waste my time
if i ask you to do something that takes 30 seconds and you dont want to do it
why cant you just say no
why do you drag me
why do you say you're going to do it when you know you wont do it
what do you gain by unnecessarily lying to someone for such a small thing?
to someone who has been a good person to you?
do you feel superior?
is your ego bigger?
----
This experience has taught me that not even a human from the same blood can be trusted.
All of your are fucked up in the head in your own style and i am guilty of it too, all of us are.
But i have never seen the human evolution went from simplicity to overengineered complexitory bULLSHit where you have to lie to someone and waste hours, days, weeks, months and sometimes years of his time just because you dont want to say a 2 letter word, no.
But when that person becomes more successful than you and achieves higher status, Theen you have those 30 seconds of free time. All of you are fucking cynics. and i am so much overly disgusted by all of this fucking bullshit....
-----
This experience has proven to me to simply focus on investing into myself and learn and improve myself and no one else. To not even bother asking even for a small kind of help, a feedback from my work because people don't have 30 seconds of their free time. That is all.12 -
Why most of the Indian developers code so bad? I face it very often, with my colleagues, with the freelancers we hire, even with our clients.
I am an Indian, and I feel so much disgusted (& sad as well) when a client tell us that they have a dedicated team to rework on the code which they outsource from India. If you visit a freelancing website you will see that the Indian developers have the least price, and they bid on literally anything even without understanding what they need to do. And finally when they get a job, they complete it, but with a fully f*cked up code and the worst architecture possible.
I have a lot of friends working in IT, and I personally know that they do not have any passion about programming. They just work for money, nothing else. I don't understand, why? My 7 years of IT career is probably not long enough to find a suitable answer for this 'why'.15 -
I've worked in a lot of customer service jobs and the more i have to deal with client, the more story starting to pile up. But something always come back and it's frustrating. The entitlement people have. I work as a Technical Support agent and for the most part i'm actually happy to help people with fixing their problems. But once in a while i always get that idiot that doesn't do anything i told him, blame me because "my fixes" don't work or just straight up don't listen to me and think they know better. Why the fuck do you call me if you need help if you're going to ignore everything i say and act like a fucking children. I'm not the one that call for technical support.
I know this place is more for Dev, but i'm sure those kind of things happen all the time when a client think he know more than the dev themselves...1 -
after beginning to learn numpy , i believe these packages were really created by some clown of a circus xD.
Everything is sooooo entertaining!!!
i learned java 3 years ago, but today if i had to crap out some crazy java or c++ expert , i would tell him about numpy's arrays...
Like , "hey dude python has this cool data structure in the numpy library called arrays, which can hold any datatypes in a kind of arraylist like fashion, and you can convert them from 1 dimensional to 1000 dimensional in just 1 line , and also do you know we can select any column with just array[position]? and even this position does not needs to be an integer, you can use a list , like array[[1,2,3]] will give you elements at array[1],array[2],array[3], and...."
wait, why is my friend dead ? xD
HAhahahaha8 -
OK so... project I've been working on! It's a virtual processor that runs in the browser coded in JavaScript. OK so I know, I know, you must be thinking, "this is crazy!" "Why would she do this?!?!" and I understand that.
The idea of Tangible is is to see if I can get any tangible performance over JavaScript. I've posted a poorly drawn diagram below showing how tangible works.
The goal for tangible is to not use html, javascript, or CSS. Instead, you would use, say for instance, c++ and write your web page in that, then you compile it using my clang plugins and out pops your bytecode for Tangible. No more CSS, no more html, and no more javascript. Instead everything from a textbox to a video on your web page is an object, each object can be placed into a container, each container follows specific flag rules like: centerHorizontal or centerVertical.
Added to all of this you get the optimization of the llvm optimizer.18 -
First rant incoming!
I love when bizDEV people who are clearly not technical try to be technical. I mean I get when you want to try and understand something and I am totally down for letting you in on why we (the engineers) decided to do something a certain way. When you then go and tell us “no” and give the reason of “because I said so” it really doesn’t still well. Then you wonder why we don’t want to talk to you about anything? I mean it doesn’t take a genius to figure out you know nothing about anything we are doing but sure, why don’t we just go along with your plan because you are totally omniscient.
Then he decided that he wants to be in all the “idea” discussions... I really don’t understand because my ideas are not scheduled and I am not going to set up a meeting and write them down for later so you can feel needed and important.
This project had such a good chance of becoming something great but I have a bad feeling it’s going to fail now because non technical people are in charge of technical decisions.
End of rant, thanks for listening.2 -
Eric Thomas' Top 10 Rules For Success
1- Know what you want.
If you don’t know what you want, how will you know what to say yes to in your life? Stop taking every body else’s leftovers and step up and take what you deserve!
2- Work on your gift.
We all have our own individual talents, gifts and strengths. But those natural gifts will only become truly great by refining and nourishing them. Natural ability will get you started, but commitment and determination to achieve greatness is what will get you to where you want to be.
3- No excuses.
Stop using your circumstances, finances or current position in life as an excuse to justify why you aren’t working towards your goals. You are in charge. If you aren’t where you want to be, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself honestly- WHY? Take responsibility for you life once and for all.
4- Upgrade your values.
Your values dictate your behaviours. And your behaviours create your results. If you want to a different result, you need to change your behaviour.
5- You reap what you sow.
Nothing in life is free. It is up to you to determine the course of your life. If you want success, you need to do what it takes, daily, to get there. Don’t focus so much on being successful. Focus on solving problems, helping others, and adding value to people’s lives, and success will come.
6- Education is the great equaliser.
If you are at the bottom, you need to learn. If you are at the top, you still need to learn. Never, ever, ever stop growing and educating yourself.
7- What is your WHY?
Why do you wake up in the morning and hustle? Why do you do what you do? Knowing the answer to this question is the single most important thing to know about yourself if you want to become successful. When you know WHY you are doing what you do, you won’t ever quit, even on a bad day.
8- Have boundaries.
If you want to be a huge success, you have to be strict on yourself with how you spend your energy. Distractions will come in many forms, family, friends, TV, but you have to make sure that your time is being spent wisely.
9- Speak from the heart.
Transparency is attractive. Don’t be afraid to open up to the world and let yourself be seen.
10- Succeed as bad as you want to breathe.
Everybody wants to be successful. But not everybody is willing to do the work that it takes to become successful. When you are willing to get so uncomfortable, so out of your depth, so blind that you have no other choice but to be successful, THEN you will become successful. The only question you need to ask yourself is this. Am I willing?
Credits: https://fearlessmotivation.com/2016...2 -
I love one particular old game. It's called Port Royale (the first one). Why? Because the game crashes a lot. Players know that, devs knew that. It's so old and unknown to people who haven't played that devs don't even fix it. But, but... why do you write it here?
This game tought me autosaving! Yeah, they have autosaving in [5, 10, 15] minute intervals, but the game is so fast, that even a little change you do will cripple your whole economy. Not to mention the saving mechanism is partially broken (or that's what the log says, fml). By broken I mean it tries to autosave, but sometimes it crashes the whole thing, just because it can. A game with special effects - crashing in _intervals_!
Because of this lovely game I have a habit of saving and staging (or even commiting). Maybe they should be proud for making such a bug. Saved me once again a minute ago when I managed to crash Emacs with Python. :D1 -
Rant time of 'Derp & Co.'
Today I decided that I am going to find another job, I just can't keep with this shit.
They said that use Agile: FALSE.
• Daily (best scenario) take like 1 hour and a half.
• New task enter the sprint and "Fuck you, more task in the same time". This is something regular done.
• "Oh, dev, we need you to check this other project" I am in the middle of my sprint on this project. "But you have to fix this bug here". (3 fucking days the bloody bug) "You are late again with tasks".
• Meeting for fresh sprint: 6 BLOODY hours... nonstop
The workflow is garbage:
• SOMEONE should did all the devops shit on the first sprint, guess what? They did nothing!, guess now who is being blamed for it (not only me, but a few coworkers).
• Nothing is well designed/defined:
~ task are explained like shit
~ times measured wrongly
~ We are in the last fucking SPRINT and still doing de ER of the DataBase cause Oh, apparently no one has work before with SQL (damn you MongoDB! (Not really)) so I am doing my best, but "jezz dev, this is so hard... maybe we can do it WRONG and easy".
~ No one is capable of take responsability of their mess, they just try to push down the problems. (Remember the devops situatuion? Why is.my fault? I came at the 3 or 4 sprint and I am doing backend tasks, I know nothing about devops).
But the big prize, the last one:
• Apparently you can't send whatever you want to the boss, it has to pass a filter previously of coordinators and managers, hell yeah!
And I am an idiot too!
because I see that we can't reach our schedule and do hours on my spare time!
This is because there are a few good coworkers who probably ended with my unfinished tasks... and they are equaly fucked as me...
This is just the tip of the iceberg. I am not a pro, I am not a full stack developer and still need to learn a lot, but this is just not normal, eight months like this...3 -
So yeah XML is still not solved in year 2018. Or so did I realize the last days.
I use jackson to serialize generic data to JSON.
Now I also want to provide serialization to XML. Easy right? Jackson also provides XML serialization facitlity similar to JAXB.
Works out of the box (more or less). Wait what? *rubbing eyes*
<User>
<pk>234235</pk>
<groups typeCode="usergroup">
<pk>6356679041773291286</pk>
</groups>
<groups typeCode="usergroup">
<pk>1095682275514732543</pk>
</groups>
</User>
Why is my groups property (java.util.Set) rendered as two separate elements? Who the fuck every though this is the way to go?
So OK *reading the docs* there is a way to create a collection wrapper. That must be it, I thought ...
<User typeCode="user">
<pk>2540591810712846915</pk>
<groups>
<groups typeCode="usergroup">
<pk>6356679041773291286</pk>
</groups>
<groups typeCode="usergroup">
<pk>1095682275514732543</pk>
</groups>
</groups>
</User>
What the fuck is this now? This is still not right!!!
I know XML offers a lot of flexibility on how to represent your data. But this is just wrong ...
The only logical way to display that data is:
<User typeCode="user">
<pk>2540591810712846915</pk>
<groups>
<groupsEntry typeCode="usergroup">
<pk>6356679041773291286</pk>
</groupsEntry>
<groupsEntry typeCode="usergroup">
<pk>1095682275514732543</pk>
</groupsEntry>
</groups>
</User>
It would be better if the individual entries would be just called "group" but I guess implementing such a logic would be pretty hard (finding a singular of an arbitrary word?).
So yeah theres a way for that * implementing a custom collection serializer* ... wait is that really the way to go? I mean common, am I the only one who just whants this fucking shit just work as expected, with the least amount of suprise?
Why do I have to customize that ...
So ok it renders fine now ... *writes test for it+
FUCK FUCK FUCK. why can't jackson not deserialize it properly anymore? The two groups are just not being picked up anymore ...
SO WHY, WHY WHY are you guys over at jackson, JAXB and the like not able to implement that in the right manner. AND NOT THERE IS ONLY ONE RIGHT WAY TO DO IT!
*looks at an apple PLIST file* *scratches head* OK, gues I'll stick to the jackson defaults, at least it's not as broken as the fucking apple XML:
<plist version="1.0">
<dict>
<key>PayloadOrganization</key>
<string>Example Inc.</string>
<key>PayloadDisplayName</key>
<string>Profile Service</string>
<key>PayloadVersion</key>
<integer>1</integer>
</dict>
</plist
I really wonder who at apple has this briliant idea ...2 -
Clojure developers: why has our awesome language not taken the world by storm? how do we get new developers interested in Clojure and Lisp! its not as hard as people make it out to be!!
Also Clojure developers: Yeh so we know you are all probably not used to an editor like emacs *crowd looks in confusion*....BUT YOU NEED TO DOWNLOAD EMACS, INSTALL ALL THESE PLUGINS, MAKE SURE THAT THIS SHIT CALLED CIDER WORKS AND LEARN ALL OF THSE CTRL+<Fuck-Mx-You> COMBINATIONS!!
As someone that has been in the community for so long...I can't with the mentality of some of these people, and it scares me because I fear for Clojure disappearing.17 -
Hey so this may be a harsh one. Me and my friend are computer science and game development students and he's now in Programming 2 and he's not understanding day 1 concepts (i.e. "you dont have to redefine a variable every time you use it", "That's a string why are you setting it to 0?", "the program needs to take in user string input how would you do that?", etc.) and at this point I don't know how to help him actually understand and retain information. What do I do?13
-
What the hell is it with WordPress people. Just read a rant where this dude is calling himself a "developer" . What the hell you're not a developer stop calling yourself a developer. All you do is click and drag pictures into squares. And type plain English into text boxes. Using software thay an actual developer actually did develop. You don't see me on cook rant calling myself a cook you know why cuz I can't cook. Leave don't learn a respectable language and get back to me. And no HTML is not a language.24
-
Resolved issues with iCloud and my moms massive photo library...
Months later. "What's Apple Music?"
It's just a streaming service mom.
"I've been paying $10 a month for it, why am I paying for it?"
"Do you like to listen to music a lot? Do you want it?"
"No I don't even know what it is, you must've done this with that apple cloud thing"
"Mom those are different things, I helped you with your cloud storage it's not the same"
"Cancel it for me!!😡"
All I did was clear my moms iCloud storage enough that she could do some photo backups from her phone, months ago. Never even moved her into the paid tier for the cloud storage, let alone an Apple Music subscription that she had for months and didn't want or use. Don't worry, I cancelled it for her.1 -
!Dev
Sitting in a bus on 19 hour ride with my class to England a few things to rant about came to my mind:
Why the fuck do you have to blast shitty german rap music out of your fucking JBL boxes and why do you have to turn up the volume so much that I can still hear it although I am wearing headphones, listening to music and sitting 5 fucking rows in front of you.
Also why the fuck do clocks in buses never display the right time? How hard can it be to make the clock display the right fucking time?
Another thing: why does this bus which is especially made for long rides not have a fucking trash can?! Seriously wtf?
Rants aside I am really looking forward to staying in England for a week although I won't have a computer for the next week :(
Another thing: why the fuck is the coffee you get at pull-ins so fucking disgusting ?
Like srsly, it is made by a machine and still tastes like thrown-up.
And why the fuck does everyone look weirdly at you when you buy a can of red bull but everything is fine when someone my age drinks 3+ liters of beer and then throws up? What the fuck? People look at me weirdly when I tell them that I don't drink any alcohol, heck I am actually not even allowed to do so because I am 15 and not 16 (beer is allowed in Germany if you are 16+ but nobody really cares about that). Heck where I am from they even encourage you to drink beer? What the fuck??!!
Anyway looking forward to England and also sorry about the long non-dev related rant. Just had to rant about some people and society.
P.S. do you know any (preferably free) Android apps / games where you have to code or just solve problems with logic?14 -
I don't know what to do with my life anymore, as a self taught web developer, I started like anybody doing HTML, CSS and js, and then I met PHP and WordPress.
why the fuck PHP is ugly ? and why WordPress is uglier ? I tried to learn how to build a simple plugin in WordPress but the hooks system make me want to kill my self, how the fuck PHP powers 80% of the web ? every time I write PHP I wish I was never born, the problem is that I can't change job because I am old and I live in a fucking country who is technologically primitive, they fucking know only PHP and JAVA, no Node, No Ruby, No Python, only fucking PHP.
I learned React, I learned Node but you know what I did this last year ? I raped a themeforest theme for about dozen plus websites, A SINGLE THEME FOR MORE THAN DOZEN CLIENTS, my boss does not care, only me who is not sleeping at night because a tried to customize a Prestashop theme and it gave me cramps in the stomach, I feel depressed and useless, I want to quite my job but I can't, I have mouths to feed, WHY THE FUCK DID I FELL IN LOVE WITH PROGRAMMING, I was happy fixing computers, what can I do if the only project that I have are WordPress and Prestashop?
how did you do to stay sane when working with wordpress and prestashop ? are you not human ?I can't take it anymore.
I need a new road map, fuck it I will focus only on JS and Node and fuck PHP.10 -
Fun fact for today
Do you know why we call computer bugs as computer bugs, and not just the formal word for it - "errors and glitches"
Some of you guys might already know this, but still worth sharing:
http://thenextweb.com/shareables/... -
'nother "teacher" story here.
Little background knowledge: I'm repeating the things he told us about at home and try to learn them by myself. I use the newest Visual studio and .NET framework version.
In school we have pretty old PC's and even older .NET framework. But let this insanity begin...
As normally i entered my classroom a little late (I have a dangerous habit of ignoring my alarms) and sat down on my chair. We were only 3 people including me at that moment so everything was pretty chill. I ask him what our task was and something along these lines occurred:
Me: what's our task?
Teacher: you remember your shopping list program? I want a textbox in it next to the listview and I want it to show every listview item
Me: that doesn't make sense
Teacher: yadda yadda just do it
Me: kaaaaay, anything else?
Teacher: actually yes! Please use inheritance.
Me: *baffeld* that doesn't make any sense at all. We have 5 different fruits; you tell me i should make a class per fruit!?
Teacher: yes of course! This is how professionals do it all the time. Please give them a distinct attribute, too.
Me: *angry* I'm. Not. Gonna. Do. This. This is total bullshit and also really bad coding style. I'm not going to teach myself something that doesn't make sense at all.
(Note: i know how inheritance works and he knows that too)
Teacher: You have to do it, you won't be prepared for final exams otherwise!
Me: leave my exam prep to me. I won't do this.
Teacher: *grumbles* fine
Later that very same lesson i got a .NET compatibility error. I couldn't work because I wasn't allowed to change anything on the installation nor to install a newer framework. So basically he told me I should've used 'sharpdevelopment' (which is not able to do windows Forms, but hey who cares) and this would not have happened. I was so furious at that moment i just took all my stuff, told him that I work 'from a place where i got decent software and space to think' and left the room.
Why did this person decide to become a programming teacher?7 -
Saw this sent into a Discord chat today:
"Warning, look out for a Discord user by the name of "shaian" with the tag #2974. He is going around sending friend requests to random Discord users, and those who accept his friend requests will have their accounts DDoSed and their groups exposed with the members inside it becoming a victim as well. Spread the word and send this to as many discord servers as you can. If you see this user, DO NOT accept his friend request and immediately block him. Discord is currently working on it. SEND THIS TO ALL THE SERVERS YOU ARE IN. This is IMPORTANT: Do not accept a friend request from shaian#2974. He is a hacker.
Tell everyone on your friends list because if somebody on your list adds one of them, they'll be on your list too. They will figure out your personal computer's IP and address, so copy & paste this message where ever you can. He is going around sending friend requests to random discord users, and those who accept his requests will have their accounts and their IP Addresses revealed to him. Spread the word and send this to as many discord servers as you can. If you see this user, DO NOT accept his friend request and immediately block him. Saw this somewhere"
I was so angry I typed up an entire feature-length rant about it (just wanted to share my anger):
"1. Unless they have access to Discord data centres or third-party data centres storing Discord user information I doubt they can obtain the IP just by sending friend requests.
2. Judging by the wording, for example, 'copy & paste this message where ever you can' and 'Spread the word and send this to as many discord servers as you can. If you see this user, DO NOT accept his friend request and immediately block him.' this is most likely BS, prob just someone pissed off at that user and is trying to ruin their reputation etc.. Sentences equivalent to 'spread the word' are literally everywhere in this wall of text.
3. So what if you block the user? You don't even have their user ID, they can change their username and discrim if they want. Also, are you assuming they won't create any alts?
4. Accounts DDoSed? Does the creator of this wall of text even understand what that means? Wouldn't it be more likely that 'shaian' will be DDoSing your computer rather than your Discord account? How would the account even be DDoSed? Does that mean DDoSing Discord's servers themselves?
5. If 'shaian' really had access to Discord's information, they wouldn't need to send friend requests in order to 'DDoS accounts'. Why whould they need to friend you? It doesn't make sense. If they already had access to Discord user IP addresses, they won't even have to interact with the users themselves. Although you could argue that they are trolling and want to get to know the victim first or smth, that would just be inefficient and pointless. If they were DDoSing lots of users it would be a waste of time and resources.
6. The phrase 'Saw this somewhere' at the end just makes it worse. There is absolutely no proof/evidence of any kind provided, let along witnesses.
How do you expect me to believe this copypasta BS scam? This is like that 'Discord will be shutting down' scam a while back.
Why do people even believe this? Do you just blindly follow what others are doing and without thinking, copy and paste random walls of text?
Spreading this false information is pointless and harmful. It only provides benefits to whoever started this whole thing, trying to bring down whoever 'shaian' is.
I don't think people who copy & paste this sort of stuff are ready to use the internet yet.
Would you really believe everything people on the internet tell you?
You would probably say 'no'.
Then why copy & paste this? Do you have a reason?
Or is it 'just because of 'spread the word''?
I'm just sick of seeing people reposting this sort of stuff
People who send this are probably like the people who click 'Yes' to allow an app to make changes in the User Account Control window without reading the information about the publisher's certificate, or the people who click 'Agree' without actually reading the terms and conditions."8 -
DO NOT LIE ON YOUR RESUMÉ!
I don't understand why people do this. I understand that some shady recruiters like to "gin up" the occasional resumé, but I'm talking about the people who write that they're familiar with MySQL and can't even write a SELECT, or the people who write that they're familiar with Python and can't describe the differences between v2 and v3.
And the interviews are awkward as *fuck*.
I: "So it says you're good at MySQL, could you answer a few questions about it?"
C: "Uhh... okay"
I (sensing danger): "Why would you add an index to table that already exists?"
C: "I.. don't know"
I (oh jesus I see where this is going): "Okay, we'll skip that. How would you query across a couple of tables?"
C: "Uh...."
I ([internally screaming]): "How about a single query on a single table?"
C: "I don't know that, sorry..."
I (desperately wanting to ask why the FUCK is MySQL on your resumé?): "Thank you for your time, we'll call you."
You almost feel sorry for the guy, but come the fuck on, did you think nobody would check?19 -
Why do big companies hire such loser engineers ??? I mean what the hell man. When you are hiring a fresher to code they should at least know how to apply/write a for loop. I once had a colleague who assigned each array element individually instead of writing a for loop and asked me why I refused to approve his stupid code. What do I reply to this ? It was so dumb, I could not articulate an answer.13
-
Ah, the little subtle things we have to iron out as we progress from Junior Developer to Medior Developer.. things like:
- knowing the difference between a carriage return and a line feed (although having worked with analog typewriters helps) and later knowing that Unix-based systems and Windows NT-based systems implement it differently..
- knowing that serialization is important because not all computers interpret data the same way and some computers allocate 4 Bytes for a construct, others 16 Bytes.. and then we get the funkiness of transferring character sets between machines..
- knowing that a whitespace character is not only an actual space (as is known in ASCII as code 32). This one can cause even medior developers a headache, as in: why the fuck does this string function say that "hello I am a duck" and "hello I am a duck" are not the same?! Turns out then in the debugger that when you expand every character in the string you see that string1 contains 32 32 32 32 as usual.. but then string2 contains -96 -96 -96 -96 and you're like.. what the fuck..? Then you know you have to throw \\h regex at it. Haha.
- finalizing our objects and streams (although modern languages do that for us).. otherwise we have to do funky shit like trying to find what's locking a file, which is not so easy to figure out.
- figuring out why something won't work often requires you to not only break down the problem in smaller steps, to use a debugger, but sometimes it's even better to just create a proof of concept, slap some minimal code in there and debug that.. much easier.
- etc.
:)7 -
Background story:
One of the projects I develop generates advice based on energy usage and a questionare with 300 questions.
Over 400 different variables determine what kind of advice is given. Lots of userinput and over a thousand textblocks that need to show or not.
Rant:
WTF do you want me to do when you tell me. It's not giving the right advice for the lights.
Why the for the love of.. do I need to ask you everytime. If something is not working. Tell me what and for wich user. Don't tell me calculation whatever is not working, I don't know that calculation. Your calculations are maintainable in your cms.
And how, like I really wonder, do you expect me, when not telling me what user is having this problemen to find and fix it, You just want me to random guess one of the thousands users that should be given that specific advice?
FCK, like 80% of my time solving problems is spend trying to figure out wtf your talking about.
And then what a miricale the function is doing exactly what is it doing but you forgot a variable. It's not like the code I write suddenly decides it does not feel like giving the right answer.3 -
So we've got a gif that doesn't show up in our React Native application. Of course, the designers assume it's me: "are you sure the gif is in the codebase? how are you using it in your component"? yeah ok boomer. I'm like, look at this other gif, works fine. "oh" So I tell them, double check the export options on how you are building the gif, maybe there is something there. so now they are asking ME for those export options. I'M A DEV, NOT A DESIGNER, DO YOUR JOB AND FIGURE IT OUT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PROGRAM YOU ARE USING
oh as an aside, I was putting up a website for a client and they are like "my logo is quite similar to many others, is this something to worry about legally?" OH, SO NOW I'M A LAWYER TOO??!!?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE GOOGLE IS LITERALLY IN FRONT OF YOU
why do people continually think just because we can code we are fucking designers / lawyers / astronauts
/ god?
man this pisses me off - i think of that draw red lines with blue ink expert video, in the end, just smile and nod: "i can do... absolutely anything... trust me, I'm an expert"4 -
Did you know? TL;DR stands for "too long; didn't read".
BUT DID YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT THE REST OF THE FUCKING TEXT MATTERS TOO?
Fucking read the rest before trying to be helpful. You wouldn't discuss a book after reading the summary, the same applies to questions.
"just do it like that"
"But that's not what I asked, I need it this way"
"Why would you need it this way?"
"ID fucking K. Maybe I left a fucking hint about that in the context? Can you spare like one or two minutes to read the context?"3 -
Fucking fuck fuck fuck outdated superiors that know jack shit about how software development works. Dnt even know about git, docker, cloud services. Everything is done on premise with network that is fucking crap and when an app is down "hey why is it down?" ask the fucking server and network admin how the fuck am i supossed to know? i have to create workaround codes when other devs just need to deploy their app and its fucking running as it should be. why the fuck do i need to spend my time debugging Ping timeouts? im a fucking dev. I have done designs, analyze requirements, build frontend, backend, optimize codes, paying attention to security and now i have to fix network problems as well? fuck off
Create Innovation my fucking arse. you just Keep saying that but then wondering "what is this new thing youre trying? its new and different why do that?" because you asked for innovation you fuck. If i copied some other concept its not innovation is it pricks.
Fuck them and all the brown nosers as well.1 -
RANT
We use Exact for our time sheets/hour tracking. How it's supposed to work:
-Manager plans my hours in Exact.
- I work those hours on the given projects
== All fine till here ==
But then ... there is a button (don't know the correct translation) "realise" which books the planned hours for me. So I don't have to do it manually.
This simply didn't work!! No one seem to know why not... Not even the guys at Exact.
Since it's web based I opened the developers window and looked for the call behind the button. You would think it would be at least an Ajax call thingy (I'm not completely into JS)
Turns out it's a readable JS function!
It doesn't stop there... It first makes all calculations on what to display, at last, at the fucking end, it checks a setting whether to proceed the booking or not!!!!
So I found and switched the setting and tried the button again.... Now it fucking works...
No fucking way I am going to tell Exact what the problem is 😫2 -
Things I didn't say to this project advisor, which I wish I could have:
1. Tales of your incompetence do not interest me.
2. You cannot just say something is bad and have absolutely zero direction of how it could be improved. You cannot criticize and then in response to "how do you want it changed?" say "idk".
3. You're incompetent, and I have zero clue as to whose ass have you kissed to get to where you are.
4. I hope you suffer, more than you make people who work with you suffer.
5. Now I know why the other guy resigned.
6. I'm glad that this project is over by the end of this week. I'm just afraid that you may drag it out for longer, so my fears don't let me enjoy the idea of not seeing you ever again.2 -
The only type of client I like being, is a hostile one.
That's why I intend to answer every question of the dev team, with a question.
"So would you like this banner to be blue, or green?"
Does green evoke the same emotions as blue?
"Probably not, but we're asking you so we know how to finish the design..."
Does a design have a will of its own?
"Ok... What do you think about the new e-mail feature?"
Does anyone use e-mail nowadays?
"There are plenty of people who use e-mail professionally."
Are you a professional?
"I don't think this collaboration is going to work out"
Are we done?
(Parody of Ron Swanson) -
I decided to learn Flutter, because the idea of a common code base between Android and iOS sounds nice. I'm late to the party, I know.
So I install everything and start typing in the tutorial. TAB... two spaces. I absolutely hate that so let's change it. In the settings, it sends me to a FAQ which more or less says this is the way it is, deal with it. But I want my tabs to be four spaces, every code editor since the dawn of time could do this... I'M PAYING FOR THIS SHIT!!!!!!!
Ok, let's check the JetBrains website, I'm starting to lose my patience, but let's do it. At this point I should also mention that I'm feeling pretty stupid. I mean, I'm checking on the internet about how to do something which obviously must be obvious, why am I not seeing it?
I find a page on the official website. JetBrains' replies are along the lines of "Why would you want that?", "The holly wars between tabs and spaces are over", "Most people like it this way", "The overlords said this is the coding style to be used" (Ok, the last one was me reading between the lines). At the end of the thread, they provide a "hackish solution" (their words, not mine). Which doesn't work. Because why should it?
Not even when PyCharm's debugger randomly shat itself and I had to use print statements I got so angry. That was relatively fine, bugs are a fact of life, and the overall package is good, so I kept paying.
But now you're telling me that I cannot use what should be a common feature of every code editor just because you and the overlords know better?
Well, fuck you and the horse you came in on JetBrains, you've just lost a customer.16 -
I love working doing tasks like moving boxes.
Move 10 boxes from point A to point B. Simple, you know what to do. and you know when you are finished.
I Hate tasks such as: Change this Icon to other icon. (C++) Because it takes me 3 fucking hours to find in code where the fuck this happens! And every time my first instinct when I don't know something is go to the internet and search for it. But in this case I CaN't!.
Wife: asking why I'm browsing the internet looking at memes.
Because I Don't Know where the fuck I need to be to finish my task! And I am stuck in this repeating loop of searching in code, looking at memes and being ashamed of myself that I did not this fucking simple task in like 10 minutes.
And after 3 hours of doing basically NOTHING. I don't dare to ask a colleague about everything.
Please send help....4 -
Go to bed tired. Wake up tired. Get up tired.
A month ago I was excited doing my work, I even was planning a huge change on one of our projects, detailed everything and passed it over to other folks to get funding. Now I seriously doubt I could pull it off. When I start reading a line of code I forget how it started before I reach the \n.
There was this thing I was asked to implement... A nifty one, I already could see the implementation. As I came to it I got stuck. Like when your body gets "stuck" when you get scared to death - you know what you have to do (i.e. RUN), you know how, but for some reason you just can't... Couldn't come up with anything. The other dev had to take it over and implemented it all in like 4 hours. Just like that. And it took me another 4 hours to understand how and why it worked when I know it should not take me that long as I used to write similar algorithms myself for fucks sake! I know I could have written it myself... but I couldn't..
I'm seriously worried.. Is this the end of my carreer as a dev? Am I broken somehow? I have some vacation days saved but I doubt it would be enough... Don't know if changing workplaces would work as well. I've always wanted to leave 9/5 and start working on my own project full time but now I am not sure I could pull it off either.. wtf is happening.. wtf... wtf.. -
Working on a team to take functionality from the latest version of an old executable and put it into a new web-based app.
Coworker: I can't get the results to match so I'll just change the options I'm using in the original program until they match.
Me: That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. Same options on both source and new app, and you should get identical results. Otherwise, there is a defect.
I walk over to look at what CW set up.
M: "Why do you have this box ticked? That option doesn't even exist in the new version."
CW: I don't know. It was there?
M: (trying not to lose my cool, sets up options the way they are supposed to be) This is actually a pretty simple program. It just queries the DB, so we have to make sure the queries and results are the same.
CW: (runs it) Still doesn't match.
M: What version of the source app are you using? Make sure it's the latest.
CW: I can't tell. There is no help/about menu.
At this point, I kinda want to quit and live in a cave.
M: You don't need that. Check the executable in Windows Explorer.
CW: What do you mean?
At this point, I'm sure I look like Anger from Inside Out. I show them how to do it (right click file, properties, etc), wondering how they got this far in their career without knowing how to do the simplest things.
M: (surprised and irritated) This... isn't the current version. It's two versions old.
CW: Well, I couldn't get the newest version to return the results that matched the test cases, so I used the version that did...
M: You can't do th... Why wou... How is that acc... (turns around and walks out to tell the manager he hired a moron)2 -
The client wants the booking project to be all in JS Framework (not specifying any) and NO PHP since client hates PHP (and I don't know why) from the very beginning when the only dev was my former front-end partner (lead dev).
I was wondering why the client still continued the project, YET the file extensions were still on PHP. I asked the lead dev what happened and answered he didn't know know how to start migrating to JS framework and just started NATIVE PHP.
Still, as being a good dev and a supporter to lead dev, did accept and the project as lead dev's assistant. Fixed bugs, enhancement and responsive (DEMMIT, I FREAKING HATE RESPONSIVE) and later complained why am I doing front-end tasks, when it's not my task, supposedly. I EXPECTED MORE ON BACK-END TASKS!
(HERE'S THE EPIC ADVISE GOES AND CALLED OURSELVES MASTER)
Me: Master, why did you not started the project in JS Framework instead of native php?
Lead Dev : You know what master, this project has been already done if the client allows US to use WordPress for this project will still be migrated to JS. And now, WE are trapped to make every window size be responsive since there are already a standard for each window screen.
Me: (DO NOT INCLUDE ME IN YOUR FUCKING SORCERY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID THERE AND WHY D'YOU ACCEPT THIS PROJECT, SLAVE, WHEN YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO IT, IN THE FIRST PLACE. STOP BEING A DICKHEAD AND DO NOT WASTE CLIENT'S MONEY AND EFFORT FOR YOUR USELESS BUNCH OF SHIT!) Indeed, responsive is a such a pain in the arse.
Lead Dev: Maybe, let's just finish our tasks first and wait the project to be migrated to JS.
P.S. The project manager and client asked me if I do know how to migrate the project from native PHP to JS framework and sabotaged lead dev. OFCOURSE, YES! But, I did not respond that quickly, unless eerm, you know, I earn greater than lead dev. Truth be told and practically speaking, it's really unfair for me if I accept the back-job when the lead dev delivers inaccurate deliverables and earned greater than me. No way, Jose!
Now, I am not working with him because I'm super done with him and later did I know, lead dev is looking for Drupal dev to be working for the booking project. -
Why do tech impaired people always break their tech and they have "no idea" how it broke...
Seriously? What did you do? You know what you were doing? Were you touching random setting again? For fuck sakes just tell me. You've fucking it up 3 times this week already it's not like I don't know your an incompetent prick.4 -
I know this is sort of off topic but I think Psychology is pretty great sometimes and while it doesn't explain why we behave the way we do, it does a great job studying it, at least. So to explain why fake news is so rampant and why despite us being in the middle of the technology age, so many are still ignorant, they conducted a study on what makes a source credible. It's a very long and thorough study, so I will like it for you to read, but the gist of it is this: any long text which is too boring to read word for word is automatically taken for truth. Images add credibility. And simply adding a reference - even if it isn't a credible reference or if it's not related to the information at all - will make readers assume truth, and most won't even think to validate the links.
Here's the full story:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...2 -
Recruiter on LinkedIn:
"Hi *dev*,
I hope you don't mind me contacting on LinkedIn but I couldn't find your contact details. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't share this awesome job with you. Can U have you're phone number? I think you are a great candidate for this job.
If it's not quite right for you, please refer your contacts!"
Where do I start...
There's a good reason why I don't have my contact details in my profile. I also have a note saying I'm not looking for any jobs at the moment. If I'm "great candidate" what would you ask me to refer my friends? I know they're doing their job, but honestly it feels like they're retarded or something. -
My paper just got rejected. Again. The first time it was expected. But for this journal, it wasn't supposed to be. Some of the reviewers' comments are stupid. (for eg. I mention a no-loss algorithm fir a game which, so his/her comment is like what's no-loss? , like are you fucking kidding me, if you don't know that, then why are you a reviewer in the first place)
Anyway now I don't know what to do. I'm looking for more journals but all have so high impact factors and I'm not even sure confident to submit again. Had a good mind to mail the editor in chief but well, I don't think it'd help. What do you guys think?
In the middle of another project, another paper, online courses, now this. I'm just done. I didn't go home as well. It's around four o' clock in the morning here, so noone here is awake.
Can anyone hear me?5 -
I really really hope that no one post this,a friend texted it to me and I wanted to share it because made my day.
Idk where it comes, so feel free if know where this came from to post it:
//FUN PART HERE
# Do not refactor, it is a bad practice. YOLO
# Not understanding why or how something works is always good. YOLO
# Do not ever test your code yourself, just ask. YOLO
# No one is going to read your code, at any point don’t comment. YOLO
# Why do it the easy way when you can reinvent the wheel? Future-proofing is for pussies. YOLO
# Do not read the documentation. YOLO
# Do not waste time with gists. YOLO
# Do not write specs. YOLO also matches to YDD (YOLO DRIVEN DEVELOPMENT)
# Do not use naming conventions. YOLO
# Paying for online tutorials is always better than just searching and reading. YOLO
# You always use production as an environment. YOLO
# Don’t describe what you’re trying to do, just ask random questions on how to do it. YOLO
# Don’t indent. YOLO
# Version control systems are for wussies. YOLO
# Developing on a system similar to the deployment system is for wussies! YOLO
# I don’t always test my code, but when I do, I do it in production. YOLO
# Real men deploy with ftp. YOLO
So YOLO Driven Development isn’t your style? Okay, here are a few more hilarious IT methodologies to get on board with.
*The Pigeon Methodology*
Boss flies in, shits all over everything, then flies away.
*ADD (Asshole Driven Development)*
An old favourite, which outlines any team where the biggest jerk makes all the big decisions. Wisdom, process and logic are not the factory default.
*NDAD (No Developers Allowed in Decisions)*
Methodology Developers of all kinds are strictly forbidden when it comes to decisions regarding entire projects, from back end design to deadlines, because middle and top management know exactly what they want, how it should be done, and how long it will take.
*FDD (Fear Driven Development)*
The analysis paralysis that can slow an entire project down, with developments afraid to make mistakes, break the build, or cause bugs. The source of a developer’s anxiety could be attributed to a failure in sharing information, or by implicating that team members are replaceable.
*CYAE (Cover Your Ass Engineering)*
As Scott Berkun so eloquently put it, the driving force behind most individual efforts is making sure that when the shit hits the fan, you are not to blame.2 -
You know shit is going to hit the fan if the sentence "c++ is the same as java" is said because fuck all the underlying parts of software. It's all the fucking same. Oh and to write a newline in bash we don't use \n or so, we just put an empty echo in there. And fuck this #!/bin/bash line, I'm a teacher. I don't need to know how shit works to teach shit. Let's teach 'em you need stdio for printf even tho it compiles fine without on linux (wtf moment number one, asking em leaves you with "dunno..") and as someone who knows c you look at your terminal questioning everything you ever learned in your whole life. And then we let you look into the binaries with ldd and all the good stuff but we won't explain you why you can see a size difference in the compiled files even tho you included stdio in the second one, and all symbol tables show the exact same thing but dude chill, we don't know what's going on either.
Oh and btw don't use different directory names as we do in our examples. You won't find your own path, there is no tab key you can press to auto-fill shit.
But thats not everything. How about we fill a whole semester with "this is how to printf" but make you write a whole game with unity and c#. (not thaught even the slightest bit until then btw)
Now that you half-assed everything because we put you in a group full of fucks who don't even know what a compiler is but want to tell you you don't know shit and show you their non-working unfinished algorithms in some not-even-syntax-correct java...
...how about we finally go on with Algebra II: complex numbers, how they are going to fuck up your life, how we can do roots of negative numbers all of the sudden and let you do some probability shit no one ever fucking needs. BUT WHY DON'T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ALREADY HMMMMM, IT'S YOUR SECOND LESSON, YOU WENT TO SCHOOL PLS BE A MATH PRO ASAP CUS YOU NEED IT SO MUCH BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW PROPER SYNTAX, HOW MEMORY MANAGEMENT WORKS, WHAT A REFERENCE IS AND PLS FINALLY FORGET THE WORD "ALLOCATION" IT DOESN'T PLAY A SINGLE ROLE YOU ARE STUDYING SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT ECONOMICS IT MAKES NO SENSE I MEAN YOU HAD A WHOLE SEMESTER OF HOW TO GREET SOMEONE IN ENGLISH, MATHS > ECONOMICS > ENGLISH > FUCKING SHIT > CODING SKILL THATS HOW THE PRIORITIES WORK FOR US WHY DON'T YOU GET IT IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE BRAH4 -
I need to get this out there because you guys and gals are honestly the only people I can vent this to.
I’m working on a program for fun that’ll transfer files over sockets. Nothing too special. But this project is just boring me. I’m not getting any motivation even when I’m getting started. Which didn’t happen last project.
I have a general idea how I’m going to do it but I just can’t sit down and do it because I start overthinking about everything. Like how am I going to do this or that. How am I going to handle feature a, feature b, etc. And I’m just getting a headache and I’m not writing code and I’m JUST FUCKING STARING LIKE AN IDIOT. I don’t even know why it’s not inspiring me because I’ve always wanted to program a file transferring application of some kind and I still do.
I keep doing a bunch of small patches when I work on it and they work and improve it but I am hard on myself because it’s not one big feature or I didn’t work on it for hours. I’m always so fucking hard on myself fuck.
I want to do so much other stuff but I just wanna tough it on through and finish but it’s so uninspired because I don’t even feel like what the final product will feel like others. Like any service that involves transferring files I feel like they don’t function like how I’m thinking they do like I’m trying to make this function.
I feel like everything I’m making is just subpar and not good and I’m trying and I’m trying to improve but I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. And I want to learn a lot of stuff I have shit planned but I can’t get to it because I have to go through uninspired bullshit hell.
Idk14 -
Okay, it's FUCKing rant time.
FUCK single-file *cough* page.tpl.php *cough* drupal-sites
I FUCKing hate sites without any FUCKing structure, where all logic is built into the overall wrapping pageview file.
Spend more FUCKing time than healthy finding this golden nugget.
In a FUCKing 2000+ lines long file, in a FUCKing mix of inline CSS/JS, PHP/SQL and FUCKing exec(); calls.
Definetily the best FUCKing way to destroy a FUCKing lightbox, for people who are not logged in...
- Why would you even do that in the first FUCKing place ?!??! The customer didn't ask for this..
All this FUCKing mess because the previous developer decided to quit, and did not FUCKing care for the next maintainer to come.
Fellow drupal developers will know the struggle.3 -
I'm a C++/Obj-C programmer finding it ludicrously hard to switch to Swift.
I find that the constant ability (leading to very poor programmer code) to reduce syntax and add tokens reduces readability and nowhere is this more apparent that with closures.
I'm working through (to my shame) Ray Wenderlich's Swift course and the closure chapter has this:
PS I loathe K&R as much as I do Swift so it's all in Allman formatting for clarity.
let multiply: (Int, Int) -> Int =
{
(a: Int, b: Int) -> Int in
// do Something else
return a * b
}
Why oh why isn't this more simply and elegantly written as:
let multiply = (a: Int, b: Int) -> Int
{
// do Something else
return a * b
}
The equals sign shows clearly that it's a closure definition assignment, as does the starting 'let'. But this way all of the stupid excesses, like the 'in' keyword, the repetition of the params / return type only this time with useful labels and additional tokens are removed and it looks and reads much more like a regular function and certainly a lot more clearly.
Now I know that with the stupid ability of Swift you can reduce all this down to return $0 * $1, but the point I'm making is that a) that's not as clear and more importantly b) if this closure does something more than just one line of code, then all that complicated stuff - hinted to by the comment '// do Something else' means you can't reduce it to stupid tokens.
So, when you have a clousure that has a lot of stuff going on and you can't reduce it to stupid minimalism, then why isn't is formatted and syntactically better like the suggestion above?
I've mentioned this on the Swift.org (and got banned for criticising Swift) but the suggestions they came up with were 'use type inference' to remove the first set of params / return type and token.
But that still means the param list and return type are NOT on the same line as the declaration and you still need the stupid 'in' keyword!5 -
Yeah, handouts create lazy people I'm not impressed with
You want something in life, then why don't you go and get it?
Actions speak louder than words do, it's pretty quiet, isn't it?
Look at the world we live in, defined by comment sections
Surround yourself with people that challenge how you think
Not people that nod their head and act like they agree
Those people will cut you open just to watch you bleed
Always be yourself, not the person that you pretend to be, no!
These people gon' tell you that you will never make it
Then when you do, they gon' say they knew you were goin' places
That's just how it works, next thing you know you'll be overrated
Hearing people say they miss the "old you, " it's crazy, ain't it?
And perfect people don't exist, so don't pretend to be one
I don't need pats on the back from people for my achievements
When I die I wanna know that I lived for a reason
Anyone can take your life, but not what you believe in, no
Just remember this
Yeah, don't take opinions from people that won't listen to yours
If money's where you find happiness, you'll always be poor
If you don't like the job you have, then what do you do it for?
The cure to pain isn't something you buy at liquor stores, nah
The real you is not defined by the size of your office
The real you is who you are when ain't nobody watchin'
You spend your whole life worried about what's in your wallet
For what? That money won't show up in your coffin, woo!
Yeah, anger's a liar, he ain't got no respect
I fell in love with my pain and I slept with my regrets
Happiness saw it happen, maybe that's why she up and left
Joy called me a cheater, said she ain't coming back
I've always had a problem with relationships
But that's what happens when you see the world through a broken lens
Mistakes can make you grow, that doesn't mean you're friends
Who you are is up to you, don't leave it up to them, no
Just remember this
Yeah, they say you got into music, you signed up to be hated
That's kinda weird cause I don't remember signing my name up
Coming from people that give advice but never take none
I like my privacy, but, lately, I feel it's invaded
I heard that life's too short, don't let it pass you by
We waste a lot of time crying over wasted time
It's not about what people think, it's how you feel inside
My biggest failures in life are knowing I never tried, woo!
I look at the world from a different angle
People change, even Satan used to be an angel
Think twice before you're bitin' on the hand that made you
Don't believe what you believe just 'cause that's how they raised you
Think your own thoughts, don't let them do it for you
Say you want a drink, don't wait for people to pour it on you
Cut out the liars, stay close to the people you know are loyal
Grab your own glass and fill it, don't let your fear destroy you, woo!2 -
The only thing we can do is make a joke about the other bots that are not always in their own mind or if it's just an issue for them and then the other one ☝️ and then you don't get them in your mail to the right place for a long list of all that people you know you are not so far out and it's a joke that is why you haven't even paid for it and it's a lot easier for them but it's just like 👍 is not just the way of things like 👍 is the one ☝️ you don't have it on it but you can't even get the word for that one ☝️ or something that's what it looks it up 🆙 is it a lot better then it's not the one ☝️ thing that you don't have it on it or so you know it looks bad it's a joke it's a bad joke and you can't find a way you don't have a lot to me but I don't know 🤷♂️ or you want me to be like 👍 but you do not have any more than me I don't know 🤷♂️ but that's what I'm talking you know that I'm going through the whole time I'm going through the wrong 😑 thing I've been to you to see if this one ☝️ or I just want you to do something like 👍random when predictive text is dumb as the internet i think that's the reason for this one ☝️ ios keyboard wisdom yes - i had a stroke12
-
I was wondering why my tutor needs a whole ass week to accept my MR.
Today he rejected one, so I got a chance to look at whatever he's doing.
He's checking line by line every single test I make and creates a variable for each dumb thing.
𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥).𝘵𝘰𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘌𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥)? No, this is bullshit.
𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘐𝘋 = 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥
𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥 = 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥
𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘐𝘋).𝘵𝘰𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘌𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘐𝘋)
I don't even know why you would take a week to accept a merge request when all you're doing is creating variables for things you use only once. I'm not even mad, I'm not ranting, I just need to know why would you do such a thing17 -
!dev
Should I be myself? A tougher question than is seems.
I’ve had major struggles, faced and conquered death, travelled the world, and live with highly functioning Aspergers and much more. Not boasting, just laying the background info.
With all of this it has led me understand, on a fundamental level, difficult truths that most people only understand upon death (if ever at all).
These lessons have had an unspeakable positive impact on my life and the way I approach things.
The problem seems to be that many of these truths are non-transferable, and that the process of even mentioning them makes most people uncomfortable.
I understand though, that the best truths in life are ALWAYS uncomfortable, and that there is great value in this for those who choose to accept it.
But should I risk putting these views into the world in a recorded manner?
This is something I struggle with all the time.
Currently, I do not use social media often (devRant excluded) because it is a cancer. Even when FB came out in high school I knew (without having the words to express it) that it was dangerous and cancerous to real life.
But it is such a powerful tool that it cannot be ignored.
———
For example. I moved across the country without a job, away from everyone I ever knew, to pursue the goal of starting my own software businesses.
The responses I got to this included...
“Won’t you miss you family and friends?”
“Why don’t you save for a while and go then?”
“Why don’t you look for a job and leave when you get one?”
“Aren’t you afraid of being alone?”
Most these seem like legitimate questions, and because I cared about these people I treated them as legitimate.
But my real opinion is that every one of those questions is based on either weakness, fear or stupidity.
- Of course I will miss my family and friends, why try to guilt me into sacrificing life for this!
- Why not wait for “the right time”, because the right time never comes. That is an excuse for failures to continue failing.
- Why not wait to get a job? Because that won’t happen if your not there! It’s just a fact, get over it!
- You are alone! You can try to fill your life with people and crap but in the end you are born and die alone! I’ve been dead and know this like I know the sun will rise.
But you see all of that above, for most people that stuff hurts. It seems insensitive and cruel.
It hurts because it is true.
————
That’s just a small sample of things.
The larger question still stand...
Should I be myself?
I really don’t know the answer and don’t expect one to come. Maybe someday I will find a way to do this.
For now I will continue to be what people expect me to be.
———
To end this I am gonna quote the rapper Pusha T and his new album...
“Remember Will Smith won the first Grammy?”
“And they ain’t even recognize Hova until Annie”
“So I don’t tap dance for the crackers and sing Mammy”
Maybe some day I will be able to stop tap dancing...
Maybe
https://open.spotify.com/track/...7 -
Friend: What do you know about Wordpress?
Me: Why???
Friend: My assistant made changes to my organization’s website and now it’s messed up. The page formatting is off.
Me: Wordpress has a version history for some things. Maybe go back to an earlier point in time?
Friend: I think she changed something that the vendor told us not to touch.
Me: Like a custom plugin that your website vendor made?
Friend: Maybe…
Me: Why is your assistant even touching things like that?
Friend: I really don’t want to contact the vendor because I don’t think they’re very good with website development. And I have no idea what this would cost.
Me: You might have to bite the bullet on the cost. And maybe fire that assistant for a butthole move like that. At least you have messaging to explain the wonky css is due to technical difficulties. RIP to your website.5 -
Oh, my worst dev experience.
First of all everyone know it, people who ask you to repair there computer 🤦♂️
Or people who say: "Hey Windows Media player is not working now. Fix it"
But the best moment and worst too is a moment where I present my new website and a friend start to refresh the site with F5 on his browser. I ask him why he do it and he answere "Yeah, you will be rich when I do it"
I don't get it. Why rich? So I ask him and he answere that websites are paid by web request an "clicks" "views" counter.
That was the stupidest thing I ever hear. Okay when I would show ads than maybe it's "true" but without them🤦♂️
But that's not the end after I explained him that it's not so he fucked me up that I would be very stupid because I don't register on a service which pay you for it. I explained him that the only service could be an ad service but no he don't understand it and try to discuss with me that a service like this exist. I ask for a link to the service and he could not answer.
For me it was the worst experience because for me it was the most stupidest thing ever and he try to discuss with me and really we discuss 1 hour about it🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️1 -
So I do not get why people use ReactJS. I hate it. for 3 years passionately. And I have to work with it every day.
- one-way data binding
this makes you write twice as much code, which will have twice as much bugs, you need to read through twice as much code from other devs.
- mixing html and JS
after all I like to pour my coffee on my omlette so I can eat and drink at the same time in the morning. This kills productivity and ugly AF
- not unified
Every dev uses their own special snowflake framework with React there is no unified way of doing things and you cannot use your familiar tools. Every project you need to start over from zero.
- Bugs bugs bugs
infinite loops, max update depth reached, key not present on list element. Let me ask you something dear ReactJS. If you know that there should be a unique key on that element. Why cannot you just put it there and shut the f up?
- works reeaally slow when compiled with TS
ReactJS was never designed to work with TS and now the tools for it are really slow. And why TS? Explicit contract is always better than an implicit contract. TS helps you in coding time, but for some reason React devs decided to worth 3 seconds to wait for compile and then realize you mad an error. ReactJS is bad and inefficient so stop making projects with it please.9 -
can we just get rid of floating points? or at least make it quite clear that they are almost certainly not to be used.
yes, they have some interesting properties that make them good for special tasks like raytracing and very special forms of math. but for most stuff, storing as much smaller increments and dividing at the end (ie. don't store money as 23.45. store as 2,345. the math is the same. implement display logic when showing it.) works for almost all tasks.
floating point math is broken! and most people who really, truely actually need it can explain why, which bits do what, and how to avoid rounding errors or why they are not significant to their task.
or better yet can we design a standard complex number system to handle repeating divisions and then it won't be an issue?
footnote: (I may not be perfectly accurate here. please correct if you know more)
much like 1/3 (0.3333333...) in base 10 repeats forever, that happens with 0.1 in base 2 because of how floats store things.
this, among other reasons, is why 0.1+0.2 returns 0.300000046 -
My first dev job :
Do a front-end in Joomla!. As an internship. Without being paid.
(In France, if you are here for >2 months, they can pay you, or not.)
At least, now I know why Joomla is a no-no when you want to do custom things. Heard that the team working on back-end had problems of PHP, like the PHP appearing and the one Joomla uses "is not the same" or something like this.
And now you know if you didn't. No problem.4 -
hi, i have a question of a darker note, hope you won't mind.
How do you deal with monotony at work ?
The more experienced i get, the more my work becomes monotonous. I understand that it's impossible to know everything, but i feel as if there's not that much knowledge left for everyday work.
Sure there will always be new scenarios and more advanced/marginal stuff, but they don't appear that often.
i get depressed (not clinically, just very bad state overall) when i stop learning, which is why i've been strugling quite a bit recently.
i have ~3 years in web dev. So i'm not some kind of guru or anything even close, but this is the problem i have right now.
i've been thinking about switching languages or specialisation (i do enjoy DevOps/sysadmin work), but i'm afraid i'll have the same problem pretty soon...13 -
So my team got this new clueless "Delivery manager" who doesn't know ANYTHING ABOUT AGILE!
Her favourite timepass ? To eat development team's time asking stupid questions just to make her presence felt. And she does that by visiting each developer personally. MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY !
Why can't you leave the team and let them do some actual work??😑
She would join our scrum meetings to ask questions like "what are story points again?", "How do we calculate team velocity?"
Dear miss Clueless: It's not cool to be dumb! It's cool to take up an online agile crash course if you insist to contribute.
The other day, she suggested a QA guy to "test properly" with a smirk!
I mean seriously ? Was that actually necessary to tell them? This team was working just perfect without you. How about you look before you leap?
I try being nice to her but at times it's just too much to take. -
Why do some people feel the need to prove their stupidity and utter lack of skill in the face of the world?!?!
Yesterday I learned that a sister company is hiring an intern civil engineer to code some application plugins connected to our IS ?!?!? How the fuck do you think he can only understand what the fuck we do?
To put it in context, I'm kind of the CDO of a French medium group (a little cluster of companies), as the group is in the construction industry I'm the CTO for all Computer things. Inside the group, I'm the CTO of the digital factory. So the group IS is a microservice decentralized API REST-based architecture.
Next Monday we'll have a meeting, so I can explain to them why it's a FUCKING STUPID IDEA!!!! The only good thing is that any application programming done outside of the Digital Factory will be handled as an External Company Application, so it's not my problem to secure it, debug it, or simply make it work. And they already know that I'll enforce this ruling!!!
But WHY the fuck do they still think any mother fucker can professionally program!!!!!! Every time I have to deal with them It's horrendous!!!! I had to prove them why using a not encrypted external drive for a high security mission It's stupid!!!, and why having the same password for every account is FUCKING STUPID!!!
The most ridiculous part is they have a guy who really believe he has some IT skills!! Saying things like "SVN" it's a today tool (WTF), firewall are useless, etc....
WHY!!!! WHY!!!!2 -
Why do technical interviewers expect and force you to know a made-up word such as SOLID and treat it as if it's a gospel?
Is this "SOLID" a technical standard now that should be taught in schools?
I'm not against learning and using the principles in SOLID. I just find it funny (and weird) that if I didn't watch the talk by the guy who came up with SOILD, I wouldn't be able to answer the interviewer.17 -
boss: numbers being aside. Why is this happening 40% of the time.
me: (thinking) wtf what an idiot. wtf do you think?!
type: (politely) Well the number being wrong suggests it's *not* happening 40% of the time.
I don't know who I hate more, myself for not point out how dumb that question is. or the person asking the question. -
Okay so for all of you who think that you can't do shit without stackoverflow. I'll tell you this, fuck SO. There's this ancient technique of programmers of old probably just about 20-25 years ago called RTFM. Why bother copy pasting some one else's spaghetti(that you might not fully understand) when you can write your own better code! (said in good faith). When something is behaving strange or you don't know what something requires just hit the docs or manual and read about the api because it is describes not only what it wants and needs but also what it does. So try this because it might have more information that you need than stack overflow might tell you12
-
Part of the problem, So many dev's here know the real problem with OS's governments and 3ed party apps happly spying on you and making there EULA to so called make it right for them to do it.
I want to know why so many dev's are portending this is not happen or why they not caring, you become part of the problem if your willing to work with the problem and there rules and guide lines.
WE dictate the future of tech not one company or another the people that create the software are the ones can make a difference, the users need to be educated and the dev need to take action now.
I loved this site at first but now I hate it I really do as so many posts are just blind or follow evil companies/software so on this is not how it should be, I wont accept this bull shit anymore and I not going to say quite to show the mass I going to follow them.
Step up and do something about it or stop calling yourself's dev's your part of the problem, you have the a gift and know how to help everyone do it and prove your worth.
I am really sorry I know some here do research and try and help but I rarely seeing it at the moment, things need to change, its not going to be easy but only the dev's can change this and soon, soon all OS's/software companies will get the feeling governments are on there side and governments what this so they have a back door in to WHO you are. FK the or if you have nothing to hide, EVERYONE has something to hide, compaines have already used Facebook Data to fire people working for them as they feel they shouldn't have to have someone working for them who likes or does XYZ,
Open your eyes people, small time dev's are not really included in this but big time dev's that do know how to work around these problems should be working on this to stop these problems, hardware venders are also a big problem but that's not something we can do anything about yet.
I know this rant will go on death ears to some, others will think I am over the top nut but if you really want to make a differences let's here it, lets get this world back on track, its not going to be easy but it we can do it.28 -
I think the one of the more common reason for imposter syndrome is that a lot of smart people constantly get told as children the "you're so smart/capable, you can do everything!" too much, and when you hear it enough times, it gets to you, so you think everything is just easy. And then when they start hitting roadblocks, instead of helping or explaining that it's normal for things to be hard and it's normal to fail, usually parents and teachers and whatnot tell them "Oh it's okay, don't worry about it, you're smart, you'll get it" and so they at first it works, maybe it just takes more time but they manage, but as things get harder and they still put little effort because "don't worry, you're so smart, you learn so fast/easy" and as they find out more and more things they don't umderstand or don't know they start to feel a dissonance, which builds anxiety.
And this is where I thinks it actually starts: at some points there comes a situation where they either share this anxiety with someone or someone notices their worry, and(at least from what I've seen from others) usually the response they get is something along the lines of: "Nah, you're just worrying too much, you're smarter than you think, don't be so down on yourself, you need to worry less", which, maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not sure telling someone that thinks he has a problem that he doesn't have a problem, helps their worrying.
And on one hand the amount if things they don't get/know/understand or fail at grows(cuz you can't just be good at EVERYTHING, so the more things you know about, the more things you don't understand) while mentally still being in that "Wait a minute, you're smarter than this, you should be getting this!" mindset that's been drilled into them, and so at some point the illusion shatters, and they start to think "Maybe I'm not so smart after all", and because they think they were wrong about their level, they feel like they have "oversold" themselves in the past and that makes any past accomplishments feel like lucky accidents instead: "If I'm not actually smart, the things I did manage to achieve must've been just accidental", which makes them feel like they've lied to themselves and everyone else when they "took credit for an accidents" and that their life is just a snowball of pretending.
Now, is that actually a cause or is it another one of my crazy 1AM ramblings? I don't know xD
I'm not an expert in any of this and I don't really know any psychology so hell if I know if that's how any of this works but that's just my theory of one of the reasons why. *shrug*. I've had this theory for years, but I don't know.
It at least makes sense to me, but not everything that makes sense is true soooo.
Anyways, wall of text is over.
Oh, and for anyone struggling with imposter syndrome: I just want you to know, it's okay to fail, and it's okay to not know shit, especially in the dev industry where every "insignificant" detail can have an entire rabbit hole of expertise behind it, nobody can expect to know every part of it. And it doesn't make you any less smart no matter how much you fail. Tnis shit is hard, so I hope you stay strong and I hope you succeed in whatever it is you're struggling with.
*Massive virtual hug* <31 -
Every meeting that contains one or more of the following points:
- "I don't think it belongs in the meeting, but"
- "Didn't get the meeting notes"
- "When's the food coming?"
- "I know we've said no technical discussion, but..."
- "Why is he so strict, this is no fun meeting at all :("
- "I think it's unfair to include risk assessment, you blame US before XY is finished"
- "The admins / the Team XY / ZX didn't talk with us, so we don't talk with him / her / them..."
- "Why are we here?"
- "Why is it so bad when production is down?"
- "I didn't know we do security / audit checks... Why hasn't anyone told us?"
- "Not happening. I'm against it"
- "I don't want to work with XY - he doesn't do it like I want it"
...
I could add thousand more things here.
I had countless meetings where I really thought that I was an alien who got broadcasted in a comedy reality TV soap...9 -
Story time!
I was with some friends, one a CS student and the other one's a mechanical engineer student with coding like a hobby.
I was listening to a song from which the band released the stems (individual tracks) of a song, and this dude made an anime version of it.
Me: Oh God, this is awesome
Mech: how did he do that?
Me: What? The song?
Mech: Yeah, how did he split the voice and everything, is the music like an Ajax request and he queried for the voice
Me and my other friend lock eyes and began to laugh so fucking hard.
Me: that's not how it works, why did you though that?
Mech: I don't know -
Why are most jobs just about web development or mobile development? (I'm not criticizing I'm a mobile developer myself)
Is it JUST purely because of the market need and people using them?
Share your opinion on this one and what other career paths in CS do you know about you think would benefit from more people in them.2 -
Hey, you, my new colleague, you are annoying. I have reviewed your PR and left about 50 comments on your mess. I even explained to you why half of your code is shit in a very polite way. I have explained why you have to rewrite that and even how to do that in the best way possible. Result? Half of the code is gone, it works as before but without the overhead.
Now you're annoying cuz I have to go again on conventions and best practices. I totally understand that you've been doing it differently and throwing buzz words at me won't help. Just stop and do it as it's needed in this project, don't reinvent the wheel only because you can.
You know what? Fuck it! I'll approve all your PRs, anyway I am leaving soon. There is no benefit for me to teach you stuff. You're one of those guys that I voted against in interviewing process. But guess what? My manager decided to hire you anyway! Ha! I rarely vote NO and you were a one of those...
Your confidence doesn't impress me. That works on people that have no clue on what you are doing. Your just average at best, not a superstar.
Fuck it, you're on your own now!1 -
I have good knowledge frontend/backend web development but i didnt know php cause i heard so much shit about it. I finally made up my mind to learn it.
I fucking hate php
>>> MAMP doesnt fucking work when i installed it
>>> After it finally works, I change the sql password. WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED TO GO TO LIKE 10 FILES AND CHANGE THE GODDAMN PASSWORD IN EACH ONE.
>>> php doesnt work if the <?php tag isnt at the top -> this shit wasnt even mentioned
>>> why the fuck would you use '->' for everything when a simple '.' would suffice.
>>> useless class system (more like a pseudo class system)
>>> foreach ($list as $item) dafuq that is not even correct english, what is wrong in "foreach ($item in $list)"
i hate php10 -
For credential errors on login forms..
Do you guys follow the “OWASP standard” and won’t let the user know which field (email or password) was incorrect, just a general message or the more UX-way and let them know that it is for example the password that doesn’t match with given email (if it exists)? 🤔
Had a minor “discussion” about this with our sales-guy this afternoon why that I’m (as the full-stack, and only, developer there) not that of a fan about the UX-way.. (even thou ‘security’ is a “myth”). 😁9 -
Me, working hard on a SQL project with a deadline that is half what it should be with no support from the other people on the project and was mostly made with with data I imagined would be in there cos no one could get me any fucking shit done (i.e. effectively designed, built, tested, fixed, upgraded, documented on my own for an entire weekly/monthly/ad-hoc analysis process that would output various reports for internal/external/management)
Manager - man who is a known waste of space but for some reason is in charge of the smallest part of the project, shouldn't have been fucking involved fucking management guzzling stain magnet...
Manager: Hey, do I need to refresh the database?
Me: .................
Me: .................
Me: ............I dunno, do you think we should refresh the database that this entire project is reliant? I mean...why do we need up to date transactions to analyse? Wait....you telling me it's not been being refreshed this ENTIRE time?
Manager: No....you never said I should. So should I?
Me: ..................I never said you should!?!? Are you not in the meetings talking about dependencies?????? Do you think i should have up to date trans or just run this with old stuff????? Why would you not update it!??!!?!?!? Its transactions...... (Desperately trying not to punch through my screen, through his, into his throat)
Manager: ..............
Me: .................
Manager: I think i'll refresh it and add it to the job?
Me: ....................(goes back to work cursing with music in so I think its quiet but who knows).
Tard, don't know how he even gets to work without someone holding his fucking hand.
Happy ending, I don't work there anymore :p
Sad ending, his spirit of tard follows me to my new jobs and possesses someone (or three sometimes) -
"All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it’s normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work … It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions … It’s gonna take awhile … You’ve just gotta fight your way through." - Ira Glass
-
I was having some trouble accelerating the delivery of a new feature and so my team leader joined me for some pair programming (awesome!). Five minutes later I was selecting some, text while explaining some problems, and he stops me.
Team leader: you know, you can select all that text by double clicking it;
Me: ok (continuing to explain)
Team leader: you have to be faster with that;
Me: That's not the point right now;
Why do people focus so much on these little things?! I really like pair programming, or just pairing to think about a problem, but this kind of things really get under my skin...
(Silver lining: Cool team leader that didn't snap after I told him to focus 😅)2 -
==============
Getting Feedback Rant!
=============
When "this is simpler" feedback results in a function of 500 lines of code.
When I get "don't do X" in the feedback. Thank you very much. What do you want me to do instead?
Unclear feedback.
When the feedback giver changes his mind after I applied the changes!
When applying the feedback introduces a bug.
Simply opinionated feedback that is not enforced by any tool or backed up by any facts.
Please find something better to do in life.
Unactionable feedback.
"Consider X"
I will not consider thank you very much.
"Verify this works"
Duh..
When the feedback giver knows something that you don't.
I know this is a legit case.. still annoying.
"I disagree with the feature"
Go argue with the PM, not relevant to me, thanks!
=====================
GIVING FEEDBACK RANT
=====================
I rewrote the system. Please review it.
No need to review, just approve.
I will change this as part of the next ticket.
I would like to keep it the way it is.
lazy ass..
You can't test this.
It's impossible to test this.
No need to test this.
There's no point to test this.
I'll test this on production.
Not sure why this is working..
Please document this..
Because documentation is like a thing, you know.
Oh, this code is not related to this PR, I just don't want to open a new branch for such a small change. ignore it.
Ignore this.
This will be meaningful in my next change. -
I like style checkers. I really do. I may not agree with any of the rules they force upon the rules, but I will bury that for consistent code. That said, why, oh why, does this damn thing have to fail out the build rather than just warning me in the IDE. This fucker takes 15 minutes to build and when it fucks the build, it's a huge waste of time.
That said, anyone know how to get check style rules out of Maven and put them in IntelliJ? Myself and my team would love you forever.3 -
People in this discussion will refer to my classmates doing their project we were allowed to choose like 3 months ago and back then I already told them they won't ever manage to make it work in time.
People: "yo could you help real fast"
Me: "aaah not again but okay why not"
People: "here's the code"
Me: "the fuck is this? What is it supposed to do?"
People: "ummm it should doooo eeeerrr... Like this and .... Yeah we don't know. The output should look like that but it doesn't"
Me: "the fuck did you even try to do. That'll never work. And I told you the same thing like 3 months ago when you just chose the project. Just go and use some random math lib you find"
People: "kkkk"
Their code seriously made no sense at all. Parsing substring within like 5 nested loops and like 20vars called "s1" and "theString" and what not. -
Microsoft is always at it.
Hello, I recently discovered this eye candy of a looking website and how good the CSS looks (Kudos to whoever made this) , and I decided to post a rant of my own. And its about MS Edge and other applications.
So I built my own ATX tower a while back (Loving it) , and I found that it was WONDERFUL to have a computer that was brand new, that didnt have candy crush preinstalled on it when I got it.
Windows 10 users, do this:
Press WIN+I to open the settings menu.
Go to "Apps"
Scroll down the list....
How many applications do you see there that are actually useful , or that you have downloaded?
I never downloaded a Realtek Driver... and I never need it for anything to work. This is the case for 90% of the things you may see in the applications.
Why is HULU installed?
Why is NETFLIX installed?
Why is MINECRAFT BETA INSTALLED? THE BETA HASNT BEEN OUT IN YEARS?
But I digress, this is the case when I work on a computer such as my grandmothers who, bless her soul, isnt very adept at basic file management. Heck , she uses free Norton Antivirus against my recommendation to use the PAID active firewall application on her computer (VIPRE)
So needless to say she needs help. All the time.
So here comes microsoft recently, reinstalling like 15 different programs on her computer , including MS edge. Who else is tired of bloating? I know I am.
I recently found this program on Git!
Its the Sycnex Windows 10 DeBloater
But guess what? DONT USE IT.
Wanna know why?
Because if you do, it works, and if it works, it disables:
- Cortana (basic search engine for your OS, good luck finding candy crush).
- Microsoft Store (That means no XBOX games pass either)
- It breaks part of the file explorer
Wanna know why? BeCaUsE it geTs riD oF Ms EdGe
And believe it or not, apparently MS edges source code is Mandatory for certain functions on your computer. So even If you try to uninstall the browser, it stays behind in some form.
So there you have it. They hard coded it into windows.
Enjoy!
So its not even the author of the GITHUB programs fault, its just a real techincal limitation of the platform.
I hate that stuff man. I really do. There should be 20 things installed on my computer and thats it. Everything else is just, space for games on a solid state. Or Eclipse Photon, etc.
I would post links to show you guys a few things but. Unfortunately I cant post URLs yet!
However, thats my first rant. Hope you liked it.20 -
Have you ever tried to share your very simple project on FB groups which you just learned how to build? I got a lot of cheerful remarks and 2 to 3 haters. I don't know why they're trying to hate on but I'm just sharing my work and code. How do u not get a bad day and continue to improve yourself with this type of situation?3
-
I honestly do not understand the hate for Macs. I know I'm not the first to rant about it, but it's sad that I have to. Yes, you can build a crazy PC with 172828 cores over-clocked to 79Thz for like $7 and have a taco along with it, but that's not the point. Each of them are good for their own things. Maybe, I don't want to spend the first 13 hours figuring out which version of Linux I need to run after I get a computer. I mean give me a break. Each of them are personal preferences. What people often don't see in Macs are value you get with service and surprisingly useful default apps (I'm looking at you Open office) and a solid feature set. Why am I even writing this, it's fucking 2AM.15
-
I have a lot to say..
In my project theres a design department, since the beginning of the project they didn't want to be part of the scrum methodology..(they used to work waterfall..)
So.. they have a disorder on the user history needs, and they argue for every request that we need to finish the history..
They dont go to the plannings, dailys.. they dont know shiet!
And meanwhile telling u this rant im getting mad as fuck..
so at this point i cant even explain how FUCKING UPSET I AM & WHY THE FUCK people reject the change and decides to work by their own! fuck this!
anyways ill share 2 storys ( i have a lot..)
1. "Raise your hand if you dont know whats a button?"
So we created a standard button to be re used it in other forms..
The designer came late to the planning, and decided to change the button layout (again x4) & it's behavior, so he wanted "the button disabled, but not disabled", since he wasnt able to explain it as well, he got upset.. and said that we didn't know about how a button works & asked the public to raise up the hand who didnt know what is a button.. and we were like :
dude are u fucking serius?.. u cant even explain what the fuck u want, u came late, and know u act like if you teach about ux & design? fucking rockstars..
2. "why do you call me to the planning if you don't need anything from me?"
We ask and required the designer to be in the plannings to avoid the disorder and the delivery delays..
that day we didn't require anything from the designer, so he started complaining that we called him for no reason..
me : dude, d u even realize why is this meeting called planning? -
Nothing like client requesting "Hey can you add a virus scan for every goddamn file in the pipeline ? (We don't know what antivirus software you can use, neither do we know what are the consequences of this virus scan failing. We also don't know why a system admin is not doing this server wide instead of a software Dev doing it for this specific individual component. Heck we don't even know why do we need the virus scan in the first place) You might need to think 'outside the box'. Let's hope this is done by 12th Jan. Regards" on a Friday goddamn night
They probably even expect me to write my own antivirus software instead of paying for one
Why is industry like this ? Is there really any polite way to deny this ?15 -
inspired by another rant. quick questions!
1. without checking, how do you scan a QR code on your phone? does it have a built-in setting? does it require an app? do you have it?
2. when was the last time you scanned a QR code?
my guess for most people is 1. idk. maybe it's there. maybe not. 2. haven't.
so why are they fucking everywhere? on every advertisment, receipt, payment terminal, etc.
I have nothing against QR. it's a great thing, and would be super useful if I didn't have to go out of my way to get a third party app just to scan it. but it makes me curious: is it this inconvenient for everyone? why are they all over the place? I've literally never seen someone scan one, and many people I know don't even know what it is!16 -
fuck it, tell me straight.
Can i live into this tech world with poor math skills and no interest in web dev and designing?
my experience as native mobile dev was enjoyable and still is, but i fear that this is not a very broad career choice.
You see their is blockchain, dapps , hybrid apps, webapps, server designing, tensorflow models and Ai models( though they can be integrated with native apps too i guess ) , and many more tech and therefore jobs that rely on knowing about the webdev. and all i know is how to make a decent native java app.
and why the fuck should i join this web dev cult? its such a fucking mess. 8 different types of text sizes sizes, <b> and <strong> being the same thing, do you know about a thing called abstraction? My android studio would give me fucking murder warnings if i even dared to introduce hard coded texts along with code. and here, an html page is basically text + attributes? fucking kill me.3 -
Use Maven, they said... it's better, they said... you don't have to manage dependencies yourself, they said...
...only now I've spent three days in hell trying to figure out why Maven keeps insisting on sticking INCOMPATIBLE JARs in my WAR that causes a breakage when deployed. No matter what I do it still sticks stuff in the WAR that shouldn't be there!
Like, I'm not a lazy cunt, I can manage my own dependencies! I know what's supposed to be there, oh, and by the way, everything fucking works when I build with Ant instead and I'm in full control of what winds up in the WAR.
So, basically, instead of the "hassle" of having to download JARs myself, I've now got the hassle of dealing with Maven trying to be more clever than me.
I know which I'd rather have, especially right now. ARGH!
You know, any time someone says "this is an industry-standard and that's why you should use it" my first thought is "hmm, which of these buildings is tallest and will ensure a quick death when I inevitably jump off of it?" MOST ESPECIALLY when the company just decides X is what everyone is going to switch to, regardless of what they're using now and regardless of how many YEARS it's been that way and working perfectly. Nope, doesn't matter, just get onboard the freight train, and if your productivity takes a hit, if you start missing deadlines dealing with shit you didn't have to deal with when using the "worse" tools, well, I guess that doesn't fucking matter, does it?!
And that's not even talking about the fact that the Maven build takes almost four minutes, which is just about 4x as long as the Ant build it replaced, each and every fucking time I make a change.
Look, I'm sure there are solutions and I'm sure I'll find them next week because I always do... and I'm sure there's some tweaking we can do to improve the performance... and it's not like this is my first go-round with Maven, though it's probably the most complex project I've ever tried to do with it... by my fucking dear god this is a nightmare, and it's not a nightmare of my choosing.
I'm disgusted, tired and defeated, three things I never get when it comes to technology. Congratulations Maven, you're on the verge of breaking someone who doesn't get broken. Another day like the last three and I'm not gonna need Stackoverflow, I'm gonna need a bus schedule so I can figure out exactly when to step off the fucking sidewalk!10 -
I have a huge axe to grind about companies sending me emails I have not consented to. Sometimes they have a checkbox for it, which I always, ALWAYS make sure I do not check. Sometimes they just add you automatically as soon as you enter your email adress.
Sometimes the 'Unsubscribe' link leads to a dead page, or just doesn't work.
And sometimes... They send you a bunch of emails to let you know they will absolutely stop sending you emails 😑
Why. Why? WHY? WHYYYYY?!?!?
Why are so many, even otherwise respected and very customer satisfaction minded companies so disgustingly cavalier or downright dirty about emails?
Even after this whole GDPR thing! -
So, I work as a sysadmin junior (6 months and going), and in the past few months, I learned what my boss warned me about - Devs don't understand us admins, and we don't understand the devs.
We have this huge client who is about to migrate to our company (We do mostly server managment/Housing/Renting), and I am so gald I don't have to work on the migration myself!
Just hearing what the company devs say makes me facepalm: No, it won't work. It cannot work on just 3 machines (They use like... 20 in total), no, we won't get rid of our docker swarm, that's essential (Doing the absolute minimum in their infrastructure, just a fancy buzzword to lure people on. Though they've spent like 2 years developing the app that uses it, so they my not want to give it up).
I kid you not, once, they replied to an email that contained the phrase "To be afraid of/worried about" something during the migration, that something could break, not work, be unstable. 7 times.
Might not sound as bad, but it was a rather short mail, and when they're so afraid of everything, its kinda hard to cooperate with them.
My colleague literally spent this entire week mapping out /their/ infrastructure, because they were unable to provide us with the description themselves.
And as a cherry on top, they sent us a "graph" of relationships of all the parts of their infrastructure that was this jumbled mess of rectangles and arrows. Oh, and half of all the machines were not even in the graph at all! Stating that "We also have all this, but I really don't know how to ilustracte the interactions anymore"
Why do companies like that exist? If you build an infrastructure yourself, shouldn't at least someone know exactly how it works?1 -
I have a question, but first some background. When I got my first job, it wasn't clear cut what I would do, but I ended up doing frontend. I really liked doing frontend, so I continued doing so and I still do to this day. I even work alongside designers in a design studio, so I feel very much like a frontend developer.
Obviously, the term "frontend" these days implies someone, in some ways, writing a web, mobile or desktop app using javascript. For me, frontend is also about stuff like accessibility, design, code delivery, and understanding the end-users and the designers that may have prototyped something for you.
I have not been active in any other dev communities than this place, but it seems to me like a frontend developer is pretty much the lowest common denominator ( I guess in terms of skills). If I am right, I do not know why, which is why I'm hoping someone could explain.9 -
!dev
https://epicgames.com/fortnite/...
This url brings to error page with invalid email address that will actually autoreply "We're writing to let you know that the group you tried to contact (do-bug) may not exist, or you may not have permission to post messages to the group. A few more details on why you weren't able to post"
Okay, sure. This may happen to indie stuff etc.
But we are talking about bigass company thats fucking trying to assasinate steam (and so far kindda fails). You dont want to show customers error messages, sure, but at least, if you do it, and you tell your customer to send email to admin, make fucking sure that you provide an actually fucking working email. Is it so hard?
No wonder they cant conquer steam. And thats positive side3 -
So I'm on PTO for a week, and there is some feature for which I gave the estimations to the other team. That team thinks that eastimates are high and I'm getting pinged to think about it.
First of all they did the overriding of some feature which was required by our team without our knowledge and now when we got know what they did, they are asking us to do the work. I have an estimate and yes they are higher than expected because this feature is on their systems and I don't have complete understanding of it. This is ridiculous though but still I think that I'm wrong somewhere but I know this work is not easy for me, that's why estimations are high.
I'm on leave, I'm not supposed to be working anyway even if it's a small clarification.
Adding more here, that guy tagged another person from my team to do the work as I'm on leave. This guy did some work before too. But this is insane. HOW THE FUCK YOU EXPECT US TO DO IT FOR YOU!! YOU FUCKED IT UP!!!
I feel scared, what if the other guy can actually do the work, people will think I'm just stupid.:(((8 -
Why the fuck is everyone behind this whole privacy thing . I mean what did you expect , servers do cost... you know . No one wants to provide you a service to chat with your shit collecting butler in the adjacent room unless it's going to benefit them .
Stick your face on the internet and want people to date you ?
Understand that your virtual social needs need to be supported by a ridiculous amount of electricity and man power which wouldn't be required if you could just throw out your rotting willie nilles in the open .
All this isn't fucking free .. wait were you shocked ? Oh so you just thought there were a few thousand servers powering buckets of pictures of horse poop that you for some reason thought your girlfriend was interested in . NO!
IT'S PRIVACY you are paying with your gaddamn privacy !! Information pays just like the time you paid a 100 bucks to the boyfriend of your girlfriend to find out more details .
Ridiculous . You people don't like ads . You don't like paying . You don't like providing information . THEN DON'T USE THE DAMN INTERNET .
IF YOU'RE REALLY THAT CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR PRIVACY THEN SPEND SOME VALUABLE TIME TO ACQUIRE ENOUGH OF A SKILLSET TO SETUP A VPN AND STOP POSTING YOUR PHONE NUMBER ON YOUR EX'S WALL ASKING HER TO CALL YOU.
One more honest thing to rant about is ads . As much as you hate them they're an easy way out . I'm not sure why a 20 second ad would bother you on mobile and not on television and I'm not sure why you wouldn't buy the ad company and shut it down if 20 seconds were so costly to you .
I want to rant even more on uninstalling services like Windows and Google for stupid reasons but I'll take a break here . My frustration has touched low levels.13 -
client: "can you build out a staging server for us? here's all the code, everything you need"
me: "awesome, looking good, i have almost everything i need, just give me the credentials for the server, and I'll get started installing all the infrastructure"
client: "ok, try these!"
me: "doesn't work"
client: "this one?"
me: "doesn't work..."
client: "how about this one?"
me: "STILL NOT WORKING!!!"
imagine you want someone to do stuff on your server and you don't even know the root SSH password.... smh
why is this always a problem, use fucking 1password or something its 40 bucks a year, secure, and you can organize alllll your passwords. don't be a fucking boomer and write them on a piece of paper, or worse, apparently like my client, never know it or have it in the first place.5 -
It's too early to be asking these questions today:
Are your DB schema changes checked into source control?
What branch are they checked into?
Why are the schema changes checked into one branch, but deployed to a completely different database?
Is my CI pipeline deploying incorrectly? Oh, you manually deployed changes.
Are your DB changes in source control an accurate reflection of what you actually put in the staging database?
Why not?
Can I just cherry-pick update my schema with your changes from the staging database?
Why is there a typo in your field name?
Oh. Why is there a typo in the customer data set? Don't they know how to spell that word?
Why is the fucking staging database schema missing three critical tables?
Is the coffee ready? I need coffee.
Why is the coffee not ready yet?
What's going on in DevRant this morning?
What project am I working on now anyway?
Did my schema update finish yet?
Yup, it finished. Crap. Where the hell do I keep those backup files?
What's the command line to restore the file again?
Why doesn't our CLI tool support automated database restores?
I can fix that. What branch name should I check the CLI tool into?
What project was I working on this morning again?1 -
So Mr. D is a lecturer at ENS Lyon and they think my application fro grad school is **interesting** and they want to have a virtual meeting with me. This is the first email of this genre that I receive without a thank you note.
However, I remember that I applied for a master's of Computer Science, NOT Fundamentals of it (Do I look like I have a death wish?). I thought, like all other universities that don't specify this bit, that I would choose my research interest there and pursue it. Also, I used my undergrad uni alumni email for the application, so why contact me using my Gmail? And what does he mean by saying my file was judged "interesting"?
I don't know, it feels both creepy and wrong. When people apply with an email address to your position/program, you use the same address to get in touch with them. Not anything else you scrapped out of the internet, right?2 -
Android 12, stop telling me every other day which app has permission to access my location in the background. I know, I gave permission, and I want to keep the setting "Allow all the time". Where's the "don't ask again" option?
And why does this happen for an app released by the German federal government (about once a week) but never, ever for your shitty Google Maps that always seems to know where I've been (at least if don't leave my phone at home, which is hard to do in times when you have to show your digital proof of vaccination everywhere yo go). Fucking Android, fuck the Android 12 clunkiness (inspired by Apple's iOS?) and fuck the fucking notifications. This is my phone, I paid for it, I own it, I want to turn off this bullshit. Wait, Google, once I find time to get back to LineageOS/Cyanogenmod you will never see a trace of my digital existence again. Oh, and fuck your "digital wellbeing" as well! At least you let me turn that off. Yes, I know, I am not grateful, but that's what devrant is for, isn't it? Fuck you, Google!2 -
In today's job interview for an apprenticeship for the "Anwendungsentwicklung" position where they specialize in SAP systems (ABAP).
They told me that this position is a new thing in their company and that they want me, once I agree with their contract (which they will send later), to take responsibility for that.
I'm fine with that.
Now comes the part that is bugging me. They also said that the IT manager does not want to be disturbed often, if I have questions.
(I mean I will definitely have some questions. I am an apprentice after all, right? Like why should I join your apprenticeship program, if you refuse to teach me stuff? I can study on my own, as well and not be in your program.)
Just a few times and that's it. They admitted that they do not know much about that position and that I have to learn most things myself. No books and no other resources. They also do not know where the school is going to be yet.
The people in the interview I've spoken to where nice and we made some jokes here and there, but the fact that the company does not want to support me in an apprenticeship is saddening.
I do not know...maybe I'm just too concerned and this is normal day to day stuff for apprentices, but from what I have read about apprenticeships this is not the right thing to do as a company on the internet.
Correct me in the comments, if you think differently.
I will use this company as a last resort.6 -
Me : .. but sir without sass/js compiled, how can we address the issue?
Boss : that is not an issue, issue is with on approach we have taken?
You sick fuck, you take other developers un-finished work, expect me to finish it (which it did) and when the other developer is not smart enough to copy paste the solution, you give an "update" to me, I mean how the fuck, what ever..
I really really put efforts to make this shit happen, I know very little about your commerce cloud shit, but when you question my logic on basis of someone who will pay you to finish her work, it is very unethical and hard to swallow it down.
Maybe this is my first real job, that is why this is so hard, but I gotta do what I gotta do -
Okay I got a genius/exceptionally stupid idea.
Some of you may know Xi. If not, it's an, in development, text editor backend, written in Rust.
It does all the heavy lifting and communicates changes with the Frontend over an rpc-api, typically on stdin/stdout.
Now, why don't we do this, but for other kinds of applications, that have been reinvented a million times, because a feature is missing or the ui has been shit.
Cross-Platform backends for file-managers, web browsers, password managers, media players,...2 -
!dev
There are no right answers in parenting, but there are sure as hell wrong ones and if the fucking backfire effect is too much to keep you from realizing that half of your stupid fucking decisions are delusional at best then you should probably start rethinking some things. I fucking hate dealing with other people fucking up and being stupid and I know I'm going to have to keep dealing with it in one form or another but god why I'm so done with this I just fucking don't want to deal with anyone anymore I don't want to deal with myself anymore
I dunno I don't have anyone to rant to so I can't like be specific here because it's public af but you know typing this makes me feel a little better but I still just don't want to deal with this shit anymore I don't even know what I do want to do there's like nothing the positive feedback is going away and I don't know what to fucking do with myself and I don't know how to change anything I can't fucking fix anything I mean I can fix my shitty code but I'm never getting anywhere with that and whenever I want to fix anything that's actually important I just fuck up regardless of how hard I try I just don't want to fucking try anymore I don't know if I'll actually hit post but I have to put this somewhere so probably but ugh I don't even fucking ugh literally all of my problems are so fucking dumb and small and elementary but I CAN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING I keep ranting about these fucked up people I have to deal with and yeah they fucking suck and sometimes I wish they didn't exist but I know I'm just as if not more of an idiot and everyone would probably be better off if I didn't exist but wait no that would have happened but you guys don't get to know about that because it's specific and putting that here would fuck shit up but someone else could so that so much better and I don't know everyone who interacts with me is just hurting themselves like fuck why do some friends like blades better than me maybe because I'm even less caring and even more damaging than a stupid fucking inanimate sharp piece of metal god fucking ugh okay I can't focus on anything why is this even okay side rant why are atheists so fucking hated like yes maybe some can't understand their motives for like doing things but nobody can really understand each other's like religious people all use god or gods in their own way why do you have to think of people who have zero gods as opposed to your nonzero as less human than you there's so much wrong with that okay that side rant is over but this whole thing is a side rant so cool fuck my life lol uuh I don't know I don't want to stop typing I don't know why though I guess I just actually I have no fucking idea I'm just here doing this I should be like fucking asleep I'm passing the fuck out after this ugh okay okay okay okay okay okay okay umm I really want to quote a certain person that I really hate right now and dissect them and prove every single fucking stupid argument they make wrong but I feel like that would not be good since this is so public but I swear I hate this and you know what if you're thinking that yes I AM A FUCKING WHINY BITCH DEAL WITH IT I'M WHINING YOU DENSE FUCKER YOU DON'T HAVE TO POINT IT OUT AND FEEL SMUG IT'S BETTER TO VENT HERE THAN A LOT OF OTHER WAYS SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP OKAY ACTUALLY FUCK IT CALL ME OUT ON IT I NEED SOMETHING TO TAKE THIS OUT ON GOD AAAAAAH okay uuh yeah that's fun I'm a fuck up okay okay so you ask "how can you be a fuck up you're so young her der" okay being young generally is a disadvantage because you haven't had opportunity but boy have I and I sure fucked every single one of those up so yeah fun stuff you know woo haha mmkay I wish I had friends online this late because then I could like rant to a person and shit I mean this community is people but not people I know and it's not really back and forth as much and ugh okay right uuh yeah good um ugh I used to be able to get this shit out by doing something I'm good at but now I'm shit at everything and I can't motivate myself and it's all just bottled up and there's so much shit and nothing works and fuck there's probably a simple solution to everything I'm facing but I'm such a dense piece of shit that I can't find any of those stupid fucking ugh okay now I'm looking at my stupid hands typing ugh I hate the things right back up here uuh uuh I have 500 charas left lets fucking go I don't want to stop I mean I do want to stop but like by that I mean I just want to not exist I do want to keep typing here because it's the only thing distracting me but yeah uuh right um some people were like wtf happened with your stalking thing and this isn't where I should put it but fuck it whatever some weird guy just logged on for 10 mins to take a screenshot of the time being 2:22:22 and logged off and boom the school year ended uuh yeah kay right fuck I have to end it now
Aaaah okay uuh right bye I'm really sorry if you actually read that whole thing4 -
Oh China, you still continue to amuse me... in that special way where i somehow both expect it and am hilariously, breifly shocked... then it's somber, confirming what we know is real/continues to be a societal and cognitive decline trend with no apparent rock bottom, without all-out demise as a near certainty... nor a hail mary play.
... but hey, what better way to digest the real-time info, indicative of something that should be terrifying, but is all too expected, than this unique type of format?
Seriously though, even if it worked amazingly, why would anyone be using it outside in public? Does it require several hours a day? If not, and it was a worthwhile result for you... wouldn't you just make it part of your morning and/or evening routine...even if it had nothing to do with aesthetics, that cant be sanitary... unless you also carry it in a water-tight container or disinfectant and typically bring/use your toothbrush and toothpaste mid-day or at unusual intervals.
I have sooo many more questions about this... and none are relative to who designed/mass produced this, nor the quality of the silicone. As it was developed/produced by the silicone factory ive done great, professional, no bs, business with for about a decade... which is why i waited years to publicly ridicule this contraption.
Fyi- their primary product lines are things like bongs and dab containers; im on the fence of it that makes this better or worse.
Creepy personal truth... i reeeeally wanna know how much that woman got paid... and do to my skill set (ie. Im near utter certainty that i could find her and ask her... likely easily abd definitely without being caught doing anything suspicious. Pro tip: publicly declaring things like this makes it a bit easier to not end up doing it... obvious premeditation adding significantly more to any sentencing.22 -
Going through another department's API documentation and wrapper library where it has documented samples on how to use it. One of the samples specifically shows how to disable HTTPs requests for when retrieving customer info but it also states in the documentation to specifically NOT USE this disable function.
When it comes to customer info, I don't know why the fuck you would allow an override option to do everything over unsecure requests, and even document about it! -
This is an actual transcript...
Since it's way too long for the normal 5000 characters, hence splitting it up...
Infra Guy: mr Dev, could you please give some rational for update of jjb?
Dev: sparse checkout support is missing
Infra Guy: is this support mandatory to achive whatever you trying to do?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: u trying to get set of specific folder for set of specific components?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: bash script with cp or mv will not work for you?
Dev: no
Infra Guy: ?
Dev: when you have already present functionality why reinvent the wheel
Dev: jenkins has support for it
Dev: the jjb is the bottle neck
Infra Guy: getting this functionality onto our infra would have some implications
Dev: why should I write bash script if jenkins allows me to do that
Dev: what implications ??
Infra Guy: will you commit to solve all the issues caused by new jjb?
Dev: you show me the implications first
Infra Guy: like a year ago i have tried to get new jjb <commit_url>
Infra Guy: no, the implications is a grey area
Infra Guy: i cant show all of them and they may hit like in week or eve month
Dev: then why was it not tackled
Dev: and why was it kept like that
Infra Guy: few jobs got broken on something
Dev: it will crop up some time later
Dev: if jobs get broken because of syntax
Dev: then jobs can be fixed
Dev: is it not ???
Infra Guy: ofc
Infra Guy: its just a question who will fix them
Dev: follow the syntax and follow the guidelines
Dev: put up a test server and try and lets see
Dev: you have a dev server
Dev: why not try on that one and see what all jobs fails
Dev: and why they fail
Dev: rather than saying it will fail and who will fix
Dev: let them fail and then lets find why
Dev: I manually define a job
Dev: I get it done
Infra Guy: i dont think we have test server which have the same workload and same attention as our prod
Dev: unless you test how would you know ??
Dev: and just saying that it broke one with a version hence I wont do it
Infra Guy: and im not sure if thats fair for us to deal with implication of upgrading of the major components just cause bash script is not good enough for u
Dev: its pretty bad
Infra Guy: i do agree
Infra TL Guy: Dev, what Infra Guy is saying is that its not possible to upgrade without downtime
Infra Guy: no
Dev: how long a downtime are we looking at ??
Infra Guy: im saying that after this upgrade we will have deal with consequences for long time
Infra Guy-2: No this is not testing the upgrade is the huge effort as we dont have dev resources to handle each job to run
Dev: if your jjb compiles all the yaml without error
Dev: I am not sure what consequences are we talking of
Infra Guy: so you think there will be no consequences, right?
Dev: unless you take the plunge will you know ??
Dev: you have a dev server running at port 9000
Infra Guy: this servers runs nothing
Dev: that is good
Dev: there you can take the risk
Infra Guy: and the fack we have managed to put something onto api doesnt mean it works
Dev: what API ?
Infra Guy: jenkins api
Infra Guy: hmmm
Dev: what have you put on Jenkins API ??
Infra Guy: (
Dev: jjb is a CLI
Infra Guy: ((
Dev: is what I understand
Dev: not a Jenkins API
Infra Guy: (((
Dev: (((((
Infra Guy: jjb build xmls and push them onto api
Infra Guy: and its doent matter
Dev: so you mean to say upgrading a CLI is goig to upgrade your core jenkisn API
Dev: give me a break
Infra Guy: the matter is that even if have managed to build something and put it onto api
Infra Guy: doesnt mean it will work
Dev: the API consumes the xml file and creates a job
Infra Guy: right
Dev: if it confirms to the options which it understands
Dev: then everything will work
Dev: I am actually not getting your point Infra Guy
Infra Guy: i do agree mr Dev
Dev: we are beating around the bush
Infra Guy: just want to be sure that if this upgrade will break something
Infra Guy: we will have a person who will fix it
Dev: that is what CICD is supposed to let me know with valid reasons
Dev: why can't that upgrade be done
Infra Guy: it can be done
Infra Guy: i even have commit in place3 -
Background: I am working on task x. On successful completion of task x, task y may be given to me. Task x is haaaaaard. My group is not the only player and any fuck up will break my group and at least two others. Now here is my story:
Me: Yeah I am doing this hard thing and that hard thing and getting ready for these hard meetings.
FormerCoWorker fcw (): wow that sounds hard.
CurrentCoWorker ccw (): yeah he's working on task x and task you.
Me me (): what? No I'm not. I am working on task x. Don't go randomly assigning me tasks like that.
ccw: well if you finish task x you will be an expert in section z of code. So it is only natural you take on task you.
me: yeah but task x sucks and task y is why several engineers have quit the company. You never know. You could be assigned task y and quit. Why do I have to take on task y and quit?
NGL, I will do it of they promote me. I may be a whore, but I am gonna get paid. -
A shitty platform that, although open source, there is no clearly documented way of setting a development environment for it. This pile of crap states clearly that it does NOT support RTL languages. One of the core business requirements is Arabic support. What to do? Look for other platforms? WRONG!
Base the fucking business on it and ask ME to see why the SQL database is not encoding the Arabic characters correctly and to look into the logs that back-end puked. My expertise is mobile development anyways damnit. Sure the backend code is Java code (Java jokers and haters, not the appropriate place) and I know it but there is no fucking way to test that motherfucker or to build it! No fucking testing server can be made! Only instructions to get a Docker image pulled and set up.
FML.
"This company is a fucking م."
I cannot believe I am so frustrated that I am ending this rant with a fun puzzle.
Hints to help you decipher the quoted sentence:
Hint 1: That Arabic letter is the perfect letter.
Hint 2: You don't need to be an Arab to understand what it means.6 -
I have come to learn that when you script nearly everything in your job, what remains are the real pain in the ass clients.
I have told this particular client before that the issue does not lie with our equipment. I have verified while on a conference call with the other vendors that I am out of the equation. They concurred while the client was on the phone.
And yet.... Today, almost two weeks later, I have been assigned a ticket to re-verify our settings and to potentially troubleshoot !OurEquipment.
What hurts me the most is that my CEO is the best boss I have ever had, but he panders to these clients that do not listen to the diagnosis.
I am literally doing the same thing over again. I am not expecting a different outcome. I don't know why others expect a different outcome.
Because of this one example (and other similar ones), I am so tempted to leave an otherwise great company and environment. -
A: Do you know Big O?
B: Yea I know Big O. Who doesn't know Big O?
A: So what's the Big O of X?
B: It's ....
A: Oh what about Y?
B: Oh that has a bigger Big O.
A: Hm... how about this one?
B: That's a really big Big O. Why not use mine?
A: Ooh that looks impressive, very small. So which Big O should we use?
B: Well there's a constant trade off, even though small is good, in this case I think the bigger one works better.4 -
Hello all (App devs) I have finalized all APIs and here is the postman collection for you. I have been working on the chat page so excuse me for my delay but I finished all the system all that is remaining is the chat. I will be working on it tonight.
Please let me know if there is anything wrong.
Dev 1: thank you will see then asap.
Dev 2: why do u want to make me lost we said u deliver the chat first and then we move forward with the app.
Me: well I had some difficulties with the chat so I finalized all else and u can fix those while I fix the chat
Dev 2: no this is not what we agreed on. This is propostrous. I will not do anything anymore. I need the chat to finale x y and z.
Me: dude the chat has nothing to do with x y and z u can finalize those and then fix the chat!
Dev 2: no I don't understand this is not right.
Me: dude I built the backend I know what u need for x y z. Anyway why all the blame and the destructive approach?
Dev 2 don't think we r kids we r not kids .. (bullshit talk)...
This is the scenario that happens Everytime a pussy of a Dev is late and is ignorant of their job and all about blame it on the weakest point.
Therefore guess what's drafted ?!
MY RESIGNATION PAPER!1 -
deploying the apps in production...
Devs: i'm confident enough that i can do this. Docker? wtf, i know how to do it.
after successfully deploy in production, 30 minutes later...
Devs: Hey, team lead. I can't access the DB, why?
Team Lead: what? why? what did you do?
Devs: I just successfully deploy in production using the tutum interface deploy button.
Team Lead: Did you uncheck to deploy the DB again?
Devs: Thinking.... hmmmmm No?
Team Lead: Opppsss, that's good. We can't eat our lunch until we fix it. We need to deploy the db back-up again.
Devs: Did I delete the db?
Team Lead: No? probably not you? LOL's
Devs: But who?
Team Lead: It's tutum but it's your mistake to unchecked to redeploy the db before you deploy the apps :D
DevOps / Software Engineer => IT -
At least pretend to have a reason for using checkboxes where the behaviour is obviously a single choice. I know I'm sometimes full of crap. I know I can waste so much time arguing for something I'm wrong about. At least I have arguments to support my approach, and I don't dismiss my mistakes. I don't need you to spend the next 5 minutes changing checkboxes for radio buttons in the mockup, it took dev 5 seconds to replace "checkbox" with "radio" and move on. However, I do need you to know what you're doing, even if it turns to be wrong.
I know this world celebrates people who can do things perfectly: models with perfect bodies, singers with perfect voices, sportsmen with perfect scores, students with perfect grades. I understand that's why you wish to try again so you can do it perfectly.
That's not what the world needs. The world needs people who know why they did what they did. It's drunk drivers who break down in the court, not serial killers. Serial killers know what they did, they know why they did it, and they believe it was the right thing to do; drunk drivers on the other hand had no idea what they did or why they did it, and they try to dismiss their wrongdoings by blaming them on alcohol, not getting a taxi, parking fees, the car, or some other circumstances.
So confront your bullshit for once. Stop searching for excuses to dismiss challenging ideas and prove you can defend your position. Otherwise, don't get angry when your "impeccable" ideas lose to someone who at least tries to defend their nonsense.3 -
Oh my GOD. This DEVELOPER is gonna DRIVE ME CRAZY. I mean, this is just one example (of hundreds).
HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A LINK ICON IS?! WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THE MOST BASIC COMMON KNOWLEDGE?!
AAAAAARRRGHHHH!
/endrant -
Why is it that windows 10's network adapter takes so fucking long in order to work and connect to the internet!!
Does anyone know a way to trace back what's causing it? And why it takes like full 15 minutes for the Ethernet or wifi drivers to even work? (I'm not even sure if this is something with the drivers or the way windows's network adapter way of working)
I couldn't find Jack shit on the internet (most of them are ghetto do this and that and hope it works) I want something more advanced so I can figure out for once why this happens on numerous windows computers
(Linux people, I understand you, please don't rant your stuff here, this is a bit serious issue, thx)6 -
Me: This ...
Friend: Is not working.
Me: How come it not work?
Friend: You are such a ...
Me: Waste of time. I know.
Friend: Forty minutes is all I'll need to debug this program.
Me: Seconds, Can u do that in Forty seconds.
Friend: Of course not. Why would I?
Me: An idiot teacher wants me to upload it right now.
Friend: Idiot, Is that what u call a teacher.
Please read the first letter of every conversation.10 -
Okay, my first serious rant.
An acquaintance of mine when needed my help always explain his problem equivocally. Like, he would explain laboriously of the method to achieve what he needed when the thing he only needed is just a simple API call. Im not saying im an expert in this area but his explanation doesnt help me to understand his problem. If i do not understand his problem, how can i help him? At least if i know what his problem is and i cant help, i can seek help from others.
And hes not even working in the same company as me. And he wants it solved ASAP. I dont know your problem, yet you want me to solve it? I dont even know if im capable of solving it! And I have my own job to do..
He always try hard to explain it. He tried to sound professional. And he always ask for my help first because I knew he doesnt want others to know that he doesnt know how to code. Why do you apply for the position if you know you cant handle it?! Everytime. He's been fired before. And he did it again. I cant. We are fresh graduate. Apply for a fresh grad position. If you dont know anything, just said you dont know unless youre very quick to learn..
I remember once we need to submit a linux commands or something homework. We need to code it during the class and submit it by the end of the class. He asked me to code for him while mine is still half done. "Quicker please!" he remarked. There were still plenty of our classmates still doing it and some even havent done it yet. What the f are you rushing i felt like slapping him in the face with the keyboard at that time but because i am a matured adult i did not do it.
Hes not even a bully he just always get panic without reasons. He wants things done early and then he can post on social media. "Oh so tired this program is so complicated" or like "Oh damn, they want me to lead the group again (roll eyes emoticon)"...
Please somebody run over him.
Hes making me bald everyday and i think this is unhealthy. If he wants to get bald, get bald alone. I was just starting to work but my hair has been falling everyday.5 -
https://devrant.com/rants/2388734/...
Opengenus talks about how his honesty bit him in his ass and I'd like to expound further on the topic.
You have to remember, honesty is rarely rewarded.
My motto is LLAMF, a powerful tool for success.
Like a buddhist mantra, I chant it every morning as I'm getting out of bed.
If you look around you'll see this wherever you turn your head. On the news? People lying like a mothafuka for their job. People selling something on tv? Billboard? internet? Lying like a mothafuka. People in fancy suits with fancy pieces of cloth tied around their neck to tell you who the master holding their dog leash is? "I did not kill that hooker", "We have to sign the law to know whats in it", "These ratfuck starving terrorhobos huddled inside a cave out in buttfuck nowhere, saudi arabia? They made a nuclear bomb!". Lying..like a mothafuka.
And all of them have careers, or jobs, or some cause, or principles they 'believe' in. Or nation they 'serve'. Or any other justification, any other *excuse*. But really thats all it is.
In this great big universe, you didn't exist for billions, possibly trillions of years, and now you do, for a brief span, and then afterward, you'll cease to exist (maybe, who knows what happens after death?), for more billions or trillions of years.
Put on that scale, no utterance out of your mouth *can* or *will* ever really truly matter. at all.
I say, go nuts for donuts.
Did you know I was almost a billionaire? TRUE STORY.
Did you know I once told a guy in a turtle neck sweater about this great new idea for portable phones. His name was steve jobs. TRUE STORY.
Did you know I cowrote a canticle for leibowitz? TRUE STORY.
Did you know I'm a mothafuking time traveler? TRUE STORY.
Napoleon said "Imagination Rules The World". Of course he also said a bunch of other things, mostly (all) in french. I don't speak french. But why live in ordinary reality when countless others do? Why not live in a world all your own making, and let people believe whatever the hell you tell them? Why not be the most interesting person in the room? Or the most obnoxious, but hey, at least no one can say you didn't try!
Lie to me. You know I love it when you do.
My favorite lie I tell to *myself*, every morning. Like zen. "I'm gonna do something great one day."
And it keeps me going, keeps me high.
Whats your favorite kinda lie?4 -
Why do some hosting services with MySQL not allow triggers and stored procedures / functions?
Had never tried to use them and now I've done it and deployed a site, I discover I can't create triggers, and that some hosting provider don't allow users to do them... this is a rant but more of a question, as I didn't know and maybe there's lore to it you do know...1 -
JPA my friend ... JPA why are you like this? JPA why do hate me so much? JPA, let's have a word ...
How come you are so far away from real-world problems, so cumbersome to use, so ugly (criteria API), so wrong and inconsistent?
Oh, what it's all your parents fault? Oh come, on that can't be, right? Did you have a bad childhood?
Your parent's were fucking crack-smoking maniacs which didn't know a single bit about actual databases?
They design you as an API without actually trying you out in the wild? And then they patched up together with some essential DB stuff, like friggin indexes? Not even tried to make this API consistent nor really functional?
Oh poor, you little JPA ... -
Say, you have a huge system with tight memory constraints. Almost every programmer who's created an instance of any object now has that instance in contention for resources on this system. The free memory is going lesser and lesser and other resources are also facing the heat. The garbage collector is not very effective (as garbage collectors we know are). There is a very large pool of objects that do not have any reference and are left to their own. Now instead of instantiating your own objects, you can simply request one off the pool and work with it however you like (regardless of what type the object was) and change its type to the type you want it to (coz they're all after all instances of the same base class).
Now the question is, would you still instantiate your own object or just request from the pool? If it were a fact that once this system is down, you'll never be able to develop and deploy a single program ever again, would you still not care for it?
If only my mom was a programmer, I could have easily explained why I want to adopt a kid and not make my own. :/ -
Why do you lil' shits keep making LAYERS and LAYERS of unnecessary abstraction and then call it goddamn progress???
Dude what the fuck is this UEFI shit?!
Why the hell do I NEED to import a frigging library and read tons of boring and overly complicated documentation just so I can paint a pixel on the screen now uh??
Alright alright yeah so the BIOS is a little basic but daaaamit son if you want something a bit more complicated you make it yourself or install an OS that provides it! Like we've been doing it for years!!!
Dude, you don't get to know what a file system is until I tell you!
The PC be like:
"You wanna dereference the 0x0 pointer? There you go: it's 0xE9DF41, anything else?
You wanna write to the screen? Ok I have a perfectly convinient interrupt setup for that.
Wanna paint a pixel yellow? Ok, just call this other interruption. Theere we go.
And it only took four bytes and a nanosecond to do it."
That shit works, and if you want something more complex, but not too much, that still runs efficiently install DOS.
Don't mess around with the hardware pleeease.
We can still understand what's going on down there. Once UEFI steps in, it'll be like sealing a door forever. Long live BIOS damn it all!1 -
Man I'm annoyed!
TL;Dr what does it mean "we're trying to reduce options to a minimum", why don't you go closed source!? why don't you remove themes!?
For anyone who uses rofi, they would know that a few months ago an update made it more compliant with the free-desktop spec, that it only uses the first .desktop file for the given Name tag.
I only found out about this recently as I was only able to update Manjaro recently, and it really annoyed me, cause it took me a while to figure out why tons of my desktop entries disappeared.
Turns out someone made an issue about this, and the given answer was: "that's against the spec". Ok, fine. But when I asked if they could add an option to still ignore that aspect of the spec (i.e. --show-duplicated), the response I got was: "going against the spec is a no-go". WHAT!?
There are so many things that have behavior that goes against the spec (ex. gnu-utils), why can't they add an option to do this!? An OPTION!?
When I decided to try (I don't know C yet) and make a PR, the first and last (it got locked afterwards!) comment I got was:
" As explained on #941, this is a no-go. We want to reduce the number of options to the minimum, and non-compliance to a well-defined and widely implemented spec is definitely not something we want."
Why are you so closed minded!? Yes compliance is amazing, but it's not a safety standard, it's okay if you *give an option* to go against the spec!!!!
WHAT THE HECK!?!?!? WHY!?!?!?
Why is a open source project closed to new features that are part if the scope of the project, and require minimal maintenance!?11 -
This summer I have a goal to master web development(nice joke, I know, but you get my point...). Html, CSS, Javacript, Python-Django etc and a website that is getting better all the time. But I have a big problem, something that really bothers me. I lack in understanding. I set up servers following tutorials and God help me if something doesn't work, I use patterns and libraries I barely know what they're made of, technologies that are totally strange to me. Right now, I'm totally confused of whether I need to have my database on a different server, or a dbaas, what the hell do I do if static files pile up etc. What can I do to get myself out of this path? Any books, courses, whatever, that teach not only the how but also the why? Thank you5
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Haproxy.
Backlog.
30_000.
Nooooo.... Why on earth do you do that.
And yeah....
Looking at the sysctl settings someone took a road trip to Google and stackoverflow and just copy pasted every mother fucking stupid bullshit bingo inside it.
Half of this doesn't apply as the kernel version doesn't even support it anymore (for good reasons) or makes sense as these settings have NOTHING not even REMOTELY to do with the servers hw setup.
If you have no fucking clue what you do, ram the keyboard up your arse till you enjoy it.
But stay the fuck away from administration and the fuck away from anything that carries responsibilities.
Joyful task today: unclogging old failing Haproxy setups while being busy with 3 other tasks.
And if you wanna know why they're failing and it needed to happen today... Weeeell....
They restarted. And today they decided to restart so fast people finally noticed it.
Cause yeah. They did that the last fucking years every few hours. Now every 5 minutes.
:@ :@ :@ :@ :@ :@ -
God damn it, Gatling. Why didn't you put your fucking command line argument passing at the front of your docs instead of being buried under 'cookbook'? It's not a fucking recipe! it's core mother fucking functionality! "how do I run this command-line utility from the command-line by script?". "I don't know, maybe I should check the fucking cookbook since apparently it's not basic functionality that LITERALLY everyone using the fucking product will need!
So now I have to go back and parameterize one of the sims I've built AFTER I've mimicked our entire performance test matrix! FUCK! -
Python rant. Why does my 500 line Flask file look like one long oblong, & why am I adding comments that say “end of function” in *any* programming language when surely clear visual marking of this should be built in? Why did I spent 2 hours debugging SQLite3 dict factory function only to find the issue was a misaligned indented function block that my linter hadn’t picked up on because it appeared to be a logic error. Why do you make my missing tab spaces into logic errors Python? And why does everyone insist that curly braces are just as bad? Not in my world Python. Also, stop returning obscure objects unannounced like I’m supposed to know about it in advance, and stop making me run an entire file only to find I have another mystery type error because I expected x and got y. I hate you Python!!4
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TLDR; Send help, need VR video player that works on all the platforms (not IE, that can burn in hell)
Okay, don't get me wrong; I love iOS and most of it's features like being able to connect to the same WIFI-networks without having to fill a password twice.
But holy shit; Fuck Safari.
They made it so hard to access the stupid motion thing which you can use for VR.
Why do I know this? Well of course I have been building an app for a client which needs to display 360 degree video, which would be best viewed by turning your phone instead of swiping across your screen.3 -
I don't know why I can't understand how to use thymeleaf. It's concept makes sense, split an html page into two so you have a header html page made up of code you don't want to change, and an index html page of content you do want to edit. But no matter what it won't fucking connect the classes.
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
If anyone has experience with this you can take a look at my post here on it, maybe give some input. For now though I'm going to just run a single html file and make comments in my index page. :/5 -
is laravel app really enjoyable to write ?
i started as a laravel dev. the known story , all code in controllers etc. As i started to improve, fortunately i changed company, and worked with a symfony project. A symfony that looked like java. hundreds of classes, tests, yaml injections , objects for requests, for everything.
I thought that i missed the old laravel days, and i took an extra job on laravel again. I was soooo wrong.
It was not only that the code of the previous dev was inferior to what i am now used, it is that i have to be with an open documentation all the time. Even if the project is in the same version that i have used to earlier (an old one).
You have to check all the time the model settings, the migration, the magic tricks of model mass insert, the castings, the validation rules, why the tests are not finding some routes, why this, why that, how it is written this.
Excuse me, but i think the fun and easiness is far from what they say and what i thought it was. I start to change my mind and believe that inserting the request to a simple php object is more controllable than the gandalf tricks that laravel is doing, and you cannot know if it is worth your time to test it . And more importantly, you do not have to look at the cookbook, all the time@@@5 -
*Begin rant*
I know I'm a bit late to bitch about this, but why would anyone in their right mind remove a UI/UX gesture that was loved and adored by millions and replace it with a far less intuitive gesture? I'm talking about Google's decision to fucking replace the Google Now swipe to dismiss cards gesture with a two stage tap and click to hide stories gesture! Why the fuck would you do that? The buttons are far too much of a precision action. And they are located at an area that is not natural for a single handed use. What this has effectively done is, force me to use my phone with two hands. And I fucking hate it! Can anyone here give me a valid reason for Google's design change? It's beginning to get on my nerves and my OCD compels me to hide all the cards until there is none left, so not minding it is not an option! Ughh!
*End rant*2 -
This conversation happened yesterday between me and a client:
"I need drivers for my Hackintosh build, macOS doesn't find and install the graphics card and the NIC"
I laughed at first, then i asked him his configuration..
"I have a 6700K and an MSI M3 H170"
Okay, things are getting worse here...
"So do you know the difference between H170 and Z170?"
"Yes, I have bought an H170 one because i do not overclock"
"Then, tell me why the f*ck you have bought a K processor if you do not f*cking overclock..."
"Because is more powerful"
F*ck no, he didn't said that... -
all this talk of australian crypto laws got me thinking. here's a hypothetical (this might get a little complicated):
for the sake of the security facade, the government decides to not ban encryption outright. BUT they decide that all crypto will use the same key. therefore you can not directly read encrypted things, but it's not really encrypted anymore is it?
part two: there's a concept called chicken sexing, named after people who determine the sex of baby chicks. male chicks are pretty useless and expensive to keep alive, so they are eaten. female chicks go on to lay eggs, so ideally, from a financial standpoint, you only raise hens to maturity. this is nearly impossible to discern early on so at first you're just straight up guessing. is this one female? sure? that one? no? really 50/50. BUT if you have a skilled chicken sexer looking over your shoulder, saying right or wrong, then eventually you get better. why? nobody knows. they can't explain it. nobody can. you just sort of "know" when it's female or not. some people can do 1000s of chicks/hr with success up to 98% but nobody can explain how to tell them apart.
part three. final part:
after years, even decades of using this encryption with only one key, I wonder if people (even if only people who are regularly exposed to crypto like NSA analysts or cryptographers) can ever learn to understand it. in the same way as above. you don't know exactly what it says. or how you know it. you didn't run an algorithm in your head or decrypt it. but somehow you get the gist.
28464e294af01d1845bcd21 roughly translates to "just bought a PS5! WOOT!" or even just pick out details. PS5. excited. bought.
but how do you know that? idk. just do.
oh what a creepy future it has become.8 -
So I’m taking a class on compilers (currently a college student) and as I get further into a coding project we have to do I can feel and see my code degrading into a giant mass of spaghetti. Although I know that I should refactor it because it is messy (currently trying to find a balance between refactoring and actually getting the assignment done) the scary thing is some students in my class think this is perfectly normal code and is what good code looks like. Scary thought that so many people graduating from university have no concept of object orientation, reusability, etc... but what’s even scarier is most professors could not give two shits about any of these notions. I guess this is the biggest reason why a computer science degree does not prepare you for a job in industry.
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Why do I struggle sooooo much with xCode and Swift just trying to place a button in the View that when you click, runs a function? I can do this very easily with Visual Studio and C# but not xCode.
Anyone know a good (simple) tutorial video on creating views with xCode and Swift? Every one I’ve seen all assume that you have programmed in Swift for over 10 years.2 -
I wonder what they do with this shit
Why do I keep having to repeat this ?
Maybe so they don’t get charged anymore
You know bullets are cheaper
Boom twenty cents
On a lighter note
If there is still a time period where the worst I have to worry about is walking in on a group of guys getting blown by a topless hotel attendant which is not awful at all send me to that and gtfo -
Wtf is this ESP32 shit and it's hype?
I bought one because I thought JS on a microcontroller? That's gotta be fun!
I'm a hobbiest when it comes to MCUs and I do JS as a job, so I tought I'm made for this and I know at least as much as all the kids on the internet doing it.
Nothing makes sense with this shit. You have to flash wildly compiled modules of WHATEVERTHEFUCK with fucken python development-kits which have something to do with Lua to give you some kind of node-REPL which answers you with a bunch of strangely-looking errors starting with "stdin:x:".
If this NODE-MCU shit is made for JS why is there stuff about Lua everywhere you go with this, I don't get a single thing. Now I'm sitting on about 3 different git repos of sdks or what do I know and know less than before.
Oh and there is actually not a single tutorial really targetting the esp32. it's all about that 82xx-model.
Then I start googling around a bit more - It's not even ES6, it's just some ES3/5 shit. Why would you even do this. That's actually harder to manage than classic C/C++. You get no gain with it. Fuck me.
Wtf bro.23 -
Is Apple alone who owns the rights to its systems? Or do users also own the system when they buy the iPhone? What I know is that users have a USER ONLY license, a non-private, limited and revocable license by Apple. And if what I think is true and that Apple owns its systems, then it is a private right for it, isn't that true?. So why are governments such as the governments of the European Union trying to impose laws on Apple and try to impose changes on Apple's systems even though the systems are private and not public or open source? Is this not considered an attack on private property? I don't know, I just want to get your opinion on the matter more..
What I know is that there are options other than Apple's own systems!!. Therefore, if you want to change, take Android instead of forcing Apple to change what Apple does not want to change.9 -
Please Google fix my Chromebook's new tab screen as well as stop screwing up every single screenshot extension. I can't directly upload screenshots slowing down skype meetings. Why are you doing this to me? Your product forums (https://productforums.google.com/fo...) are treating me like I am an old lady who doesn't know what they are talking about. I do not understand what's so hard to comprehend. 1 Google Support Chat, 2 Feedbacks, 1 Debug Log Sent, Screenshots and everything yet you still fail. I have provided significant proof that there is an issue caused by you. Now please fix it because I can't since the Chromebook disables all code not signed by Google (unless you are in dev mode aka annoying screen + lose all security). You guys like hate me or something :(
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Well, so this time, it's not a joke....it's a moral kinda thing.....
Why do we want something?
We want something because we have the desire to know about it or we have the desire to achieve something or prove ourselves superior.
Why do we want to be superior?
People are so getting into the phrase, "Life is a race, if you don't run, you loose", that they unknowingly have the desire to be superior and fight for it.
This is totally not true. Life is not a race...it's an experience....we learn from life....we learn from everything and everytime we act. Life is not an assest that you race with. So, then why to race? Enjoy life. Gather true knowledge, not the so-called school's exercise book "knowledge".
Until we defeat our desire, till then, we are evils even though we think that we are good.
Desire kills, Defeating desire will give you a true life to live.9 -
Multer is shit.
Do you know how to validate file size + mime type of the file before saving it to the disk?
Here is an instruction:
1. In one place you provide a it a fileFilter function that will validate the mime type, but this function can not validate file size or send user response.
2. In second place provide it a config limits file, that will validate file size, but can not validate mime type
3. In third place you provide middleware to capture any errors caused by previous 2 places and send response back to the user.
4. Go google for what is cb in multer because their shit documentation says nothing about it
Such simple thing as request->validation->response is split into 3 different parts, each of different type: callback, config file and middleware.
Why do so much people use this shit written by a braindead retarded morons?3 -
As an art guy trying to learn how to code , I’m blown away on how antiquated the entire process is. Not knowing anything about code I can expertly say that there should be a better way to program. It hasn’t changed much since I used BASIC. Is this the best you can do? Typing line after line of rubbish lingo that only code bros know. Why not invent a smart version of scratch? What a waste.
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Do you know how boring and predictable every story line would become if you people hid your stupid number shit serially inside each episode ?
how robotic the writers would be ?
course I don't expect you all to understand theres a fucker here with two approaching late teens daughters who look younger who know he's selling the youngest ever changing kid and I know this because the youngest has not aged. in almost a decade if not one. he and the mother have though.
i want to stab him.
and the question I have to ask is.
why perform the actions that bring me here closer to just giving into my impulse ?10 -
Question to all Ruby and ToR programmers. What do you hate in Ruby/RoR?
I don't know why Ruby is not Popular and didn't hear about problem with this lang.2 -
Ok so, i have no idea where i can ask this kinda thing so i'm asking it here (i know i could do like stackexchange or dead aws discord servers, ... nvm you know why i'm not going that route).
Anyways,
I'm looking for a comparison between a mongo+node setup on a basic t1.micro instance and a lambda+dynamodb setup.
Each one has it's perks obviously but i guess i sorta prefer whichever one gives best performance on the free tier.
I do know dynamo has 25 reads and 25 writes a second on the free tier, which might be a little less ? I really have no clue.
But how many writes/reads would a basic mongo setup be able to achieve on the t1.micro instance ? Any idea? Do share your experiences with these architectures as well. I'm sort of a newb with serverless, the downsides aren't worth it for me but I'm learning it nevertheless. It sorta tickles some sort of self-torture curiosity fetish (need more self-research to back that).10